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RIAA CEO Hilary Rosen to Become CNBC Commentator

CowboyNeal posted more than 11 years ago | from the changing-of-the-guard dept.

Music 304

alen writes "According to a story by the New York Post the CEO of the RIAA is stepping down. She is going to be an anchor on CNBC. Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?"

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304 comments

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TACO TO BECOME GOATSEX COMMENTATOR! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249132)

wow, fp (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249404)

that was fp. Good job. --AC (wasting modpoints)

Jeezus (3, Funny)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249133)

It's like they are TRYING to piss me off.

don't count on it (5, Insightful)

the_2nd_coming (444906) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249139)

HR did not make the policy, she was just the mouth piece of the companies.

Re:don't count on it (5, Funny)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249297)

"HR did not make the policy, she was just the mouth piece of the companies. "

More like a sphincter.

Re:don't count on it (2, Interesting)

Blue Stone (582566) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249433)

"HR did not make the policy, she was just the mouth piece of the companies."

What if... *shudder*.... she was a moderating voice amongst the companies?

B5 quote... (4, Funny)

Rob Simpson (533360) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249298)

"But once you've been inside of one of those ships for a while, you're never... quite whole... again. But you do as you're told!"

Information on the Masons (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249363)

Prayer of Release for descendants of those involved in Masonry

I you or someone you love is a descendant of a Mason, I recommend that
you pray through the following prayer from your heart. It is best to
pray this aloud with a Christian witness.

father God, creator of heaven, I come to You in the name of Jesus Christ
Your son. I come as a sinner seeking forgiveness and cleansing from all
sins committed against You, and others made in Your image. I honor my
earthly father and mother and all of my ancestors, but I utterly turn
away from and renounce all their sins. I forgive my ancestors for the
effects of their sins on me and my children. I renounce all of my own
sins which have Masonry at their roots. I renounce and rebuke Satan and
all his works, and every spirited power or force of his affecting me or
my family.

I renounce all involvement in Free masonry or any other lodge or craft
by my ancestors. I renounce witchcraft, the principal sprit behind
Freemasonry, and I renounce Baphornet, the Sprit of Antichrist and the
curse of the Luciferian doctrine. I renounce the idolatry, blasphemy,
secrecy and deception of Masonry at every level. I specially renounce
the insecurity the idolatry, blasphemy, secrecy and deception of Masonry
at every level. I specifically renounce the insecurity, the love of
position and power, the love of money, advance or greed and the pride
which would have led my ancestors into Masonry. I renounce all the
fears which held hem into Masonry, especially the fears the death, fears
of men, and fears of trusting, Jesusâ(TM) Name. I renounce every position
held in the lodge by any of my ancestors, including Tyler, Master,
Worshipful master or any other. I renounce the entrapping of others
into Masonry, and observing the helpless of others during the rituals.
I renounce the denial of Jesus Christ and His redeeming work
accomplished on the Cross of Calvary.

1st Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses involved in the First or
Entered Apprentice degree, especially their effects on the throat and
tongue. I renounce the hoodwink, the blindfold, and its effects on
emotions and eyes, including all confusion, fear of the dark, fear of
the light, and fear of sudden noises. I renounce the secret work Boaz,
and all it means. I renounce the mixing and mingling of truth and
error. the blasphemy of this degree of Masonry. I renounce the noose
around the neck, the fear choking and also every spirit causing asthma,
hayfever, emphysema or anything other breathing difficulty. I renounce
the compass pointed against the breast, the fear of death by stabbing
pain, and the fear of heart attack from this degree. In Jesusâ(TM) name I
now pray for healing of ....(throat, vocal cords, nasal passages,
sinus, bronchial tubes etc.), for healing of the speech area and the
release of the Word of God to me and through me and my family.

