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300 Episodes of the Simpsons

Hemos posted more than 11 years ago | from the eat-my-shorts dept.

Television 697

circletimessquare writes "As we approach 300 Episodes of the Simpsons, Entertainment Weekly tries to pick the 25 best episodes of The Simpsons (and the one episode they consider the worst). They do a pretty good job. But since "best of" lists like this one are always rife with debate and contention, I can't think of a better place than Slashdot to send up EW (pun partially intended)."

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Slashdot is broken (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240483)

Why is it broken


Favorite quote: (0)

levik (52444) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240491)

APU: "Mister Simpson, please do not offer my got a peanut."

Re:Favorite quote: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240589)

got? i'm pretty sure he didn't say that.

Re:Favorite quote: (3, Funny)

levik (52444) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240642)

Ummm... Yeah... that should say:

Apu: "Mister Simpson, please do not offer my GOD a peanut."

Stupud tipo.

Re:Favorite quote: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240678)

Stupid TYPO, not tipo.

Re:Favorite quote: (1)

Tesseracti (468896) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240740)

This is absolutely my favorite quote of all time. (Especially since I'm Indian :) But, no one I know can remember the episode it's from. Do you happen to remember?

Re:Favorite quote: (1)

rgmoore (133276) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240719)

"Now pay for your purchase and get out!"
"And come again."

Not bad, but... (2, Insightful)

lukpac (66596) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240502)

Homer's Phobia number 5? I wonder if they felt they had to throw in a later episode or two to make it more "balanced". While some of those aren't bad, I know I would have had more from seasons 2-6 or so.

Re:Not bad, but... (5, Interesting)

The Only Druid (587299) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240713)

It says something about a show that the best episodes are almost exclusively from several years ago.

Before I'm modded down for heresy, I adore The Simpsons. Yet, I still believe that the show was far greated from seasons 3-7 than from 8-today. The show has lost its ability to be intellectual at the same degree, in losing writers such as Conan O'Brian.

Frankly, I'm not entirely sure they should keep making the series: Homer is now retarded (whereas he's merely simple in the beginning), Homer has no Job (or actually, he's had well over 70 jobs, as listed in a recent episode...which means roughly a quarter of the episodes have been "Homer becomes a "), they no longer make subtle erudite references...its falling apart.

Springfield U (0, Redundant)

Clock Nova (549733) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240503)

Homer goes to College! Best Epiosode Ever!

Re:Springfield U (1)

Lxy (80823) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240643)

Real college or Clown college?

IMHO, the clown college was the better of the two, YMMV.

Re:Springfield U (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240663)

> Homer goes to College! Best Epiosode Ever!

Worst spelling ever!

Best. Episode. Ever. (0)

Pave Low (566880) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240504)

They didn't include the episode where Homer goes back to college (one of the ones from the early 90s). One of the best ever.

The Simpsons now suck really hard. It's all pop culture crap now.

Excellent (4, Insightful)

jayhawk88 (160512) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240506)

Last Exit to Springfield, Marge v. Monorail, and Cape Feare all in the Top 5? I hate to say it, but EW actually seems to have gotten things right.

No more deer for a week (5, Funny)

Elvisisdead (450946) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240508)

Homer: "OK, no more deer for a week"
Marge: " Homer, did you say deer or beer?"
Homer: "Deer."

Re:No more deer for a week (2, Funny)

Marco_polo (160898) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240674)

My all time favorite:

Homer: D'oh
Marge: A Deer!
Lisa: A Female Deer!

Re:No more deer for a week (4, Funny)

simong_oz (321118) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240723)

MARGE: "Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday."
HOMER: "Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!"

Bah! (2, Funny)

RPoet (20693) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240512)

That site crashes my Mozilla.

Concur. (1)

Xner (96363) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240558)

Shells out when i click the link to page two. Version 1.2b with XFT.

Re:Bah! (1)

MrDingusMcGee (590397) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240577)

Crashes my mozilla too when I try to go to the 2nd page...then again, a LOT of sites crash mozilla, especially with the java plugin installed ( for one).

Anybody mind posting the list here? Get free good karma by helping a pasty brotha' out.

I can say that I would have put Lisa the Vegetarian in my top 5, but what do I know, Im' not a nationally syndicated, magazine.

Re:Bah! (2, Funny)

Thurog (592871) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240595)

Interesting, as it features a Netscape Network toolbar on top.

Viva la conspiracion!

Re:Bah! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240626)

Works fine in Mozilla 1.2.1.

(Still waiting for 1.3b)

Re:Bah! (1)

RPoet (20693) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240637)

That's what I'm using.

Re:Bah! (1)

EricWright (16803) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240724)

WFM with Phoenix 0.5 and WinNT 4 and with Safari/MacOSX.

