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Perfumed, Glowing Cloth

michael posted more than 11 years ago | from the blinding-and-stinky dept.

Science 139

namtap writes "A story on NPR's All Things Considered discusses a light emitting fabric: The costumes onstage in Washington, D.C., might look a little brighter this opera season -- or at least, much more colorful. All Things Considered senior host Robert Siegel talks with Alberto Spiazzi, costume designer for Washington Opera's production of Aida, about luminex, a self-illuminating fabric." Makarand writes "A new technology will soon enable scents to be woven into fabrics. The technology, called Sensory Perception Technologies (SPT), will allow particles of moisturisers, deodorants and fragrances to be woven directly into fabrics. Scented tiny droplets contained inside miniature waterproof particles are woven into fabrics to be released upon activation by movement or touch. The fabrics are dry cleanable and machine washable."

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wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (4, Funny)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384865)

A true must-have for geeks everywhere...

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (4, Funny)

$$$$$exyGal (638164) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384934)

Not only that, but with luminex, we can make our clothes blink on and off just like all the routers in the server room ;-).

--sex []

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385012)

Yeah, but how much gerfingerpoken does it take to get you spitzensparken?

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (1)

kfg (145172) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385108)

Oh great, just what we need. Blinken Briefs.


Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (4, Funny)

Black Copter Control (464012) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385215)

luminex, we can make our clothes blink on and off just like all the routers in the server room ;-).

My girlfriend figured that I'd pay more attention to her breasts if she did that to her bra [] . It seems to have worked. Now I can get cuddles and network status all in one stroke.

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (2, Funny)

Bender Unit 22 (216955) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385270)

You really shouldn't use the word "stroke" in that line, unless..

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (3, Funny)

MikeFM (12491) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385524)

But can you hack your girlfriends software to run Linux? I'd be really geeky cool to make your girlfriends new bra and panty set run Linux and do something useful like provide bio feedback. Just imagine if womens cloths would let you know if their in the mood to jump you or just punch your eye! Who needs mood rings. :)

Just think of this with bluetooth intergration. Your PDA, cellphone, and laptop could all intergrate with your cloths. If you have a meeting coming up your PDA blinks your shirt cuffs to remind you. Got a call? Don't set it to ring or vibrate.. make your cloths color cycle. Kicking ass and getting frags? Make your cloths show a flame pattern.. smokin!

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (1)

mlush (620447) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385219)

Not only that, but with luminex, we can make our clothes blink on and off just like all the routers in the server room ;-).

Be careful, I recall its possible to decode network traffic from the router blinkenlights...

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (1)

Simon Field (563434) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384940)

Would wearing a Luminex garment make you appear brilliant?

Instant geek?

Re:wow - deodorant-impregnated fabrics! (1)

Kibo (256105) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384955)

Would wearing a Luminex garment make you appear brilliant?

No. But it may allow you to throw down on Sho-nuff and score with Vanity.

Re: Sho-Nuff (2, Funny)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385019)


You rawk! I've always wondered where the other person was who saw that brilliant movie. :)

Re: Sho-Nuff (1)

Kibo (256105) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385187)

You may be the fabled "lost brother" we have been searching for. There are others. You are not alone.

Re: Sho-Nuff (1)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385196)



Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384866)

Hey Robo, TROLLDOT.COM is available!

Troll 73 of 208 from the annals of the Troll Library [] .


Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384881)

HAHA... not any more...

It might smeel good and glow... (1, Funny)

Twintop (579924) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384867)

...but does it have Digital 4 Track Recorders?

mmm, a nice tasty mug of (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384868)

frothy piss. fp, negroes.

Heat Change Clothes (5, Interesting)

Cuprous (74856) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384872)

Anyone remember the shirts that would change color with heat? I loved how the armpits would always be one color and the rest of the shirt would be the other.

Re:Heat Change Clothes (4, Funny)

svvampy (576225) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384880)

You should have seen my hyper-colour undies!

Re:Heat Change Clothes (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384975)

Anyone remember being beaten up for wearing really geeky clothes? I loved how one eye would be one color and the rest of my face the other.

Re:Heat Change Clothes (0, Offtopic)

ndogg (158021) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385238)

Yeah, I always had these strange blue spots on my body after coming home from school.

Re:Heat Change Clothes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385313)

Yeah, I always had these strange blue spots on my body after coming home from school.

Abuse? =(

Re:Heat Change Clothes (1)

hplasm (576983) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385682)

I hate this when it happens to normal shirts, tho'. Time for a new pit spray...

Firsts Prost! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384873)


Re:Firsts Prost! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385007)

I got first post. Now fuck off before I shove my gigantic throbing man-rod into your quivering, unlubricated beef-curtains.

Re:Firsts Prost! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385021)

give me your manhood fuckturd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re:Firsts Prost! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385101)

Bend over, here it comes.

i am drunk from my god juice

Scents ... (2, Funny)

webdevcoder (626832) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384875)

Gee ... the scents must be there to mask the manufacturing smell of their clothing ...