2nd Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses involved in the second or
fellow degree of Freemasonry, especially the curses on the heart and
chest. I renounce the secret words JACHIN and SHIBBOLETH and all that
these mean. I cut off emotional hardness, apathy, indifference,
unbelief, and deep anger from me and my family. In Jesus name I pray for
the healing of the chest and lung area and also for the healing of my
emotions, and ask to be made sensitive to the Holy Spirit of God.

3rd Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses involved in the third of
Master Mason Degree, especially the secret words MAHA BONE, MEACHBINNA
and TUBAL CAIN, and all that it means. I renounce the spirit of the
death from the blows to the head enacted as ritual murder, the fear of
death, false martyrdom, fear of violent gang attack, assault, or rape,
and the helpless of this degree. I renounce the falling into the coffin
or stretcher involved in the ritual murder. I renounce the false
resurrection of this degree, because Jesus Christ is the resurrection
and the life. I also renounce the blasphemous kissing of the Bible on
a witchcraft oath. I cut off all spirits of death, witchcraft and
deception. In Jesusâ(TM) name I pray for the healing of....(stomach, gail,
bladder, womb, liver and any other organs of my body affected by
masonry) and I ask for a release of compassion and understanding.

Royal arch Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses involved in the Holy Royal
Arch Degree of Masonry, especially the oath regarding the removal of the
head from the body and the exposing of the brains to the hot sun. I
renounce the false secret name of God, JAHBULON, and the password, AMMI
RUHAMAH and all they mean. I renounce the false communion or Eucharist
taken in this degree, and all the mockery, skepticism and velief about
the redemptive work of Jesus Christ an the Cross o Calvary. I cut off
all these curses and their effects on me and my family in the name of
Jesus Christ, and I pray for the healing of the mind.

18th Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses involved in the eighteenth
degree of Masonry, the Knight of the Pelican and the Eagle and Sovereign
Prince Rose Croix of Heredom. I renounce and reject the pelican
witchcraft spirit of this degree, and the occultic influence of the
Rosicruicans and the Kabbala in the degree. I renounce the claim that
the death of Jesus Christ was a dire calamity and also the deliberate
mockery and twisting of the Christine Doctrine of the Atonement. I
renounce the blasphemy and rejection of the deity of Atonement. I
renounce the blasphemy and rejection of the deity of Jesus Christ, and
the secret word INRI and its burning. I renounce the mockery of the
communion taken in this degree, including the biscuit, salt and white
wine.

31st Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses involved in the 31st degree
masonry, the Grand Inspector Commander. I renounce all the gods and
goddesses of Egypt which are honored in this degree, including Anubis
with the Ramâ(TM)s head, Orsiris the Sun God, Isis the sister of Orsiris and
also the Moon goddess. I renounce the Soul of Cheres, the false symbol
of immortality, the chamber of the dead and the false teaching of
reincarnation.

32nd Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses involved in the 32nd degree
Masonry, the Sublime Prince of the Royal Secret. I renounce Masonryâ(TM)s
false Trinitarian deity AUM and its parts: Brahma the creator, Vishnu
the preserver and Shiva the destroyer. I renounce the deity of
AHURA-MAZDA, the claimed sprit or source of all light, and the worship
with fire, which is an abomination of God.

Knights Of Templar
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses and death wish of Judas, or
having the head cut off and the placed on the top of a church spire. I
renounce the unholy communion and especially of drinking from a human
skull.

33rd Degree
I renounce the oaths taken and the curses in the 33rd degree of Masonry,
the Grand Inspector General. I renounce the cable-tow around the neck.
I renounce the deathwish that the wine drunk from a human skull should
turn to poisoned skeleton whose cold arms are invited if the oath of
this degree is violated. I renounce the three infamous assassins of
their grand master, law, property and religion, and the greed and
witchcraft involved in the attempt to manipulate and control the rest of
mankind.

