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Perl Haiku Poetry Contest

CowboyNeal posted more than 10 years ago | from the unnatural-language-processing dept.

Perl 306

ActiveState writes "Tell us why you love Perl. ActiveState is pleased to announce the ActiveState Perl Haiku Poetry Contest. Do you love Perl as much as we do? Then prove it with your passion, creativity, and wit! Categories include Best Haiku Poem Written in Perl and Best Haiku Poem About Perl. All entries will be featured on our website. Winners will be selected by ActiveState's Perl development team. Prizes will be awarded for the top three entries in each category and include licenses for ASPN Perl featuring Komodo Professional Edition, and cool ActiveState gear. The deadline for entries is 12:00PM PST, February 8, 2004. Winners will be announced on February 10. Full contest rules are also online. Good luck!"

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306 comments

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Number 1 (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062955)

Thats me.. the boring troll.

Re:Number 1 (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063003)

Last night I fucked CmdrTaco IN THE ASS.

Katz watched.

w0rd up, GNAA!

fp.pl? (5, Funny)

CptChipJew (301983) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062958)

open(heart_to_perl);
content-type: haiku/firstpost;
or die "i fail it";

Re:fp.pl? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062986)

Did you want first post?
Alas, it wasn't to be
Try python next time

Re:fp.pl? (3, Funny)

Frymaster (171343) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063006)

and now for something obvious...

it is powerful
it extracts and it reports
and it's a language

Re:fp.pl? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063062)

A language you say? Doubtful, gibberish perhaps. Debugging, -> brain fail.

Re:fp.pl?(with line breaks) (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063075)

A language you say?
Doubtful, gibberish perhaps.
Debugging, -> brain fail.

Re:fp.pl? (-1, Troll)

rice_web (604109) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063100)




it is better
it does work and does more
it is PHP


Re:fp.pl? (1)

dollar4bill (569406) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063052)

Can I use that?

Re:fp.pl? (2)

WhiteBandit (185659) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063079)

Perl hurts my head.
Some say it is a language,
but we know the truth!

Flaming newbies (2, Funny)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062962)

Damn CLPM
I just wanted to know how
to run CGI

Join the Simoniker Fan Club! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062967)

SFC (SIMONIKER FAN CLUB) is the first organization which
gathers SIMONIKER FANS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being SIMONIKER FANS.

Are you INTELLIGENT?
Are you a SLASHDOT READER?
Are you an INTELLIGENT SLASHDOT READER?

If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, then the SFC (SIMIONIKER FAN CLUB) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join SFC (SIMONIKER FAN CLUB ) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time SFC member.
SFC (SIMONIKER FAN CLUB ) is the fastest-growing SIMONIKER FAN community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America. You, too, can be a part of SFC if you join today!

Why not? It's quick and easy - only 2 simple steps!

First, you have to obtain a copy of Simonikers list of stories [slashdot.org] and read them.

Second, you need to join the official SFC irc channel #SFC on EFNet, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!

If you are having trouble locating #SFC, the official SIMONIKER FAN CLUB irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is EFNet, and you can connect to irc.secsup.org or irc.isprime.com as one of the EFNet servers.

If you have mod points and would like to support SFC, please moderate this post up.

This post brought to you by a proud member of SFC

Question.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062974)

Is Perl one syllabyl or two?? And how do you spell syllabyl?

Ugh... this poetry stuff makes my hair hurt.

Re:Question.... (1)

CptChipJew (301983) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062979)

Perl - one syllable
syllable :D

Re:Question.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063015)

How do you pronounce it... two syllables as in " Per' ruhl "? That's fucked up.

Re:Question.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063193)

Well, he might be from the South.

More flaming (5, Insightful)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062976)

"Perl" not "PERL", bozo
Capital P E R L
not acceptable

Re:More flaming (2, Funny)

theycallmeB (606963) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063135)

I take you have been laying in wait for years now, preparing your lines, knowing that there would come a day...
a day when Slashdot would combine Perl and haiku...

Revel in now 'cause it will never come again.

That is until next week when it gets duped.

Re:More flaming (1)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063154)

Perl Haikus are easy
Just think of those condescen-
ding UNIX users.

Re:More flaming (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063185)

Mod this post troll. He ripped the haiku off from this page [crazyninjas.org] .

perl (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062978)



you know it.

i heard mama and papa talking (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062981)

papa told mama
let that boy boogie woogie

well i felt so good
and i went on boogie'in just the same

Right, bring it on. (3, Funny)

CoolVibe (11466) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062987)

Haiku deluge
Slashdot posts again
Now I am scared

Re:Right, bring it on. (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062998)

The middle line has to be 7 syllables to be proper haiku.

