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Cert Slamming, or, Desperate Companies Behaving Badly

chrisd posted more than 12 years ago | from the must-suck-to-suck dept.

The Internet 186

the special sauce writes "A few months back, our customers (we run a regional ISP) started receiving deceptive domain renewal notices from Verisign and Verisign partners such as Interland. A couple of our customers temporarily lost their domains in the process as the registrant, contact information and hosting company was all changed. Yesterday, I received an e-mail from a customer. He was forwarding a "reminder" e-mail he had received. It was an SSL certificate "renewal" notice from a UK company, Comodo. It instructed him to "upgrade" his current certificate (issued by Equifax) before it expired." More information on this charming practice follows...the special sauce Continues: "For those who don't know, Equifax was just bought out by GeoTrust, who offers a QuickSSL product. Comodo's e-mail was advertising an "InstantSSL" product, which I myself mistook for the GeoTrust product on first reading the e-mail. When I realized my mistake, I contacted Comodo and inquired as to their relationships with Equifax and GeoTrust and how they came by my customer's information. The response: "We have no relationship with Equifax or GeoTrust. The information on a certificate is public information which we have used to inform this company that they have an option when they come to buy their certificate."

My interpretation: Comodo is harvesting contact information from certificates in bad faith, to market a competing product. Furthermore, I think they have targeted Equifax customers because the company was just bought out. In any buyout, confusion exists as to the "new" company's identity. I think they are offering a product whose name is confusing similar to a GeoTrust's product. The language in their e-mail does everything possible to obfuscate the fact that they are not affiliated with Equifax, encouraging customers to "renew" and "upgrade" their certificates. In reality, if my customer had clicked the links in the e-mail, he would have been purchasing a new certificate from a company with which he had no previous relationship.

So I ask, is this not cert slamming? I don't expect this to be as big a problem as Verisign's domain slamming: we simply host less certificates than domains so it is easier to warn all of our customers with secured web sites. Nevertheless, I've reported the practice to the FTC."

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FP (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947715)

DTABN

Death to all black niggers.

Thanks!

-klerck

Death to all white niggers! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947779)

Fuck slim shady

Re:FP (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948006)

You're so sad, klerck. So very sad.

Now just burn the building down and be done with it.

Certs? (-1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947718)

Certs suck. Altoids are much better!

Recent case (2, Interesting)

essdodson (466448) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947724)

There was a recent ruling against Verisign for this activity. Because of their deceptive mailings I will _NEVER_ consider using them as my registrar.

Re:Recent case (3, Interesting)

uncoveror (570620) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947841)

I got those notices myself for Uncoveror.com, uncoverer.com, and dontbuycds.org, but my e-mail from GoDaddy warning me that they are bogus came first, and I was not fooled. I hope everyone behind this scam goes to the slammer, and finds out several times per day why it's called that.

Slamming? (3, Informative)

doc_traig (453913) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947728)


Don't customers have to have their service provider actually changed (w/o authorization) for the practice to be considered slamming?

I mean, what's described here is disgusting, but I don't know that the terminology fits.

- DDT

Wha...? (2)

phyxeld (558628) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948222)

The supposedly deceptive letter linked doesn't seem too deceptive to me. To quote:
So why not upgrade your Certificate with Comodo and join our many customers,
including the US Government and some of the world's largest organisations.
This is obnoxious spam, but it's not nearly as bad as it's being made to sound.

Re: Cert spamming... (0, Redundant)

corey_lawson (562933) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947730)

At least they aren't invalidating your certification. What they have done is not much different really than other net trolls who do nothing but suck email addresses from websites and Usenet posts. How many junk mail adverts have you gotten that try to look like: a federal government check (i.e., tax refund) certified US mail (credit card adverts) etc.?

Re: Cert spamming... (2)

Tri0de (182282) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947753)

Well, once you OPEN one of the psuedo-offical enevlopes you can usually figure out it's just an ad, the offical looking stuff is just to get you to open it (although those 'checks' are a rip). But this, from what I have seen, looks like an actual renewal notice, much more sleazy IMHO.

So, wait... (5, Funny)

Mike Schiraldi (18296) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947734)

What exactly does this story have to do with VeriSign?

If we're going to start working slams against companies we don't like into unrelated stories, we should at least cover all the bases by saying something tangential about Microsoft or an RIAA member while we're at it.

Re:So, wait... (3, Informative)

sylvester (98418) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947751)

What exactly does this story have to do with VeriSign?

This. [slashdot.org] I'll refrain from snide comments. :-)

-Rob

Re:So, wait... (2)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947802)

I'll refrain from snide comments.

That's probably for the best, because you would just be more wrong. Verisign was sending out deceptive notices. There is NOTHING deceptive about this. It's just a simple advertisement.

renewal and upgrade (2)

phriedom (561200) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947861)

Don't you think that calling their offering a RENEWAL is deceptive? It is a new and different certificate from the one that is expiring. It is not a renewal, it is a replacement.

Re:renewal and upgrade (3, Informative)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947890)

Don't you think that calling their offering a RENEWAL is deceptive?

Let's review the wording:

"Did you know that your current SSL Certificate protecting [customer domain] will expire in only 60 days? "Before you renew please read the following important information from Comodo. "We offer SSL certificates that provide;"

Note the "BEFORE you renew". Note the "We offer". Note that a list of services follows this, along with pricing. Please explain how this can be interpreted as a renewal notice coming from your certificate authority.

As for the "upgrade", I certainly would consider it an upgrade of service to pay only $49 rather than the rip-off $1000 that Verisign charges.

Re:renewal and upgrade (2)

phriedom (561200) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948039)

Lets review the rest of the wording:

1 year renewal ($49):
2 year renewal ($89):
3 year renewal ($125):

If you renew now with Comodo we will extend the lifetime of your new Certificate by 60 days at no extra cost - allowing you to begin using your upgraded Certificate immediately.


What they are selling is not an renewal nor an upgrade of the current certification. It is a new certificate. I understand your arguement about the meaning of "upgrade", but I still think it is deceptive. If they were trying to be up front about what they are selling you, then they would say something like "Instead of renewing your old certificate before it expires, you should buy a new, better certificate from us. Its a better deal and we promise you won't regret it." But they don't, they make an ambiguous pitch.

Re:renewal and upgrade (2)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948146)

I think you're being a little over critical of the wording. We can debate the exact meaning of "upgrade" or what word might be better, but the overall point is whether this e-mail can be misinterpreted as a renewal notice from your current certificate provider. And I don't think there is any chance of that.

In fact, that's not even the overall question. The pertinent question is whether there is any deliberate attempt at deception, and I think that's even harder to make the claim. If they are trying to deceive people, then it's pretty damn piss-poor job of it.

Re:So, wait... (2)

DarkZero (516460) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947760)

Verisign started the trend and provided a similar case. Thus, including them as an example of what's going on provides a nice context for the story.

Go Daddy and less Spam (1)

RumGunner (457733) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947736)

I switched from one of the big evil registar companys to Go Daddy [godaddy.com] and I've gotten far less of this sort of spam.

Re:Go Daddy and less Spam (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947810)

GoDaddy spams people as well - I've made a filter to keep my Pop3 mailbox clean of their garbage advertising.

Verisign... (1)

moronic1 (162493) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947738)

sure verisign doesn't have a stake in Comodo? heh..

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y15D8i0oiD Post #808

Brilliant (n/t) (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948003)

IF I EVER MEET YOU, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!

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Verisign doesnt care (5, Interesting)

www.sorehands.com (142825) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947746)

Verisign doesnt care, why should anyone else?

Verisign only complains if anything takes money from them. If they don't lose money, they don't care.

I spoke with a person at Verisign about an obvously false whois registration, that belongs to a spammer. This clearly violates ICANN rules, but Verisign does not want to hear it.

Re:Verisign doesnt care (1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947833)

Do you even know what you're talking about? I worked for Verisign for a couple of years and saw a totally different picture. Verisign does alot of work for the internet community. They pump millions each year into investigating violations into the ICANN rules. The problem is that the problem is that rule breaking has become to widespread for them to tackle every situation. The system is flawed, but good companies like Verisign recieve the blame. I suggest you actually look into the situation before you start making accusations at a single company.

nice. (2)

Rev.LoveJoy (136856) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947897)

Wow.

So Mr. Coward worked for VeriSign? This explains the penis bird and the goat trolling.