Re:Information on the Masons (-1, Flamebait)

ikkonoishi (674762) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249438)

...
I believe that this warrants a visit to http://www.insultmonger.com/

Thank you! We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view, you ridiculous little carnival freak. Dullard, do yourself and everyone else a favor: disconnect your computer from the Internet.

You read like a gimpzoid teenager splashing spit onto the monitor. Donâ(TM)t you ever have a point beyond giving your fingers some exercise by dancing them randomly over the keyboard? You wouldn't know Up from Down if you had three guesses. Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

I'm busy trying to imagine you with a personality. Maybe you'd be less boring once I got to know you, but I don't want to take that chance. I bet you thought it was just coincidence that your parents had the same surnames before they married? Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't afflicted with mental retardation; if your weren't so fat from all that cheap beer you spend your Welfare payments on that your belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine, or if you didn't have a face so ugly that Peeping Toms break into your house and close the blinds. Who am I kidding? You would.

In conclusion, thank you. We were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. Now get the hell out of here!

Re:don't count on it (4, Informative)

ccady (569355) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249431)

If Hilary Rosen did not make the policy, who did? Which particular people should we know about who are pulling the strings?

President Cary Sherman [riaa.com] ? The board of directors [riaa.com] ? Jack Valenti [mpaa.org] of the MPAA?

Re:don't count on it (4, Funny)

Pieroxy (222434) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249452)

change in the way record companies think

Compilation error: Bad syntax at line 1.
Words like "change" and "think" cannot be used in a sentence along with "record companies".

Re:don't count on it (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249460)

Yup, she's a mouthpiece alright! She likes giant, hairy, sweaty, cum-engorged horse cock in her mouth.

When she can get one in her ass, it's even better.

Don't quit now! (0)

hendridm (302246) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249141)

Now that our attention is focused on the other evil organization, it's the perfect time to perform all sorts of nasty deeds that might go unnoticed. At the very least, it might not make the front page. I mean, you can only fit so many articles on the front page, and 35% are about SCO.

Maybe she could club some baby seals quick before she's gone, and then report on their species' diminishing numbers at CNBC! She could even blame it on pirates and terrorists and get some shock value.

Re:Don't quit now! (1)

Jellybob (597204) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249399)

"Argh matey! Lets bury those seal skins... no point trying to sell them!"

attention mozilla users... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249145)

the article on nypost's website is not compatible with moz. anyone (preferably an i.e. luser) got the text?

Re:attention mozilla users... (5, Informative)

AresTheImpaler (570208) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249165)

June 19, 2003 -- Hilary Rosen, the outgoing head of the Recording Industry Association of America, has landed an on-air gig at CNBC, The Post has learned.

Rosen, who will officially step down from her powerful RIAA post at the end of the month, has inked a deal to be a commentator for CNBC, she recently told music industry executives in an e-mail, a copy of which was obtained by The Post.

Her gig will begin Aug. 1. According to the e-mail, she will discuss politics on the network's evening show, "Capitol Report," and give commentary on the media industry on the shows "Power Lunch" and "Squawk Box."

"They are looking for me to do the larger picture on some of the content convergence and media consolidation issues and know that I have a point of view on many issues as a longtime advocate," she wrote in the e-mail.

She added that she will assist the network in its coverage of Congress and the upcoming presidential election.

Rosen, who has been the chairwoman and CEO of the RIAA since 1998, announced in January her intention of stepping down.

Tim Arango

Re:attention mozilla users... (2, Insightful)

topham (32406) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249182)

So, it's a career based infomercial the RIAA arranged for her.

nice.

MOD THIS WHORE DOWN! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249395)

it's the only way they'll learn!

Re:attention mozilla users... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249166)

Troll. It works perfectly on Moz.

Alternate Link (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249168)

Re:Alternate Link (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249189)

WTF!

That topped goatse.

Re:attention mozilla users... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249435)

I am using Mozilla 1.3 for WinXP and the page loads fine.

What ver/OS are you using?

