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Slashback: Matrix, Terminology, Topology

timothy posted more than 10 years ago | from the wild-duck-on-planet-nandor dept.

Slashback 179

Slashback is back from a Thanksgiving hiatus with a bigger-than-usual collection of updates, corrections and followups to previous Slashdot stories, including pretty maps of the Internet, spammers' OS choices, stupidity in the wild, and more. Read on for the details.Of course, Red Hat didn't claim to be the first ... cmeyer writes in response to the news that Red Hat is expected to attain Common Criteria certification. "Linux achieved the first Common Criteria certification back in the beginning of August. It was a joint effort of IBM and SUSE." He points to this August Slashdot posting about the news and to a press release on SUSE's site.

Well, it's robust, stable and handy for networking tasks ... Linux and Unix users may be justifiably smug about our machines' resistance to viruses and trogans (including ones that send spam), since most of these things are aimed at Microsoft Windows. Maybe it should be no surprise that spammers like Linux, too:

Niels Provos writes "You might remember Honeyd? I have been using it since June to capture spam emails in an attempt to better understand how spammers operate. A recent feature in Honeyd is passive fingerprinting which allows Honeyd to passively identify the operating system that contacts it. For spammers, it turns out that about 43% seem to be running Linux. And mostly Unix, Windows ranks at around 0.7%. The unknown fraction is 52%, so there might be surprises lurking there."

Apple products must be ripened before consumption. Ipodlounge.com editor Dennis Lloyd was one of several readers to note that, rather than the November date named in the recent 2-year iPod retrospective in the New York Times, the device came out just a bit earlier. "The iPod's anniversary was in October ;) The iPod was officially launched on Oct. 23, 2001. The NYT article is incorrect."

May the tide be with you. Doc Searls writes: "Thought I'd direct your attention to the first half of a transcription of the talk Linus gave on the September Geek Cruise that got Slashdotted a few weeks ago. Can't find the link to the Slashdot item, but as i recall it didn't have the benefit of a real transcription." (Here's the Slashdot post about the cruise.) "This one is not only a full transcription (by yours truly, all disclaimers apply), but features pix of his slides and demos as well."

Searls also has up the second part: "That's the Q&A, which is even longer than the prepared part of the talk," as well as the third: "The third part is a transcription of a talk Linus and others gave to the Victoria Linux Users Group. Shorter than the first two."

Searls' three-part report on the cruise itself ran in Linux Journal.

This way to the Egress! Rick Chapman, author of the recently reviewed In Search of Stupidity , writes to point out that book excerpts are available at insearchofstupdity.com, along with some of the book's illustrations.

"Also, I recently was interviewed live on a local CT business show and I've had the session digitized and am mounting on the site today. It runs about 45 minutes and I discuss a lot of the stuff in the book as well as other issues revolving around software marketing and development. ... I have a lot of samples of really bad things I brought to the taping and I think you'll get a kick out of the session."

They should sell nice prints to buy bandwidth. An anonymous reader writes "From the New Scientist article: A project to create a comprehensive graphical representation of the Internet in just one day and using only a single computer has already produced some eye-catching images."

Back pedal, back pedal, baker's man, cover that label with tape if you can. Mr. Slippery writes "According to this Yahoo! News story, L.A. County did not ban the use of 'master' and 'slave' in labeling, but made more of a polite request to vendors. A subtle but important distinction.

'"I do understand that this term has been an industry standard for years and years and this is nothing more than a plea to vendors to see what they can do," said Joe Sandoval, division manager of purchasing and contract services. "It appears that some folks have taken this a little too literally."' (As, perhaps, did those who got offended in the first place...)"

The original memo called Master and Slave labels "not acceptable" -- how non-literally can that be taken? -- and as further news stories have reported, was prompted by an employee's workplace discrimination complaint against the city. That sounds to me like more than a polite request. At least the city has found that a little tape is enough to make the world safe from misinterpreted words.

I bet Bill is a better actor than Keanu. Karma Sucks writes "After some embarrassing PR backlash it seems as if Microsoft is clamping down on distribution of pictures or videos related to the Matrix Spoof that featured Linux and Windows at COMDEX. Even more interesting are the reports that Microsoft is systematically scouting Open Source desktop technology."

And this is what percentage of the industry's profits? dlh writes "Boston.com is reporting that a federal judge Thursday approved a $143 million settlement of a lawsuit that accused major record companies and large music retailers of conspiring to set minimum music prices."