Old News (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384879)

It's Towelie from South Park. Wanna get high?

how long.... (4, Funny)

Cynikal (513328) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384882)

.. until they can weave febreeze into fabric?

Re:how long.... (1)

sweetooth (21075) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384962)

Hopefully never. They spray that crap all over the office at work. Not only does it smell horrible, but all it does is mingle with the other scents in the office. Instant headache when that crap is sprayed.

Not just for looking funky (5, Insightful)

Max Romantschuk (132276) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384883)

This could be great for children, road workers or other similar people who have a tendency to get too close to cars in the dark or need to be seen for other reasons.

Re:Not just for looking funky (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384965)

Dog eats owner's finger
February 26, 2003

A FAMILY pet tore off its owner's finger and is believed to have swallowed it during a fight with another dog yesterday.

Sam McRae, 22, was unable to find her middle right finger before an ambulance arrived to take her to the Princess Alexandra Hospital about 9am.

A friend who was staying with her, Shelly Salter, said she was jolted out of bed by the sound of the dogs fighting over a bone and then her friend screaming.

Ms Salter said she rushed outside the Thorneside front door and was confronted by her friend who was holding her bloody hand.

"I was on my hands and knees with a bucket of ice looking for it but we think one of them has eaten it," she said.

It is unknown which dog, a labrador cross ridgeback or a mongrel believed to be part terrier, had bitten off the finger during their fight.

A Redland Shire Council animal management officer went to the home yesterday but left the property without an animal.

A council spokesman said the incident had occurred on private property and the dogs were owned by the victim, who had not made a complaint.

The Courier-Mail

Re:Not just for looking funky (2, Funny)

l810c (551591) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385005)

Moving Targets!

Re:Not just for looking funky (2, Funny)

kfg (145172) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385095)

As someone who bicyles long distances at all hours, sometimes around the clock, something like this could be a literal lifesaver.

And if it smells minty fresh when I'm done I suppose it could save the lives of others as well. :)


Try elwire (4, Interesting)

gad_zuki! (70830) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385481)

Why not try electroluminscent wire? [] I bought a bunch a couple years ago for a quick and dirty Tron halloween outfit. Not only was it a smashing sucess which got me more free drinks than I could handle thus creating a drunken smashed Tron, but I'm sure my night visibility was amazing. I didn't get run over once!

Even the cheapest elwire can be bought with an sequencer so you could build a simple circuit and make your clothes tell drivers if you intend to turn right or left, like giant body sized blinkers.

funderwear (4, Funny)

soundofthemoon (623369) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384887)

So now I won't have to worry about losing my underwear in the dark, and it will always smell like flowers?

Re:funderwear (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384908)

Yup. Just look for the minus sign with the halo and you're good to go.

Re:funderwear (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384923)

Yea, and now my balls won't smell like shit when my girlfriend goes to suck my dick...

Oh that's _exactly_ what we need! (0, Redundant)

buffy (8100) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384889)

An excuse for geeks all round not to shower. Ew.

light emitting t-shirts? (1)

trmj (579410) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384891)

I don't know how good an idea this might be.

As it currently stands, I try to be awake for as little daylight as I can, and brightly lit t-shirts would kinda defeat the purpose.

Glowing fabric ... (2, Funny)

MP3Chuck (652277) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384892)

I wonder if Elton John's made any pre-orders yet...

Glowing cloth? (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384893)

I don't see how this can compete with having magnesium woven directly into the fabric, plus a box of matches.

Re:Glowing cloth? (4, Funny)

kfg (145172) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385116)

Yeah, it's always a good idea to dress with a little flare.


Obligatory Dupe Notice (2, Informative)

msaulters (130992) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384895) 9/1627251&mode=thread []

At least this one has some new information. Maybe we're seeing some progress.

Re:Obligatory Dupe Notice (1)

cetan (61150) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384911)

Scintillating plastics have been around for quite a while...I'm wondering why only now someone has developed this...maybe an issue of cost or maybe some strength problems?

Come on over here baby.. (4, Funny)

StormyWeather (543593) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384896)

Mmm scratch and sniff girls.

Oh wait, I think my uncle Tom has been scratch and sniff for like 15 years... Not that you would want to.

'bout time (2, Funny)

El_Smack (267329) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384903)

Forget modding your Xbox. Deodorant and a nice fresh scent imbedded in clothes is information _desperately_ needed by this audience. :-)
(C'mon, I'm a member of that group too.)

can see this one coming (0, Redundant)

automag_6 (540022) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384904)

all the geeks that have poor hygene to start with requesting slogan/comic t-shirts with deoderant built in...

no more glowsticks (0)

NeuUnderground (647370) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384907)

Does this mean i don't have to break glowsticks open and rub it on my clothes to glow anymore?

And this could (2, Funny)

katalyst (618126) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384914)

result in intelligent clothing. It would be irritating to have your clothes emit a constant smell. Why not have sensors on the clothes to detect sweat, and only THEN activate the er.. fumigators or scent generators.. Using this technology, clothes may be able to change color with emotions.... that should be intersting.

