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Hours and hours (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207246)

This has been on google for hours! come on /., waht gives!!!!

Re:Hours and hours (0, Flamebait)

Supp0rtLinux (594509) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207393)

And I'll bet that literally 1000's of people submitted link and posts but only one was picked. Kind of like the voting system on survivor... keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

John "Eff'ing" Kerry (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207401)

ONE of the surest ways to get the phones ringing on any Massachusetts talk-radio show is to ask people to call in and tell their John Kerry stories. The phone lines are soon filled, and most of the stories have a common theme: our junior senator pulling rank on one of his constituents, breaking in line, demanding to pay less (or nothing) or ducking out before the bill arrives.

The tales often have one other common thread. Most end with Sen. Kerry inquiring of the lesser mortal: "Do you know who I am?"

And now he's running for president as a populist. His first wife came from a Philadelphia Main Line family worth $300 million. His second wife is a pickle-and-ketchup heiress.

Kerry lives in a mansion on Beacon Hill on which he has borrowed $6 million to finance his campaign. A fire hydrant that prevented him and his wife from parking their SUV in front of their tony digs was removed by the city of Boston at his behest.

The Kerrys ski at a spa the widow Heinz owns in Aspen, and they summer on Nantucket in a sprawling seaside "cottage" on Hurlbert Avenue, which is so well-appointed that at a recent fund-raiser, they imported porta-toilets onto the front lawn so the donors wouldn't use the inside bathrooms. (They later claimed the decision was made on septic, not social, considerations).

It's a wonderful life these days for John Kerry. He sails Nantucket Sound in "the Scaramouche," a 42-foot Hinckley powerboat. Martha Stewart has a similar boat; the no-frills model reportedly starts at $695,000. Sen. Kerry bought it new, for cash.

Every Tuesday night, the local politicians here that Kerry elbowed out of his way on his march to the top watch, fascinated, as he claims victory in more primaries and denounces the special interests, the "millionaires" and "the overprivileged."

"His initials are JFK," longtime state Senate President William M. Bulger used to muse on St. Patrick's Day, "Just for Kerry. He's only Irish every sixth year." And now it turns out that he's not Irish at all.

But in the parochial world of Bay State politics, he was never really seen as Irish, even when he was claiming to be (although now, of course, he says that any references to his alleged Hibernian heritage were mistakenly put into the Congressional Record by an aide who apparently didn't know that on his paternal side he is, in fact, part-Jewish).

Kerry is, in fact, a Brahmin - his mother was a Forbes, from one of Massachusetts' oldest WASP families. The ancestor who wed Ralph Waldo Emerson's daughter was marrying down.

At the risk of engaging in ethnic stereotyping, Yankees have a reputation for, shall we say, frugality. And Kerry tosses around quarters like they were manhole covers. In 1993, for instance, living on a senator's salary of about $100,000, he managed to give a total of $135 to charity.

Yet that same year, he was somehow able to scrape together $8,600 for a brand-new, imported Italian motorcycle, a Ducati Paso 907 IE. He kept it for years, until he decided to run for president, at which time he traded it in for a Harley-Davidson like the one he rode onto "The Tonight Show" set a couple of months ago as Jay Leno applauded his fellow Bay Stater.

Of course, in 1993 he was between his first and second heiresses - a time he now calls "the wandering years," although an equally apt description might be "the freeloading years."

For some of the time, he was, for all practical purposes, homeless. His friends allowed him into a real-estate deal in which he flipped a condo for quick resale, netting a $21,000 profit on a cash investment of exactly nothing. For months he rode around in a new car supplied by a shady local Buick dealer. When the dealer's ties to a congressman who was later indicted for racketeering were exposed, Kerry quickly explained that the non-payment was a mere oversight, and wrote out a check.

In the Senate, his record of his constituent services has been lackluster, and most of his colleagues, despite their public support, are hard-pressed to list an accomplishment. Just last fall, a Boston TV reporter ambushed three congressmen with the question, name something John Kerry has accomplished in Congress. After a few nervous giggles, two could think of nothing, and a third mentioned a baseball field, and then misidentified Kerry as "Sen. Kennedy."

Many of his constituents see him in person only when he is cutting them in line - at an airport, a clam shack or the Registry of Motor Vehicles. One talk-show caller a few weeks back recalled standing behind a police barricade in 2002 as the Rolling Stones played the Orpheum Theater, a short limousine ride from Kerry's Louisburg Square mansion.

The caller, Jay, said he began heckling Kerry and his wife as they attempted to enter the theater. Finally, he said, the senator turned to him and asked him the eternal question.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Yeah," said Jay. "You're a gold-digger."

