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Ask Internet Expert Dave Barry

Roblimo posted more than 11 years ago | from the be-glad-you-aren't-a-defenseless-toilet dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 390

This is a man who obviously knows a lot about the Internet. I am not making this up. He wrote a book about it. He has his own blog, his own Web site, and his own online alt.fan newsgroup with its own FAQ. Not only that, he is in a band and writes a syndicated humor column that often covers matters of interest to Slashdot readers. What are you going to ask him? Up to you, as long as you hold it down to one question per post. We'll send Dave 10 of the highest-moderated questions and post his answers as soon as we get them back, after which we're sure many alert readers will have much to add even if they haven't heard about Bennett Haselton's excellent automated Dave Barry column generator.

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390 comments

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Why everything ? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5215970)

I SAY YOU GOT TO TOAST ME. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216158)

bring your pussy face close to my ass

First Post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5215973)

first post!

WOOT!

Null!

Re:First Post (1)

Hentai (165906) | more than 11 years ago | (#5215984)



Which, incidentally, would make an EXCELLENT name for a music group.

Shouldn't that be ... (1, Funny)

burgburgburg (574866) | more than 11 years ago | (#5215978)

syndicated "humor" column?

Re:Shouldn't that be ... (1, Funny)

cloudmaster (10662) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216085)

Only if you're lacking a sense of "humor". :)

Re:Shouldn't that be ... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216197)

Who the f*** are you? I mean, I don't think of myself as being stupid or anything, but I've never heard of you.

+1 Insightful (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5215980)

Hey, does anybody know why Slashdot's been slow lately? For the last week or so I've been having trouble loading pages.

Re:+1 Insightful (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216088)

I'm using Moz 1.2.1 on Linux... takes almost 45 seconds to load.

Same machine only takes 5 seconds to load using Konqueror.

My TiBook and Moz 1.2.1 along w/ Safari... all normal (5 seconds).

Same w/ Moz on WinNT4... normal.

Only Moz on Linux... slowed to a crawl starting about 10 days ago.

I've had trouble too (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216134)


Moz on Lunix (RH 8.0 base), as well as IE 6 on Win2k pro, and IE 5.5 on Mac OS X 10.2. All are slooooow. (We're behind multiple T-3s so it's not BW). I'm concerned that /. is having its resource base cut back by VA.

Question: (4, Interesting)

Gortbusters.org (637314) | more than 11 years ago | (#5215990)

In what way will the internet change daily life in the months and years to come - will we see an increasing amount of wireless access on phones with web content to follow? Online Voting? 3d porn? What are your predictions?

Re:Question: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216083)

Sorry, modded down--this was a compound question.

in a band? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5215991)

As most of the people in the Rock Bottom Remainders admit, RBR is hardly a band but more of a way for these authors to play music, have fun, and raise money for their cauases. Which is a good thing of course. But there's a certain measure of self deprecating humor in the RBR.

3rd post! (-1)

thr0d ps1t (641973) | more than 11 years ago | (#5215992)

This thr0d ps1t is brought to you by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's Model Thr00 Thr0d Ps1t Generator.

Share and enjoy!

Not making this up. (1, Troll)

cheezus (95036) | more than 11 years ago | (#5215993)

You're really just making all that stuff up, right?

Re:Not making this up. (0, Offtopic)

Gortbusters.org (637314) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216037)

God I hope so.. guess news [gortbusters.org] is slow today.

Woo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5215994)

What no comments? Five minutes?? Is Dave Barry so repulsive that I get first? Woo!

Big Trouble (5, Interesting)

kin_korn_karn (466864) | more than 11 years ago | (#5215998)

How did you feel when the studio refused to release the film of "Big Trouble" after 9/11? Did you think it appropriate to hold the release?

Re:Big Trouble (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216149)

And when will they sanction a UK release date?

What does Dave think about... (3, Funny)

MadCow-ard (330423) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216002)

The Tooth phone [time.com] . I would just love to hear (arh arh) his take on it.

Childhood dream? (4, Interesting)

coldmist (154493) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216004)

Dave,

So, when you were a little kid, were you the class clown type, where all of your humor come naturally and you flaunted it in the lunchroom or in the halls, whether everyone else was laughing at you or not?

