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Scotland: Aliens' Official Favorite Destination

timothy posted more than 12 years ago | from the decent-haggis-hard-to-find dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 610

scubacuda writes: "This Reuters article says that Scotland has the highest concentration of UFO sightings--300 per year, the most per square kilometer and per head of population of anywhere in the world. That means 0.004 UFOs for every square kilometer of Scotland -- a rate four times as high as in France or Italy, earth's other UFO hotspots. (In comparison, only 2,000 UFOs are spotted every year in the United States represent, making just 0.0002 sightings per square kilometer. Bonnybridge--30 miles west of Edinburgh--seems to be the Scotland equivalent of Roswell, New Mexico). UFO nuts explain it in terms of aliens being attracted to remote areas. But can anyone say *autosuggestion*?"

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you are teh sux (-1)

L0rdkariya (562469) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757383)

I am teh best

Re:you are teh sux (-1)

News For Turds (580751) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757450)

u r teh rawx

monkey boy is stil teh sux

Re:you are teh sux (-1)

L0rdkariya (562469) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757478)

There's an unusually high concentration of Pr0n stories today that focus on people turning into goats. I can't necessarily say I'm in favor of this.

Scotland: Goats live in fear (-1)

Sexual Asspussy (453406) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757388)

one more time for the CLIT (not first)

"And look at this cool fan I got while I was there," Karen said. She held up the curious
fan she had obtained in Japan.
"It's very nice, but not near as nice as you are," Steve flattered, taking Karen's hand and
kissing it. "I missed you."
"Oh, what a chivalrous gentleman," Karen flipped open the fan and fanned herself gently,
as though she were a southern belle.
"Now would Milady care for her royal rogering?" Steve said with a grin.
"Huh! Well I never!" Karen protested. She closed her fan and batted him on the nose
with it. A light film of something like dust rose from the fan and coated Steve's face. He
sneezed, then looked cross-eyed at his nose, then at Karen who had taken an affectatious stance.
She looked cross for a moment, then leapt into his arms, dropping the fan to the floor. "Let's go,
stud!" she exclaimed, giggling and grinning happily.
Steve carried her to the bedroom where he stood her in front of the bed long enough to
strip her clothes from her, kissing whatever happened to be in front of him at the time. He pushed
her back on the bed and hurriedly undid his own clothes, jumping on top of her when he had
"Ooooh..." Karen moaned lengthily.
"I missed you so much," he murmured.
"I missed you too, big boy... Now fuck me silly before I change my mind."
Steve obliged, inserting his rock hard cock and pumping away. Karen groaned in ecstasy
as an animalistic urge overtook him and began pounding at her body harder and faster. It took a
short amount of time before both of the lovers came; they had been without each other for two
weeks. Karen's legs sprawled wide and Steve's hips spasmed uncontrollably. They cried out
together as Steve's seed traveled through Karen's womb to find its eventual target.
The couple huffed and panted in their sanguine afterglow. Steve shifted and rolled them
both onto their sides, facing each other. They kissed passionately and snuggled gently, falling
asleep in each other's arms while Steve's penis softened and slipped wetly from Karen's body.
Neither noticed, but as his penis slipped free of Karen, it also retracted into a small, rubbery
sheath that grew up over his penis and attached itself to his stomach.

