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Traffic Light Switcher Makes Critics See Red

simoniker posted more than 10 years ago | from the green-for-go dept.

Science 600

An anonymous reader writes "According to a Yahoo/Washington Post article: 'It sounds like a suffering commuter's dream come true: a dashboard device that changes red traffic lights to green at the touch of a button. Police, fire and rescue vehicles have had access to such equipment for years, but now the devices are becoming available to ordinary motorists thanks to advances in technology and a little help from the Internet. Safety advocates are outraged, and news accounts in Michigan last week led to politicians there seeking a ban on the gadgets'." Update: 11/06 02:25 GMT by S : A previous Slashdot story mentions the device, though not the Michigan legislature's subsequent ire.

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greased yoda doll story by tsarkon reports (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403198)

"I don't think I can do this, Greased Yoda Doll," Qui-Gon Jinn said, gazing down at his lover.

Greased Yoda Doll KenGreased Yoda Doll was parked on the fresher floor with his back against the wall. "Why not?" he asked.

"It's...unnatural."

"Unnatural? That's one of the most natural things a being can do."

The master's eyebrows rose. "I wasn't referring to my part in this."

"To each his own," Greased Yoda Doll responded, grinning wickedly. "Please?"

Qui-Gon's gaze wandered from his sinfully attractive apprentice to the toilet in front of him. The younger man's fetish had him completely stumped. It also made him uncomfortable; he'd never done this with anyone purposely watching. Yet, the fact that it appealed to Greased Yoda Doll was fascinating to him, and judging by the obvious bulge in the padawan's thin sleep pants, Greased Yoda Doll was rather appealed at that moment.

Taking a deep breath, the elder Jedi began to unfasten his trousers. "For you, I will." He pulled out his limp penis and aimed for the waiting toilet bowl, allowing his bladder to relieve itself at last.

Greased Yoda Doll leaned forward. "Oh, please, slower...yes, slower..."

The master complied, allowing small squirts and dribbles at a time while he watched the younger man. Greased Yoda Doll closed his eyes and opened his mouth slightly, enjoying the pungent odor with as many senses as he could. He looked like a feline basking in the scent of another's marking.

Reaching out, he stroked the head of his lover's cock with one finger before placing his whole hand in the golden wash falling below. Tiny rivulets paved heated trails down his flesh, making him moan softly.

Qui-Gon blinked in surprise, as captivated by his apprentice's reaction as Greased Yoda Doll was with this particular bodily function.

With his free hand, Greased Yoda Doll fumbled with the front of his sleep pants, desperate to reach his throbbing erection. His stroked himself almost brutally, his gaze never leaving the slow, intermittent stream of amber-colored jiss.

"Yes..." he whispered, capturing some of Qui-Gon's essence in his palm and bringing it to him. He spilled it on his bare chest, smearing it through chest hair and over hardened nipples before bringing a single finger to his mouth. He engulfed the digit eagerly, whimpering as the sharp tang exploded on his taste buds. It was enough.

Greased Yoda Doll moaned loudly as he felt orgasm approaching. He quickened his rhythm, pulling himself hard so that a touch of pain mixed with the building pleasure. The edge had never been so unbearably raw before, and the apprentice reveled in it. But it wasn't until he felt the warm wetness of a golden bath from his lover that Greased Yoda Doll finally let go.

Qui-Gon watched in amazement as the younger man came with a loud, hoarse cry. Greased Yoda Doll's body jerked and trembled, hot spurts of seed mingling with the yellow essence that Qui-Gon was now spilling onto him. It was pure bliss.

Moments later, the apprentice sagged bonelessly against the wall, still panting. Aftershocks surged through him, reducing his ability to speak even further. All he could do was gaze up at his lover and smile.

The elder Jedi tucked himself back into his trousers and knelt down. He grasped one of Greased Yoda Doll's calves and began a slow massage to help bring the younger man down from his high. "I can't believe I just did that."

Greased Yoda Doll chuckled weakly. "I can't believe you weren't aroused," he managed to say.

"Let's just say my own fetishes are...quite unlike yours."

"You mean you actually *have* fetishes?"

The older man just smiled.

Laughter rang through the tiny fresher as both men considered the possibilities. Then Greased Yoda Doll used all his remaining strength to lean forward and kiss his lover. "Things could get interesting around here," he whispered against Qui-Gon's lips.

"Indeed..."

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403220)

As the creator of the "Greased Up Yoda Doll" troll I must congratulate all who have followed in my footsteps. May Yoda Doll live forever in our hearts and shoved up our asses. THANK YOU!

tsarkon thanks the greased yoda creator! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403247)

thanks for creating greased yoda doll. i've never been so amused by a troll as i was by the concept of the greased yoda doll. i can only imagine the hordes of pre-sexual slashdotians greasing up star wars figures for insertion.

in greased yoda doll's honor, ill post the song and the greased instructions.

GREASED YODA !

8 steps to greasing your anus for yoda doll insertion

1) defecate. preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage and hot sauces.
2) wipe ass with witch hazel, soothes horrific burns
3) prime anus with anal ease.
4) slather richly a considerable amount of vaseline or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your yoda doll or yoda soap on a rope and liberally apply it.
5) pucker your ballon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to work it in
6) slowly rest yourself onto your yoda figurine
7) make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because that is built in.
8) gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Read slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you dont check the (desired - speaks english) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Get Linux to boot on a Black And Decker Appliance. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that IDE is better than SCSI because you cant afford SCSI. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate windows but use it for Everquest. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful star wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who arent fatter than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a yoda voice and saying, feel the force, padawan, feeel the foooorce, hurgm. Yes. Yes. When 900 years you reach, a dick half as big you will not have.

