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Cockroaches Daubed With Yeast As WMD Sensors?

simoniker posted more than 10 years ago | from the stop-laughing-at-the-back dept.

Security 162

Our Man In Redmond writes "OK, yeah, it sounds weird, but it just might work. Researchers at Sandia National Laboratories have come up with the idea of attaching genetically-modified yeast to the back of a cockroach - or a cockroach-sized robot - and using the yeast to detect chemical or biological agents. The story's in today's Seattle Post-Intelligencer. They point out some other possible nifty uses for the yeast-based technology, like detecting diseases by having a patient blow on a piece of paper 'printed' with the yeast."

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roaches, eh? (-1, Offtopic)

proctorg76 (657774) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345433)

Can these magical roaches be reprogrammed to seek out and destroy the GNAA headquarters? FRIST PS0t!

Re:roaches, eh? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345694)

To think, I could have been planning the next Holocaust [nazi.org] (which will include Mexicans) instead of reading about FUCKING COCKROACHES!

Explain (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345435)

They train young men to drop fire on people but their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplane because its obsene.

Problem solved! (5, Funny)

obsidianpreacher (316585) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345441)

Fear not, terrorists, I've got your solution! Just make your WMD in really, really, really bright laboratories! Problem solved!

*mumble mumble* ... what? Crap, I'm sorry ... gotta go ... some nice men in suits are here and need to talk about some "Patriot Act" or something ... I'll see you in about 20, I guess ...

blow... (1, Funny)

sewagemaster (466124) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345445)

" like detecting diseases by having a patient blow on a piece of paper 'printed' with the yeast."

now THAT's a blowjob

Re:blow... (1)

sewagemaster (466124) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345454)


and it's one type you dont have to worry about getting that yeast infection...

Re:blow... (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345480)

That's not funny. I am one of the rare few men who have had the dubious honor of getting a yeast infection. Fortunately, I found out that I just needed to make some changes in my diet to counteract the negative effects of antibiotics I'd takedn over the years. Antibiotics can do a lot of damage to the body's natural defenses (secndary immune system) unless you are knowledgable enough to supplement your diet with probiotics as far apart from the antibiotics as possible. All I can say is that male yeast infection is probably akin to scorching your foreskin (or in my case the corona since I'm circumcised) with a curling iron. All the way around... first it starts as an incessant itch and within hours it blows up into a fullblown set of ulcerated skin. Almost made me think I had herpes except there weren't any blisters. So.. don't take yeast lightly. It's a nasty and very dangerous substance.

Re:blow... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345653)

no, sorry.. that is funny

Re:blow... (-1, Flamebait)

BasharTeg (71923) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345693)

Maybe if you took care of your penis you wouldn't have such a sob story laced with anti-anti-biotic foolishness. Either you're pounding filthy vagina or you aren't keeping your tool clean. Let me suggest you wash more often. Doing so will keep your penis cleaner, and if you don't reek like ass, perhaps you can pull some cleaner women.

Again, the source of your problem is not anti-biotics, and the cure is not "probiotics." The problem is your disrespect for your penis.

two sandia stories in a row! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345447)

wtf

Wow that was slashdotted quickly (-1, Redundant)

Michael's a Jerk! (668185) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345453)

The yeast and the cockroach -- a spy tale
One infiltrates, the other collects data

By SUE VORENBERG
SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE

Meet the future of biological and chemical espionage: yeast and cockroaches.

Odd as the combination sounds, it could be the building block of a new, inexpensive spy device -- one that could sneak into a building and sense chemicals or biological agents, said Jeff Brinker, a Sandia National Laboratories scientist and professor at the University of New Mexico.

"Cockroaches are robust -- they can go into environments that humans can't withstand," Brinker said. "You could attach a sensing device onto the back of a cockroach and send it into a place where you suspect they're making chemical weapons.

"If you can go in covertly, you can collect evidence without anyone getting spooked."

Who needs the CIA when you've got cockroaches? As for the sensing device, Brinker said, that would be made of yeast.

"Yeast functions like a canary in a coal mine," said Helen Baca, a doctoral student working with Brinker. "If yeast cells are exposed to dangerous chemicals, they change and die. You can actually genetically modify yeast cells so when something specific happens to them, they change color."

Brinker and Baca are creating genetically modified yeast cells that can stay alive for days attached to the back of a cockroach -- or a cockroach-sized robot.

"Inside each yeast cell is a marker that turns green if it is exposed to a particular chemical," Brinker said. "They have optical radar where you can shoot a beam at the cockroach, and if a chemical triggered any of the yeast cells, it would be able to see the green fluorescent marker."

