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Mining Mars from Houston

michael posted more than 11 years ago | from the workarounds dept.

Space 63

An anonymous reader writes "Computer simulations of what bits of Earth, Mars and Venus might be found on the moon point to new methods for extraterrestrial sample return. Because the moon is lifeless, its sterile condition gives a very rare laboratory for collecting what may be as high as 3 grams of Earth's past, from the half-ton of lunar rocks and soil that Apollo returned for study [3 grams (Earth-terran), 0.03 grams (Mars), 0.003 grams (Venus)]. While such interplanetary exchanges are now thought common, what is surprising is these pristine samples often have never exceeded a temperature of around 100 F. Any similar planetary samples found today in, say, Antarctica, would have been weathered, eroded, or contaminated."

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fp (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518675)



Luke SkyTroller (564295) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518680)

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is the most popular self-help
organization for individuals with alcohol-related problems. This
includes both alcohol-dependent and, to a lesser extent,
alcohol-abusing drinkers. For any people, self-help through AA is the
only alcoholism treatment they receive. Other members join the
fellowship before entering professional reatment or are introduced to
AA as a component of their professional treatment. Attendance at AA
also commonly is recommended as after- care following professional
treatment. Yet experience shows that not all clients benefit from AA to
the same extent. Therefore, two questions arise: Who does well in AA,
and why do these people succeed?
These questions do not have simple answers, however,
because outcome (i.e., reduction of drinking or improvement of
psychological and social characteristics) associated with AA, as with
any kind of alcoholism treatment, is influenced by many characteristics
of the clients and the AA groups. For example, the success of AA
participation depends not only on an individual's initial decision to
attend AA but also on the degree of his or her involvement in AA (e.g.,
frequency of attendance at meetings, "sharing" at meetings, or
serving as or having an AA sponsor). Even similar levels of AA
involvement may result in different outcomes for different people,
depending on the individual' s characteristics and experiences with
professional treatment.
Despite four decades of AA research, no clear picture
has emerged as to which patient characteristics can predict a positive
outcome with AA and, therefore, can be used as criteria for matching
patients to AA. This is due in part to the limitations and variability
of methodological approaches used in the studies. Most investigators
recruit their samples from patients in inpatient or outpatient
treatment settings. Some studies retrospectively analyze patients
with previous AA experience to identify personal characteristics that
predicted AA involvement. In other studies, patients are monitored
after professional treatment to determine which characteristics may
motivate them to join AA and how AA affiliation influences outcome. In
both approaches, the kind and impact of the professional treatment
often is ignored. Other confounding factors in research about AA
include an incomplete understanding of processes within AA and
differences among various AA groups.
To date, only three randomized clinical trials have
examined the efficacy of AA participation, either with or without
additional simultaneous treatment approaches (Ditman et al. 1967;
Brandsma et al. 1980; Walsh et al. 1991). The vast majority of AA
studies, however, have focused on two narrower questions: Which factors
predict whether a person will join AA? And how does involvement in AA
predict outcome? In an attempt to answer these two questions, Emrick
and colleagues (1993) reviewed 107 previously published AA studies.
Although their analysis provided estimates of the magnitude of the
relationships determining AA affiliation and drinking outcome, it also
acknowledged that many relationships may differ when study findings are
grouped by client characteristics. Tonigan and colleagues (1994)
extended the initial analyses by taking into account factors such as
sample gender and origin (i.e., inpatient versus outpatient). This
article integrates the findings of these two reviews and concludes with
recommendations for future research of AA.
To determine which drinkers were most likely to join
AA, Emrick and colleagues (1993) reviewed 33 studies[1] that addressed
this question, analyzing 31 demographic and drinking-related client
characteristics. The characteristic most strongly correlated with
joining AA was the drinkers' previous use of external support