All in a days work with a yoda figurine rammed up your ass.

Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Take your ass grease pills and put your helmet on
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition and may God's love shove up you
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Shove Up
This is Ground Control to Yoda Doll
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose butts you tear
Now it's time to leave the suppository if you dare
"This is Yoda Doll to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm stinking in a most peculiar way
And the ass look very different today
For here am I sitting in an ass can
Far inside the butt
My face is turning blue
And there's nothing I can do
Though I'm past one hundred thousand bowels
I'm feeling very still
And I think my buttship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I ream her very much, she knows"
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you....
"Here am I floating in my ass can
Far inside his Moon
My face is turning blue
And there's nothing I can do."

Creator thanks tsarkon for the 8 steps (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403275)

(presuming that is your creation). While I will claim credit for the original concept and the David Bowie parody, the "8 Steps" is a fine contribution to Yodadom for mankind. May your Yoda Doll be slathered in liquid gold!

Re:Creator thanks tsarkon for the 8 steps (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403332)

Yes, the 8 steps. Not necessarily a Magnum Opus, as they were constructed in haste to honor the Greased Yoda Doll as quickly as possible. I was laughing to the point of breaking a sweat when I was writing that.

I need to broaden my line of Yoda literary products and post them with great vigor for public consumption!

Re:Creator thanks tsarkon for the 8 steps (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403373)

Y'all are some sick fucks. Thanks for the giggles.

Re:tsarkon thanks the greased yoda creator! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403283)

(oh yeah, you beat the Creator to the First Post, too. :)

I GOT A GREASED UP YODA DOLL SHOVED UP MY ASS! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403199)

SHOVE LINUX!

Re:I GOT A GREASED UP YODA DOLL SHOVED UP MY ASS! (-1)

handybundler (232934) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403345)

In Soviet Russia, Linux shoves YOU in Yoda doll's ass.

Chrome box (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403201)

Did we forget the old chrome boxes?

Re:Chrome box (1)

d34thm0nk3y (653414) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403239)

No shit. I though about building and selling them back in the day but figured I would get my ass sued or in jail or something. I guess a big add campaign adds legitimacy or something.

oh ya.. (1)

d34thm0nk3y (653414) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403265)

plus, in a lot of places all they do is turn all the lights red.

Re:oh ya.. (1)

IM6100 (692796) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403371)

Well, that even seems useful to me.

I am so tired of localities where they stick in a traffic light that 'regulates' traffic that isn't congested. What ends up happening is the mechanism causes traffic to 'bunch up' which creates a traffic hazard that wasn't there before, when there was a safe four way stop. Maybe a whole lot of extra red lights would get people mad enough that the lights would get pulled.

Re:Chrome box (1)

rindeee (530084) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403409)

My thought exactly. We built and used these back in the late 80's in my small mid-western home town. Hardley news.

ER

and slashdot readers.. (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403204)

get bored of dumbass repeats....

timothy is gay.

I want one! (0, Troll)

IDreamInCode (672260) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403205)

where can I get one of these before they are banned?? I hate traffic in LA

Re:I want one! (1)

brianosaurus (48471) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403227)

Ha!

A better question: Where can I get one before everyone else does. As long as you're the only one with the device, it will probably be useful. What happens whtn you and another "ambulence" are heading towards the same intersection? What happens when 20 people coming from all different directions have the device?

Chaos anyone?

Re:I want one! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403240)

And thereby, you become part of the problem, contributing to the number of people who will finally succeed in completely gridlocking LA. What we need are computer controlled cars. Get in, specify your destination - and it does the routing, the driving, the picking up of potential ridemates and whatever else is left.

Re:I want one! (5, Insightful)

rtaylor (70602) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403245)

Funny thing, it'll only actually work for the first 100 people. After that, traffic will be substantially slower due to the lights being out of sync that it'll be slower for everyone.

Kinda like sitting in the middle of an intersection on a red. Sure, you were 20 feet ahead of those behind you but the only reason you're stuck in the intersection is the guy 3 blocks up blocking your route.

It's tough, but if everyone cleaned up their driving habits, everyone would be home 5 or 10 minutes earlier rather than just the poor drivers getting home 2 to 3 minutes earlier.

Re:I want one! (1)

Peyna (14792) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403273)

What gets me is the people that continue through after the light turns red for so long that everyone who has a green light has to wait on them, so then the people after then going the other way have to wait again. In the end there is no net advantage to anyone except the first person to do it.

Re:I want one! (2, Insightful)

IDreamInCode (672260) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403309)

What we really need to do is program the lights so that traffic continues to move at the most efficient pace possible. I've sat at so many lights that don't turn green for minutes and there is NO one coming the other direction, that pisses me off to no end.

Re:I want one! (2, Informative)

SuperDry (636335) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403335)

They have been illegal in California for at least 20 years.