Keeping the yeast sensors alive isn't all that easy. The cells need a constant supply of water and nutrients, which is hard to supply on the back of a cockroach.

So the scientists decided to encase the cells in Sol-Gel, an insulation material that Brinker has modified and improved since he came to Sandia Labs in 1979.

"The Sol-Gel creates an environment like a tiny reservoir that can store an influx of nutrients," he said. "It maintains the hydrated environment, and to our surprise we found the yeast actually seems to develop a symbiotic relationship with the host material."

In other words, the yeast appears to eat a portion of the Sol-Gel, and the Sol-Gel keeps the yeast alive.

"We've had it survive for three days that way," Baca said. "It looks like there's the potential for them to last a lot longer than that."

And she means longer as in hundreds of years. That's because yeast becomes dormant when it is deprived of water and nutrients.

While it couldn't be used as a sensor in its dormant state, a quick drop of nutrients could suddenly bring the yeast back to life for its next mission, Brinker said.

"These yeast sensors can be applied to things by all kinds of interesting techniques," he said. "We've created an ink jet cartridge for a printer that can print out arrays of yeast in Sol-Gel droplets."

A printed page of yeast sensors could be taped or glued to the back of a cockroach or robot. It might even be used in unusual medical devices.

Say the yeast is engineered to detect human disease. Then a doctor could print up a yeast card, have a patient breathe on it and determine what illness the person has, Brinker said.

DO NOT MOD UP - KARMA WHORE - NOT /.ED (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345459)

You just a fucking karma whore. Its not even slashdotted. I would bet it won't be.

Re:DO NOT MOD UP - KARMA WHORE - NOT /.ED (0, Offtopic)

Michael's a Jerk! (668185) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345467)

umm, it was slashdotted in the 'mysterous future'. Maybe it worked for you - good on you. But it *crawled* for me.

Re:DO NOT MOD UP - KARMA WHORE - NOT /.ED (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345472)

Loaded instantly for me so must have been on your end.

Re:DO NOT MOD UP - KARMA WHORE - NOT /.ED (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345494)

OK, my mistake.

Re:DO NOT MOD UP - KARMA WHORE - NOT /.ED (0, Offtopic)

benna (614220) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345498)

Funny it looks like you have done [slashdot.org] this [slashdot.org] before [slashdot.org] .

Re:DO NOT MOD UP - KARMA WHORE - NOT /.ED (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345512)

You forgot one [slashdot.org] .

PLEASE MOD PARENT DOWN (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345518)

I would like to read about the article, not mindless offtopic crap. Please mod this entire thread (except maybe the OP) down. Thanks.

Re:PLEASE MOD PARENT DOWN (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345525)

Yeah because its impossible for you to say....ignore the thread.

Re:DO NOT MOD UP - KARMA WHORE - NOT /.ED (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345543)

Ohhh, maybe you pointed out a karma whore! good for you karma kop! you teh l33t!
worthless twat.

Women and children first (1)

Dancin_Santa (265275) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345456)

Why work on such esoteric stuff when we have tons of people sitting idle?

They can be our "smart detectors".

Re:Women and children first (1)

quigonn (80360) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345470)

Why work on such esoteric stuff when we have tons of people sitting idle?

They can be our "smart detectors".


Now _that_ would definitely lower the unemployment rate!

Re:Women and children first (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345511)

Yeah, get the general unemployed public to search luggage. Bet you'll catch some WMD, but I also bet that drug traffic increases.

Re:Women and children first (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345526)

What's minimum wage for a cockroach? I'm willing to bet most /.ers will do it for less. Let's hope the cockroaches don't have a good union.

Re:Women and children first (1)

krymsin01 (700838) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345531)

So could WMD being snuck into the country. *shrug*

Re:Women and children first (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345646)

That is a great open source businessmodel!

1: Make free software.
2: ?
3: Use women and children as WMD detectors.
4: Profit!

What the hell you doin' in my house? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345462)

Eatin' a big ass sandwich and shit?

Great... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345466)

Until they find out that the GM yeasts
unleash a plague far worse than what
they were trying to avoid.

Worse than great?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345590)

Worse yet, can you imagine letting all these cockroaches loose, to try to find WMDs, and then when none are found, release more. None found? Release more. THEN you have to nuke the place to get rid of all the roaches...

But when the roaches won't die from the radiation? What then?

Does this make sense to anyone here? Anyone?