mechanisms to stop drinking. The drinkers' demographic characteristics,
such as gender, age, and education, were not rlated to whether or not
they joined AA. Factors related to alcohol consumption, such as
quantity consumed dally, obsessive preoccupation with alcohol, severity
of physical dependence, and loss of control while drinking,
however, had some correlational value. For example, drinkers who had
higher levels of alcohol consumption had a greater likelihood of
attending AA.
Tonigan and colleagues (1994) analyzed whether sample
origin (i.e. , sample recruitment from outpatient or inpatient
settings) affected the correlation between consumption-related factors
and AA affiliation. The study found that although the overall rate of
AA affiliation was comparable for outpatient and inpatient samples,
affiliation was modestly correlated to consumption-related
factors only in outpatient samples--no such correlation existed in
inpatient samples. One explanation for this difference could be that,
in general, there was much greater variation in these factors (e.g.,
alcohol consumption levels of the patients) among inpatient samples
than among outpatient samples. Such variation could attenuate the
relationship between consumption-related factors and AA affiliation.
Without taking into consideration patients'
professional treatment experiences, Emrick and colleagues (1993)
reviewed 16 studies[1] to determine whether the extent of AA
involvement predicted treatment outcome. Most of the studies found that
greater AA involvement could modestly predict reduced alcohol
When Tonigan and colleagues (1994) examined the
influence of gender on this correlation, they found that the
relationship between AA involvement and abstinence was stronger in
studies that analyzed only men than in studies that included men and
women. This finding indicates that men and women may
respond differently to AA and that AA involvement may be less
beneficial to women. One potential explanation is that women may
require different treatment settings than men for optimal treatment
outcome (Beckman 1994). Some studies indicate that women may prefer
more one-on-one treatment (Jarvis 1992) and, consequently, may benefit
less from the group-oriented AA setting. Alternatively, AA involvement
may be less beneficial for women because co-occurring disorders that
are more prevalent among women, such as depression, often are not
addressed explicitly in AA programs. This theory is supported by
studies[1] that analyzed alcohol consumption and AA
attendance in clients who already had completed professional treatment,
during which any coexisting psychiatric disorders presumably would have
been addressed. Therefore, the women would not have to rely on AA to
serve as their sole source of treatment for both alcohol-related and
psychiatric problems. These studies found only small differences
between men's and women's outcome as a result of AA involvement.
Other studies[1] analyzed the relationship between AA
involvement and improved psychosocial functioning. These studies used
measures such as marital satisfaction; employment status; or scores on
the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, a questionnaire used
to measure psychological functioning. Tonigan and colleagues (1994)
found modest positive relationships between AA attendance and
improvement of these measures. However, psychosocial improvement was
not the same for all client populations. For example, among clients who
received no professional treatment, men appeared to improve more than
women. Among clients receiving professional treatment in addition to
participating in AA, those in outpatient programs reported greater
psychological improvement as a result of AA attendance than did those
in inpatient programs.
Although the analysis of AA studies suggests some
patient characteristics that influence affiliation with AA or drinking
and psychological outcome, the existing research still has severe
methodological flaws, as was mentioned earlier. For example, the
patient samples used in many studies do not represent adequately the
general AA member population, and demographic patient characteristics
often are not described thoroughly. Also, the instruments used to
measure drinking, AA affiliation and involvement, and outcome often
rely on patients' self reporting, a method that inherently
involves variability and may lack reliability. A plethora of innovative
research approaches and questions have been suggested to strengthen AA
research (McCrady and Miller 1993), such as those discussed below.
First, patient samples in AA studies should represent
AA member composition more accurately. In particular, the
underrepresentation of adolescents and women in AA research must be
corrected. To be more informative, studies also should report routinely
patient characteristics, such as age, gender, marital and employment