Time to get a new watch. Krellis writes "DynDNS.org, a major dynamic DNS provider, has announced that they will shut off access to any customers using the Linksys WRT54G wireless router to update their service on December 8th unless the router is patched. See the story on ExtremeTech and the DynDNS Press Release for more details. Updated firmware can be downloaded from Linksys."

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Cocktrout (-1)

(TK)Max (668795) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634457)

WESLEY SLITHERED ACROSS THE BRIDGE ON THE JUICES ON HIS OWN COCK
WORF, HE GROANED,
GIVE ME SOME MORE SEX
#

keep posts on topic.
Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads.
Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said.
Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about.
Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on thekeep posts on topic.
Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads.
Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said.
Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about.
Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the

Get off my bridge!!!!1 (-1)

(TK)Dessimat0r (668222) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634459)

WESLEY SLITHERED ACROSS THE BRIDGE ON THE JUICES ON HIS OWN COCK
WORF, HE GROANED,
GIVE ME SOME MORE SEX

# Important Stuff: Please try to keep posts on topic.
# Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads.
# Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said.
# Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page)

Frosty Pist (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634463)

bawahahahhahahahaa

niggers (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634470)

niggers in pop

OMG! first post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634473)

matrix is gay, just like apple.

Re:OMG! first post (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634717)

on a sunny midday the sky is red.

Re:OMG! first post (0, Offtopic)

fastidious edward (728351) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634776)

I suggest you see your optician. The sky is infact blue [google.com] , mainly because of light diffraction [sdsu.edu] (that light coming from the sun). Sometimes the sky may have many interesting colours called the northern lights [mtu.edu] , or there may be a change in the deffraction when the sun sets [google.com] but the sky should not be red [google.com] at midday.

fp (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634476)

first post
hsf lksdjfl kjsakldf slkdajflkasjfl;kj salfkj fklwejrio jasdlfj sdfjoiwjlekj lksdjf

Linux and Spammers (4, Insightful)

rf0 (159958) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634479)

Well taking that things like sendmail can send 1,000,000 mails and hour with the right spec its not overally surprising as they platform is quick and stable. Of course all spammers should be spit roasted.

Hmm spitroastedspammers.com

Rus

Re:Linux and Spammers (1)

Oopsz (127422) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634512)

Sounds like a bad porn site...

...or a good one.

Re:Linux and Spammers (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634529)

Most the spam I get appears to be from windows machines. What's wrong with me, is my mail address not good enough for *nix using vermin?

Re:Linux and Spammers (0, Offtopic)

Oopsz (127422) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634542)

Haha, i just noticed who I was replying to.. hi rus!

Re:Linux and Spammers (2, Interesting)

Neo-Rio-101 (700494) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634570)

That, and it's pretty easy to program a tiny script to do most of the dirty work. This is something Linux comes with built in.

All you need is a file full of email addresses, a file for the spam message, and then a small script looking something like this :

#!/bin/bash
for address in $(cat spamlist)
do
cat spam | mail -s address
done

One thing you forgot. (-1)

News For Turds (580751) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634721)

You're gay.

I hate you.

Faggot.

Love Always,
News For Turds

My money's on misconfigured sendmail installations (4, Interesting)

pr0ntab (632466) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634735)

to be the explanation for the 43% of upstream spam sources. You have people installing older versions of Linux with everything enabled, then bungling the configuration turning it into a mail relay. For a person new to configuring sendmail, postfix, qmail, or whatever, you sort of enter a discovery phase where you make changes to the conf files, restart it, and see if you can send mail yet.
And you stop, pat yourself on the back, and don't change anything when it starts working. But what if that change was that got it to work was, well, relay for all? Whoops.

Then there's the unpatched systems that get r00ted and turned into spam zombies.

I don't think the spammers are installing linux that much. (At least not the BIG ones, and they may be knowledgable/paranoid enough to go with OpenBSD or something) The majority probably got some Alienware rig bought off a stolen CC, running a cracked 2003 server. It's just that they offload the mail to some other cracked Unix host to do the work. That doesn't surprise me.

Re:My money's on misconfigured sendmail installati (0)

NineNine (235196) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634870)

don't think the spammers are installing linux that much. (At least not the BIG ones, and they may be knowledgable/paranoid enough to go with OpenBSD or something)

Most spammers use *BSD. Most of them don't know their ass from a hole in the ground... they just install it, and buy a script and a few lists, and fire away.

Re:My money's on misconfigured sendmail installati (3, Insightful)

t0ny (590331) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635172)

I don't think the spammers are installing linux that much. (At least not the BIG ones, and they may be knowledgable/paranoid enough to go with OpenBSD or something) The majority probably got some Alienware rig bought off a stolen CC, running a cracked 2003 server. It's just that they offload the mail to some other cracked Unix host to do the work. That doesn't surprise me.