A NURSE BUST (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207247)

Alisa is a 25 years old nurse working in a big hospital.
She's tall,5 feet 8inches in height. She has a small face and long legs(inseam 2feet 10inches),Long black hair and large eyes.
One morning Alisa entered a sickroom for one person, for a daily medical examination. The patient in that room was a thirty-seven years old man whose name was Sho. Alisa didn't like him, because he always stared at her nice-shaped legs with dirty smile. And he was coercive, and always complained about meals, nurse's attitude toward him, or ect. Sometimes he tried to touch nurse's hips or breast.
"Good morning sir"
Alisa said to Sho who was lying on the bed.
"Let's measure your temperature"
She offered the thermometer to him, and froze in shock.
Sho inserted his right hand in his trunks, and shook his hard-on penis!
"Ah, Alisa"
He laughed continuing masturbation.
"I haven't had sex for weeks. So my penis erects by himself, not by my will. So I do a handjob by myself. You say I must not do this? Or will you suck my cock?"
He roared. Alisa averted her eyes from him and said,
"No.......a....please measure your temperature. I will return soon"
She begun to exit the room, but Sho grabbed her arm by his left hand.
"Wait. Nurse must attend to the patient while daily medical examination?"
He rose shaking his penis.
"Stay here and see my cum!"
"No!"
Alisa turned around and drove her knee to his groin hard.
Sho groaned, opened his mouse wide ,and bent to her. His left hand covered his crushed balls, and right hand reached to Alisa's breast.
"No!"
She screamed and pushed him behind. He fell to the floor on his back, showing his bare cock and scrotum.
"No!"
She screamed thrice, covered her eyes with both her hands, and drove her foot ahead. She felt soft meatballs crushed under her foot.
"Oooooooohhhhhhh!!!!"
Sho roared and rolling here and there on the floor, putting his hands on his crotch, tremblong and sobbing.
"What happened!"
Some doctors and nurses rushed into the room.
Alisa only froze.

Alisa had been dismissed from the hospital.
She insisted that she kicked Sho's testes just for defending herself. But the manager of the hospital only said,
"Why you nurse Sho have due to dare every patients, hurt him!?"
Now she lost her job. She came back to her apartment, sat on the floor weeping for her misfortune for a day.
Next day, she made up her mind. Why she lost her job? It's because of that pervert! So he must suffer a reward, she thought so.

Two weeks later, the day when Sho was to be discharged from the hospital, had come.
Sho got out of the entrance and headed to the parking lot. When he got into his car and started the engine, he found someone was in the rear seat.
"Who's there"
He turned his head and passed out.
Alisa, waiting for him in the rear seat, slammed an iron hammer to his head.
"Sleep well, honey."
She pushed Sho to the assistant seat and begun to bind him by rope.

When Sho awake, he found himself tied up naked on the bed in an unknown room. Alisa, wearing a nurse's white dress, sat on a chair, and said to him:
"Good morning sir. Welcome to my hospital"
"You!"
Sho astonished. The nurse, who kicked my groin hard!
"You bitch!"
He roared.
"What do you mean by this? You kidnapped me? Release me quick, or you'll be send to the jail!"
"O.K. I'll release you after a little operation"
"Operation? What operation?"
"Operation for get rid of your sexual desire"
"Wh....what do you mean?"
"Maybe it will give you a little pain, but do not be afraid. After the operation you never shall do such a sexual-harassment as you did to me before"
She rose up and approached him.
"Are you prepared?"
"You bitch! Suck my asshole"
Immediately she punched his testes.
"Ooooohhhh!!!"
He groaned for pain. She punched his balls again.
"Nooooohhhh!!!"
He screamed. Tears flood from his eyes.
"Please.....no...."
"I said no earlier in the hospital, but you continued to masturbate. So I will continue to bust your fucking BALLS!"
Alisa slammed her knee to his groin hard. Sho bent back and shook his body tremblingly.
"You cry? Sorry to do this operation without anesthesia"
She kneed his already crushed balls again.
He could not even scream, only tremble in tremendous agony.
"Oh, you do not move or scream? Female's knees, kicks and punches are most effective anesthesia, you knew that"
She giggled and stood on the bed.
"And female's heel"
She stomped his swollen balls by her bear heel. He shook his head heavily, but could not resist. By one step on his ball, horrible pain run through the hole body of him.
"And female's finger"
She pinched his right ball and nailed hard.
"Aaaaaaaa!!!!!!"
He screamed.
"Nooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"
And he passed out.

When he awakened, he was standing up. His body was tied to the wall by ropes.
"Good morning sir. How you feel now?"
Alisa stood before him smiling.
"You......fucking bitch....."
Sho muttered. Alisa slapped his face hard. Sho cried.
"How's the result of the operation"
She reached to his penis and stroked skillfully.
His cock begun to rose hard-on.
"Oh! You haven't be healed yet!"
@ Saying so, Alisa kneed his swollen scrotum.
"Ahhhhhhhh!!!"
Sho cried out and began to sob. His penis contracted again.
"I heard some guys erect their cocks when kicked in his groin, but you're not like them."
She begun to stroke his penis again. Then it started to erect.
"Not yet!"
She shouted and kneed his groin hard.
"P....please......"
He groaned sobbing.
"Please, What?"
"D..do not..do that"
"Do what? Do this?"
She kneed his nuts again harder.
"Y....YES!"
"I do!"
She said.
"I do this repeatedly, since your sexual desire has gone"
"Please!"
He cried.
"I...I...."
"Uh-huh?"
"I...will never harass any women anymore....."
"I cannot believe sev-hara guy like you"
She stroked his cock with her knee. His cock grew hard again.
"See this!"
She stepped back and kicked his cock hard.
"You're an animal! You're a pervert!"
She drove a swift kick to his balls.
"You need operation more!"
She kicked hard again.
"D...Do not, please......I feel sick"
"Because you ARE sick!"
Alisa pinched his nose hard and punched his belly. She picked up something from her pocket. It was a needle.
She kneeled and put the needle to his right ball.
"Noooooooohhhh!!!!"
He knew what she was going to do, and cried out.
"Pleeeeaaaaaase!!!!"
She stabbed the needle through his right ball. Sho roared, trembled horribly, and passed out.
Alisa picked up another needle, and stabbed it through the left ball. She smiled wickedly. Her cunt was already wet.

