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Priest Brews in Washing Machine

michael posted more than 11 years ago | from the dirty-vestments dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 660

An anonymous writer sends in this story about a priest who has made a brewery out of his washing machine. See his website for recipes and pictures.

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660 comments

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Changes the meaning of the saying... (4, Funny)

jo_ham (604554) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255935)

...sober as a preist on Sunday.

michael! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255936)

Refresh ./'s servers! We cant see these posts!! We can make 'em, but not see them! (or, at least I cant)

Oh no, not again... (4, Funny)

Cali Thalen (627449) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255937)


Another counter-productive idea. I mean, I have enough trouble trying to convince myself to do my laundry...

Mod?? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255939)

Ok, this whole modding thing has gone too far...

Well, that would .. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255942)

give quite a bity of head to the beer.

fp (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255943)

fp

WTF (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255945)

I think slashdot is all up and motherfuckin busted... Come on you dump shits, fix it now!

Havin a good ol' time (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255946)

just goes to show ya even members of the church know how to get down! party at the preachers house! your all invited!

FP? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255949)

First post?

Soap build-up? (1)

buck_wild (447801) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255950)

Isn't a washing machine inherently unclean?

Well (1)

Junky191 (549088) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255951)

I guess this is better than the koolaid-baited cage in the basement. *runs*

Can you imagine... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255953)

a beowulf cluster of alter boys and washing machines brewing beer? This priest sure can!

German, what are the odds. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255955)

How did I know that this guy was German before I even checked the article.

Clennanliness is next to drunkneness (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255956)

*hic* Or, something liek taht.

I'll have mine... (5, Funny)

Black Parrot (19622) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255958)

...agitated, not spun.

Little Boys (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255959)

If he bends a little boy over the washing machine, there's a chance he might get impurities introduced to the beer...better that he closes the washer when engaging in that kind of activity.

First Post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255960)

Did I? Could I?

what (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255962)

second

My Sig. (5, Funny)

DeadBugs (546475) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255963)

Now maybe my Sig. will have more meaning.

beer in washing machine (2, Funny)

MoFoYa (644563) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255966)

Honey, are you through with the laundry?

I'm running low on the hootch.

post. the. first. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255968)

post. the. first.

A priest? (2, Interesting)

Major (14936) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255969)

Maybe I'm blind as a bat (and granted I don't speak German) but where did it say that this guy is a priest? Browsing through the website, I couldn't find a mention.

Well now (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255970)

I brew in washing machines so much i get first posts!

or something else stupid.

either way, ya, um...fp

- cornjchob

Does this work.... (2, Funny)

I kan Spl (614759) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255972)

.... In a laundrymat?

I'm afraid to click the link (1)

buck_wild (447801) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255976)

I mean, isn't there a penalty for slashdotting a priest's website?

I don't wanna go to hell or anything...

/. /.ed? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255982)

/. has been officially /.ed

father forgive me (1)

nursedave (634801) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255983)

for I have sinned....
I have submitted your website, without warning you, to a geek website, and yea, verily, doth your website die.

Nerds (1)

anon*127.0.0.1 (637224) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255985)

And this relates to us how, exactly?

this is fucked up (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255987)

watch this post disappear -- presto changeo !

Poof! Gone!

Guess he had some free time (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255988)

ran out of kids to molest?

Can you imagine... (1)

norculf (146473) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255991)

A beowulf cluster of these things?

No, seriously, a massive cluster of cheap washing machines brewing beer could offer heavy competition to massive super breweries.

I wonder (-1, Troll)

MisterFancypants (615129) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255993)

Nice hack

I wonder what he made the altar-boy raping machine out of...

Is it just me? (2, Funny)

rice_web (604109) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255994)

What the hell is a priest doing with a brewery in a washing machine? Simply WTF?

WTF? I wanted first post :-( (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5255998)

I don't think that you can reply... is /. down?

Nice (1)

finse (63518) | more than 11 years ago | (#5255999)

Maybe I should build one, then I could place it next to the keg-orator.