I doubt that. Spammers hire very tech-savy people, and I would imagine they also pay them very well. The 'dark side', indeed.

Honestly, it doesnt surprise me that spammers are using Linux; they dont have to concern themselves with licensing issues, it gives them better profit margins, better remote management (especially when most spammer's have their operations outside the USA), etc.

Also, I find it curious that you claim the majority of Linux servers which are doing the spam are 'compromised' systems. That would basically make MS machines the safest ones on the net, if we go by the article's statistics...

Re:Linux and Spammers (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634738)

Linux?
I doubt it, I actually think that Apple [apple.com]
computers are heavily involved in spam.
But hey, dont just take my word for it,
a good article about this:
The Apple Connection with Spam! [theapplecollection.com]

From the Article:
"Apple reps admits themselves that their computers are great for sending unsolicited email. The facts are just there, and its an unfortunate fact of business"

Re:Linux and Spammers (3, Funny)

An Onerous Coward (222037) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634952)

Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yep, time to start rewriting SpamAssassin as a kernel patch.

Re:Linux and Spammers (1)

jr416de (550253) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635393)

NOW!!! YOU CAN BE SPIT ROASTED OVER 30% FASTER. SEND $19.99...........

They should sell prints... (4, Informative)

Space cowboy (13680) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634487)

They *do* sell prints. There's a part of the FAQ all about how you can use them for wallpaper, and, er, that's it.

Not that I have anything against that - they're very pretty, and they're entitled to sell them as much as they want :-)

Simon

But what it needs... (5, Funny)

Soulfader (527299) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634643)

...is a 'you are here' arrow.

"Hey, I can see my node from here!"

TOASTER!!!! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634488)

toaster,toaster toaser, do you have toast in you yet i think [rowdyruff.net]
so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Im not a toaster!!!!!!!!!!And one more
thing........YOUR A TOASER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND A COOKIE WITH MILK SOAGE
MILK!!!!!!!!!!AND A BUTT WITH POOP IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Son of Tsarkon Reports Major Tom's Greased Up Yoda (-1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634495)

Son of Tsarkon Reports on a Space Oddity

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity [bowiewonderworld.com]

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars [redcoat.net] and put my do-rag [firstlinemfg.com] on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's [goatse.cx] love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear. [thinkgeek.com]
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today [bmezine.com] .
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan [homestead.com] ?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you [slashdot.org] and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti- [slashcode.com]
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostrate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan [homestead.com] ?

My ass like a baboon's [nature.com]

Slashdot censors you [slashdot.org] and there's nothing I can do.
Suspendisse viverra, metus eget dapibus vestibulum, mauris ipsum porta diam, sit amet congue sem augue et pede. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Nullam eu massa sed leo malesuada pellentesque. Nunc luctus hendrerit sem. Suspendisse tincidunt convallis nunc. In id justo et tortor malesuada hendrerit. Proin ac augue vitae lectus sagittis vulputate. Integer a magna. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse in velit. Duis eleifend congue odio. Maecenas at est. Suspendisse porta, mauris sit amet blandit suscipit, sem leo faucibus mi, sit amet molestie sem velit vel nulla. Aenean neque velit, faucibus vel, luctus sed, vulputate sit amet, eros. Integer tincidunt interdum mauris. Phasellus augue. Nam luctus, massa ac hendrerit gravida, nibh ante vestibulum leo, sit amet dapibus pede purus at nisl. Sed est libero, gravida sed, vulputate sed, semper quis, lorem. Ut tincidunt. Vestibulum mauris turpis, consectetuer non, scelerisque et, vestibulum eget, felis.

Re:Son of Tsarkon Reports Major Tom's Greased Up Y (0, Offtopic)

GinRummy33 (629101) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634569)

...your prostrate's dead... I think you mean "prostate" for the thing in your ass. Prostrate means laying down flat. Unless you've got a squashed butt gland on the floor.

Re:Son of Tsarkon Reports Major Tom's Greased Up Y (1, Offtopic)

bandy (99800) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634702)

And that would be a prolapsed prostate lying prostrate.

IPOD ANNIVERSARY *NOT* THE PROBLEM (-1)

Amsterdam Vallon (639622) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634501)

The REAL problem with the iPod is that the battery is crap and replacing it is a huge nuisance.

"For more than a year, Casey Neistat was thrilled with the performance of his Apple iPod. A loyal fan of Apple computers, he loved using his iPod MP3 player. It looked cool, sounded great and he could listen to eight hours of music on a single charge.

