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Recall of Segway Announced by CPSC

michael posted more than 10 years ago | from the safety-first dept.

United States 569

mshiltonj writes "The Consumer Product Safety Commission has announced a voluntary recall of the Segway human transporter. The hazard is that under certain operating conditions, particularly when the batteries are near the end of charge, some Segway HTs may not deliver enough power, allowing the rider to fall. This can happen if the rider speeds up abruptly, encounters an obstacle, or continues to ride after receiving a low-battery alert."

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569 comments

That explains the Shrub... (5, Funny)

gokubi (413425) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065563)

some Segway HTs may not deliver enough power, allowing the rider to fall. This can happen if the rider speeds up abruptly, encounters an obstacle, or continues to ride after receiving a low-battery alert.

or if the rider is fresh from a tennis match with Poppy, rushing to an appointment to bomb some unsuspecting nation back to the stone age [bbc.co.uk] .

Re:That explains the Shrub... (4, Funny)

Gibble (514795) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065599)

But this is a guy who nearly died from a pretzel...so you can hardly blame the segway if he fell.

Re:That explains the Shrub... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065658)

He would have been fine if the Segway was gas-powered. It's the electric powertrain that gives him problems.

Re:That explains the Shrub... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065726)

"The machine's creator, Dean Kamen, wants to see US Special Forces troops eventually ride Segways into battle."

That would only toughen their image, I'm sure.

Re:That explains the Shrub... (4, Funny)

El (94934) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065746)

I think the theory is that terrorists will be too convulsed with laughter to bother with shooting at them...

If this isn't first post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065567)

I'll rip my tits off and mail them to your mom.

As always, my tits will be ripped off.

Their own dumbass fault (4, Insightful)

Gibble (514795) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065569)

If you continue to ride after the low battery alert, it's your own dumbass fault if you get hurt.

It's like saying it's Fords fault your engine died because you didn't check your oil.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (3, Insightful)

stratjakt (596332) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065593)

This can happen if the rider speeds up abruptly, encounters an obstacle, or continues to ride after receiving a low-battery alert.

Sounds like Segways just dont work.

Still, if you were stupid enough to plunk down that much coin on a scooter, you deserve what you get.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (0)

bazmonkey (555276) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065616)

If my engine dying caused me bodily harm, I should hope they recall them too. I'd be dead by now; I never change my oil enough. ::Points to self:: This dipstick trying to work ::points to oil dipstick:: that dipstick isn't a matter of technical skill, it's a downright battle of friggin' wits.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (1)

connsmythe96 (576445) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065645)

If you don't ever put more gas in your car, then the engine WILL die. And there's a reasonable chance that you will hit be hit by another car when your car stops moving. That's the same thing.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065647)

If reading a dipstick is a "battle of friggin' wits" you may want to start wearing a helmet when you walk.

I'm just suggesting this for your own safety.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065660)

I'll bet there are a lot of people without much upper-body strength who would not be able to steer or stop their car with the engine off. Power steering and brakes only work if the engine is running.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (1)

stratjakt (596332) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065695)

Power steering/power breaks work so long as your battery has a charge (key in "on" position).

Re:Their own dumbass fault (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065739)

Nope, power steering and brakes (like the air conditioner) work off of hydrolic pumps getting power from the engine. No electricity involved. If the engine isn't turning, they aren't working.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (1)

GigsVT (208848) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065752)

No, you're wrong.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065668)

I've blown pistons doing 80 mph on the freeway, and the car doesnt flip over.

It's more like saying it's Fords fault your engine caught fire because you didn't check your oil.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (0)

happyfrogcow (708359) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065670)

No, it's like saying it's Fords fault if when the oil is low, that I get thrown out of the car and onto the road. Which Ford should be liable for.

If the oil is low, the engine might die, but no damage should be inflicted on my body. (short of an engine fire engulfing the car, which also should be avoided by Ford somehow)

Or better yet "You fuel tank is low, ejection seat activated. Please buckle your seat belt. I'm sorry, you did not purchase the ejector seat parachute. Please enjoy your ride."

Re:Their own dumbass fault (1)

hackstraw (262471) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065681)

I ususally agree with the stupid user argument (I'm a UNIX sysadmin :), but in both cases you mention the driver is not thrown from the vehicle. Also, if you were going down the street, you were half way to your destination, and you got the low battery light, would you just hop off or keep going until it died? I know what I would do.