Re:And this could (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385025)

It would be irritating to have your clothes emit a constant smell.

Irritating ?!? don't you use aftershave ?

Re:And this could (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385249)

Until you are required to wear cloths that change colors based on your mood to prevent terrorism! Takes pills *ahh thats better*.

Re:And this could (1)

anubi (640541) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385256)

Why not have sensors on the clothes to detect sweat, and only THEN activate the er.. fumigators or scent generators

Now, if they could make underwear responsive to intestinal gas. Old men all over the world need this.

Re:And this could (1)

splerdu (187709) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385414)

Just what we need... Mood scenting!

I wonder how it would smell when you get really constipated?

headaches (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384915)

The one and only foreseeable advantage of scented clothes would (hopefully) people stop dousing themselves in thick, potent, cheap perfume.

However what about those who are extremely sensitive to scents? It sucks.

I say we go back to scratch-n-sniff or just licking each other.

Just What I Was Waiting For (1)

jade42 (608565) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384916)

I always wanted to look like those people in Tron.

You know, not really. I like my clothes just the way they are.

One for the workers! (1)

svvampy (576225) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384919)

So this light fabric will help the malnourished children and other slave labourers see what they're making? I'd guess it wouldn't improve the smell, they wouldn't want to waste anything on their unwashed bondsmen. Soon we'll need glowing rubber to ensure parity in the working conditions for the nike 'cobblers'. Maybe they could irradiate some mad cows, it's not like anyone is going to eat them anyway.

Luminex (4, Interesting)

_Ludwig (86077) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384920)

$280/yd (and a 50 yard minimum order) seems a little steep for fabric with strands of optical fiber woven in -- you still have to hook up the light sources yourself, probably after you've cut your pattern. Seems most people capable of making anything more complicated than a tablecloth out of this stuff could probably weave their own.

Re:Luminex (2, Informative)

chocho99 (552877) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385129)

I think an excellent alternative is to use Super Luminova thread. No battery needed. 12+ hour brilliant glow with a 10 minute charge in daylight. Multiple colors. 10 year shelf life. No nasty radiation to speak of. [] [] []

Re:Luminex (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385548)

This isn't made from optical fibers and batteries. It seems to be made from fibres containing a substance that reacts to elementary particles. The fact that it is a product of CERN should surely suggest to you that this is something a little more sophisticated?

Linux (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384943)

has nothing to do with this article. I just thought I would mention that. Linux. The choice of the new generation.

Brought to you by a bunch of flaming idiots who have no idea how to write a consumer operating system.

Great Joke Gift (4, Funny)

theperplepigg (599224) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384944)

For some reason, the first thing that comes to mind is getting someone a shirt fused with cat pheremones (or dog, deer, frat boys, etc). Would be interesting to watch, if only for the laughs.


more time to do what you want (1)

jdkane (588293) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384945)

will allow particles of moisturisers, deodorants and fragrances to be woven directly into fabrics

I never have to do laundry again! Now I can drag the 3-day wear into infinity ...

toss me willy in the billy (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384951)

and call me chilly billy

heh I am cool

Better colors? We can do that now... (1)

djupedal (584558) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384954)

Buy a bottle of your favorite upscale whisky, and hit off of it frequently before the opera starts. I promise everything on stage will glow and appear more colorful. Heck even the sound will'll glow!

'Color by J. Daniels, of Tennessee'.

It's up to your partner to supply an upgraded scent, however. No platform-pizza jokes, please.

Re:Better colors? We can do that now... (1)

l810c (551591) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385037)

A good bottle of Tequila and you'll see way more colors than JD(Upscale?).

And their both way down on the list of things that will make you see more colors.

Re:Better colors? We can do that now... (1)

djupedal (584558) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385089)

Of course :)

This is the Opera, after all, so you would do wise to co-ordinate your alcohol with the performance, eh? Jack for 'The Turn of the Screw' and Tequila for 'La Bohème', perhaps. Only a suggestion to get you started. Feel free to ask your local liquor store owner for his/her advice...stop off on the way to the Met, I'm sure they will have just the brand to suit the event.

Re:Better colors? We can do that now... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385060)

Yeah, but you forget, at the opera it's a long time between potty breaks. Hope you have a strong bladder.

Looking forward to... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384957)

...sperm impregnated clothing!!!!

Oh no! (4, Funny)

moronga (323123) | more than 11 years ago | (#5384969)

You linked to NPR. Did you get permission? []

Old Ike "Musk" (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384979)

When I think of dirty old men, I think of Ike Thomas and when I think about Ike I get a hard-on that won't quit.

Sixty years ago,I worked in what was once my Grandfather's Greenhouses. Gramps had died a year earlier and Grandma, now in her seventies had been forced to sell to the competition. I got a job with the new owners and mostly worked the range by myself. That summer, they hired a man to help me get the benches ready for the fall planting.

Ike always looked like he was three days from a shave and his whiskers were dirty white, shaded by the brim of his battered felt fedora.