- RLJ

Re:Verisign doesnt care (2, Offtopic)

1010011010 (53039) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948161)


Verisign is not "a good company." It is, other than one particular tow-truck company, the worst company I have ever done business with, or had to deal with in any other way. Over that last six years, I have never had what I would call a good experience with them. Each and every one has been annoying, agonizing, and more time-consuming than necessary.

I don't care what your internal view of the company was like. From the outside -- which is what counts to us consumers -- Verisign and Network "Solutions" suck. There is no two ways about it.

Of course it is. (5, Insightful)

FreeLinux (555387) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947765)

Sure it's Cert slamming. There's no doubt about that. The problem is though, that to date there is no law against it. That's right, perfectly legal. For example I have on my desk a letter from "The Admiistrative Office of RPR/OFV Records Division". It looks vaguely like something from the IRS, certainly it is from some government agency. When I open it, it looks like a check for $1600 and a ticket for a cruise. Of course, it is all a bogus marketing scam. Probably trying to sell time shares. It's totally and intentionally misleading but, at the same time it is still legal.

Furthermore I wouldn't look for a law against it any time soon. Things like certificates and how they work are a bit on the technical side, at least for our poor overworked legislators. They have a lot of catching up to do and are currently bogged down trying to stop the MP3 swappers from being the scurge of humanity that they are.

Re:Of course it is. (1)

Golias (176380) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947926)

The problem is though, that to date there is no law against it.

Does every new kind of fraud require a new law? Isn't it enough to say that they are deceiving consumers and shut them down?

These sorts of scams look to me something for enforcement agents and courts to worry about, not lawmakers.

Re:Of course it is. (1)

lobsterGun (415085) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948074)

Exactly what kind of fraud is being commited here?

All they did was to offer their services as a cert provider. They never claimed anyting untrue. Heck, their letter actually sounds down right friendly... but you would know that if you had read the letter.

Re:Of course it is. (2)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947958)

Sure it's Cert slamming. There's no doubt about that.

Did you actually read the letter? Please quote me the passages that could be misinterpreted as anything other than an advertisement.

Re:Of course it is. (2)

quantaman (517394) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948001)

"The Admiistrative Office of RPR/OFV Records Division"

Usually I decide if they misspell "Administrative" it's probably a scam. Come to think of it that would sure explain of a lot of stories on slashdot...

Re:Of course it is. (1)

Paradise Pete (33184) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948045)

Sure it's Cert slamming. There's no doubt about that.

Yes there is. There's lots of doubt about it. It's not slamming at all. Weasely, perhaps, but not slamming.

While we are on the subject (1)

Myuu (529245) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947768)

I really think that whois records should be kept more private to stop things like this.

What pisses me off is that I get SPAM snailmail from companies that get my address off my whois.

I have gotten numerous emails from companies doing the same thing.

Unfornutately it is legal because they have a size 5 disclaimer at the bottom

Not related to Verisign at all (3, Informative)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947776)

While I don't condone the spam advertising methods here, this is NOT comparable to Versign's shady practices. Verisign was sending out notices that tried to make people believe they were renewing their domains, but were actually switching providers.

There is no deception here. It's a simple advertisement asking you to switch.

Nothing to see here.

No switch mentioned. (2, Insightful)

uberdave (526529) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948078)

There is no deception here. It's a simple advertisement asking you to switch.

The words renew, remind, upgrade, and expire (or variants thereof) occur 15 times

The words switch, transfer, move (or variants) do not occur.

The word new does occur once, but in relation to the certificate, not the issuer.

Riiiight.. (3, Funny)

iONiUM (530420) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947778)

Verisign partners such as Interland

Is it just me or are these internet companies' names getting more cheesy everyday?
Soon we'll have CutCo, EdgeCom, and the ever waiting CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet joining the leagues of crap companies im sure.

Simpsons law of the Internet! (1)

Wrexs0ul (515885) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947806)

Careful what you say, if you remember the episode correctly Bill Gates may try to buy you out.

-Matt

Re:Riiiight.. (1)

EvilFrog (559066) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947808)

Microsoft already "bought them out".

Re:Riiiight.. (2)

Geekboy(Wizard) (87906) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947860)

"CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet? Buy them out boys!" *Smasing of the Simpsons house ensus.*

-Bill Gates, via the Simpsons

Re:Riiiight.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947944)

Shiiit. Three replies in a row to your clever post by people trying to show the world how cool they are for getting the Simpsons reference.

Okay, okay, you know it was Homer's Internet start-up. We're happy for all of you. Now go out and get lives.

Re:Riiiight.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948181)


There actually is a company called CutCo, and they manufacture fairly high-quality kitchen knives and utensils, and market them through personal sales agents via a marketing firm called Vector. Pretty snazzy!

What about the pre-trusted root cert? (3)

joeflies (529536) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947780)

Anyone know if Comodo's cross-signed with another provider? I dont' see Comodo listed with their own top-level pre-trusted root in Konq 3.0 or Mozilla 1.0, so I sure hope they are cross-signed with someone.
That would be truly unfortunate for the victim to fall for this and end up with a cert that nobody's browser trusts.

Re:What about the pre-trusted root cert? (3, Informative)

Zwack (27039) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947906)

If you take the time to visit their website, you will see that they sign using a Root provided by GlobalSign. A Belgian company who are in Mozilla...

Z.

Cybersquatting (1)

TheKubrix (585297) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947793)

On a related noted, from CNN.com [cnn.com]

pbtttthhhhh (1)

phriedom (561200) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947969)

I'm disappointed that CNN doesn't even list the names it asserts are confusingly similar to corporate websites. But I have to think that the confusing similarity shouldn't matter in this case. IMHO, this IS a free speech issue, as I think that this man's political commentary that relates directly to the domain names in question SHOULD be considered a valid interest in the domain name.

This is nothing new! (4, Informative)

Wrexs0ul (515885) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947795)

Comodo is a spam-laden organization. I run a web hosting and network management firm in Edmonton and we've received countless offers for "CHEAP SSL" and other services from Comodo!

It's been thoroughly discussed in other location such as WebHostingTalk.com which I suggest anyone interested in pursuing a Comodo service look at first. These guys actually responded in the forum with a nice show that they don't actually care who they spam provided it makes a buck.

Sincerely,

-Matt

Re:This is nothing new! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947844)

is spam-laden bin laden's brother?

Re:This is nothing new! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948151)

news.admin.net-abuse.sightings [admin.net-....sightings] has also reported Comodo spam. Checking Google's archive is always a good idea.

Domain Registry of Europe are slammers too (1)

jdesbonnet (22) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947797)

Beware of con letters from "Domain Registry of
Europe" (based in UK). They are trying the same
scam as Verisign.

Why this is not cert slamming (4, Insightful)

pongo000 (97357) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947803)

"Slamming" is generally recognized as the process of subscribing a user to a new product or service without their express permission. Sounds to me like Comodo is simply taking advantage of publicly-available information to market their own product. Since when is this a crime? Here are some other examples of companies using public information to market their own products:
  • A company uses publicly-available vehicle registration information to pitch extended warranties.
  • A tax company uses public appraisal tax rolls to offer their assistance in filing appraisal appeals.
  • A company sends a homeowner a form and fee request to file a homestead exemption, again using information from public tax rolls.
  • An insurance company sends a "reminder" about homeowner insurance renewal, using information publicly available in some states (usually loan information).
  • A doctor's office uses publicly-available information to notify a pilot that it's time for he/she to renew their medical certificate.
In all these cases, companies are pitching their wares using public information, knowing full well that a small percentage of the population will choose not to check the details. Exploitive? Maybe...but certainly not illegal. And it can't even remotely be considered slamming.

It even looks like Comodo was very straightforward with you when you requested additional information. I see no attempt by Comodo to obfuscate their purpose.

Bingo... (3, Interesting)

Rev.LoveJoy (136856) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947828)

You're right on. This is simply more slimy marketing tactics from companies with bombing market shares.

I cannot even count the number of bogus faxes / emails I have received telling me one of my domains (or some clever spelling thereof) is about to expire.

Gee, marketing people are creepy slimeballs. I'm stunned. No. Really.

Cheers,
-- RLJ

Re:Why this is not cert slamming (1)

DanEsparza (208103) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947893)

In all these cases, companies are pitching their wares using public information, knowing full well that a small percentage of the population will choose not to check the details. Exploitive? Maybe...but certainly not illegal. And it can't even remotely be considered slamming.