Re:I want one! (1)

SenatorTreason (640653) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403350)

Hate traffic? If possible, don't get involved in it. Carpool, ride a bike, ride a bus, or *gasp* walk. A little infared transmitter isn't the answer to traffic issues. The answer is less cars.

Looks like a problem... (0)

AnnieCoulter (720399) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403207)

Now that these devices are out there, we can't account for all of them, the same way we can't account for all those WMDs in Iraq. A solution might be to change the systems to use a different authentication method so that only authorized users could change the lights.

Re:Looks like a problem... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403270)

Reminder - in the real world, retrofitting any system with any capability is a costly enterprise.


In this particular case, consider the cost of developing a secure authentication system with the ability to revoke access (negligible), manufacture of the devices (high), updating all traffic lights in the us to use this system (intense) and supplying all personal in need of such a device (very intense) and retraining said personal (intense) and maintaining this service (blacklist stolen devices etc) (negligible).

Re:Looks like a problem... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403323)

Yeah, maybe they can change the algorithm daily or something and broadcast the new code via the trunking radio system that emergency vehicles allready use.

Deja Vu... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403209)

It was the same black cat; I've seen this topic before I swear!

Is this a dupe? (-1, Troll)

rolocroz (625853) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403214)

I think it is. [slashdot.org]

Re:Is this a dupe? (3, Insightful)

NewWaveNet (584716) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403251)

You may note that this story is a follow up about how legislatures are pissed. But then again, you may note that you didn't read the story before commenting.

I Wish... (3, Funny)

robbyjo (315601) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403215)

Gee... I wish I had a similar device for "See it early" Slashdot post... ;P

Re:I Wish... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403269)

Can someone PLEASE explain the ending of the Matrix Revolutions to me?? Neo and Trinity are dead, and the Matrix still exists?? WTF??

Re:I Wish... (1)

toddhunter (659837) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403284)

You can already get them. I have one installed on my computer. When I pressed it, I was taken to here [slashdot.org] (slashdot)

Re:I Wish... (1)

ozzmosis (99513) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403291)

you can [slashdot.org]

Re:I Wish... (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403406)

Wow, imagine a beowulf cluster of these!!!

(ducks)...

-B

uh, this is dupe right? (0, Redundant)

Agent Orange (34692) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403218)

http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/27/003625 4&mode=nested&tid=126&tid=137&tid=159&tid= 186

although the previous story was from the detroit times...

The Yahoo story even references the detroit times story:

" In Michigan, a story about the devices in the Detroit News last week prompted state Sen. Tony Stamas (R) to promise that he would introduce legislation to make it illegal to possess such equipment."

Re:uh, this is dupe right? (1)

skizrule (701743) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403231)

There is no such thing as the Detroit Times. The two major newspapers are the Detroit Free Press and the Detroit News; the story you referenced is from the Detroit News.

Re:uh, this is dupe right? (1)

Agent Orange (34692) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403299)

*shrug* close enough, especially for someone who's on the other side of the world. oh well, should read a bit more carefully next time...

LiveYiff: Sept. 21, 2003 (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403222)

Players:
Cybil: Female Biped Dragonair morph
DrGamez: Male Charmeleon morph

-----

* DrGamez is sitting on the bed smiling as she walks in, "Heya there..."

* Cybil walks over to the bed, returning his smile. "Why hello...."

* DrGamez pats a part on the bed next to him, "Come on up here, its more comfortable."

* Cybil nods softly, moving onto the bed next to him. "Yes... very comfortable... and warm."

* DrGamez scoots next to her and wraps his tail around, not worring about the tailflame, he looks at her and nuzzles, "Hope you don't mind the 'out of the blueness' of all this attention."

* Cybil smiles softly, nuzzling back and wrapping her own tail around him. "Of course not.... it's very nice to be with you, whenever, and wherever."

* DrGamez keeps nuzzling before lowering down, and kissing her neck, giving it a slight nibble. He moves his head back up to her ear and whispers, "Then you won't mind if we have a bit more fun than cuddling will you?"

* Cybil shivers slightly at the nibble and kiss on her neck, and smiles, whispering back, "Not at all... not at all."

* DrGamez smiles and reaches a claw over, gently rubbing her side as he moves his mouth back down to kiss and suck at her neck again, moving only slightly between each kiss.

* Cybil mrrshivers happily at the attention her neck is recieving, putting her head back a little with half-lidded eyes. She moves a hand up to stroke the side of his head gently, that being one of the few things she can think of at the moment.

* DrGamez moves his rubbing claw up to her chest and pushes her back a bit, guiding her to lay down.

* Cybil lays down, her tailtip twiching slightly out of anticipation. She continues to shiver and mrrr happily.

* DrGamez smiles and keeps his kissing along her neck before slowly moving them down the center of her body, letting his hot tongue leave a small trail of wetness.

* Cybil moanshivers as a hot tongue moves down the center of her body, leaving a wonderful sensation behind. She merely lies there, mrrring and the like, as if she was in a trance of sorts.

* DrGamez keeps moving down until he gets to her tummy. Slowing his kissing and licking down he reaches his claw between her legs and slowly pushes outwards, wanting her to spead them just a small bit.

* Cybil complies, opening her legs almost immediately. The light kisses and licks are the culprit of her mrrring and shivering state, and she loves it.