Gradually he noticed the iPod's battery didn't last as long. He had to charge it more and more often, until the iPod could barely pump out 30 minutes of music.

Neistat called Apple's customer support line to find out what he should do. An Apple rep gave Neistat the bad news: those lithium-ion batteries don't last forever. And Apple wouldn't replace the battery for free.

"It's past its year [warranty] which basically means there will be a charge of $255 plus a mailing fee to send it to us to . . . correct it," said an Apple customer service rep on the recording. "But at that price, you know, you might as well go get a new one.""

Read more at http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pag ename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1 070233809823&call_pageid=968350072197&col=96904886 3851 [thestar.com] , sirs.

Re:IPOD ANNIVERSARY *NOT* THE PROBLEM (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634525)

The real problem is that Eric Krout is a dirty karmawhore. write him at ekrout@bucknell.edu to complain.

Re:IPOD ANNIVERSARY *NOT* THE PROBLEM (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634814)

My thoughts exactly. The return of Amsterdam Vallon, SexyKellyOsbourne, and the continued faggotry of the likes of Sir Haxalot, Pingular, and Steve 'Rim' Jobs all seem to point to Ekrout's desire for a gigantic attention-whore-cock up his AIDS-infested anus.

Internet topology (4, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634517)

OK, the pics are great, but I'm not an expert in networking nor in internet topology... IP addresses have 4 dimensions but all internet topology pics seem to be in 3 dimensions with brightness showing the density... how are 4D addresses converted to 3D? Or are the internet topology maps spacial 2D traffic (the earth being, more-or-less, a curved plane which can be represented in 2D) projected on a sphere?

I would be very grateful if anyone could point me in te right direction.

Re:Internet topology (5, Informative)

hattmoward (695554) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634640)

The maps aren't connected in terms of IP addresses as coordinates. It's a map of the links between hosts and networks. Very basically, they are doing traceroute/tracert to hosts and each host that gets mentioned is one dot, and it is connected to the hosts before and after it. If you haven't used traceroute before, run traceroute or tracert in a command window with a host name. The shorter one is used in windows. So to see the hops involved in talking to my website, you would run "tracert hattmoward.org"

Re:Internet topology (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634701)

Thanks, that's really interesting, much appreciated.

Tim.

What happened with Traceroute (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7635412)

Traceroute is a rather interesting anomaly. In the Unix world most commands are rather well, short. Whereas most Windows commands are more descriptive, though longer. For example: mv:move, cp:copy, rm:del, ls:dir But then along comes Traceroute. In Unix it is traceroute where as Windows uses tracert. The technical reason for Windows naming of traceroute is due to the old 8.3 file name limitation. Traceroute had to be shortened in order to be 8 characters long. Unix on the other hand never had these limitations and could name the file with any length name. But, long names are contrary to the naming philosophy which say to use very short names for easy typing.

Why is the Unix traceroute command so damn long? Why wasn't it called tr? Oh, that conflicts with tr, as in the translate command. Well then, why not trt? That's more Unix like. Or perhaps, they could really have been considerate of all the network engineers that use traceroute so often and simply called it "t". Now that would be really good. Calling traceroute "t" would also make it nearly impossible for the average user to associate the command with it's meaning making difficult to remember and just generally hard to use and well, let's face it, that's what Unix is all about.

So what the hell happened to Unix' traceroute. Who ever thought of naming a Unix command completely and descriptively? It's heresy, I tell you!

NEWS FOR NERDS (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634521)

Last night, CmdrTaco savaged my pussy with his massive cock.

- reposted from Bizzaro Slashdot.

Master/Slave taken too literaly? (4, Funny)

Bryan_W (649785) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634540)

"It appears that some folks have taken this a little too literally."
It gives new meaning to the term "Hard Disk"

HOWTO (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634546)

How to install software on Windows

1. Run installation program

How to install software on Linux

1. Download 'tarball'. If you dont know what that is then stop and go back to your wussy operating system, you pus.
2. Run gunzip on the file.
3. Run tar -xvf on the resulting file.
4. Type make config. Answer the questions. If you dont know how to answer the questions then stop and go back to your wussy operating system, you pus.
5. Type make.
6. Fix compilation errors by resolving dependencies or editing the code to fix the bugs.
7. Log bugs on sourceforge.net.
8. Type make install.
9. Run chmod 666 on the resulting file.
10. Attempt to execute the resulting file, and hope that you have the correct distro and the correct window system that the software author had in mind.

Re:HOWTO (4, Funny)

Tony (765) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635071)

What kind of psychedelics are you on, man?

