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Go Go Gadget Minisaw

michael posted more than 11 years ago | from the first-it-was-a-screwdriver dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 486

weighn writes "The SMH has this story about an eccentric Frenchman who carries about 1300 useful items attached to his body by various means. A digital camera is mentioned, so I guess there may be some form of computing device nearby. Anyone else a bulging pocketed geek-scout?"

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pissing frost tsarkon report phirst poast (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656623)

The Future of SLASHDOT.

2002. Slashdot publishes 1,000,000th rumor passed off as actual story. The story generates 480 comments, 263 of which agree with the article, and 107 of which point out it's a rumor and are modded down as redundant. The remaining comments are all "first posts." or posts that contain any rational insight are modded "troll."

2002. CmdrTaco married to a human female, reports are that she does not have 46 chromosomes, however. Fent does display tendency to retardation.

2002. Slashdot parent corporation VA Research^W Linux^W Software stock worth 35 cents. Rumors that AOL, Microsoft, or even Jimmy the hobo who lives under the Longfellow Bridge may buy it.

2003. VA Software bought by Microsoft for a cup of coffee and a donut. All Microsoft-critical articles mysteriously disappear from Slashdot. Bill Gates as Borg logo replaced with Bill Gates as God. (Taco suggested that in order to be "God," or his vision of God, Gates would have to be seen in a NAMBLA T-shirt. Luckily good taste prevails in favor of the old man image in glowing aura)

2004. CmdrTaco loses virginity, well, not sex with men virginity, that's long since gone, and not sex with anime blow up dolls, this time, real sex.

2004. The WIPO Troll returns again, showering Slashdot in 45,000 copies of the same post: "Lick my crotch hairs." Slashdot, despite
running on 18 redundant IIS/8.0Beta6 servers, buckles under the load. The term "Slashdotted" is replaced with "WIPO-Trolled."

2004. Slashdot officially shut down. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Bill Gates.

2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, a tub of crisco and several used condoms. FreeBSD users are glad the insanity is dying.

2005. CmdrTaco rumored to have had sex again, even with constant Viagra therapy, it took this long. He complains, I can be ready to go again in five minutes if I was looking at a nude man, to the dyslexic Fent.

2006. CowboiKneel found dead in hotel room with 56 pizza boxes covering his bloated corpse. Three suffocated gay prostitutes are extracted from beneath his body as police remove it with a backhoe.

2007. CmdrTaco actually has sex again, this time plugging Fent in the ass for a more manlike feel.

2007. BSD is still officially "dying." No word on when its demise will take place. FreeBSD 9 is delivered in perfect working order in a coherent superior, commercially viable and useable fashion with real documentation, the same practice followed since inception. Linux lunatics, after the death of Cox, are still trying to perfect the Trident driver while ignoring the existence of the GeForce 9. Netcraft dies along with all the surveys they held on Microsoft and Linux servers are lost as well.

2007. CmdrTaco starts new weblog to replace Slashdot, creatively named Dotslash. Remainder of Linux users flock to the site and immediate WIPO-Troll it out of existence.

2007. Box running FreeBSD for 6 years sets world record for Unix uptime on consumer hardware.

2008. CmdrTaco has sex with his wife for the first time without thinking of men. He has dawned on the extra sexual pick me up for his twisted mind, small children.

2010 Marcelo Tosatti finally releases a version of the 2.4 Linux Kernel that is useable 2.4.29-RC2099.alpha.stage.99 (not -STABLE!). Fuck you Marcelo, YOU SUCK as a MAINTAINER.

Is genital-too, I mean Gentoo fixed yet? Last time it made me perform all these stupid, fucking easily scriptable mindless tasks to get it installed, with everything installed perfectly the stupid thing didn't work. Death to OS X, death to lame Linux distributions, I want a COHERENT Linux distribution and FREEBSD or DIE, baby.

firsty posty! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656629)

la la la, skip on down the road, la la la, and then ill eat a toad.

whores.

fp (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656630)

boo

We are the Borg. (0, Offtopic)

dokebi (624663) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656631)

Resistance is Futile.

Who wants to bet... (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656635)

That one of those items ia a white flag?

badda-bing!

Thanks! I'll be here all night!

Re:Who wants to bet... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656821)

Someone mod this up.

Re:Who wants to bet... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656854)

That's the best line I've heard all night! Please, does no one get this? Mod this up.