* DrGamez smiles and moves even lower, nearing her crotch. He climbs over one of her legs and adjusts himself, taking a whiff of her heavy scent. With an instinctual mrr he breath a short blast of hot air over the slit, "Someone seems a little needy..."

* Cybil groans softly as the hot air touches against her damp opening, tailtip tapping lightly against the bed in approval. She places a hand on her chest, rubbing lightly there, eyes now completely closed.

* DrGamez chuckles, "I'll take that as a yes." Quickly he extnded his tongue and gave the opening a long lick along the entire length of it, his claws resting on the inside of her thighs, lightly spreading them out farther.

* Cybil arcs her back a little, pushing upwards into the lick, moaning softly. Her legs spread out slowly in accordance with the light push of the claws, while the rubbing on her chest gets a little faster.

* DrGamez slides his arms underneath, wrapping them around Cybil's legs and pulls his face closer, giving more long hard licks, still not penetrating as he tries to drive her lust upwards even higher.

* Cybil begins to moan a little more audibly now, arcing her back every now and again from sudden surges of pleasure. Her lust bubbles up like a pressure cooker, slowly reaching that point of no return...

* DrGamez gets extremley aroused hearing Cybil moan from the pleasure. He wraps his lips around her slit and gives it a warm kiss, teasing her even more. Feeling enough was enough he extended his longer tongue deep into her entrance as far as he could, making sure to heat his mouth up as hot as he could, knowing she could take it.

* Cybil feels the sudden spike in temperature, and that, combined with the sudden "intruder", makes her moan out in sudden pleasure. She immediately starts rubbing her chest fiercely, groaning in happiness and pleasure.

* DrGamez darts his long tongue in and out, keeping his grip on Cybil's legs tight. He pushed his tongue deep, then back out a few more times before finding his partner's clit, which he began to flick and tease with no remorse.

* Cybil writhes in pure ecstacy, back arcing out of a reflex as her clit is teased and flicked by a tongue. She momentarily stop rubbing her chest as the wave of pleasure washes over her, soon starting right back up again.

* DrGamez gives Cybil a few more harsh laps, before suckling on her opening once again. Wanting to just give her a bit of pleasure at the moment he stops and lifts his head up, licking his lips and smiling. He crawls over to her side, now with an aparent blulge in his boxers. "Well now, how about we have a bit more fun?"

* Cybil opens her eyes a little, and smiles softly, breathing a little hard. She reaches out a hand, slipping a couple finger down past the elastic waistband of the boxers, slowly pulling them down. "Oh... yes... gladly..."

* DrGamez smirks as his boxers are pulled off, his erection standing before the both of them. "I know you have a reputation for having some.. interesting fun," he thinks for a moment, "You mind trying anything like that this time?"

* Cybil smirks as well, letting slip a little giggle. "Well... I've been known for a lot of different types of fun... specify for me." She licks her lips slowly.

* DrGamez kind of blushes a bit, smiling, "Anything with some bondage would be nice..."

* Cybil blushes a little as well, smirking and getting off the bed for a second, coming back with a collar soon after. "This should work nicely.... for now."

* DrGamez watches Cybil and looks at the collar, smiling and wondering in anticipation.

* Cybil thinks for a moment.... then snaps her fingers. "That will work..." she says to herself. "Now, lay down for me...."

* DrGamez nods and does asked and lays down, supporting himself with his elbows, watching Cybil intently still.

* Cybil moves forward onto the bed, latching the collar on around his neck with a smile. She places a hand on his chest, and pushes back, wanting him completely on hisback.

* DrGamez lets the collar be affixed around his neck, kind of liking the feeling of it. He lets his elbows down and lays copmletley on his back, now staring back up at her.

* Cybil smirks, reaching over to the sides to grab something, then holds it in front of his face; four pairs of silken cord. She then uses the cork to affix each hand and footto a different corner of the bed, before leaning over him with a smile and kissing his chest.

* DrGamez smiles as he is tied down to the bed, pulling a bit on each restraint finding that he really couldn't get out if he wanted too.

* Cybil places gentle kisses down past his navel, eventually placing a kiss atop the head of his erection. She smirks, and places several kisses there, followed by a slow lick from base to tip.

* DrGamez grunts as he is kissed down passed his waist, until he feels her lips on the tip of his member, making him sigh. The sigh was shortlived however, as soon a deep murr follows, his member getting a very pleasurable lick.

* Cybil gives a few more licks, each varying in speed for an increase in pleasure, before gripping the member in one hand and taking it into her mouth, sucking softly. Her free hand keeps a grip on the leash, which she gives a light tug on every now and again.

* DrGamez moans as he is licked and sucked, feeling his body being tugged now and then by the leash. He opens his eyes to look down to watch his pleasure, her wet mouth sending deep waves of pleasure through his member.

* Cybil occasionally pulls her mouth from his length to move her tongue up and down the side, or to flick across the very tip, only to eventually take it back into her mouth, moving up and down on it with a slight fervor.

* DrGamez moans outloud, struggling a bit against the restraints as he arches his back. He almost whimpers as she removes her mouth, only to feel a quick flick and back to the bobbing, causing him to groan, "Gnnmm... Cybil.... uhn.."

* Cybil pulls her mouth from the length, giving it a long lick as though it were a lollipop. She gives the saliva-coated length a few good strokes before holding it straight up, holding herself above it and dipping down a little, slipping the head of it in before pulling back up, as a type of torture, in a way.