FP (0)

MaximusPrime (609071) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256001)



Do-not-email-registries first and now this ?

Flame away!
This is obviously such a boring article that I actually get to be FP - woohoo!

My priest used to make Wheat wine (1)

saskboy (600063) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256002)

He did a fine job too. Strongest wine I've ever tasted.
The parish kids even went out picking buckets of dandelion heads once, so he could make wine from them too.

Top 9 Reasons to Quit www.$lashdot.com (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256005)

#9. $lashdot is a plot by Microsoft to destroy the productivity of Linux users.

I have friends who were once tremendously productive programmers, until they started reading $lashdot. Then, the endless stream of links, updated a dozen times a day no less (so you don't go once a day to get your fix; instead, you keep a window open and hit reload every twenty minutes or so), steadily seduced them, until they eventually became babbling idiots, dribbling saliva from the corners of their mouths, ranting on the forums about the relative merits of Karma Whores and Anonymous Cowards. Can there be any doubt that this website is anything other than a nefarious ploy to destroy Linux by undermining the productivity of its developers? And is there any organization that would like to destroy Linux more than Microsoft? (Well, maybe the Santa Cruz Operation...) Is it any coincidence that just as the Feds were working out Microsoft's sentence, Microsoft sued $lashdot, resulting in a firestorm of geek ire that totally overshadowed the monopoly ruling?

#8. Screaming 14-year-old boys attempting to prove to each other that they are more 3133t than j00.

Need I say more?

#7. Technical opinions refereed by popular vote means lousy technical opinions.

Before the Internet, a certain breed of deconstructionists had a lot of fun telling everybody that "privileging of dominant paradigms" was wrecking the world. The Internet has taught us that privileging certain views is absolutely crucial to avoid drowning in the ravings of idiots. On $lashdot, many articles discuss technical issues---but comments are refereed by popular vote, and even though the populace of $lashdot readers knows somewhat more than your average set of people off the street, they still tend to promote (as in "moderate up") a lot of technical nonsense. Reading $lashdot can therefore often be worse than useless, especially to young and budding programmers: it can give you exactly the wrong idea about the technical issues it raises.

The pre-Internet publishing world had magazines, newspapers, and journals with editors. Respectable publications hired qualified editors. Those qualified editors were educated enough to make intelligent decisions about the quality of content. The $lashdot model removes the editors and substitutes popular vote, and the result (unfortunately) is that the quality level becomes incredibly inconsistent. It was an interesting experiment; it didn't work, not for $lashdot (though it might work in some other population of users). Too bad. Now, it's time to quit.

#6. Community myth that Linux is technically superior to any other operating system in the known universe.

People who do operating systems research, of course, think this is a joke. Dissent from this view in $lashdot, however, and you'd better be wearing your asbestos fatigues.

#5. Butt-ugly visual design.

Of course, this one's a matter of taste. However, in my analysis, the visual elements of the $lashdot site are basically hopelessly confused and wrong. From the cryptic links in the left margin, to the drop-shadowed graphics (hello, digital design cliche circa 1994?), to the offensively lousy color scheme (let's use circuit board green, because it's "News for Nerds", right?) I can't find much to like about the design of $lashdot.

#4. Gullible editorial staff continues to post links to any and all articles that vaguely criticize Linux in any way.

Blowhards (like the flock of irresponsible columnists over at the Windows-boosterism rag InfoWorld) have had tons of fun taking advantage of this tendency to drive hits to their site. On any given day, $lashdot readers are treated to another link to another column by another self-proclaimed pundit declaring that Linux is (pick one) unreliable, not scalable, not user-friendly, doomed, piracy-inducing, foul-smelling, or un-American. And irony was that the editors of $lashdot are falling right into the pundits' trap: inciting the $lashdot community is the one surefire way to drive up your hit count and hence your revenue from ad banners. Did the $lashdot editors ever wise up? Not that I ever saw. Given how tiresome the endless pro-Linux jihad had become by the time I quit, I have very little desire to go back and find out whether that's changed.