Seriously, did you want to become a humourous writer/author when you were a child? When did you realize it could be a viable career?

Thx,
Ryan

What about Steven King? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216194)

Dave, how did you react to the news on talk radio this morning that noted horror author and your bandmate Steven King was found dead at his cabin in Maine?

Although I was not personally a fan of his, there is no denying his contributions to popular culture. He was truly an American icon.

two first names? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216005)

does it suck haveing two first names, and no last name?

Monkey Island (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216008)

Do you think something like multiplayer monkey island would do better then say Doom 3?

News Group? (0, Troll)

dfn5 (524972) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216010)

and his own online alt.fan newsgroup with its own FAQ

I don't ever remember seeing alt.davebarry.die.die.die

Dave's World (4, Interesting)

doc_traig (453913) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216012)

Recently it was announced that Tony Kornheiser, another well-known columnist, might be the subject of a situation comedy going into development. Were you pleased overall with how you were portrayed in the television series based on your life, Dave's World? [imdb.com] How did you feel when it left the air? Is it in syndication anywhere these days?

My Question for Dave: (-1)

Randolpho (628485) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216013)

Ok, Dave, since you're the expert on the internet, give it to us straight: the internet was designed strictly for porn, right?

When you vote.... (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216014)

When you vote, do you vote for the candidate that is going to make your job easier as a humor columnist? Or do you actually try to vote for the best canditate?

Can you say something funny about (-1, Troll)

wiredog (43288) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216017)

the Space Shuttle?

Re:Can you say something funny about (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216057)

No but he can probably come up with a few zingers for jackasses who post stupid things to Slashdot...

Re:Can you say something funny about (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216157)

No, but you can get assfucked by a gay orangutan. I bet you are jacking off thinking of that right now you friggin' son of a bitch.

Why is he so frickin corny? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216023)

I mean, he's about as funny as a kernel panic, yet the newspapers keep running his ZZZZZZ boring columns. Who is reading this crud?

Fair Use (4, Interesting)

Overt Coward (19347) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216024)

What are your (as opposed to your publisher's) opinion on the subject of fair use as it applies to your weekly column? Do you have a problem with people qoting parts (or all) of it in email and via their web sites?

Re:Fair Use (-1, Troll)

Gortbusters.org (637314) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216058)

The FAQ says his works are not public domain... but looking at his review of LoTR2 (the link in the story to what slashdot readers like)... who would want to use that in any way or form?!

Re:Fair Use (1)

AndroidCat (229562) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216168)

There were a number of Dave Berry quotes in the Slackware fortune cookie file. (Don't know if there still are.)

-1, Forgot to proofread (0, Redundant)

Overt Coward (19347) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216190)

If the parent comment is selected as a question, will someone please use this corrected version:

What is your (as opposed to your publisher's) opinion on the subject of fair use as it applies to your weekly column? Do you have a problem with people quoting parts (or all) of it in email and via their web sites?

Hiroshima (5, Interesting)

Bonker (243350) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216030)

Mr. Barry... I own several of your books, as well as a copy of the 'Big Trouble' movie. (I hope you're getting some kind of royalties for that...). In all of your writing, the piece that I felt was the most powerful was your segment on visting Hiroshima in 'Dave Barry does Japan' and witnessing the holiday celbrated in rememberance of the bombing.

You've written a few more very serious pieces, such as the column on your visit to one of the 9-11 crash sites.

My question is why do you not do more serious columns and articles like these more often? While I think that your columns and humor articles are great (milk-through the nose funny, frequently) I can't help but feel that the Hiroshima and 9-11 articles were better.

What do you think of Wil Wheaton? (4, Interesting)

Argyle (25623) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216038)

Many celebrities present a technologically aloof public persona.

A few, like you, Wil, Bill Shatner, Moby, Adam Curry, etc. openly embrace technology and don't fear the 'geek' label.

What's your take on the state of celebrity & personal technology. Are most celebrities to dumb to run a Tivo or use eBay?