And in other news... (3, Funny)

DoofusOfDeath (636671) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249150)

CNBC will initiate a reverse class action suit against all of its viewers, for viewing its valuable television programs without paying.

Fat chance! (5, Interesting)

imadork (226897) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249153)

Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?

Fat chance, considering who wants to replace her! [wired.com]

Re:Fat chance! (1)

the_2nd_coming (444906) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249179)

she can't hold both offices though so it might be a good thing for Citizens to take her out of power and into the lobby.

what would be great is if the person that replaces her is anti-RIAA type laws :-)

Re:Fat chance! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249188)

Excuse me for being stupid, but why would Hilary Rosen joining CNBC have ANYTHING to do with "signaling a change in the way yadda yadda yadda"?

I mean... is this guy posting two totally different articles at once or something?!

Re:Fat chance! (2, Funny)

Hogwash McFly (678207) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249191)

Mary Bono's Raring to Run RIAA

That reminds me: I've got no U2 mp3s on my puter, better go get some off Kazaa.

Re:Fat chance! (3, Informative)

hiryuu (125210) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249273)

That reminds me: I've got no U2 mp3s on my puter, better go get some off Kazaa.

How old are you that you don't remember that Mary Bono [house.gov] is the widow of Sonny Bono [cnn.com] (of "Sonny and Cher" fame), and not the Bono you've just mentioned [ascap.com] ?

:P

Re:Fat chance! (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249203)

This has been beaten to death in the past couple of days, especially in regard to SCO and the GPL.

However, the duplicity of the Slashdot crowd in regards to the GPL and music copyright is pretty confusing.

The GPL is allowed to stand (despite for all intents and purposes it is an admission into the public domain of code contained under it) because of strong copyright laws. If you want to use the code, you MUST abide by the restrictions of the GPL license, despite how generous or onerous they may be.

Now when it comes to music and copyright holders try to assert their rights under copyright law, those same GPL proponents all of a sudden become staunch anti-copyright zealots.

Why should music be public domain and freely available if software (also easily copied and distributed) can be held down under a license?

I understand that Slashdot is a hydra when it comes to points of view, but the overwhelming theme of this site's comments are in support of the GPL and against the enforcement of copyright law. This simply doesn't add up.

Re:Fat chance! (1)

Gherald (682277) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249275)

We all want to have our cake and eat it to. Not to be cynical, but this is basically "human nature."

Adding up... (1)

hackwrench (573697) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249388)

Let me introduce you to the concept of the ends justifying the means.

Re:Fat chance! (2, Interesting)

binarybum (468664) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249368)

I'm not sure exactly how the RIAA works, but I imagine record companies have some say about this position, no?

People in powerful high-paying positions like that often don't step-down so much as they are asked to step down. Is it possible that the record companies are looking for someone who's even more of a total bitch than Rosen? Like Bono perhaps?

hrmm (1)

Cyno (85911) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249427)

wonder if she's related to Sunny Bono..

Uh oh. (5, Funny)

Masque (20587) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249158)

Guess this probably means an end to those late night CNBC BitTorrents. Sigh.

Hilary Rosen anagram = HORNY SAILER (5, Funny)

corebreech (469871) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249450)

This is important! The people must know!

(want to piss her off? mod this post insightful!)

On the other hand (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249159)

Perhaps this will encourage the way the major media reports about file sharing.

Actually, this is strategic. (2, Funny)

AMuse (121806) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249162)

She's reportedly been paid big money by the news organization to act on her strategy for preventing TIVO users from pirating their news feeds..... by making people stop watching!

No dearth of crazies to take the helm (3, Insightful)

Qzukk (229616) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249163)

As long as people like Senator Hatch are around, there will no doubt be plenty of psychos to take the helm and try to steer the RIAA against the winds of change.

Somehow, the crew of the ship just doesn't understand that its about to capsize. Or they're too afraid to break their contracts and mutiny.

