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154 comments

Perl sux (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280191)

slashdot limerick contest (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280218)

There once was a pedophile called Taco
who fucked a mexican named Paco
the kid was smart
and sued the retard
now he lives behind bars, the whacko.

GNAA (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280197)

GNAA (sung to the tune to Y.M.C.A. by the Village People)

Black man, there's no need to feel bad.
I said, black man, c'mon don't be so drab.
Don't let those bloggers ruin your day.
There are still pla-ces to be gay.

Black man, there's this place you should see.
I said, black man, fire up IRC.
There's this channel, that I'm sure you will like.
Every-thing is gonna be all-right.

It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!

You can go as you please,
Feel your hair in the breeze,
Crapflood Live Journal with ease!

It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!

You can write a good troll,
For the next Slashdot poll,
You can jerk off to goatse's hole!

Black man, why be here all alone?
I said, black man, you can get yourself boned.
I said, black man, you can get on teh spoke,
With thou-sands of gay nigger blokes.

Black man, are you down with this funk?
I said, black man, why you touching your junk?
Just go there, go to #gnaa
And apply for membership today!

It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!

You can go as you please,
Feel your hair in the breeze,
Crapflood Live Journal with ease!

G-N-A-A ... you'll find it at the G-N-A-A.

Black man, there's no need to feel bad.
I said, black man, c'mon don't be so drab.

G-N-A-A ... you'll find it at the G-N-A-A.
Black man, are you down with this funk? I said, black man, why you touching your junk?

Re:GNAA (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280456)

A true homage to Village People. Gay nigger, I salute you.

Kinda lame... (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280201)

I thought it was asking for code as actually Haiku, not just a little poem about Perl... that's kinda silly. Oh well.

Re:Kinda lame... (4, Informative)

rokzy (687636) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280232)

click on the link on the LHS and you get the Haikus IN perl.

Re:Kinda lame... (1)

UberQwerty (86791) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280548)

Really hard to tell if poems written IN perl obey the 5-7-5 rule, which is obnoxious, because you know at least half of their authors don't know about that rule. Lots of people think a haiku means "short-long-short" not 5-7-5.

Re:Kinda lame... (4, Informative)

AEton (654737) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280789)

It's a common misconception that "haiku" means "5-7-5". This misconception is readily [wikipedia.org] cleared up [everything2.com] - see the second paragraph of the Wikipedia article in particular for a discussion, or the "How do you write a haiku?" part of the e2 writeup, which goes into detail in the distiction between Japanese haiku and English haiku and describes the innumerable subtle variations of the form.

That said, one of the best English haiku ever kind of abuses the system:

I told her and she
Was like, "oh, my god," and I
Was like, "oh, my god."

Re:Kinda lame... (2, Funny)

madpierre (690297) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280845)

I thought it was asking for code as actually Haiku

If they did that how would the judges be able to *read*
and *make sense* of the entries? Face it perl code just
looks like a bunch of random punctuation. ;)

Re:Kinda lame... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280252)

obviously whoever modded this interesting didn't RTFA

shut up perl fanboi (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280480)

A Waste? (1, Insightful)

Amsterdam Vallon (639622) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280209)

These were cute when they first came out, but I kind of feel that people should spend more time enterprise-proofing their Open Source applications than crafting poetry into silly little code snippets that don't do anything of significance.

If Microsoft did this, you would make fun of them. But since it's Perl, apparently it's OK.

Meanwhile, we've got Firebird, which crashes every 10 page loads, we've got GCC, which pales in comparison to Intel's compiler, and Linux *still* isn't desktop-ready for the future of home PC computing.

But that's OK, keep wasting our Open Source talent and man-months on these haiku contests. Yeah, that makes sense *sigh*.

Re:A Waste? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280222)

I wonder how long these took to make. Usually it's easy to do simple stuff, but to actually make an app that works is tough and requires a ton of time investment.

You're probably partially right -- though GCC works fine for me, but Firebird does have stability problems (esp w/ FLASH).

Re:A Waste? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280236)

If Microsoft did this

The winner would be:

What day is today?
Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Oh.
It's Releasepatchday.