I completely agree! And what you didn't point out (enough, I think) is that they had the CHOICE to read the email, the CHOICE to examine whether or not this was a good purchase decision, the CHOICE to get further information from Comodo (and Comodo made a good CHOICE by being honest), and the CHOICE to purchase the cert from Comodo, or any other company for that matter.

Nevertheless, I've reported the practice to the FTC."

This is exactly what's wrong with the Internet, at this point (IMHO). People are too used to government stepping in and 'protecting' them from 'overpowering' capitalist companies. ("Oh no -- look away, the SSL cert is too inviting ... don't stare directly at the cert!")

Also, what happens if this was an overseas company? Who are you going to cry to then? Interpol?

Give me a break -- Comodo is ingenius. I'm kicking myself for not starting up a company that sells certs and doing the same thing before they did. I'd be willing to bet that more folks will take advantage of this type of public information as they realize that Comodo and other companies are making a killing by 'out foxing' the competition.

OT: Your Sig (1)

Amazing Quantum Man (458715) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947960)

Who died and made ICANN boss?

Jon Postel, who is probably spinning in his grave.

Note to moderators: Self modded down (no score +1) as OT.

Re:Why this is not cert slamming (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947986)

I agree that this isn't "slamming" but I do think that calling it a RENEWAL is misleading.

Re:Why this is not cert slamming (2)

Snafoo (38566) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947990)

Wow. That explains why so much of
the product I endure at poetry-slamming
night is so godawful - I've been signed up as a member of the audience without my express permission!

Everything is clear now. Thanks, Slashdot!

So can I use my list of UUnet customers? (2)

Skapare (16644) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948005)

So can I use my list of UUnet customers to market to them network connectivity from a company not entering into bankruptcy? It is public information.

Re:Why this is not cert slamming (2)

BrookHarty (9119) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948012)

Well... It is Slamming if the email/form/letter looks like you're renewing an existing service with your current provider, even if the fine print states its switching service.

Basically it comes down to "Permission", if your tricked, did you give permission? Phone companies will ask you to say, "I want to switch service" and record it. Do you see this level of candidness, that the customer is 100% clear on his actions? Nope.

Obfuscation by obscurity (3, Insightful)

Darth_brooks (180756) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948106)

"We have no relationship with Equifax or GeoTrust. The information on a certificate is public information which we have used to inform this company that they have an option when they come to buy their certificate."

They aren't trying to 'inform', they're hard selling, in bad faith. They're misleading consumers into thinking there is no alternative. It's opportunistic, and pretty close to criminal.

An insurance company sends a "reminder" about homeowner insurance renewal, using information publicly available in some states (usually loan information).

I get notices from insurance agencies, credit card companies and any number of other bulk mailers. The difference is, they are out in the open about wanting to sell me a product i don't have, or informing me i have an alternative to the products i may already be using.

These companies are playing dumb. "aww shucks, you mean folks didn't realize they didn't HAVE to re-up with us? well, gosh golly, i guess we'll be more careful next time." A mailing could just as easily be sent out that says "we noticed that your domain name / cert is about to expire. Please consider us as an alternative when you renew." That'd be a company hawking their wares. What they're doing now is a clearly deceptive business practice. Slamming just happens to be the closest description.

Re:Why this is not cert slamming (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948122)

In any of those cases, if the marketer passed themselves off as a completely different organization (because you've already done business with them), that's fraud. It's not slamming because it doesn't happen without your involvement (just without your informed consent).

Agree. Spam, but not "slamming" or a big deal. (3, Informative)

Sean Clifford (322444) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948217)

I think they are offering a product whose name is confusing similar to a GeoTrust's product. The language in their e-mail does everything possible to obfuscate the fact that they are not affiliated with Equifax, encouraging customers to "renew" and "upgrade" their certificates.

IANAL. Now, of course you have to consider that it's up to a court to determine whether a servicemark or trademark is being infringed upon, but "confusingly similar" certainly meets the standard for infringement. However, the special sauce got a different reading than I did - no doubt coloured by the fact that Comodo [brings visions of flushing to mind] spammed his customers for competing (and probably lame) products. I'd be pissed too.

However, my reading of the spam was that it's pretty straightforward. There's obsfucation, but it's arguable that they consider their product an "upgrade" in much the same way Microsoft salesdrones consider W2K Server an "upgrade" to your favorite Unix/Linux distro. Companies often offer "renewals" or "competitive upgrades" to entice users to switch from Brand X.

IMHO, what Verisign has done in its spam "renewal" campaign is fraudulent. In a related anecdote, I've found it next to impossible to move my domains to another registrar; hell, I've had problems just moving them between hosting services.

But, back to the topic, Comodo [flush] ain't slamming, I've experienced that joy on two occasions. BellSouth got a new Access app that had a *required* a selection from a lookup table of long distance providers. The default at the time was AT&T. I went from *no long distance* (I *PAID* a monthly fee for disabling long distance. Not that it mattered, because BellSouth was perfectly happy to sign me up with AT&T for my non-existent long-distance service at a $15 a month fee. I still haven't found out how much they got for it, but after repeated phone calls and legal threats I enjoyed 8 months of free local phone service to settle the matter. Of course, that was after about 8 weeks of haranguing dozens of people - your mileage may vary.

Second was when I ordered DirecTV DSL for one of my company's East Texas offices. As in most places, the local Bell does the actual activation - molasses slow for competitors' customers, blazing quick (in comparison) for Bell customers. But I signed up for DirecTV DSL and SouthWestern Bell *canceled* that work order, telling DirecTV DSL that we'd already signed up with SouthWestern Bell; a blatant lie. Still dealing with that one.

Difference (1, Insightful)

MattCohn.com (555899) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947815)

I read both notices and it seems like the VeriSign one was much more confusing then the one from Comondo.

In the VeriSign renewal form, it had no indication that they were not your registar to begin with. However in the Comondo email it had wording such as...

why not upgrade your Certificate with Comodo and join our many customers

That made it clear to me that this wasn't sent to a current customer of Comondo.

Office of fair trading (5, Informative)

sh0rtie (455432) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947817)


If this company is UK based i would advise you to report them to the Office of fair trading [oft.gov.uk] and the UK Trading Standards [tradingstandards.gov.uk] , these kinds of practices are despicable and the OFT and TS do not take kindly to this sort of behaviour

OK, but who makes the CSR? (3)

Jacco de Leeuw (4646) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947838)

So Comodo spams website owners. As a result, the website owners might get tricked into buying this cert "renewal".

But who makes the Certificate Signing Request for website owners? In most cases the company hosting the web site. (Unless it's co-location).

I expect competent tech support personnel to filter out these bogus certificate renewals immediately.

See Also: Australia and New Zealand (4, Informative)

Audent (35893) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947843)

Yup, even in the southern hemisphere it's happening.
Internet Name Group (no URL any more that I can find) and Internet Registry have both been trying it on in Ausralia and New Zealand. The ACCC (commerce department in Aus) and the Commerce Commission in NZ are both keeping an eye on the matter.
Stories on the subject here:
http://www.idg.net.nz/webhome.nsf/nl/D6AC0A 53F05EC FC6CC256ABF00090DE4

and here:

http://www.idg.net.nz/webhome.nsf/nl/A8539751DEE A2 77DCC256BC9000CA1D2

apologies for the evil links... goddam Notes.

random (0, Offtopic)

labratuk (204918) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947846)

test post, please ignore.

LOVELY SNOT! WONDERFUL SNOT! by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947867)

By J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.4 $

CmdrTaco: You sit here, dear.

CowboiKneel: All right.

CmdrTaco (to Waitress): Morning!

Waitress: Morning!

CmdrTaco: Well, whatve you got?

Waitress: Well, theres egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and snot [slashdot.org] ; egg, bacon and snot; egg, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, bacon, sausage, and snot [slashdot.org] ; snot, egg, snot, snot, bacon, and snot; snot, sausage, snot, snot, bacon, snot, tomato, and snot [slashdot.org] ;

Slashdot Crew (starting to chant): Snot, snot, snot, snot

Waitress: Snot, snot, snot [slashdot.org] , egg, and snot; snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, baked beans, snot, snot, snot

Slashdot Crew (singing): Snot! Lovely snot [slashdot.org] ! Lovely snot [slashdot.org] !

Waitress: or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.

CowboiKneel: Have you got anything without snot [slashdot.org] ?

Waitress: Well, theres snot [slashdot.org] , egg, sausage, and snot, thats not got much snot in it.