Interesting pickup lines... (5, Funny)

MacOS_Rules (170853) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656637)

Must be an embarrassment for the poor guy.

"Is that a ruler in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

"Actually, it IS a ruler."

its a (1, Funny)

1nfern0 (584316) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656638)

he's a swiss army guy. get it. hahahaha

No Picture!?!?! (5, Insightful)

Geeyzus (99967) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656639)

The story is about a guy who basically has a bunch of tools attached to him, who calls himself "Crazy Eric" (go figure). The whole story is just about how crazy this guy looks, and there is NO PICTURE! What's up with that?

Mark

Re:No Picture!?!?! (2, Informative)

gr0ngb0t (410427) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656657)

its the smh - they only put pictures in if it sports stars, kylie minogue or skimpyly (sp) clad models...

Re:No Picture!?!?! (1)

cranos (592602) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656695)

Or even better if its a scantily clad athlete kissing Kylie Minogue, or is that Picture magazine(Warning blatant Aussie reference)

Re:No Picture!?!?! (1)

The_dev0 (520916) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656737)

Naah, if it was Picture, the article would be called:

Baps-out Ball Bans Beaver,Nice Norks Nuke New Zealand

...or something equally intellectually stimulating.

Re:No Picture!?!?! (1)

gr0ngb0t (410427) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656740)

I think it might be Picture or People.

is the Post still going? they'd prolly do that too. since i moved out of my parents place, i dont have access to my dads collection of these mags anymore...

Re:No Picture!?!?! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656678)

Yeah, it's not like he didn't have a camera on him!

its fake? (1)

ArchieBunker (132337) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656716)

I'd like to see a complete list of every object he supposedly carries. In fact can he even rattle off all 1300 from memory? Probably not. Lets not even get into space considerations.

Re:its fake? (5, Funny)

Chagrin (128939) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656793)

I'm sure he carries a list.

Re:its fake? (2)

Chundra (189402) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656827)

Most of them are covered by the wad of blu tack he keeps in his pocket. It's got 1001 uses, you know.

Re:No Picture!?!?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656803)

/me points at michael.

I have a useful item attached to my body (-1)

Sir Bard (605512) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656645)

It's called a fucking penis, never leave home without it. With this I can always pry open objects stuck together, pleasure wemon (and men), and use it to play sports (ie golf/baseball)

Parker Lewis (5, Funny)

British (51765) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656650)

Anyone remember Parker Lewis Can't Lose? His buddy wore a trenchcoat, and was already prepared. Each time he whipped out an item you heard the sound of separating velcro.

This guy in the story should design suits for certain professions, with neatly designed inner pockets, outer pockets(like on the Ps1 game "P'Oed" featuring the chef with sidearm cooking utensil) and so forth and then sell them.

I only wish I had more coat pockets and such, but my trendy Dockers will have to do. Carries everything but a handgun in the pockets.

Re:Parker Lewis (1)

scott1853 (194884) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656761)

Synchronize Swatches!

Re:Parker Lewis (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656787)

In America if you wear a trenchcoat and are under 18, then you most definitely are hiding a gun in the pocket.

Re:Parker Lewis (1)

brianosaurus (48471) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656809)

Holy shit!

Was Parker Lewis NOT one of the best shows on TV?!?!?

Seriously. Maybe just one of the best of its time, but no one seems to hav syndicated it, so there's no good way to compare.

But it was a kickass show.

In the meantime, I still like cargo shorts (damned winter! cuz cargo pants just look silly). the huge knee-side pockets rock for carrying just about anything. Right now I mainly just carry my danger/t-mobile sidekick. But I carried my Libretto in my cargo shorts on many occasions.

I had a friend in college who used to carry a pair of pruning shears in his backpack. If he was walking along a path and a tree branch was hanging in his way, he'd stop, pull them out, and trim it off. I thought he was crazy, but it was obstructing him! Right on!

He must be James Bond (1)

dokebi (624663) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656654)

I mean, he carrys a change of clothes on him at all times.

Re:He must be James Bond (2)

itwerx (165526) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656706)

Wonder if the change of clothes is recursive?
if the change of clothes is recursive?
the change of clothes is recursive?
change of clothes is recursive?
of clothes is recursive?
clothes is recursive?
is recursive?
recursive?
?

"Hey, where'd Eric go?!? He said he was just going to change his clothes..."