Just what we need..... (1)

Rod76 (705840) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345471)

now we'll have groups complaining about roach cruelty...

Re:Just what we need..... (1)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345623)

"now we'll have groups complaining about roach cruelty... "

Ever wonder if Starship Troopers had to deal with that? There's a propoganda scene with kids squishing cockroaches. Heh.

I know, I know, I'm not very on-topic here. I just find it interesting that PETA and the like seem to value animal life over human life. During the Iraq War there was some information about specially trained Dolphins that could locate mines without setting them off. They'd relay the info back to a nearby sub so they'd know where not to be. No Dolpins were hurt, but the animal rights activists had their panties in a bunch. It's okay for a sub full of Americans to go down when striking a mine, but don't you dare put a dolphin in harm's way even when it's smart enough to avoid danger.

Sorry for the lack of off-topicness here, I just wouldn't be surprised at all if a group like PETA were bothered by this. (Well maybe a little, they seem to care more about mammals than insects...)

And how will this pan out? (4, Funny)

screwballicus (313964) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345473)

1) Cockroaches fail to find evidence of WMDs.
2) Government asserts non-cooperation on part of regime under inspection with cockroaches conducting said inspections.
3) ???
4) Democracy!

Re:And how will this pan out? (1)

Intocabile (532593) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345529)

...
3) Cockroaches grow by an order of a magnitude due to the genetically modified yeast. All hail our genetically modified overlords.
4) "Democracy!"

Re:And how will this pan out? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345635)

Complete open source businessmodel!

1: Make free software.
2: ?
3: Use cockroaches as WMD detectors.
4: Profit!

Yeast Based Technology (5, Funny)

jawtheshark (198669) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345481)

other possible nifty uses for the yeast-based technology

Yeah, I know one "nifty" technology based on yeast: it's called "beer" and has been around for thousands of years. Hoooray for yeast! ;-)

Regarding your sig (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345496)

Who is Christine Watkins? Not trying to be OT but when you have a sig like that with no link, I have to ask. Thanks in advance.

Re:Regarding your sig (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345549)

There is no link in my sig because Christine Watkins doesn't exist. The sig is a joke, but only very few people get it. So here is an explanation [slashdot.org] .

Need a name for this critter (4, Funny)

arvindn (542080) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345482)


I suggest cockroach + robot = "cockrobot" :)

As an added benefit: "I, for one, welcome our new cockrobot overlords" has a nice ring to it.

Re:Need a name for this critter (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345497)

yeah, but cockbot is a lot funnier

Re:Need a name for this critter (1)

bunhed (208100) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345988)

cockbot == dildo

Re:Need a name for this critter (1)

cra (172225) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345555)

Or "botroach".

Damn, that sounds like a cartoon! "Cockbot and Botroach". Heh, heheheh he-heh. . . :-)

Re:Need a name for this critter (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345556)

I was thinking "ROBOCOCK" personally.

Re:Need a name for this critter (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345602)

That joke was so close to being great. If only you'd made the leap from "cockrobot" to "cockbot", that could have been a hilarious post. Instead it's merely mediocre. Also your timing could use a little work. Furthermore, the cliched "overlords" bit just detracts from the original part of the joke.

Overall, this joke gets a 5/10.
-- Slashdot joke reviewer

Re:Need a name for this critter (1)

Dancin_Santa (265275) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345674)

YHBT. YHL.

Don't you get it? He intentionally picked the stupidest name possible to get flamebots like you to suggest 'cockbot'.

It's like showing you this guy [prestongates.com] and making the joke that he is probably really good at banning gas.

Re:Need a name for this critter (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345866)

Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. I pity anybody who spends his life trolling slashdot by making bad jokes and hoping people will reply with better ones. What kind of a pathetic existence must it be to have nothing better to do than make troll joke posts on slashdot and then laugh at people for replying and improving your joke? I mean seriously. Maybe that's how you get your jollies but I don't think it's a good explanation for arvindn's post.

Re:Need a name for this critter (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345875)

YHBT. YHL. HAND.

Death to Post--Modernists (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345484)

WTF is a Post-Intelligencer anyway?

Dude where's my WMD? (0)

Spruce Moose (1857) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345486)

Gee GW sounds like he's getting pretty desparate now!

Article Text (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345487)

The yeast and the cockroach -- a spy tale
One infiltrates, the other collects data

By SUE VORENBERG
SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE

Meet the future of biological and chemical espionage: yeast and cockroaches.