* DrGamez grunts as she stops licking, only to watch her start to lower her body onto his shaft. He mrrs only to notice she pulled her body back up, causing him to whimper a bit, his body aching for pleasure.

* Cybil smirks at him, giving a fanged grin before repeating her motions several times, before deciding it's finally enough and slowly, very slowly, lowers herself completely onto him.

* DrGamez pulls against the restraints, wanting to just thrust into her body as she teases him. He looks up to see the grin, and gave a lustful smile back, only to have it melt away as his member is soon engulfed in the wet pleasure, "Ohmmm...."

* Cybil gets half-lidded eyes, beginning a slow tempo of moving up and down, using partial control of her thighs to flex and tighten herself on the downstroke, letting go as she goes upwards. She feels the warmth of the member as she drops down, and shivers as she goes back up.

* DrGamez slightly pushes his hips upwards into his partner, murring deeply as he feels her tighten around him. As she drops down he closes his eyes and raises his body tempurature sharply, hoping to catch her by suprise.

* Cybil moans loudly as there's a sharp spike in the temperature as she drops, making her sit there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of warmth against her inner walls, before increasing the tempo sharply, moving rather quickly now.

* DrGamez pulls against the retraints harsh, now moaning louder with each of her decents. He opens his eyes and watches her in a lustfull glance, his body alive with pleasure, making sure to keep his tempurature as high as he could.

* Cybil opens her eyes, returning the lustfull glance with one of her own, feeling the pleasure well up inside of her like a pressure cooker. The tempo increases to an amazing pace, as she rises and falls as fast as she possibly can, feeling herself dance the fine line of ecstacy...

* DrGamez grits his teeth together as the tempo was beginning to become to much for his body. "Oh... god..." he moaned out, holding back for as long as he could, now thrusting up as best he could into her body.

* Cybil could feel it. She could feel the line become passed. In a flurry of pleasure, she let out a moan of pure ecstacy, pulling rather harshly on the leash as she hit her climax, sending her fluids down like the rush of a river.

* DrGamez feels his neck pulled foward as he watches Cybil melt into her orgasm, the quick yank a bit too much for his body. With a loud roar his body explodes into his climax, letting his steaming hot seed go into the dragonaire's body, pulling as hard as he could against the restraints.

* Cybil pushes herself down against him soon after she feels him hit his climax, panting heavily as she feels the seed flow into her, making her moan in turn. She holds him tightly, panting and giving the occasional whimpermurr, letting both of their climaxes melt down together.

* DrGamez starts to pant heavily, feeling her juice run down onto his body. He nuzzles against her as best he could, being tied up, now recucing his bodies tempurature to a comforatbly warm tempurature.

* Cybil nuzzles against him softly, still panting a little, reaching up a hand to cut through the silked rope with a claw, doing that to the other hand as well, then taking him in a loving embrace. "Thank.... you...." she pants out, giving him a little kiss.

* DrGamez uses his new freedom to quickly wrap his arms around Cybil and hug lovingly, slowly rubbing her back and smiling, returning the kiss, just laying there with eyes closed - happy.

* Cybil slowly drifts off, feeling contented and happy with him. She gives him a light nuzzle before yawning, breaths calm and eyes closed completely.

Can someone tell me... (5, Insightful)

NewWaveNet (584716) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403223)

why these were legal for non-emergency sale in the first place?

Re:Can someone tell me... (4, Informative)

pixel.jonah (182967) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403234)

FCC controls RF, nobody controls light (IR)

Re:Can someone tell me... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403256)

Isn't green patented?

Unlike England (1, Interesting)

Ungrounded Lightning (62228) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403343)

FCC controls RF, nobody controls light (IR)

Unlike England, where the British Post Office (?) (the regulator of radio in Britain) controls electromagnetic waves all the way up through gamma if they carry a communication channel.

Seems some "filthy capitalist" had a bright idea (so to speak) for breaking the BBC's monopoly on broadcast radio: He installed an infrared laser in London pointed straight up, modulated it with a copy of the FM broadcast spectrum built locally, and started to sell receivers rent slots in the modulation.

The light from the (invisible) laser scattered off the clouds/particulates/"clear air" and illuminated the city. The receiver consisted of a photocell to mount on the window sill and point at the pillar of invisible light, connected to a converter that you'd strap to the back of a radio and hook to the antenna connection. Presto: One complete broadcast band full of commercial stations.

Of course the BBC squalked and parlement extended the range of frequencies the BPO could regulate all the way up to infinity. End of enterprise.

Re:Can someone tell me... (5, Insightful)

Rude Turnip (49495) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403242)

Because things are legal in the US until they're made illegal, instead of the other way around.

Re:Can someone tell me... (2, Insightful)

NewWaveNet (584716) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403272)

Yeah, but a ban on devices that have the sole purpose of changing lights doesn't seem like something they should sit around and wait for companies to start selling to the public. It's not like they didn't know it was going to happen.

Dupe? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403225)

This is a few weeks old...

whoa deja vu (1)

crabpeople (720852) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403226)

how similar were they... was it the same cat [slashdot.org] ?

whoes this new guy simoniker anyways...