After an hour, Karen unconsciously flicked her hand over her shoulder, accidentally hitting
Steve on the nose.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" he asked, startled awake.
Karen woke slowly. "Your beard was tickling my neck, Steve."
"I just clipped it yesterday, it shouldn't be that long."
Karen was tired from her flight overseas. It would have been worse if she'd had to fly all
the way back to America, but since they had gotten married, they had lived at her place in
England. She rolled over, a little annoyed. "Well if it wasn't your beard -- Oh my god! Steve,
your beard!"
"What?" When he spoke Steve's long grey beard wiggled. Karen grabbed it in her hand
and tugged it.
"It's long and grey!" she exclaimed. She looked into his eyes with a frightened expression
and screamed as she saw Steve's square pupils. She pushed him frantically out of bed and forced
him to the bathroom mirror. "Look!" she said.
He looked at his reflection and let out a yell. "What the hell?" He held his hands up to his
face, feeling the grey stubble that was suddenly growing all over his face, and for the first time
noticed how stiff his fingers were. "What's happening to me?" he cried.
The two stood and looked over his body. Karen was first to see his sheathed penis and
grabbed it roughly. Steve yelled as she turned him around and went in for a closer look. He
looked down at her near his crotch and seemed to forget about his sudden, unexpected
transformation and began getting excited. As Karen crouched in front of his furry, thick sheath
and his low, swinging balls, Steve's red, slick penis began to press back the sheath. She watched
its tip move forth for a morbid moment, then tried to stand up and back away, but she was forced
back down. He had grabbed her head with his slowly fusing fingers and guided her back to his
penis. She tried to resist, turning her head in disgust as the heat from his member forced his
changing scent up her nose, but Steve's hardening fingers were insistent and he forced Karen
down on his cock. Fur began to creep up his belly as she unwillingly sucked at it.
Steve began to lose his grip on Karen's head as his fingers finally fused into hooves, but
instead he kept insistent pressure on her head with his changing, furry arms. He thrust his red-hot
member into her mouth, his pendulous balls slapping against her chin. She closed her eyes and
winced in disgust as Steve bleated, spewing hot cum into her mouth. Some of it fell down her
throat, the rest she spit into the toilet, coughing and retching violently as Steve wandered absent-
mindedly from the bathroom on clicking toe-hooves.
Karen looked up from the bowl as she heard a loud thunk from the other room and,
though she had practically just been raped by him, she still cared what happened to the old sod.
She wandered into the room to see that Steve had fallen over and was standing on all fours. His
legs were shortening and chest was barreling out. Karen finally recognized the animal; a goat.
Steve bleated as a long, furry tail jutted out of his naked back. Sweat dripped off his skin
where it wasn't yet covered with grey fur. He bleated again as his nose began to widen and his
face to push forward. His hair had greyed and become coarse and short, and two bumps were
protruding from his forehead just above his lengthening ears.
Karen cried and held the goat as he bleated again for the first time as a full goat. She wept
and held the goat tightly even as he squirmed and tried to get free. Finally, she let him go and he
walked only a short distance away to the other side of the bed and looked at her. Karen thought
there might still be something left of Steve from the way he looked at her, but that was quickly
out when he started chewing the bedspread. She stood angrily, ripped him away from it, and led
him outside by the scuff of his neck. She closed the door and slumped, naked and crying against
it. She shuffled wearily back to the bed, kicking the fan she had dropped on the way. More of
the dust flew into the air and collected on her leg, but she didn't notice as she lay back in bed and
cried herself to sleep.

Karen was awakened by the sound of bleating from the back yard. She rubbed her eyes
and stretched her arms out first, then ran them down her body in another stretch. She was jolted
fully awake when her hands hit four large bumps on her stomach. She looked and saw four big
nipples bulging out of her belly. She pinched them experimentally and was surprised to find them
extremely sensitive and still growing.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Looks like I'm joining you, Steve."
Karen got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, her back feeling a little stiff. She wept
harshly as she looked into the mirror and saw her square pupils and the grey tips of her ears
sticking out of her thinning hair. Her knees felt weak and she sank to the floor wailing piteously,
covering her eyes with her stiffening fingers. Her body was wracked with sobs as grey hairs
sprouted on her chin and lengthened slowly despite her.
"Why?" she murmured babbling. "Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?"
She continued crying until she accidentally bleated, which startled her out of her reverie. She
looked down at her increasingly misshapen legs and the large, full-looking nipples hanging from
her stomach and knew that she had to get outside. She stood, forcefully hunched, and walked
towards the back door, a fleshy sack slowly inflating under her nipples. Her hardened and fusing
fingers couldn't work the knob, but she eventually managed to turn it. Steve wandered over and
sniffed at her curiously bulging stomach topped with four dangling nipples. The large sack made
her walk bowlegged out the door into the back yard where she sat, resigned to her fate. Steve
bleated at her as Karen's scent began changing.
Fur was spreading over her arms and legs which were splayed to allow her fat udder to lay
freely on the ground. She could feel her tail growing from her back and she cried as it wagged
and flipped about. Her fingers were now just vague impressions inside her solid, cloven hooves,
and that was rapidly changing. She dropped to her side as her back began to hurt the way she
was sitting. She bleated mournfully and looked over at Steve through changing eyes and saw his
goat penis already out of its sheath. While she had rejected it earlier, it now appealed to her and
teased her with it's presence. She worked herself up onto all fours, her shortening legs forcing
her ass into the air. Although she wanted the other goat in her, her changing body afforded her
the brief knowledge that she had already been fertilized. She didn't care. The thought occurred
to her human mind, then her human mind was gone. Steve slid up her back and rammed his penis
home as Karen's muzzle began to form. She stood steadily on four hooves as Steve's pumping
caused her udder to sway between her legs. As her fur beard grew in and horns grew on her
head, Steve spewed his goat cum into her body and her transformation subsided. The goat
dismounted and nuzzled his mate, and they began to graze.