Re:Bah! (0, Offtopic)

jaavaaguru (261551) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240699)

Phoenix with XFT doesn't like it. Is it possibly XFT related? Netscape 7.01 without XFT doesn't have a problem.

halloween episodes. (2, Insightful)

uglyjack (639541) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240514)

Oh dag. If they even try to put the Treehouse of Horrors on that list. The worst episode IS the bowling one with Marge and the french guy.

Re:halloween episodes. (1, Insightful)

Alizarin Erythrosin (457981) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240714)

The Halloween ones are actually usually pretty good. I really liked the first one when they did their take of The Raven. Plus, you can't forget the drooling aliens.

And I agree about the bowling one, it was kinda bad.

My favorite... (1)

airrage (514164) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240520)

I've love the simpsons mostly due in part to their use of literary allusions, pop-culture, and stereotypes. But probably the funniest episode was the one where Troy McClure, aka Phil Hartman, explains the food chain, which shows a Shark jumping out of the water and eating a Gorilla hanging from a tree. Nearly peed my pants.

Re:My favorite... (2, Funny)

Q-Branch (554342) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240562)

Wow, Troy McClure. I remember him from such specials as "Out With Gout '88" and "Save Tony Orlando's House"

Re:My favorite... (1)

govtcheez (524087) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240698)

Also, you may remember him from such self-help videos as "Smoke yourself thin!" and "Get confident, stupid!"

Re:My favorite... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240625)

Does anyone here like the ones that prominently feature songs? Not ones like the X-files one, which has a little song at the end, but ones where a majority of the show IS a song. Its about the only think I don't like about the Simpsons.

NRA 4 EVER (1)

Root Down (208740) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240527)

Anyone know what the cash register really says when they scan Maggie in the opening credits? It is not, I repeat not "NRA 4 EVER" as often rumored. (That was actually started by the creators in the first place... and we all know that cartoonists are shifty.) Anyway, someone with spare time and a DVD (or *cough* illegal *cough* copies on their computer) player might easily figure it out...

Re:NRA 4 EVER (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240574)

ah, just press the screenshot button on your remote... with some practice you will be able to get the timing right once out of 5 tries

Re:NRA 4 EVER (5, Informative)

gotroot801 (7857) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240580)

From the List of Inquiries and Substantive Answers [] , aka the FAQ:

How much does Maggie cost in the opening titles?

Maggie is listed as costing $847.63, a figure once given as the amount of money required to raise a baby for one month in the US.

Re:NRA 4 EVER (1)

VictimlessChris (562438) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240584)

The cash register says something like 817.63. I don't remember the exact number, but it definitly does not say "NRA4EVER", at least in the Simpsons Season 2 DVD. Perhaps in a later episode/season they changed it.

Re:NRA 4 EVER (1)

cide1 (126814) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240604)

I have the DVDs for the first two seasons and have looked. I couldn't make out anything, and neither could my friend who is a Simpson's fanatic as well. I think that it might be possible that it only said NRA 4 EVER in one episode. Im waiting for the DVD's of the rest of the seasons to come out, before I give up on the search.

Re:NRA 4 EVER (2, Funny)

micromoog (206608) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240617)

It says "$847.63", which was the officially published cost at the time of one month of baby raisin'.

Re:NRA 4 EVER (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240704)

That was just a joke for the 138th episode spectacular. Matt Groening isn't really an angry old southern man with an eyepatch either.

One, Two, Three: What Are We Fightin' For? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240529)

Apologies to Country Joe McDonald

Fixin To D'Iraq Rag

Uncle Sam had a Pit bull named Saddam G
Gave em US arms to attack Iran C
Then Saddam found a taste for spoils G
Invaded Kuwait to take their oil C
Bush Sr. responded with Desert Storm A D
But he only did a half-assed job. G C

And its One, Two, Three, what are we fightin for? D G C
Donít ask me, I donít give a damn, next stop is Iraq land. C G C
And its Five, Six Seven, open up the pearly gate, D G C
Aint no time to wonder why A D
Whoopee, were all gonna die.

Twenty-first century wealth is tight G
America has squandered its industrial might C
A new golden rule is heard G
Control energy and rule the world C
Dictators and tyrants we tolerate A D
Unless we covet their oil G C


In the New World Order war's not the same
Battle is now a big video game
It's a smart bomb high technology war
We guarantee no blood and gore
The Iraqi people will take the hit
We'll blow em all to Aphghanistan.


Re:One, Two, Three: What Are We Fightin' For? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240615)

I thought it was "next stop Afghanistan"? Oh wait, that was last year. My bad. Yeah carnage!!!

I bent my wookie. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240540)

That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He told me to burn things.

Arrr (1)

DasAlbatross (633390) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240547)

This chair be high, says I.