Slashdot dupes make users see red (0, Offtopic)

revmoo (652952) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403229)

"According to a Yahoo/Washington Post article: 'It sounds like a suffering computer's dream come true: a desktop device that duplicates slashdot articles at the touch of a button. Police, fire and rescue vehicles have had access to such equipment for years, but now the devices are becoming available to ordinary hackers thanks to advances in technology and a little help from the Internet. Safety advocates are outraged, and news accounts in Michigan last week led to politicians there seeking a ban on the gadgets'."

Make all lights go red (1, Insightful)

Dancin_Santa (265275) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403232)

Problem solved.

Chrome Box (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403233)

The concept of the so called Chrome Box is very old news. Personally, I had always avoided building/using one primarily because of the safety implications plus I assumed such a device would be illegal for public use.

If you want one (4, Informative)

Anubis333 (103791) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403235)

They are on sale here [themirt.com]

slashdotted (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403296)

the site appears to be slashdotted...here's a mirror of the content [ackbar.org]

Re:slashdotted (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403419)

I recognize that domain. How long did you set the delay for on the anti-slash.org mirror tool?

300$ ?!?!? (1)

Unknown Poltroon (31628) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403304)

Dude, when are you in that big a hurry and NOT on the way to a fire already?

Democratic intersections? (3, Interesting)

smonner (468465) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403237)

"Can you imagine the nightmare our roads would be if everybody had one?"

Couldn't the opposite be true? Maybe the light would stay green longer for whichever side had more traffic? Ideally it could create "democratic" intersections and reduce the amount of time you spend stopped with no traffic going the other way. I'm sure it wouldn't actually work, but wouldn't it be cool if it did?

Re:Democratic intersections? (1)

sahonen (680948) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403267)

Would using IR detectors instead of weight sensors at traffic lights be cheaper? And how would the light know if you're turning?

Re:Democratic intersections? (4, Informative)

seinman (463076) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403317)

Some lights have video cameras on them for this very purpose. They're programmed to tell how far back the cars are lined up based on the contrast between a car and the road. They have the added benefit of catching those who run red lights.

Re:Democratic intersections? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403415)

The detectors are just loops of wire, it measures cars through inductance not weight. So no wouldn't be cheaper.

Re:Democratic intersections? (4, Interesting)

Creepy Crawler (680178) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403346)

What's funny is this is the exact same problem time-slice managers on OS'es have. Either let one side stay for an extraordinate amount of time and take few hits on switching, or give little slices which takes a big hit on swapping?

The best roads made are ones done by expert traffic engineers.. In the city I live near, there's 9 stop lights in a 3 lane (one way) road. The posted speed is 25MPH. However, if you go 22.5MPH, every one of them will be green,. Usualy there's an idiot or 2 that burns rubber out of one intersection, while I barely cruise up. By the time I hit the next stoplight, it's already changed.

Re:Democratic intersections? (4, Funny)

digitalsushi (137809) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403403)

i do something like that in really congested traffic. like, 15 mph on the interstate. i'll go 14. i'll end up with 500 feet clear in front of me, and people in the left lane will splash back into the buffer in front of me. i never hit the breaks once. it takes about 8 seconds to cover the buffer space to catch up, and sure enough the person behind me is always absolutely livid that i decided to let a space build up. and most of the time, they cut the person off to the left of me, cut close to me, flip me off in the mirror, peel out, and dart ahead. oy ve

Re:Democratic intersections? (1)

IM6100 (692796) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403416)

My experienc with well-timed lights is that there are one or two idiots who burn rubber between the lights, so that if you travel the proper speed to catch all the greens, it doesn't matter, because tard-boy who sped to the red light, is sitting there stopped at it, blocking me.

Re:Democratic intersections? (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403353)

Good concept, except these things instantly turn the light green for you and red for the other direction. There's no voting system, and what if someone has a juiced up repeater going off... better yet wouldn't it be great to just sit on the side of the road near an intersection and f*ck sh*t up?

Re:Democratic intersections? (1)

Eukaryote (93920) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403412)

This would be an example of democracy just how it works in America. The rich people that can afford the traffic light changers would get the light changed for them...

In America, the people with the money get the votes to preserve that... Sound familiar?

Re:Democratic intersections? (1)

spankalee (598232) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403424)

Interesting idea.

But you will run into the same problem that our winner take all style democracy has. Sure we have majority rule, but we don't represent the minority well enough. The side with less traffice needs to get a chance to go through the intersection too. Sure, eventually the side with a red light might build up enough of a line to get a green, but how many hours might that take for a very uneven intersection?

Proportional representation is better in politics, and mabye in traffic too. Let the light stay green for a time proportional to that sides' traffic.

A system that gave a higher weight to car pools and buses would be interesting too.

Of course light timing is more complex than giving the higher traffic side more green. City traffic patterns are shaped through light timing.

This is happening a lot in my city (1, Troll)

the man with the pla (710711) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403248)

I'm a resident of Chesterfield, Missouri. Chesterfield is a rich suburb of St. Louis. I work as a crossing guard at a local elementary school...I have seen, without fail, 3 or 4 cars that cause the lights to change when they approach. Chesterfield is a great community, don't get me wrong, but I think there is a set of schlimeles out there that think way too much of their wealth and are corrupting the system.

Re:This is happening a lot in my city (1)

xxTYBALTxx (721636) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403293)

You sound like Bill O'Reilly. If these apperatus cost $10,000, they'd be perfect.