Re:Their own dumbass fault (4, Insightful)

stratjakt (596332) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065748)

These are being marketed as tools for the elderly and others, as an untippable, safe alternative to a wheelchair.

It isnt so much that they can tip over, but the fact that they're not supposed to.

Oh well... (5, Funny)

evel aka matt (123728) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065572)

It looks like there's going to be 3 very dissapointed people out there.

Falling Down (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065574)

Segway HTs may not deliver enough power, allowing the rider to fall.

Resulting in something like this [cbsnews.com]

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! (1)

hpulley (587866) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065577)

Seriously, though, this is a problem with most vehicles when they run out of fuel/charge. No battery guage on a Segway, I assume or just user error?

Re:Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! (2, Funny)

revividus (643168) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065630)

Segway Error 404:
Battery Not Found.

Re:Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! (1)

hpulley (587866) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065636)

I mean, how far can you go after you get an 'alert'? Can you drive it home to recharge it or do you have to beg for an electrical outlet so you don't have to drag your heavy, expensive, silly toy home?

Re:Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! (1)

Cranx (456394) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065698)

Are you saying that if my car battery runs out of juice, I can expect to be picking up my teeth out from between the subway grating?

size? (2, Funny)

Lxy (80823) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065578)

Does this have anything to do with the size of the rider? If you continually fall off your Segway, maybe it's just a sign to GET OFF AND WALK for awhile.

Re:size? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065690)

I thought size didn't matter? Sorry it had to be said....

I HAVE A GREASED UP YODA DOLL SHOVED UP MY ASS!!! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065582)

Go SCO/Linux!

Re:I HAVE A GREASED UP YODA DOLL SHOVED UP MY ASS! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065657)

That's SCO/GNU/Linux to you, sunshine!

Re:I HAVE A GREASED UP YODA DOLL SHOVED UP MY ASS! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065745)

How old are you? Lemme guess, 3? Go back to watching TeleTubbies and stop playing on daddy's computer.

Thank goodness (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065583)

George Bush is finally vindicated. Turns out the batteries were dying.

Slashdot Fails It! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065584)

FARK.com had this story up an hour ago! I for one welcome our Segway-recalling overlords.

Q/A (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065586)

Q: What is "IT"?
A: Potentially dangerous

$30M! (5, Informative)

JohnGrahamCumming (684871) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065587)

Perhaps the most interesting thing in this recall is that it provides information
about the total number of Segway's out there: 6,000. Given that Amazon [amazon.com]
sells them about $5,000 that means that there are $30M of Segways out there.
Of course many were probably sold below that price and Segway LLC will be sharing
that with the retailer, but still not bad for scooter.

Second, interesting thing is that the problem is fixed by a *software upgrade*
and not something physical.

John.

Re:$30M! (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065664)

I think most were sold for fleet use at a volume discount.

Re:$30M! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065711)

there are $30M of Segways out there . . . not bad for scooter.

I'm sure they spent far more designing it. I can't guess how much each one costs to build, but so far it's a huge money looser.

Re:$30M! (1)

ispel (266661) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065728)

Second, interesting thing is that the problem is fixed by a *software upgrade*
and not something physical.


I imagine that the "software upgrade" turns off the device earlier in a low-power situation.

Re:$30M! (1)

nocomment (239368) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065733)

Well duh, they always have to play for the lowest common denominator[1]. So what they will do is make it so that you can't ride it after the batteries get too low.

[1]see: ID 10T

Encounters an obstacle? (0)

Purosesuchi-Zu (695676) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065588)

I didn't know people used the segway to go though military training courses.

Sucks (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065591)

sucks

fuck you nerds (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065597)

get some exercise. you get what you deserve, you fat losers.

Re:fuck you nerds (1)

sgtpudding (603461) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065751)

Dean Kamen, is that you? You ol' rascall!

[OT] Please help... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065598)

I am a fisherman, and I fish out in the North Sea, near oil-rigs. I mainly fish for crabs but generally sell anything I catch. On my small boat is a laptop with Linux installed, which is running open source software for controlling the electronical fishing rods, which hauntingly swing and sway above the cold blue surface of the sea.