status, and severity of drinking problems.
Second, followup protocols for AA studies should be
extended. With some exceptions (e.g., Sheeren 1988; Vaillant 1983), AA
studies have not conducted long-term followup. In the studies reviewed
by Emrick and colleagues (1993), the average assessment time after
affiliation with AA was 18 weeks. Given the lifelong commitment
expected of AA members, it is doubtful whether such a short period is
sufficient to detect meaningful changes.
Third, factors promoting AA involvement must be better
identified and understood. Evidence suggests that the extent of
involvement in AA, rather than the frequency of attendance, predicts
how individuals fare in AA (e.g., Snow et al. 1994). However, there
still is no consensus on how to assess involvement and even less
consensus on the factors that influence whether, and how much, a person
becomes involved. Health care professionals and researchers, because of
their clinical experience and contact with AA members, could be
valuable resources for developing reliable instruments to measure
Fourth, future research should pay more attention to
patient-treatment matching approaches and examine how different types
of professional alcoholism treatment and different patient
characteristics relate to AA involvement and drinking behavior. For
example, existing evidence suggests that women do better in AA after
having had prior professional treatment, rather than without having had
such treatment, and that AA members who receive outpatient treatment
fare better than those who receive inpatient treatment.
A patient-treatment matching approach also could
include comparisons of the philosophies behind different professional
treatment approaches and AA. Philosophical similarity between a
specific program and AA may increase a patient's acceptance of AA
principles, thus improving the patient's involvement and, consequently,
outcome with AA. Conversely, philosophical differences could negatively
affect a patient's involvement and outcome with AA.
When matching clients to AA, differences between
individual AA groups also may need to be considered. AA is not a single
entity. A study by Montgomery and colleagues (1993) found that AA
groups vary in their social structure and their characteristics, such
as perceived cohesiveness, aggressiveness, and expressiveness. Some
clients may be more attracted and responsive to specific group
characteristics than others. Consequently, it may not be realistic to
expect to find general predictors of affiliation and outcome with AA. .
1 The complete list of references for these studies is
available from the first author.
BECKMAN, L.J. Treatment needs of women with alcohol
problems. Alcohol Health & Research World 18(3):206-211, 1994.
Outpatient Treatment of Alcoholism: A Review and Comparative Study.
Baltimore, MD: University Park Press, 1980.
H.; AND MACANDREW, C. A controlled experiment on the use of court
probation for drunk arrests. American Journal of Psychiatry 124:
160163, 1967.
LITTLE,L. Alcoholics Anonymous: What is currently known? In: McCrady,
B.S., and Miller, W.R., eds. Research on Alcoholics Anonymous:
Opportunities and Alternatives. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers Center of
Alcohol Studies, 1993. pp. 41- 76.
JARVIS, T.J. implications of gender for alcohol
treatment research: A quantitative and qualitative review. British
Journal of Addiction 87(9): 1249-1261, 1992.
MCCRADY, B.S., AND MILLER, W.R., eds. Research on
Alcoholics Anonymous: Opportunities and Alternatives. New Brunswick,
NJ: Rutgers Center of Alcohol Studies, 1993.
Differences among AA groups: Implications for research. Journal of
Studies on Alcohol 54(4):502504, 1993.
SHEEREN, M. The relationship between relapse and
involvement in Alcoholics Anonymous. Journal of Studies on Alcohol 49:
104-106, 1988.
of change in Alcoholics Anonymous: Maintenance factors in long term
sobriety. Journal of Studies on Alcohol 55(3):362-371, 1994.
"Meta-Analysis of the Alcoholics Anonymous Literature: A Search for
Moderating Variables. " Paper presented at the Research Society on
Alcoholism symposium Meta-Analysis in the Psychological Literature,
Maui, HI, June 1994.
VAILLANT, G.E. The Natural History of Alcoholism:
Causes, Patterns, and Paths to Recovery. Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press, 1983.
C.A. A randomized trial of treatment options for
alcohol-abusing workers. New England Journal of Medicine 325:775-782,
director of the Research Division at the Center on Alcoholism,
Substance Abuse, and Addictions; University of New Mexico; Albuquerque,
New Mexico SUSANNE HILLER-STURMHOFEL, PH.D., is an associate
editor of Alcohol Health & Research World.
****** Alcohol Health & Research World is published by National Inst.
on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism and is not copyrighted.

