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DARPA Has $3.2M to Sniff You Out

michael posted more than 11 years ago | from the eau-de-criminal dept.

Technology 223

quackking writes "The Army wants to sniff you out. This fedbizopps.gov link to a DARPA pre-RFRQ tells more. 'The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) Advanced Technology Office (ATO), as part of the Odortype Detection Program, invites proposals to (1) determine whether genetically-determined odortypes can be used to identify specific individuals, and if so (2) to develop the science and enabling technology for detecting and identifying specific individuals by such odortypes. Total program funding for this effort will not exceed $3.2 million in FY 2003. Multiple awards are anticipated. Proposals are due by January 29, 2003.'"

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223 comments

Intresting stuff (3, Interesting)

blitzoid (618964) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889921)

But could wearing heavy perfume mask your scent enough to avoid detection? Bah, just stick to good ol' bloodhounds.

Sniffing you out... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889966)

... the ripe smell of anchovy paste. Gak, cross your legs!

YES YES.YES.YES YES YES! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890014)

(You'll never stop the bad news!) Trolls of the world, UNITE!

I HAVE STRUCK GOLD!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I sniffed it out with my trusty 56k!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Trolls, I HAVE found the biggest fucking collection of porn you OR I will EVER FIND IN OUR LIVES.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I am TALKING ABOUT Lesbians/strapon, Madonna, and hardcore.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Check it out or mirror it fast before the webmaster plugs the open port up! http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I also found a picture that looks like Ally (but older and legal and independant) [wofut.com] of Spielbergh's Taken.

Re:Intresting stuff (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890002)

PAPER: Osama bin Laden has bought nuclear firepower from renegade KGB agents, Tony Blair and George Bush have been warned, the SUNDAY EXPRESS is claiming... Developing...

Re:Intresting stuff (5, Interesting)

Seehund (86897) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890208)

No, unless you actually altered or destroyed the detected "scent" molecules, then "masking" your scent with perfume or whatever wouldn't work. That works on organisms with olfactory organs, who can identify a scent as e.g. "banana", but can't tell the difference between minute structural differences between different banana-smelling molecules, if all "banana" molecules bind to the same receptors.

OTOH I wonder just how useful this would be for identifying individuals with any great certainty. Unlike fingerprints, the genetic sequences of MHCs (major histocompatibility complexes) of two individuals can very well be partially or fully identical (organ transplants wouldn't work otherwise). This is more comparable to identifying -- or grouping -- people by blood typing, and its application would likely not be for e.g. forensic investigations needing certainties approaching 100%. I'm sure it still can have its uses though.

For us damn foreigners, what's a "pre-RFRQ"?

Re:Intresting stuff (4, Informative)

Seehund (86897) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890236)

(For those who don't RTFA, it is theorised that the genes coding for our MHCs also determine what detectable scent molecules we spread around us.)

g'yeah! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889926)

1st/2nd/3rd post!

IN SOVIET RUSSIA (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889937)

Second Post gets you!

Re:g'yeah! (0, Offtopic)

DarthWing (632088) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889967)

1st/2nd/3rd post?! You're not even trying anymore, are you?

Re:g'yeah! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890164)

Didn't notice that the post anonymously box wasn't checked there. Who needs karma?

Don't know about you but... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889929)

I can usually smell a nerd a mile away. The stench is unbearable!

Re:Don't know about you but... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890244)

Troll? If you mods can't laugh about yourselves, what gives you the right to laugh about anything?

IN SOVIET RUSSIA (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889934)

The government spies on YOU!

oh shit.. wait a minute...

Re:IN SOVIET RUSSIA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889940)

LOL!

Re:IN SOVIET RUSSIA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890000)

Mandatory backwards comment:
IN SOVIET RUSSIA
YOU spy on the government!

Hey! What a concept...

Oops! The government already spies on me.
And they now know of my plans...

YES ... YES YES YES ... YES YES ... YES YES YES! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890022)

(You'll never stop the bad news!) Trolls of the world, UNITE!

I HAVE STRUCK GOLD!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I sniffed it out with my trusty 56k!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Trolls, I HAVE found the biggest fucking collection of porn you OR I will EVER FIND IN OUR LIVES.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I am TALKING ABOUT Lesbians/strapon, Madonna, and hardcore.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Check it out or mirror it fast before the webmaster plugs the open port up! http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I also found a picture that looks like Ally (but older and legal and independant) [wofut.com] of Spielbergh's Taken.

+1 Informative! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890039)

+1 Informative!

Re:IN SOVIET RUSSIA (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890181)

You smell government 20km away!!

Actuall IN SOVIET RUSSIA... (3, Insightful)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890203)

The government spies on YOU!

More like, in Soviet Russia the government might have spied on you.

In the USA, post 9/11, the government will spy on you.

So... what was the objective of this Cold War thing again?

Good luck (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889935)

Good luck tracking geeks.

Get it? =)

Its not hightech (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889942)

And its called a dog

Sounds silly? (2, Insightful)

Siguy (634325) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889943)

Perhaps someone can enlighten me to where this will be very useful. I just can't even imagine how knowing what a terrorist smells like or whatever it is they're doing is going to be useful -Siguy [blogspot.com]

Smells like an assassination device (5, Insightful)

Subcarrier (262294) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890020)

A targeted anti-personnel mine comes to mind. Could be useful for taking out enemy commanders. A retreating force could leave these scattered in the bushes. Of course, they'd have to acquire some samples beforehand. Who does Saddam's laundry, by the way?