The next day, Sho was found mad in his car. His balls were perfectly crushed and popped. He was sent to surgical hospital, and after the operation, he will be passed to a Mental hospital.
Alisa found a new job and new custom. A week later, a guy found in his car, with his balls stabbed by one dozen needles.

The End

Re:A NURSE BUST (-1, Offtopic)

Supp0rtLinux (594509) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207354)

Thanks so much for that little tidbit. There's nothing like getting aroused while reading about SCO... though the underside of my desk isn't all that comfortable. At least when I'm watching my DVDs, I roll back a bit first. You're little story caught me so offguard that now the top of my dick is bruised.

Re:A NURSE BUST (-1, Offtopic)

Uber Banker (655221) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207453)

OT but a great story, thanks. I couldn't help thinking it was Korean-based, was it?

Bluff bluff bluff (4, Insightful)

grub (11606) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207252)


SCO's lawyers are practicing the tried & true method of Throw Enough Shit Against the Wall and Some of It Will Stick.

They know it's a poor case they have so they keep adding more and more claims to their position along with the necessary bravado stupid investors have come to love.

Re:Bluff bluff bluff (5, Funny)

Deitheres (98368) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207321)

The problem comes when the owner of the wall has coated it with teflon.

Re:Bluff bluff bluff (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207504)

The problem comes when the owner of the wall has coated it with teflon.

Perhaps they're counting on people not caring that it is coated with teflon and refusing to eat anything that is cooked on that wall afterwards.

Re:Bluff bluff bluff (5, Informative)

FatRatBastard (7583) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207440)

The big news the Slashdot post seems to have missed is that:

SCO HAS DROPPED THEIR TRADE SECRET CLAIM

Remember when this crap all began Darl's mantra was "It isn't about copyright, its about trade secrets." Well, apparently not any more. Highly suggest parusing Groklaw for some great coverage. IBM's court filings from yesterday are brilliant.

Re:Bluff bluff bluff (5, Interesting)

FatRatBastard (7583) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207479)

Oh, and I should add that the copyright infrigement isn't about Linux, its about AIX being distributed by IBM after SCO revoked their license.

But remember, SCO revoked IBM's license due to trade secret violation...

Violations that SCO isn't going to legally persue

Which rhymes with Catch 22

Which sums up SCO's claims now quite nicely.

You'd think... (4, Funny)

grasshoppa (657393) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207257)

...they'd have to ask Novell's permission before they go sue IBM for Novell's copyrights. ;)

Re:You'd think... (5, Interesting)

Supp0rtLinux (594509) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207444)

So the question is... will Novell sit on the SCO side of the courtroom or the IBM side? Better yet... if Novell is claiming they own the copyright, won't the Novell/SCO issue have to be resolved before the now ammended complaint against IBM can be resolved? My understanding is that once a case is ammended, it must be resolved in full. SCO can't now try to get the contract dispute handled separate from the copyright issue, but the copyright issue is still just that... an pending issue. It'd be pretty sad if SCO had to first deal with Novell, then IBM. They might run out of money first... then they have to start selling the Linux and Unix again.

Old News (0, Funny)

Shdwdrgn (162364) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207258)

Already read this on Groklaw :-)

Re:Old News (5, Insightful)

spanklin (710953) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207294)

Already read this on Groklaw

If we apply that standard to /., wouldn't 99.9% of the stories go away? How many of them start with "NYTimes is reporting... According to CNN.com..."

Re:Old News (1)

Shdwdrgn (162364) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207314)

Haha ok you got me. But still...

Re:Old News (1)

Jondor (55589) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207342)

Maybe, on the other side it used to be that I read things first on /. But nowadays a lot of the news is at least a week old.. (that is, if it isn't a repost..;)
But it must be a quiet day as this item was quickly posted..

Re:Old News (4, Insightful)

teeker (623861) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207447)

Awww c'mon now, /. is not really a news site in the same way that CNN is a news site- it's an aggregation of news stories FROM places like CNN and NYT. The reason it exists to funnel stories that are interesting to the geek community, and give them a forum to discuss them. And the occasional editorial/review/whatever. The object of /. really isn't to scoop real news sites, so quit whining about it!

Just a thought. (2, Funny)

DarkHelmet (120004) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207263)

Okay...

It's obvious that SCO is not only wanting to raise its stock price, but it's hoping to be bought out by some of the bigger fish out there to possibly placate them.

My suggestion... How about we do as they say and buy them out just to shut them up.

I propose that the mods of Slashdot start a fund called the "Buy out SCO so they can shut the fsck up" fund. If we all paypal a couple of dollars into the pot, we can use it in order to help buy out SCO so that we can go on as usual without all this SCO gibberish.

An added benefit would be to get Slashdot Subscription pages for every dollar we donate to the cause. That will make some of the more geeky of us choose to help. Not like we wouldn't help anyway :).

Of course, when SCO loses their case, it will become significantly easier to buy the company since their stock will be worth about 1/10th of a cent. At that point, us Slashdot users will be able to make McBride our own personal bitch, and everyone will be happy still.