Re:No dearth of crazies to take the helm (0)

dakryx (646923) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249253)

Anyone else notice how Bill Oreilly picked up on Orin Hatches comments? Finally mainstream is starting to catch on.

Re:No dearth of crazies to take the helm (2, Interesting)

retto (668183) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249334)

There was also a piece on 20/20 a few months or so that was pretty pro-file-sharing. John Stossel for it, Barbara Walters was against (Barb you ignorant slut!). There was also a newsweek or time article (I get both, and can't remember which it was in) about DRM. Even had a nice graphic of a pair of hands handcuffed in front a computer screen. That kind of press will reach a lot of people that would never have cared about the DMCA before, or figured it wouldn't apply to anything they do. Hopefully that will draw more people over the 'free-speech' side, as posting anti-RIAA comments on /. is like preaching to the choir.

of course (4, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249169)

Just like Cheney quit his CEO job to become VP of the USA and conquer up some oil for his buddies back at Haliburton so it is that Hillary Rosen will quit the RIAA to spread propoganda for her RIAA industry chums on the TV.

Re:of course (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249261)

Just like Cheney quit his CEO job to become VP of the USA and conquer up some oil for his buddies back at Haliburton so it is that Hillary Rosen will quit the RIAA to spread propoganda for her RIAA industry chums on the TV.

No one is "conquering" any oil. You are an ignorant ass.

What about Orrin Hatch (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249170)

The Pirate [wired.com] ?

Mouthpiece or policymaker? (5, Insightful)

Desult (592617) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249172)

On one hand, most of the pieces I've read on the RIAA/Rosen have either directly indicated, or been chimed in upon, that Rosen was just a mouthpiece for the big bad record labels, who don't want you to be able to copy your CDs. She's been more or less a scapegoat/forerunner for a lot of negative ideas about what you can and can't do with your licensed recordings.

On the other hand, this story is posted with the question "Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?"

This seems rather silly, also noting that Rosen is stepping down to become a news commentator, aka a talking head, aka a mouthpiece. I have very little inclination to believe that Rosen has had, or will have any large influence on RIAA policy. Am I wrong?

-Greg

Re:Mouthpiece or policymaker? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249308)

Especially as she had announced she was leaving last year, or early this year. Whichever.

Only AC because I forgot my slashdot password at work.

Re:Mouthpiece or policymaker? (2, Interesting)

silne (634843) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249341)

who don't want you to be able to copy your CDs


My CDs? Since when have they been my cds? I only pay money to purchase them. Has the US Govt suddenly decided that because somebody's paid money for something that it actually belongs to them??

Re:Mouthpiece or policymaker? (1)

macdaddy357 (582412) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249440)

I don't know if she will still be spewing the RIAA party lne at CNBC, but either way, Don't buy CDs, [dontbuycds.org] unless you buy them directly from an independent artist. The recording industry doesn't deserve our business.

Change?! (4, Insightful)

Dirtside (91468) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249175)

Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?
Not bloody likely. The record companies haven't changed their business model, and the odds of Rosen being replaced with someone who doesn't believe the exact same things she does (or, at least, is getting paid to believe them) are essentially nil.

Mental note... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249209)

Slashdot'ers and rethorical questions don't mix.

Oh great.... (0, Flamebait)

KoshClassic (325934) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249177)

What's next? Perhaps CNBC will hire David Duke to do commentary.

Re:Oh great.... (4, Funny)

bedouin (248624) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249217)

What's next? Perhaps CNBC will hire David Duke to do commentary.

Didn't Foxnews already do that?

I honestly doubt it (4, Interesting)

jesse.k (102314) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249186)

I really don't see how hilary rosen resigning is gonna signal any change in how the RIAA does business, if anything it might get worse. I can easily see her replacement being yet another lawyer headed shark from one of the big record labels.

