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Heinlein Prize Established for Space Achievements

michael posted about 11 years ago | from the stranger-in-strange-land dept.

Sci-Fi 26

StJefferson writes "The Heinleins' estate has just announced the establishment of a US$500,000 prize to be awarded as often as annually for individual accomplishment in commercial space activities. What a terrific application of the legacy - both financial and intellectual - of the Dean of Science Fiction!"

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Last Post!! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7114638)

oh, oops...

Re:Last Post!! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7114964)

Anonymous Coward, the time has come.

I've been wanting to say this for a long time, but have held back. However, this time you have gone to damned far.

You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. A fetid pus-oozing festering boil on the anus of humanity. If the universe were nothing but K-Y jelly, you would be a grain of sand in it.

You are a fiend and a sniveling, spineless coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum. And I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime twist.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in regret for what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class attempt at simulating one.

You snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. Your hand refuses autoerotism. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are the epitome of conceit; the flea, floating down a river with an erection, screaming to those that care, "Open up the damn drawbridge".

And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

If the sum total of all the knowledge, experience and wisdom that you have acquired in your stay thus far on earth were rolled into one great big ball and shoved up a gnat's asshole, there would be enough room left over for it to roll around like a BB in a boxcar.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid rendered so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid; some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on, this is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of your drivel.

Maybe later in life, after you have learned to think, read, write, spell, count and wipe your ass you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was the case I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right" -- sort of like parking in a handicapped space.

You, sir, have shown yourself to be an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebro, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ityphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephaloous, yirning zoophyte.

IOW,you are you an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy-buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunchbacked, thicklipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellent, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life.

In short, if I traded you for shit, I would lose the container I brought you in.

May you be cornholed nightly by mushroom-colored dwarves.

Otherwise, have a good day.

Fuck that. I hope you have the worst day of your life.

Gargle my balls you cowardly little shit.

Re:Last Post!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7116994)

I'm hoping you're somewhere out of reach of sharp and pointy objects.

The Man Who Sold The Moon (4, Insightful)

kalidasa (577403) | about 11 years ago | (#7115040)

Now we can see that it was intended more as a blueprint than a short story.

Friday (1)

TrippyZ (526759) | about 11 years ago | (#7115128)

My favourite Heinlein novel is Friday.

It features a female lead character who is genetically enhanced for the role of a specialist, and secret, courier.

There is a tortue scene in the first which I found quite disturbing, mainly because Friday, the female lead, isn't that bothered about being tortured, she is more annoyed that the torturer is rude!

Anyway, get it, and read it. Then pass it on.

Pat Benetar (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7115665)

I read "Friday". It had Pat Benetar on the cover.

Re:Friday (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7116455)

Yeah. I loved "Friday" too. I mean, what other sci-fi novel so perfectly succeeds at making gratuitous sex dull and trite?

Re:Friday (1)

cryptochrome (303529) | about 11 years ago | (#7117594)

Dean of SF? How about the Dirty Old Man of SF... Heinlein women are definitely his most bizzare creation.

Well, it's not like there aren't a ton of others in the same fantasy women vein (Varley, Niven, etc...).

Sorry...Asimov was the "Dirty Old Man" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7121440)

Well...Heinlein women are definitely bizarre.

But Asimov, despite the PG rating on the majority of his work, has the Dirty Old Man title in the bag. There's simply no contest...ask any of the female receptionists at any of the book publishers in New York from the 1970's to the 1980's. They'll tell you.

Besides...he (literally) wrote the book on it!

Look up "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man".

RAH !! (2, Interesting)

crmartin (98227) | about 11 years ago | (#7115176)

Hooray for the Heinleins. I guess I wondered what would happen when Ginny died; I can't think of any more suitable memorial.

Perfect 1st Entries... (4, Funny)

Strange Ranger (454494) | about 11 years ago | (#7115192)

Commercial Programs for encouraging space travel:

Free Group Marriage licences for the first one thousand applicants to be married in space.

A Free Lunch for the 1st person to coin a new term and get others to grok it in space.

For encouraging colonization:

Free libertarian handbook for the 1st person to sleep over-night on the surface of the moon.

Free libertarian handbooks AND Free Lunches for the first 3 or more people to sleep over-night on the moon together.

And of course, a Clothing Optional Space Station should also win.

(-"How's it hangin?

- "Well, sort of up and to the side right now." )

We have a winner! (2, Interesting)

Iron Sun (227218) | about 11 years ago | (#7116908)

Free libertarian handbook for the 1st person to sleep over-night on the surface of the moon.

That would be Al Bean and Pete Conrad during Apollo 12. They spent 2 days on the surface and slept a bit between moonwalks. Conrad dies in a motorcycle accident a while ago, but Bean is still around.