Re:Sounds silly? (3, Interesting)

Lord Crc (151920) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890124)

One application I saw on Discovery channel, was a machine which looked pretty much like a metal detector ala airport style. You stood sideways in it, a small puf of air was blown on you, and the sensors "snorted" in the air. They where very sensitive to all different sorts of explosives and similar chemicals. Can't recall the exact figures, but it was in the region of if you touched anything the last couple of days, it'll go off.

Re:Sounds silly? (1)

Lord Crc (151920) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890135)

Point I was trying to make was that they could use things like this to track people around the globe. Obtain a sample without the person detecting it, and the bells would ring as you went through airport security, for instance.

not at all (1)

wattersa (629338) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890200)

They use "sniffers" at airports to detect explosive residue in carryon bags. Surely they can adopt that technology and just tell it to recognize other chemicals. Get sensitive enough equipment and you can recognize anything.

Aromatic Compounds (4, Informative)

VoidEngineer (633446) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890218)

So, odors are generally caused by 'aromatic molecules'. The nose, actually, is a molecular shape sensing device. Knowing what a terrorist smells like is central to knowing what kind of compounds and chemicals they've been working with. Somebody who smells acidic, dusty, and metallic is doing very different kind of work than somebody who smells of of wood/bark, musty, or moldy. The first person may be working with metals and acid etching things, whereas the second person may be a mycologist, and growing fungus. Between the two, the former is more likely to be making a bomb; the later bioweapons.

Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (5, Interesting)

403Forbidden (610018) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889944)

Developing the equipment to identify unique scents would be costly, bulky, and probably easily confused by purfumes and other forms of distraction.

I say that nature does the best job, use some sort of animal to sniff a trail, or use a better means to identify a person.

As it is, fingerprints, eye scans, and DNA are much better than smell, and how would you store the signature of a scent in a database?

"subject has a old-man on crack smell about him."

Re:Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (3, Insightful)

zephc (225327) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889979)

"and how would you store the signature of a scent in a database?"

Since scents are just chemicals, one could filter out the background scents, and then store a list of the remaining chemicals in a db.

Re:Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (3, Interesting)

pi_rules (123171) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890128)

Since scents are just chemicals, one could filter out the background scents, and then store a list of the remaining chemicals in a db.

Dogs do this all the time -- but HOW they do it is beyond me. They're able to seperate different smells way beyond what a human being can. When I try and ID a person by smell I usually pick up their perfume or detergent instead of their BO, which is nice and all, but if they switch product lines I'm hosed. Dogs on the other hand will smell their BO, their perfume, the funk from their socks, and know the difference between them. At least that's what I hear on the Discovery channel. I've never telepathically communicated with a dog to ask them this first hand; so I'm not 100% sure here.

So, now the trick is to come up with something that can not only measure smell but measure it in a way that it's seperates each of the signatures out into different signals and then IDs them in sme way, shape, or form.

I really think something like this has been a long-time coming. Dogs have been used to track people and identify substances for a heck of a long time. I don't see any "big brother" issues here either, and I'm usually pretty iffy about that kind of thing. Becaues the actual method has been proven (dogs) so long as it's implemented right it sounds great to me. There -is- a bit of a problem with pin-pointing the source of the smell though, and it would even be possible for somebody to "rub off" their smell onto you and signal a false match, but I'd imagine the odds of the latter is pretty rare. Would make for some interesting check-in procedures at the airport...

"Did you pack your own luggage? Has anybody asked you to carry anything on board for them? Have any strangers tried rubbing their stinky bodies up against in an attempt to make you smell like a terrorist?"

Pretty sure if I had a naked middle-eastern man rubbing his body against mine out of nowhere I'd be worried more about getting the fsck away from him than getting ID'ed as a terrorist at the airport.

Re:Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (5, Insightful)

Frymaster (171343) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889998)

As it is, fingerprints, eye scans, and DNA are much better than smell

not really. all the abovementioned methods require the participation of the identified person (well, you can lift someone's fingerprints from that wine glass... but to compare them you need to have good ink sheet ones).

odour can be detected surreptitiously... say when passing through an airplane security gate, and the person can be identified without being aware of it. if someone scans your retina, you'll notice. if they pick up your smell with a hidden sniffer you won't.

very insidious idea.

Re:Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (5, Interesting)

Quixote (154172) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890246)

not really. all the above mentioned methods require the participation of the identified person Not for eye (iris) scans. Here's an anecdote. 17 years ago, National Geographic published an eye-catching (no pun intended) picture of an Aghan girl in a Pakistani refugee camp. This year, after the fall of the Taliban, the original photographer (Steve McCurry) went back to that region to try and locate her. Well, to make a long story [nationalgeographic.com] short, he found her; but the verification was done using iris scanning technology (story here [webdesk.com] ). Interestingly, the company (Iridian) scanned the negative of the original, 17-year-old photo and used that to do the iris matching with the current photo of the girl (woman now). But the point is: the iris was captured from a 17-year-old photo.

Well duh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890111)

Of course it's a waste of money. When was the last time DARPA actually justified its funding by producing something? As soon as a DARPA project becomes economically or technologically feasable, it gets pulled by the DoD and put into a real R&D environment, where people don't just make PowerPoint presentations all day long.

Re:Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (3, Informative)

The Tyro (247333) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890145)

It would be interesting to see how they would implement this.

The theory on how animals tell people apart has to do with combinations of long-chain carboxylic acids. They have long fatty chains, and the long carbon chains keep the volatility low, but dogs can supposedly detect them. Their noses are quite sensitive for these compounds; much more so than human noses. On the other hand, humans noses are more sensitive for some other compounds... the mercaptans, for instance.