Like Fine Wine... (4, Interesting)

cancrman (24472) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240548)

The greatest thing about the Simpsons is how well the show has aged in syndication. I firmly believe that it takes 3-4 viewings of an ep to really catch all of the nuances. Even newer episodes, which some view as a bit weak, really shine in syndication. Hey it's either that or watch Fraiser reruns. That said, there are numerous omissions from this list.

Other Classics:
Two Bad Neighbors (s7)
Bart vs. Australia (s6)
Deep Space Homer (s5)
Homers Enemy (s8)
2 dozen and 1 greyhounds -- best song ever (see my vest)
Brother From another Series -- "..those years at clown college" "I appreciate you not refer to Princeton that way"
$pringfield "I think we'll keep those jars of urine"
Colonel Homer "The don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumbass army guy"

Anyway, I could do this all day but I think you get my point. (Quotes courtesy of The Simpsons Archive [] ).

As for eps that shouldn't have been included in the top 25: THOH, Spin-Off Special & Homer's Phobia. But this is purely subjective, so no flames please.

I do agree with they're pick for worst ep though

Re:Like Fine Wine... (1)

EricWright (16803) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240666)

I don't know if I agree with WEO. I think Gump Roast (S13E17) takes the cake there... very lame episode.

My personal highlight was (I shamefully forgot the episode) the one where Homer, Marge and Lisa are rushing to the Springfield Tar Pits when Homer runs over a statue of a deer:

H: D'oh!
M: A deer!
L: A female deer!

Oy, that nearly made me spew the first time I saw it...

Re:Like Fine Wine... (2, Interesting)

VictimlessChris (562438) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240676)

I agree with most of the above mentioned omissions from the list, although I feel that "Bart After Dark" (Burlesque House) and "Homer the Great" (Stonecutters) should have also made the list. These were some really great, and very funny episodes. Although I agree with the above suggestion that the Spin-off Special shouldn't have been included, I feel Homer's Phobia was a really great episode that dealt with a lot of typical sterotypes/reactions that the public has about gays.

Best episode ever (4, Funny)

Apreche (239272) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240549)

I haven't looked at their picks yet, but I know the best episode ever.

The halloween special with the shinning. It's got 3 super hilarious quotes and is overall the best episode ever.

"no beer no tv make homer something something"
"shhhh, you wanna get suuuued?"
"that's willy's time!"

Homer collects unemployment (4, Interesting)

scubacuda (411898) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240550)

Definitely the one where Homer gets fat in order to collect unemployment.

On a side note, I know that Conan O'Brian wrote several of them (like the monorail one, I think). Does anyone know/have a list of those? And did any other famous people (co)write them also?

Re:Homer collects unemployment (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240659)

"ohh, all this computer hacking is making me thirsty" ....
"mmm tab" ....
"Hey! where's my tab ?"

Re:Homer collects unemployment (4, Informative)

EricWright (16803) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240690)

For all things Simpsons, head on over to

Ralph Wiggum (2, Funny)

Gambrinus (103988) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240556)

Ralph (Wearing a sign taped to him saying "IDAHO"): I'm Idaho!

Ralph: Help! She's touching my special area!


Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240560)


quotes (4, Informative)

Lxy (80823) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240563)

And of course, it wouldn't be complete without the top 50 Simpsons quotes: []

So when... (1)

Corrupt System (636550) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240565) we get to see the first live episode?

Overstaying their welcome... (0, Flamebait)

MamasGun (602953) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240572)

The last Simpsons episode I found funny was the one where Marge tried to close down the town's brothel. The Simpsons need to be put out of their misery. They jumped the shark [] 5 years ago. (Yeah they're on the "never jumped" list but they don't belong there) I suppose they are trying to go for some sort of record for longevity but damn, man...give it a rest. Just my not-so-humble opinion.

Ralph Wiggum as a /. poster... (3, Funny)

VitrosChemistryAnaly (616952) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240573)

Me post first? That's unpossible...

My favorites weren't on there! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240575)

My brother and I both agree, Tomacco and the one with medicinal marijuana are our favorites, neither of which is on there... doh!


Simpson's is too deep for most people (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240576)

Ever hear somebody say "Simpson's? that's a stupid show!". I have. I ask them if they watch it. They always say "no, it's stupid".

Simpson's is the deepest show ever on American TV. Homer is the composite American male.

To beer, the cause of and answer to all of life's problems.

Re:Simpson's is too deep for most people (5, Insightful)

handsomepete (561396) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240630)

The Simpsons was one of the deepest shows on American TV. Now it's a Saturday morning cartoon starring Captain Wacky (aka Homer). I use to watch it religiously, participate in forums, even did some work and article writing for a Simpsons website. Now the show seems so geared towards an age group far younger than mine, I hardly bother trying to catch it anymore.

IMHO, Entertainment Weekly did a fine job of picking episodes - much better than most publications do. Now if only the writers would pick up on that and say, "Maybe we should start doing that sort of thing again."