A few weeks passed and the police were called to the house to investigate two missing
persons. They found only an open door and two goats in the back yard. The goats were taken to
an animal refuge, but the persons were never found.

As the months went on, Karen's animal belly ceased to curve upward and now protruded
downward and outward roundly. It had grown fat with her offspring, and, had she been human,
she might have worried about whether the offspring would be a human or a goat. The maternal
instincts of the nanny goat did not include these thoughts, however. Her udder swung heavily
with the weight of the milk being produced for her kid, and her swollen furry belly made it
difficult for her to walk.
One day, Karen's instinct took full control of her systems and she flopped down on her
side, her belly heaving, the caretaker of the refuge calling his wife over to watch. After a few
minutes, the muscles contracted in her base, simplistic, animal vagina and began to force out her
offspring. First, a wet splash of birth fluid made the loose dirt into mud, then, as the mass fell
further from her body, Karen stood again on all fours and pushed her kid all the way out. It
flopped limply on the ground and she turned and began to lick the wet, wriggling goat kid of its
placental sack and birth fluid. Later, it would drink her nourishing milk from one of the heavy
nipples which would squirt milk from her full udder and make a milky mess of her kid's face, but
she would be happy to clean that off as well.

A book recommendation for the submitter: (5, Informative)

TDScott (260197) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757393)

"The Demon-Haunted World" by Carl Sagan does an excellent job of debunking such myths and mysteries, as does the Skeptic's Dictionary [] .

Funny what people believe, isn't it?

Re:A book recommendation for the submitter: (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Cowtard (573891) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757457)

Funny what lengths people go to in order to make sure everyone knows that the don't believe in all that "silly stuff." Almost like they have to do it constantly to remind themselves.

Thank you (1)

scubacuda (411898) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757479)

Thanks, I will check that out. :)

Re:A book recommendation for the submitter: (2)

Dark Paladin (116525) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757537)

I'm about halfway through that book right now.

My favorite part so far:

During the 50's, aliens said "nuclear war is bad". During the 80's, "AIDS" is bad. Great - thanks, Mr. Alien. Why couldn't you have fucking told us in the 1970's that AIDS was bad - when we could have done something about it?

Slightly paraphrased, but just as effective...! (2)

TDScott (260197) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757566)

Sagan's writing style's a little more conservative than that, but I think you got the message across ;)

What's an 'UFU?' (0, Offtopic)

SCHecklerX (229973) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757396)

Unidentified Flying Unix-Geek?

What's an 'ULP?' (-1, Troll)

kb3hag (584560) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757412)

Unidentified Long Pecker

Re:What's an 'UFU?' (1)

linzeal (197905) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757446)

I think Unidentified Flying U(ewe) after too much scotch.

Re:What's an 'UFU?' (1)

Dr. Wang (249937) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757463)

Unidentified Flying Underwear?

I hate that.....

Re:What's an 'UFU?' (1)

kb3hag (584560) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757481)

Unidentifie Fried Unix

Re:What's an 'UFV?' (-1, Troll)

kb3hag (584560) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757500)

Unidentified Full Vagina

Whats a 'LS' (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757515)

Linux sucks!

Re:What's an 'UFU?' (0, Offtopic)

until(0) (533975) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757524)

Can we say... spelling error?

but WOW were your posts amusing.....

Whiskey (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757397)

They also drink more 'homemade' brews in these areas. Hmmmmm

Re:Whiskey (1)

Easy2RememberNick (179395) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757421)

Oh you stole my line you Fat Bastard! :-P

UFU (5, Funny)

starling (26204) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757399)

UFU : abbr. Unidentified Flying Unidentifiable.

from the Dept. of Redundancy Dept. Dictionary

Re:UFU (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757473)

Unidentified Flying UFO.