HOWTO install software on MS-Windows

1. Go to store. Find the software you want, or are told you want.
2. Stand in line to purchase software.
3. Pay $429.99 for office suite
4. Drive home
5. Unpack software. Break fingernail on impenetrable plastic carton. Curse. Wrap finger in Curious George band-aid.
6. Insert CD. Watch the extended edition of The Fellowship of the Ring while the virus scanner checks the CD.
7. When the setup program autoruns, click through licenses and questions both stupid and unintelligible. When the setup program asks for the keycode, look around your workspace. After 5 minutes of frantic searching, realize you through it away with the fingernail-hating packaging. Dig through garbage; find license under old coffee grounds.
8. While the program installing, watch the extended edition of The Two Towers.
9. Run the program for the first time. Dig through settings and configuration to figure out how to TURN OFF THAT DAMNED PAPERCLIP!
10. Done.

Of course, this is for an old version of MS-Office. The newer version is much simpler; since Clippy is no longer included, step 9 is not necessary.

HOWTO install program under Linux (Debian):

1. apt-get install openoffice.org

Mirror (4, Funny)

Sophrosyne (630428) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634547)

Anyone have a mirror or bitorrent for Bill Gates Matrix spoof?

Filerush has it (5, Informative)

tycage (96002) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634617)

Filerush [aixgaming.com] has a torrent [filerush.com] of it up. Also a traditional mirror [aixgaming.com] , take your pick.

Mirror mirror on the wall (5, Informative)

Adam9 (93947) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634695)

If you just want the images, I have them mirrored here [darkfire.net]

Here's a direct mirror to the video [indtech.edu]

Re:Filerush has it (1)

JUSTONEMORELATTE (584508) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634712)

Classic, thanks for the torrent.
Is this the video, or is there a more complete/better quality one going around? I'd love to get to see more of this.

--

Re:Filerush has it (1)

tycage (96002) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634758)

It's the only one that I've been able to find. I'd love it if someone else could provide a better one than mine.

Re:Filerush has it (3, Informative)

Faizdog (243703) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634728)

Unfortunately this isn't the complete video, only a small portion of it. There's a funny fight scene between Gates and Balmer a la Morpheus and Neo in the Japanese Dojo. That would be hillarious to see.

Re:Filerush has it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634744)

So that's why my dividends sucked ass for so many years! MS was saving for this big fight scene which apparently will never seee the light of day again!

Well, I feel better.

Re:Filerush has it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634903)

Yeah, this video was incomplete. Darn!

I HATE ALL NIGGERS & JEWS (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634794)

faggggggg

you are stupid

Re:Filerush has it (1)

Feztaa (633745) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635277)

Is it possible to get this in a format that doesn't suck?

It'd be great if somebody could convert it to mpeg and repost it :)

Re:Mirror (2, Funny)

Ty_Webb (729466) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634665)

Well...yeah but the mirror started moving and turning all liquid-like. Then it swallowed me. And more!

Son of Tsarkon Yoda Doll to Major Tom (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634767)

Son of Tsarkon Reports on a Space Oddity

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity [bowiewonderworld.com]

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars [redcoat.net] and put my do-rag [firstlinemfg.com] on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's [goatse.cx] love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear. [thinkgeek.com]
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today [bmezine.com] .
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan [homestead.com] ?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you [slashdot.org] and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti- [slashcode.com]
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan [homestead.com] ?

My ass like a baboon's [nature.com]

Slashdot censors you [slashdot.org] and there's nothing I can do. Suspendisse viverra, metus eget dapibus vestibulum, mauris ipsum porta diam, sit amet congue sem augue et pede. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Nullam eu massa sed leo malesuada pellentesque. Nunc luctus hendrerit sem. Suspendisse tincidunt convallis nunc. In id justo et tortor malesuada hendrerit. Proin ac augue vitae lectus sagittis vulputate. Integer a magna. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse in velit. Duis eleifend congue odio. Maecenas at est. Suspendisse porta, mauris sit amet blandit suscipit, sem leo faucibus mi, sit amet molestie sem velit vel nulla. Aenean neque velit, faucibus vel, luctus sed, vulputate sit amet, eros. Integer tincidunt interdum mauris. Phasellus augue. Nam luctus, massa ac hendrerit gravida, nibh ante vestibulum leo, sit amet dapibus pede purus at nisl. Sed est libero, gravida sed, vulputate sed, semper quis, lorem. Ut tincidunt. Vestibulum mauris turpis, consectetuer non, scelerisque et, vestibulum eget, felis.

Switch sides? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7635326)

Why is Microsoft portraying themselves as the rebels? Sounds like they envy the Linux image.