While I find being able to administer my fiashing rods from the powerful BASH shell both efficient, safe and empowering, this software has a bug which causes a huge 20 farad capacitor in the rod to discharge into the ocean at random intervals. The voltage induced is so large that it causes various potentially hazardous metals to be come electroplated to the hull of my ship. Often by the time I reach harbour my ship is so laden with electrolysed metal that it is barely bouyant, and occasionally I am not allowed entry.

This is killing my buisnes. While I love the ideals of Linux, the inherent instability is not tolerable. So I am asking, are there any quality fishing-rod control programs available for Windows or Apple operating systems?

Thanks in advance... sorry for the OT-ness...

Re:[OT] Please help... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065727)

Now THAT is a troll!

Death by Segway (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065600)

Beats old age I suppose.

That reminds me... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065604)

As the great philosopher xterm [bash.org] once wrote,

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

Re:That reminds me... (2, Funny)

Snard (61584) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065740)

Or as Larry Niven would say, "Think of it as evolution in action."

recall just for batteries?? (0, Troll)

overbyj (696078) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065605)

Honestly, shouldn't they recall this thing not because of the battery problems but because IT IS THE DUMBEST INVENTION THUS FAR IN THE 21st CENTURY?

I bet all 6 people who bought this must be like those who buy those commemerative plates. It sounds cool but then they get it in the mail and they are like "Oh my god, it is just a plate with a very stupid picture on it".

Re:recall just for batteries?? (4, Insightful)

El (94934) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065700)

You misunderstand the market for this device. It is basically a wheelchair targeted at old people that can't walk very well, but still would rather be in a standing position (because, let's face it, most of the world is set up for people of average height). Young people are not going to buy them because they are too slow and too expensive. However, the same people that consider riding a golf cart around a golf course to be good exercise just might buy or rent them...

frist spot (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065607)

frost spit

Imagery (5, Funny)

Improv (2467) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065608)

I love the imagery involved in this..
*VROOM* *VROOM* *put* *put* *put* *creeeeek* *thump* OW!

Heh

Situation under controlled (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065609)

All 5 owners have been contacted

All these rich people falling on their faces (4, Funny)

digitalgimpus (468277) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065610)

Damn. Nobody ever recalled a poor boy's bicycle because it fall sideways when the riders energy runs out.

Well, gee, no kidding. (0, Redundant)

casuist99 (263701) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065611)

This seems obvious if you know just a little bit about how the Segway works. I know it's this "hip" invention, but if you're dumb enough to be riding it around and not notice that the battery is really low, you might just BREAK a hip.
That said, despite being this yuppie-esque way to get around, the concept is pretty neat. I just know I wouldn't want to fall off this thing. Good for the CPSC, good for the consumer. Interesting story.

Ohhh.... (0)

Mipsalawishus (674206) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065613)

"The Consumer Product Safety Commission has announced a voluntary recall of the Segway human transporter..."
For a moment, I thought they were referring to a human teleporter...

Re:Ohhh.... (1)

BandwidthHog (257320) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065716)

I shudder to think what would happen if a teleporter lost power halfway through the journey.

You might end up the ultimate personification of those endless "In Soviet Russia..." inversionary scenarios.

Re:Ohhh.... (1)

orthogonal (588627) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065729)

For a moment, I thought they were referring to a human teleporter..

Yeah, well, it seems flies can get into the transporter and .... [imdb.com]

Scooters... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065614)

...suck! Take that scooters!

Dubya (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065618)

now if they would recall pretzels, George W will be OK...

HAHAHAHHAHAHA (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065619)

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, they looked like idiots riding on it, and when they fall

Where's Nader? (1)

pegr__ (144172) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065620)

Unsafe at any speed!

Old Joke (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065621)

hehehe, reminds me of an old joke:

What do michael and segways have in commone?

Nothing, but michael is a flaming faggot!

Doomed to fail blah blah blah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065622)

This just proves that the Segway is doomed to fail! It wasn't all that! It sucks! I told you so! Blah blah blah!

I'm new to slashdot. Did i get it right?

that would only happen to a fucktard (-1, Troll)

x1l (258922) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065623)

gw bush

Well... (0, Offtopic)

oddaddresstrap (702574) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065624)

Duh.