Re:What do you think of Wil Wheaton? (0)

Bonker (243350) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216124)

My wife recently watched an interview with Stevie Nicks. Despite having the wealth necessary to buy and maintain a huge personal home theatre system, as well as a completely wired home, she can't do anything with it. In fact, if what my wife told me was correct, she has two maids who live in her house to do nothing but operate-- not administer computer servers, mind you-- operate all of Ms. Nicks home electronics.

Slashdot Effect (5, Funny)

Shadow Wrought (586631) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216042)

Do you think that the phrase "Slashdot Effect" would make a great name for a band?

Band names (2, Funny)

Rellik66 (596729) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216070)

or how about 'CmdrTaco and the Slashdotters'?

Re:Band names (1)

Shadow Wrought (586631) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216180)

Yes! That's even better! Wish I had thought of that...

Re:Band names (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216195)

How about "Cowboy Neal and his First Posts"?

I still think that H.P. Lovecraft is a kickass name for a rock 'n roll band. Or perhaps Orange Tabby Cult. Or Dr. Strangelove

Personal Technology Wishes (5, Interesting)

Nonsanity (531204) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216047)


Looking forward based on today's cutting-edge research (the sort of news Slashdot often reports), what technology do you find yourself impatient to get your hands on today, or which technologies aren't advancing as fast as you would wish?

Nonsanity

Pop Tart Flamethrowers (5, Funny)

govtcheez (524087) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216049)

I've read your various comlumns on how to turn an ordinary toaster into a flamethrower using only a strawberry Pop-Tart. I think there's a large market for this - would you be interested in mass producing pastry-powered weapons with me? If you're against the idea of creating weapons, do you know how we could make the flame-throwing toaster into something else useful, perhaps having welding applications? I think it's safe to say a successful New Economy will be based upon Pop-Tarts, and we should really move to it before it's too late.

Dave? Who he? (0, Funny)

u38cg (607297) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216052)

Who the f*** are you? I mean, I don't think of mysel;f as being stupid or anything, but I've never heard of you. Why are you being interviewed on Slashdot, as opposed to, say, my uncle Simon?

Re:Dave? Who he? (3, Funny)

volpe (58112) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216101)


Why are you being interviewed on Slashdot, as opposed to, say, my uncle Simon?

You think Dave should be interviewed on your uncle Simon?

Re:Dave? Who he? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216127)

In the words of Churchill:

You sir, are an idiot.

I have a question (1)

Bendebecker (633126) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216053)

Since when does having a lot of rants up on the Internet mean you know anything about the Internet? I know a lot of AOL users with large web pages but that doesn't mean they are expert web designers or anything. So what's so special about having all that stuff on the Internet that makes you think you actually know something?

Re:I have a question (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216181)

The man is ahead of his time. You need to leave Slashdot and go back to FuckedCompany with all the rest of the trash.

So what is Mr. Chuckletrousers up to these days? (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216055)

What has become of Mr. Chuckletrousers, both the friend you directed that name towards and the real life Chuckletrousers?

I am typing this on the Intarnet!

Status of low-flow toilet legislation? (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216059)

Dave, what is the status of your brave and lonely campaign to rescind the low-flow toilet legislation?

Publishing in the future (5, Interesting)

Salo2112 (628590) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216061)

Can you forsee a day where you as an established columnist will publish all of your books and columns via your own web page and not via creator's syndicate (or whoever you use)?

What do you want to be when you grow up? (1, Interesting)

Embedded Geek (532893) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216067)

From the writeup for this thread, you wear many hats and do many things. Although we could interpret this as an inability to hold down a steady job, for the moment we'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're still just trying to find your niche.

If that's the case, what do you want to be when you grow up?
[/tongue in cheek]

Question (3, Funny)

niom (638987) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216071)

Why do you use italics so much?

Re:Question (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216187)

This is ONTOPIC! I love (luv) Dave Barry to death (RIP) but why does he use so much italics?

Do you think (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216072)

"The Slashdot Effect" would be an excellent name for a rock band?

Here's a question (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216073)

Given that anyone can make their own blog, website, or even write a book about the internet; how is asking you questions "News for Nerds" or "Stuff that matters."

Guitar (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216075)

So who's really the better guitarist? You or Stephen???

Space Shuttle Humor (seriously) (5, Interesting)

RealBeanDip (26604) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216079)

From your blog:

"I have an odd little connection to the Columbia: It once carried a book of mine into space."