He did not chew tobacco but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that, at any moment, I expected a trickle of thin, brown juice to creep down his chin. His bushy, brown eyebrows shaded pale, gray eyes.

Old Ike, he extended his hand, lifted his leg like a dog about to mark a bush and let go the loudest fart I ever heard. The old man winked at me, "Ike Thomas is the name and playing pecker's my game."

I thought he said, "Checkers." I was nineteen, green as grass. I said, "I was never much good at that game."

"Now me," said Ike, "I just love jumping men . . ."

"I'll bet you do."

". . . and grabbing on to their peckers," said Ike.

"I though we were talking about . . ."

"You like jumping old men's peckers?"

I shook my head.

"I reckon we'll have to remedy that." Ike lifted his right leg and let go another tremendous fart. "He said, "We best be getting to work."

That summer of 1941 was a more innocent time. I learned most of the sex I knew from those little eight pager cartoon booklets of comic-page characters going at it. Young men read them in the privacy of an outside john, played with themselves, by themselves and didn't brag about it. Sometimes, we got off with a trusted friend and helped each other out.

Under the greenhouse glass, the temperature some times climbed over the hundred degree mark. I had worked stripped to the waist since April and was as brown as a berry. On only his second day on the job and in the middle of August, Ike wore old fashioned overalls. Those and socks in his high-top work shoes was every stitch he wore. When he bent forward, the bib front billowed out and I could see the white curly hairs on his chest and belly.

"Me? I just love to eat pussy!" Ike licked his lips from corner to corner then sticking his tongue out far enough that the tip could touch the end of his nose. He said, A man's not a man till he knows first hand, the flavor of a lady's pussy."

"People do that?"

He winked. "Of course the taste of a hard cock ain't to be sneezed at neither. Now you answer me, yes or no. Does a man's cock taste salty or not?"

"I never . . ."

"Well, old Ike's willing to let you find out."

"No way."

"Just teasing," said Ike. "But don't give me no sass or I'll show you my ass." He winked. "Might show it to you anyway, if you was to ask."

"Why would I do that?"

"Curiosity, maybe. I'm guessing you never had a good piece of man ass."

"I'm no queer."

"Now don't be getting judgmental. Enjoying what's at hand ain't being queer. It's taking pleasure where you find it with anybody willing." Ike slipped a hand into the side slit of his overalls and I could tell he was fondling and straightening out his cock. "Now I admit I got me a hole that satisfied a few guys."

I swallowed, hard.

Ike winked. "Care to be asshole buddies?"


We worked steadily until noon. Ike drew a worn pocket watch from the bib pocket of his loose overalls and croaked, "Bean time. But first its time to reel out our limber hoses and make with the golden arches before lunch."

I followed Ike to the end of the greenhouse where he stopped at the outside wall of the potting shed. He opened his fly, fished inside, and finger-hooked a soft white penis with a pouting foreskin puckered half an inch past the hidden head.

"Yes sir," breathed Ike, "this old peter needs some draining." He exhaled a sigh as a strong, yellow stream splattered against the boards and ran down to soak into the earthen floor.

He caught me looking down at him. He winked. "Like what you're viewing, Boy?"

I looked away.

"You taking a serious interest in old Ike's pecker?"

I shook my head.

"Well you just haul out yourn and let old Ike return the compliment."

Feeling trapped and really having to go, I fumbled at my fly, turned away slightly, withdrew my penis and strained to start.

"Take your time boy. Let it all hang out. Old Ike's the first to admit that he likes looking at another man's pecker." He flicked away the last drop of urine and shook his limp penis vigorously.

I tried not to look interested.

"Yes sir, this old peepee feels so good out, I just might leave it out." He turned to give me a better view.

"What if somebody walks in?"

Ike shrugged. He looked at my strong yellow stream beating against the boards and moved a step closer. "You got a nice one,boy."

I glanced over at him. His cock was definitely larger and beginning to stick straight out. I nodded toward his crotch. "Don't you think you should put that away?"

"I got me strictly a parlor prick," said Ike. "Barely measures six inches." He grinned. "Of course it's big enough around to make a mouthful." He ran a thumb and forefinger along its length and drawing his foreskin back enough to expose the tip of the pink head. "Yersiree." He grinned, revealing nicotine stained teeth. "It sure feels good, letting the old boy breathe."

I knew I should button up and move away. I watched his fingers moving up and down the thickening column.

"You like checking out this old man's cock?"

I nodded. In spite of myself, my cock began to swell.

"Maybe we should have ourselves a little pecker pulling party." Ike slid his fingers back and forth on his expanding shaft and winked. "I may be old but I'm not against doing some little pud pulling with a friend."

I shook my head.

"Maybe I'll give my balls some air. Would you like a viewing of old Ike's hairy balls?"

I swallowed hard and moistened my dry lips.

He opened another button on his fly and pulled out his scrotum. "Good God, It feels good to set 'em free. Now let's see yours."