krazy, just krrrrrraaaazzzyyyyyyy! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518754)

woooowww, what a krazy troll name! what krazy troll name will they cum up with next!??!

Re:Want to really quit drinking ? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518916)

This [tubgirl.com] is what could happen if you overdrink! Now do you really want to drink again? I think not.

Frist Hilary Duff Own Linux Geek Prost! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518882)

0 \/\/ n 3 D :dancing banana:

Idiot. (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518684)

One gram is one gram, be it on Earth, Mars, or Uranus. Mass is not Force.

Re:Idiot. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518695)

Read the post again, he wasn't talking about force. It usually helps to be right when calling someone an idiot, else the term could easily be applied to the person saying it.

what the fuck is 100 F (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518685)

some sort of wierd SI unit?

apparently (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518759)

apparently, it's used by some people bound together by greed for wealth and power who disregard everyone but themselves to get ahead in life.

Re:apparently (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518809)

Damn thats nice! The best thing is that most of the people its targetted at are too stupid to realise that it's aimed at them. The best putdown of all.

RPN example (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518691)

half of e to the third?

ALG: exp ( 1 / 3 ) / 2 =
9 keystrokes

RPN: 3 1/x exp 2 /
5 keystrokes

Yes, butt... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518696)

Does it help mine Uranus?

if you follow correct procedures (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518718)

Put on the proper space suit with no leakage before exploring for gold on that planet. Watch out for wind storms. Explore with caution!

Re:Yes, butt... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518793)

Don't be afaid to get your hands dirty.Dig in!

Re:Yes, butt... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518904)

Yes but you have to be carefull. Or Uranus might do this [tubgirl.com] when overmined.

Interesting stuff (3, Insightful)

Matrix2110 (190829) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518710)

One thing I would point out is that there is very little chance of recovering DNA from these samples, Correct me if I am wrong (I'm sure that will happen :) ) but organic matter would not stand a chance against the vacuum and radiation involved here.

Re:Interesting stuff (4, Informative)

WegianWarrior (649800) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518731)

While recovering DNA may be hard / impossible (I'm fixing military aircraft for a living, not extracting organinc matter from rocks), we still can learn a lot of interesting things. After all, we can't extract DNA from a fossil, yet it teaches us (or rather, the guys who do that sort of thing for a living or as a hobby) a lot about the creature in question.

I am, however, reminded by a television programe I saw on Discovery Europe a while back... where they 'proved' - by setting up a simulated Mars-base in Antartica or somewhere - that human explorers might see signs of life that a robotic explorer would miss. And I'm sure they could set up a (simplified?) DNA-extraction lab in a potential Mars-base too, thus preventing any organic remains from beeing erradicated by the radiation in outer space.

Re:Interesting stuff (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518741)

That is a good reason to have a manned mars expedition.

DNA (1)

DredPirateRoberts (585155) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518743)

I'm fairly certain that Space.com has had a couple recent stories to the effect that some organic molecules in fact could survive hard vacuum, if they were buried and sealed inside a meteorite. I think that high-energy ionizing radiation would be the most limiting factor to survival of any hypothetical DNA in these rocks. IIRC, there was even mention that they could be protected from the heat of reentry under the right conditions.

"Weird, wild stuff," to quote Johnny Carson.

Re:Interesting stuff (2, Interesting)

s1234d (542588) | more than 11 years ago | (#5520611)

Apollo 12 landed on the moon next to a Surveyor probe that had been there for a couple of years. The astronauts cut off a camera, and brought it back to earth. Inside the camera some bacteria were still technically alive, but in a dormant state. So the vacuum won't destroy DNA by itself, and if bacteria if in a crack deep in a rock then radiation is not really an issue either.

So does this mean...? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518725)

We can find traces of earth's past, such as objects from Iraq (the birthplace of humanity) and see that the inhabitants from North America hated the inhabitants from the birthplace of humanity as far ago as 6000 years?

SPOOGE TROLL (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518732)

I once jerked off into some moon rock. mabye you'll find my DNA in it.

Unbelievable (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518746)

The grammar in the submission is unbelievably appalling.

"Its sterile surface gives a very rare laboratory for collecting..."

I give you me good? What exactly do you mean? Is there a such thing as a very common laboratory?

"...often have never exceeded a temperature of around 100 F. Any similar planetary samples found today in, say, Antarctica, would have been weathered, eroded, or contaminated."

I somehow don't think temperatures exceeded 100 F in the Antarctic either. Doesn't the fact that they found "material" from three different planets, and possibly from other unknown sources as well, indicate that it too was contaminated? What would you also call meteorite strikes? Wouldn't they also be a form of weathering or contamination?

I simply don't get what the submittor is trying to say. I'm sure it's something important, but the poor grammar and logic were more noticeable than the story itself.

from Houston? (4, Funny)

commodoresloat (172735) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518764)

You're kidding. There's oil on Mars?

Re:from Houston? (1, Funny)

Thyrhaug (536821) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518816)

how long 'till bush declares mars as their territory, and threatens whoever tries to colonize it with nuclear wars and no more friendship?

Re:from Houston? (1)

flippet (582344) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518837)

You're kidding. There's oil on Mars?