Yes, but..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403249)

....can it run Linux?

flash demo (4, Insightful)

glassesmonkey (684291) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403263)

MIRT, 3M Opticom(R), and Tomar Strobecom(R) traffic signal preemption are optically-based communications systems and the main brands of these systems.

Clearly this is illegal (or soon will be) and stupid waste of the public's time and money to refit this lights to stop this silly company. FAC of America located out of Minn. runs websites such as TheMIRT [themirt.com] and Guns'N Stuff [gunsnstuff.net] The are allowing people to be resellers for $300/unit.

There is a flash "demo" of the MIRT in action here [themirt.com]

Great (0, Troll)

kid-noodle (669957) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403264)

I already refuse to drive because cars are so dangerous, what we need a is yet another tool to assist people in driving dangerously. I was pissed off enough about those bastard speed camera detectors.

I'm a fucking commie. Long live public transport.

Re:Great (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403276)

I'm a fucking commie

Hey, at least you're fucking. .500 ain't bad.

Solution is to have every car installed.... (3, Interesting)

eggsurplus (631231) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403278)

Have every vehicle installed with a device that interacts with a Traffic control light so that it would act like a load balancer. If no one else is by the light then a vehicle would get through without having to stop. Otherwise the light would see how many requests it is getting and let the appropriate group go.

Problem... (2, Insightful)

herrvinny (698679) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403363)

Then what prevents someone from installing 5-6 devices on one car and skewing the requests the light gets?

dont some use strobe detectors? (4, Interesting)

jeffy124 (453342) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403279)

i was told by a traffic engineering friend of mine that there are detectors out there that look for the strobe lights that apart of a emergency vehicle's blinkinlights, and change the light colors accordingly. I would assume that normal headlights are distinguishable from emergency lights (otherwise the detectors would be useless).

Are these the same detectors discussed in the article?

Re:dont some use strobe detectors? (2, Interesting)

sbszine (633428) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403340)

In NSW our police cars now have only strobe lights on the roof -- perhaps this is why?

Re:dont some use strobe detectors? (5, Insightful)

forevermore (582201) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403344)

I was going to comment on this, too; but more along the lines of "changing lights isn't NEW". In the '90's, it was common to see strobe detectors attached to traffic light poles all over the place, but as I understand it, so many civilians purchased devices that would hit the proper strobe frequencies that that the cities had to abandon use of the devices. Sometimes similar technology is used, but instead of turning the lights green, it sets ALL lights in the intersection to red, and emergency vehicles just drive on the wrong side of the road (this has safety concerns, and doesn't seem to be practiced very often).

Honestly, with the availability of technologies like bluetooth and other encrypted wireless technologies, it shouldn't be hard to just encode a daily/weekly-changing code into the signals and give it out to emergency vehicles as needed.

That, and teaching drivers how to behave around those flashing lights (ie. pull over to the RIGHT if you are in the US - I've seen too many people on the freeway pull left, only to block an ambulance that was trying to get around traffic by driving on the shoulder).

Re:dont some use strobe detectors? (5, Insightful)

jeff_d_schneider (697057) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403414)

Amen!

I'm actually sitting at the fire station tonight pulling a duty shift for the volunteer squad.

You have NO idea how much it would save in time and safety concerns if everyone would pull to the RIGHT (in the US). G

lad to know there's at least one person out there who gets it!

Re:dont some use strobe detectors? (1)

seanadams.com (463190) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403348)

strobe lights are very bright and very fast - there's no filament - it's firing a high voltage charge through a gas (argon?). Think camera flash vs switching on a household incandescent or halogen lamp. On the receiving end the waveform is much sharper and easy to distinguish.

Re:dont some use strobe detectors? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403365)

belive the gas is Xenon

Re:dont some use strobe detectors? (1)

davidc (91400) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403397)

Read the FAQ on mirt.com - it clearly states that regular headlight flashing is ineffectual because of the timing involved. Incandescent flashers can't make the frequency or waveforms necessary (see other reply in this thread).

holy crap! (1)

Joe the Lesser (533425) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403294)

I wish to purchase the following number of units:* @ $299.00 ea.

I think taking an extra five minutes to get around is better than dishing out 300 bucks!

Bad, bad bad! (5, Insightful)

roninmagus (721889) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403307)

These devices could be contrasted with radar/laser detectors.

I think the radar/laser detectors are fine, but the devices which allow people to actually change the system should not be allowed.

Radar/Laser detectors serve a good purpose. Yes, they allow people to "undermine" the law by getting around traffic tickets (if you're alert,) but they also slow down traffic when an officer is nearby. The people with the radar detectors slow down when an officer is running radar nearby, and therefore drive safer because they don't want a ticket.

However, devices like the ones coming now actually affect the system rather than circumvent it. My having a radar detector does not affecy anyone but me. But one that allows me to change traffic lights in my favor affects the other people on the road!

This is all IMHO.

Re:Bad, bad bad! (1)

Texas Rose on Lava L (712928) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403378)

My having a radar detector does not affecy anyone but me.

If you crash into me while doing 100mph while the cops aren't around, that affects me.

Don't FIX the vulnerability - just BAN exploits! (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403308)

This kind of security thinking is akin to hiding your head in the sand. FIX THE PROBLEM! Don't legislate bans on exploits. DESIGN SUCH THINGS SECURELY IN THE FIRST PLACE! It wouldn't be that hard to have developed it with a cryptographically secure access code system in the first place. Sheesh!

