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What's the Worst Job Posting You've Seen?

Cliff posted more than 10 years ago | from the fun-for-a-Friday dept.

Linux Business 1214

Kickstart70 asks: "Recently myself and a number of friends of mine who work or worked in IT jobs have been remarking on absolutely horrible job postings for low-level IT jobs paying small change. It seems the headhunters and employers are still wanting knowledge in everything, at least one degree but preferably two, and want to keep employees on minimal wages (in the job listing linked, the wage is in Canadian dollars). Is this common everywhere? What's the worst job posting you have seen?"

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Don't forget... (-1)

SCO$699FeeTroll (695565) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477960)

...to pay your $699 licensing fee you cock-smoking teabaggers.

Re:Don't forget... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478005)

I read Slashdot, but I'm not a teabagger...

Re:Don't forget... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478110)

also, my little online store that I run from the basement does not yet belong to Fortune 1000, and I called SCO and wanted to pay, but was told no

Interesting requirements... (4, Funny)

hendridm (302246) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477964)

> WINNT is nice to have.

Don't do it! The organization is clearly run by crazies.

My favorite part:

Software List: Some or all would be preferred.

I mean, damn, $17-$19 is pretty good for Help Desk, even if it is bilingual, but anyone who is familiar with all of the items on that list should make more than God himself. Of course, the poster of this probably works for Kelly Services anyway.

Re:Interesting requirements... (2, Funny)

shaitand (626655) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478026)

I dunno, $17-$19 CANADIAN???

That's like... (4, Funny)

siskbc (598067) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478054)

I dunno, $17-$19 CANADIAN???

...$0.37 American these days, right? You can do better than that making shoes in Thailand.

Re:That's like... (2, Informative)

xgamer04 (248962) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478091)

Actually, the Canadian dollar is rising against the USD... when I traveled to Canada last march, I got about 1.6 canadian dollars, and now it's about 1.3

Re:Interesting requirements... (5, Insightful)

cbeaudry (706335) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478087)

You have to take into consideration that 17-19$ canadian, for a level 1 tech support job, is actually a good offer.

17-19$ Goes a long way in Edmonton (I beleive thats where the job is) compared to lets say Vancouver or Toronto where you'd need at least 25$/hour.

You guys have to remember, you will have a better living standard with 17$/hour Canadian in Edmonton, than if your doing 30$/hour USD in Sillicon Valley.

Re:Interesting requirements... (1)

gl4ss (559668) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478053)

well.. they get what they ask for.

mainly somebody who has a degree and is willing to bullshit/smoothtalk that he knows enough of those apps and has a wonderful personality. like, who would lie about his personality?

i mean, one who has used computers for a long time could probably use some/most of those progs without seeing them beforehand too(enough to seem like a professional in using them in some cases too).

but the list is just hilarious.. also the personality requirements are hilarious too-"we want you to be perfect", well, that goes without saying, but saying it like that makes them look really froggery(like you'd need a person with bad people skills.. the same goes for the software list, of course it would be nice to have somebody who knows all of them but it's IMPOSSIBLE, so they should have cut it down to just few that really matter, maybe combine all the autocad products into one too & such).

Real posting... (5, Funny)

Doug Merritt (3550) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478115)

This was a real posting to a job list a few months ago:

> From: Jenny Richards [mailto:..........@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Friday, May 09, 2003 11:11 AM
> To: .........@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [.......] Entry level programmer in Duluth, MN
>
> Location : Duluth, MN
> Term : 1 year
> Rate : $5.10 / hour
>
> Requirements:
>
> - 21+ years of J2EE Development.
> - Fluent Sanskrit.
> - PhD in Computer Science and 17th Century French Poetry.
> - Must have had 4 or more products that sold 1,000,000 copies.
> - Must be a member of the Mayflower Society.
>
> Locals to Duluth given preference.
> All requirements are mandatory, so don't waste my time by sending my
> your pathetic resume unless you're a perfect fit.

It was real posting to a real job list, which I thought was very funny, but the poster got banned from the list for their sense of humor.

Re:Interesting requirements... (1)

wankledot (712148) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478073)

That's US$13. $26k/year. That's not "pretty good" for helpdesk, unless you're talking about a complete entry-level newb job.

Re:Interesting requirements... (1)

jwhitener (198343) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478084)

"I mean, damn, $17-$19 is pretty good for Help Desk, even if it is bilingual, "

Uhmm... 18 dollars an hour sucks. Spanish/English translators in my hospital get about 40 dollars an hour. Thats just straight translation. Of course, medical translation requires certification, its a technical translation degree. However, I see no difference between technically demanding medical translation and technically demanding computer translation (lots of factors here, but that software list indicates that these folks have a pretty obscure software base to support).

That job posting wants people who are both bilingual, and who know a software list thats way larger than most people would experience getting a masters in computer science. Not to mention that the software in question isn't very common.