I LIKES IT P0))(P@! (-1)

cmdr_shithead (527909) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065626)

goatseas you RUSSAIN STOVE!

does anyone even have one? (0, Redundant)

sgtpudding (603461) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065627)

they can probably just call the three people who bought one and warn them personally.

Ha ha ha (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065629)

Sounds like someone didn't include enough tolerance in the design constraints!

Oh Segway, you seemed so promising.

hHahah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065633)

HAHAHAHHAhahahahhaHAHAHA that will teach those pussy segway riders who were laughing at me while I had to walk over the brooklyn bridge during the blackout. I hope they fall flat on their faces! muhahaha!

segway (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065635)

Something about defying the laws of nature, should

If your lazy enough to buy a Segway.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065637)

Your probably to lazy to get off your ass to use it.

And your definenitely to lazy to send it back for a recall.

George W (1, Redundant)

bombadillo (706765) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065639)

Maybe this is what caused ole "W" to fall off his segway. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2989000. stm Was it his batteries or his ineptness? Something tells me it wasn't the batteries....

Hmm, same thing with shoes. (0, Redundant)

3Suns (250606) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065640)

Under certain operating conditions, if you lean over more than a few degrees while wearing your Reebok Human Transporters, the balancing mechanism may fail, causing the rider to fall. The CPSC has issued a voluntary recall of all Reebok Human Transporter products.

No Duh, the device is unstable (5, Informative)

nweaver (113078) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065641)

The Solution in Search of a Problem that is the Segway is inherantly unstable, and has to burn power just to stand still (balancing at an unstable equilibrium point).

That when the power starts to drain, the device becomes unstable (as the motors no longer have enough power to keep it upright after a mild upset) is hardly suprising, and indicitive of the fundimentally stupid design (but fantastic engineering) that is the segway.

this just in... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065648)

your car will stop running when it runs out
of gas. DUH!

if the segway is low on power charge it.
whats so hard about that?

the face kid. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065650)

speed up abruptly = lean forward. rider fall = FLAT ON HIS FACE.

your step (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065651)

watch your step.. oh yeah, i always wanted fp.

In other news: (5, Funny)

Dark Lord Seth (584963) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065653)

This can happen if the rider speeds up abruptly, encounters an obstacle, or continues to ride after receiving a low-battery alert.

Toyota recalled all cars manafactured since the start of the company. Under certain circumstances, when speeding up, ignoring a warning about a cliff and not braking, the car might fall down from a great heigth and kill the occupants. According to Hiyasuka Miamoto, official Toyota spokesperson, the recall will be effective immediately and no new cars will be produced "untill people stop being so fucking stupid!".

Moral of the story; warnings are called warnings for a reason.

Too late... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065655)

I thought segway is for people who already fell onto their heads.

Well, duh (-1, Offtopic)

Directrix1 (157787) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065656)

Its kind of a Microsoft tactic. Cripple the user so they'll be forced to upgrade. [msnbc.com]

PC + WiFi + home entertainment = SOON? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065659)

CNN is running an article [cnn.com] claiming that some of the tech companies are finally catching on to other ueses for wifi. They've finally realized the market desire to connect stereos, televisions and PCs into home entertainment network. The current crop of wifi-enabled devices -- a Gatway DVD player that can stream video and audio from PC to your entertainment system and Sony's flat-screen TV that uses wifi to beam satellite or cable feeds to other TVs -- fall short by not allowing the user access to web browsing or lack of interoperability with other wifi devices in general. Intel and Texas Instruments are also looking at making wifi-enabled cell phones.

One step further? (1)

gregarican (694358) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065662)

I wonder how much longer all of those Rascals and Lark old-people scooters will be around before getting recalled. As shown on "Jackass," if an old person is going down the courthouse steps or down a hilly sidewalk on one and the batteries are low they are begging for a hip replacement.

Let'em walk! (2, Interesting)

mr_resident (222932) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065665)

As much as I love seeing rich people fall on their faces, I hate seeing technology fail because of poor testing.

Why didn't this come up before now? Because ravenous marketing monsters couldn't wait to start selling "THE NEXT BIG THING".

Even if they were reasonably priced, I can't see what they're really good for anyway. They're too fast for sidewalks, too slow for streets and let the world know you've got more money than sense!

add 2 more wheels (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065677)

i think if they just add a couple more wheels it will be stable even if the batteries get low ;)

For that matter it's a miracle (1)

spatley (191233) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065679)

That this is the first recall of the Segway. For a product of this complexity, there are bound to be some bugs showing up, and this one seems pretty minor.