Or did you mean... (2, Funny)

Iron Sun (227218) | about 11 years ago | (#7116948)

Sleep over a lunar night? That's not sleeping, that's hibernating.

Re:Or did you mean... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7117560)

I was really thinking more along the lines of 8 hours, horizontal, with coffee and eggs in the "morning".

Radically Pragmatic (3, Interesting)

borroff (267566) | about 11 years ago | (#7115511)

In typical Heinlein fashion, they seem to have come up with an outside-the-box solution that actually has the potential to acheive their goals. It's not clear whether this was all Ginny's idea, or whether R.A.H. had a hand, but either way, it's clearly a great idea.

Now if there were grants for students....

Welcome ! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 11 years ago | (#7115692)

I, for one welcome our new Martian flat-cat overlords.

Let's hope they don't follow the AFI's lead ... (1)

dougmc (70836) | about 11 years ago | (#7116043)

Let's hope that the Heinlen award doesn't follow the American Film Institute's (AFI) lead ... they awarded [] the first `Charlton Heston Award' to Charlton Heston himself.

Sometimes truth IS stranger than fiction :)

What next, the Bill Pullman award? (1)

AtariAmarok (451306) | about 11 years ago | (#7116441)

"This year, we award the Bill Pullman award to Bill Pullman, for acting and off-screen behavior that best charactarizes what it means to be Bill Pullman."

Thank you for your support (4, Insightful)

tm2b (42473) | about 11 years ago | (#7117842)

On a personal level, the really cool thing about this is that it turns every past purchase of a Heinlein book into monetary support of future space industry.

Yay! I've been paying to support the commercialization of space since I was 8 years old!

(Too bad Bill Gates doesn't care enough about space exploration. He really could be the man who sold the moon.)

Re:Thank you for your support (2, Interesting)

jeboyer (24453) | about 11 years ago | (#7119353)

Well, at least some of the Microsoft money may be helping out.

Rumour [] has [] it that Paul Allen is backing Rutan and SpaceShipOne... []

Re:Thank you for your support (1)

agplusone (713209) | about 11 years ago | (#7128800)

". . . it turns every past purchase . . . "
and every future purchase as well
". . . into monetary support of future space industry."

And if you think you're read all the Heinlein there is, think again. See, and look under New Heinlein!

It sounded good until.. (0)

annisette (682090) | about 11 years ago | (#7119968)

the word commercialism was used, how about accomplishments in science in space or even to the first and then best science fiction story written in space...There will be "42's" floating around in space when we look in the right place or a litle closer.

Can you grok it? (1)

quinkin (601839) | about 11 years ago | (#7120524)

Stranger in a strange land - It should be compulsory reading for all bigots...


Where is the emphasis? (1)

Omega037 (712939) | about 11 years ago | (#7121266)

Is it for commercial "space activities", or "commercial space" activities? Cause I can think of plenty of "commercial space" activities...even if they are dirty

A _crucial_ realization, but how? (4, Insightful)

ControlFreal (661231) | about 11 years ago | (#7122545)

The idea behind rewarding a price for the commercial exploitation of space is not important, it's crucial. The purists among us might claim that space should be for all humanity, and that it should be used in an idealistic way, and that promoting commercialization of space leads to destructive capitalism out there.

However, please do wake up: as damaging as some of the forces of the free market might be, there is one thing in the free market that even governments have to a much smaller degree. That thing is money. As much as some of us (myself included) might dislike the greedy nature of mankind, fact is that if money is to be made, things will happen, and the end-result might be very good.

For example, look at the first satellites. Sure, the very first ones were launched for purely political reasons, but then the commercial communication-sats were lanched. Expericience with these kinds of satellites (launching risks, maintenance, reliability) has helped us to safely launch other kinds of satellites as well. E.g. at the moment there are a number of satellites watching over our ecosystem: the GOES [] , POES [] and others.

I firmly believe that if the exploration of space (and that's not limited to just LEO, but can also be extended to Mars or other places) must be a common venture of commercial and "idealistic" initiatives. And therefore I applaud the Heinlein Estate's prize.

However, I do have my doubt as to who might be able to win such a price: the regulations specifically exclude corporate or government-sponsored initiatives. This seems to mean that only individuals with a big bag of money can ever hope to win the prize. I've checked the main estate site [] , but haven't been able to find any nominations or ideas on what kind of initiatives might be nominated yet.

Any ideas?


trolman (648780) | about 11 years ago | (#7131229)

My first science fiction book author and this is a great cause and in keeping with the fact that there is no such thing as a free lunch.

If they people at NASA had followed RAH writings we would have people living on the moon today instead of rotating around the Earth in a glorified outhouse. Sigh.

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