"Just to show you're neighborly," said Ike.

"I don't think so." I buttoned up and moved into the potting shed.

Ike followed, his cock and balls protruding from the front of his overalls. "Overlook my informality." Ike grinned. "As you can see I ain't bashful."

I nodded and took my sandwich from the brown paper bag.

"Yessir," said Ike. "I just might have to have myself an old fashioned peter pulling all by my lonesome. He unhooked a shoulder strap and let his overalls drop around his ankles.

I took a bite of my sandwich but my eyes remained on Ike.

"Yessiree," said Ike, "I got a good one if I do say so myself. Gets nearly as hard as when I was eighteen. You know why?"

I shook my head.

"Cause I keep exercising him. When I was younger I was pulling on it three time a day. Still like to do him every day I can."

"Some say you'll go blind if you do that too much."

"Bull-loney!" Don't you believe that shit. I been pulling my pud for close to fifty years and I didn't start till I was fifteen."

I laughed.

"You laughing at my little peter, boy?"

"Your hat." I pointed to the soiled, brown fedora cocked on his head. That and his overalls draped about his ankles were his only items of apparel. In between was a chest full of gray curly hair, two hairy legs. Smack between them stood an erect, pale white cock with a tip of foreskin still hiding the head.

"I am one hairy S.O.B.," said Ike.

"I laughed at you wearing nothing but a hat."

"Covers up my bald spot," said Ike. "I got more hair on my ass than I got on my head. Want to see?"

"Your head?"

"No, Boy, my hairy ass and around my tight, brown asshole." He turned, reached back with both hands and parted his ass cheeks to reveal the small, puckered opening. "There it is, Boy, the entrance lots of good feelings. Tell me, Boy, how would you like to put it up old Ike's ass?"

"I don't think so."

"That'd be the best damned piece you ever got."

"We shouldn't be talking like this."

"C'mon now, confess, don't this make your cock perk up a little bit?"

"I reckon," I confessed.

"You ever seen an old man's hard cock before," asked Ike.

"My grandpa's when I was twelve or thirteen."

"How'd that come about?"

He was out in the barn and didn't know I was around. He dropped his pants. It was real big he did things to it. He saw me and he turned around real fast but I saw it."

"What did your grandpa do?"

"He said I shouldn't be watching him doing that. He said something like grandma wouldn't give him some,' that morning and that I should get out of there and leave a poor man in peace to do what he had to do."

"Did you want to join him."

"I might have if he'd asked. He didn't."

"I like showing off my cock," said Ike. "A hard-on is something I always been proud of. A hard-on proves a man's a man. Makes me feel like a man that can do things." He looked up at me and winked. "You getting a hard-on from all this talk, son?"

I nodded and looked away.

"Then maybe you should pull it out and show old Ike what you got."

"We shouldn't."

"Hey. A man's not a man till he jacked off with a buddy."

I wanted to but I was as nervous as hell.

Ike grinned and fingered his pecker. "C'mon, Boy, between friends, a little cock showing is perfectly fine. Lets see what you got in the cock and balls department."

In spite of my reluctance, I felt the stirring in my crotch. I had curiosity that needed satisfying. It had been a long, long time since I had walked in on my grandfather .

"C'mon let's see it all."

I shook my head.

"You can join the party anytime, said Ike. "Just drop your pants and pump away."

I had the urge. There was a tingling in my crotch. My cock was definitely willing and I had a terrible need to adjust myself down there. But my timidity and the strangeness of it all held me back.

Hope you don't mind if I play out this hand." Ike grinned. "It feels like I got a winner."

I stared at his gnarled hand sliding up and down that pale, white column and I could not look away. I wet my lips and shook my head.

Old Ike's about to spout a geyser." Ike breathed harder as he winked. "Now if I just had a long finger up my ass. You interested, boy?"

I shook my head.

The first, translucent, white glob crested the top of his cock and and arced to the dirt floor. Ike held his cock at the base with thumb and forefinger and tightened noticeably with each throb of ejaculation until he was finished.

I could not believe any man could do what he had done in front of another human being.

Ike sighed with pleasure and licked his fingers. "A man ain't a man till he's tasted his own juices."

He squatted, turned on the faucet and picked up the connected hose. He directed the water between his legs and on to his still dripping prick and milked the few remaining drops of white, sticky stuff into the puddle forming at his feet. "Cool water sure feels good on a cock that just shot its wad," said Ike.


"Cock-tale telling time," said Old Ike. It was the next day and he rubbed the front of his dirty,worn overalls where his bulge made the fly expand as his fingers smoothed the denim around the outline of his expanding cock.

I wasn't sure what he had in mind but I knew it wasn't something my straight-laced Grandma would approve of.

"Don't you like taking your cock out and jacking it?" Ike licked his lips.

I shook my head in denial.

"Sure you do. A young man in his prime has got to be pulling his pud."

I stared at his calloused hand moving over the growing bulge at his crotch.

"Like I said," continued Ike, "I got me barely six inches when he's standing up." He winked at me. "How much you got, son?"