If the record industry wanted to save itself, they'd drop the cost of CDs down to $8 or less and partner with someone like Apple to deliver a real legal digital music service. Then they might find a more sympathetic ear in regards to piracy.

She might change her opinion on digital media (4, Interesting)

Frac (27516) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249193)

I wouldn't be surprised if Hilary Rosen would become more open to digital media in general.

Afterall, she was simply the talking head for RIAA - when Hilary Rosen speaks out against P2P, it's not because Rosen hates P2P, but rather it's because the five record companies tell her to do so. I recall reading articles on Rosen quietly expressing frustration at times with the record companies' unwillingness to compromise or embrace new business models.

She obvious has a very strong domain of knowledge in the recording industry, and now that she's free from the shackles of being the public face of RIAA, I'm actually looking forward to hear her personal opinion on digital distribution.

Keep on Keeping on Hilary (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249195)

I hope she can bring to light the illegal activities that
are being done by the linux community. Linux hackers
are a threat, she can help to bring an end to them and their unholy OS.

Rough Edges... (1, Interesting)

XplosiveX (644740) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249197)

If Rosen has some rough edges, it's not surprising, given the difficult task of leading her industry through the perils of the Internet revolution. So far, her strategy has been to fight aggressively to control Internet distribution channels through new legislation, standards for copyright protection technology and aggressive litigation.

What's the differerence (5, Interesting)

wfrp01 (82831) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249201)

What's the difference between NBC, CNBC, and MSNBC? And gee, do you think there's any conflict of interest in having an IP lawyer not only work, but anchor a media organization?!

Someday naming your daughter Hillary will be as favorable as naming your son Adolph.

Re:What's the differerence (2, Funny)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249218)

Someday naming your daughter Hillary will be as favorable as naming your son Adolph.

For some people of a certain political persuasion that someday has already come.

Re:What's the differerence (2, Insightful)

chunkwhite86 (593696) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249285)

Someday naming your daughter Hillary will be as favorable as naming your son Adolph.

Amen. We've seen some real dumb shit Hillarys in the news over the past few years.

I think that "someday" is upon us.

Re:What's the differerence (1)

ArsonPerBuilding (319673) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249421)

Ah. The power of assumimg things. It has a great way of making people blubbering idiots. I can draw swastikas on anything, and people instantly think it is nazi because it is a swastika, they look no deeper than the adopted symbol of a rather dead facist/socialist party of germany. People look without context. I was at an event at my state's (oklahoma) captial building, and someone thought there were swastikas on the wall in the molding on the ceiling. They first reaction was nazism, I had to explain to them that was part of the alternating pattern. The power that assuming things has over people is too good, and turns them into idiots.

Re:What's the differerence (1)

kennykb (547805) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249448)

Hmm, CowboyNeal misread the article.

Ms. Rosen isn't going to be an "anchor," unless you use the term very loosely. She's going to be a regular commentator on three panel-discussion shows; not even the moderator of any of the three.

Lesson to be learned: Read the article, not just CowboyNeal's summary.

It's the anal sex, stupid! (-1, Troll)

The I Hate slashdot (682705) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249211)

Newsflash: The internet website, slashdot [slashdot.org] , has been ordered by the United States 5th District Court to cease being so god damn gay. In this landmark ruling, Judge Judy has layed the proverbial smackdown. The site has become so gay that its asshole has become the size of a small car. [goatse.cx] That is all. -The I Hate slashdot Troll

No it wont (2, Insightful)

chunkwhite86 (593696) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249212)

Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?

No, it will just signal a change (read: increase) in the amount of negative media attention that file swapping gets ;-)

Some CNBC consultant figured out... (-1, Troll)

Newer Guy (520108) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249214)

Some CNBC consultant figured out that their ratings among dyke lesbians needed improving. Hiring her makes perfect sense to reverse that trend. They might even dress her in leather and give her a whip...that way they'd not only get more dyke lesbian viewers, but as an added bonus their ratings of submissive men would go way up too! Besides, dressed like that she'd fit in with Washington politics perfectly!