Hurry though! Before Microsoft chooses to buy out SCO before we can.

Just a thought. Continue as normal.

Re:Just a thought. (5, Insightful)

Shdwdrgn (162364) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207296)

The problem is that if someone were to actually buy SCO, it would set a dangerous precedent and other failing compaines would be sure to follow.

No the only way to put an end to this is to make sure that SCO goes down in a ball of fire that can be seen around the world.

Re:Just a thought. (1)

Pakaran2 (138209) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207331)

Hmm... How do we make SCO go down in a ball of fire? I remember in my BBS days in elementary school there were a lot of plans for bombs and stuff, but my dad told me those were fake! :)

Re:Just a thought. (1)

Carnildo (712617) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207438)

Hmm... How do we make SCO go down in a ball of fire? I remember in my BBS days in elementary school there were a lot of plans for bombs and stuff, but my dad told me those were fake! :)

Google is your friend. There are plenty of workable plans out there for building atom bombs: see, for example, http://winn.com/bs/atombomb.html

We could do both (1)

(void*) (113680) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207390)

Add to the fund. Then when their stock tanks, buy them out, bankrupt Darl, and do nasty things to them.

Re:Just a thought. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207491)

How about the OSDN buys out the SCO and then GPLs all of the UNIX code that's not already? That's the biggest ball of fire I could think of, and we could use it to keep ourselves warm.

Re:Just a thought. (5, Insightful)

HiThere (15173) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207511)

Actually, for this to be a proper example, there also needs to be an attachment of Darl's private fortunes. If the CEO can get away with his pockets full, then it isn't much of an example. If a company is dying, the CEO doesn't care about the company, he cares about himself. So unless you ensure that HE has to pay, you haven't discouraged copycats very effectively.

$1.6B and dropping fast... (1)

NotQuiteReal (608241) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207355)

Just to feed the joke I looked up the stock... Total market cap for SCO is $1.6B... how many ./-ers are there?

Hey, wait a minute... Div %13.6 - PE 4.6... crap I need to buy some of this!

lol

Re:$1.6B and dropping fast... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207435)

Market cap is actually $190M. If they were a $1.6B company then their stock price would be just around ~$116 right now.

Re:Just a thought. (0, Offtopic)

GMFTatsujin (239569) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207360)

The new kernel is coming soon... but Slashdot subscribers can crush kernel.org right now!

Re:Just a thought. (2, Insightful)

CoreDump (1715) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207370)

How about not encouraging exactly this sort of behaviour, by taking the moral position not to cave in to it.

It *is* worth standing up for what is right, no matter the cost.

Be real (5, Insightful)

Sangloth (664575) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207379)

Suppose some terrorists took innocent hostages in order to exchance them for known terrorists in prison, and demanded an exchance. If we actually went though with the exchance, it would be a short term good at a severe long term cost when more groups of innocent people are taken hostage by other groups.

Buying out the SCO would encourage more bad behaviour. Better to stick this through, no matter what the cost. It may be messy in the short term, but in the long term it will dissuade this sor tof behaviour.

Sangloth
I'd appreciate any comment with a logical basis...it doesn't even have to agree with me.

Re:Just a thought. (4, Insightful)

Westech (710854) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207404)

It's obvious that SCO is not only wanting to raise its stock price, but it's hoping to be bought out by some of the bigger fish out there to possibly placate them.

Let's hope Microsoft doesn't clue into this. Their best strategy right now might be to buy out SCO (along with their IP claims) and just throw an insane amuont of money and lawyers into these lawsuits. If a tiny flea like SCO can create this much FUD, imagine what MS could do.

Re:Just a thought. (5, Insightful)

HiThere (15173) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207553)

MS won't buy. If they did, they'd purchase the legal liabilities as well as the benefits. And then IBM would dig in for damages. And lots of contingency lawyers would start courting everyone who ever contributed anything to the kernel. And every company that did consulting in Linux.

No. There was a good reason that MS wanted this kept at arms length. If they wanted closer ties, they could have had them cheaply a year ago. (All they needed to do is offer to guarantee 4 profitable quarters and Darl would have done nearly anything.)

Re:Just a thought. (2, Insightful)

aquabat (724032) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207463)

Ohhhh, that suggestion just pushed my hate button. I swear my skin is trying to crawl off my body right now, just thinking about it. There is no way I will ever give my lunch money to this bully.

Re:Just a thought. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207465)

Or you could just turn to your favorite broker and request to buy this [yahoo.com] with no Slashdot funds or Paypal schemes.

Another? (5, Funny)

paranode (671698) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207270)

Adding a copyright infringement claim? They wouldn't dare!

Re:Another? (-1, Flamebait)

Silent Plummet (715802) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207384)

UNIX is for eunuchs.

Re:Another? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207417)

Another? They never actually made one the first time around (it was only a contract dispute).

Yes, I know that Darl said a lot of things contrary to that, but he is not talking out of his mouth (if you get what I mean) and he hasn't been for some time now...

This illustrates exactly why it is improper to discuss pending litigation...

Go SCO! (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207272)

As a shareholder and a proud parent of a shareholder of SCO Group International, I welcome this step. With millions of Linux systems installed over the world, the value of the company that sells $699 licenses is within billions of dollars.

Let's make SCO the largest company on the planet and show those boys from Redmond how Windoze is buggy and insecure! Let's sell more SCO-compliant Linux boxes! Go Linux! Go SCO!