"Almost seven inches . . ." I stuttered. "Last time I measured."

"And I'm betting it feels real good with your fist wrapped around it."

"I don't do . . ."

"Everybody does it." He scratched his balls and said,"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Then, looking me in the eye, he lifted his leg like a dog at a tree and let out a long, noisy fart.

Denying that I jacked off, I said, "I saw yours yesterday."

"A man has got to take out his pecker every once in a while." He winked and his fingers played with a button on his fly. Care to join me today?"

"I don't think so."

"What's the matter, boy? You ashamed of what's hanging 'tween your skinny legs?"

"It's not for showing off."

"That would be so with a crowd of strangers but with a friend, in a friendly showdown, where's the harm?

"It shouldn't be shown to other people. My Grandma said that a long time ago when I went to the bathroom against a tree when I was seven.

"There's nothing like a joint pulling among friends to seal a friendship," said Ike.

I don't think so." I felt very much, ill at ease.

"Then what the fuck is it for," demanded the old man. "A good man shares his cock with his friends. How old are you boy?"

"Nineteen almost twenty."

You ever fucked a woman?"


"Ever fucked a man?"

"Of course not.

"Son, you ain't never lived till you've fired your load up a man's tight ass."

"I didn't know men did that to each other."

"Men shove it up men's asses men all the time. They just don't talk about it like they do pussy."

"You've done that?"

"I admit this old pecker's been up a few manholes. More than a few hard cocks have shagged this old ass over the years." He shook his head, wistfully, "I still have a hankering for a hard one up the old dirt chute."

"I think that would hurt."

"First time, it usually does," agreed Ike. He took a bite from his sandwich.

I looked at my watch. Ten minutes of our lunch hour had already passed.

"We got time for a quickie," said Ike. "There's no one around to say, stop, if were enjoying ourselves."

He unhooked the slide off the button of one shoulder-strap, pushed the bib of his overalls down to let them fall to his feet.

"Showtime," said Ike. Between his legs, white and hairy, his semi-hard cock emerged from a tangled mass of brown and gray pubic hair. The foreskin, still puckered beyond the head of the cock, extended downward forty-five degrees from the horizontal but was definitely on the rise.

I could only stare at the man. Until the day before, I had never seen an older man with an erection besides my grandpa.

Ike moved his fingers along the stalk of his manhood until the head partially emerged, purplish and broad. He removed his hand for a moment and it bobbled obscenely in the subdued light of the potting shed. Ike leaned back against a bin of clay pots like a model on display. "Like I said, boy, it gets the job done."

I found it difficult not to watch. "You shouldn't . . ."

"C'mon, boy. Show Ike your pecker. I'm betting it's nice and hard."

I grasped my belt and tugged on the open end. I slipped the waistband button and two more before pushing down my blue jeans and shorts down in one move. My cock bounced and slapped my belly as I straightened."

"That's a beaut." Ike stroked his pale, white cock with the purplish-pink head shining. "I'm betting it'll grow some more if you stroke it."

"We really shouldn't . . ."

"Now don't tell me you never stroked your hard peter with a buddy."

"I've done that," I finally admitted,. "But he was the same age as me and it was a long time ago." I though back to the last time Chuck and me jerked each other off in the loft of our old barn. Chuck wanted more as a going away present and we had sucked each other's dicks a little bit.

"Jackin's always better when you do it with somebody," said Ike. "Then you can lend each other a helping hand."

"I don't know about that," I said.

Ike's hand continued moving on his old cock as he leaned over to inspect mine. "God Damn! Boy. That cock looks good enough to eat." Ike licked his lips. "You ever had that baby sucked?"

I shook my head as I watched the old man stroke his hard, pale cock.

"Well boy, I'd say you're packing a real mouthful for some lucky gal or guy." He grinned. "Well c'mon. Let's see you get down to some serious jacking. Old Ike's way ahead of you."

I wrapped my fist around my stiff cock and moved the foreskin up and over the head on the up stroke. On the down stroke the expanded corona of the angry, purple head stared obscenely at the naked old man.

Ike toyed with his modest six inches. "What do you think of this old man's cock?" His fist rode down to his balls and a cockhead smaller than the barrel stared back at mine.

"I guess I'm thinking this is like doing it with my grandpa."

"You ever wish you could a done this with your grandpa?"

"I thought about it a lot."

"Ever see him with a hard-on."

"I told you about that!"

"Ever think about him doing your grandma?"

"I can't imagine her ever doing anything with a man.

"Take my word for it, sonny, we know she did it or you wouldn't be here." Begrudgingly I nodded in agreement.

"Everybody fucks," said old Ike. "They fuck or they jack off."

"If you say so."

"Say sonny, your cocks getting real juicy with slickum. Want old Ike to lick some of it away?"

"You wouldn't."

Ike licked his lips as he kept his hand pistoning up and down his hard cock. "You might be surprised what old Ike might do if he was in the mood for a taste of what comes out of a hard cock."