I just wonder if they can make equipment that will detect such low, low levels of these compounds, and whether there is enough variation (with the limited number of long chain fatty acids) to produce a unique signature among billions of people.

Unless I'm way off-base and they are going in a totally different direction, I don't see how this is possible.

Re:Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (3, Insightful)

pi_rules (123171) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890151)

Developing the equipment to identify unique scents would be costly, bulky, and probably easily confused by purfumes and other forms of distraction.

Given that it doesn't currently exist I don't really see wher eyou get that from.


I say that nature does the best job, use some sort of animal to sniff a trail, or use a better means to identify a person.


I think that's the idea here.. re-implement the dog. Dog's can't have RJ-45 jacked into their head to make a peer-to-peer database of smells that they've learned over the years. Computers can.

Plus, this might be the first OO system in the world that actually uses crap from those silly college course examples.

class Animal {};

class Dog inherits Animal {};

class GermanShephard inherits Dog {};


As it is, fingerprints, eye scans, and DNA are much better than smell, and how would you store the signature of a scent in a database?


If that was easily answered DARPA wouldn't be tossing $3.2 million at the problem.

Re:Sounds like a waste of 3.2m (1)

aggieben (620937) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890153)

Developing the equipment to identify unique scents would be costly, bulky, and probably easily confused by purfumes and other forms of distraction. Hmm...with regards to confusing the 'sniffers' with perfumes: I have been studying for a DSP final, so this was already on my mind, but couldn't you sort of do DSP with smells? I mean, when you have a noisy communication channel, you try to approximate what that noise is and then filter it out in the receiver. Couldn't you do that with masking scents? You could try to compile a sort of list of known smells and filter out everything except what you're looking for. I realize that this idea might only be a start....but hey, the technology doesn't even exist yet.

Glory Hole Etiquette (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889951)

1. IS THERE SUCH A THING AS GLORY HOLE ETIQUETTE?

Well, there seems to be. Unfortunately, we couldn't find any websites or literature to research it, although a woman in Kentucky with a similar interest told us there is a site, but she never got back with us to let us know where it is. Gay websites we looked at didn't seem to address it unless we just didn't know how to navigate around one properly and adult bookstores don't seem to acknowledge their existence. All that leaves us with is personal experience, all of which comes from West Virginia.

Rest assured though, based upon some threads on the boards, there are other states that have them. They apparently also exist in public restrooms, but we've never seen any and don't know anything personally about them, only what we've heard. This piece is confined only to glory holes found in adult bookstores.

2. WHAT EXACTLY IS A GLORY HOLE?

For the uninitiated, a glory hole is simply a hole in a wall separating two adjoining video booths. Glory holes can vary in size, but all serve the same basic purpose, ie. to allow a man to slip his penis through the hole from his side to the other booth.

Some are small, round holes just large enough to accommodate a penis and nothing more. In some bookstores, they can be larger, rectangular or square cut-outs big enough for a person to place his or her head through if so inclined. Why so large? While the glory hole is large enough to allow two people to engage in oral sex or masturbation, one person at a time, the larger ones allow easier access not only for the same purpose, but can also allow for anal intercourse, or vaginal intercourse if you happen to be female, or on the outside chance you meet a woman there. Not that you have to do any of this. We have to believe that while the larger holes when used for oral sex gives one person better access to the instrument of destruction, and surrounding parts poking through, they would also add to the exhibitionist and/or voyeuristic nature of the experience for both parties.

3. WHAT ABOUT THE BOOTHS?

A typical video booth is small. Generally, each comes with a small wooden seat for one person or a wooden bench that can seat two people somewhat comfortably. The smaller glory hole is slightly lower than waist level for the typical man so if you're extremely short or tall, good luck being comfortable using one. The larger holes center just below the waist area, but because of their size, height isn't really a factor.

In some bookstores, rather than a completely wooden barrier separating the two booths, a glass partition, starting about chest high and opaque in color extends above the wooden wall to the ceiling. By pressing a button on your side of the wall, you are sending a signal to the person in the adjoining booth you want to be able to see him, or in rare cases, her. If the other person is agreeable, he or she can push their own button and magically the glass clears to give each person an unobstructed view of the other.

4. HOW CLEAN ARE THE BOOTHS?

This can vary from bookstore to bookstore. When it comes to gritty, a place in Wheeling comes to mind. The movie screens in the booths are cum-splattered, the floors sticky or wet, and wadded up wet paper towels or tissue litter the floor. It's kind of weird because a mop and bucket are visible in a corner, but it doesn't look like anyone has learned how to operate these hi-tech tools at this place.

On the other hand, some are very clean. It appears to depend on the management. One place south of Parkersburg, under new management, seems almost fanatical about cleanliness. An employee seems to be constantly around with a mop, bucket and bottle of glass cleaner. Under the prior management, that was't the case.

Some places do provide a roll of paper towels which you can tear off and take in a booth with you. We suppose you should do your part and use them to clean up any mess you might make, but leave the Windex at home unless you don't want to watch a blurred porn flick. If you were interested in movies only, you probably wouldn't be in a booth with a glory hole anyway.

Also, there's nothing to prohibit you from taking your own stuff. If you think you're going to be on your knees, take a small towel or any other cleansing items, like maybe hand-wipes. It's probably just a matter of preference. The male half of this tandem doesn't worry so much about dirt and grime while the female half does.