Re:A Waste? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280280)

What day is today?
Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Oh.
It's Releasepatchday.


Welcome to Slashdot
We hate Microsoft and SCO
Yet we steal [slashdot.org] their code [slashdot.org]

Re:A Waste? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280797)

Oh please troll. It's all code that IBM wrote. SCO claims it was stolen because it was somehow "derived" from their code. It's like saying the air conditioner in your car was derived from the engine.

MOD PARENT +1 INSIGHTFUR (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280246)

Perr. Is it good or is it whack?

The Winner: (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280210)

Perl Haiku So Gay
Cannot Believe You Faggots
Even Give A Shit

Heres my entry (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280224)

slash dot
it sucks so much
it brings tears

perl sucks (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280237)

why would anyone use perl when you have ruby?

i think taco should rewrite slashcode in ruby,.. but want he cant even make it xhtml complaint or fix the fucking layout tables (which were never meant for layout anyway, but who cares about standards?)

so maybe the title should be slashdot sucks. or maybe taco sucks. who knows.

Re:perl sucks (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280277)

Maybe because Taco's not a Chinaman? We all know Taco is Mexican, a land where Ruby has not taken hold, like in Asia.

What? (-1)

0x54524F4C4C (712971) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280241)


Please don't take this as a flamebait, but isn't it your impression that Perl is still touted only in Slashdot?

Re:What? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280262)

clueless slashdot
code that die
trolls grow

Join the FUAA! (-1, Offtopic)

MooKore 2004 (737557) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280243)

FUAA (Firefox users association of america) is the first organization which gathers FIRE FOX USERS from all over the world for one common goal - USING FIRE FOX!

Do you use Firefox [mozilla.org]?
Do you read Fark [fark.com]?
Are you a Firefox user that reads fark? [badgerbadgerbadger.com]?

If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, then FUAA (Firefox users association of america) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Join FUAA (Firefox users association america) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time FUAA member. FUAA (Fire fox users association of america) is the fastest-growing FIREFOX community with THOUSANDS of members all over the world. You, too, can be a part of FUAA if you join today!

Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!

* First, you have to visit Mozilla.org and download the latest nightly of firefox.
* Second, you need to succeed in posting a FUAA "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular Internet Explorer users website
* Third, you need to join the official FUAA irc channel #FUAA on EFNet, and apply for membership. Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!

This post is brought to you by Mookore 2004, purveour of ASCII cows, a proud member of the FUAA!

Re:Join the FUAA! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280320)

Wow! What an absolutely fucking hilarious post! Look everyone, it's like the GNAA, except some faggot dork went and changed it to a WEB BROWSER! Funneh!!!1

Die now, you fucking loser.

Haiku (-1, Offtopic)

eyv (636790) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280249)

First post whoo; I rule Slashdot haiku should be next Pointless post this

Linux Users (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280255)

group of faggots
who eat shit
total losers all

Hmmmm, Haikus. (5, Funny)

heironymouscoward (683461) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280258)

Many perl haikus
Many Slashdot visitors
No response, it's down.

Re:Hmmmm, Haikus. (5, Funny)

Shut the fuck up! (572058) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280314)

Mod parent funny
Mod this post minus one troll
Metamod unfair.

Re:Hmmmm, Haikus. (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280350)

Shut the fuck up, troll!
Slashdot's moderation rules.
[Minus 1 flamebait]

Re:Hmmmm, Haikus. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280515)

Moderators, what?
Parent comment's not a troll
It's Art, a Haiku.

Re:Hmmmm, Haikus. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280524)

Even troll culture
creates its art and passion.
Moderation sucks. :(

Re:Hmmmm, Haikus. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280751)

Perl 6
Where are you
The parrot is dead

A Haiku (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280259)

print "I am Howard\n";
print "Will you vote for me please?\n";
die "Fucking hippies.\n";

Haiku (1, Funny)

eyv (636790) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280269)

First post whoo; I rule
Slashdot haiku should be next
Pointless post this

Why Not? (5, Insightful)

seriv (698799) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280270)

Perl Haiku pushes the limit of the excuse of "why not?" when it comes to wasting your time.