Re:UFU (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757495)

Unidentified Flying UFO
Almost: Unidentified Flying UFU

Re:UFU (1)

starling (26204) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757514)

Much better :)

Re:UFU (1)

rjamestaylor (117847) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757550)

Right as rain (and Arizona could use some right about now).

I have the answer for why the Gov't claims to have no information on UFOs. It's a semantic thing. Once the gov't investigates a sighting and identifies the object seen flying as extraterrestrial, it's no longer unidentified.

Simple as pie (and I could use some right about now...)

Unidentified Frying Object (2)

oliverthered (187439) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757575)

Well is I'm supprised Scotland wasn't on this recient slashdot poll [] . Coes it sure looks like the aliens think it's a good place to stop by for somthing to eat. Or maybe it's all the beer and drams they have up there?

what's a ufu? (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757400)

what's a ufu?

Good news. (1)

lionchild (581331) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757404)

It does my heart good to see that there are bigger places than the US that have more sightings than us. We've just got lots of electromagnetic waves coming from us. The rest of the world has had civiliation on it longer. If we're gonna have been visited by aliens in the past, it's gotta be somewhere besides a country that's only a couple hundred years old!

This is a silly article (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757413)

Bonnybridge may take aliens from throughout the known universe, but they don't take American Expressâ.

psycotropic effects of peated malt? (2, Funny)

T.Monk (585143) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757415)

Just curious, maybe breathing all the vapors from those scotch distilleries may be contributing to the mass hallucinations... Along those lines, sightings are more frequent in the US where moonshine is more likely to be around...

Highlander 2 anyone? (3, Funny)

pogle (71293) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757416)

This is simply because all the immortals in the world are aliens, banished here from far far away. Their teleporter thingie musta broken, so they drop them off the old fashioned way now...

Re:Highlander 2 anyone? (1)

Rude Turnip (49495) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757583)

You horrible person! *NEVER* mention the bastardzied storyline that is Highlander 2 in front of Highlander fans! The only acceptable discussion is that of the "Renegade Cut," which follows the proper Highlander universe.

UFU vs UFO (0, Redundant)

unixmaster (573907) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757419)

Need a spellchecker ? :)

UFO != Aliens (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757420)

UFO means "unidentified flying object". The conclusion is that people in Scotland aren't very good at identifying flying objects.

It's all the Alien tourists... (5, Funny)

SpankTech3000 (194420) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757422)

going to see the Loch Ness Monster.

Re:It's all the Alien tourists... (1)

elocutio (567729) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757484)

Actually, the Loch Ness Monster is the alien tourist! There is a large group of "Nessies" who visit Scotland, because they love the fog, and they're partial to lochs and fjords. Plus, they really like the sound of bagpipes.

If you just turn your brain off for a minute and try to think, it really makes sense.

Re:It's all the Alien tourists... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757577)

Why was that modded "Informative?" Is there any way to confirm that that was in fact an informative thing to say??

Interesting UFO/Aliens viewpoint (1)

DeafDumbBlind (264205) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757424) po thesis-nejs0304.html

Re:Interesting UFO/Aliens viewpoint (1)

jspectre (102549) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757569)

wish i could read it, but i get a 404.. sorry.

Not first post! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757425)

Ive been banned from slashdot and i had to find a new IP Adress!

Fuck the stupid banning system it dosen't work! Fuck the lame ness filters i know how to crack those stupid things. Fuck the moderation system because most people read at -1!

N.W.A. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757462)

You forgot "Fuck the police with a 502"

UFO sightings vs. Internet Usage (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757427)

Does anyone here think that UFO sightings have gone down as a result of Internet usage where more people spend their nights inside as opposed to looking at the sky??? Anyone have any data on this???

Long nights + haggis = strange visions! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757431)

They don't say what months are the top UFO months. Way up north where the wintertime daylight is brief, there's more time to see what's not there. Or maybe it's a steady diet of haggis that makes the little green men so green!

Someone has to! (5, Funny)

Watts Martin (3616) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757432)

Can anyone say *autosuggestion?*

Sure: "Autosuggestion."

Re:Someone has to! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757528)

That's weird!

I was just going to say that!

English and Metric (1)

TheDick (453572) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757434)

I just love how they mix miles and kilometers in the same damn post. One or the other, geez.