EH? (0)

Rosonowski (250492) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240578)

...(and the one episode they consider the worst)...

In my best "Comic Book Guy" voice:

"Worst Episode Ever!"

/me ducks

Cock Enlargement (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240581)

I have, I suppose, like all men, wondered what it would be like to have a larger cock. I have, once again, like a lot of people seen the 'freaks' in porno movies who have horse like dicks and thought to myself - 'That can't be normal, most people aren't like that surely.'

But in the back of your mind, you always wonder. Now let me say from the outset that I have nothing in my pants to brag about and although through the years I seem to have been able to satisfy most of the women I have been with, there has never been more than one or two who have, afterwards, made favourable comments either about my length, girth, performance or stamina although they have commented favourably about the over all performance. Perhaps they were just being kind not saying much at all.

Yes, I could say it is because they were so fucking exhausted, they couldn't say anything, but of course that would be lying. I suppose though, if I think back amongst all the women I have had sex with, similarly, there have only been a few that I have thought to be outstanding for one particular reason or another and with them, I have made that very obvious.

I don't think any of them have had particularly small cunts - all the more reason for doubting myself. There has, however, been a couple that have had particularly well-developed cunt muscles and that has made all the difference for both of us. Once again, I now wonder why that was necessary.

There was another whose cunt inner walls were very ribbed and that was sensational. The only trouble with that was that those ribs were made to make you come and come I did. Luckily she was in the days when I was young enough to recover quickly and start all over again and again.

There was another who much preferred me up her arse mind you she had a huge cunt. Her husband once told me "It was like chucking a bit of string in a Cathedral."

There was another who had bushes of body hair everywhere she could cover up. That I found to be magnificent; I couldn't get enough of her.

I suppose that brings me inevitably on to the issue of size and my size in particular. Well here goes. As I have, for as many years as I can remember, been aware of my size and the issue of whether or not I was big enough, I can tell you that I always seem to have been around 7.5 - 8inches long with 4.5 - 5 inches in girth (that girth measurement is not around the head of my dick because I know that is bigger by about another half inch or so and therefore does not give the true measurement over all).

I therefore thought it was about time to go in search of facts and figures of prick sizes and on methods of improving what I have. With the web now so available to us all and virtually anything you want to research on there, I found no trouble in coming up with many different solutions to my 'problem'.

However, a new problem then developed. Did I want to spend a lot of money on contraptions for the outside of my body and tablets and potions for the inside of my body that might not work anyway? Many years ago, I had had one of those suction pumps that were great fun and made your dick look VERY impressive for as long as you had it on, but as soon as it came off, you were back to square one.

I really did give that one a go for a long time simply because I could see the result I wanted to achieve when it was in operation, but try as I might, it just didn't work for me. One of my friends who I confided in (after a particularly fine foursome where it was difficult for everyone not to be exposed to everyone else) suggested pills.

After some thought, I really couldn't understand how any pill would be able to aim just for your prick and enlarge that, surely there were other similar muscles in your body. And in any case all the pills were 'natural' or 'herbal' and easily available without prescription and that made me sceptical as well.

But then I came across a couple of exercise programmes on the web that were not going to cost me anything and could easily be done in a few minutes of privacy. I won't tell you the names of the sites I got these off otherwise you are going to think this is some kind of advert and not fact at all. However, if anyone wants to contact me, they can and I will give the name of the site to you then.

I started about three months ago and it seems to be having an effect. You can't just do the exercises on their own, you also need to strengthen up the muscle between your balls and your arse for the greatest effect - I will go in to that later.

Each day, I do a warm up whereby I take a shower and whilst still in there, I lather up the old tool and put my thumb and forefinger in an 'O' around the base and pull away from me. I found it best to have my hand the way round that kept the rest of my fingers furthest away from my body when I pulled.

I didn't pull my dick straight out from my body, it always felt most effective when I pulled it almost straight down. I would take each pull slowly so it took me about five seconds to pull down from the base to the head.

I, of course, have always found this to be quite stimulating and would become semi erect by the twentieth to thirtieth pull. Unfortunately, I have never been able to determine if this will slow down the effect I am having on my size or not, perhaps someone could let me know.

After I have done it with one hand about fifty times (always lathering him up frequently as I go) I change hands and pull it down the other way. I am not suggesting that you should pull it slowly down to one side and then the other, I always try to pull it straight down as I have never had any kind of bend on mine.

I suppose that if yours has got a bend in it and you don't like that, (heaven knows why, I have always thought that looked great on blokes, but there again, I don't know if it effects the way you can fuck) you could always slowly pull your dick in the opposite direction to the bend and see if that helps.

Once you have done about fifty pulls with both hands, you need to then gently play with your dick, (not a bad thing) whilst still in the shower to kind of let it get over what you have just done to it.