That is very cool. I've read some of your books and columns over the years and find your work very, very funny.

My question is this; humorists such as yourself can sometimes find humor in the most horrific of events. How do you find humor in events that are obviously touchy? Do you think finding humor in something like this will help people heal?

I have another question.... (5, Funny)

Bendebecker (633126) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216080)

Seeing how he's now dead, do you think we have seen the end of Dick Nixon's political career?

Re:I have another question.... (1)

Politburo (640618) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216170)

If Futurama is anywhere near accurate, sadly we haven't.

Who are we? (5, Interesting)

chrysrobyn (106763) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216081)

Mr. Barry,

As a nationally syndicated author, you're in quite a high profile position. I have no doubt that, had this interview not come up, you'd be busy doing things you get paid to do.

That said, why did you agree to do this interview? Did you think it would be a neat thing to do? Is this another way for people to learn about your column, or are you learning more about what's on the minds of your readers? Are we going to get our own article written about us (no doubt that would be a funny and possibly humbling experience)? As someone from "the outside world", do you see us as a bunch of people with wide backgrounds and experiences, or are we the teenage boy group that TV tells us owns and authors the internet?

Re:Who are we? (5, Funny)

Mr Guy (547690) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216166)

Also, if you respond to this interview while drunk, is there the dangerous possibility your drinks would be tax deductable?

Difficult to be funny? (5, Interesting)

sammy.lost-angel.com (316593) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216084)

A lot goes on in peoples lives, whether it's horrible events (such as 9/11 or recently the space shuttle blowing up), or personal events (we've all had these). Do you ever find yourself having trouble being funny, and what do you do to cure this problem?

Internet supplies dwindling! (3, Funny)

gornar (572285) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216090)

Sure, Bush is passing hundreds of millions of dollars for research into hydrogen fuel cell technology to halt dependence on oil. But what about experts' [peta.org] claims that supplies of The Internet will run dry by 2018? Do you, as America's foremost lobbyist to Congress, know of any pending legislation to address this threat?

Contingency (4, Interesting)

Bonker (243350) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216091)

One question per post... ehehe....

Mr. Barry, as we all know, the Internet is slowly killing paper news media, along with cable news. Internet news sites can carry more material, archive it an available format longer, and can target the news to a much finer-grained audience than a newspaper can hope to do. Humour in the form of comic strips or humour articles like yours can come in a much-wider array of content, and can be targeted at any subject or audiences accustomed to any level of acceptable content.

My local paper recently began to distribute free copies in an effort to revive spiraling circulation rates. This signals to me that all but the largest papers are beginning to feel the pinch from internet news and media distribution most keenly. I suspect that in the near future, only the largest papers will survive (MH possibly being one of those) and that online news sources will be accepted as the preferred method for news delivery.

Assuming that your job as a columnist for a paper should go away, what contingency plans do you have to continue to ply your craft in a completely wired world? (I already read your columns online rather than in the print version of the MH or my local paper.)

Yet another question: (2, Funny)

Bendebecker (633126) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216104)

Have you ever had to describe your Internet persona? For example, when someone asks you at a party about what you do on the web, do you say something like "Yeah, I'm the Captain Kirk of the Internet!"?

Obvious Question (5, Interesting)

Alien54 (180860) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216108)

What would be your ideal solution for Spam (as in Internet Junk E-mail?)

I've had a good response to the idea of an internet spammer hunting license or season, complete with cute orange ear tags for the spammers.

here's a question (-1)

IAgreeWithThisPost (550896) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216111)

why is linux so dead and why does slashdot seem to be down all the time now?

hmm..could it be...nah..the nerds are too arrogant to admit that.

Questions for the Expert (5, Funny)

theghost (156240) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216123)

Dave - I keep hearing people complain about "privacy issues" when they talk about the internet. Since you're an Expert, i thought i'd ask you about it. What are these "privacy issues" and should we be worried about them?