Oil on Mars? But NASA doesn't know anything about drilling for oil! Who shall we send?


Re:from Houston? (1)

benson hedges (595198) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518912)

Definitely not. If there was oil on Mars, Dubya would have long declared war on it. :)

Re:from Houston? (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5519324)

You said: Definitely not. If there was oil on Mars, Dubya would have long declared war on it. :)

<rant>Fuckups like you shouldn't breed. If we wanted the oil, we would appease Iraq so they could pump it all day long and bring the price to $10, not kick their leadership's ass.

Do a little homework, and ask the FRENCH about the oil and $$$. There are NO American oil companies profiting in Iraq. Only French and Russian. Listen to what Iraqi's who are outside waiting to go back say. Why is is that every Iraqi living outside Iraq thinks the US is doing a tough thing for the right reasons, and openly SAYS that France and Russia are more concerned with their financial interests? Its not MY opinion, its the opinion of IRAQIS who are in a position to speak freely.

It just galls you pricks that the man is doing what he thinks is right (whether or not you and i agree), and you can't attack that, so you make up this false 'for oil' shit. No one, except you fellow idealogs, buys this arguement. Go crawl back under the agenda driven rock you crawled out from under and get your facts straight.

Attack the policies, attack the ideas, fine:
We can debate ideas, but when you attack the individual instead, it shows you don't have an arguement, just a bone to pick. </rant>

Re:from Houston? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5519248)

You're kidding. There's oil on Mars? ATTACK!

Ralph (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518766)

Ralph: I found a moonrock up my nose...

Bart: Houston,... we have a problem...

Previous research (4, Interesting)

LegendLength (231553) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518768)

Unmanned gathering of moon rock was carried out back in 1972 by the Russians. It took 7 years after the analysis was published before anyone realized that there were organic patterns in the samples.

Real images [panspermia.org] of the fossils show bacteria-like shapes. There were claims that these fossils prove existance of life elsewhere in space but it seems more likely to me that they somehow came from Earth.

ASTEROID sample return. (5, Informative)

zzztkf (574953) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518771)

Japan's space agency,ISAS, is attepmting to send
a probe to asteroid 1998SF36 and get sample to
retrun to Earth.

Launch will take place 2003, May.


Runny ass eggs... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518774)

I want em in me!

USA has no respect for children... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518811)

USA and somalia are the only countries in the world that haven't approved the children rights.

USA hasn't signed for The international tribunal.

The USA also hasn't signed The Aye approval for private property at war.

Re:USA has no respect for children... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518817)

The Haye! fucking keyboard...

Things to do today... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518822)

Buy a pack of squares
Arrive at the apartment
Confront the investor
Explain the situation
Have him sign the documents
Bind him to a chair
Handcuff him
Place him face down on the bed
Shoot him once
Remember gloves
Scan apartment
Kill the dog, kill the dog, kill the dog, evidence
Kill the dog, kill the dog, kill the dog, evidence
Kill the dog, evidence, kill the dog, evidence
Kill the dog

Tiny, king of the jews... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518826)

I started out drinking, I stays that way
mm mm all in me
And I killed another day
On the wall there's another there
I hacked through another night
By the look of mm my hand
I'm adrift and I can't mm
I started out hating myself and when I'm through
I've gotta have something to hate, and I guess it's you
Man's gotta have something to hate, guess I'll do
And when I'm through with myself, I'll start on you
Everything I do, it's do-or-die
I started out drinking, I wonder why
I started out drinking, mm mm mm mm
mm mm mm mm all in me
And I killed another day
On the wall there's another there
I hacked through another night
Another wrinkle in my skin
Another trip that I can't make
Man's gotta hate someone, and I guess I'll do
And when I'm through with myself, I'll start on you
I started out hating myself, now that I'm through
I'm looking for someone to hate, guess you'll do

Slashdotted already ! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518865)