If you are bilingual, working in a technical profession, and making 18 bucks an hour, you should feel cheated.

Re:Interesting requirements... (1)

thenextpresident (559469) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478133)

But in Canada, being bilingual is normal. French and English speakers are common. And $17-$19 CAD is far above minimum wage.

My Own (4, Funny)

jhouserizer (616566) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477966)

The worst I've seen?

The job posting to find the person who will replace me.

Re:My Own (5, Funny)

Nucleon500 (628631) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478051)

Worse than that?

Finding out you're unqualified.

Re:My Own (1)

TedCheshireAcad (311748) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478062)

Office Space
"...So what would you say you DO here?"

Re:My Own (5, Funny)

gmack (197796) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478071)

Yeah.. When I quit my first job in montreal after the place took a direction other than what was on the job description(they wanted to do porn and I didn't) They posted a job asking for my qualifications but expected to about $12 CDN an hour.

One day I'm overhearing the receptionist talking to a prospective sysadmin calling for my job "well sir.. before we process your resume.. do you have a problem with porn? how about animal porn? ohh well ok then. thanks anyways"

Glad I left? yep! That place and Ralsky deserved each other.

Re:My Own (1)

segmond (34052) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478120)

So apply to it!

Easy (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7477967)

Poopsmith [homestarrunner.com]

Re:Easy (1)

jhouserizer (616566) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477984)

But the Poopsmith has always seemed to like his job....

Worst Post? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7477968)

first post

Who'd take that crappy job? (3, Funny)

grub (11606) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477971)


I count 163 things (well, wc -l counted it) on that list of things they want prospects to know. Obviously that job involves too much work and would interfere with reading /.

Anyone that applies is obviously beyond geekdom and is to be pitied.

Requirements that end up in a checksum failure... (5, Funny)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477972)

The worst ones I've seen are ones that require you to have gone back in time in order to have enough experience with the software they want you to use:

"Requirements: 5 years experience with Windows 2000..."

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (3, Funny)

t0qer (230538) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478000)

I'm being nitpicky about your commment I know. But you're lack of understanding into the space time continium and the 4th dimension requires it.

"Requirements: 5 years experience with Windows 2000..."


Ok if one wanted 5 years of experience with win2k, they would need to go forward in time, to say 2005. Not backwards, because win2k was not created yet.

Again my apologies for being a nitpick.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (1)

terrymr (316118) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478012)

No - you would quite obviously take a copy of windows 2000 back in time with you to 1998 in order to have 5 years experience by 2003.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (1)

WTFmonkey (652603) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478013)

You could learn it for two years, hop in a time machine and go back to 2000, learn for a another three years, and BAM, good-to-go.

Of course, if you can convince your boss of that youprobably don't want to work for him anyways...

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (1)

hawkbug (94280) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478029)

Not to nitpick your comments.... but yeah, Windows 2000 was created 5 years ago. I used it in beta stages in 98 and then the final was released in 99 for retail.

I know, I'm being dumb and offtopic, but you started it :)

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (1)

sk8king (573108) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478031)

Actually, going backwards works out too. He just gets to repeat 2-3 years which will accumulate to 5+ years experience.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (1)

Alkaiser (114022) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478004)

Seriously, it was like right after C# had come out and I started seeing all kinds of jobs requiring 3-5 years of C# experience. When you get an idiot to write up the reqs, and interview the people...you get idiots.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (0)

sonoluminescence (709395) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478138)

Take a look at your HR department.
You won't be short of choice.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478011)

Possibly a developer of Windows 2000 could claim that...

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (0, Troll)

shaitand (626655) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478050)

You think they spent 2yrs developing win2k? Dunno that might be pushing it, 2months, maybe i'd give ya. But 2yrs? come on.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (1)

ceejayoz (567949) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478086)

windows development timeline [directions...rosoft.com]

Windows 2000: 42 months - a little less than four years

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478148)

Howard Dean is a retarded butt monkey.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (2, Insightful)

bert33 (655799) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478023)

When I was looking I actually told recruiter this. "It's impossible to have that much J2EE experience." Supposedly the companies do this so they can say they could not fill the position and off-shore it.

Re:Requirements that end up in a checksum failure. (4, Insightful)

Anne Thwacks (531696) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478060)

Its fairly simple - they actually want to employ a dishonest person.

Several good sites (3, Informative)

t0qer (230538) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477975)

Fuck that job
http://fuckthatjob.com/index.php

E-mails of the suthibut family (doesn't seem to be updated)
http://blog.postapocalypse.com/dave/dave suthibut.a sp

Let me help (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478033)

Dig [w3.org]

Imm. Req!!! Sr. Software Engineer - INDIA (0, Funny)

Michael's a Jerk! (668185) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477976)

Dear Friends,

We have an immidiate requirement for Sr. Software Engineer for our MNC
client from Banglore, INDIA.
Exp: 5 - 8 Years
Qual: B.E/B.Tech OR M.E/M.Tech
The person must have a knowledge of the following key skills.