Re:Why Not? (4, Funny)

interiot (50685) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280403)

Posting to Slashdot about how others are wasting time is probably worse.

(doh, wait a minute. don't tell anyone I posted this...)

This is the best one (4, Funny)

Illissius (694708) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280271)

Name: John Cataldo
Haiku:
perl perl perl perl perl
perl perl perl perl perl perl perl
perl perl perl perl perl

Heh.

No this is better (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280846)

This one is better:

Fuck you fuck you fuck
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck
Fuck you fuck you Snow

Slashdot Haiku (5, Funny)

PatrickThomson (712694) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280276)

I cannot create
a haiku in time for the
first post. Woe is me.

Re:Slashdot Haiku (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280405)

haiku what is it all
about is it good
or is it whack?

Here's a haiku for you! (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280288)

Let poets write poems
Let coders write code
Stay your path

Oh no! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280300)


Code in Perl and write
What looks like hieroglyphics
But at least it works

We own the IP
Novell's claims are strong indeed
Lawsuit is dying!

l0s3r haiku (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280308)

broke, wrote sort
btree money
perl job hungry

haikus and spam (3, Informative)

bstil (652204) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280332)

Of course, no discussion of haikus and computers would be relevant these days without mentioning SPAM...
Haiku'da Been a Spam Filter [wired.com]

Re:haikus and spam (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280364)

*Sigh* I can't read Wired articles. They're filled with too many buzzwords and 1990s-speak. Could somebody give me the gist of it?

Re:haikus and spam (1)

apankrat (314147) | more than 10 years ago | (#8281022)

Both habeas [habeas.com] and bonded-sender [bondedsender.com] are the stupidiest antispam ideas only beaten by this [cashramspam.com] marvel. How can one expect spammers in non-US countries to abide US copyright rules is beyond me .. especially given that a half of the spam is sent from spoofed emails using hijacked machines or through open relays.

while skimming... my fav (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280356)

I liked this one:

Name: Albert Braun
Haiku:

my coworker thinks
perl is something to laugh at
it is not, smartass

fagorz (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280391)

code.' Don't for 7he project.

Haiku, the hacker connection. (3, Funny)

Dr. Evil (3501) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280418)

Haiku is 31337
Or so Neil Stephenson wrote
So posers do Haiku

No good in English
Haiku is for Japaneese
In English it is...

Bad.

Perl haiku from a procrastinating non-entrant (2, Interesting)

LinuxParanoid (64467) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280422)

I wrote a couple haikus, tweaked them a bit, and then figured I'd look at the options again before submitting them. Ah well, too late. I'll submit them to you the Slashdot readership instead. Maybe I can get a Tshirt from CmdrTaco or another 1000 ad-free page-views? Lord knows I don't need the karma. .

.

As words from my lips,
so Perl flies from my fingers -
Ecstatic coding!
.

.

From God to Larry,
"Be fruitiful and multiply!"
Perl coders went forth.

.

--LP

Re:Perl haiku from a procrastinating non-entrant (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280711)

Intersting? Bleh.

Why? (3, Interesting)

Onikuma (699576) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280424)

I just don't get it. What is this obsession of Geeks and Haiku?

Re:Why? (5, Funny)

Onikuma (699576) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280435)

i suppose i should have inclided some line breaks in there...

I just don't get it.
What is this obsession of
Geeks and Haiku?

Re:Why? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280710)

Your poem is 5/7/4 syllables. Haikus are 5/7/5. Maybe:

I just don't get it.
What is this obsession of
Geeks and dumb haikus?

Re:Why? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280744)

Your poem is 5/7/4 syllables. Haikus are 5/7/5

Haiku is too hard I can never remember How many syllables go on the last line

Re:Why? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8281063)

It's the same as the first line, you dumbass. How hard is that? I bet you can't remember how old you are either.

Re:Why? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280840)

And "haiku" in Japanese is three syllables. Ha-i-ku.

Well, really it's three moras, not syllables, but that's getting all technical.

Re:Why? (5, Funny)

kfg (145172) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280512)

Damn if I know, dude.
It may well be the challenge;
Geeks are funny sorts.