I'm always ready... (1)

ShayUK (448325) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656656)

as I never leave home without my trusty keyring bottle-opener.

I will never be caught flat-footed by a non-twist top beer again!

Re:I'm always ready... (1)

The_dev0 (520916) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656847)

Any ledge or a plastic cigarette lighter will do the trick; you don't need to carry a bottle opener. (Just don't use the ledge in the kitchen at home, it's a great way to drink the rest of your six-pack in the doghouse once the wife sees the wood shavings on the floor)

No room (3, Funny)

natron 2.0 (615149) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656658)

I tried to fit my Microsoft EULA in my pocket but it was to heavy.

Re:No room (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656730)

ROTFLMAO!! Ha ha, I'd mod you up, but I don't have any mod points. Plus you're not fucking funny.

Jesus, give it a rest. This story has nothing to do with MS - dragging them into the discussion obliquely is worth nothing, karma whore.

Re:No room (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656795)

Honestly we started using an MS EULA in QA testing to make sure large amounts of data could be correctly handled. I hope there's nothing in there that prohibits using the EULA for testing purposes.

Re:No room (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656828)

haha you are so creative this is such a funny joke b/c microsoft sux so any joke about them must be relaly really funny. microsoft sux. that was a joke, but its funny b/c it's true. hahahhahaha microsoft sux!

Oh shit... (5, Funny)

whereiswaldo (459052) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656660)


I thought standing behind someone in the supermarket paying with cheques was bad... imagine being behind this guy in airport security!

Re:Oh shit... (1)

Reece400 (584378) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656725)

Chances are that someone with the nickname "the human `swiss army knife`" probably wouldn't get that far anways, lol :)

Reece,

Re:Oh shit... (1)

brianosaurus (48471) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656864)

Yeah. cuz you know, being swiss he'd try to be neutral with everyone.

Or were you suggesting that someone nicknamed "the cliche jock asshole" would take him out faster than a freshman with a beanie?

Re:Oh shit... (0)

Kip Diamond (620384) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656727)

I know if I was airport security, I would just say "Fuck it, I'm not checking all that god damned shit! Get the fuck on the plane!"

Re:Oh shit... (4, Funny)

MbM (7065) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656840)

I'm sure he's got a small airplane in there somewhere...

I'd hate to be behind him... (4, Funny)

UpLateDrinkingCoffee (605179) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656661)

I'd hate to be behind him at an airport security checkpoint.

Bulging. (5, Funny)

DarkHelmet (120004) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656662)

Anyone else a bulging pocketed geek-scout?

Pfft, frenchmen... I may be a geek, but I don't need any artificial means to be bulging.

Re:Bulging. (-1)

YourMissionForToday (556292) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656813)

You just need to think about huge uncircumsized African cocks, eh, "Dark Helmet?"

Oh, I've got a bulging pocket alright... (0, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656663)

... but not from gadgets...

Hoowah!

MIT cyborgs (1)

freejung (624389) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656664)

This reminds me of stories I've heard about the MIT cyborgs, these guys at MIT who used to walk around with a portable 386 with simitransparent goggles and 4-button handheld keypads. They would walk around campus coding. Anybody know these guys?

Re:MIT cyborgs (5, Insightful)

Fnkmaster (89084) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656707)

I don't know any of them, but I rode in the elevator with one in the Media Lab back when I was working there as a research assistant a few years back. Fucking spooky when you hear a guy quietly clicking away with his one-handed keyboard-thingie while staring straight ahead. It was like he had no awareness of my presence or any other people around him.


Frankly, that kind of thing isn't good for humankind. I'm all for connectedness, but when we are so connected we lose our connections to the immediate world around us and the people right under our noses so we can email, check weather, and write code all the time - well, we truly lose some of what makes us human. And that's sad.

Re:MIT cyborgs (1)

russellh (547685) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656810)

Seeing that at MIT is fine - seeing that in the mall is another story. And I'll take technozombies over warmongering any day.

Re:MIT cyborgs (5, Insightful)

scott1853 (194884) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656844)

It was like he had no awareness of my presence or any other people around him.

This has nothing to do with technology. Have you ever gone to a grocery store?

A surprisingly large number of people are completely unaware that that they are blocking the aisle when they have there cart on one side of the isle, themselves on the other, and yet they don't realize that you're coming despite your driving of the loudest shopping cart in the store.