- C and RISC programming
- Software Arch. and Design Experience
- Chip Debugging
- VxWorks
- pSoS
-Device Drivers
-ATM
-DSL
-System Debugging

Please forword your Latest Resume as word document attachment.

Thanks

Uday.
uday@eexcelsolutions.com
visit: www.eexcelsolutions.com

Please do convey your friends and pals who are looking for a better
opportunity in in INDIA.

10 years Java experience (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7477979)

In 1997!

Re:10 years Java experience (1)

cpghost (719344) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478032)

Designing Web sites sind 1980!

FUCKTHATJOB.COM (-1)

fireloong (75954) | more than 10 years ago | (#7477988)

It's so common that there's a website dedicated to horrible job postings.

http://www.fuckthatjob.com

Lots of them here (4, Informative)

EvilStein (414640) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478001)

at Fuck That Job dot com [fuckthatjob.com] ..but you know, there are so many of these postings that it's really not that funny anymore. It just reaffirms our belief that management really is trying to squeeze everything they can out of the pee-on workers.
Gotta do something to give that CEO his bonus (studies show that executive compensation has gone up over 17% in the past year. Bah.)

Re:Lots of them here (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478150)

Actually, what it reaffirms that most management really has no clue when it comes to computers.

I don't even work in IT at all, I'm a Architect, and it's *insane* what some people ask for when it comes to CAD skills; same story- years more experance than the software's even been available, or a posting I saw last week that require you to be a expert in four different CAD systems, have knowlege of five others, be able to *program* in the custom languages of two- and this was for a *design position* not a CAD manager or something that actually might require such knowlege. And again, like other posters are pointing out, if you're an 'expert' in AutoCAD, 3D Studio, Maya, Revit, ArchiCAD, and on, and on, then you sure as hell will be able to find a way better job than sloggin' along in some CAD-monkey position- heck, you might as well go work for a movie/animation studio, or AutoDesk!

So I think it has everything to do with the fact that Management still has no real idea what's going on, and that the rift between those of us that know about IT and those that don't is much much MUCH wider than most of us geeks would like to think. Heck, most of the people here in the office don't even understand the difference between 'reply' and 'reply all'...

I don't think it has anything to do exploitation!

Sounds great! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478007)

Are they kidding? I can finally put both of my PhDs to work on this job! No more boredom! No more annoying disposable income either, by the looks of it!

But there is one problem: Do I really have to move to Edmonton for this?

Dual Personality (1)

NorthBear (40302) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478010)

Hummm....

"Self Starter" and "Team Player" are favorites of mine.
But, aren't they mutually exclusive?

In US dollars (2, Informative)

orthogonal (588627) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478014)

The job pays 17.00 to 19.00 Canadian dollars per hour.

That's 13.05 to 14.58 US dollars per hour.

(No this is not a cheap anti-Canada joke. Currency conversion is taken from here [xe.com] , the first Google lsiting for currency conversion [google.com] .

Re:In US dollars (1)

Malc (1751) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478075)

My first job as a software engineer after graduation was $28K (Denver, 1996). What's that - $14/hr? I was on $35 three months later, and $56K in 2 years, but that's another story. With all my technical skills I couldn't so this job as it requires fluency in another language (I only speak English and atrocious English - what more can c**t want? ;)

Dangerous Job (1)

tgibson (131396) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478015)

This job [boners.com] sounds pretty dangerous.

Hey, it's not that bad (2, Funny)

y2imm (700704) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478016)

The Canadian dollar is up around 77 cents US these days.

Oh shit, that does suck.

Re:Hey, it's not that bad (1)

Malc (1751) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478096)

It sucks for me living in Canada and getting paid USD. I had an 16% pay cut in just the first three months of this year. It's only got worse, and it looks like the trend will continue. As far as my employer is concerned... I still cost the same :(. Would you guys south of the border please have a word the boss and ask him to talk the dollar back up? It's obviously terrorist action!

CAD$38K ASP Programmer (3, Funny)

thegrommit (13025) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478017)

That's less than US$29K. While one of the job requirements [workopolis.com] may be unique, it would be amusing to see how long a heterosexual male would last working there.

HOT GAY BUTTSEX (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478081)

HOT

Re:CAD$38K ASP Programmer (4, Funny)

HungWeiLo (250320) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478130)

I bet you get used to it. Two summers ago, I did web monkey work for a major university hospital, where I got look at up-close STD patient photos (in ultra high resolution taken with a 5MP camera, no less). After half a week, it wasn't such a big deal anymore. After awhile, if a friend showed up to visit me, I would point to a picture I have on the monitor, and say something like "hey look at those little mushrooms," forgetting about the outside world.