All about Haiku [toyomasu.com]

Re:Right, bring it on. (5, Informative)

lambent (234167) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063162)

actually, there are several forms of haiku. Aside from the slightly more wild 7-9-7 and 7-21-7 we studied in my long forgotten college writing seminars .... haiku is more about style than structure. Small miscalculations in syllable counts were overlooked by the ancient masters. Indeed, dialect changed so rapidly over distances that pronunciations often changed. (imagine aluminum vs aluminium) And indeed, if you need to judge poetry using algorithmic rules, you're truly missing the point. For more information, check out this sweet right up at: Haiku@E2 [everything2.com]

Re:Right, bring it on. (4, Funny)

Mantorp (142371) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063164)

which SAT score
would haiku writer miss more
written part or math

Re:Right, bring it on. (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063300)

Aside from inevitable aesthetic questions about what "proper" haiku is, there many linguistic reasons to abandon the requirement of 5-7-5 form.

Japanese is a different language than English, and a given metrical structure in one language does not translate well into the other. For this reason, it is often argued [pacific.net.sg] that English constructions should actually abandon the traditional Japanese form to maintain equivalence. For one thing, word structure is different in Japanese and English, and 17 syllables in one is not 17 syllables in the other, so to speak.

Re:Right, bring it on. (3, Funny)

CoolVibe (11466) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063044)

Right, not proper haiku, let's try again:

Slashdot posts again Watch the haiku deluge flow I cover my ears

Re:Right, bring it on. (1)

CoolVibe (11466) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063060)

Whoops, forgot linebreaks...

Slashdot posts again
Watch the haiku deluge flow
I cover my ears

Re:Right, bring it on. (4, Funny)

Senjutsu (614542) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063227)

You suck at Haiku
Everyone now sees your shame
How shall I end this?

Other flames (5, Funny)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062988)

Purl Gurl, Gozilla
Same person behind the name
Uri, do you care?

#1 reason to like Perl (-1, Troll)

superpulpsicle (533373) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062989)

It's not from Microsoft. Go ahead gimme that -5 troll you M$ fanboys.

Fuck haiku (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8062991)

Fuck all your haiku
I just can't stand reading them
Don't you know they suck?

the real contest (5, Funny)

b17bmbr (608864) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062993)

if you were a real perl hacker, your script would be one line and generate its own haikus.

Re:the real contest (4, Funny)

Frymaster (171343) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063021)

sorry windows guy
perl trix are for unix kids
try vb perhaps?

Re:the real contest (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063267)

nice

fuck all your haikus (-1, Redundant)

kaltkalt (620110) | more than 10 years ago | (#8062997)

Fuck all your haikus
I can't stand reading them all
Don't you know they blow?

Beer with Stonehenge (0, Offtopic)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063005)

We went to Hooters
The cute waitress sold her shirt
One more wings plate, please.

Perl is for sloppy coders (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063007)

Haikus are so gay
They are just shitty poems
Invented by japs

too hard (5, Funny)

utahjazz (177190) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063010)

haiku is too hard
i can never remember
how many syllables you are supposed to put in each line

groan (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063011)

5 7 5 right?
or whatever
bah

More like pseudo-Perl (4, Informative)

3-State Bit (225583) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063012)

IIRC Perl poetry does not need to be valid Perl, let alone have an interesting effect, but merely interesting English that happens to use only Perl keywords.

Re:More like pseudo-Perl (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063033)

IIRC Perl poetry does not need to be valid Perl, let alone have an interesting effect, but merely interesting English that happens to use only Perl keywords.

Why don't you RTFA, so you wouldn't have to recall incorrectly?

How do you pronounce.... (4, Funny)

Mrs. Grundy (680212) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063024)

I've almost got a winner but what I really need to know, is how many syllables are there in: $_=~/[a-z]['")]*[.!?]+['")]*\s/g)

Perl Poetry (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063025)

Back in university I did a double major in Computer Science and Literature (there were not many in both programs!). I used to write Perl Poetry for fun, not many Haiku's mind you, I tried to make my poems dual purpose, poetry, and perform real work.

I actually wrote a Perl Poetry CGI script [terrato.org] , check the results
And the source (open!) [terrato.org]

FUCK YUO (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063057)

LEADS TO GOATSE

Re:Perl Poetry (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063058)

Hey, that is damn clever!