Apparently choosing a spaghetti sauce takes a large amount of conentration and puts people in a trance like state.

yeah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656773)

I dumped a bucket of salt water on him and called him a complete douchebag.

I guarantee you one item he doesn't need to carry (5, Funny)

FearUncertaintyDoubt (578295) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656666)

...is a condom.

Re:I guarantee you one item he doesn't need to car (2)

garcia (6573) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656723)

especially after he runs up to a woman and screams, "go go gadget erection" and a freaking cold-shower showers down on both of them.

Re:I guarantee you one item he doesn't need to car (5, Funny)

1000StonedMonkeys (593519) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656755)

You know you've got problems when people on slashdot start making fun of your sex life...

I have two words for this guy (1)

jokercito (190777) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656667)

Metal detector...

Re:I have two words for this guy (3, Funny)

Cpt_Kirks (37296) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656799)

His metal detector is in the upper left back shoulder pocket.

bulging pocketed geek-scout (2, Funny)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656668)

Uh... if you're doing XML while you clean yourself, don't drop the SOAP in the shower...

How's this for something else amusing? [monster-hardware.com]

What an IDIOT! (0, Insightful)

Kip Diamond (620384) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656672)

I could also carry a great number of "useful" items on my body, but why would anyone want to do that.

Carrying 15kg of items on yourself not only makes you look like an idiot, but also shows that you DO want self publicity.

There is no other reason to wear 1300 items. Does it look cool.....no. Is it helpful? Hell no, not when you are cluttered with 1300 different items!

This guy either just an idiot, an extremely paranoid idiot, or a 30 year-old virgin trying to get self publicity to get laid.

Fuck you Crazy Eric!

Re:What an IDIOT! (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656786)

Trust me, this guy is not gonna get laid.

Re:What an IDIOT! (3, Funny)

Rolo Tomasi (538414) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656852)

Let me guess, you're Crazy Jacques from the neighboring town and you're jealous because you only manage to pack 1100 items?

So ? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656676)

Hope that frenchman is still able finding his Penis under all the 1300 Items. It must hurt if he wants to go peeing and can't find the Dick just in time :)

Re:So ? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656775)

Like he mentioned in the article, he removed his penis because he found he never used it.

Re:So ? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656823)

He's french. He never washed it so it fell off!

Dilbert... (5, Funny)

batobin (10158) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656682)

Reminds me of the dilbert series where Dilbert has a gadget rivalry with one of his co-workkers. The two finally meet in a hallway and have a stand-off, western style. Both draw at the same but, but Dilbert's rival wins (rings all of Dilbert's gadgets) because his gadgets have speed dial.

"Speed Dial. Fool."

Can someone find that cartoon?

Re:Dilbert... (1)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656778)

I thought it was: "I think someone just received a FAX!"

Re:Dilbert... (1)

Bobulusman (467474) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656790)

It was Techno-Bill

Yes, but does he have his towel? (5, Funny)

Discopete (316823) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656686)

He makes mention of sleeping in some unusual places, but he never mentions a towel!

I know something useful he doesn't have... (2, Funny)

jokercito (190777) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656688)

A sex life... :P

When, oh when.... (2, Offtopic)

djupedal (584558) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656694)

...do we get to moderate submissions? Given the last 24 hrs around here, it can't happen too soon.

The pain...oh, the pain of a slow news day.

Re:When, oh when.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656765)

I just want to moderate editors. That way they get their privileges taken away for a month. We can at least all be happy when one of those fucks stops posting for a month.

Kinda like being w/o Jon Katz... He is dead right?

Re:When, oh when.... (1)

Uma Thurman (623807) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656822)

He was on NPR a while back talking about how he fell in love with two border collies. Apparently he moved to Utah and married them both. The happy trio is expecting over 30 puppies by Christmas. Trouble is, they won't know if they are katz or dogs.

Be Ready (2)

coene (554338) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656697)

This guy gives a new meaning to the "Be Ready" motto the boyscouts have adopted.

Too bad he "often ends up sleeping in odd places", thats kinda scary.

Re:Be Ready (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656805)

The motto is Be Prepared [scouting.org] not Be Ready

Artist's conception! (4, Funny)

c.emmertfoster (577356) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656698)

Here [cjselfdefense.com] is a police artist's sketch of the guy!