Currenetly hiring... (0)

ForestGrump (644805) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478024)

Looking for library desk worker. Pays min wage.
Apply at local college.

Campus cafetria. Benefits include meals, and getting harassed at by friends.

Campus computer store- Does this work with my computer? (your an english major. quit asking)

taxi driver- where to?

AOL help desk- I enjoy speaking to idiots all day.

President- no wait, George sure is enjoying his time living off tax payer money.

School principal- Superintendent Chalmers: I've had it with this school, Skinner! Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children... (simpsons)

-Grump

Low pay (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478030)

I have encountered a number of companies that by intention pay about 1/2 market rate. They must think the high turnover isn't hurting their productivity. Maybe it isn't.

Its a Joke... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478034)

This is actually a joke. But then again, slashdot is known for its thorough and objective intuition.

foiirst pooost (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478037)

kiill ahll noiirds. kiill them! yes. yes. yes.

Wrong country... (1)

Duncan3 (10537) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478038)

You can find an army of people willing to do all that work for 5$/hr over in India.

Which is exactly what they will do, some subcontractor will contact them and bid it out.

Heck I'm sure 5 such offers bounce off my spam filters every day.

That's why there are no jobs in the US anymore.

Keep in mind (4, Insightful)

rob-fu (564277) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478039)

...that as much as you hate your lousy IT job, there are 10 other people who would fill it given the chance. On top of that, I'd rather have a job in IT than working in, say, a meat processing plant. I'm grateful to have a job in IT, even if it sucks.

Re:Keep in mind (1)

VelvetHelmet (655533) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478132)

I've worked in a meat processing plant via a temp agency. It was actually a plant that produced a frozen chicken, vegetable, and rice mix that was sent to Japanese restaurants. I'm a pretty job-committed person, but the overwhelming smell of raw chicken caused me to quit after one day.

Re:Keep in mind (1)

willtsmith (466546) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478156)

Yes but if your being paid the same as a meatpacker, it kind of defeats the point of education.

From now on, only union work for me ;-)

This one (1)

blakestah (91866) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478044)

An actual posting about 6 months ago.

Required:
- BS degree in relevant field
- 4 years minimum QA experience
- 2 years testing web applications using Oracle and/or DB2 database
- 2 years testing web applications using WebLogic and/or WebSphere application server
[*previous experience with coding in a rice paddy.]

Pay rate: $10-$15/hr

OK, the rice paddy part wasn't actually in the ad.

Re:This one (1)

cayenne8 (626475) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478098)

I'm wondering how they can expect a college degree in someone they aren't paying a living wage to....in light that most people have college loans to pay off and can't live and pay back both on this lousy salary....??

Should be happy they're offering $$ at all! (1)

EvilStein (414640) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478046)

Check out craigslist - jobs like the following are *quite* common these days.
--
Programmer intern to set up simple Acrobat online document system!
Reply to: contact@blissinteractive.com
Date: 2003-11-04, 11:56AM

Bliss Interactive (www.blissinteractive.com) is currently seeking an unpaid intern to accomplish the following task:

Take our workflow process online, utilizing/integrating documents currently created with Acrobat Professional 6.0.

Specifically, we need you to:

1. Allow for a username and password to be set for each project.
2. Have a pre-set catalog of documents which currently exist in Adobe Acrobat 6.0 viewable online for each project after the user logs in. The docs may be accessed from a simple left nav UI.
3. Allow anyone who logs on to add to/change the alterable text fields already embedded in the Acrobat documents and save the changes online.

There are approximately 40 documents total.

Benefits: why would you want to do this for us as an unpaid intern?

In short, you have the time and you are interested in expanding your network. We have the need for qualified programmers for projects of all kinds. If we develop a good working relationship with you, we will pass programming work along to you in the future!

Please respond with a short email explaining past experience with projects like this as well as your CV in the body of your email.

Telecommuting is ok.
This is a part-time job.
This is a contract job.
This is an internship job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.
this is in or around Union Square

18786888

Re:Should be happy they're offering $$ at all! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478105)

Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.

oops. slashdot readers, please do make sure to let them know [mailto] that there's been an error (and what you think of their "job" posting.)

Welcome to the 21st century (5, Insightful)

winkydink (650484) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478052)

If you still have an insanely high-paying IT job, give thanks and keep saving. Chances are good that you won't have it much longer between offshore outsourcing and a whole ton of unemployed IT ppl willing to do your job for less $$$.

Let's face it. IT salaries got way ahead of themselves in during the boom. Now the pendulum swings the other way

Have you looked at what a teacher makes or any other number of degree-requiring professions? CAD$40k might sound sucky to you, but I'm betting there's a lot of unemployed IT ppl out there right now who'd take it in a snap.