I also wanted to ask about SPAM, since you are an Expert. I got lots of neat offers for goods and services every day, from sexually adventurous women (and men, and women and men, and animals, and women and animals, and men and animals, and women and men and animals, and turnips, and - you get the picture) to desperate Nigerians who need help moving their family fortunes out of their war-torn country. But i've never received any SPAM. What is SPAM (besides a tasty treat) and why is everyone always complaining about it?

One final question. You are an Expert who is in a band and has been involved with movies. Are the RIAA and MPAA really a bunch of soul-sucking ghouls whose Machiavellian business practices enslave artists and consumers alike just so that the top executives can buy new multi-million-dollar penises (penisii?) - i mean - homes and cars, or are they a bunch of fun-loving nuts who just want people to enjoy high-quality art (like the sci-fi thriller, "Jason X", and the equally astounding, "Britney Spears' Breasts") at a reasonable price, so they can devote their much-deserved income to feeding the hungry, and promoting liberty and justice for all?

Shameless (yet really totally sincere) brown nosing: DAVE BARRY RULEZ!

Is this research? (5, Funny)

duckpoopy (585203) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216126)

Are you going to reprint the stupidest questions in your column?

I wouldn't cross the street to see Dave Barry..... (-1, Flamebait)

drdanny_orig (585847) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216128)

... even if he was on fire.

How much fame? (5, Interesting)

cpeikert (9457) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216130)

Dave,

are you often recognized "on the street"? What I mean is, you're obviously very famous and have tons of fans. But at the same time, I get the sense that you have more of a "cult" following and maybe aren't as well-recognized as, say, Ben Affleck or Chris Rock. Do you have to change your daily routine to avoid being swarmed by adoring fans, or do or do you enjoy relative anonymity in your daily life?

PS - you recently wrote that Michigan ranked among the stupidest states because we have an "official state soil." I heartily agree, but boy did your column provoke some angry letters in the Kalamazoo Gazette!

MY BURNING QUESTION (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216133)

Have you ever been to the end of the Internet? How's the view there? Which protocol would you like to see revived with full force: finger or gopher?

Blogs (5, Interesting)

Mr Guy (547690) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216137)

As a newspaper columnist, noted author, and booger specialist, is the concept of privacy a major issue for you? Do you have trouble reconciling your desire for privacy with having millions of people intimately familiar with your life (Ie Your articles on your son getting hit by a car almost brought me to tears, in the same way we all felt like we as a nation knew Bill Cosby's son)?

Question (2, Funny)

Jim Buzbee (517) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216140)


Are you making these questions up?

Internet Ads (1)

unmadindu (524636) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216142)

So, since you are an expert about the Internet, how do you feel about pop up ads and about the ads from "Yahoo Personals" (tm) like this [yimg.com] ?

DEAR MISTER DAVE BARRY: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216143)

What was the name of your 10th grade math teacher? Because I went to Pleasantville High School (why are the panthers green, anyway?) also and had the same teacher, but I can't remember what his name was for the life of me. I graduated a long long long long long long long time ago - 1996 - so give me a break.

When do you think... (1)

ewanrg (446949) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216144)

... that "Dave's World" will start airing on "Nick at Night"?

Government (4, Funny)

cpeikert (9457) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216146)

Dave,

you've written many hilarious columns about the foibles of the Federal Government. Isn't this like shooting fish in a barrel?

Opinion of television (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216150)

Does it make people stupid? For example, during the shuttle tragedy, you could tell who watched a lot of TV that day. Those people sounded like the news anchormen. Big fluffy, hollow, rambling, pseudo-emotional statements. Regular human beings don't talk like that to each other.

The people need to know!! (4, Interesting)

Noryungi (70322) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216152)

Mac or PC?

Linux or Windows?

Returning to movies? (5, Interesting)

mcc (14761) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216154)

Mr. Barry:

I was rather surprised and impressed by the random out-of-nowhere short story near the end of the Dave Barry in Cyberspace book, and have been kind of wondering since then what would happen if you tried to write anything in a longer format than the standard columns. ( Big Trouble sounds really cool, but I haven't gotten around to picking up a copy yet :) )

Anyway, my question is: Do you have plans to write any more fiction, and is it possible we could see any more movies from you in the future after what happened with Big Trouble?

And do you still write newspaper articles for the Herald outside the scope of the column?