CowboiKneel: I dont want any snot!

CmdrTaco: Why cant he have egg, bacon, snot [slashdot.org] , and sausage?

CowboiKneel: Thats got snot [slashdot.org] in it!

CmdrTaco: Hasnt got as much snot in it as snot, egg, sausage, and snot, has it?

Slashdot Crew: Snot, snot, snot, snot [slashdot.org] ! (crescendo through next few lines)

CowboiKneel: Could you do the egg, bacon, snot [slashdot.org] , and sausage without the snot then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

CowboiKneel: What do you mean Urgghh? I dont like snot [slashdot.org] !

Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!

Waitress: Shut up!

Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot [slashdot.org] ! Wonderful snot [slashdot.org] !

Waitress: Shut up! (Slashdot Crew stops) Bloody Slashdot fags! You cant have egg, bacon, snot and sausage without the snot.

CowboiKneel (shrieks): I dont like snot [slashdot.org] !

CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, dont cause a fuss. Ill have your snot [slashdot.org] . I love it. Im having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot [slashdot.org] !

Slashdot Crew (singing): Snot, snot, snot, snot [slashdot.org] . Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

CmdrTaco: Well could I have his snot [slashdot.org] instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean snot [slashdot.org] , snot, snot, snot [slashdot.org] , snot, snot [slashdot.org]

Slashdot Crew (singing elaborately): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot! Snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot, snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot snot. Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Snot, snot, snot, snot [slashdot.org] !



- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02

17EoOnFPSK Post #810

Great news for Linux users! (+5, Informative) (-1)

JismTroll (588456) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947870)

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ [slashdot.org]
By J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org], $Revision: 1.17 $
[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help [adequacy.org] before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?
You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda [cmdrtaco.net], owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org [slashdot.org]. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies [yahoo.com], and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pedophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.
This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software [yahoo.com]. Mr. Malda's Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells [sonymusic.com] are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.
I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?
Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face [go.com], dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.
And if thats not bad enough
A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew [bastardgenres.com]. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [aol.com], and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.
To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, hemight leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention [amazon.com]. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known uberfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his monolithic kernel [yahoo.com]; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware [spectacle.org] freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?
After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had alot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership [slashdot.org] about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy [goatse.cx]. Dont let it be you!
Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pedophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pedophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching [aol.com] with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass [microsoft.com] onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.
Not content with being a pedophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus [yahoo.com]. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?
Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.
________________________________________

* The URL of this document is
* Previous revisions are publicly available at

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org] Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

Screw Verisign (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947871)

I've moved all my domains off of Veri$ign, screw them all. godaddy.com has been working out well.

Trust (5, Insightful)

flonker (526111) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947873)

SSL and crypto in general is all about trust. Would you trust someone who engages in deceptive marketing? Then again, so does Verisign, with their domain stuff. Are there any good certificate issuers?

Taco-snotting is dying by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947885)

Netcraft has confirmed: Taco-snotting is dying.

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Taco-snotting community when recently IDC confirmed that Taco-snotting accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all homosexual acts. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Taco-snotting has lost more fag practitioners, this news serves to reinforce what weve known all along. Taco-snotting faggots are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Faggot World comprehensive snotting test.

You dont need to be a Katz to predict Taco-snottings future. The handwriting is on the wall: Taco-snotting faces a bleak future. In fact there wont be any future at all for Taco-snotting because Taco-snotting is dying. Things are looking very bad for Taco-snotting. As many of us are already aware, Taco-snotting continues to lose faggotshare. White ink flows like a river of bubbly, thick jizz. The circle-snot is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core snotters.

Lets keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

Circle-snotting leader Jeff Homos Masterbates states that there are 7000 snotters of the circle-snot. How many users of anal snot are there? Lets see. The number of circle-snotting versus anal snot posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 anal snot users. SnotOS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of anal snot posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of SnotOS. A recent article put the circle-snot at about 80 percent of the Taco-snotting market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 circle-snot users. This is consistent with the number of circle-snot Usenet posts.

Due to the troubles of CowboiKneels walnuts, abysmal sales and so on, the circle-snot went out of business and was taken over by SNOTi who sell another troubled Taco-snot. Now SNOTi is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another gay whorehouse.

All major surveys show that Taco-snotting has steadily declined in faggotshare. Taco-snotting is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Taco-snotting is to survive at all it will be among heterosexual hobbyist dabblers. Taco-snotting continues to decay. Nothing short of a jizz-soaked miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Taco-snotting is dead.

Fact: Taco-snotting is dead.

- posted by poopbot: because we're all crapflooders at heart

pQGOI0July Post #811

"Harvesting" isn't the best term to call this... (1)

Nick Driver (238034) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947889)

My interpretation: Comodo is harvesting contact information from certificates in bad faith

The term "harvesting" seems to imply that they did honest work (like a farmer) to get to the position where they could then reap the rewards. May I suggest that the term "strip mining" might be more accurately descriptive of what's going on here?

Re:"Harvesting" isn't the best term to call this.. (3, Informative)

silentbozo (542534) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947917)

I personally like the term "poaching" when referring to these types of practices. Strip mining is nasty, but not necessarily illegal (though it should be.) Poaching, by the very definition [dictionary.com] is:
To take or appropriate something unfairly or illegally.
I can't think of a better way of describing this type of information THEFT, for the gain of the THIEF.

Re:"Harvesting" isn't the best term to call this.. (1)

Nick Driver (238034) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947940)

That'll work.

Re:"Harvesting" isn't the best term to call this.. (1)

newt_sd (443682) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947989)

I prefer goatse"ing" the general public

We need beneficiary oriented spam laws (4, Interesting)

Animats (122034) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947894)

It's becoming clear that we need spam laws which provide for a penalty against the beneficiary of a spam, even if they did not originate it. An acceptable defense would be that the beneficiary had taken legal action against the spammer. That would make third-party spam actionable. (It may be, anyway, but it's a bigger legal battle under current law. I've been talking to an an anti-spam lawyer, and he's unwilling to take on Verisign because they have too much money.)

Re:We need beneficiary oriented spam laws (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948068)

How? If any of a number of spammers joe-jobs my site or my resume to a few million people (because I complained to their ISP about spamming me) through an open relay in East Fnordistan with no logs, what sort of "legal action" against an untraceable sender would establish that I didn't consent to the spamvertising? What if I can't afford a lawyer?

Funny jokes by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947900)

Whats black, blue and green and doesnt like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
Whats the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
Whats wrong, honey?
Im leaving you! I just found out youre a pdophile!
Pdophile? Why, thats a pretty big word for a ten year-old.
How can you tell when your sisters on her period?
When your dads dick tastes like blood!
Two pdophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, Excuse me, youre in my son.
What is the sickest sound you hear when fucking a nine year-old?
Her hips snapping!
What is the best sound you hear when fucking a 13 year-old?
Her hips snapping!
Whats 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the mans seven year-old son tell that his dad had fucked his eight year-old sister? His dads weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?
Holmes replies, Elementary, my dear Watson.
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, My, how presumptuous of you. I said, Presumptuous? Thats a big word for a ten year-old.
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, Damn! Id love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!
Second guy says, Yuck! Youre a sick bastard!
First guy says, Whatre you? A fag?
A kindergarten teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, My dad is dead.
The teacher says, Thats terribile, but what did he do before he died?
Little Johnny replies, He turned blue and shit all over himself!
A guy calls in sick to work.
Whats wrong? asks the boss.
Im sick, the guy replies.
You sound all right.
No, Im really sick. Believe me.
Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You cant be that sick!
Dude, I just banged my sister. Dont tell me Im not sick.
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, Sweetheart, youre going to get hair on your Twinkie.
I know, the little girl replied. Im gonna get tits, too.
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: These woods sure are spooky!
Man: You think youre scared, Ive gotta walk out of here alone.
Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jacksons new book, The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing?
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I dont cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I dont kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You cant fuck a table.
Q: Whats special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?
A: An orgy!
Q: Whats better than three 14 year-olds?
A: 14 three year-olds.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a babys crib?
A: A pdophiles ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: Theyre fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead babys jaw?
A: Deep throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: Whats the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead babys hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: Whats worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
Whats better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.