Re:Welcome to the 21st century (1)

danielsfca2 (696792) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478149)

I'm not going to try to argue against that, because it's pretty logical and I guess you're right, but...this sucks. Time to drop my CIS major. How about... Marketing?

Job listing I want to see (5, Insightful)

nate nice (672391) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478061)

Requirements: Creative, smart individual who finds delight in working with others and around others. Candidate should have an understanding of computational theory and application and be able to grasp new ideas quickly. Prospective employee should have skills in a couple programming languages as well as the ability to learn a new language or environment quickly. If you are right for this job you will be able to apply your knowledge, logic and intuition to the problems at hand. You enjoy solving problems and discovering new ways to do things. An engineering degree is preferred but not necessary. If you don't have an engineering degree you will be expected to demonstrate competency in math, logic and computer science theory. You will be paid accordingly to your abilities in the above listed requirements.

Instead we see:
Must have 10 years of programming in language A that has been around for 4 years. Most know X,Y,Z. We don't care if you can learn X,Y,Z or understand the theory behind X,Y,Z, you must know it because it is a nice buzz-word right now. Be prepared to unlearn X,Y,Z and learn G,H,J when they become the new buzzwords. We don't want you to think, we want you code!! code!! code!!

But I digress.

Re:Job listing I want to see (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478158)

In the real world math, logic and computer science theory don't matter as much as you think they do.

You are obviously still in college or just graduated and seek your first real job.

If they need someone to do math they'll just hire a consultant with a math masters.

You're just a code monkey man, get used to it.

Playboy.com (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478065)

I saw an ad awhile ago, they were asking for a UNIX Admin with over 6 years of experience, a Bachelor's and literally tons of other criteria (not as bad as the French one though) for $40k a year. During the height of the tech boom too!

Re:Playboy.com (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478126)

What that ad didn't mention was the added benefit of free room and board at The Mansion, with full Grotto privileges.

Worst Job Posting. Wanted: (1)

EmCeeHawking (720424) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478067)

Santa Cruz Operation, Orem UT
Chief Financial Officer

Looking for someone willing to completely ignore the Sarbanes-Oxley Securities Act( total ignorance of this legislation a plus! )and sign off on dubious financial reports. Experience with Enron, WorldCom, or Tyco preferred.

Education Requirements: 1.0 GPA or lower in Corporate Ethics

Horrible (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478069)


In the Seattle Times summer 2002;

Use your UNIX administration and Secretarial skills in our modern, fast-paced office.

Our law office needs a part-time secretary and unix administrator. Excellent Benefits and a generous $10 per hour! Don't miss this one!

Really, I swear! The ad ran for 5 weeks before they either gave up or got a clue.

Or hired someone... (1)

winkydink (650484) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478125)

...I didn't say they were competent

Mail room (5, Funny)

faust2097 (137829) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478070)

I saw a posting for mail room personnel at CNet that said "must have 2 years previous corporate mail room experience". And it wasn't for managing the thing, it was just a nomal clerk position.

Would you want to hire someone who was either a) so uncapable that working the mail room is the peak of their abilities or b) so ambition-free that they had multiple years of mailroom experience without advancing?

.NET Experience Ofcourse... (1)

DeionXxX (261398) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478074)

Just like others have noted, job postings where they ask for 4-5 years experience with C# or .NET Framework. These are sooo common these days, I guess hiring managers don't really know what technology they're actually hiring for. I'm sure they just take their experience from other job postings (5+ experience C++ programming) and apply it to whatever the management tell him they need (a C# programmer).

Ofcourse jobs that ask one to know everything under the sun are completely off base, but I think there are people who give the managers the impression that a person can know all the software they put on the list. I'm sure this is just exposure to individuals to never say they can't handle something dealing with technology.

I feel I've always been someone like that. Someone that never says "No, I can't do that" and always says "Sure, I'll figure it out in a few minutes.". I've worked at plenty of jobs doing tech work and programming where I've had to learn something over night or at work that day to use in my job.

Ofcourse like I said earlier... these ridiculous job postings are just made by hiring personel that have no idea of the technology they're actually hiring for.

-- D3X

The ONE, the Only, the First truly FREE Adult entertainment site... [ I'm serious ] [neox3.com]

That's easy... (1)

schwaang (667808) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478077)

Anything matching my qualifications and located in Hyderabad or Bombay. [I wince when I see these on Dice. I don't even think they hire Americans. They're probably just hiring back some of the Indians who came here on H1 visas.]

Regardless of how ridiculous.... (1)

msafar (674967) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478078)

this job posting is, think about it from Kelly's viewpoint. They are competing with foreign workers for help desk support; their tech outsourcing is under siege. If someone's willing to fill this position, even for a month, they've made some money. Kelly is a transactional business; not a brain-farm (like BearingPoint or Accenture).