Cool!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063077)

That is an amazing script!

one more (2, Funny)

CptChipJew (301983) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063026)

Larry Wall made Perl
See the State of the Onion
Go to Wall.org [wall.org]

Perls before swine (1, Flamebait)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063028)

Sand in an oyster
makes pearls. Idea in Lar-
ry's head makes this crap.

Re:Perls before swine (2, Funny)

CptChipJew (301983) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063046)

Larry is funny
His humor is real nerdy
But still, he's married

Need a problem solved? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063035)

Ask -that- guy at work:
"You could just write a Perl script
to do that, you know."

awww man (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063040)

I don't like haiku.
I can never remember
the meter.

Topaz (1)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063042)

Let us rewrite Perl.
Years pass, Topaz does not shine,
but Perl 5 still works

Re:Topaz (1)

CptChipJew (301983) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063064)

I have to agree
Although, PHP zealots
Will just say Perl sucks

Re:Topaz (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063277)

Let us make newer Perl.
But forget our mission,
And start over-optimizing and under-designing a VM which no language will ever run on.

(Well, it started out as a Haiku anyway)

Reminds me of Corn Flakes (5, Funny)

dilby (725275) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063045)

Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl
Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl
Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl



Lamness filter! Damn! Now how do I get past it? Don't know. Just give up.

Re:Reminds me of Corn Flakes (1)

dilby (725275) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063195)

Uncultured, modder.
Has never seen The Young Ones
Modded me as Troll.

slashdot (1)

zzxc (635106) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063061)

post(slashdotstory);
sleep(86400);
post(slashdot story);

Introspective Haiku (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063068)

First, five syllables
Then seven quickly follow
Plus five more, Haiku

A variation (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063243)

Take five syllables
Add seven more, then five more
Maybe now haiku

Crazy Australians (1)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063071)

In constant time with
Quantum::Superpositions
Cops seek Damian

haiku (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063084)

PERL licks hairy balls
It should not be used at all
Death to Larry Wall!

Perl 4te my b4allz (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063085)

Haiku's are so teh sux0r
ghey mac faggots will ruin us
Perl is not teh spoek

Confusing features (1)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063089)

Is it just me or
do HERE docs make any sense?
sprintf for me

Re:Confusing features (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063268)

An ugly syntax
Made up for by not having
To quote everything

Re:Confusing features (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063296)

Kinda interesting
Differences between people
I say it 'sprint-f'

Help me out, I only have one line so far... (-1, Flamebait)

Clockwurk (577966) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063101)

perl is for faggots

Here's the rest (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063130)

Clockwurk loves to code in perl
Therefore, he is gay

next two lines (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063165)

flamebait ruins karma
Clockwurk cries

Perl in the real world (5, Funny)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063115)

Wrote a script in May
The damn program broke today
Can't grok my own code

Re:Perl in the real world (1)

chromatic (9471) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063152)

Whose fault could that be?
Next time, use some discipline
I suggest Test::More [cpan.org]

(Maybe the hyperlink is cheating.)

mmm..... (4, Funny)

nutznboltz (473437) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063118)

absurd elephantine interpreter
each version incompatible with the last
god how i luv it

mod_perl (1)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063131)

I wrote a program
Load it with mod_perl... what the.?
Why doesn't it work?

Re:mod_perl (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063155)

Maybe your shebang?
That is kind of important
Or else Perl will die

My haiku actually does something (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063137)

while S T D IN
print dollar sign underscore
close curly bracket

[5,7,5] my sub-mission (1)

NightLamp (556303) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063143)

perls are like gems
darwin can't make a mistake

with perl we win

System maintenance (5, Funny)

Anomalous Cowturd (673181) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063146)

foreach keys %problems
delete $problems{$_}
Life should work like that

why perl should not be used to write software (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063150)

This post is timely!
I was just telling my boss
that Perl is bad.

The language is great.
Expressiveness *and* power.
bitch to maintain tho.

and they write haiku
in this programming language?
boss, I rest my case.

Re:why perl should not be used to write software (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063299)

Good code is written
Not becuase of the language
Find better hackers

Mmm, interpreted languages! (4, Insightful)

adrianbaugh (696007) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063156)

Autumn: perl script starts
C program runs so quickly
Perl not done by spring!

On the other hand...

Perl script written fast
Overflows still plague C code
After many moons.