Just a couple of words of warning, if you are going to give it a try but have had in the past or can get hold of any professional advice now that suggests that, for what ever reason you shouldn't try it, then don't, it just might not be for you. But if you feel confident that it is safe for you and you would like to give it a try, build up to the exercise, don't go mad and do too much straight away.

I must admit, I did it too hard, for too long to begin with and it damn well hurt. My prick went a bruised colour and I felt sure I had done some kind of permanent damage. Luckily I hadn't, but it taught me a very good lesson. I started the second time with just ten pulls with one hand and then the next day, ten pulls with the other.

Soon, I was up to ten pulls per day with both hands and gradually, I have tightened my grip to pull harder as the weeks have gone by, also increasing the number of pulls.

Obviously, this is what works for me and everyone is different. If your prick is used to a lot of battering then you should be able to start stronger that if it isn't, but take it easy and take it steady.

I have now been able to graduate to being able to do it anywhere at anytime I have privacy, I no longer need some kind of lubricant, but my first pull of the day is always in the shower, with the warmth and with the soap, that kind of warms me up for the day. It doesn't take long to whip the old trousers down, say when you go for a pee, instead of standing at a stall, go into a cubicle and you can do a quick pull as well.

The other main thing to watch out for is where you are pushing the blood that is already in your prick as you begin each pull down from the base. Obviously, as your grip gets tighter and you pull down harder, you are going to trap the blood and try forcing it out the end - ouch!!!

For those of you like me who have a foreskin, you will find that it tends to have a semi permanent redness about it as though it is sore and to a certain extent it is. For those cut guys, I don't know what to say because I don't know any cut guys who are doing the same exercises.

What I have tended to start doing as the girth has improved is to continue with the downward pulls, with an ever increasing grip, but not go to the knob end. I now usually stop half way down, pull my foreskin back and then continue with the pull. I only ever go as far as the head. I have never continued my pull over it.

My pulling sessions now normally finish with an extended pull for the final time. That is to say, when I decide I have had enough and things are starting to get a bit tender (which they can if you don't always use lube), the last gripped pull reached the head and I stay there, still pulling for say another ten or fifteen seconds and then slowly let go.

My relaxation period (when I am not at home) always tends to be taking hold of him and gently squeezing him a dozen or so times until things feel back to normal (don't forget, this can be quite exciting and when you leave the loo, you don't want to be walking around the office with a damn great lob on, do you - or do you?).

What effect has all this had? Well, I think it has changed me in several ways, both physically and mentally. First of all, the one you have all been waiting for, what has it done to my dong?

Well when you consider that all these 'enlargement' sites tell you that although you will see change in a few weeks, for the best effect, you must keep doing it for at least a year. I can report that there is not much change in length - you remember I used to be 7.5 - 8 inches (could I really claim 8, well sometimes, just perhaps, maybe if I was quick enough with the ruler) well now, on many occasions there is definitely eight, perhaps a tad more, or is that just my imagination?

But it is the girth where there has been significant change - you remember it was 4.5 - 5, well now I can truly claim an increase to 6 inches at least and you can really feel the difference. When it is flaccid, it used to be about 3 - 3.5 inches, now it is 4 - 4.5 inches dependent on the temperature, you men will know what I mean by that.

And it seems to have been noticed as well (and this is where the mental effect comes in), because the girth has changes size, so has the head, although I have not measured the head yet when fully erect, taking into consideration the increased girth measurement, I would say that it is now in the region of 6.5+ inches, and that shows!!!

When I now have sex, there is a lot more squirming takes place by my partner when we are trying to get me up inside her. She can definitely feel that something is very different and when I am fully up inside of her, she shakes gently, holds me perfectly still as far up inside her as she can get me and squeezes him a lot more with her cunt wall muscles.

When she finally lets him go so that we can start moving, she now loves the feeling of the rim of the head of my dick scraping along the inside walls of her fanny. She also seems to be a lot noisier when she cums.

Now the other thing I thought I better mention is that muscle just behind your balls - I can't remember what it is called but I think it was once referred to as the PA muscle, but there again, it doesn't really matter what it is called as long as you exercise the right one.

All the sites I have found say you must exercise this along with the other pulling exercises and the way to do this is by clenching your arse cheeks together time after time after time. The way I checked which one it was, was to wait until I went for a pee and stopped myself from peeing once I was in full flow. Now the one you can feel yourself clenching is the one you have to exercise.

The sites also say that you can do this at anytime and in any position, laying down, standing up or sitting down. When I went for a pee and stopped myself, the muscle I felt was directly between my balls and my arse but when I started exercising, in certain positions it felt as though I was exercising a completely different muscle up inside my arse.

I don't know if this is the same muscle or not, but to be sure, I feel far more confident exercising when I am sitting down, particularly upright say when in the office or driving. And you really can do it anytime, anywhere no one will ever know what you are doing.