Tech workers are whining about what hard labor workers had to endure with NAFTA. Remember Perot's "Giant Sucking Sound" -- well now, thanks to the Internet and armagedden in the telco market, you now have that sucking sound from Asia.

Want better tech jobs? Create them! You've got to build something more than yet another XML Web Service for B2B leveraging of core compentencies in the new millenium...if you know what I mean.

Local ISP (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478080)

I once saw a job ad from an ISP in the Northern San Francisco Bay Area for a financial controller. They were offering $8/hour -- less than an entry-level position at the Burger King just down the street.

A joke (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478083)

Welcome to the low wage economy. What people forget is that they are competing with people from India and other very low wage countries.

I am from the UK and work as a freelance writer, I did a piece not too long ago about how employers want more and more yet are in real terms offering less they were 10 years ago. I interviewed the owner of a large telesales outsorcing company, he had this to say

"People always complain about low wages, instead they should be giving me a medal. If costs become too high using staff from the UK I can just move the operation to India and save 40%. Not only that everyone of those Indian workers will be very highly educated and very grateful for the opportunity to work for me."

This shit is why... (1)

John Courtland (585609) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478090)

...I don't care about getting a degree any longer. I'm tired of spending money just so that I can lie about myself to maybe have a slight possibility of trying for a chance at a job.

Fuck that shit, I'm gonna be a gravedigger (isn't my dad proud now). At least then I'll have a crooked ass union to back me up.

um wtf? (3, Interesting)

crabpeople (720852) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478097)

"worked in IT jobs have been remarking on absolutely horrible job postings for low-level IT jobs paying small change"

? except for the rediculous amount of qualifications needed for that poisition, it seems like any other job posting ive seen for helpdesk. also 19 bucks an hour is alot of money to most entry level people i know (including myself). it should be noted that the rent in edmonton for a small apartment is usually around 500 CAN/mth and with this job working 40 hours a week would make like 3k.

how is 3k a month bad? have you tried looking for work lately? im tryign to find a job doing similar things in vancouver and would be more than happy with 12 or 13 dollars an hour. that would cover rent and internet and all that.

wtf is the poster on? does he expect everyone to be making 50k+ a year?

Re:um wtf? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478141)

The vancouver IT industry sucks. I'm looking as well and have had very little luck. You should try alberta or toronto.

I'm paying 700 a mo for rent, with a 30k CA salary.

I find myself way too short of cash all too often.

Easy: Slashdot Editor (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478101)

especially the anal sex requirements. No thank you!

Two Words... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478108)

Salad Engineer... honestly, I saw this once on the Canadian HRDC (government sponsored job site)...

Wanted - Linux Admin (2, Interesting)

dioxide (149116) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478121)

required-
5 years linux experiance
thorough knowlege of perl, c, php, shell scripting
ability to travel
BA in CS

was some kind of admin job for a new company
they offered us $8 an hour.

Not that rare (1)

curtlewis (662976) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478127)

To see posts l like that. The pay range for the job linked to in the original post is about $12/hr US, btw.

I've seen worse, but I ran across this one recently:
http://www.craigslist.org/eby/tch/19114 816.html

FWIW, In N Out Burger pays $11.70/hr locally.

be grateful for what you have (4, Insightful)

egomaniac (105476) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478131)

I work at a dot-com company. One you've heard of, trust me. Anyway, we survived the Internet bubble bursting, and most of us kept our jobs, but things were still tough around here for a couple of years.

After finding out that the raises one year would be much smaller than expected, a coworker of mine complained about it. I looked at him in bafflement, and told him he should be thankful to be getting a raise at all. He should be happy to have a job at all.

For that matter, I later reflected, he should be happy simply that he makes enough money to have food to eat, to provide for himself and his loved ones, and not to have to go to bed wondering where his next meal will be coming from. All of us that can say that should be thankful for it.

Yes, the job the submitter pointed to isn't spectacular pay, but it's enough to feed and clothe yourself in comfort. That's more than most people in the world can say. Try to keep a sense of perspective while you're busy complaining about things.

How about this one... (2, Funny)

acrolein (113485) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478140)

I once saw one that said "No Mullets, please."

Reminds me of a little game (2, Funny)

Jubii (315611) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478142)

Looking at that job posting, you could almost play a game of Bullshit Bingo [perkigoth.com] with it...

foreign workers (4, Insightful)

flacco (324089) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478143)

if you see any truly unbelievably low pay rates, you can bet they're placing the ad just to fulfill a legal requirement before hiring a foreign worker for peanuts.