KFG

My favorite was... (2, Funny)

inode_buddha (576844) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280425)

fp.pl? (Score:5, Funny)
by CptChipJew (301983) on Thursday January 22, @11:24PM
(#8062958)
(Monday August 25, @03:56AM)

open(heart_to_perl);
content-type: haiku/firstpost;
or die "i fail it";

IMHO, he shoulda won. I was ROFL till the next day after seeing that one.

Re:My favorite was... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280726)

> I was ROFL till the next day after seeing that one.

You have issues.

A real haiku (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280454)

My name is Chandeep
IT pro from Bangalore
I have your job now!

Re:A real haiku (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280774)

I laughed out loud. thx. :-)

Terrible (4, Informative)

molotovcD (626566) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280464)

These are terrible haikus... these people should stick to programming, not poetry. It makes me cringe just thinking about them...

Re:Terrible (3, Interesting)

segmond (34052) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280604)

LOL, I thought I was the only one that noticed... but then again what do you expect from people that write ugly code? :) Now I wonder if python programmers had a haiku contest if their's will be nicer.

No. (1)

DAldredge (2353) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280643)

No, because every last one of the python haikus would be about how much better it is than perl.

What is it about python and ruby that requires some people to talk about how great it is every 15 seconds, even if it doesn't apply to the situation at hand?

Re:No. (1)

jrockway (229604) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280963)

Because it's the only language they know, and they want you to bow to them for it. If you know a lot of programming languages, then you don't have to be a zealot for one. You can use the right one for the job. Perl is the right programming language for quite a few jobs, however :)

Limericks are much better! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280501)

Let me see now... somthing about a girl from Nantuckit...

Ironic (2, Funny)

bXTr (123510) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280516)

Although I like Perl,
I am beginning to like
Python even more.

Re:Ironic (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280756)

Ironic? Go Python!!

Perl is dying

Re:Ironic (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280781)

Surprised, are you now?
Allways better python has been
Yoda likes python too

An honest Haiku (3, Funny)

Diesel Dave (95048) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280522)

Perl's syntax screams out
"Kill me now, kill me quickly"
I use Python now

Re:An honest Haiku (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280618)

The winner of the "dishonorable mention" prize for saying something similar was my Computer Science professor back when I was in college (Harvey Mudd College).

Re:An honest Haiku (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8281110)

You are a fucking
faggot, and I hope you choke --
on a bulldog's cock!

Re:An honest Haiku (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8281121)

On a related note:
Name: Phil Rodgers
Haiku:

Perl outshines .NET;
no obfuscators needed
to protect the source

Semi-colon!=perl (1)

Tango42 (662363) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280537)

Most of the "in perl" haiku's just have semi-colons at the end of each line... i'm not a perl expert but it looks like few of them would compile... and almost none of them are in any way clever (putting the actual haiku in print statements is just stupid). Who picked the winners, anyway? There are much better ones there...

My favorite web 404 message (5, Funny)

moonbeam (2457) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280593)

You step in the stream
But the water has moved on
The page is not here

Oh well, I am late (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280650)

Python is banal
Ruby is pretentious
Perl is beautiful

Best one: (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8280766)

Name: Geoff Kuenning
Haiku:

Unreadable code,
Why would anyone use it?
Learn a better way.

And they gave it a "dishonorable mention". You can't question these psychos; so Fuck perl.

Winning was huge highpoint for me. (4, Funny)

immanis (557955) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280802)

One of my entries won 3rd place in the 'Written In Perl' category. I flipped out when I saw I had actually won. I figured the 'brute force of brainwashing/pestering the judges' was, at best, worth a mild chuckle. And I certainly thought all of my others were better. But I'm not one to argue.

I've been going on and on about it since Monday. Mostly because for me, it it means I have now unmistakably crossed the point of no return. I can no longer deny I am a geek. I can no longer even pretend to. But It's ok, I have come to terms.

Server side scripting (1)

ultrabot (200914) | more than 10 years ago | (#8280834)

the neophyte wrote it in perl
said the birds wouldn't return next spring
it was a long winter

this is the gayest (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8281064)

this is the gayest
thing i have ever witnessed
get a life you losers
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