I can't recall any of the sites actually explaining why it is necessary to excise this thing but I have gathered from the way the sites are written that it will help us with our self control and the stiffness of our cock when erect - so exercise I do.

They also suggest that you need to build up to where you are clenching it hundreds of times a day in batches of say fifty at a time. This may sound a lot, but it really isn't IF YOU CAN REMEMBER TO DO IT. It is so easy to forget, but I have now got myself into a frame of mind where it just cums to me second nature now and I almost don't have to think about it, I just find myself doing it.

I do it slowly now but I started where I didn't hold the clench for very long because I found that if I did, it didn't take many clenches before it started to hurt as though I had strained it. Now, fifty takes me about ten minutes, that's all, and if I want to, I can start another fifty straightaway.

Obviously, I don't count them, otherwise I would never be able to concentrate on what anyone around me was saying or what other traffic was doing, I just know how long I have been doing it for each time, but I can really feel the difference in the size of the muscle, now all I have to do is learn how to use that better muscle to my advantage. Once again, if anyone could help me out on that one, I would be most grateful.

All these 'enlargement' plans claim -

Permanent penis enlargement - well, we will see, so far, so good

Experience multiple orgasms - can't say that one has worked on me yet

Curvature straightening - never had a curve

Increased sexual stamina - I can certainly last a lot longer now, maybe too long, you have to be careful here.

Cures and prevents impotence - cleaver one this, I suppose they can always turn round and say you might have suffered if you hadn't exercised.

Bigger penis head - definitely and it's great.

Rock hard erections - haven't needed too much here although I would say there is certainly an improvement.

Increased levels of semen - hard for me to judge because I love to cum so frequently, but that's another story, however, the girlfriend did go away recently for a couple of days and I was able to leave myself alone (except for exercising) for that time, when she got back and I whipped her straight off to bed, I nearly drowned her.

More confidence and better sex - definitely, when you can't sit down with your legs together or you are always having to make yourself comfortable down there, you know you are doing SOMETHING right and that transfers over to when you get her into bed. And it's great when you can sense that she feels the difference, you almost want to smile. With the increased flaccid state, you feel far more confident getting caught around the house. But the best bit is when you are on top of her and in a press-up position so that she can look down you and she sees what is about to hammer her and she makes that quiet little noise in the back of her throat and can't wait to get her hands around it and guide it into her slowly so that you don't hurt her -That's fucking brilliant.

Anyway, that's how if has worked and is still working for me. If you feel it can benefit you, why not give it a go. If you have tried something else and it has worked, why not share it with the rest of us so that we can all benefit.

Until someone cums up with a better solution on how to get your hands on your own member and make big improvements to its size - all free of charge, I am just going to keep pulling away and clenching with my exercises and see what I can achieve. I hope for some improvement to the length, more than I have achieved so far, and a continued improvement to the girth and head - I will measure it sometime for you if anyone is interested.

Please let me know what free improvements you have been able to make to your own meat and how you have been able to make them. Please don't exaggerate, hopefully you can see that I have tried to be as factual as possible with no exaggerations as at the end of the day, we are only trying to make ourselves act and feel better in life and that can't be a bad thing.

I really hope this helps some of you guys out there who have felt like I have in the past.

What about the "Lemon Tree" episode? (2, Interesting)

Praxxus (19048) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240583)

I can't believe they left that one off. :P

I agree with the person above. It seems they felt obligated to include too many "newer" episodes.

Oh well. Their website, their list, I guess.

Another List.... (1)

LittleGuy (267282) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240586)

Every time one of these lists comes out, there are ommissions and arguments that the ranking are out of whack.

Nonetheless, why they failed to include the wonderfully poignant Lisa's Wedding [] is beyond me.

Science fiction (1)

gmuslera (3436) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240596)

Maybe is because I like a lot science fiction, but the two individual episodes that I most remember is the one where Homer go to the past and kill all dinosaurs (like in the sound of thunder, by Bradbury) and the one where Homer goes 4^H3D.

My fave. (1)

Black Parrot (19622) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240598)

I like the one where Homer discovers that he's going to die and goes in for a father-son heart-to-heart with Bart.

Who wants the best? (1)

GothChip (123005) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240601)

Did anyone else click on the link just to find out which one was considered the worst?

Re:Who wants the best? (1)

Chewie (24912) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240726)

I sure did. I was disappointed, too. I consider Alone Again, Natura-Diddly to be the absolute worst episode in the history of the series. It was poorly written, poorly conceived, and just felt rushed and unnecessary. I understand why they thought they had to do it, but it would have been better if Maude had been relegated to background/lineless scenes.

So, in self-mocking summation:

Worst episode ever!

Worst episode? (1)

J. T. MacLeod (111094) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240605)

There's a funny thing about the worst episode of the Simpsons I've seen...