Re:Go SCO! (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207329)

True!

It's well know that kernel of the Linux operating system was written by young consultant Darl McBride while in college. He left it on the FTP server only to see some Finnish jerks download it and rename it. This chart undoubtedly proves that SCO has a stable position in the market and that Wall Street rewards young entrepreneurs with the guts to go against big guys like IBM [yahoo.com] , even though Slashdot has a heard mentality and would support IBM on any issue.

Re:Go SCO! (0)

Talrias (705583) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207414)

Was it called McBridex?

Did you see what I did there!!

Re:Go SCO! (1)

Dasaan (644170) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207485)

I prefer this [yahoo.com] one.

The SCO Group Exchanges Series A Convertible Prefe (1)

winse (39597) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207552)

I know this is slashdot, but is there anyone out there that can explain what this [yahoo.com] article is saying in moron english? (my vernacular)

Not good. (-1, Flamebait)

Geoffd1 (466931) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207273)

Though I'm sure Linux Torvalds is SCO scared he's crying in Corn Pops, the fact that SCO is actually finding potential basis for more damage is worrying - this doesn't help IBM's market value, and may further discourage other corporations from seriously investing in Linus.

Re:Not good. (1)

DR SoB (749180) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207415)

Just wait until the counter suits begin after SCO loses.. SCO will be driven under, and IBM's share (after taking a small hit) would be in a good position to climb. In fact, timing that right you might be able to make a pretty penny. ;)

New Additions to SCO's Legal Team (5, Funny)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207284)

In light of new developments, SCO has expanded their legal team to include two well known icons:

Stimpy: "Hey, Ren, if we keep piling things onto the suit, we'll never lose because it'll go on for ever."
Ren: "Stimpy! you're a genious!"
Stimpy: "All we have to do is keep finding investors to underwrite the suits, because if SCO runs out of money we'll have to find someone else to represent."
Ren: "So geet back to woork, you eediot!"

Re:New Additions to SCO's Legal Team (5, Funny)

Pakaran2 (138209) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207449)

They're Darl and the Brain, they're Darl and the Brain, one is a genius, the other is insane, they're Darl, Darl and the Brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain (fade out, and switch to SCO headquarters).

Darl: So, what are going to do tonight, Brain?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Darl, try to sue IBM!
Darl: But we did that already, and we're losing!
Brain: Don't worry, Darl, this time we're going to make it. Using our copyrighted Lunix code, I have created an automatic evidence generator!
***Brain sits down at odd-looking contraption, and types in "cat /dev/urandom > /dev/lp"
***Contraption begins spitting paper.
Brain: Ok, Darl, now you go take this evidence down to legal, and the judge doesn't understand technology, so he'll be impressed at all the evidence we've gathered.
Darl: Okey dokey, Brain, here I go!
***Darl picks up stack of paper, which is covered with vaguely code-like control characters and things, and carries it out door.

***Fade to black
Big scrolling letters appear: In next week's episode, Darl and the Brain try to cope with the discovery that their claimed Lunix code is actually a screenshot from the Ancient Unix version of Nethack - be sure to tune in!

four words (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207285)

SHOW THE FUCKING EVIDENCE

courts (5, Funny)

Dreadlord (671979) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207289)

looks like it won't take long until we see something like this [userfriendly.org] in courts.

Re:courts (2, Funny)

Samrobb (12731) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207336)

Actually, given the amount of acrimony being directed at SCO, I think it will end up more like this [nukees.com] .

Heh. Lawbot 0.92 - so you know it has to be an Open Source project.

Why (-1, Flamebait)

MonkeysKickAss (735143) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207293)

Why must there be so much trouble between big computer companies like IBM, UNIX, and Linux. They should just not bother eachother and stop all of this copyright infringment crap because our courts have better things to do than deal with computer companies copyright lawsuits.

Say what... (1)

slash-tard (689130) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207388)

When did UNIX and Linux become big computer companies?

Re:Why (1)

Penguinshit (591885) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207422)


Well.. one out of three ain't.. well, yes, it is bad.

Kind of reminds me of that Sesame Street bit where they sang "..which of these things does not belong...".

WTH^8 (0, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207300)

What the hell? What happened to the "put up or shut up"? Don't tell me the judge actually bought SCO's argument that IBM has to incriminate themselves! What the hell is going on? Why hasn't this been laughed out of court??

Is someone paying off the judge?!? (*cough* Microsoft *cough*)

[OT] The court hearing today (5, Informative)

e6003 (552415) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207301)

Groklaw has a detailed eye-witness account [groklaw.net] . It seems SCO's new claims might just be about IBM continuing to distribute AIX after SCO "revoked" their license. And apparently IBM's lawyers wiped the floor with SCO's counsel (it wasn't Darl's brother this time!). Great reading - enjoy!

Re:[OT] The court hearing today (5, Funny)

Tackhead (54550) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207524)

> And apparently IBM's lawyers wiped the floor with SCO's counsel

What that IBM lawyer did is an outrage.

I urge every Slashdotter with an ounce of human decency to donate via paypal to PETCF (People for the Ethical Treatment of Courtroom Floors) today.

No courtroom floor should ever have to be subjected to that sort of filth.