Re:Artist's conception! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656736)

here's [goatse.cx] another pic of the guy

gadget? (1)

The_dev0 (520916) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656711)

Between my victorinox cybertool, my PalmV and my pipe, I don't need to carry anything else! Pretty impressive, though.

Everything except a... (2)

Wag (102501) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656713)

Penis.

One wrong move with that mini-saw...

My dude. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656714)

O
\|/
|
/ \

Did anyone else need to look up sartorial? (3, Interesting)

UpLateDrinkingCoffee (605179) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656718)

Or Panoply? You'd never catch media in the U.S. using college words such as those :)

Oh the pain (5, Funny)

cranos (592602) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656721)

Okay here are all the bad jokes I could think of about this guy:

1.Is that a t1 in your pocket or a you just glad to see me?

2. Excuse me while I bend over I have a fax coming through

3. Yes that is my phone, could you just unzip me please.

4. Hi, Im a French Geek, damned twice over.

5. Hmmmm where can I stick this directional Wireless antenae.

6. I know, I'll try to attach every concievable geek device to my body. Then the girls are sure to notice me.

7. G..u..r..l, what is this Girl?

Thats all for now, im probably going to get modded down but hey, Im craving the nicotene right now so Im FINE.

Re:Oh the pain (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656838)

8. ???

9. Profit!

Sorry, had to do it.

Ummm... (1)

Botunda (621804) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656729)

If (and this is a really big stretch here) he had a significant other, what does he say when the time to copulate comes about, "one more minute!... uhhh, wait one more thing... hold on! We might need that one..."

I Now Have A New Hero... (3, Funny)

Nameis (556253) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656735)

I don't go anywhere without a Leatherman , a hanky, and duct tape. I'm always looking for new handy stuff to carry. At one time I also carried a face shield for CPR, a laser pointer, and a mini-torch. You can never have too many pockets!

I hope this guy starts his own clothing line. Over 1300 items...ah, that'd get me chicks.

A game? (5, Funny)

CySurflex (564206) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656739)

Apparently plans to produce a First Person Shooter game based on this frenchman were cancelled after prelimenary versions had gamers sitting there for 2 hours pressing "[" to cycle through inventory items.

That's nothing... (5, Funny)

FearUncertaintyDoubt (578295) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656749)

It's still 200 items short of the number the average woman carries in her purse.

excuse not to bathe (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656750)

"It takes too long to get out of this thing. I'll bathe tomorrow." (Yes, I work with smelly french people.)

useful part (0, Troll)

vivek7006 (585218) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656757)

The only useful part attached to his body might be his DICK !!

How looks your geek suit? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656758)

Does it have many pocket?

Possible Hoax (4, Interesting)

kaosrain (543532) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656769)

This sounds a lot like a hoax to me...he refuses to give his last name, and it seems like a story based completely on how "crazy" he looks would at least include a picture. I could be wrong, but I suspect we've been had.

Great (1)

Qwerpafw (315600) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656772)

I can just see the next step in scoping out insecure networks:

WarHugging

OTOH, I wouldn't mind, ehrm, "exchanging" information in that fashion with several people I know...

Oh no, (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656782)

New pointless product ideas for ThinkGeek.

I'd like to see him... (4, Funny)

Pig Hogger (10379) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656783)

I'd like to see him pass airport security just once.

Swiss Army knife pr0n (4, Funny)

EnlightenmentFan (617608) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656785)

Sidney Coleman (way cool physicist) had the biggest Swiss Army knife I ever saw. That thing must have weighed 15 kg by itself. He had carried it with him for years, and he told me...
(dramatic drum roll)
..that he had actually had occasion to use all but one of its 99-googol blades in his bike-riding, rock-climbing, etc. activities.

Not satisfied with this imperfect record, he sought out an expert to find out what he could do with that single unused blade. The expert replied, "Remove stones from horses' hooves."

Hey, not every story has a happy ending.

Re:Swiss Army knife pr0n (2)

Cpt_Kirks (37296) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656857)

Sharper Image used to carry a swiss army knife called the "Macgyver" that had over a hundred tools.

They are replacing it with the "O'Neil" version. It is pretty much the same thing but includes an MP5.

What has it got in it's nassty pocketsses? (5, Funny)

sbaker (47485) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656789)

My father used to work for the airlines doing Radio and Radar repair. He carried a little kiddies pencil case containing a Swiss Army Knife and an expensive Fountain Pen. The case was labelled "747 Repair Kit" and he swore those were the only tools he ever used. He also remarked that he used the fountain pen more than the knife.