Re:English and Metric (1)

popeydotcom (114724) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757511)

That's "Imperial" and Metric to you.

Re:English and Metric (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757518)

kilometers aren't really used in the UK at all, I'm not sure who did the calculation.

Re:English and Metric (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757533)

And they also dismiss the metric system compact notation. "km^2" rather than "square kilometer".

In Related News (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757435)

Scotland found to have the highest concentration of crazy fuckers: 0.004 crazy fuckers for every square kilometer of Scotland.

Sheep... (2)

Kenshin (43036) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757438)

I'd say it's most certainly the sheep that attract aliens.

Re:Sheep... (1)

ralico (446325) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757552)

In that case, then New Zealand should have significant UFO sitings reported. BBC article on counting NZ's lost sheep []

Quoth Groundskeeper Willie... (5, Funny)

Codex The Sloth (93427) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757440)

''...I have crippling arthritis in my index fingers. I got it in 1979 from Space Invaders.''-Groundskeeper Willie

''Yeah, that was a pretty addictive video game.''-Chief Wiggum

''Video game?''-Groundskeeper Willie

I think I've got it figured out. (1)

spagma (514837) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757444)

Quote "The country -- better known as the home of legendary Loch Ness monster -- has the highest concentration of UFO sightings on the planet, according to figures released Monday."

They all just need to get their eyes checked.

Statistics lie... (2)

eyeball (17206) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757449)

Unfortunately the report fails to mention that many of those alleged abductions were actually made by sheep, who tell tails of being abducted from their pens and rectally probed.

Re:Statistics lie... (1)

eyeball (17206) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757483)

Ok, and before anyone busts my balls about my spelling, I'll do it first:

I suck at the spelling.

Re:Statistics lie... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757594)

Ok, and before anyone busts my balls about my spelling, I'll do it first:

I suck at the spelling.

Bold added for even more amusement!

Re:Statistics lie... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757590)

Youre confusing wales with scotland, The scotts are more like the klingons...

This can only mean one thing... (1)

LeninZhiv (464864) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757452)

They mean to win Wimbledon!

(A reference to a Monty Python's Flying Circus episode where aliens are turning people into Scotsmen, to those of you scratching your heads.)

It's the haggis... (1)

NewbieV (568310) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757453)

The wee beasties love it, especially with a nice single malt

Welcome to All Sightings UFO... (2, Funny)

errxn (108621) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757454)

...If it's not Scottish, It's CRAP!

This is non-sense! (0)

voxel (70407) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757455)

This is non-sense! I make approx 1000 - 1200 sightings every year just MYSELF!

I live here in the outskirts of Las Vegas, and me and my neighbors report sightings every day!

I think they are throwing out our reports because we are from Las Vegas, bastard goverment!

Re:This is non-sense! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757522)

Ok, now if they were to include drug-induced "ufo" sightings from wackos and loose nuts... I would guess the USA to be at 5=6 ufo's per square foot.

fortunately, the people in charge can sort out the losers and morons from the genuine.

BTW, There is such a thing as a UFO, there is no such thing as an advanced alien race visiting us.

every Aircraft is a UFO until it is identified.. (Is that a cessna or a mooney? ohhh look the tail is swept foreward, it's a mooney! Wow, it's no longer a UFO!)

Please someone, beat the ever-living shit out of these UFO watchers...

Scotland? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757461)

Isn't that the place where they eat very strange food (can you say "haggis"?) and drink very much whisky?

That just the locals (1)

christophercook (21090) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757464)

I've been to bonnybridge, these aren't aliens- thats just what the locals looks like - do these mysterious aliens wear kappa shell-suits and push prams by any chance? The aliens have landed and they're disguised as irn-bru and vodka swigging 15-yr old's called sonya.

Sorry, it's a lovely place, honest.

Re:That just the locals (2)

doctor_oktagon (157579) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757593)

.. in that case we'd be seeing far more in Greenock than I've ever seen!

And the next person on here to say "Scotch" rather than "Whisky" is getting my toe up their arse, as we say in Scotland ;-)

Fuck fuCk fucK Fuck fucK fuck fUck fuCk f(ck fuc|( (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757465)

Read the subject, i am the subject line troll

Re:Fuck fuCk fucK Fuck fucK fuck fUck fuCk f(ck fu (-1)

L0rdkariya (562469) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757526)

No you're not, you fucking impostor.