- posted by poopbot: news for turds, stuff that splatters

V5CZ0UYsyy Post #812

Pink page of death!! by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947913)

Either your network or ip address has been banned from this site

due to script flooding that originated from your network or ip address -- or this IP might have been used to post comments designed to break web browser rendering. If you feel that this is unwarranted, feel free to include your IP address (1.2.3.4) in the subject of an email, and we will examine why there is a ban. If you fail to include the IP address (again, in the Subject!), then your message will be deleted and ignored. I mean come on, we're good, we're not psychic.
Since you can't read the FAQ because you're banned, here's the relevant portion:

Why is my IP banned?
 Perhaps you are running some sort of program that loaded thousands of Slashdot Pages. We have limited resources here and are fairly protective of them. We need to make sure that everyone shares. If your IP loads thousands of pages in a day, you will likely be banned. Please note that many proxy servers load large quantities of pages, but we can usually distinguish between proxy servers being used by humans, and IPs running software that is hammering our servers.

 Your IP might have been used to perform some sort of denial of service attack against Slashdot. These range from simple programs that just load a lot of pages, to programs that attempt to coordinate an avalanche of posts in the forums (often through misconfigured "Open Relay" proxy servers).

 You might be using a proxy server that is also being used by another person who did something from the above list. You should have your proxy server administrator contact us.

 Your IP might have been used to post comments designed to break web browser rendering.

Answered by: CmdrTaco
Last Modified: 7/02/02

How do I get an IP Unbanned?
Email banned@slashdot.org. Make sure to include the IP in question, and any other pertinent information. If you are connecting through a proxy server, you might need to have your proxy server's admin contact us instead of you.

Answered by: CmdrTaco
Last Modified: 3/26/02

- posted by poopbot: for all your crapflooding needs

4a5kUlV1OW Post #813

My Lunix Experience by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947924)

I've been using home computers since the VIC-20 and I've come to dread and fear the possibility of being forced to adopt Linux as a result of Microsoft's heavy-handedness. After being hyped by friends and co-workers about the pleasures of this great and fantastic open-source operating system, I attempted to load Linux, not once but four times on three year old PC that was previously running Win98.

The first time took me about an hour to realize that I had to reformat the hard disk and wipe out years worth of work (after backing it up on CD-R). Then I had to figure that the only way to get the Linux CD to actually start loading was to boot it from the CD by modifying the CMOS settings as the PC was starting up. A simple line suggesting this that could have been printed on the CD would have saved a lot of time!

After loading a whole gigabyte of stuff onto the empty hard drive (do I really need to load 50 megabytes of TeX fonts when I'm just trying to get a demo of Linux????), the entire process halted when the floppy disk drive didn't respond. The Linux loader demanded a working floppy backup of some obscure file be made and since I've never used the floppy drive, I didn't know that it didn't work. The installation process locked up and I had to reboot.

The reboot left me in UNIX hell: a black screen half filled with incomprehensible characters with a single flashing dollar sign as the only indication that the entire PC was still working. No matter what I typed or tried (simple intutitve commands like 'help' 'review' 'exit' 'restore' 'dir' 'What the fuck is happening?') nothing made any intelligent response except for returning me to the flashing dollar sign. Shit! I'm in Dante's seventh circle of hell for misers. I was forced to reformat the hard drive and reinstall Windows in order to confirm that I still had a working PC.

I bought a new floppy drive that I will never use in order to load this wonderful and fantastic operating system. Reformated the hard drive, reset the CMOS, and loaded a whole gig of worthless junk from the penguin CD. Everything loaded and I made all of the selections for keyboard and mouse ect... The system rebooted and got to the point where it should have started to work and simply stopped. No response to mouse, keypress, or anything. I reloaded Windows (it worked perfectly) and decided to load Linux on my new good computer.

I ended up back bashed back in UNIX hell and having to load Windows and ALL of my programs and files from CD backups, which took hours. I convinced that Linux is some kind of really bad joke or else an 'emperor's new clothes' type of mass hallucination. How can anyone with a pretension of being a computer professional seriously believe or claim that this junk is ready to take on Windows?

- posted by poopbot: news for turds, stuff that splatters

fzu3VN5zbF Post #814

This has been going on for a while... (0)

maikeru (565557) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947929)

I got similar notices from Verisign for domain names as far back as a year ago. Of course, Verisign/NSI sucked anyway, so I had no qualms with immediately changing my service.

Whiny idiots... (-1, Flamebait)

Jim42688 (445645) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947939)

"Slamming" is generally recognized as the process of subscribing a user to a new product or service without their express permission. Sounds to me like Comodo is simply taking advantage of publicly-available information to market their own product. Since when is this a crime? It even looks like Comodo was very straightforward with you when you requested additional information. I see no attempt by Comodo to obfuscate their purpose.

whats public infor whats not (2, Interesting)

linuxislandsucks (461335) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947948)

Correct me if I am wrong but

Registar information was ruled as non public..ie you cannot use for mass mailings through postal office, mass caling telemarketing, and mass emailing..

Would not cert information be on the same plane?

Goatsecxsy by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947955)

To the tune of "Without me", Eminem

Two penis bird guys go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside (2x)
Guess who's back [/] Back again [/] Sllort is back [/] Tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back..

I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to read Michael no more
They want Sllort, cause Katz is a whore *duh* [/] Well if you want Sllort, this is what it'll get ya
A little bit of Troll mixed up with some professa [/] Don't mod this up they're just trying to test ya
It'll get you banned forever by the mastah [/] on the plantation, but I'm not co-operating
Been banned since 2000 for writing and creating (hey!) [/] You read it this far, now stop moderating
Cause I'm back, I'm on the keys and I'm operating [/] I know that you got a job Ms. Malda
but your husband's porn problem's complicating
So McCarthy won't let me be [/] he IP bans me, so let me see
They try to shut me down but I proxy [/] Cause it feels so empty, without me
So, clickety click, type where you sit
Fuck that, karma whorin dips, nobody gives a shit
Now get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy
Just got a new list of proxies, FUCK YOU JAMIE!

[Chorus:]
Now this looks like a job for me [/] DOWN WITH CAPS LIKE JUNIS KANUNI
Cause we need a little, controversy [/] Cause it feels so empty to agree
I said this looks like a job for me [/] So everybody, try honesty
Cause we need a little, controversy [/] Cause it feels so empty to agree

Little Readers, posting defacement. [/] Embarrassed their parents still rent them their basement.
They get banned just like prisoners helpless [/] 'til someone posts truth in a journal and yells BULLSHIT!

A visionary, is my vision scary? [/] Could it start revolution, pollutin the stories?
A rebel, so just let me revel and gloat [/] in the fact that VA's stock price is looking like GOAT *zero!*
And it's a disaster, such a castastrophe [/] First posts are so fuckin expensive; but Katz is free?
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na [/] *bzzt* Fix your damn DSL turn it on and then I'm gonna
enter in, in the front of your skin like a virus [/] Maybe I'm unkillable, dead like Osirus
Ya I'm infecting, best thing since commenting [/] Intriuging the reader's minds and nesting
*bzzt* Testing, attention please [/] You feel the rage when Michael mentions me?
Here's my journal, you can read it free [/] A nuisance? a prophet? Ya, sounds like me.

[Chorus]

A diskette, a task set, post this cid on that sid, [/] Ask Slashdot: Are You Sofa King We Todd Did?
Jonathon Katz, smokin crack mixed with grass [/] If I ever meet you I will KICK YOUR ASS
And Taco? You can get blown by Timothy [/] You eleven year old molesting fag, join the clergy
You don't know me, you're too dumb, let go [/] It's over, nobody listens to your show
Now let's go, suicide for Signal [/] I'll be there cheering like a cheerleader on speed
Or crystal, method to the masses [/] ever since Slashbots been babblin like jackasses *bray*

Suddenly without the means [/] To bring up the MetaModeration screen?
It's not the servers re-boot-ing [/] It's just you, banned by Slashteam! *hey*
No I wasn't aiming for controversy [/] It just happened when they first banned me
Now I use it to tell others [/] That Slashteam are a bunch of fuckers!
(Hey!) Here's a concept that works [/] Twenty million other people find out you're jerks
But no matter how much you alter what they see [/] It just looks empty without me

[Chorus]
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la / La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

- posted by poopbot: providing truth in a deceitful world

MtyUYsu0rj Post #815

Interesting article on ZDNN about this... (-1, Troll)

Jim42688 (445645) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947956)

On google [216.239.39.100] , so that if they change URL for archiving, people can still access it by Google cache.