Odd as the combination sounds, it could be the building block of a new, inexpensive spy device -- one that could sneak into a building and sense chemicals or biological agents, said Jeff Brinker, a Sandia National Laboratories scientist and professor at the University of New Mexico.

"Cockroaches are robust -- they can go into environments that humans can't withstand," Brinker said. "You could attach a sensing device onto the back of a cockroach and send it into a place where you suspect they're making chemical weapons.

"If you can go in covertly, you can collect evidence without anyone getting spooked."

Who needs the CIA when you've got cockroaches? As for the sensing device, Brinker said, that would be made of yeast.

"Yeast functions like a canary in a coal mine," said Helen Baca, a doctoral student working with Brinker. "If yeast cells are exposed to dangerous chemicals, they change and die. You can actually genetically modify yeast cells so when something specific happens to them, they change color."

Brinker and Baca are creating genetically modified yeast cells that can stay alive for days attached to the back of a cockroach -- or a cockroach-sized robot.

"Inside each yeast cell is a marker that turns green if it is exposed to a particular chemical," Brinker said. "They have optical radar where you can shoot a beam at the cockroach, and if a chemical triggered any of the yeast cells, it would be able to see the green fluorescent marker."

Keeping the yeast sensors alive isn't all that easy. The cells need a constant supply of water and nutrients, which is hard to supply on the back of a cockroach.

So the scientists decided to encase the cells in Sol-Gel, an insulation material that Brinker has modified and improved since he came to Sandia Labs in 1979.

"The Sol-Gel creates an environment like a tiny reservoir that can store an influx of nutrients," he said. "It maintains the hydrated environment, and to our surprise we found the yeast actually seems to develop a symbiotic relationship with the host material."

In other words, the yeast appears to eat a portion of the Sol-Gel, and the Sol-Gel keeps the yeast alive.

"We've had it survive for three days that way," Baca said. "It looks like there's the potential for them to last a lot longer than that."

And she means longer as in hundreds of years. That's because yeast becomes dormant when it is deprived of water and nutrients.

While it couldn't be used as a sensor in its dormant state, a quick drop of nutrients could suddenly bring the yeast back to life for its next mission, Brinker said.

"These yeast sensors can be applied to things by all kinds of interesting techniques," he said. "We've created an ink jet cartridge for a printer that can print out arrays of yeast in Sol-Gel droplets."

A printed page of yeast sensors could be taped or glued to the back of a cockroach or robot. It might even be used in unusual medical devices.

Say the yeast is engineered to detect human disease. Then a doctor could print up a yeast card, have a patient breathe on it and determine what illness the person has, Brinker said.

Detecting WMDs... (4, Insightful)

MosesJones (55544) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345490)


Has become the new "Star Wars" angle for research. Looking for new Funding ? Unsure that it will get approved ? Well see how it could possibly be applied to WMD, it doesn't have to be sensible, it just has to be enough to get the funding. After all there are people of billions of dollars out there who can't find WMD, so your research not doing it either won't change anything.

This is for the diagnosis of illnesses, pure and simple. And at 2am in a bar when the funding review was at 10am the researchers had an idea.

O-kaaay... (2, Interesting)

geekwench (644364) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345492)

Personally, I'm hoping for the mini-bots to be used in this technique, rather than actual cockroaches. When you look at the type of environment that the little buggers prefer, the Feds would be "finding" chemical and biological agents in every alley dumpster in the country. Not to mention the apartments of a large percentage of bachelor males. At least the robots will presumably go where you want them to.

Young bachelor to FBI agent: "That's not a biological weapons lab, man; that's my kitchen!

Of course... (-1, Troll)

corebreech (469871) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345500)

...by the time the monkey assigned to observe the changes in the cockroaches actually observes a change of interest, it's already too late.

We're not going to solve the problem of terrorism by introducing new technology to the equation. It's the new technology that got us into this mess in the first place.

No, what solves the problem is acknowledging all the fucked up things we've done to other people in other nations/cultures that causes them to hate us so.

Understanding that we cause 99% of the shit that comes our way is the very best anti-terrorism measure we can take.

Of course, for those who wield all the power in this country, that simply won't do. They depend on our ability to inflict death and misery upon other nations so as to more easily extract their natural resources.

They understand that there are going to be repercussions by doing this, but to their mind that doesn't mean it's wrong in any way, only that they should take care to be long gone before those repercussions become real.

The horrible, brutal truth of the matter is that our very best course out of all of this is to not only cease and desist from fucking over other people, but to understand as well that because we've spent so many years fucking over all these other people in all these other nations that we're due all kinds of grief in the years to come no matter what we due today.