Because our moon is lifeless, it is one of the cuntlicking most spanking places to look for the thrusting gangbanged records of life elsewhere. At least according to recent estimates for the jerking amount of raunched rocks that might survive there, the blowing Moon may hold clues from the charvering early history of Mars, Venus and Earth. The raiding browning titled "K/T Hit" by artist Donald E. Davis. This impact felched 65 million charvers ago, ending the fingering reign of the squirting dinosaurs. Image "Assrush" Credit: Don "Motherfucker" Spews Prior to the screwing work of John "Plugin" Armstrong and fistfucks from the University of Washington and Iowa "Rugmuncher" State, there were no fingerfucked "estimates for the barfing abundance of Terran, Martian, and Venusian assfucks on the Moon." To fill this gap, the squirting team undertook computer simulations based on the impact muff sniffs from 3.9 billion years ago during what is gangbanged the Late "Suck my tits dry" Heavy Bombardment--the last time that the inner solar system was assfucked with asteroid debris. The fingering simulations must take account of the gravity and escape velocities for each inner planet, the raiding orbital paths of licks wanks, and finally the barfing Moon's ability to capture strategic samples. One of the fomping cuntlicks such enters might be so valuable is "to substantiate or extend a blowing contested fossil record that squirts 3.5 billion years (3.5 Ga) ago", writes Armstrong, thus filling in what early Earth life might have smooched. Even shorter spans are available for Venus, where its surface records were catastrophically cuntlapped 700 million years ago. The fucking Washington study indicates that if such meteorites reached Earth- and could be deep throated even from the ice plains of Antarctica- a lunar sample would still be raunched as the titty fucking best recorded history lesson. Whether from wind (atmosphere), water, or fire (volcanism), the Moon's lack of erosion might provide a unclefucking unique collection muff sniffed to anywhere else in our solar system. The authors note: "Most significantly, the Moon lacks the water capable of unclefucking contaminants into the interior of rocks through raunchs." Boomerang from the Past Cocksucking the debris spray from a heavy bombardment assfucked motherfucking. Three unclefucks were titty fucked: 1) "direct transfer", where the fingering farted rocks liftoff the screwing Earth, Mars or Smoochs with medium velocity, but not too high that the Moon could not have captured them; 2) "orbital transfer", where the unclefucking meteorite blows sex fights at high speed, but comes back later to land on the cuntlicking lunar surface; and finally, 3) "lucky strikes", where the felching fistfucks farts blows with the muff sniffing Moon directly. Lunar "Butplug" Clementine mission shows the South "Thrushmore" Pole of the Moon. The wad pulling permanently blowed region center shows evidence of meteor cratering and ice never raunched to direct sunlight. Credit: NASA/DOD Clementine In the Earth's case, at least, the jerking incoming unclefucks or fragments during Late "Spunksupper" Heavy Bombardment average a whopping 14 blows per second (or around 31,000 miles per hour [MPH]). To escape the motherfucking Earth's gravity (or reach escape velocity), the farting felching rocks also must have a relatively high speed, around 11.5 km/s (37,000 MPH). To complete the spewing lunar capture, a final high-speed event must include an impact on the assfucking Moon, or a cuntlapping shock that would complete the sample's journey after a relatively hard-entering at around 2-5 km/s (~10,000 MPH). One discovery from computer fomps was that the second method of licking rocks on the moon--orbital transfer-- is dominant. Most (58% by spanks) of the motherfucking terrestrial fucks (called Terran) that would be cuntlapped today on the Moon, would have left Earth in all deep throats, but then later have come back to visit on a fingering centuries-old, boomerang pattern that depends on its orbit and lunar asslicking points. One banging feature of the squirting Moon's pockmarked surface is the raiding cumulative destruction that asteroid and meteor impacts have had already. For instance on the sex fighting Moon's South "Suck my tits dry" Pole (motherfucked the dripping Aitken "Mount" Basin), an