5. WHAT DOES IT COST?

Not all that much really. All you're paying for is the movie you choose. Still, while the cost is nominal, 25 cents to get the movie of your choice started, there is a kicker to this. You are paying to have a movie on in increments. In some places, you can get 100 seconds for a quarter and watch the timer countdown every 10 seconds, ie. 100, 90, 80, etc. down to zero. In other places, you get a digital numeral that counts down the same way, eg. 5,4,3,2,1 and finally zero. When the time runs out, the movies goes off until another quarter is dropped in the slot.

Does it matter? It can. When you get 100 seconds for a quarter it comes to $9.00 per hour if we did the math right. The point is, you know exactly what you are getting. The problem with the digital counter is you get a certain number of seconds for each count, but those don't seem to be as long. Unless you take a stopwatch, it's difficult to know what you're getting for your quarter, but it seems to be about half the time as the timed segments.

Some bookstores require that you buy tokens at 25 cents a piece, usually five dollars worth. Don't be concerned if you run out though. We haven't found a single coin mechanism that doesn't take quarters after you run out of tokens.

Does anybody really care if you have a movie running? You bet! If you go, arm yourself with a generous supply of quarters. Once inside the booth, when you drop your first quarter in the slot, a small light comes on outside of your booth.

This does two things. First, it lets other patrons know the booth is occupied so someone can go to the opposite booth adjoining it to check you out. Of course, to those without a discerning eye that can't tell the door is closed and locked, it means someone may start pulling on the door trying to get in.

Second, what it also does, is let some employee, that does have a discerning eye, know the booth is occupied but the movie isn't playing. Does he care? Yep, that's his job. You may just hear from outside, "Start dropping some quarters!" Or worse, pounding on the door telling you to "drop quarters" to "Open the door!" Worse yet, a stern command to "Open the door!" accompanied by hard knocking.

Embarrassing? Maybe, maybe not. Just pay attention to the timer, have enough quarters and keep the movies going. Movies-that's plural. You'll have a selection, depending on where you go, of 10-16 movies in almost every category imaginable. Gay male, lesbian, BDSM, interracial, strictly oral or group sex. You name the theme, they'll probably have it available. Check the wall when you first walk in. With the exception of one place, the movie selection is there for you to review along with the corresponding number so you can turn to that channel in your booth to watch the Academy Award winning movie of your choice.

6. WHERE DO YOU FIND GLORY HOLES?

Well, by asking other people or just checking out adult bookstores. In West Virginia, it seems every adult bookstore has them. One thing you can count on, the stores certainly don't advertise them. You won't see ads in the newspapers, Yellow Pages or on billboards saying, "Come Check Out Our Glory Holes." The fact is, it's as though they don't even exist.

With one exception, we haven't been to a place that doesn't have two signs up. One always warns against loitering which means get in a booth and start shoving quarters in. This doesn't seem to be enforced all that much and as long as you're walking slowly around in circles, that seems to be good enough. The second sign you'll see forbids sexual contact of any kind, or solicitation; that it will not be tolerated and subject you to being asked to leave the premises or to prosecution.

A legal thing no doubt. After all, it seems almost nonsensical to have such a sign outside a line of booths that have a little hole to the next booth, unless we have this all wrong and they are really for passing cigarettes, mints and popcorn between fellow movie goers.

7. WHAT KINDS OF PEOPLE FREQUENT THESE PLACES?

The simple answer if you go is people like you! If you're first thought is only gay men hang around these places, that would be wrong. Sure, gay men will be there, but so will the bisexual and bi-curious. And, don't kid yourself, some, maybe quite a few, are certainly straight. The fact is, you'll run into all types of people. Some will be blue collar and other will appear to be businessmen. Some will be muscular, some obese and some are in between. There will be those that appear dirty and dressed kind of ratty and others that look very clean and seem overdressed. It may not always mean anything, but some men will have a wedding ring on.

Why would a straight guy go? A couple reasons probably. If you are going to be on the receiving end of oral sex from an anonymous stranger by sticking your penis through a little hole, are you really going to know if those are male or female lips on the other side. In a way, not really, although that probably denies reality. If all you see are men milling around, chances are those lips are attached just outside the oral cavity of a man. Ah, but the fantasy is still there and it plays a role. That warm little mouth could belong to your favorite actress or model if that's what you choose.

On the other hand, we have seen females hanging around. Generally, they'll be there as the other half of a male/female couple or, in some cases, with one or more other women. We recall at one place a woman, with a man, came in. She was dressed like a hooker, but wasn't. The assumption was the guy with her was her husband or significant other. Whatever he was, he was there to watch her engage in sex with other men. They chose a booth and went inside but left the door open. Before long there was a line of men waiting to take part in an oral gang bang that later turned into sexual intercourse for some of them at the suggestion of the man she was with.

Three things about this. First, it had the makings of a loving wives story on this site. Second, the management didn't seem to care, yet had to be aware because of the layout of the store. Finally, not all men frequenting glory holes are gay. In fact, the booths seemed to empty out while she was there. It certainly wasn't a gay man's paradise that day.

As an aside on the gay vs. straight or somewhere in-between issue, the male half here, getting a can of pop one time, was asked by a man if there were couples in the back and, the female half, sliding her long, slender and very obvious feminine finger through a glory hole doesn't seem to have a problem getting a response from men.

Still, if you're a single guy looking to find a gal-pal, you'd probably have a better chance at a church social. These are not places where you'll find your future wife nor are they places where you'll probably build lasting relationships.

Of course, you could run into someone you know. We wouldn't worry about it too much. They have just as much explaining to do as you do, especially if there doing research. Depending on your age, we can only imagine one thing worse; hearing a voice from the other side saying, "Hi, Dad!"(or Mom, whichever sounds worse to you)

8. CONDOMS?

Those damn little hunks of rubber that take away from the pleasurable experience of sex; should you use them? That's a personal decision obviously, but let's get real here. They may not be much fun, but they could save your life!