I actually thought to myself "This is the worst episode ever" only to hear the comic shop guy rumble the fourth wall with his words:

"Worst. Episode. Ever."

I'm just glad the writers acknowledged it as they were doing it :)

Re:Worst episode? (1)

Aine (647301) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240691)

I remember that one!!

I was thinking that too, and I couldn't believe he said that! :D

Comic Book Guy (4, Funny)

mrpuffypants (444598) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240614)

CBG: "Immediately after reading the 25 best episodes I was on the Internet registering my disgust and complaints."

Bart: "But they provide you with free and quality content!"

CBG: "Worst. Top 25 list. ever."

Homer and the teleporter (0)

Jimhotep (29230) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240616)

I seen lots of movies and TV shows with teleporters. Homer is the only one to really put it to practical use.

Who wouldn't want to remotely urinate?

Bart Sells His Soul... (3, Insightful)

objekt (232270) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240618)

is not on the list? Insanity!

to quote Nate Patrin:
This episode kicked hairy yellow butt, right from the In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida bit to the Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag bit...

Tony Hawk on 300th Epdisode (1)

huphtur (259961) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240621)

Hows this? A scrawny kid that likes to roll around on a skateboard, has made it [] on an episode of the Simpsons. I betcha $10, he can jump the Springfield Gorge.

Inside The Actors Studio (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240627)

This Sunday (2/9) on Bravo, they will be interviewing the cast of the Simpsons both in and out of character. It's starts at 7 PM central time.

Raining Doghnuts (1)

ACNeal (595975) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240632)

What about the episode, a haloween ep I think, where Homer is traveling through alternate universes.

He lands in one, everything is perfect except no one has ever heard of doughnuts, so Homer flees. Moments after he leaves, it starts rainging outside. The rain is what Homer would have identified as doughnuts.

Worest Episode Ever (0)

Mr.Dippy (613292) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240633)

I still say that the worest episode was when Springfield found out that Principal Skinner was somebody else and that the real Skinner was in a Vietnamese tiger cage for 20 years. I don't think I laughed once.

I can't pick just one! (1)

Aine (647301) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240634)

My favorites have been the Halloween Specials. I also liked the one with Aerosmith... that was very kewl.

Their tops list is crap (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240639)

Especially Cape Feare???? That wouldn't be on my top 100 list.

"Bart to the Future" the worst? NO! (5, Insightful)

Skyshadow (508) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240640)

What about that episode where they used a Roast of Homer by the Springfield Friar's Club as an excuse to have a clip show? It was *horrible*! How can *any* completely new episode be worse than a clip show?

How, Marge? How?

Besides, there were some real stinkers in the first season while they were still trying to find their voice and before the show went Homer-centric (in a fair world, Homer-centric should be a word).

My favourite (3, Funny)

pubjames (468013) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240641)

My favourite line:

(Mr Burns to Homer): "You're the fattest thing I've ever seen. And I've been on safari."

Quality of episodes declining (3, Interesting)

Dugsmyname (451987) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240646)

It's interesting that out of the top 25 episodes picked in this article, only 2 episodes are from seasons after 1997. The vast majority of episodes listed in this article are from 1993-1994.

Have all of the creative juices stopped flowing into the Simpsons? Or have they just had a bad run of writers?

What about ... (5, Funny)

simong_oz (321118) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240651)

hmmm ... seen the list, and while I agree with some (Mr Plow, Monorail, Homer Badman) it misses out some of my all-time favourites

Deep Space Homer
the one where Homer gets fat to work from home
the episode where Bart wins the elephant
any episode where Barney is sober

and now for some classic simpsons quotes (all atributed to Homer of course - who else!):

"I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. *Everybody* cares what I think!"
"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
"I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, Please Superman help me!"
"Homer no function beer well without."
"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel."
"To alcohol - the cause of, and solution to all of life's problems."

and my all-time favourite ...

"Maybe for once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding 'You're making a scene'." - Homer J Simpson

My favorites that didn't make the list... (2, Funny)

xTK-421x (531992) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240654)

Homer the Great []

Homer: I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me.
Marge: You're not a god, Homer.
Lisa: Remember Dad, "All glory is fleeting."
Homer: So?
Lisa: "Beware the Ides of March."
Homer: No!
Lisa: Dad, I know you think you're happy now, but it's not going to last forever.
Homer: Everything lasts forever.

Homer Goes to College []

Marge: [hearing modem noises] Ooh, what's wrong with this phone? it's making crazy noises.
Nerd 2: [contemptuously] Those "crazy noises" are computer signals.
Nerd 3: Yeah. Some guys at MIT are sending us reasons why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.
Nerd 1: Hah! They're outta their minds.

"Pray for Mojo" (The Helper Monkee episode) (1)

bruceg (14365) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240655)

This Episode [] is still my favorite.