#3. Gullible editorial staff continues to post links to bogus pseudoscience articles by crackpots.

At the time I quit, the editors were posting links to theories of alternate consciousness, unified theories of the universe made up by people in their garages, and the like at a rate of two or three a week. And the number was only increasing. If I want to read articles that promote totally bogus pseudoscience, I'll open up the Village Voice. We don't need another webzine filling that role.

#2. Editorial/comment system pretends to be democratic but in reality most content remains firmly in the iron clasp of the editors.

The above problems with editorial could be solved if stories could be moderated as well as comments, or if editors paid attention to negative feedback about the posting of certain articles. However, the editorial staff, while pretending to be ideology-free selectors of any "interesting" content, in fact exert tremendous power over the content of the site, because they are the only ones who can select top-level links. They have furthermore demonstrated, for all the reasons above, that they cannot use this power wisely.

In fact, if you think about it, the links on $lashdot are easily an order of magnitude less interesting, on average, than those of Suck, Hotwired, or FEED---all of which are run by smart editors with good taste (and two of which are dead---thus proving that only the good die young). If you've read any of these webzines, you'll probably agree. Rob and Hemos simply don't compare, as editors, to Stephen Johnson or Joey Anuff.

So, really, it's time to ask yourself: why should I read $lashdot? Because it targets my demographic? That's a silly reason. So why not quit today?

#1. Two words: Jon Katz.

Every community has its resident gasbag. The difference between $lashdot and other communities is that they have the means to kick their village idiot off his soapbox, but they lack the will. If Jon Katz is not the single worst writer for any webzine, anywhere on the planet, alive today, then I am a penguin. His writing manages to be endlessly meandering and verbose, and simultaneously utterly content-free.

Notice, by the way, that I have not said a word about his technical acumen. It's not necessary to. Katz (who, like all opportunists, likes to paint himself as an innocent victim whenever he's criticized) makes a big deal about how there are "technical snobs" in the Linux user population who blast him for not being a technical genius. To tell the truth, Katz's inability to install even recent Linux distributions (which are arguably as easy to install as MacOS or Windows) on a run-of-the-mill x86 PC does testify to his general cluelessness. However, Katz is not a programmer or sysadmin; he's a writer. He must stand or fall based on the quality of his writing. And his writing is totally the pits. He would never have gotten published anywhere but $lashdot; even WIRED, cheerleaders of all things "digital" and "decentralized", finally got tired of his babbling and let him go. The cheesiest, most blatantly pandering "Hookers Who Read Proust" article on Salon.com displays more literary skill than the finest Katz screed ever to see the light of day.

To make things worse, Katz is also a shameless opportunist who regularly uses $lashdot to promote his books. And the $lashdot admins go right along with it. You can't criticize someone for their taste in friends, but you can criticize them for continuing in a relentless and blind nepotism that destroys the quality of the site.

No single factor wase more pivotal in driving me away from $lashdot than Jon Katz. Even when I registered for an account and filtered Katz out, still he made it into news items not labeled Jon Katz---presumably to promote sales of his book. What other webzine displays such a blatant disrespect for its readers?

But then again, Katz's pandering, one-note "Ich bin ein Geek" spiel may be exactly what the $lashdot audience deserves.

Simply put, it's time to quit $lashdot, once and for all.

Troll 54 of 208 from the annals of the Troll Library [slashdot.org] .

Wrong combination (0)

CmdrFaco (593442) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256007)

What's the right combination for /.
beer???
pr0n???
micro$oft
and party keeps going...

funny title (5, Funny)

Digypro (560571) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256011)

Ever heard the one about the Priest, the Brewery, and the Washing machine? .....me either

TSOP TSRIF (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256014)

fp bitches

Well... (3, Funny)

WilliamsDA (567274) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256015)

This will finally give reason for college students to do their laundry :)

bier und blinkenlights (1)

stinky wizzleteats (552063) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256016)

Who could ask for more?

is it really... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256017)

first post?