Trogans? (5, Funny)

CyberSlugGump (609485) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634551)


I guess Linux is resistant to those dreaded "spell checkers," too.

Re:Trogans? (2, Funny)

DeborahArielPickett (336742) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634751)

I guess Linux is resistant to those dreaded "spell checkers," too.

Perhaps it meant to say "trogons [m-w.com] ", though exactly what hazard is brought about by Central American birds I haven't figured out yet.

Re:Trogans? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634863)

No, it's frogans.

http://www.frogans.com/en/

Speaking of the Matrix spoof... (0, Redundant)

sailracer6 (262434) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634561)

Anyone have a bittorrent link to the Gates Matrix video?

Re:Speaking of the Matrix spoof... (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634757)

Funny? Who the fuck modded this funny? Who gave you your sense of humor? Sweet Jesus, this may be the most retarded thing ever.

Re:Speaking of the Matrix spoof... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634812)

Hmmm... Deja vu... must be a Slashdot in the Matrix...

And this is what percentage... (2)

phorm (591458) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634600)

And this is what percentage of the industry's profits

Probably quite considerably less than they've managed to milk people for by conpiring to artificially inflate prices and create an illegal monopoly in the first place. What is the average annual profit of the RIAA?

Re:And this is what percentage... (2, Informative)

John Hasler (414242) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634624)

Zero. It's a not for profit corporation.

When I saw that map of the Internet (4, Interesting)

MsGeek (162936) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634606)

I could only think of one thought..."My God! It's full of stars!"

Gorgeous. It's on one of my KDE desktops now.

Re:When I saw that map of the Internet (1)

rf0 (159958) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634652)

And I though there was also hubs,bus and star networks

Rus

Re:When I saw that map of the Internet (4, Informative)

pantherace (165052) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634833)

there are bus, star, mesh & ring topolgies, both of which are created by links between 2 locations. (ex computer to hub)

Bus is for most things the worst, because everyone shares one connection, to everyone else.
Ring topologies (think token ring) pass things through the intermediate computers, and take reduce the bandwidth to each.
Star is by far the most common, and is arguably the best, because each computer has the full bandwidth available to it, to talk to other computers, presuming of course that each of them isn't already saturated. Hubs are examples of star network topologies.
Mesh topologies are very interesting. Seen on high performance clusters, where each computer can hit another with a jump or two (token ring like) when directly connected, or in wifi. Wireless mesh networks (rare, and usually rather custom & experemental currently) act in a way similar to a star network for the most part, but if something is out of range it contacts a node that can see it's target, and passes the information (or a series of nodes). I would really, really like to see a standard supporting this over all OSes. Currently most setups I have seen on the internet require an all (patched) linux setup to work, but can have other clients connect to it.

Gorgeous (1)

dpilot (134227) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635400)

Agreed, but...

Where's google?

I honestly think google should be visually recognizable on such a map.

Never mind, I just realized that it's a hop map, not a link map. I would expect both google and slashdot (and perhaps memepool) to be recognizable on a link map.

Don't ban the Matrix! (5, Funny)

Neop2Lemus (683727) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634615)

No! They're banning the Mircrosoft Matrix?!

But it was better than either of the "official" Matrix equals

Re:Don't ban the Matrix! (2, Insightful)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634769)

You know, this has been modded as 'funny,' but I think 'insightful' would've been more accurate, sadly. :(

Re:Don't ban the Matrix! (1)

FuzzyBad-Mofo (184327) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635413)

Except they got it backwards.

MS = Blue Pill
Linux = Red Pill

Political correctness (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634619)

The original memo called Master and Slave labels "not acceptable"

Help! Help! I'm being opressed!

Re:Political correctness (1)

Kelz (611260) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634765)

Come see the violence inherant in the system!

Re:Political correctness (2, Insightful)

techno-vampire (666512) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635027)

Being Politically Correct is bending over backwards to avoid offending people who are buisy manipulating you by being creatively thin skinned.

That's what I'm Tolkien about (4, Interesting)

dswensen (252552) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634631)

Mr. Slippery writes "According to this Yahoo! News story, L.A. County did not ban the use of 'master' and 'slave' in labeling, but made more of a polite request to vendors. A subtle but important distinction.

Now see... a lot of Slashdot folk, when they say "too much time on their hands," they're talking about G4s being made into aquariums, or dropping thousands of rubber balls down a stairwell, or ganging up to kill an unkillable Everquest monster, or something.

When I think of "too much time on their hands" I think of these people.