Re:[OT] The court hearing today (5, Insightful)

Carnildo (712617) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207571)

I like this quote from Groklaw:

One of the SCO lawyers "...went on to claim that they have identified 400 million lines of Unix code and 300 million lines of Linux code affected, but also admitted that SCO has not submitted everything required by the court order."

Where did they find 300 million lines of Linux code to begin with, much less 300 million infringing lines?

Comply with judge first? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207303)


Shouldn't they be bitch-slapped by the judge for expanding their lawsuit before they can even manage to comply with the judge's original order to "put up or shut up" re: evidence?

Then again I'd noticed that SCOX was about to slip below $13/share yesterday. I guess Yet Another Lawsuit/Press Release was due in order to meet the SCO business cycle.

Extent of copyrights (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207310)

Since M$ owns copyrights to the numbers 0 and 1 (thus covering all binary code), SCO now lays claim to 2 - 127 laying claim to the rest ASCII and all source code.

Oh no! This message is infringing... good thing I posted AC!

Re:Extent of copyrights (2, Funny)

FrancisR (640455) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207430)

Don't worry, you can avoid that by switching to extended characters 128-255 in the new Microsoft ASCII.NET(tm)

Re:Extent of copyrights (2, Funny)

elbarrio (592330) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207441)

ah, yes, but as we all know, all the other numbers can be created from 1's and 0's, so Microsoft still wins out in the end. Maybe they'll even sue SCO over it.

By the way, you should really acknowledge your sources [theonion.com] .

Maybe this'll speed things up (5, Interesting)

Supp0rtLinux (594509) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207313)

This is good news. IBM surely has the money to fight the defense. Granted, who knows... maybe IBM did commit some heinous act of open source, but at least SCO's ammending the copyright issue will bring the entire issue to the forefront and get us all a resolution faster. Certainly, its better than waiting for the breach of contract issue to get resolved, then waiting through a copyright case.

Re:Maybe this'll speed things up (0)

Deitheres (98368) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207391)

I think when SCO got into this whole mess they thought it was going to be an easy thing... now I feel like they are pulling an RIAA ie 'let's just file an arseload of lawsuits and try to frighten people into complying with us'

Just my take on the situation

Retroactive Copyright? (5, Insightful)

Ken D (100098) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207315)


So now they want to claim extra damages for an infringement of "registered" copyright when the registration was filed after the lawsuit? IANAL but this really seems like grasping at straws, otherwise this would always happen in a copyright dispute to get the extra damages.

Plus, doesn't this now potentially get them in trouble with Novell who claims that the copyrights are still theirs? Criminal plagiarism, anybody?

Question (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207324)

Why are stories about the SCO-IBM lawsuit filed under "Your Rights Online"?

Supreme Irony in the Making (5, Interesting)

Mr. Darl McBride (704524) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207325)

IBM has filed NO motions to dismiss. This is pretty much SCO's only out at this point, and IBM aren't offering it.

I'm no lawyer, but so far as I understand, if this carries through and the verdict is against SCO and the judge feels the case had no merit, IBM should be able to turn around and sue for (very significant!) damanges.

The only asset SCO has that's worth dirt right now is UNIX licensing. Wouldn't it be poetic if the outcome of SCO's market gaming were that IBM sued SCO for all assets, including that, then turned around and freed UNIX once and for all? :)

(Just kidding. This is Darl, and Linux is bad, you smelly hippy.)

Re:Supreme Irony in the Making (1)

e6003 (552415) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207458)

Don't forget IBM's countersuit which WILL bankrupt SCO. The patent claims alone are enough to do that. It also depends on what Novell counter-sues for (they are 110% certain to file some sort of countersuit I'd say) and who gets to the winning post first. Novell might get its licensing rights back by default from the corpse of SCO...

You're all missing SCO's trick (1, Troll)

91degrees (207121) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207332)

It was the same with DeCSS, it will be the same here. Everyone thinks they know what the result will be because they can't imagine the other side will pull something out of their hat, and they all have their own opinion about how the law should work.

SCO's comments in the media are not SCO's legal case. That's another matter entirely, and one that has been considerably more carefully orchestrated. They know they have a pretty strong case against IBM. We just don't know what it is yet.

Re:You're all missing SCO's trick (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207495)

everytime they actually go to court they
end up worse off ... I wonder what they're
waiting for to pull the rabbit out of
the hat?

Re:You're all missing SCO's trick (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207514)

If SCO had a case, IBM wouldn't be slapping them around like this. IBM would have bought them or settled long ago.

Re:You're all missing SCO's trick (5, Interesting)

lax-goalie (730970) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207576)

>SCO's comments in the media are not SCO's legal case. That's another
>matter entirely, and one that has been considerably more carefully
>orchestrated.

Interestingly, IBM referenced SCO's public statements in their filing today: http://pacer.utd.uscourts.gov/images/203cv00294000 00103.pdf [uscourts.gov]

The document states that "SCO has identified no more than approximately 3,700 lines of code", then quotes Darl McBride comments at Harvard this week saying "[T]here is roughly a million lines of code". IBM concludes that if McBride's statement is true, "then SCO should have identified them in response to the Court's Order."

Bottom line, SCO's public statements are now in play. Their "more carefully orchestrated" media comments are now a major liability.

OK... (0, Troll)

JoeBaldwin (727345) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207334)

I don't think we ought to be pissed off at SCO.