---

Heh. Physics. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216156)

Mod me offtopic, but I have to get this out.

I think I reached enlightenment in my physics class today.

FrictionForce = ì * NormalForce
Ffr = (mu)*Fn
Reading this in my physics class, us in the front row realized this is the best way to remember it: associate it with sex. Friction during sex is good. So, Ffr = mu*Fn.
Get it yet? Fur (e) mu*fn... furry muffin...

I just had to get it out to the /. community... what do you think?

music with Stephan King? (5, Funny)

evenprime (324363) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216162)

What's it like playing in a band with Stephan King? Is he always trying to change the set list at gigs and replace 'Louie Louie' with goth music?

Dear Dave.. (2, Interesting)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216165)

I was greatly impressed with Dave Barry Does Japan. I had the luck to meet you and and ask if you had any plans to travel Europe and give it a similar treatment. You indicated no plans to, but I'd like to know if you have since changed your mind (or your publisher has), or if you're most comfortable in the U.S. (and/or Cyberspace) and plan to focus your creative energies there.

Regards,
A longtime reader and fan

Cliche central (5, Interesting)

seizer (16950) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216169)

Someone's got to ask this kind of cliched question so why not me? It'll give you a chance to untap some of those as yet untapped humour reserves :-)

If you could meet any person, dead or alive, fictional or real, then who would it be, and what would you talk about?

High Tech wizzardry (2, Interesting)

McSnickered (67307) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216171)

Dear Dave,

Do you have any plans to follow up your spine-tingling Man vs. Machine anagram contest with other Man vs. Technology competitions?

Very Truly Yours,
McSnickered

Cybersex (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216175)

What forms of protection are needed?

Dear Mr. Language Person... (0)

Rick.C (626083) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216183)

When is it proper to capitalize "Internet"? And why do geeks tend to put the punctuation outside the quotes?

Ask internet porn star Dave Bury (1)

stienman (51024) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216184)

So... Like... You know that one column, you know - that column? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, was that - uh - you know, real? I mean, really real? Or were you all fakin' and stuff - 'cause I wouldn't feel bad if you had to - you know, fake it. It's not like it's something to be ashamed of. Just thought I'd ask.

-Adam

Breaking hearts and crashing computers since - hey, Modern Marvels is on. Cool.

Question:Changing views (4, Interesting)

h2oliu (38090) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216186)

As you grow older, start having children, etc. Has you view on the internet adn all of these tools changed dramatically? For example, now that you have a child, does better parental controls appeal to you more?

How exactly do you get a job like this (-1, Flamebait)

rudy_wayne (414635) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216188)

Where you get paid to write crap that is neither humorous, entertaining or informative? Is there bribery involved? Sex with "the right people"?

Question (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216191)

Corporations, more and more every day, claim they made the internet. They are trying to convince the masses that if it wasn't for them, the intenet wouldn't had existed in the first place and that "it's just another one of their great services".

But the only thing corporations have contributed to the internet is pollution in the search engines, silly banners, spam, DNS confusion, etc.

What is you opinion on this?
DO you belive that one day in 100 years from now, history will be so twisted that our grandchildren will believe that Al Gore made the internet?

Running for President in 2004? (1, Interesting)

thelenm (213782) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216193)

Will you be running for President in 2004? Every four years, I vote for you and encourage everyone I know to do the same.

Can I really use the Internet... (-1, Troll)

MissMyNewton (521420) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216201)

...to make money fast and get hot naked chicks?? If so, please add me to your mailing list!

Life imitating humor (2, Interesting)

mttlg (174815) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216218)

With so many aspects of our society bringing absurdity to new levels, have you ever written a humor article that ran the risk of the label "It would be funny if it weren't true"? Is there a point at which people will become so desensitized to humor through the sheer mass of stupidity and insanity that defines humanity that you could find yourself out of a job?

Judge Harry T. Stone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5216220)

Did you have any objection to Harry Anderson playing you on TV? I mean, that guy is out there!

Urinals (5, Funny)

Kaz Riprock (590115) | more than 11 years ago | (#5216234)


If there are 4 urinals in the bathroom and I number them from the left, assuming that 1 and 3 are in use, which urinal should I use to abide by the rules?
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