Haiki rules (5, Informative)

Larry David (738420) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063157)

I looked through their rules, and even on their entry form and it just says haiki in the 'traditional 3-line format'. But I see no rules over syllables. Many people mistakenly believe haiki should be a fixed number of syllables, i.e. 5, 7, and then 5 again. But this only applies to Japanese, where a syllable can punch a lot more weight than in English. 'Traditionally' haiki also feature an element of the weather.

Here's what the Oxford Dictionary folk have to say:

The Japanese haiku must include kigo (season word). This is a convention in the Japanese art of haiku. But English haiku has no such word. Moreover, composers of English haiku are not required to strictly observe the 17 syllable rule. The Japanese haiku is written in a single line, but the English haiku is divided into three lines.

It would have been nice if their rules could have had some tips for pedants like me. Do they demand 5/7/5? I am guessing not. If they wanted to get all traditional on our asses they could demand 17 kanji symbols, and I don't know how you can code:
$x = "sck sck fe dolr";
$x =~ s/sc/suc/g; $x =~ s/fe/5/g; $x =~ s/l/lla/;
$x .= "luv u " . localtime();
in Kanji.

Re:Haiki rules (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063189)

I think you will find that
there is more
than one way to do it

Stupid Contest (1)

AnotherFreakboy (730662) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063160)

For anyone that read the Terms and Conditions:

Yanks and Canucks may
enter. To do so you must
{insert URL}

At least it compiles... (0)

Megaslow (694447) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063171)

my $balls = "are itchy"
and "they are turning to red";
warn "girlfriend of crabs";

Apologies in advance (0, Offtopic)

r_j_prahad (309298) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063173)

Author Randall Schwartz Was penning his next Perl book When Intel "penned" him.

Re:Apologies in advance (1)

r_j_prahad (309298) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063188)

Author Randall Schwartz
Was penning his next Perl book
When Intel "penned" him.


(important: always use the !@#$% Preview button...)

Re:Apologies in advance (5, Funny)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063200)

One 'l' in Randal
Like there's one 'l' in Larry
RTFM, Newb.

ooh ooh, can I play too?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063180)

need beautiful code?
leave poems to English Majors..
teach yourself Ruby!

Off the top of my head (1, Funny)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063186)

Hash, pound, bang, and slash
Why does Perl sound so angry?
The Parrot will die.

Hailku defined? (4, Interesting)

OzPeter (195038) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063191)

With all the Haiku posts, I decided to head off to google and see what actually makes Haiku. My feeling was the 5-7-5 plus indication of a season.

Seems that I am slightly wrong. The 5-7-5 syllabal grouping is accepted to be a Japanese convention where those breaks match the structure of that language. In other languages the the 5-7-5 doesn't fit as well, so you seem to be able to do what you want.

Also the Haiku is generally considered to be an expression of direct experience with out attached emotion. So similie, metaphor and anthropomorphism do not see, to be well regarded.

Two links that I just found and read are:
The definition of Haiku [pacific.net.sg] by Alexey Andreyev.
Another Attempt To Define Haiku [ahapoetry.com] by Jane Reichhold.

-----------
Is there another word for synonym??

Re:Hailku defined? (2, Funny)

goldfndr (97724) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063275)

In other words, perhaps...

Contest is a sham!
They don't define a haiku!
We're not mindreaders!

My Entry (5, Funny)

Sideshow Coward (732864) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063207)

My entry for this contest will be in iambic pentameter. And they better accept it because, in Perl, there is always more than one way to do it.

Activestate? (1)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063231)

If I win can I
get a job at Activestate
and weed in BC?

Readability... (5, Funny)

goldfndr (97724) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063242)

Larry Wall's language
is not obfuscatory.
Just need more coffee.

what is haiku? (1)

zlel (736107) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063247)

Sum-mer dies a-gain
V-B has a new re-lease
Perl still works just fine

I've been feeling very strange about English Haiku for a long while... cos i think traditional Haiku, pays attention not just to the syllabus, but more importantly, to the elements of the season. ah well, maybe it's just me.

So wise (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063248)

In the first green time
youth disdains simplicity
wisdom leads to perl

Re:So wise (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8063306)

Howling wind, deep snows
lost again, code like line noise
the wise use python

yes, aren't i lame (1)

ev1lcanuck (718766) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063257)

I cannot write about perl For I do not know it and fear it'll make me hurl

nostalgia (1)

bennomatic (691188) | more than 10 years ago | (#8063263)

Remember when Perl
was the language of choice for
lazy programmers?
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