In other words, we could as a nation act as angels and still get shit thrown our way, simply because the seeds were planted by our predecessors long ago.

The sobering reality is this: if we are really interested in a peaceful future, we have to be ready to take a major kick to the balls, and then smile like nothing happened.

Or in other words, accept the fact that Manhattan is going to get nuked. Accept that the reason it got nuked was because of atrocities we've committed upon other people long ago. Accept that our retaliating for Manhatten being made to glow green will only cause DC, Atlanta, Chicago and San Francisco to glow green as well.

But of course, this will never happen. Our political system does not support rational leadership. Look at the insane reaction to 9/11. Now multiple that by a google (no, not the search engine) to understand what will happen when finally America is made to account for it's evil past.

We're fucked. We are totally fucked.

The cockroaches aren't going to save us. They are here to survive us.

Have a nice day.

Re:Of course... (0, Flamebait)

Toasty981 (43996) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345560)

So let me get this straight: Developing new technology won't help, because that was the problem in the first place. However, even if we "act like angels" and don't do anything for here on out, we're still screwed because (in your mind) it's okay for terrorists to murder us.

For sake of argument, let's accept your inane "solution" as true. Shouldn't we still try to at least develop countermeasures instead of "taking a kick in the balls"?

What are you, a feverish follower of Michael Moore that steadfastly believes the USA is the only nation to have ever done evil things? I can only hope you were kidding when you say that the we let some of our major cities be destroyed, then use the term "rational leadership" in the next paragraph. Yeah, accepting a nuclear destruction is perfectly rational.

By the way, here are 2,998 people who had nothing to do [www.septem...ictims.com] with America's "evil past".

Re:Of course... (1, Flamebait)

corebreech (469871) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345621)

Shouldn't we still try to at least develop countermeasures instead of "taking a kick in the balls"?

Exclusive of any other effort? No. Absolutely not.

Now, if some of you monkeys decide you're big enough to address the root cause of all this terrorism, and then, as a complement, work on new technology to thwart further acts of violence, then yeah, that would be good.

But to continue to place all our faith in technology without understanding why people want to kill us? That's stupid.

Are you stupid?


By the way, here are 2,998 people who had nothing to do with America's "evil past".


Actually, the number is now 2,976 [yahoo.com] , idiot. If you bothered keeping current with the news, you'd know that. And yes, ordinarily such a correction would count as picking nits, but the fact of the matter is that it's because so many of you skip reading international news that we're in this mess in the first place. You're too busy watching football or wrestling.

And so you are completely unaware as the rat monkeys who control this country continue to plunder and rape other nations, causing untold misery and grief... misery and grief which eventually finds it's expression in acts like 9/11, and who are more than happy to leave the rest of us exposed to the consequences.

Did the victims of 9/11 deserve it? No more than any of the rest of us did. We all choose to remain ignorant of the evil deeds committed by our government, so in a very real sense, yes, we are responsible.

I can only hope you were kidding when you say that the we let some of our major cities be destroyed, then use the term "rational leadership" in the next paragraph.

Of course, I didn't say that. In fact, my council here was aimed at preventing such an occurance. And if you could a) read, and b) think, you'd understand that.

Thank you for letting your stupidity screw the rest of us over.

It's people like you that make me hope that hell really exists.

Re:Of course... (0, Flamebait)

Toasty981 (43996) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345695)



Exclusive of any other effort? No. Absolutely not.

Now, if some of you monkeys decide you're big enough to address the root cause of all this terrorism, and then, as a complement, work on new technology to thwart further acts of violence, then yeah, that would be good.

But to continue to place all our faith in technology without understanding why people want to kill us? That's stupid.

Are you stupid?



How the hell does this garbage get modded up? Exclusive of any other effort? You didn't make that point in the parent. You simply stated that we should accept retaliation, and that NOTHING can be done about it since the country needs to atone for the past. Using that line of logic, we're fucked no matter WHAT we do--as you said--so we might as well develop a counter technology, no? Let me note it again for you:


"The horrible, brutal truth of the matter is that our very best course out of all of this is to not only cease and desist from fucking over other people, but to understand as well that because we've spent so many years fucking over all these other people in all these other nations that we're due all kinds of grief in the years to come no matter what we due today."


On one hand, you say we should accept and expect attacks. Yet, if we study the causes of them, won't they still do it anyway? These are irreconcilable, and that is one of many reasons I called your original point inane.