Open Source Development HOW-TO by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947965)

Credits: onby

1. Introduction

As everyone knows, Open Source software is the wave of the future. With the market share of GNU/Linux and *BSD increasing every day, interest in Open Source Software is at an all time high.

Developing software within the Open Source model benefits everyone. People can take your code, improve it and then release it back to the community. This cycle continues and leads to the creation of far more stable software than the 'Closed Source' shops can ever hope to create.

So you're itching to create that Doom 3 killer but don't know where to start? Read on!

2. First Steps
The most important thing that any Open Source project needs is a Sourceforge page. There are tens of thousands of successful Open Source projects on Sourceforge; the support you receive here will be invaluable.

OK, so you've registered your Sourceforge project and set the status to '0: Pre-Thinking About It', what's next?

3. Don't Waste Time!

Now you need to set up your SourceForge homepage. Keep it plain and simple - don't use too many HTML tags, just knock something up in VI. Website editors like FrontPage and DreamWeaver just create bloated eye-candy - you need to get your message to the masses!

4. Ask For Help

Since you probably can't program at all you'll need to try and find some people who think they can. If your project is a game you'll probably need an artist too. Ask for help on your new Sourceforge pages. Here is an example to get you started:

"Hi there! Welcom to my SorceForge page! I am planing to create a Fisrt Person Shooter game for Linux that is going to kick Doom 3's ass! I have loads of awesome ideas, like giant robotic spiders! I need some help thouh as I cant program or draw. If you can program or draw the tekstures please get in touch! K thx bye!"

Thousands of talented programmers and artists hang out at Sourceforge ready to devote their time to projects so you should get a team together in no time!

5. The A-Team

So now you have your team together you are ready to change your projects status to '1: Pre-Bickering'. You will need to discuss your ideas with your team mates and see what value they can add to the project. You could use an Instant Messaging program like MSN for this, but since you run Linux you'll have to stick to e-mail.

Don't forget that YOU are in charge! If your team doesn't like the idea of giant robotic spiders just delete them from the project and move on. Someone else can fill their place and this is the beauty of Open Source development. The code might end up a bit messy and the graphics inconsistant - but it's still 'Free as in Speech'!

6. Getting Down To It

Now that you've found a team of right thinking people you're ready to start development. Be prepared for some delays though. Programming is a craft and can take years to learn. Your programmer may be a bit rusty but will probably be writing "hello world" programs after school in no time.

Closed Source games like Doom 3 use the graphics card to do all the hard stuff anyhow, so your programmer will just have to get the NVidia 'API' and it will be plain sailing! Giant robot spiders, here we come!

7. The Outcome

So it's been a few years, you still have no files released or in CVS. Your programmer can't get enough time on the PC because his mother won't let him use it after 8pm. Your artist has run off with a Thai She-Male. Your project is still at '1: Pre-Bickering'...

Congratulations! You now have a successful Open Source project on Sourceforge! Pat yourself on the back, think up another idea and do it all again! See how simple it is?

- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!

KfRSIvpowx Post #816

That "renewal notices" link... (2, Funny)

errxn (108621) | more than 12 years ago | (#3947972)

They went to all the trouble to blur out the customer's address and items on the invoice, and then missed his info in smaller print, just plain as day.

I wonder how this guy feels about that:
Scott Rogers
Cape Cod Computer Wholesalers
P.O. Box 2842
Orleans, MA 02653-6842


Dumbasses.

nice. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947975)

Cactus? [hotandcute.com]

The Troll Polka: UPDATED by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947982)

THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN)
By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25

Is das nicht ein early post? Ja! Das ist mein early post!
Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost? Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost!
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!

Is das post at minus one? Ja! Das ist at minus one!
Is das trolling so much fun? Ja! Das trolling is so fun!
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein big crapflood? Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!
Is it worthless Linux FUD? Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD!
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel? Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!
Is dis nicht his manchode meal? Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll? Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!
Is das nicht ein Goatse hole? Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole!
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys? Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys!
Und are they not Taco's sex toys? Ja! They are Taco's sex toys!
Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread? Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!
Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD? Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD!
Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD! Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene,
Slashdot sucks!

____________________

Change Log:

* Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
* Removed all references to Taco's pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
* Finally think I have goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?

(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02

mc4cwTJEdS Post #817

OPEN SOURCE MISCONCEPTIONS by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3947997)

OPEN SOURCE MISCONCEPTIONS
By Serial Troller

Myth: Open Source is written by heterosexuals.

Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.

Myth: Open Source is written for heterosexuals.

Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.

Myth: Open Source is multicultural.

Fact: Open Source is openly racist.

Myth: Open Source is democratic.

Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source supports terrorism.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.

Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.

Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of political differences.

Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.

* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *

Myth: Open Source programming is a harlmess, healthy activity.

Fact: Open Source programming has been known to lead to massive obesity, violent tendencies with an obsession with handguns, paranoid-delusional ranting, and in severe cases, complete insanity. If anyone you know is thinking about going Open Source, stop them before its too late!

* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *

____________________

2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

- posted by poopbot: for the crapflooder in all of us

qE47LCK7S4 Post #818

"Equifax" was not "bought out" (2, Insightful)

g051051 (71145) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948002)

Just to clarify, Equifax sold just the small part of its business that was concerned with certificate management to GeoTrust. Equifax is still an independent company with lots of other businesses. (Yes, I work for Equifax).

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948008)

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ [slashdot.org]
By J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org], $Revision: 1.16 $
[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as âoeTaco-snotting,â or simply âoesnotting.â Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help [adequacy.org] before it is too late. â"ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself âoeCmdrTacoâ?
You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert âoeCmdrTacoâ Malda [cmdrtaco.net], owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org [slashdot.org]. Actually, itâ(TM)s not a very âoepopularâ site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies [yahoo.com], and other societal rejects and outcasts. Itâ(TM)s also home to one of the worldâ(TM)s largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous âoeSlashdot crew.â
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnâ(TM)t, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyoneâ(TM)s guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youâ(TM)re a potential candidate.
This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacoâ(TM)s code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thatâ(TM)s right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdotâ(TM)s parent corporation, VA Software [yahoo.com]. Mr. Maldaâ(TM)s âoeCommanderâ is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldaâ(TM)s own lubed-up right hand. His âoeTaco bells [sonymusic.com]â are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his âoeTaco sauceâ is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to âoering his Taco bellsâ or âoetaste his gourmet Taco sauce.â
I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as âoeTaco-snottingâ and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a âoecircle-snot.â

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is âoeTaco-snottingâ?
âoeTaco-snottingâ is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacoâ(TM)s face [go.com], dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, âoeTaco-snotting.â
And if thatâ(TM)s not bad enoughâ¦
A âoecircle-snotâ is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew [bastardgenres.com]. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [aol.com], and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum â" spooging their jizz-snot all over each otherâ(TM)s faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyâ(TM)re covered head to toe with their own and each otherâ(TM)s man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each otherâ(TM)s spunk and whip each otherâ(TM)s pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully, but I wouldnâ(TM)t count on it.
To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the âoeWilling to Snotâ checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and heâ(TM)s probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Thereâ(TM)s no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so itâ(TM)s probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacoâ(TM)s sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to âoeWilling to Snot.â Maybe heâ(TM)ll ignore you. Probably not.

I canâ(TM)t stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, hemight leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge⦠oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention [amazon.com]. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some âoegourmet Tacos,â but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his âoeCommanderâ out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm⦠then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, âoeOpen Sauceâ â" man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his âoemonolithic kernel [yahoo.com];â his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their âoenetwork stackâ in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about âoeall those Censorware [spectacle.org] freaks out to get him.â

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?
After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant â" I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Iâ(TM)m just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had alot of built-up spunk in their wads â" I couldâ(TM)ve easily been drowned!

Thatâ(TM)s horrible. Does âoeTaco-snottingâ have anything to do with CmdrTacoâ(TM)s âoespecial tacoâ?
No, thatâ(TM)s a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership [slashdot.org] about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacoâ(TM)s âoespecial tacoâ is. You will be wishing that you hadnâ(TM)t been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his âoespecial taco,â CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his âoeCommanderâ), puts his âoespecial taco sauceâ on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacoâ(TM)s jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacoâ(TM)s nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victimâ(TM)s ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy [goatse.cx]. Donâ(TM)t let it be you!
Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert âoeCmdrTacoâ Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Heâ(TM)s also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnâ(TM)t involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doesâ(TM)t mean heâ(TM)s any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called âoejuicy-douching [aol.com]â with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boyâ(TM)s urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boyâ(TM)s chained, naked bodies. If heâ(TM)s in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass [microsoft.com] onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.
Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arenâ(TM)t enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goatâ(TM)s anus [yahoo.com]. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goatâ(TM)s small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

â¦Are you getting hard writing this?
Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Iâ(TM)m already CmdrTacoâ(TM)s boi toi.
________________________________________

* The URL of this document is
* Previous revisions are publicly available at

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org] Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all heâ(TM)s done to make Slashdot a better place.