Sure, the stories written regarding glory holes never mention them, but in a story, it wouldn't be very erotic. It's like a porn movie. You want to see that hot cum squirting all over her face instead of it blowing up the end of a rubber! But, this isn't a movie or a story. This real life. Common sense should prevail.

It may also depend on what you decide to do. If you're going to masturbate someone, maybe you don't care as much. We recall one man, of several, that turned and placed his buttocks against the glory hole. It was clear what he wanted and the point was made even more clear because sticking in the crack of his butt was a packaged condom. Of course, do want to reach in there and pull it out?

While it's your choice, if you choose to use them, carry them with you. If you offer to it someone and they refuse it, so be it. They'll probably leave the booth and someone else will eventually come in. Still, through observation and talking to people, it seems the majority of people do not practice safe glory hole sex. Probably a mistake but we don't see it as our job to judge. We're not your parents and we're not your sex education teachers.

9. OKAY, SO YOU WANT TO GET OFF, OR GET SOMEONE ELSE OFF!

So, you've made the decision to do it, or do something. Go into the booth, put a few quarters in the slot and find a movie you might enjoy while you're waiting. If you want to be the one that gets off, unzip your pants, pull that baby out, and start stroking. Hey, that's what the movie is for and this is not a time to be shy. When the adjoining booth lights up from a movie starting, just wait. If you hear quite a few quarters dropping in the next booth, that's a good sign someone is at least interested.

If you want the other person to know you want to get off, it doesn't hurt to stand and face the hole. This will let the person know exactly what you want. While talking to the other person is fine, most everything is done by hand signals. If he wants you to stick that sucker through the hole, he'll place his finger on the hole, maybe circle it, and then withdraw it. That's your signal to put your penis through the hole. It doesn't mean however that oral sex will follow. It may be he is only willing to masturbate you.

Do you have to ejaculate? No, you can withdraw at anytime and wait for another person, or sometimes just take turns with the first person. The fact is, the other person may have no interest in oral or manual sex in any event. He may just want to watch or he may want you to watch him. In that event, don't expect a finger to come through the hole.

If, on the other hand, you want to get him off, just reverse the process. If he's interested when he sees that big old digit of yours, you'll know soon enough. What you do from there is up to you, but like you, he may not let you finish the job you've started. Don't be offended. It's not uncommon for a person to want to try several different people before going for the big one.

Like we said, people do talk to each other, but not often. You may be asked if it's okay to come in your mouth. You may be invited to join the other person or he may want to join you in your booth or, he may ask if you want to go his car or his place.

On the first one, we've done that, but that was finishing act of something that began outside in a vehicle and was prearranged. We wouldn't worry too much about accepting an invitation to join though. We haven't really run into anybody rude or crude and there is a certain safety factor in the building. The last thing management wants is a problem.

And, while we're at it, don't worry about running into Hannibal Lecter looking for a tube steak sandwich! We're not aware of anyone ever losing their precious member to a muncher. We're not saying saying it couldn't happen, just that we're not aware of any problems like that. The rudest thing we've ever witnessed, which happens often and may not be all that rude, is the guy that pokes his penis through the glory hole uninvited. You still have the safety of the wall between you and can choose to ignore or not ignore him.

Being invited outside, to a vehicle or a home, by a Jeffrey Dahmer wannabe, is quite another thing. Do it if you want, but we wouldn't. You're in a place believed to be frequented by gays and there is such a thing as gay bashing. You may not be gay, but try explaining that while you're munching on a warm creamstick for the first time in your life just to see what it's like.

10. WHY GO IN THE FIRST PLACE?

There's no emotional bond with the other person. In many places, you don't even see the other person's face. It's completely anonymous and in a sense, all very mechanical. We have our own reasons for going and we suspect everybody else does too. Maybe you just want to watch or be watched. We've done both. Maybe you want to be a little more active or just want to try something new.

Who knows! The fact is, it can be fun and entertaining. That's what it's really all about. Like we said, it's doubtful you're going to make any long lasting relationships in an adult bookstore. Although, we did one time meet someone that later lead to another meeting, but we would have to say that's extremely rare. Figure out why you want to go. For us, it isn't necessarily for sexual reasons, at least not always with other people. Since you don't have to do anything, go and enjoy-we have!

So, there you have it. Probably not the most exhaustive piece that could be written on the subject, but enough to get anybody started if they make decision to give it a try.

I propose.. (5, Funny)

dj28 (212815) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889958)

That they use RMS as a test subject. Given his potent odor, their prototype equipment will have an easier time functioning.

I saw a guy on Howard Stern... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889959)

who could do this. He could pick out ethnic types with almost nearly complete accuracy. Then Howard got bored with him and brought out a guy who could fart a whole lot.

Hold on! (5, Funny)

jaymzter (452402) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889963)

Ok, you have my name, social security number, IP address, you want to decide how I use MY computer, you take pictures of me when I go to sporting events, you want to cache my surfing habits, sniff my e-mail, and NOW you want to know what my ass smells like??

Two Letters: FO!

Oh, and by the way, All your funk belong to us!

Re:Hold on! (1)

sllim (95682) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890126)

On the contrary.
The smell of my ass is the one thing I don't mind them having.

STASI (4, Insightful)

micaiah (593598) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889965)

This kind of reminds me of the East German's intelligence program of keeping people's scents on file. Maybe that will be next?