You want to know why people want to kill us or do harm? Or why the USA and every other nation in the world has done it in the past? Because people are assholes, as richly evidenced by your invective. Let's say I'm assaulted on the street (a growing problem at my college). Frankly, I don't give a fuck if my assualter was abused as a child. I don't give a fuck if he got fired from his job. You know what I do care about? Stopping him from doing it in the first place if possible, and then preventing it in the future. If, in conjunction with that, you want to study the reasons behind the attack, great, I'm all for that. I enjoy studying history, anthropological issues, and sociology. But I also realize that it's not going to do a damn thing, because people will continue to do evil things regardless.



Actually, the number is now 2,976, idiot. If you bothered keeping current with the news, you'd know that. And yes, ordinarily such a correction would count as picking nits, but the fact of the matter is that it's because so many of you skip reading international news that we're in this mess in the first place. You're too busy watching football or wrestling.

Did the victims of 9/11 deserve it? No more than any of the rest of us did. We all choose to remain ignorant of the evil deeds committed by our government, so in a very real sense, yes, we are responsible.



Only idiots conclude anything from their ability of doing a quick search of Yahoo news. I went to the quickest website that listed the victims. Anyone who misses an update on a minor 9/11 correction is automatically an idiot? Okay, sure. I don't have the time to check every bit of news. I don't even really know why I'm posting on /. at 4 AM when I have more work to do.

And I know we go through this a *million* times whenever small people like yourself get involved in semantics, but learn the difference between the possessive form of it and its (like that) contraction. Don't you find it the least bit interesting that the very thing you're criticizing people for you (basically being dicks) you do yourself?



Of course, I didn't say that. In fact, my council here was aimed at preventing such an occurance. And if you could a) read, and b) think, you'd understand that.

Thank you for letting your stupidity screw the rest of us over.

It's people like you that make me hope that hell really exists.



Obviously, you're incapable of remembering what you typed about 40 minutes ago:



Or in other words, accept the fact that Manhattan is going to get nuked. Accept that the reason it got nuked was because of atrocities we've committed upon other people long ago. Accept that our retaliating for Manhatten being made to glow green will only cause DC, Atlanta, Chicago and San Francisco to glow green as well.



Accept the fact that Manhattan will get destroyed because we're partly responsbile for letting our government get away with atrocities, correct? It's not my fault you can't make your points coherently. In fact, it's not your fault either, it's your insane idealistic ideas that are nice but won't happen.

If you want to find out about the whole hell thing, why not join one of those human shield operations? Let me know how it goes.

Re:Of course... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345714)

Hey Toasty, stop feeding the troll FFS! He may actual think someone is listening. Then we'll have to put up with MORE of him.

Re:Of course... (2, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345989)

i'll take 10,000 of those "monkeys" you talk about above 1 self-important pompous arrogant windbag like yourself

your arrogant attitude and dim consideration of your fellow human being is part of the problem, not the solution

you are not better educated about the problems of the world, you are merely drowning in self-righteous teenage-level cynicism about the world

you're actually a dime a dozen, and you suck

get back to us when you grow up, teenager

Re:Of course... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345704)

cry me a freakin river..

if you feel this way why not move? better yet, since you haven't moved already, what have you done to change our so corrupt system? anything at all? rants on /. don't count. do you even vote?

fact: the world isn't going to stop spinning for this crap and there are more important things in life then death. i suggest you find a better outlet for your time.

Re:Of course... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345973)

do you even vote?

This is Slashdot. Median poster age = 17. He's likely not even old enough to vote.

Re:Of course... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345807)

"Our political system does not support rational leadership" So...er...you're suggesting fascism?

Re:Of course... (0)

Kris Thalamus (555841) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345925)

multiple that by a google (no, not the search engine)
Google is a search engine and not a number. You may be thinking of ten to the hundredth power which is spelled googol.

Excellent (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345515)

We are now using the cockroaches found at den*y's to search for WMD!

ingenius!

My baker isn't a terrorist (1)

Grave_Rose (715146) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345520)

So, I guess I can rest assured that the guy down the road baking baguettes isn't a terrorist then? ;)

Gr@ve_Rose

Re:My baker isn't a terrorist (3, Funny)

peterpi (585134) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345987)

Why not have him take the 4-step Dubyamatic Terrorism Survey?
  1. Do you have skin darker than a manilla envelope? If no, go to (4)
  2. Do you have a beard? If no, go to (4)
  3. Congratualtions, you are a terrorist!
  4. Unfortunately, you are not a terrorist this time. We encourage you to take the Dubyamatic Terrorism Survey again at a later date.