First Drunken post (0, Flamebait)

brianber (575995) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256019)

Obviosly he's not a Baptist (or Mormon)

first post (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256020)

Yuppers first posters!

Tasty Suds! (1)

Vapor8 (240870) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256023)


Brings new meaning to the term "Tasty Suds"!

fix it, dumbasses... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256029)

...or your life is forfeit!

Creative zymurgy (1)

Uncle Flip (641294) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256030)

Not that far out.... I'mnot going to say which appliances I've used fro brewing. :)

-UF

Priest Pale Ale (1)

l810c (551591) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256033)

The beer with That special flavor.

Patriot Act II - coming soon! (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256035)

All they need is another conveniently timed terrorist attack, and the gestapo will be even more powerful.

http://www.publicintegrity.org/dtaweb/report.asp?R eportID=502&L1=10&L2=10&L3=0&L4=0&L5=0 [publicintegrity.org]

http://www.publicintegrity.org/dtaweb/downloads/St ory_01_020703_Doc_1.pdf [publicintegrity.org]
http://www.pbs.org/now/transcript/transcript_lewis 2.html [pbs.org]

Section 501, "Expatriation of Terrorists": This provision, the drafters say, would establish that an American citizen could be expatriated "if, with the intent to relinquish his nationality, he becomes a member of, or provides material support to, a group that the United Stated has designated as a 'terrorist organization'." But whereas a citizen formerly had to state his intent to relinquish his citizenship, the new law affirms that his intent can be "inferred from conduct." Thus, engaging in the lawful activities of a group designated as a "terrorist organization" by the Attorney General could be presumptive grounds for expatriation.


MOYERS: Do you see any protection in here against potential abuse?

LEWIS: I don't think there's very much -- there's a lot more authority and power for government. There's less oversight and information about what government is doing. That's the headline and that's the theme. And the safeguards seem to be pretty minimal to me.

MOYERS: I just go through here, you know? "Will give the Attorney General the unchecked power to deport any foreigner?"

LEWIS: Right.


Hmmm (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256036)

A priest that runs his own brewery? Don't think this helps their image

so.... (1)

JayDoggy (200317) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256037)

is this where all those lost socks end up? if so, I'm not taste testing this dude's brew.

PepsiCo 4th quarter profit up (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256038)

PepsiCo 4th quarter profit up

A thought (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256039)

I wonder if they use this as part of the Communion during church?

Punishment? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256044)

So what's the appropriate punishment for slashdotting a priest?

More details (1)

scrote-ma-hote (547370) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256048)

Sounds interesting, but I don't speak German. Can anyone tell me how/why he does it in a washing machine? It seems kinda random to me.

I am (0, Offtopic)

gordyf (23004) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256049)

the one.

In soviet russia, (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256050)

real beer makes priests!

Suds?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256052)

Nyuk, Nyuk.

But seriously... Home brewers tend to be rather ingenious at adapting common objects to suit their needs. First time I've seen this though. Way to go, Padre!

It's a lager! (3, Funny)

philovivero (321158) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256053)

I had a history professor who loved giving quizzes with off-the-wall "bonus questions" at the end.

The quizzes were given orally.

Question #9: "What is a lager" (most people, myself included, thought he meant "logger" and were confused)

Question #10: "What is a beer brewed in the bottom of the barrel?

It was pretty clear to even non-beer-drinkers like myself (I'm probably more ignorant of beer terminology than most nuns) what was meant by the two questions at this point, and those of us with minimal reasoning skills got the two questions right. It was funny to listen to the whiners that said the questions were unfair.

Oh.... (1)

rice_web (604109) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256056)

He's German. For a second I thought he would have been anything BUT German....

But? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256057)

Where will the nuns take their filthy habits now?

vcbcvb (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256058)

xcfvasxdfsff

IN SOVIET RUSSIA (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256059)

... brewerys make washing machines out of YOU.