And that is what he proceeded to do. He sucked me dry.

Then he erupted in half-a-dozen spurts shooting out and onto the dirt floor of the potting shed. He gave his cock a flip and shucked t back into his overalls. He unwrapped a sandwich from its wax paper and proceed to eat without washing his hands. He took a bite and chewed. "Nothing like it boy, a good jacking clears the cobwebs from your crotch and gives a man an appetite."


The following day, We skipped the preliminaries. We dropped our pants. Ike got down on his knees and sucked me until I was hard and good and wet before he stood and turned.

"C'mon boy, Shove that pretty cock up old Ike's tight, brown hole and massage old Ike's prostate.

Ike bent forward and gripped the edge of the potting bench. The lean, white cheeked buttocks parted slightly and exposed the dark brown, crinkly, puckered star of his asshole "Now you go slow and ease it along until you've got it all the way in," he cautioned. "This old ass craves your young cock but it don't want too much too soon. You've got to let this old hole stretch to accommodate you."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Easy boy, easy," he cautioned. "You feel a lot bigger than you look. Put a little more spit in your cock."

"It's awfully tight. I don't know if it's going to go or not."

"It'll go," said Ike. "There's been bigger boys than you up the old shit chute."

I slipped in the the last few inches.. "It's all in."

"I can tell," said Ike. "Your cock hairs are tickling my ass."

"Are you ready," I asked.

"How are you liking old Ike's hairy asshole so far?"

"It's real tight."

"Tighter than your fist?"

"Might be."

"Ready to throw a fuck into a man that reminds you of your grandpa."

"I reckon."

"I want you should do old Ike one more favor."


While you're pumpin' my ass, would you reach around and play with my dick like you would your own? Would you do that for an old man?"

I reached around and took hold of his hard cock sticking out straight in front of him. I pilled the skin back and then pulled it up and over the expanded glans. I felt my own cock expand inside him as I manipulated his staff in my fingers. I imagined that my cock extended through him and I was playing with what came out the other side of him.

"C'mon, boy, ram that big cock up the old shitter and make me know it. God Damn! tickle that old prostate and make old Ike come!"

I came. And I came. Ike's tightened up on my cock and I throbbed Roman Candle bursts into that brown hole as I pressed into him. His hairy, scrawny ass flattened against my crotch and we were joined as tightly as two humans can be.

"A man's not a man till he's cum in another man." said old Ike. "You made it, boy. But still, a man's not a man till he's had a hard cock poked up his ass at least once."

Every time I think of that scene, I get another hard-on. Then I remember the next day when old Ike returned the favor.

I never have managed to come that hard again. If only Ike were here.

a funny thing (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5384991)

Two months ago I was buying a Radeon 9700 at Circuit City. The manager wanted $211.99 it. I informed him that I had just bought just such a card the previous week at a competing store for $111.59. I also told him that some day I would be able to buy a ATI card over the Internet for $399. He turned with a twinkle in his eye that caught me off my usual gaurd, laughed and said, "LOL, Light Emitting Fabrics!"

Good, maybe we can get scented panties... (0, Troll)

SensitiveMale (155605) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385018)

for those ladies that don't douche!

Disco Stu (2, Insightful)

Capt'n Hector (650760) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385055)

if only this had come in the age of the disco... endless possibilities! Now, I can't help but think this will go the way of the segway.

Be careful... (1)

baywulf (214371) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385063)

before interwoven patents this fabric.

Does anyone remember HyperColor? (3, Funny)

adzoox (615327) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385069)

In the mid 80's I had two TShirts and a Golf Shirt that turned a different color when you got wet or warm. The only problem with the golf shirt was that the whole thing was HyperColor material, so, people saw if you were nervous. I remember finding out that it was the wrong 8th grade date shirt.

What I thought was even more interesting is that at first the company who made it, Generra, was a prime brand, it ended up a few years later in the forgotten trends market at Montgomery Ward.

It's going to be interesting. It's looking like one day we will have clothes that change color, glow, smell and have RFID tags. Maybe Gap will just make any stolen T Shirt Stink and glow with the words, "I stole this" or "I don't fold things back neatly at the Gap"

Re:Does anyone remember HyperColor? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385311)

adzoox writes:
the whole thing was HyperColor material, so, people saw if you were nervous. I remember finding out that it was the wrong 8th grade date shirt.
Times have sure changed. Aren't you glad homosexual relationships are now accepted.

None more black (1)

jforr (15487) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385076)

Maybe they should try costumes painted with superblack paint?

Re:None more black (3, Funny)

martingunnarsson (590268) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385427)

Men in black, Men in black II, Men in Superblack!

And illegal in Halifax, Nova Scotia (3, Informative)

kfg (145172) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385084)

Coming soon to a city near you.


I know some people... (1)

L053R (555186) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385085)

I sure hope the guys at pick up on this.
There are plenty of guys in the Math and CS depts around here who could use some 'decent' smelling clothes :|
Perhaps it could be mandatory?

Pretty, but expensive (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385100)

I emailed them about it. Here is the reply.