Could happen!

Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way (0)

RLiegh (247921) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249216)

...record companies think about file sharing?

Um, Not likely.

Next question?

Or maybe.... (3, Interesting)

MortisUmbra (569191) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249219)

She just didn't have sharp enough teeth?

MAYBE, they will replace her with somebody ten time s worse? Considering her lack of accomplishments (i.e. all those evil filesharers are still walking free) I wouldn't be suprised.

Re:Or maybe.... (3, Funny)

heli0 (659560) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249403)

So Orrin Hatch was auditioning for the job when he said the RIAA should be able to "destroy" peoples computers?

She better be damn good looking (4, Funny)

rinkjustice (24156) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249223)

"They are looking for me to do the larger picture on some of the content convergence and media consolidation issues and know that I have a point of view on many issues as a longtime advocate," she wrote in the e-mail.

Yeah, and her opinions, as before, will be wrong, wrong, WRONG!

(Who was the liar who told Hilary the public wants to hear more of her rants anyway?)

Actually, she howls at the moon! (1)

Newer Guy (520108) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249249)

Does that explain to you how she looks?

Re:She better be damn good looking (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249272)

She's no super model, but not too bad.

http://images.google.com/images?q=Hilary+Rosen [google.com]

I think it's funny that a pic of Sean Fanning comes up on the front page.

Who cares what she looks like... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249332)

Chances are she'll be encrypted anyway - you'll just get snow on the screen and static through the speakers.

You'll be able to buy the broadcast afterwards for $10. Three stories will be mediocre and everyone will be talking about them, but the rest will be shit that you're not interested in.

Senator Bono (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249229)

Sonny Bono's wife, who is also a Senator, stated she would like this position.

Top 10 New Career Moves: (5, Funny)

Sophrosyne (630428) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249235)

10. Mud-wrestle lesbians in Japan.
9. Box Lesbians in Japan.
8. Become a "consultant".
7. Start Rosen.com, publish a super duper blog and live off ad revenue.
6. Join Kathy-Lee Gifford on her music tour.
5. Write a book!
4. Star in Playboy's "Women of the Internet" issue.
3. Go into rehab.
2. Get married to Ted Turner- make lotsa babies!
1. Get a job with those scumbags at CNBC....

Re:Top 10 New Career Moves: (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249350)

Star in Playboy's "Women of the Internet" issue.

Don't copy, don't copy my vagina!

My vagina is licensed for only one orgasm. In order to use my image to enhance your masturbation, you must buy a copy for each ejaculation. My image can not be used at circle jerks as it's a violation of copyright laws.

We can only hope... (1)

EpsCylonB (307640) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249237)

Will this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?

Lets Fvcking hope so.

Mary Bono wants the job (4, Interesting)

ryder (111) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249242)

And that's not a good thing.

I saw a bit about Mary Bono wanting the job a few days ago. Here's a link to the wired story [wired.com] This can't be a good thing considernig the 1998 copyright extension bill bares her late husbands name.

Yo yo yo yo open source ganstas (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249245)

Lets make 50 cent the official rapper of the /. movement

yo you say that you's a gansta
but you never popped none
i say you're a wanksta
you need to stop frontin'
you are a deal flip
nigga look at my big dick
you been hustlin' a long time
and you ain't got nothin'

yo yo yo

Is she the "temp"... (1)

adsl (595429) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249255)

..who was running the RIAA and sent out out all those legal letters.... I wondered when this person might surface;)

Anchor? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249262)

A little fat^H^H^H^H endomorphic [google.ca] to be an anchorwoman, don't you think?

Re:Anchor? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249288)

I think it's a little pathetic that you have to pretend like you deleted "fat" and replaced it with "endomorphic" in your post.

Does this mean (1)

tarquin_fim_bim (649994) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249266)

I'll have to get wide screen after all?