Oh, you mean extraterrestrials! (5, Funny)

darkonc (47285) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757470)

I think that most of these sightings were actually Americans...

Strange creatures in strange garb, from a faraway place, speaking a strange language (the accent gets deep enough...) and with no apparent knowledge of human (or at least local) customs.
and they're always trying to 'probe' the local women (not to mention the sheep)!

what a coincidence.. (2, Funny)

bje2 (533276) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757471)

in related news, Scotland also leads the world in Lochness Monster sightings per capita...

Can you say "Autosuggestion" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757472)

No, I cant, cause I dont know what the hell you're talking about.

Possible Conclusions (2, Funny)

guttentag (313541) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757477)

  1. Aliens have finally realized that New Mexico is not a great vacation spot
  2. Aliens watch way to much Highlander and SciFi Channel
  3. Aliens drifted off-course on their way from Cuba to Miami (or the Coast Guard keeps driving them away)

Re:Possible Conclusions (2, Informative)

guttentag (313541) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757499)

... way to much ...
Er, "too much"

They've been seeing things for years... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757482)

Maybe Nessie's magical air biscuits rise from the loch, glowing and pulsing as they head for the skies..

Or maybe the Scots are just rip-roaring drunks like us Irish folk

We need a correlation study to verify.... (3, Funny)

zerofoo (262795) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757485)

UFO sitings may be higher in remote areas, but I think the frequency of sightings can be more closely correlated to the alcohol consumption rate in a given area.


novelty. (0)

pmanheier (316056) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757487)

maybe this will boost tourism. can you imagine a sight-seeing tour aimed at catching a UFO in flight? "And to your left, ladies and gentlemen..."

Galaxy Quest... (3, Funny)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757491)

It's probably just a bunch of Thermians visiting the birthplace of Mr. Scott.

Re:Galaxy Quest... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757576)


That was bad, man. I don't think James Doohan is actually scottish, though.

Visiblity at night? (1)

mr_infiniti (577800) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757494)

I think one reason that UFO sightings are more prevalent in Scotland has to do with visibility of the night sky. In large urban areas, you can't see the stars because of the glare/haze caused by cities, and therefore can't see possible UFO's. More people live in New York City than live in all Scotland.

What the FUCK! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757496)


edfjdlfkd ekl;erik erlke keoekrerkler erjelk eiee ke rkje ero p0 9 39 39 rlerie rkjer ekjr ej oerh eroe0re erop teikri eorieoire oilrere rirow9pr er riel.r wljr lelr rejkeiri eenr kleroi9ok lerkjekj eirj wklroe ppols rieo rlkeelr eiefnflwef slflkr woskskr wirlsloro repire flfjle relke oipejdfl rjirrp r rtuiprjijiz rwiorkirpj wirjrlkwr ripokijrr 9-op9po;we

Ah Scotland... (5, Funny)

i_want_you_to_throw_ (559379) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757505)

Come for the Haggis, stay for the anal probes.

Drunkards? (2)

photon317 (208409) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757507)

Hmm... Scottland, Italy, France - has anyone done a study to correlate the average number of UFOs sighted with the average number of alcoholic beverages imbibed?

UFU (2)

The_Shadows (255371) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757510)

Unidentified Flying Udders?

And from the sky shall rain forth the sheep or cows.

Aurora Borealis (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757520)

The Aurora Borealis, (Northern Lights) are often visible in Scotland. I expect that that would explain at least a few of the UFO sightings.

Can anyone say (1)

rjamestaylor (117847) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757521)

  • But can anyone say *autosuggestion*?
Can anyone say *Military Flyover Country*?

Scottland (2)

ajs (35943) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757527)

Well, if you lived in Scottland, you'd be looking up in the skies for some excitement. Heck, these are the people who throw rocks and logs around for fun!

Ok, relax... it's just a joke. Here in the U.S. we need to wear pads and have time-outs to play rugby, so what do ya want? :-)

Scotland: Aliens' Official Favorite Destination (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757534)

I'll remember this statistic the next time I see .004 UFOs.