YES! (-1)

SlashdotTroll (581611) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889968)

I HAVE STRUCK GOLD!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I sniffed it out with my trusty 56k!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Trolls, I HAVE found the biggest fucking collection of porn you OR I will EVER FIND IN OUR LIVES.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I am TALKING ABOUT Lesbians/strapon, Madonna, and hardcore.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Check it out or mirror it fast before the webmaster plugs the open port up! http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I also found a picture that looks like Ally (but older and legal and independant) of Spielbergh's Taken.

WHAT???! (2)

SuperDuG (134989) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889971)

Okay, this is getting rediculous...

*Insert ATM card* *place armpit next to machine* *make cash withdrawl*

We already have Retinal Scans, Voice Scans, DNA Scans, Fingerprint Scans, and Heat Signature scans, who knows what else they've come up with, why the hell would someone invest this much money into something virtually useless. Instead of lineups we just going to brush body odor laiden cotton swabs in front of witnesses face?

A HA! that's the stinky perp!! I wouldn't forget that smell anywhere!!

Plus wouldn't this be extremely easy to fake, the nose is one of the weakest sensory organs alone for a reason, it's a additional sensor that aides other senses, mainly taste. Anyone who wants to argue with me, fine argue, but I know that compared to the sense of touch, sight, and hearing, smell is one of the more non-essential senses. And I know this isn't a nose, but the nose being non-important might be a clue to not spend 3.2 million dollars.

I got an idea, lets quit saying how much social security and federal aid are hurting and divert funds for researching CRAP (pun intended) to the people!

Re:WHAT???! (1)

Hizonner (38491) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890064)

I know that compared to the sense of touch, sight, and hearing, smell is one of the more non-essential senses.

Tell that to a bloodhound.

It's a PLOT (5, Funny)

K8Fan (37875) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889976)

This is just another sneaky government plot, this one to get geeks to bathe!

Re:It's a PLOT (5, Funny)

SuperDuG (134989) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890008)

This is just another sneaky government plot, this one to get geeks to bathe!

You're wrong, and here's why: This is not a plot to get geeks to bathe it's a plot to encouorage geeks NOT to bathe.

Take into example, the government knows it can spot a geek rather easily on the streets (reference thinkgeek/linux/sci-fi attire, no real hairstyle, and complete lack of self-control), however an average bum holds these same qualities. If you were able to have one deciding factor to divide the geeks from the bums it would be the shower factor. So geeks, protect yourselves, damn the man, and DO NOT SHOWER.

YES YES YES! (-1)

SlashdotTroll (581611) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889977)

I HAVE STRUCK GOLD!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I sniffed it out with my trusty 56k!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Trolls, I HAVE found the biggest fucking collection of porn you OR I will EVER FIND IN OUR LIVES.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I am TALKING ABOUT Lesbians/strapon, Madonna, and hardcore.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Check it out or mirror it fast before the webmaster plugs the open port up! http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I also found a picture that looks like Ally (but older and legal and independant) [wofut.com] of Spielbergh's Taken.

Re:YES YES YES! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890016)

Gee, I hope Ally's labia isn't that skanked out

Whew! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889978)

good thing I took a shower today.

Something Stinks At DARPA. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889981)


(Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Not so good for PR (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889984)

Was it urban legend or ... didn't the nazi's already do this with dogs?

YES YES! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889988)

(You'll never stop the bad news!) Trolls of the world, UNITE!

I HAVE STRUCK GOLD!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I sniffed it out with my trusty 56k!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Trolls, I HAVE found the biggest fucking collection of porn you OR I will EVER FIND IN OUR LIVES.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I am TALKING ABOUT Lesbians/strapon, Madonna, and hardcore.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Check it out or mirror it fast before the webmaster plugs the open port up! http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I also found a picture that looks like Ally (but older and legal and independant) [wofut.com] of Spielbergh's Taken.

Not possible (2, Informative)

Trusty Penfold (615679) | more than 11 years ago | (#4889992)


Body odours are, as the proposal points out, the result of carboxylic acids.

Although the term carboxylic acid covers very many molecules - basically anything with a HO-C=O somewhere on it, the molecule has to be volatile to have a smell. The problem is that not many acids are volatile - the very composition of the molecule means it makes hydrogen bonds with others easily, and even light acids are involatile liquids or solids.

This means there is a small pool of molecules to pick from so the chances of an individual having a unique blend is very small.

YES YES YES YES YES! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4889997)

(You'll never stop the bad news!) Trolls of the world, UNITE!

I HAVE STRUCK GOLD!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I sniffed it out with my trusty 56k!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Trolls, I HAVE found the biggest fucking collection of porn you OR I will EVER FIND IN OUR LIVES.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I am TALKING ABOUT Lesbians/strapon, Madonna, and hardcore.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Check it out or mirror it fast before the webmaster plugs the open port up! http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I also found a picture that looks like Ally (but older and legal and independant) [wofut.com] of Spielbergh's Taken.

East Germany (5, Interesting)

hrieke (126185) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890006)

The Statiz (sp? E. German Secret Police) did something like this once. They would take samples of everything and place it in sealed jars so if they needed to track you with the hounds later, they could in theory open the jar with a sample of your sofa in it and let the dogs loose.

Funny thing was that it didn't work.

Re:East Germany (1)

Random Addict (625160) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890140)

hrieke wrote:
The Statiz (sp? E. German Secret Police) did something like this once.