The job posting for when it leaves... (2)

SamTheButcher (574069) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478145)

CA-AB-Downtown Edmonton-Help Desk Tier 1 & 2 - Bilingual French<br>
Description:<br>
5 Tier 1 & 2 Helpdesk candidates required for our downtown, Fortune 500 client. Must be Bilingual French. Must know Windows XP, MS Office Professional, Office 2000, Lotus Notes, and Novell. WINNT is nice to have. 2-4 years experience in technical PC support and/or Helpline operations in a client/server environment. Experience supporting Intel based operating system. Good soft skills required (positive attitude, team player/self starter, communication skills, excellent listening skills, flexible, strong personal time management, task oriented, must be eager and willing to learn.) Fluency in the English language, articulate, and flexible with duties. Diploma or degree preferred- Microcomputer Specialist (GMCC), Computer Systems Technologist (NAIT), Computing Science (UofA), etc. Must be available for varying shifts in this 24/7 environment. All applicants must be bilingual French, or you need not apply.<br>
Requirements:<br>
Diploma or degree from a recognized institution, preferrably in relevant field, or equivalent working experience.<br>
Software List: Some or all would be preferred.<br>
Integral ? Benefits<br>
Integral - Payroll<br>
SAP and SAP Client<br>
AOD (Access On Demand DB)<br>
AIP ? Aspect integrator Platform<br>
ASCC - Advanced Supply Chain Collaboration<br>
AutoCAD<br>
AutoCa d Lite<br>
AutoVIEW<br>
BAAN System ( Canada )<br>
BOL ? Business OnLine<br>
CADKEY<br>
CAWP Helpdesk<br>
CCRP process owner for Canada.<br>
Chameleon (Xwindows)<br>
CIT ? application<br>
CIT - Cash In Time Notes Database (server issues)<br>
Coach - Time keeping software<br>
Columbus Citrix;<br>
CompSCOT, MQ Queries, MQ Series,<br>
Cosmos<br>
CRS<br>
C RS - Customer Reporting System<br>
CSP (Commerce Solutions Project)<br>
CSP and OMCT, If it is determined to be a database problem<br>
CTI Admin Support; BOL - Business OnLine; Commerce Engine;<br>
CTI Applic. Support<br>
EDMS<br>
EDS - Electrical design software<br>
eSMART<br>
eTB complaint/problem; eTB (Easy To Buy)<br>
FAS US-PCS-Norwalk<br>
FDTN - All Others<br>
FDTN - Installation<br>
FDTN - New User<br>
FDTN - ODBC Error<br>
FDTN - SPIN Website<br>
First View<br>
FTP Site - Canada<br>
GAD Server issues<br>
Global License Server Triad-Flex/LM, Pro-E<br>
Global Notes Database<br>
GP Time Entry - Electronic Timesheet System (ETS) - password resets<br>
Greco CNC Software<br>
Group Processes Project Information database<br>
Hummingbird ExCeed<br>
Hyperion Retrieve - WINFORM<br>
IS Supportline US-Notes Support-Americas Database<br>
JMIP Notes Database<br>
MACPAC ViewNow<br>
MANMAN (VIMS)<br>
Masterfile - server issues<br>
Masterfile ( same as above)<br>
MAXIMO server<br>
Microstation CAD<br>
Minitab<br>
MDS - Mechanical design software<br>
ME10 - 2D Cad system - Canda<br>
MQ Queries, MQ Series,<br>
Netscape Communicator<br>
Netting -Notes A Zurich supported Notes accounting database<br>
New CA network accounts<br>
New GIA/SRA account requests, Defective token returns<br>
Norton Anti Virus 4.5 Corp edition to 2003<br>
Notes file restore requests for Canada, Columbus, Raleigh and Windsor<br>
Nuclio (also known as '7-space' to monitor our network)<br>
NuTCracker - Runs Unix apps in NT<br>
OMCT - Open Content Merging Technologies ( same is CSP )<br>
Open Connect (Java VT Terminal Emulation) (Warminster)<br>
Oracle, Remedy database,<br>
PC Leasing Information, Canada<br>
PDM software for Pro/Enginee<br>
PeopleSoft Helpdesk<br>
Platinum -Norwalk Financial Program US-PCS-Norwalk<br>
Powerhelp (app support)<br>
Powerhelp (web support)<br>
PPHS (Paperless Plant Handling System)<br>
PPHS Mailbox<br>
PowerOlap client<br>
Powerplay ? Cognos<br>
Primivera<br>
Pro/Engineer/PDM<br>
P roxy, Internet access, Fire Wall, Websense blocking<br>
Purchasing requests CANADA<br>
Purchasing requests Raleigh, Windsor, Norwalk & Stamford<br>
ReView<br>
IGS<br>
Rob ot Studio<br>
ROSS<br>
SBase<br>
SCOT; Parts OnLine<br>
Service Activity Entry (SAE/SR Tools)<br>
Shop Track - Data collection software for bar code readers - Canada<br>
Showcase<br>
Simba<br>
SIMO N - web server access<br>
SIMON - application<br>
Six Sigma - ABB data collection for manufacturing quality - Canada<br>
SmarTeam<br>
SMTP Gateway Problems<br>
Solomon client for time card system, purchasing, BOM<br>
Solid Works<br>
Solutions Bank - application issues<br>
Solutions Bank - new account<br>
Solutions Bank - server issues<br>
SPECTRA (EDS/MDS Power Transformer Design Software)
Symix<br>
System Pictures Assignment Process - All Others<br>
System Pictures Assignment Process - Installation<br>
System Pictures Assignment Process - New User<br>
System Pictures Assignment Process - ODBC error<br>
SyteLine MRP<br>
SyteLine Client<br>
Terminal Server Client<br>
Thames Water project ( Windsor server at DMZ )<br>
TopCall<br>
TRACK<br>
TRIPS<br>
TTT<br>
University Relations Notes Database<br>
UUNET / WorldCom Helpdesk<br>
VPN lev 2<br>
VNC<br>
VIMS ? Administration (Warminster)<br>
VIMS ? Hardware (Warminster)<br>
Visual Studio .NET<br>
Voloview<br>
Webplan - server<br>
Webplan log out user via MacPac<br>
Wickliffe Sequel Server - SQL2- Database - MsalesProj2<br>
WINFORM - hardware ( servers)<br>
WINFORM - software (application)<br>
XES- Xerox scan to file, plotter software,<br>
XVision - Canada<br>
Data Exchange<br>
Microstation<br>
AutoCA D Mechanical<br>
Via WD<br>
Adobe Photoshop<br>
GTX Raster tools<br>
Bentley Powerscope<br>
StaadPro<br>
StaadTT<br>
Staad.E tc<br>
PLS-Pole/Steel<br>
Alcoa<br>
PLS-Caisson <br>
Tomad<br>
MathCAD<br>
PCA-col<br>
PCA-mat <br>
PLS-CADD<br>
PLS-Sagsec<br>
Aspen-oneliner <br>
Aspen-Powerflow<br>
CAP 540<br>
SEL 5010<br>
SEL 5020<br>
Win ELP<br>
REL Tools<br>
SEL Accelerator<br>
Novatech Comm. Director<br>
REB Win<br>
Win PLD<br>
<br>
Experience:<br>
Proven industry experience in a helpdesk environment and level 1 or 2 resolution experience.<br>
Details:<br>
Jobhour s: Variable<br>
Languages: Bilingual French<br>
Salary: $17.00/hr - $19.00/hr<br>
Location: Downtown Edmonton<br>
Duration: 2 year contract<br>
Respond<br>
Contact Information<br>
ks7021@kellyservices.com<br>
Kel ly Services<br>
10020-101 A. Avenue, Suite 850<br>
Edmonton, Alberta Western T5J 3G2<br>
Ph: (780) 421-7777<br>
Fax: (780) 426-5355<br>
Click here to see all "Kelly Services" opportunities<br>