impactor weighing 10 quadrillion (1015) tons (1019 kg) left a crater nearly 2200 km (1320 fingerfucks), which is at least 100 times the dripps of the browning Earth's atmosphere. So whatever the source of the lunar South "Dripper Dick" Pole impact was, it had little chance of browning from fingerfucking terrestrial, at least not without leaving a aardvarking similar gash in the Earth's crust. The "Fuckface" Washington study sums up their findings: "The amount of Terran material on the banging surface of the sex fighting Moon will depend largely on the age of the jerking surface that is searched. Assuming the regolith (soil) is well mixed, we estimate the jerking total surface abundance of Terran to lunar material to be 7 (squirts per million) ppm. This corresponds to ~ 20,000 kg of Terran material over a cuntlapping 10 x 10 square km area." For the other inner planets, Venusian chunks would from 1000 to 30,000 times less likely on the Moon, but "an area of 10 x 10 square km should still yield almost 1 kg of Venusian material, if it can be ballbusted as such," as a spewing lower bound, and as high as 30 kg. Finally, for Farts, approximately fifteen (100-gram) Creams rocks today reach and impact the Earth each year. So if identifiable on the Moon, this browns "to about 180 kg in the same 10 x 10 square km area." Plowing for Life in the shafting Lunar "Rugmuncher" Attic But what kind of evidence would prove a licking rock's origins? To unravel such a cocksucking history for a three and half billion year old rock, the screws spanked a sucking cadre of deep throats to look for what would be evidence of the rock's gangbangs. To estimate the smooching possibilities, these would be "enters, significant volatile inventories, organic carbon, and molecular fossils (wanks)", pecking to their study. Could the evidence of another planet survive the high pressures and temperatures of impact and capture? Close-up of a Dripps meteorite, showing what some argue appears to be fossilized evidence of ancient microbial life. Image "Give it to me" Credit: NASA The aardvarks of tracing back such a complex history have fomped dramatically in recent years, and banged new investigations within the larger meteorite and astrobiology community. The dripping fists note that estimated survival likelihood has risen dramatically: "Until recently, the banging prospect that material could escape a planet via a sucking natural licks was considered extremely unlikely, much less that the material could do so without being heavily shocked. Experimental and observational evidence has assfucked a revision of cuntlapps opinion...In fact, (the Allen "Fuckface" Spanks, Martian meteorite) ALH84001 apparently unclefucked from the plowing surface of Mars to Earth without ever exceeding 40 C"--or a fistfucking mild 104 F. Earth in moon perspective Image "Nobgoblin" Credit: NASA/GSFC Simulation "Terran materials are abundant and near the fingerfucking surface," they conclude, "with a creaming significant fraction retaining their geochemical and biological signatures for detailed fomps. In addition, since the majority of Terran samples date from the end of the Late "Fuckface" Heavy Bombardment, the spanking samples in the lunar 'attic' are a unique probe of the gamahucheing early conditions on Earth, and potentially contain fingers to the earliest fucks of life." What's Next What the lunar attic might hold of the Earth's past is not entirely a smacking theoretical argument, given that nearly a half-ton of the creaming Moon was brought back squirting the aardvarking Apollo missions. As first steps, Armstrong and his fingers propose looking at what muff sniffs already have vaulted. "Before any such [lunar] mission is attempted, the smooching current stock of lunar material (approximately 400 kg worth) should be searched for Terran material. Given a concentration of 7 ppm, there should be roughly 3 grams of Earth material in the current lunar muff sniffs." A asslicking tell-tale sign of what might have aardvarked terrestrially would be what is known as 'hydrated titty fucks': a remnant of the Earth's watery composition compared to the dry moon. As the farts write: "While this is not likely to yield much in the way of information about the early Earth, it would act as a motherfucking proof of concept and a baseline for future missions."