Hmm...perhaps you are thinking along the lines of Staats Polizei? State Police would be a fair translation for that phrase. In this case State referring to the national government rather than a State such as New York. The Nazi's Gestapo was such a police force. The word Gestapo being a German acronym coming from the phrase Geheime Staats Polizei or Homeland State Police. Hmm...Homeland Security Office...no I don't like where we are going at all.

More on topic though...this scent sniffer is probably feasible. It may sound silly now, but the idea is not really that screwy, if you consider what most people thought of the idea of human flight 'round about 1890 or so. We know dogs can identify individual people by scent, so it's not as if the idea is just some screwball notion. At first, the equipment might be bulky and expensive, but that is almost always true of any new technology. The idea is far from useless though as some here have mentioned. The only ray of hope I see as far as this not being realized is the measly 3.2 million dollar appropriation. I would worry far more about it if they were willing to put some real capital into the research. Of course, this is just a call for some initial proposals. They may be willing to go whole hog if some of the proposals end up looking promising.

Better ways to waste 3.2 million bucks (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890017)

You know, if their looking for new and impractical ways of identification, they may as well just make a device that can map you friggin tongues TASTEBUDS....

Orwell is not suprised... nor amused (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890018)

OMG ITS 1984
with mechanical dogs that sniff you out and shoot you with needles full of poison.. damn darpa .. why cant they make something new for once...

YES YES YES ... YES YES .. YES . YES.YES.YES! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890033)

(You'll never stop the bad news!) Trolls of the world, UNITE!

I HAVE STRUCK GOLD!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I sniffed it out with my trusty 56k!

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Trolls, I HAVE found the biggest fucking collection of porn you OR I will EVER FIND IN OUR LIVES.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I am TALKING ABOUT Lesbians/strapon, Madonna, and hardcore.

http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

Check it out or mirror it fast before the webmaster plugs the open port up! http://wofut.com/~tomsmith [wofut.com]

I also found a picture that looks like Ally (but older and legal and independant) [wofut.com] of Spielbergh's Taken.

Showers no longer legal (0)

plasm4 (533422) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890037)

So pretty soon bathing will become illegal because it can be used as a circumvention device. Thrift shops will also become illegal since they will sell "pre-scented" disguises.

Fiction to Science (2)

Quirk (36086) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890050)

The premise was used in a scifi story... sorry I can't recall the book but basically a smartbomb was let loose to track the target by genetically-determined odortype... I don't think perfume can adequately cover the primary body odour.

Re:Fiction to Science (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890070)

Damn, you people can't remember Fahrenheit 451?

In any case, I'm not sure how bozotic this scheme is. Tracking individuals by shed/exhaled DNA (in skin cells, perhaps even breath, etc) is certainly possible (on some level) and interesting, if draconian... going through the trouble of following odor signatures instead seems a bit... sans-clue.

Re:Fiction to Science (2)

Quirk (36086) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890122)

no doubt you're right but I think it was reused in a W. Gibson novel or another cyberpunk writter.

Why (4, Insightful)

Z0mb1eman (629653) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890051)

My guess would be that this would be useful because scent, unlike appearance, is harder to alter. A wanted criminal can just put on some different clothes, maybe grow a beard, etc, and he won't be easily recognized - wear shades, a hat, and he won't be very easy to recognize with any sort of automated system. Other methods of identification - fingerprints or retinal scan - are difficult to apply without the target noticing (and cooperating). I could see machines at airports or bus terminals that "sniff out" anyone who passes by, and if the smell matches with any in its database, bingo... IF the technology works, it could be far more reliable than current methods.

Of course, all this hinges on the idea that slapping on some cheap cologne won't confuse the machine. And I won't go into the privacy/1984/control etc. arguments...

Re:Why (2)

BitHive (578094) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890223)

Ok, then all I need to do as a fugitive is lay low and get new clothes at the thrift store every week. As an additional confound, I can donate all my clothes every few months just to make me harder to pin down.

flying insects that use odor patterns for attack (1)

NynexNinja (379583) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890052)

I see a future where there are flying insect nanobots that attack and inject Vx nerve agents based on genetic odor patterns. It sounds very racist to me.

Re:flying insects that use odor patterns for attac (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890082)

are you telling me that black people smell

posted anonymously.. karma be damned!

This idea stinks! (1)

SparkyMartin (206236) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890053)

But seriously, people do smell differently, and I don't think it just from the food they eat. I have a poor sense of smell but I seem to be sensitive to certain types of odors, by chance all of them kinda gross-maybe it's because I grew up on a farm, who knows?

People who are related genetically seem to have have similar body ordors, so it potentially could be used to distinguish individuals.

If you use deodorant (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890063)

If you use deodorant, you are with the terrorists!!!!

Fahrenheit 451 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890065)

Should I pack my up my books and follow the train tracks out of town?

Because as we all know (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890072)

Crazy Muslims never shower and STINK!!!

How RPN works (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890078)

RPN uses a stack. For example, lets try

(4 + 2)*(7 + 5)

which is

4
Enter 4 is on the stack
2
+ plus puts the 2 on the stack, then adds
we now have 6 on the stack
7
Enter
5
+ we have 6, 12 on the stack

* multiplies 6 by 12

easy! If any slashdotter wants to submit any equations, I'll demonstrate how to enter them in RPN.

Re:How RPN works (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890174)

((12+32)^(4*x))*(3/(x+4))

Re:How RPN works (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890207)

Sure.

I'll do the final product first, then I'll talk my way through it.

((12+32)^(4*x))*(3/(x+4))

is

12 Enter 32 + x Enter 4 * ^ x Enter 4 + # 3 * *

where # is the 1/x key

19 keystrokes for RPN, vs 23 for algerbraic.