Thank you for your interest in Luminex.

We are Zuzka, the exclusive Distribution & Product Development team for Luminex in the US & Canada.

Yes, the optical fiber fabric is available for purchase!

The minimum is 50 yards per fabric type.

The fabric is woven with optical fiber (and is illuminated by LED's) into the following fabrics:

- Double sided LED polyester (sheer quality/ 7 colors) 58 "w $280/yd
- Lycra 58 "w $280/yd
- Super Velo (extra densely woven optical fibers) TK

LED colors available: white, blue, red, green, &yellow

Standard fabrics allow the LED color to be different every 18"

Double sided fabrics are capable of having two different colored LED's merging into the same fibers to create additional colors

Orders for quantity and for custom made sample products (i.e: pillows, jackets, etc.) can processed by phone and finished to your specs.

Yardage Prices do not include rechargeable 3.6v battery and recharging kit.

all SAMPLES must be purchased: $234-364/yd
battery: $24 per battery
recharger kit: $26 per recharger.

weaves available include 7 kinds of poly's: white, blue, silver, gold, red, green, cream & black

Delivery is currently 4-8 weeks

please do not hesitate to contact me for more info:

Christopher Berger
Zuzka for Fabricology Inc.
37 East 18th Street, Suite 10
New York, NY 10003

T 212. 260.1876
F 212. 260.7963

Geek Gear but... (4, Funny)

pc-0x90 (547757) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385113)

if people are going to start pushing for this with built in deodorants and perfumes to hide the fact that it will be worn over and over by people with poor hygiene, why would we care that it is [a] dry-cleanable or [b] machine washable? C'mon, think of the target audience in the writeup!

Shouldn't be for geeks. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385144)

Forget about the geeks, the first few productions should be for the French.

Next on slashdot (4, Funny)

ptaff (165113) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385145)

Let's play the scent game. Next on slashdot:
  • Beer-smelling refrigerators;
  • Girl-scented hacker keyboards;
  • Apple fragrance for computers;
  • Jazz CD's with a swing aroma;
  • Envelopes stamped with pine's odour;
  • Phones that smell like pizza;
... overreached myself ...

Re:Next on slashdot (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385594)

or Jazz mags with swinger aroma

What's next? (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385169)

How about glowing bed sheets and blankets? That would make for some really amazing sex.

Robert Siegel... (1)

Talking Goat (645295) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385191)

... is super-dreamy. I wonder if I can get a Siegel-scented tie?

Dilemma (1)

CoderByBirth (585951) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385193)

What will all the geeks that don't use deodorant wear now, huh?

I think it stinks (2, Interesting)

demo9orgon (156675) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385211)

I'm not alone when I say that artificial smells and designer perfumes in fabrics is a terrible idea. There are many people who get migraine-level headaches when Ms. Thang and whatever she's doused herself with come wafting through the office. If I thought (vomiting,trepanation,pre-frontal lobotomy,ECT) would help get rid of the headache and nausea, I'd do it. If they think they smell that bad, why don't they stay home. I read somwhere that this is one of the major complaints people have against their fellow employees...and we're not talking bad body odor. Some perfumes can make you violently ill.

Hopefully this crap will never see mass-market.

Old story (1)

floydman (179924) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385214)

Slashdot []

Finding clothes will be even harder now (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385246)

Finding clothes I like is hard enough already.
I notice that lately, every single item of clothing has something wrong (hideous) about it.
The other day, saw a nice long sleeved black T-shirt, looked ok. But someone had decided to put a pocket on the left breast. doh.
The shirt next to it, no pocket, but a tiny white stripe around the middle. wonderful.

So now not only will we have to put up with crap like that, the next shirt I find that looks good might make me smell like a fairy? :(

Derelicte (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385271)

Will hobos still be able to maintain their earthly scent?

Luminex will be great (1)

Bender Unit 22 (216955) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385276)

I'd say that Luminex would be great for my second-base mobile, along with the quadraphonic sound, the waterbed, and the strobe light.

oh yeah baby!

yep. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5385333)

Very gay.

Great (2, Interesting)

Kanasta (70274) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385340)

now I'll have to buy new clothes when the perfume runs out?

The President's new clothes (1)

IXI (586504) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385357)

Let the president wear luminex suits and it will bring a little brightness into the White House.

self-illuminating Bright Green Jacket (1)

z_gringo (452163) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385527)

And what happens if I want my new self-illuminating bright green jacket to be Scent Free?

And why weave scents into the fabric anyway?

New Novelty Scent Fabric Lines (2, Interesting)

MisterMook (634297) | more than 11 years ago | (#5385569)

I can just see the novelty market for this...

Tweed sweaters with that "old man" smell

Bras for your teenage daughter that smell like gun smoke.

Skirts for your ex-wife that smell like female dogs in heat, but only to other dogs. Now an excuse to get her a present this year!

Bed sheets that always smell like you've washed them.

Car upolstery that always smells new.

Child clothes that smell like bubblegum.

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