My Swiss Army knife (a top-of-the-range one) includes a small ballpoint pen - so I don't need the fountain pen...but I have a tiny LED flashlight. That's the software guy's PC repair kit.

Then of course there is my mother's handbag ...

pffft... useful? (2, Insightful)

The_dev0 (520916) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656794)

Everybody knows the towel is most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

Bulging-pocketed geek-scout (0)

c0d3h4x0r (604141) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656812)

Anyone else a bulging pocketed geek-scout?

Um... if they were, do you think they would tell you? Pervert!

Eccentric frenchman? (1, Funny)

xchino (591175) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656814)

"An eccentric Frenchman who goes by the name of Crazy Eric.." All Frenchmen are eccentric. If this guy goes by the name Crazy Eric, Maybe he's not eccentric but actually crazy.

This guy is homeless. . . (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656829)

. . Or maybe just camping long-term. Let's not make fun of those less well off, please. That being said, he seems to be quite self-sufficent. As an 1800's era trapper, he would have been stylin'!



"I use the brush a lot because I often end up sleeping in odd places and this is the best way I have found for removing dust," he says.



Elsewhere he carries a shaving kit, comprehensive first aid gear, a mini-saw, blow-up mattress, spare batteries, a change of clothes, a water-pouch, a water-filtering unit, soldering iron, tape-measure, digital camera ...



Did somone steal the story? (2, Interesting)

AcquaCow (56720) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656834)

I did some searching and apparently the Australian Broadcasting Company [abc.net.au] is also running the same story [abc.net.au] . Its not exactly the same, but there are direct quotes between the two.

Does anyone know if SMH [smh.com.au] is a partner company? Same company?

Does anyone know who had the story first?

-- AcquaCow

Re:Did somone steal the story? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656861)

The ABC is the Australian equivalent of the BBC and is part of the government not a company. Therefore no.

1300 is a bit of overkill... (1)

Masami Eiri (617825) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656851)

All I need is my cell phone, PDA, wallet, and swiss army knife.

That is... until I manage to get myself a katana :D

I for one think that he's pretty cool (2, Insightful)

outofpaper (189404) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656859)

Un like most of the people ranting about how this man can't get laid and how uncool he is I think that his outfit sound rather cool. From what I understood his clothing is extreamly neat, due to the fact that is probaly has obsesive compulsive disorder. His tools are probably laid rather evenly over most parts of his body that wont be presed up aginst stuff as he goes about his day to day buisines.

I also liked the idea that I got when I heard of the velcro leg pockets. I thought of removable pockets that velcroed on to witchever pants he was going to ware today. For them to work all you would have to do is sew soft velcro patches onto all your pants and then when you got home take of the pockets and that way you don't have to resort your pockets.

If I was going to designe cooltool pants I would just take some strong comphy pants sew velcro on them(the soft fuzzy part), probably as larg patches on the thighs and calves. Then I would find some of that strong synthetic denim stuf that overalls are made of (probaly in black or posibly that realy spiffy blackand white hounds tooth patern), with this fabric I would make my pockets. They would have litle deviders in them so as to seperat all my diferent tools(you know mini renches from philips screw drivers). I might also alow for some sort of modular inter wireing so that I could just plug things into my pants for power and alow sound sent to by shirt where I could have a plug up by my neck for head phones.

What Eric most often thinks.... (2)

krazyninja (447747) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656870)

Now, in which pocket did I put that "human-swiss-knife-organiser"??? :)))

Gargoyle (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4656871)

That's nothing man. I was on the bus a few weeks ago somewhere near Liverpool St. (London), and a gargoyle walked onto the bus.

(For those of you unfamiliar with the term, this means a dude decked out in computer gear).

He had a beltpack computer plus battery, a HUD, a wrist mounted keyboard, and a webcam on his right shoulder, and was covered in cables linking all these things up to each other (and no, despite my efforts I couldn't find any open bluetooth or wi-fi connections).

It was quite cool. He looked a bit of an idiot, but it would offer some funky opportunities.

Just think... with a decent cam, a powerful computer and some clever 3D rendering, you could get the HUD to display a world just like the real one, except where all the ladies are naked... ...or you could just check your email the whole time. Which is probabaly what I'd do. Sigh.
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