Nutball to Land ratio (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757535)

So... Scotland has relatively few nutballs but it's quite small hence a high nutball/per km ratio whilst the US is many, many times bigger than Scotland yet the nutball/per km ratio is just half that of Scotland (0.0002), so in conclusion, the US much have a ridiculously high level of nutballs and slack jawed yokels to maintain such a high ratio in a huge country.

Forget Scotland... what does this really indicate? Don't travel out into the country side too far.

Well. it can't be because of the food. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757539)

Actually the favourite dish in England and Scotland these days is curry so maybe it is
the Vindaloo .
Last I heard it's tough to get a good Vindaloo
in Roswell.

Loch Ness Monster flies a UFO (2)

swb (14022) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757540)

I mean, didn't anyone else automatically make this connection?

I'm sure we'll find out that there's been a bunch of sightings in the Himalayas as well due to Nessie picking up the Yeti in the UFO.

Those ratios are slightly off!! (2, Insightful)

binner1 (516856) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757543)

If you remove all of the United States except for the trailer parks where most sightings occur, I think the US ratio would make Scotland's look like EuroDisney!


I've seen 'em! (2)

quantaman (517394) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757544)

Yup a few times! They always seem to come after I've drunken large quantities of whiskey in a remote place in the wilderness. In fact it seems that the both the frequency of the sightings and the degree of the encounter are directly proportional to the amount of alcohol I've consumed I wonder why...

Ah! the aliens must be studying complex carbon chain based beverages.

New 'The Scotsman' song...? (1)

Mu*puppy (464254) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757548)

Gives a new mental image to the line: Oh lad I don't know where ye been, but I see you won first prize!

And to think, abductees in America seem to only get anal probes...

Something To Ponder (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757557)

One might be inclined to wonder what Slashdot's interest in dismissing UFO sightings is.

(Posted as an AC for a reason.)

Other causes? (1)

afidel (530433) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757560)

Could it be all the spirit's consumed in Scotland that explains these sightings?

I, like many scientists, am a skeptic (1, Funny)

PhysicsGenius (565228) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757561)

If someone comes to me claiming to have cheap land in Florida, I insist on flying down and checking it out. When someone says they have written a great program that they are giving away for free, I look askance.

However, I think that the skeptical nickel has already been spent on UFO's. We are beyond the point where we should be doubting basic facts like the existence of these objects and we should instead be concentrating on figuring out what they are and what the occupants want with us.

Many abductees speak of messages of peace but these are strangely juxtaposed with rough treatment in the area of the rectum. Could it be that these are interstellar proponents of Open Source software, here to talk of love but then commit rape? I think the chances are good.

As a famous song's last line says, (2)

Apuleius (6901) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757562)

"Well, lad, I don't know where you've been,
but the aliens gave you first prize."

Belief in the Irrational (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757565)

It would be interesting to know how many people who don't believe in UFOs believe in virgin births and crucified rabbis rising from the dead.

not a single UFO spotted from Vatican City? (1)

uncledrax (112438) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757579)

Geez.. if so.. then Vatican city would have a whopping 2.27... UFOs per Sq Km.. certainly an unbeatable density by any other nation!

Numbers based on MapQuest atlas.. Vatican City == .44 sq. KM
On a side note.. MapQuest also lists Vatican City has having a 100% Lit. rate..

more aliens near the poles (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3757584)

The Nothern Lights (Aurora Borealis) are more frequently visible in the higher latitudes; thus the Scots' higher number of UFO "sightings"?

Oh dear (5, Interesting)

Rogerborg (306625) | more than 12 years ago | (#3757588)

I live not far from Bonnybridge. I wouldn't call it the arsehole of the universe, because arseholes have a use. Bonnybridge is a classic oversized-small-town, i.e. crammed full of disillusioned young people with nothing to do. UFO spotting is pretty much the only thing to do there of an evening that doesn't involve pointy implements or GTA (the Live Action version).

Note the military airlanes, note the undulating foggy roads, note that UFO sighting go up after firework displays. It's pretty much a local game now, with people playing along and making up more and more outrageous claims. And note also the ulterior commercial motive: a (dear god) theme park [] .

I'm picturing the pitch now: "Come to Bonnybridge, home of surly teenagers and desparate hollow eyed single mothers. Taste the delights of warm Irn Bru [] and soggy chippies [] . A free stabbing with every ticket!"

Shudder. Nothing to see here. Move along. For your own good, move along.

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