What's up with the church? (1)

rampant mac (561036) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256060)


Priests brewing beer?

Back in my day we got room temperature Mad Dog 20/20 and a size 12 asshole.

Oh wait...

Stinky... (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256062)

But how will he attract little boys if he doesn't wash his clothes?

test (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256063)

another off-topic test to see if my browser is broke, or the /. editors where do dumb to enable submittal on the previous story.

Great... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256064)

Another story without comments. Don't the editors look at the front page and realize something is wrong?

mmm (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256065)

holy beer!

Sudsy (1)

tinrobot (314936) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256070)

Simply amazing... now you can make BOTH types of suds in a maytag.

Great (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256071)

Exactly what you want to do, get the fucking priest drunk so that he can molest some more kids. Holy Moses.

Finally - Domestic Appliances for Men (3, Funny)

K-Man (4117) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256073)

It took over 100 years, but men can now be liberated from the tyranny of daily washing.

They make bread machines, food processors, even pasta machines. Why not a beer machine?

So... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256074)

How do you wash your clothes the next morning when you wake up in a puddle of vomit?

FIRST POST (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256076)

w00t!

although theres probably 50 other first posts by the time I finish typing this

Creative zymurgy (1)

Uncle Flip (641294) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256078)

Wow...you'd think a little isinglass and the spin cycle would make a DANDY clairification process!

OTOH, there's something to be said for not stirring up the wort before fermentation.

-UF

mooooo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256079)

moo

NEWS!?!?! (1)

A714s (634233) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256081)

This is not news! This is.. is.. STUFF!! AAHHHHHH!

god's own fp (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256085)

i am drunk from my god juice

Just what they need, another scandel (0, Flamebait)

Flamesplash (469287) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256086)

Priest does launday gets kids drunk.

It's in German (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256087)

Hmmm... Imagine that.

Mixing loads (1)

kevcol (3467) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256089)

I do hope he doesn't mix his boxer shorts in during the brew cycle.

That's nothing. (1)

lukew (528994) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256092)

I once made a still from a mpeg video stream.

Badump-tss.

Beer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256093)

God's own beverage.

What the article didn't say (1)

divide overflow (599608) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256095)


The only problem is that his beer tastes like laundry detergent.

Firt post! (1)

yakko nef (640432) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256096)

I now look at my washer with new interest.

Finally a practical story on /. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256098)

Not like that command line PGP thing...

That's nothing... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256099)

Jesus could turn water into wine.

And why not? (2, Informative)

MannyDixn (557653) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256100)

It makes a lot of sense, that's how a lot of commercial beer is made: in vats with heating coils and stirrers. The article doesn't say, but I am sure his beer is fermented in a conventional way, the washing machine is just to prepare the wort. And the washing machine is set up for exactly this, better than most homebrewers' stovetop setups. I wonder what his wife thinks about having to do laundry in a pail, but with so much homebrew around, once you get a little tipsy, such concerns are just not as pressing!

huhh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256103)

if i were god i'd drink some beer

HAHA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256105)

HAHAHHAHA.

Could be worse..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256106)

I guess beer in the washer is more pious than dick in the alter boy.

first post! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256107)

haha

Brings new meaning to the saying... (0, Redundant)

jo_ham (604554) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256108)

...sober as a preist on Sunday.

Cannot make comments (1)

satanami69 (209636) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256109)

Just testing if this goes through.

All we need here (0)

pouncer7 (580711) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256112)

Is the recipe for jolt cola. Set for life.... mmm

hmmm (1)

machine of god (569301) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256113)

my parents shouldn't mind too much. I mean, they might not even notice... I think I'll go for it.

Good Distraction (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256115)

Get those priests into brewing their own beer and maybe it'll get their minds off the alter boys!

Nth post suckas (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5256117)

I am too cool for words!

Cleanup Easy (1)

wikki (13091) | more than 11 years ago | (#5256119)

That does seem a bit strange, you would think there would be a a better place to make beer.

At least the cleanup is easy.
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