It was cryptographically secure. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403349)

Unfortunately, the key was only one bit long.

its likely untrue ... I hope (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403311)

I lack hard data, this is all real old (like childhood pre-driving) memory, but my understanding is that this was origionally done way back when (like 60s maybe?)using optical sensors and the pointable floodlight on cop cars. It was abused then and the solution was to switch to to some sort of radio thing and take out the green option, simply turnning the light 4 way red. This did not impede an ememrgency vehicle who was the only thing supposed to use it anyway. So I'm thinkng hoax/urban legend real hard. If its true though, screwing with traffic lights in a busy intersection is gonna kill somoeone right fast. Manslaughter/depraved indiference perhaps? This is unfunny.

I know it's a dup but... (3, Insightful)

Lord Kano (13027) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403318)

I'll speak on this again.

While these politicians are at it, why not mandate fuel governors for all cars to prevent them from speeding?

Why not mandate RFID for everyone so that the police can tell where you are when you're a suspect in a crime?

I can understand making people responsible for using such a device, but banning them won't do any more good than those states that banned radar detectors.

LK

Re:I know it's a dup but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403355)

Can radar detectors cause two people to have a head-on collision? Jackass.

Re:I know it's a dup but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403400)

Can radar detectors cause two people to have a head-on collision?

If you cause your light to turn green, and the traffic coming from the other direction has a green light, you won't have a head on, because you're on DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE ROAD!

Jackass.

Quake players will rule traffic intersections (0)

Triquint (683143) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403324)

When everyone has this, the one who clicks fastest gets through!

And I have to get through before the other guy switches the lights back!!

Imagine gangs of trolls mass switching the lights to get through cities quickly!!

Or permanently blockading districts by having the lights out of it permanently on red!!

Space weapons and DOS traffic attack (0)

Triquint (683143) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403352)

What is the range of these things? Could an enemy country mount a space based Denial of Service attack on American auto traffic?? Could put all those Internet based attacks in the shade.

WOOO WOOOOOO!!! (1)

AussieBastard (587090) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403331)

This is the perfect item for Bubb Rubb. Now he can fly through traffic lights "WOOO WOOOOOOO'ing" and everyone will just assume it's the paramedics.

Simple solution... (2, Insightful)

stubear (130454) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403336)

...have the change event turn all the lights in the intersection go red. Emergency vehicles will allowed to pass through the intersection AND the intersection will be cleared of any vehicles. Who would want a device that turns lights at an intersection all red? Problem solved.

Re:Simple solution... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403362)

"Who would want a device that turns lights at an intersection all red?"

Try the millions of teens who watch 'Jackass' all day.

Re:Simple solution... (2, Informative)

KillerBob (217953) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403374)

Except that the emergency vehicles are often caught behind traffic when they trip lights like that. Until weenies stop using the lane on the right that peters out 15m past the intersection to get past traffic at red lights, the emergency vehicles would be pretty much stuck if they aren't at the front of the line when the light goes red....

As you know, them being at the front of the line means they wouldn't need to trip the light... they just need to put the flashers on, wait for traffic to stop, and go. :)

I'm all for hackin', but... (5, Insightful)

mooface (674033) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403341)

...this is probably the first time I've thought to myself: why don't people just leave this alone? It's really a public safety issue, and there is no real reason anyone outside of police, fire, etc have to have this device.

It's not amusing. It's just wrong.

solution (2, Insightful)

ratfynk (456467) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403360)

simply make the traffic controls go red in all directions only like in Canada. EOP Alot of pissed of motorists but at least emergency vehicles will still have the right of way. Totally UnAmerican idea though it is too simple and effective! The people who manufacture and sell the devices will just go out of business like they should.

It's boring already... (-1, Flamebait)

Gadzinka (256729) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403367)

It's boring already.

Another security-through-obscurity device got broken, and what is the reaction of powers-that-be? Outlaw the devices that let people get around this measures. You could as well outlaw crime.

Will I ever see the taxpayers' money spent on good security, that is uncrackable by insiders? I mean, I could design several orders of magnitude better system while eating pizza, and I'm just stupid sysadm/programmer.

Robert

PS I know they did outlaw crime ;) Did they stop it?

Phrack did it first (3, Interesting)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403369)

Before I ever read it on slashdot, my friends and I were hacking traffic lights thanks to phrack. It used to take me 25 minutes to get to work, but now it only takes 15 :P

It also tells you how to get into the main traffic light control system, though you have to go through a bunch of backdoors into a VAX system. Imagine if Al-Qaeda managed to do that, though...

http://www.phrack.org/phrack/60/p60-0x0e.txt [phrack.com]

Quote: (0)

Stonan (202408) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403370)

"...news accounts in Michigan last week led to politicians there seeking a ban on the gadgets'."

Thus expanding the underground economy.

(Not that there's anything wrong with that...)

And I thought... (1)

bicho (144895) | more than 10 years ago | (#7403383)

... only Automan could do it.
Now all I need is a magic blinking cursor that will built anything I might need out of thin air and electricity ^^
I have always wanted a car that can turn 90 degress in an instan an a super speed.

Nice Try.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7403395)

Trying to cover that dupe.
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