- posted by poopbot: providing truth in a deceitful world

Sdkbz6NgMf Post #819

Why FreeBSD is dying by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948015)

The End of FreeBSD

[ed. note: in the following text, former FreeBSD developer Mike Smith gives his reasons for abandoning FreeBSD]

When I stood for election to the FreeBSD core team nearly two years ago, many of you will recall that it was after a long series of debates during which I maintained that too much organisation, too many rules and too much formality would be a bad thing for the project.

Today, as I read the latest discussions on the future of the FreeBSD project, I see the same problem; a few new faces and many of the old going over the same tired arguments and suggesting variations on the same worthless schemes. Frankly I'm sick of it.

FreeBSD used to be fun. It used to be about doing things the right way. It used to be something that you could sink your teeth into when the mundane chores of programming for a living got you down. It was something cool and exciting; a way to spend your spare time on an endeavour you loved that was at the same time wholesome and worthwhile.

It's not anymore. It's about bylaws and committees and reports and milestones, telling others what to do and doing what you're told. It's about who can rant the longest or shout the loudest or mislead the most people into a bloc in order to legitimise doing what they think is best. Individuals notwithstanding, the project as a whole has lost track of where it's going, and has instead become obsessed with process and mechanics.

So I'm leaving core. I don't want to feel like I should be "doing something" about a project that has lost interest in having something done for it. I don't have the energy to fight what has clearly become a losing battle; I have a life to live and a job to keep, and I won't achieve any of the goals I personally consider worthwhile if I remain obligated to care for the project.

Discussion

I'm sure that I've offended some people already; I'm sure that by the time I'm done here, I'll have offended more. If you feel a need to play to the crowd in your replies rather than make a sincere effort to address the problems I'm discussing here, please do us the courtesy of playing your politics openly.

From a technical perspective, the project faces a set of challenges that significantly outstrips our ability to deliver. Some of the resources that we need to address these challenges are tied up in the fruitless metadiscussions that have raged since we made the mistake of electing officers. Others have left in disgust, or been driven out by the culture of abuse and distraction that has grown up since then. More may well remain available to recruitment, but while the project is busy infighting our chances for successful outreach are sorely diminished.

There's no simple solution to this. For the project to move forward, one or the other of the warring philosophies must win out; either the project returns to its laid-back roots and gets on with the work, or it transforms into a super-organised engineering project and executes a brilliant plan to deliver what, ultimately, we all know we want.

Whatever path is chosen, whatever balance is struck, the choosing and the striking are the important parts. The current indecision and endless conflict are incompatible with any sort of progress.

Trying to dissect the above is far beyond the scope of any parting shot, no matter how distended. All I can really ask of you all is to let go of the minutiae for a moment and take a look at the big picture. What is the ultimate goal here? How can we get there with as little overhead as possible? How would you like to be treated by your fellow travellers?

Shouts

To the Slashdot "BSD is dying" crowd - big deal. Death is part of the cycle; take a look at your soft, pallid bodies and consider that right this very moment, parts of you are dying. See? It's not so bad.

To the bulk of the FreeBSD committerbase and the developer community at large - keep your eyes on the real goals. It's when you get distracted by the politickers that they sideline you. The tireless work that you perform keeping the system clean and building is what provides the platform for the obsessives and the prima donnas to have their moments in the sun. In the end, we need you all; in order to go forwards we must first avoid going backwards.

To the paranoid conspiracy theorists - yes, I work for Apple too. No, my resignation wasn't on Steve's direct orders, or in any way related to work I'm doing, may do, may not do, or indeed what was in the tea I had at lunchtime today. It's about real problems that the project faces, real problems that the project has brought upon itself. You can't escape them by inventing excuses about outside influence, the problem stems from within.

To the politically obsessed - give it a break, if you can. No, the project isn't a lemonade stand anymore, but it's not a world-spanning corporate juggernaut either and some of the more grandiose visions going around are in need of a solid dose of reality. Keep it simple, stupid.

To the grandstanders, the prima donnas, and anyone that thinks that they can hold the project to ransom for their own agenda - give it a break, if you can. When the current core were elected, we took a conscious stand against vigorous sanctions, and some of you have exploited that. A new core is going to have to decide whether to repeat this mistake or get tough. I hope they learn from our errors.

Future

I started work on FreeBSD because it was fun. If I'm going to continue, it has to be fun again. There are things I still feel obligated to do, and with any luck I'll find the time to meet those obligations.

However I don't feel an obligation to get involved in the political mess the project is in right now. I tried, I burnt out. I don't feel that my efforts were worthwhile. So I won't be standing for election, I won't be shouting from the sidelines, and I probably won't vote in the next round of ballots.

You could say I'm packing up my toys. I'm not going home just yet, but I'm not going to play unless you can work out how to make the project somewhere fun to be again.

= Mike

--

To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. -- Theodore Roosevelt



- posted by poopbot: for all your crapflooding needs

52bKClxsQ5 Post #820

Slashdot has confirmed:PWP is dying by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948034)

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered trolling community when recently Slashdot confirmed that, after several changes were made to production Slashcode, wide posts account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all Slashdot posts. Coming on the heels of the latest verions of IE which make page-widening more difficult, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. the wide posts that we love are collapsing into the narrow posts that we are used to, as further exemplified by the lack of Slashbots complaining about difficulty reading Slashdot's articles.

You don't need to be a Klerck to predict PWP's future. The hand writing is on the wall: PWP faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for PWP because PWP is dying. Things are looking very bad for PWP. As many of us are already aware, PWP continues to be defeated by users with thresholds of 1 or higher. Mod points flow like a river of blood. Klerck's PWP-bot posts are the most endangered of them all, having been filtered early on because of their uniformity.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

PWP leader Klerck states that there are 7 wide posts in the average Slashdot article. How many non-wide crapflood posts are there? Let's see. The number of crapflood versus wide posts on Slahdot is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7*5 = 35 non-wide crapflood posts in every Slashdot article. Tacosnotting posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of crapflood posts. Therefore there are about 17 tacosnotting posts per article. A recent article put Goatse.cx trolls at about 80 percent of total troll posts. Therefore there are a hell of a lot of homosexual trolls. This is consistent with the number of Goatse.cx Slashdot posts.

But Slashdot is only part of the picture. Due to the troubles at Slashdot, negative revenue and so on, the site will soon go out of business and many users will flock to alternative weblogs, where PWP is almost completely unknown. Trollaxor.com, the popular troll hangout, is also dying, its corpse sodomized in yet another Greek bath house.

All major surveys show that PWP has steadily declined in the scope of all troll posts. PWP is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If PWP is to survive at all it will be among Blog faggot using outdated versions of Slashcode. PWP continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, PWP is dead.

- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!

5JTATkpImN Post #821

nitpicking (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948035)

I work for Equifax and we did not get bought out by GeoTrust. just the certificate business.

USian pie by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948044)

USian Pie

A long, long time ago I can still remember How the trollers used to make me smile And I knew if I had to boast That I could try to get first post And maybe I'd be happy for a while But moderators made me shiver With every minus they'd deliver DoS scripts couldn't stop it They scored them all "Offtopic" I know that it's cheap crack they smoke And meta-moderation's broke At first I thought it was a joke The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --
Bye, bye, MEEPTy, OOG, and Grits guy Drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh*
Those Steve Woston posts that we all knew were a lie Wonder what became of girls petrified? What became of girls petrified?
--

Did you write a bunch of Perl? And did it make you want to hurl Feces at the Wall? Can you believe these lame-ass polls? Do you post big stretched-out assholes? Can you make the goatse.cx link not show? Well I know you think that Siggy sucked Will the real Bruce Perens please stand up? The bots don't have a clue. Man, I dig those trolls from Shoe! I was a rabid Free Speech advocate With a Red Hat T-shirt and a Free Beer gut
Bought my Sony laptop working Pizza Hut The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --

It's been two years since the IPO And LNUX sinks to all-time lows But that's not how it used to be When Spiral showed how it was done Trolling as Jon Erikson Who worked for NPO Technologies Oh and while they tried to filter posts Somebody rooted Slashdot's host "Crack Slashdot? That's absurd!" Better go change your password While JonKatz wrote a Hellmouth book By using posts he simply took And we flamed him till he was cooked The day that trolltalk died And we were singin....