The root of the problem is Darl's crack habit. Never has the war on drugs been so needed :)

Groklaw (-1, Troll)

toxic666 (529648) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207337)

Give it up, /. This isn't news. Go to groklaw if you want to read somthing up to date and informative.

Copyright? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207338)

Sure, they may have copyright. However, as long as it is being used under the terms of the GPL, they have nothing to sue on, unless they can somehow convince a judge to rule viral software licenses are unenforcable. If this is the case, then their viral clause that makes them think they have ownership to AIX code made by IBM might also be thrown out. I don't see a logical ruling that could result in a win for them.

A question about this whole SCO dispute (0, Troll)

SoIosoft (711513) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207345)

What's stopping Linux vendors from providing some sort of protection to their clients from IP issues in Linux and the associated software with it? This could be achieved by agreeing to pay legal fees for any client sued over software included with their Linux distribution, including the kernel. Also, it would be necessary for the vendors to pay any licensing fees demanded of their clients over IP issues. While it's easy to say this isn't necessary because SCO has little case against Linux, there's no way to know that someone else doesn't have a legitimate claim about IP being improperly in the kernel or software distributed with Linux. It seems like this "insurance policy" would go a long way toward counteracting SCO's FUD and would reassure clients that they can implement and use Linux without fear. Are the Linux vendors just being niggardly, and don't want to pay any fees that might be demanded from their clients, or is there a more legitimate reason for not providing protection to their clients from IP disputes?

Re:A question about this whole SCO dispute (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207483)

You mean something like OSRM [osriskmanagement.com] ?

Who coincidentally have just hired [osriskmanagement.com] PJ of Groklaw fame as Director of Research.

Darls claims IBM kicked his dog (5, Funny)

l0ungeb0y (442022) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207346)

Immediately following the addition of the copyright infringement claims, Darl McBride announced that his dog fluffy, a 3 year old pomeranian had been kicked and severely injured. McBride citing his suspicions of IBM being the culprit planned to add his veterinarian bills as well as an unspecified monetary claim for emotional distress. "Poor Fluffy will never be the same again" Darl was quoted as saying from his Lindon Utah office

dodging the bullet (5, Interesting)

senzafine (630873) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207351)

I watched Darl's presentation at Harvard in its entirety last night. He (and the CIO at SCO) dodged so many of the questions it was getting boring. Namely Linus' claim of remembering two write 2 of the 70 header files submitted as "infriging" by SCO.

You'd think that after hearing a CEO of a company speak...I'd at least give more validity to their claims. But after hearing Darl...it felt like he was struggling to stay afloat.

IBM has an INCREDIBLE reply (5, Informative)

rewt66 (738525) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207353)

I grabbed this link off of Groklaw (credit where due): IBM's statement as to whether SCO complied with the discover order. [uscourts.gov] It is unbelievably good.

Now the bad news: Posting it on Groklaw seems to have been enough to /. the court's server, so you're going to have to wait a while to read it (and no, I didn't grab a mirror while I had it - my bad).

Of course, posting the link here is far worse than posting it on Groklaw, so maybe you should try to read it tomorrow...

Late update: I re-tried the link when I did the preview, and got it - so it's back, or perhaps intermittent. I'm going to try to grab it right after I post...

Re:IBM has an INCREDIBLE reply (1)

rewt66 (738525) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207539)

OK, I grabbed a copy, but I don't have a server, so I can't mirror it.

Any volunteers?

In related news.com (4, Informative)

EulerX07 (314098) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207366)

They've posted another story that states that SCO's claims have reached 5 billion [com.com] (yes, this really is a news.com link).

This will surely give them enough funding from high-risk investors that don't mind losing a few hundred k's for a chance of a big payout.

Re:In related news.com (4, Funny)

Waffle Iron (339739) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207560)

The new figure is due to the effects of "Darl's Law", which states that on average the damage claims of a lawsuit doubles every 5 months.

Stalling (5, Insightful)

GreenCrackBaby (203293) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207368)

This just seems like another tactic to stall their case. Personally, I believe that there is something more sinister than just a dying company in its death throws here. The longer this goes on, the more damage being done to Linux and open source in general. Obviously, when they finally have to account for any of their claims they will quickly lose, but the longer they can take to prevent that the better (if you support my hypothesis).

My guess is they'll go to court and say "Your honour, you asked us to provide these documents to IBM before the case could continue, however since that ruling we've ammended our suite and would ask that we can push back that date as a result."

Oh, who cares anymore? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207369)

I'm tired of hearing the latest absurdity about this ridiculous little company. Who cares if they are making more, different, wilder, or whatever other sort, of claim?

Stop giving them the free publicity of paying attention to them. Let's just agree not to talk about it till IBM destroys them in court, at which point we can gloat, and be happy.

darn! i keep not buying! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207377)

i keep thinking i should have baught SCOX, but then i realize it can't get dumber or more outlandish, so the stock will fall... then something like this happens!

wtf (3, Funny)

CoyoteGuy (524946) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207392)


This is not McDonalds or Burger King where you can order a side of something with your lawsuit... Sheesh...

Just because you want their case to be baseless (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207396)

doesn't make it so. Quit whining, /., and look at the facts for once, instead of going with your emotions and crying about the $699 you owe SCO.

Actaully they narrowed not widen! (5, Informative)

linuxislandsucks (461335) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207397)

News got it wrong again..