So let me get this straight... (2, Insightful)

Mysticalfruit (533341) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065680)

So, I'm riding along on my self powered segway that battery powered gyros to keep itself upright and I get a low battery warning and I ignore it. Then I get all upset when the thing pitches me off like a ragdoll to test the local dirt.

Hmm, I think that S in CPSC should be for Stupidity...

Note to stupid people... Firstly, if you've got too much money, I can help you with this problem ;-)
Secondly, I highly recommend you never get fitted with a pace maker... as you expire your dying words will be something like "Damn, I guess the doctor wasn't lying, the battery really is only good for 5 years..."

Segway updating (1)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065682)

Okay, so hopefully the next generation of Segways will have a little USB port so you can do your own firmware updating.

Obviously... (1)

TopShelf (92521) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065684)

They need to put airbags on those things - someone could get hurt!

Boeing Recall (0)

Sir Pallas (696783) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065686)

In related news, Boeing is recalling it's 747 and later series aircraft because of a condition they may experience after the low-fuel warning has gone off. If operation continues, the aircraft may have a harder time handeling turbulance, eventually crashing to earth. Also involved in this recall are all pre-747 aircraft.

They've only sold 6000 of the things? (1)

Solandri (704621) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065693)

If they've only sold 6000, why does it seem everything the company does is announced to half a billion people via the national and world news outlets?

Notice the numbers? (1)

Lizard_King (149713) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065694)

Units: Approximately 6,000

That's pretty sad given the original estimates from a few years ago.

Sad News -- Segway Scooter dead at 2 (1)

orthogonal (588627) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065697)

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - revolutionary personal transportation system/overpriced, underpowered gimmick the Segway Human Transporter was found dead at the Consumer Product Safety Commission this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss it - even if you didn't buy it or buy into the hype about it, there's no denying^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H it's easy to deny its contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.

same with motorcycles (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065705)

when my Harley runs out of gas i allways fall over...

Society gets dumber by the minute (4, Funny)

Daimaou (97573) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065713)

In other news, bicycles around the world have been voluntarily recalled. It seems that if the rider stops moving their feet, the bike could potentially tip over. A minor flaying of the skin has also been reported to occur during such accidents.

Why does this require a recall? (1)

Gumber (17306) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065718)

For something as expensive and computer dependant as the segway, they should have an easy an inexpensive way to distribute customer-installable "patches"

Don 't blame the users.... (5, Funny)

EnlightenmentFan (617608) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065723)

Pullleez---I'm speeding along the sidewalk, talking on my cellphone, checking my Palm Pilot, and now you expect me to keep an eye on the power indicator too?

Oops, damn, there goes another pedestrian....

Training wheels? (2, Interesting)

gothicpoet (694573) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065735)

Maybe they should put training wheels on all of them while they are in recall?

You know, that started as a joke in my head, but you do have to wonder why they didn't put a small third wheel on there somewhere always touching the ground but on a hing so that it would only actually bear weight if the thing tipped too far.

Then again, I suppose the market droids couldn't have pushed it so hard as the next big thing if it didn't just have two wheels... Hard to look like an adult when you're basically whizzing around on a tricycle.

All floors recalled (2, Funny)

m0smithslash (641068) | more than 10 years ago | (#7065743)

It has been determined that people standing, walking and running on floors have fallen for unexplained reasons. Until these reasons can be determined, all floors in the US are being recalled. It is recommended that you do not walk, run or stand on any floor until the cause of this public health hazard can be determined and all floors repaired. Using a floor in this way can cause injury or death.

Caution is advised whenever you must make contact with any floor. The recomended uses of a floor now include laying and sitting. The safety of crawling on a floor is being studied at this time.

In other news the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division [dhmo.org] is recommending that the government Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide [circus.com] .

SP (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065753)

From what I saw on south park, they may also cause intense pain in the anal region if used with gusto. Glad I have not bought one yet, oh yeah wait...I am unemployed and broke. Thanks IT!

When will people learn? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7065754)

In other news the first Segway accident to claim more than 1000 lives occured early this morning just outside of atlanta.
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