Oh, GODS! (1)

farrellj (563) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478147)

About 5 years I saw a job posting looking for someone with 7 years experience in JAVA programming...JAVA had only announced to the public in 1995...how could you have 7 years experience with a langauge that was only available for 3 years?!?!?!

ttyl
Farrell

From the university side ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478151)

The interesting trend this year is US-based
companies (Intel, etc) coming to US campuses
(Berkeley, etc) recruiting new Ph.D.'s to return
to work in China, who must be Chinese citizens.

In previous years, these new grads would have
been recruited to Portland or Santa Clara,
on an H1-B, at the going local rate. I remember
the details on the Intel one because (as Intel
can only be) it was quite blunt in its wording,
but a few other multinationals have been doing
this too. All perfectly legal, of course, but a sign
of the times ...

Motion sickness study candidates (1)

pedrow (657193) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478152)

When I was in school, there was a job posting looking for motion sickness study candidates. For $25/session, they'd spin you around until you puked. Makes all the whining about crappy IT positions seem petty.

Slashdotting.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7478153)

Uh. Did you guys manage to slashdot fuckthatjob.com already? It wasn't even in the article! Impressive, your skills are...

It's quite simple, really (1)

Guppy06 (410832) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478157)

"It seems the headhunters and employers are still wanting knowledge in everything, at least one degree but preferably two, and want to keep employees on minimal wages"

They have to at least pretend to be looking locally before they start outsourcing to India.

On-Call Outlook/Exchange Admin (5, Interesting)

BigRedFish (676427) | more than 10 years ago | (#7478159)

As soon as I see 'Administer Outlook/Exchange' and 'on-call 24/7', I don't care how much it pays.

Besides, I don't have 5 years experience with 2K/XP. I don't know if they do that to weed out liars or what, but it's a big red flag to me that the employer is reality-challenged.

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