Now the explanation:

firstly, we want to put the base on the stack

12 enter 32 + -->44 is on the stack
now we put the power in
4 Enter x *
and raise it
^ --> answer is put on the stack

that's the first part done, now for the 3/(x+4)
x Enter 4 + --> x+4 is put on the stack
(1/x) key -->inverts it
3 * --> times it by 3
* times the whole lot together.

Looks difficult like this, but I recommend you download the HP49 emulator from www.hpcalc.org and try it out. Make sure you set the calc in RPN mode!

i'd be willing to volunteer ... (2)

dlasley (221447) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890081)

some of my daughter's stinky flatulence to aid in the research. she drinks soy milk and eats soy cheese (milk allergies are fun to plan around) and she *definitely* has an odor all her own. anyone got any ideas on the best way to pass along some samples to DARPA? i'd hate to choose a container that failed to retain the potency :-D

IN SOVIET RUSSIA (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890084)

YOU smell the government. And boy, does it ever stink...

on related news... (1)

newsdee (629448) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890096)

...all international flights have updated their menus to include massive amounts of beans.

AromaWeaponry (2)

Quirk (36086) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890101)

Imagine if you will... individuals trained to so control their body odour that they can produce on demand odours triggering fear, love, hate, submission, domination... the boardroom would never be the same and perfume would be antiquated. Join the Army become a B.O. warrior.

Won't work (1)

CPUgrind (630274) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890106)

3.2 million dollars to research this? I will take 1 million to tell them it won't work and they can use the remainder to put into some worthwhile efforts. Scents are not like retinal scans, they would be way to easy to mask or alter.

Taste My Urine, Sniff My Shoes (1)

handy_vandal (606174) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890113)

First they wanted to taste my urine, searching for traces of that whiskey I chugged last night. So I bought an herbal supplement guaranteed to decontaminate my pee.

Now they want to sniff my pheromones. Guess I'll have to pick up a pair of Odor Eaters ....

So what? (2, Interesting)

Tuxinatorium (463682) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890139)

As long as this technology is only used to enforce good laws (i.e., against murder) then there's no problem. They're not going to start getting you for victimless crimes (except drugs and software piracy, maybe). So you have nothing to fear.

Re:So what? (0)

Wingnut64 (446382) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890168)

No offense, but people like you are the reason our gov't is going to hell in a hand basket. Do you honestly belive that they won't tie this in with TIA etc?

Export restrictions on tic-tacs (3, Funny)

Ilan Volow (539597) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890147)

And suddenly the large stockpiles of Old Spice found in Afghan caves seemed a little less ridiculous.

The Nazis had Flare... (1, Interesting)

Wyatt Earp (1029) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890159)

Actually, the East German Stasi had an archive of "smells".

http://www.wsws.org/history/1998/jan1998/gdr.sht ml

"In a country of 17 million, it maintained an army of 200,000 full-time and part-time secret agents to monitor every aspect of the lives of its citizens. The Stasi--or the "nationalised company listen and seize", as it was nicknamed by the people--even collected smell samples from suspicious elements, so it could use dogs to look for them if it wanted to arrest them. The samples were carefully stored in plastic bags. In the Stasi, as in many other fields, efficiency and monstrosity mingled with incompetence."

Stupid government needs to search the databases... (3, Interesting)

Critical_ (25211) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890163)

...of science articles. It is very unlikely that humans have a genetically determined smell. In 1992, Blaustein & Waldman did an experiment on tadpoles to see if they could recognize their kin based on scent. The reasoning behind it was to see if they could in fact be breeding collectively to increase indirect fitness. Out of the 12 species tested, they found that 8 showed a kin bias while 4 didn't. Three species favored full siblings over half siblings, three favored half sibliings over non-siblings, and one favored maternal over paternal siblings. Was it Kin recognition? No. Why? Well there was variable expression of this favoring within species and satistically it wasn't favored at all. In other words, it was an experimetanl artifact.

In 1990, Pfennig et al. repeated the experiment but fed different groups different diets. So non-kin got the same diet and kin recieved different diets. The result? Tadpoles stayed around those that ate the same material because they smelled the same. So it depended on diet rather than a genetic signature. However, further experiments showed that outside of nature, if the environment was completely identical then they could do some rough recognition but this condition never exists in the real world.

I have huge doubts the government will find a connection here. Before someone says that babies recognize the smell of their mothers, I want to say that is a common myth. Babies recognize the heart beat of their mothers and nothing more. What a waste of time and money.

High tech VS animals (2, Funny)

Scrameustache (459504) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890171)

Jeez, get a dog!

Seriously, when I read their specification for a device to enhance soldier performance (Silent engine, can run for hours without refuelin/recharging, will let a soldier carry extra gear, run faster and longer, jump higher and longer), I thought "its called a horse!".

I bet their final product won't even go fetch...

here we go again (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890185)

if you don't try to subdue and control the resources of the rest of the planet, you don't have to do all this shit to your own population. you can still be a free democracy. iceland's been doing it for a couple of years, no?

why no "foot" icon? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890226)

Considering that the article is partially humorous, and the icon for humor is a "stinky" foot, I would consider it more appropriate. ;-)

The STASI did this already, (2, Interesting)

pair-a-noyd (594371) | more than 11 years ago | (#4890227)

just not in such a high tech way.
When the Berlin wall fell and the STASI archives were opened they found zillions of sealed jars of odor samples taken from "suspects" IE citizens..

How quickly people forget.....

IN SOVIET RUSSIA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4890240)

The government consults slashdot headlines for the latest american technology.
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