I'll argue about the worst... (1)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240664)

The worst one they claim (the one where bart goes to the indian casino and sees the future) isn't all that bad. It had some great jokes:
Bart throws a firecracker in the fireplace.
Indian: Hey! Stop that!
Bart: Hey I got that on your reservation!
Indian: That's crazytalk!
Bart: No really!
Indian: I know, its CrazyTalk. He's my brother

Oh, and Tree House Horror V is the best episode ever!

What episode had... (1)

Quasar1999 (520073) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240667)

Skinner: "Ok, now chew through my ball-sack"...

Episode 708 - A Fish Called Selma (1)

ssemegran (639245) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240672)

This episode has the BEST Troy McClure line of them all. When he greets Selma for their second date, he says, "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner."

Simpson Plot Lines (2, Interesting)

Hypharse (633766) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240677)

Has anyone else noticed that the Simpson plots have gotten more and more insane? I guess they are running out of ideas, but there are some that if you think about make you go huuuuh? Like the one where they won the trip to africa off of an old animal crackers box. Or the one where Homer gets a webpage and ends up being drugged and taken to this special sanctuary. I know those are from a couple seasons ago, but I haven't had tv to watch the recent ones. I would assume they follow the same random act pattern. The beginning of the episode is usually totally different from the end. Like they'll have one plot line for the first 10 minutes with an odd occurence that completely shifts the plot line to something else; a two episodes in one type of thing. I'm rambling, but the point is the plot lines seem to be more "drug-induced".

Two more... (1)

jvmatthe (116058) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240679)

Admittedly, there is plenty of room for everyone to have a favorite episode. But two that I feel should be mentioned are Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire [] (the story of Santa's Little Helper) and Maggie Makes Three [] (the story of what happened just before Maggie was born). These two episodes epitomize the side of the Simpsons that celebrates the family, a quality that I feel is too often overlooked by critics.

how can you go wrong (1)

mrtroy (640746) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240682)

i cant even start to think what the best episodes are. i have saw so many sweet episodes that have left me laughing for can one really choose the "best"? Their parodies are always good...i really enjoyed their lord of the flies parody show...but the BEST? i am not so decisive on which shows could be the BEST

and to those of you who say the simpsons still cant be funny...on the last show:
[ralph after being sprayed by pepper spray]:
Even my boogers are spicy!
[disco stu after getting hit by marge]:
Disco stu should have disco ducked!

come on. thats funny.

I don't recall the episode names but. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5240693)

The one where Homer buys a RV and ends up building the rabbit trap about killed me " I married Bigfoot". Also the one when Homer agrees to find a date for Marge's sister and acts like the Terminater "possable Homersexual" I would add those two to the list.

City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (1)

ideonode (163753) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240697)

One of the funnier episodes for me was when Homer et al went to New York [] . However, the prominent presence of the World Trade Center may, I suspect, have consigned this one to syndication-hell. Have folk seen it aired in recent months?

pretty good... (1)

mrscorpio (265337) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240700)

All the episodes they list are classics, and yes with only 25 out of 300 (MOST of which are brilliant, and 99.9% of the rest are just really really goodl, especially in the earlier seasons) on the list, there's going to be some left out. But leaving off "You Only Move Twice" (the Hank Scorpio episode and origin of my most persistent i-net handle) and "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular" is criminal in my mind.

But I'm mostly happy with it.


No beer and no TV make Homer (1)

wiredog (43288) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240705)

something something.

Obvious "Best Episode Ever" (4, Funny)

goldspider (445116) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240710)

Rife! (1)

dethl (626353) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240721)

But since "best of" lists like this one are always rife with debate and contention

I love conversations RIFE with debate and contention!


rasteri (634956) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240731)

....a "Best of simpsons" list with "Rosebud" somewhere near the top. Ah... my life is complete.

The Shinning! (1)

wiredog (43288) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240733)

Don't you mean "The Shining"?

Coors! (1, Funny)

Alizarin Erythrosin (457981) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240736)

Funniest part in a Simpsons episode EVER:

The 3 frogs sitting in the pond going "Bud... Weis... Er" over and over then the alligator eats them and goes "Coors!" I laughed for a very long time after that one.

Required reference (2, Informative)

bobbabemagnet (247383) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240737)

No discussion about the simpsons is complete without mention of [] (for springfield nuclear power plant), which is the largest database on the simpsons. It has descriptions of each episode, lists of errors, lists of references, essays, everything the simpsons related that anyone could ever want.

Simpson and Delilah (2, Interesting)

TummyX (84871) | more than 11 years ago | (#5240739)

Got to be my all time favourite.

It's the one where homer gets hair and suddenly becomes rich and successful. He has that assistant (Karl) who guides him to success.

It highlights some facets of society and life so well.
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