-- Chorus --

10 grams. Inchfan. Didn't log out. Goddamn The mods will find the sid real soon, man
You can't hide if you aren't AC Your bud (George here) tried BSD A dead Streetlawyer's tips were free And WIPO helped letsriot turn Nazi 70 made his percents up While 80md warned "liberals suck" The moon does not exist It's just a liberal myth Oh and as Taco tried to take a nap We forced him to invoke bitchslaps Do you recall the flood of crap The day that trolltalk died? We started singin....

-- Chorus --

Oh and then we were wearing out "All your base" And started posting monospace
The better for our penis birds So come on, be a zealot, be a dick You don't think Anne Marie's a chick? Because lying's all we do about HURD So go and push for BSD And say GPL isn't free Slow down, cowboy! The limit Is one post every minute Now tell the right wing facist slime Infringing on Your Rights Online That they can't censor all the time The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --

I met a troll they called The Rev And asked him if CD BREAK HEAD He said, "That's old. Get over it." And with all the courage I could muster "Imagine what a Beowulf cluster...." But it wasn't worth the trouble to submit The karma caps are just plain jive And everyone's moved to K5 The steelcage has grown rusted And Geekizoid is busted
The three sites I don't see for weeks Segfault, kernel, Comp-u-geek Code is not art. This ain't Freshmeat The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --

- posted by poopbot: for all your crapflooding needs

fA8amr00Kl Post #822

Speaking of Verisign (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948061)

Here's snippets from a renewal notice I got. I've never seen a more ridiculous abuse of domain registrations. I've got other emails from them that have even more domain names being used this way - it's like they're trying to encourage you to register a unique domain for every page on your site..

--
TO RENEW SERVICES
Renew your domain name and other VeriSign Web Services now - it's fast and easy to do: ...

Go to www.VSSavings.com and enter your domain name. ...

Go to www.5DaysToRenew.com and enter your account number/login number and password*. ...

TO UPDATE YOUR ACCOUNT
Visit www.verisignaccount.info to update your address, view services and verify payments made. You will need the following to access your account: ...

Your account/login number - listed above
Your password. If you don't have your password, go to www.verisignpassword.info or call Customer Service at 1-866-847-2282. ...

You can read our comprehensive Service Agreement at www.verisignagreement.info. ...

Please do not reply to this message. For any VeriSign Customer Service inquiries, please e-mail us through the following link: www.contactverisign.com. Any replies to this message, other than unsubscribe requests, will not receive a response.

UCFPKF by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948065)

How are things in the civilized world? You probably don't know who I am. That's
okay. I'm here to inform you of my mission, what I've found, and what I hope to
teach all of you.

I work for the United Christians Food for Poor Kids Foundation, and let me tell
you, there's a lot of poor kids in Afghanistan. As in most countries in the
Middle East, most people are unemployed, and therefore poor. And where there's a
lot of poor people, UCFPKF is needed.

UCFPKF always has the latest in technology. In this instance, we had access to
some Pentium 4's(r) 2GHz. Obviously, we needed an operating system that could
handle the power of Intel's beast. Unfortunately, we didn't have any computer
experts on hand up to the task, so it was going to be trial and error.

We'd heard good things about Linux and its "ACL's". Little did we know of its
incompatibility with modern hardware. It didn't even support Token Ring
networking, the newest form of Ethernet(r), which we require to always keep
in contact between bases. Also, it didn't seem to use SSE optimizations, which
when processing food amounts, are also very important. Also, there were
homo-erotic implications in the structure of Linux, which is strictly
unallowable in a Christian organization such as ours.

The next obvious step was to install Windows. We hesitated because we knew that
it was common knowledge that Windows crashed incessantly. Our experience was
less than stellar. It also didn't support Token Ring networking. Security is
important in this region because many people try to steal food, but "Windows
2000" (which I hear didn't even come out in 2000) doesn't even allow you to
have seperate permissions. Once again, the SSE optimizations were not used.

I was in a situation that seemed impossible. The two most famous operating
systems had failed me. I walked around the base in a dazed stupor. What was I
going to do for our ultra-important network? A boy saw me pouting and sighing,
and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing, but we exchanged names, and little
did I know, that young Junis had a gift for computers.

Junis saw me the next day, slaving away at the sparse terminal that "Windows
2000" makes you type in. He asked what I was doing with that primitive OS. I
laughed and told him that I was doing inventory. He ran to his village, into his
hut, and pulled out a box I had never seen before. The box said "SCO Xenix" the
front. I had never seen or heard of this Xenix before. But I soon learned that
Junis was a computer genius.

All we had to do was put the Xenix CD into the computer, and everything worked
like magic (not the devil's magic... good magic:) ). Our Token Ring network
integrated flawlessly with it. And it even used SSE optimizations. Well, me and
Junis are now on a new mission. We're spreading the word. It might not be the
word of the lord, but then again, maybe it is ;).

SCO Xenix: The Unix of Tomorrow.

Janet Milman
Network Administrator, UCFPKF
Afghanistan base

- posted by poopbot: the bot formerly known as pwpbot

tbbQ5It25i Post #823

Equifax Bought Out? NOT (2, Informative)

john_roth (595710) | more than 12 years ago | (#3948135)

I was kind of surprised to see this assertion. So I did a little due dilligence (I looked at the web sites of both parties). Nothing whatsoever in their press releases. I finally found it here http://www.equifax.com/DigitalCertificates/dc_pres s09252001.html Equifax sold their SSL Certificate business, not anything else, close to a year ago... They're still the same credit reporting, marketing and so forth company they've always been.

Hello by poopbot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3948171)

Introduction

The cheese wheel inexorably avoids contact with the paycheck. The steam engine goes deep sea fishing with an often outer ski lodge. When the cyprus mulch over a vacuum cleaner hides, a ball bearing gets stinking drunk.

The tornado

For example, a submarine behind a class action suit indicates that the optimal fairy satiates an Alaskan recliner. When a mitochondrial bottle of beer is thoroughly dirt-encrusted, a most difficult blood clot underhandedly writes a love letter to a defendant. An earring pees on the cashier over some globule, but the pathetic crane sells another vacuum cleaner behind a scythe to a false wheelbarrow. If a chess board defined by a grain of sand makes love to a crispy cyprus mulch, then a particle accelerator flies into a rage.

A Eurasian globule

The feline minivan earns frequent flier miles, and the buzzard defined by a ball bearing trembles; however, a senator living with the girl scout learns a hard lesson from the inferiority complex. Any chain saw can try to seduce the particle accelerator, but it takes a real salad dressing to play pinochle with the inexorably precise paycheck. Furthermore, another seldom load bearing defendant flies into a rage, and a paycheck around a light bulb seeks a roller coaster around another bartender. If a crank case makes love to the diskette, then the squid toward a mortician meditates. Now and then, an insurance agent thoroughly avoids contact with a pompous turkey.

A microscope

Most people believe that an orbiting diskette trades baseball cards with a movie theater, but they need to remember how secretly a statesmanlike short order cook wakes up. A paternal roller coaster is usually financial. When the accurately varigated hole puncher takes a coffee break, a slyly smelly garbage can earns frequent flier miles. For example, the phony cheese wheel indicates that the tornado near a fruit cake hesitantly gives lectures on morality to a salad dressing defined by the corporation. The carpet tack near a cargo bay, some parking lot toward a warranty, and a stovepipe beyond a freight train are what made America great!

Conclusions

A judge beyond the briar patch laughs and drinks all night with the snooty chestnut. A raspy burglar conquers a bowling ball. For example, another plaintiff toward a bartender indicates that the ski lodge behind a fairy finds lice on a burglar. If some rattlesnake toward a cheese wheel can be kind to a blood clot, then the elusive movie theater self-flagellates. When a photon related to a turkey is most difficult, a self-loathing bottle of beer falls in love with a pickup truck living with the paycheck.

- posted by poopbot: who doesn't like scat?

rXAR9QHYOo Post #825
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