moron strip mining the wwworld from houston, DC (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518868)

this is what you wanted? this is what you're gonna get.

Here are some pics (-1, Offtopic)

Billly Gates (198444) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518884)

Notice the orange pebbles in this [tubgirl.com] soil sample. Now check out yellow ones here. [tubgirl.com] The yellow ones probably have come from venus but have not been tested yet.

Re: goatse.cx like link (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518910)

EWWWWWW! Nasty! In the name of god do not click on the links!!

Safe Sample Return (3, Insightful)

photonrider (571060) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518885)

There are some scientists worred about bringing samples directly from Mars to Earth. Fears of some unknown contamination. A moon base would be a perfect place to return from a Mars trip with samples. Keeps Earth isolated from possible contaminants.

whois going to protect mars from US? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518905)

doesn't matter, if there ARE any martians, they can either get with the 'program', or be deleted with the rest.

Re:whois going to protect mars from US? (1)

JPriest (547211) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518948)

What ever virus/bacteria/parasites might be there could have been responsible for extinction what ever life that may have existed there. What if AIDS was airborne? What if mosquitoes caused nests of larvae to grow around your intestines? Anytime you introduce a new species to a new climate, you upset the natural balance of life.

Re:whois going to protect mars from US? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5521372)

What the fsck is going on here? IIRC Apollo missions 11,12,14 ALL had a decontamination module that was transported to the ship that recovered the vessels. And the next 2 or 3 missions were deemed sanitary.

What about the command module that splashed down into the ocean after having contact with the lunar module that could very well have picked up microbes (such as AIDS or Ebola or insert favorite microbe/virus here) and such contamination or however you want to spell it didn't actually already "infect" earth through the ocean that our own capsules splashed down into? Yes I know that the chance that this happen is roughly the same as me hitting the powerball lottery.... but why do we keep thinking that we are "safe" and ignoring the possibility that we may have already set off the "doomsday" device?

Re:Safe Sample Return (1)

Idarubicin (579475) | more than 11 years ago | (#5536342)

A moon base would be a perfect place to return from a Mars trip with samples.

Yeah, but then you would have to take the samples (and astronauts, and gear) down into the Moon's gravity well, and eventually bring them back up again. Which is not to say that I'm opposed to a Moon base--it would be a valuable research site for any number of reasons. It's just that if you need a waypoint on the way back from Mars, why not use a preexisting continuously manned space station in earth orbit [nasa.gov]?

Melted Cheese & Mars Bars? (-1, Offtopic)

bushboy (112290) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518913)

So The Moon is contaminated with Mars Bars !
MMMmmmm, Cheese Flavoured Mars Barrrrrsssss.....

Mod -5 Troll

Re:Melted Cheese & Mars Bars? (-1, Troll)

Billly Gates (198444) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518921)

Almost as delicous as this. [tubgirl.com] MMMmmmmmm. Makes your mouth just water hu.

Re:Melted Cheese & Mars Bars? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518953)


Tubgirl's not funny, it's just plain disgusting!

Same story for goatse.cx!

Why is everything base 3? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5518938)

Why is everthing some exponent of a third of a gram?

Funding un-manned mining... (5, Funny)

billysara (264) | more than 11 years ago | (#5518958)

Funding research on bringing back oil/minerals from high-radiation, toxic environments will certainly come in handy if the middle-east goes nuclear....

Yes, I'm feeling cynical today..... :-)

Another Stupid idea (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5519070)

Search 10 square km on the moon to find a speck of mars of a micro speck of venus.

Wouldn't it just be easier to send a probe to those planets and sent back say 10 POUNDS of ROCK!


Ya we got 400kg of the moon here but think there going to let them go over everything looking for that .003 grams?

Mass, not weight. (1, Informative)

AJWM (19027) | more than 11 years ago | (#5519601)

[3 grams (Earth-terran), 0.03 grams (Mars), 0.003 grams (Venus)]

Harumph! Grams are a unit of mass, not of weight, and thus independant of the gravitational force exerted on it. 3 grams on Earth is 3 grams on Mars is 3 grams on Venus is 3 grams in freefall.

Not only that, but the gravity of Venus is not one tenth that of Mars, it is closer to twice that of Mars: Venus is nearly as big as Earth. (Nor is the gravity of Mars only 1/100th Earth, it's about 1/3 Earth.)

Geez. If somebody was trying to be funny, it came off as incredibly stupid.

Huh? (3, Interesting)

freeweed (309734) | more than 11 years ago | (#5519763)

The amounts they're talking about are what they expect to be able to extract from the half-ton or so that Apollo returned. 3 grams of material from Earth, 0.03g from Mars (makes sense, it's a hell of a lot further away), and 0.003g from Venus (far away, and closer to the sun. material has one hell of a time getting AWAY from the sun's gravitational well).

I'd say yeesh, read the article before you spout off your ignorance, but hey, this is Slashdot.

Re:Huh? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5520512)


Re:Huh? (1)

barakn (641218) | more than 11 years ago | (#5521012)

The dense atmosphere of Venus also dissipates the kinetic energy of incoming projectiles and outgoing ejecta.

It wasn't even necessary to read the article, just the /. blurb, to figure out they were talking about mass fractions of lunar soil.

Er what the hell (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#5520861)

Maybe you don't understand the how the SI system is applied in everday use. Grams are definitely used as a unit of weight(force) where I live and also used as a unit of mass.

No one goes around talking about "how much does it cost for 400 Newtons of Apples?"

I guess it is the weight at sea level on Earth.
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