Let's focus, people (5, Funny)

writertype (541679) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345524)

Weapons of mass destruction. Biological outbreaks of plague. Medical sensors. Bah.

There is one purpose for which yeast, and yeast research, should be put. Beer. Better beer. Beer that tastes great, but is less filling. Beer that I can drink until snookered, then wake up from the next day, hangover free.

Beer.

Any questions?

Any questions about yeast research? (1)

Our Man In Redmond (63094) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345711)

Yeah, I got a question.

What about bread?

Um, to go with the beer, of course.

Re:Let's focus, people (1)

h00pla (532294) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345722)

And better bread too!

Getting the coackroaches back (5, Funny)

rf0 (159958) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345569)

OK this is cool You send the coachroaches out into an area where there is WMD. How do you check the yeast? Have the coachroacges on a really long leash? :)

Rus

Re:Getting the coackroaches back (1)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345633)

"OK this is cool You send the coachroaches out into an area where there is WMD. How do you check the yeast? Have the coachroacges on a really long leash? :)"

Release the cockroaches, rent an apartment in Baghdad, and put a geiger counter under the sink. When a loud clicking noise wakes you up at 3am, call Geraldo. He'll draw a map for the good guys and the bad guys.

Remote-Controlled Cockroaches (1)

umofomia (639418) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345654)

OK this is cool You send the coachroaches out into an area where there is WMD. How do you check the yeast? Have the coachroacges on a really long leash? :)
like this [wireheading.com] ...

Re:Remote-Controlled Cockroaches (1)

LordLucless (582312) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345939)

"They are a little bit smelly, and there's something about the way they move their antennae. But they look nicer when you put a little circuit on their backs and remove their wings."

Man, you so know this guy pulled the wings off of flies when he was a little tyke.

Re:Getting the coackroaches back (2, Funny)

Our Man In Redmond (63094) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345729)

Yeah, I wondered about that too. I figured they'd put some kind of small transmitter on the cockroach's back to signal if they got a positive read from the yeast.

Or, they'd take the Rumsfeld approach and just hook the detector to the world's tiniest nuclear weapon. The yeast changes color, and BLAM! Problem solved.

Of course then you have to worry about the 40-foot cockroach . . .

Re:Getting the coackroaches back (1)

morgus morphus (175508) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345823)

Don't cockroaches react to certain chemicals that can be used as bait?

So you could send them out, then use a bait-laden trap to capture them again. I don't really see it working as an early-warning system though...

That's easy... (2, Funny)

taped2thedesk (614051) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345969)

... just have a cockroach with a tiny little camera strapped to its back go in behind the yeast roach.

Bush election plan (0, Troll)

CGP314 (672613) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345570)

1) Get a cockroach
2) Get some yeast
3) ???
4) WMDs!

Doctor (4, Funny)

jabbadabbadoo (599681) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345576)

Doctor: "Sir, can you blow on this piece?" (points on a piece of papers, but the patient doesn't notice.)

Patient blows.

Doctor: "Ehmmm. You have herpes."

Patient: "What? One blow, and you say I have herpes?"

It won't work! (1)

mstamat (519697) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345587)

Haven't they learn from Hollywood movies? In the most critical moment, a bad guy will squash the spy-roach under his boot and the good guys will have to find another way to get what they want.

Aaah (2, Insightful)

bacon-kidney-pie (717079) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345613)

And when you get them back you can use them to make Vegemite [vegemite.com.au]

Re:Aaah (1)

LordLucless (582312) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345947)

Insightful? What the? Where do you mods get off? Vegemite is an Australian spread (one might say icon, even though the yanks bought it out years ago) not cockroach puree.

And I don't think we'd want our happy little vegemites to glow in the dark after smearing some chemical weapons yeast extract, either. Roses in cheeks just wouldn't be in it then.

Re:Aaah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345963)

Maybe we could detect chemical weapons using Australians by producing a specially modified version of Vegemite. Could this be a job for Steve Irwin?

Re:Aaah (4, Funny)

LordLucless (582312) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345990)

The Australian population in general would no doubt be much obliged if you send Steve Irwin out after WMDs.

"Crikey, it's a big one, look at the plutonium on that-" [Camera pans out, mushroom cloud silently expands to the clouds, and another Aussie stereotype dies a long-awaited death]

Dubya will stop at nothing ! (0, Troll)

The Famous Druid (89404) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345630)

Boy, this is starting to smell of desperation.