Re:That's what I'm Tolkien about (1)

bobbozzo (622815) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635402)

Yeah, they should change it to 'Stupid Managers' and 'Workers'. :p

blinking red text (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634637)

Please remove the blink red text from your "I say Bill Gates doing something stupid" web site. Arrrrrrrrrgh.

PARENT NOT OFFTOPIC (0)

shaitand (626655) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635129)

Please fix moderation to something else, maybe negative or neutral. Troll might work. But it's not offtopic, if you bother reading the slashbacks that site is linked does have red blinking text and that text is the whole point of the update. Therfore it IS ON TOPIC, even if it is a troll.

OPTE Project (the pretty Internet Maps) :) (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634650)

Greetings Slashdot Friends,

We've been extended a very generous bandwidth offer that will greatly benefit our project. However we're now also looking for a beefier box to run this stuff on.

We have made some "under the hood" technology changes and now have this theoretically scanning the entire net in 13 hours, leaving approximately 11 hours for rendering the image.

We're looking to either raise enough capital to purchase a 2-4 way machine with 4GB ram, or have a nice vendor (*cough* dell, HP/Compaq, Apple, etc) step up and donate one for us.

We should have T-Shirts and other paraphernalia ready to purchase sometime in the next week or so. If the machine donation doesn't come through, we'll take the cash from the merchandise sales to pay for it.

Thank you again everyone for your interest, your participation, and most of all your support.

-= The OPTE Team =-
http://www.opte.org
Efnet IRC: #opte
press@opte.org

FUQN I HATE NIGGERS/JEWS/FAGS/ETC. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634689)

EVERYONE I'M FAT what do i do about it

Re:FUQN I HATE NIGGERS/JEWS/FAGS/ETC. (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634818)

Step 1: Kill yourself.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit.

Spam (1, Insightful)

Kelz (611260) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634714)

"For spammers, it turns out that about 43% seem to be running Linux. And mostly Unix, Windows ranks at around 0.7%. The unknown fraction is 52%, so there might be surprises lurking there."

Windows=more anonymous then?

which scouting are you talking about? (1, Troll)

stroustrup (712004) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634719)

Even more interesting are the reports that Microsoft is systematically scouting Open Source desktop technology.
From Dictionary.com

scout
( P ) Pronunciation Key (skout) v. scouted, scouting, scouts v. tr. 1. To spy on or explore carefully in order to obtain information; reconnoiter. 2. To observe and evaluate (a talented person), as for possible hiring.

...or further down the page
To reject with disdain or derision. See Synonyms at despise.

Internet Pic. (2, Interesting)

Johnathon_Dough (719310) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634770)

I wonder at their use of a sphere to represent the internet, as the sphere has definite boundries.

Perhaps a toroid? or some other more esoteric geometrical shape that can at least imply an infinite loop.

Their picture makes it look like there is a "center" (although I guess a case could be made for their computer creating the image as the center)

Re:Internet Pic. (2, Insightful)

techno-vampire (666512) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635048)

I wonder at their use of a sphere to represent the internet, as the sphere has definite boundries.

If I remember my math correctly, a sphere, although it has a finite surface, has no boundries.

This is the best Matrix topology. (2, Funny)

SEE (7681) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634785)

Love your computer. [blissbox.com]

Damn this thing is funny (1)

Aqua OS X (458522) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635011)

Damn, this thing is funny.
It should be called the "iCum" or something like that :)

Now, here's the important question.... Can it be controlled remotely over the internet?

Re:Damn this thing is funny (2, Interesting)

XO (250276) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635232)

We've had this discussion before, when it's been posted several times before.. this particular one is only powered by the USB port's power.. it is not controlled via USB.

However, I was just informed by a friend that there are models that are capable of being controlled by the computer, and include software for remote usage. I don't know if this is accurate or not, and I'm not going to google for something like this from my work machine. Anyone?

can anyone post a summary of matrix spoof? (1)

preric (689159) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634824)

I watched the first half, which was funny (but not what microsoft intended for me to find amusing), but it ends (apparently when he's asked to shut his camera off) at the introduction of Bill Gates. Can someone who was there sumarize the remainder of the 'spoof'?

Master and Slave (1)

GuanoBoy (196948) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634845)

In May, a black employee of the Probation Department filed a discrimination complaint..."This individual felt that it was offensive and inappropriate ... given the experiences that this country has gone through in respect to slavery,"
Oh, that "master" and "slave".

I guess it all depends on where your mind is. That's not the "master" and "slave" I think of when I hear "master" and "slave"...I was thinking more along the lines of, say, "dom" and "sub" which hardly offends anybody.