Re:Does this mean (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249423)

No, don't bother. As soon as you video anything off CNBC, Orrin Hatch will blow up your TV.

My submissions was better (1, Funny)

drix (4602) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249274)

Grousing about rejected submissions is, I know, verboten. But seriously, I miss the old /. days when the site had no lawyers and lots of balls. The editors these days seem to have a stuck "Boring" key or something, A better title (e.g. mine) would have been:

CNBC rewards Rosen's failure, incompetence by making her rich

Now that's a title that says something. I had some witty line the body about the Peter Principle. It was all good.

Pussies. :)

Re:My submissions was better (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249311)

Go east [fark.com] , young man.

Yea, she volunteered to be RIAA president (1, Flamebait)

dh003i (203189) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249293)

because she disagreed with the RIAA's nazi-positions on music, right?

Fact is, if Rosen didn't agree with those positions, she wouldn't have been doing that job.

ATTENTION all FAGGOTS (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249303)

Please mod this message down if you are a homosexual faggot.

that is all.

Fair and unbiased (1)

macemoneta (154740) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249315)

I'm sure her reporting as a news anchor will be fair and unbiased.

I did NOT have a sarcasm tag on that last statement. It was all in your head.

Too bad ... (2, Insightful)

emkman (467368) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249327)

Too bad she didn't take a position at Fox News. Then we wouldn't have to accuse her of being a biased media personality, it would be implied.

in the words of yoda (about the sith) (1)

skydude_20 (307538) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249345)

CNBC. Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?"

always two there are, no more, no less, a master, and a apprentice.

only time will tell which she was/is...

Holy shit dude (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249362)

Put down the light saber TV remote and go outside. Have an ice cream cone and meet a girl.

... n... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249355)

. n . n .

Can't believe nobody's posted this yet... (1)

ronwolf (141966) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249385)

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.
Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

Re:Can't believe nobody's posted this yet... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249453)

That's because it should be:

Ding Dong! The Witch has moved.*
Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch has moved.

* Please note that witch is still wicked and still alive, and has merely relocated.

Hillary (1)

stendec (582696) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249391)

Well, it looks like we've found a candidate for the first thing to be slung-shot into orbit [slashdot.org] .

CNBC + RIAA = ? (1)

handy_vandal (606174) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249393)

Maybe this is going to signal a change in the way record companies think about file sharing?

It probably signals that CNBC is going to support RIAA in a big way.

Oh, god... (5, Funny)

SamMichaels (213605) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249394)

Now we get to hear this idiot wind bag on TV even more? On a regular basis?

$5 says it was a settlement. The RIAA caught CNBC people sharing music at work and rather than sue the pants off them, they offered her a show.

New CEO of RIAA (1)

qbproger (467459) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249398)

It is Darl McBride.

In other news, RIAA slogan has been changed to 'We're going to SUE YOU!' pfft... file sharing hippies

Maybe this is like Heathers... (2, Funny)

curtlewis (662976) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249409)

Hilary Rosen leaving RIAA to become CNBC anchor

maybe that means...

Hilliary Clinton leaving Senate to head up RIAA.

and that would leave...

Hilary Swank quits her acting career to become NY Senator!

No, just a change in the way the news reports it (1, Funny)

Hecatonchires (231908) | more than 11 years ago | (#6249436)

Anchors do influence how people think of the news presented. When she frowns as she talks about people 'stealing' songs, smiles when she reports their arrest, and flirts with her co-anchor when she mentions a new DRM product, people will get the idea that d/ling is bad, arresting p2p'ers is good, and DRM is sexy.

Mmmmmm. Cactus datashield. You're sooooo hot.

Hilary as anchor (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#6249449)

Although Rosen certainly weighs enough to be an anchor, isn't she a bit too bouyant to sink to the bottom of the bay?


What? It's not that kind of anchor?


Never mind...

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