Come on Dubya, face it.

There were no Weapons of Mass Destruction

Now that's too much (4, Funny)

varjag (415848) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345636)

So, the USA not just destroys Iraqi infrastructure to stone age, they now want to flood the ruins with yeast-infected cockroaches?

No limits to human cruelty..

Emmm... (2, Funny)

richie2000 (159732) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345637)

Cockroaches Daubed With Yeast As WMD Sensors?

So if they are still alive when all humans are gone, we'll know it was a really, really good weapon. What? Oh...

I for one.. (4, Funny)

Channard (693317) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345642)

.. welcome our new bread-making anthrax-detecting apocalypse-surviving insect overlords.

In future... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345643)

Yeah right, if that succeeds, we might need WMD to eliminate cockroaches in future.

Well How things change. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345661)

Finally Daryl McBride does something good for the community. I wish him luck on his WMD search.

Best Solution Ever!!! (1)

Eberlin (570874) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345666)

Finally, a little yeast on the back of every SCO bigwig, folks of the MPAA, RIAA, MS Employees, and most government officials...and they're useful again!

Who said we couldn't find good uses for vermin?

WMDs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7345677)

I really don't get that. If it's far enough in the open for a cockroach to find, couldn't you just look around for all the human corpses?

Yeah... (1)

jlemmerer (242376) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345703)

and with the correct software they will be able to provide "proof" that saddam actually had WMD's.
Better than letting those robots search for weapons they should be used to help rescue workers in saving lifes. I think the small form factor would make it easy to let them search for survivors under collapsed buildings after earth quakes or - as we saw in Russia lately - help examine tunnels or mine shafts for survivors after accidents. Why does research always drift in the military direction? *sigh*

Re:Yeah... (1)

kcelery (410487) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345850)

Croaches aint gonna detect nothing benneath the insecticide factory.

The Next Step In Terrorism? (2, Insightful)

bboyers (21742) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345727)

The discussion on the yeast in the story seems like the easy part (IANABC-I am not a Biologist-Chemist), but making a cockroach that has enough power, is controllable (either remotely or through AI), and is actually useful would be the hard part.

The civilized world has more to fear from the development of technology like this than the terrorists do. A cockroach is less of a threat to a terrorist hiding in a cave (they can find a new cave or have a pet snake to eat the cockroaches), verses nations that have nuclear powerplants, mass transit systems, and airplanes that could fall victim to a terrorist controlled cockroach-bots that likes to munch on wires/circuit boards and fuel lines.

Development of miniature cockroach robots will initially be by First World nations, but the technology will proliferate much easier than nuclear capability ever did. It would be easier to hide a cockroach-bot program than a nuclear program, and a cockroach-bot will be more useful.

Re:The Next Step In Terrorism? (1)

nucal (561664) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345932)

Although Swimming Cockroach Robots [slashdot.org] are already in the works, I'm actually much more worried about terrorists developing this [gojistomp.org] .

It's a WMD sensor and a snack food! (1)

kahei (466208) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345748)

mmm... cockroaches daubed with yeast...

Countermeasure (2, Funny)

Zog The Undeniable (632031) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345756)

Won't the bad guys just buy a few cans of pyrethrin lacquer (the stuff you spray around ant holes). "I'm sorry, Mrs. Roach, but your husband is missing presumed dead. He crawled for what he believed in."

In The Future... (1)

bboyers (21742) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345772)

...it will be easy to spot the terrorist hiding WMD since they'll have huge collection of frogs, reptiles, birds and sharks with frickin' "laser" beams attached to their heads protecting their lair of WMD.

Works for Windows Serves Too! (1)

teledyne (325332) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345867)

Directions:

1. Get access to your server.
2. Blow yeast on it.
3. ???
4. If yeast turns green, there's a patch coming out soon. If it turns red, well, you're screwed.

Hollywood has taught us... (2, Funny)

escallywag (715579) | more than 10 years ago | (#7345871)

... that it's a very bad idea to mix anything "genetically modified" and "cockroach"... Mimic anyone ? Am I the only one that envisions frothing swarms of sentient, mansized, flesh eating, multiplying-at-the-rate-of-yeast-bacteriae cockroaches surging out of Manhattans' manholes ?

On a brighter note, it could also spawn a new breed of crunchy luxury beer called "Skuttlebrau"

Around here... (1)

aaaurgh (455697) | more than 10 years ago | (#7346020)

...the only W.M.D. the cockies will detect is a can of Mortein or Raid, yeast or not! Pfffssst!
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