Re:Master and Slave (2, Funny)

bgog (564818) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634998)

I need to get on the sue crazy stuff. I'm very offended the I am forced to insert the 'Male' end of my rj45 into the female jack. I feel so dirty and my mother woldn't approve. 555-lawer here I come.

i would think linux is 100% (1)

fermion (181285) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634856)

I would think that spammers would use 100% non-ms solutions. After all they know exactly what kind of security risks MS software presents. And one would assume that they would to protect themselves against thier own and competitors spam.

Perhaps the spam industry is run by the PHB as well, and the demand for 100% MS, no matter what, is just a prevalent.

Embarrassing PR backlash ? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634894)

Of the three links there, one is to slashdot which can hardly be considered unbiased when it comes to Microsoft PR, the second is a expo diary from a KDE developer that only mentions it, and the third is a summary of the second one.

It's so embarassing when PR wannabe's try to spin.

Re:Embarrassing PR backlash ? (2, Insightful)

shaitand (626655) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635212)

Actually I've found that 90% of slashdots population is composed of Microsoft supporting fantatics who run around claiming that Microsoft is a beautiful archangel from above and that they are oppressed by the anti-microsoft fantatics.

So in the meantime, they mod up these posts about their complaints and mod those who have had a better experience with other operating systems like linux and BSD (granted, that's pretty much everyone who has used them for more than a year) into a mudhole.

Slashdot articles in general are basically a mix, some pro microsoft, some against, pretty unbiased reporting... it's just that there is more to report that is negative about microsoft than positive.

Linux Spammers (4, Informative)

JLester (9518) | more than 10 years ago | (#7634962)

I had a server that began sending undeliverable messages to my postmaster account that were obviously spams originating from the server itself. I use Debian with Exim set to disable relaying and could not figure out how this occurred. I finally found a couple of strange processes running that apparently were acting as an SMTP reflector of some sort. Computers were sending e-mails to it and it forwarded them out to the proper addresses.

I finally traced it back to an older CGI script on the server that had a few bugs. Luckily they only had access to the /tmp directory, so it was an easy fix after upgrading the script. I never did figure out exactly what the process was doing though and couldn't find anything about on the 'net. This occurred about a year ago.

Jason

Reality and the Matrix (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7634984)

Turns out the matrix does have us. Cancer of the Ego [sendcoffee.com]

the matrix (1)

machine of god (569301) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635080)

Anyone else ever wonder about the software design of the matrix? I mean, a separate program for everything?

Majority of Fortune 1000 runs IIS - followup (1)

|>>? (157144) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635095)

I did some followup on the article and the result is in this month's linmagau:

The article "What if the CIO doesn't know if they're running Linux? [linmagau.org] " is online now.

(PS. If this is familiar, I also noted this under the article Real NTFS.SYS under Linux.)

tsk tsk tsk (2, Funny)

shaitand (626655) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635166)

Since I'm a genetically modified fish with a glowing arse who uses linux to spam, and thus increase sales of my spoof of the microsoft spoof of the matrix which I call "Master/Slave Jumper Settings".

I have to say I find the policies of L.A. County and the State of California to be Discriminatory.

Where's the "embarrassing PR backlash"? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#7635187)

Wow, if that isn't an overstatement!

Someone's blog and an article in linuxworld can hardly, HARDLY be called an embarrassing backlash.

Please, just because a couple of linux nerds got their knickers up in a bunch doesn't mean there was even an inkling of a backlash.

Please, let's not engage in stupid hyperbole... it just makes us real Linux supporters look like overreacting assholes.

Oh NO!!! (1)

jetkust (596906) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635190)

...I've fallen into a plot hole and I can't get up!!
-Matrix Trilogy

use color coding instead of Master and slave (4, Funny)

Lehk228 (705449) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635338)

I was thinking make the "master" device beige and the "slave" devices black, that way the master devices would stand out..... oh wait... that probably wouldn't reduce the offensiveness would it.... but it would be funny as hell in an extreamly offensive way and teach whoever started the whole thing not to be stupid.

Awww MAN! (WRT54G) (2, Informative)

Matey-O (518004) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635366)

The lastest firmware plugs the hole you can use to play around with the linux distro on the router. :(

Map of the Internet (1)

quantaman (517394) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635370)

Hey I can see my website from here [easynews.com] !!!

(it's the one with the dot)

How about a color map of a dark internet? (1)

avoisin (105703) | more than 10 years ago | (#7635474)

I like the spider web looking maps of the internet that are thrown around every now and then. But I think it would be far more interesting to see a map of what it looked like during the last major northeast blackout. It would perhaps be a good show of just how capable the internet really is of rerouting itself.
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