SCO dropped the trade secrets claims.. and only is going to turn over code in 17 files that they claim is infringing 30 days from now after numerous delays..

see groklaw.com for details..

New Copyright Claim (5, Interesting)

richg74 (650636) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207434)

From a quick read through the story on Groklaw [groklaw.net] , the copyright infringement claim has to do with IBM's continuing distribution of AIX, after SCO supposedly revoked their Unix license.

IBM has told the judge that SCO did not comply with her earlier order to specify their claims precisely (in terms of what Linux code was involved). There was apparently a ~30 minute conference with counsel in chambers before the open hearing. It doesn't sound like the judge was too sympathetic to SCO; from one witness's notes:

The judge said "The problem is, unless you identify those codes, then IBM is not in a position to have a response. We're at an impasse, and the case cannot continue with an impasse, that's why there was a court order".

From other comments the judge made (see the Groklaw write-up), it sounds like SCO may get one more really final order to lay out the specifics of their case. (Ha!)

IBM did not move for dismissal, to the surprise of some observers. My theory is that IBM thinks they have SCO on the run, and want to make sure there is nothing left of them but a glowing crater when this is all done.

this is interesting (4, Interesting)

plopez (54068) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207446)

http://weeklywire.com/ww/02-23-99/slc_cb_a.html

http://www.lds-mormon.com/6303056a.shtml

Seems that Utah is scam central...

Re:this is interesting (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207523)

Dude, I live here. There are so many scams here that this is scam HQ for every two bit grafter.

In other news... (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207454)


All 12 Infringing files have been identified:

$ grep -ilR Regents /usr/src/linux
/usr/src/linux/net/ipsec/radij.c
/usr/src/linux/net/ipsec/radij.h
/usr/src/linux/drivers/net/bsd_comp.c
/usr/src/linux/drivers/net/slhc.c
/usr/src/linux/drivers/net/slhc.o
/usr/src/linux/drivers/net/slip.c
/usr/src/linux/drivers/char/tpqic02.c
/usr/src/linux/drivers/isdn/isdn_bsdcomp.c
/usr/src/linux/drivers/scsi/aic7xxx/queue.h
/usr/src/linux/include/net/slhc_vj.h
/usr/src/linux/include/linux/queue.h
/usr/src/linux/include/linux/quota.h

Not even Doctor Evil... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207456)

dreamed of collecting FIVE BILLION DOLLARS. But, I suppose that SCO has to work overtime now to keep the attention focused on it. What with Martha Stewart and Janet Jackson stealing the spot light.

Here's a scary thought: What if it was Martha Stewart that had exposed her tits during the Superbowl? Imaging 600 million people all hurling at once.

Oh my god! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207467)

Holy oh Jesus! Who'da thunk it?!!

Class action? (4, Interesting)

infernalC (51228) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207471)

If SCO is going to seek damages for its distribution of AIX after license termination (which Novell and IBM claim it cannot do), can we then as folks who have contributed code to GNU and Linux and all the GPL'd goodies not seek damages from SCO in a class action suit for their violations of the GPL? It seems that they revoked their copy permission long ago by distributing GPL'd works linked to code they licensed non-freely. And they still distribute schtuff to Caldera clients. I'm sure someone would be willing to bankroll that.

News Flash (5, Funny)

dduardo (592868) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207480)

As SCO's stock price continues to plumet amid growing speculation that their whole lawsuit lacks merit....

Wait, this just in...SCO has just upped the lawsuit agianst IBM to 100 trillion dollars...

...My God, look at that stock price rise!

(Back at SCO headquarters)

Darl: MUAHAHAHAHAHA

-------------

sigh (3, Interesting)

Richard_at_work (517087) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207488)

I really really wish the slashdot "Do not show stories from the following: Caldera" tick box applied to real life. This thing isnt going to go away for 5 to 10 years, and I can see it ruining a lot of productive time and effort on the opensource side. Its going to haunt us for the forseeable future, regardless of who wins the first round, the second round, the third round and so on. Technicalities will be found, loopholes will be exploited, cases thrown out, new cases raised, you name it. This case isnt going anywhere.

Ahh, the Joseph Goebels method... (2, Funny)

i_r_sensitive (697893) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207496)

Yell a lie loud enough and long enough and it becomes the truth...

Ye Gods, hasn't this farce gone on long enough?

But it has this wierd attraction, I see SCO in the posts... ..must resist.. ..overwhelming urge.. ..to.. ..repeat myself...

Uh oh! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8207510)

I'm a'scared ma....

Talking to SCO (1)

CGP314 (672613) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207556)

...is like talking to a dog [userfriendly.org]

-Colin [colingregorypalmer.net]

Copyright claim is not against Linux! (5, Insightful)

solman (121604) | more than 10 years ago | (#8207569)

SCO's case is completely falling appart.

Apparently, the new copyright claim is that IBM continued to distribute AIX even after SCO "terminated" their license.

In other words, the copyright claim doesn't have anything to do with the alleged copying of code from SysV to Linux.

Additionally, SCO responded to IBMs interrogatory (asking which Linux files SCO claims any rights to) by listing only 17 files (and not identifying specific lines in those files) and indicating that none of these 17 files contain code from SysV.

I really expected them to do much better. I don't see how IBM can be ordered to proceed with discovery given existing case law. (Although it seems like IBM might voluntarily produce information so they can limit SCOs avenues of appeal.
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