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Space Burial

michael posted more than 10 years ago | from the burial-not-exactly-the-right-word dept.

Space 491

roman_mir writes "Celestis is the name of a company that is offering space burials for some $11K USD. Isn't this nice, like there is not enough garbage in space already... So, how many of you want to be buried in space? I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"

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Total Recall (1, Funny)

amitti (210015) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290161)

For some reason this reminds me of the infomercial from Total Recall.. Their video is funny, very late 80's - 90's..

-Aaron Mitti

Malibu Stacy touched my junk (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290162)

I was delivering the morning paper to Malibu Stacy's Dream House, when Stacy came out and asked me if I knew anything about electronics. She led me to the garage, on the pretense that I would help her program the radio stations on her car stereo. With one quick motion she removed my Member's Only jacket, and ripped the buttons off my blue J.C. Penny oxford, exposing my hairless chest. As I started to squirm, she handcuffed me to the gear shift in her Dream Car, and then unbuttoned my pants. Since her hands were on my zipper, I sat motionless as she removed my Toughskins. Now fully exposed, my dick stood straight up as if it was expecting a flag to be raised on it.

As a show of women's equality, it seems that my hands had no moveable parts, but SHE had the Kung-Fu Grip. She wrapped the rubbery hand, already in a masturbatory position, and proceeded to touch my junk liberally. Since she was over forty I felt quite dirty while she was stroking my junk as if she was awaiting a prize. After 2 minutes of this, I shot my load but it just dribbled out of the end of my cock. My nervousness had hampered my shooting ability. As my cum drizzled onto her Kung-Fu Grip, it started to harden, and she no longer had the ability to release The Grip.

Four hours later an emergency room doctor applied a solvent to our conjoined body parts that released her grip on my junk. Unfortunately, the extended period of time stuck in this position has rendered my cock to its "erected length" even when I am not hard. Well, I guess at least I look impressive in the showers.

Special 'Delivery' Instructions (5, Funny)

PakProtector (115173) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290165)

PS: Please aim at the section of space that in the 23rd century will be off limits to all spacefarers, in which resides the Genesis planet. Please make sure to also provide good embalming and a capsule capable of shielding body from cosmic rays.

RELATIVELY HUGE THROBBING FETUS PENIS EJACULATING (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290167)

CAN you IMAGINE the thought of a bunch of BOY FETUSES EJACULATING their ironically fertile BOYCUM, the very substance that half made who they ARE only recently?!?! THINK about it, a group of TINY PRE-BABIES with their ROCK HARD yet tiny PENISES all in a CIRCLE-JERK performing a IN UTEREO BUKKAKE ceremony way up in mommy's CUM-DRENCHED WOMB, man, when the "water breaks" I'm thinking that's more STICKY BABYCUM than FETUS FLUID. Birth would be like one gigantic EJACULATION!

Re:RELATIVELY HUGE THROBBING FETUS PENIS EJACULATI (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290293)

You are wise in the ways of science.

Broadcasting dead... (5, Interesting)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290169)

As a lower cost option, these people allow you to broadcast a digital message [celestis.com] which can contain any audio or picture format you want into space.

They call the service Ad Astra. I like the dobule meaning of the word "ad" in that name...

Re:Broadcasting dead... (5, Funny)

DarthWiggle (537589) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290196)

so, like, Space Spam?

Re:Broadcasting dead... (5, Funny)

calmdude (605711) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290240)

What would one say on one of these things?

A) I'm coming home momma!

B) Please rectally probe the following people who bullied me in school...

C) Please view the accompanying transmitted picture ... does this dress make me look fat?

Take down a space station (5, Funny)

Jad LaFields (607990) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290171)

To much garbage in space? Man that would my point for being 'buried' in space... to become a potentially dangerous piece of space debris! It would be like coming back from the dead to strike fear in the hearts of the living!

Re:Take down a space station (2, Interesting)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290270)

This service won't help you with that. The small sample of you that they send will end up vaporized on reentry.

Re: story (5, Funny)

bentini (161979) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290174)

Quoth the poster: "I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"

I know *exactly* how you feel.

I want you to burn in the Sun, too.

Re: story (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290268)

It's incredible that you've not been bitch-slapped yet.

Re: story (3, Interesting)

earthforce_1 (454968) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290290)

Actually, flying straight the sun is very difficult.

If you are pushed a hair off course, your remains will go into orbit around the sun, or be blown outward by the solar winds.

Even if you aim precisely at the sun, the ever increasing pressure of the solar discharge will tend to push you off course and away.

burn in hell (5, Funny)

kiwirob (588600) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290177)

I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)
According to my ex-wife I'm gonna burn in hell when I die.

Re:burn in hell (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290325)

BECAUSE of your ex-wife I'm burning somewhere different altogether...

Re:burn in hell (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290340)

Man, what did she have? Sucks to be you.

Re:burn in hell (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290349)

According to my ex-wife I'm gonna burn in hell when I die.
You work for "professional search engine optimisation (SEO) company." Hell is too good for you, sir.

Only so much carbon... (3, Interesting)

cgranade (702534) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290179)

Call me crazy, mod me -1, Wrong, whatever. I just wonder about launching stuff into space for no good reason. There's only so much mass on Earth, and what happens if the mass we throw off doesn't come back? I understand what we gain by launching satellites and all, but what does this gain us? I suppose it does have some advantages over the problem of finite room to bury people, but still...

Re:Only so much carbon... (5, Informative)

wowbagger (69688) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290208)

The amount of mass being launched is measured in the hundreds of kilograms per year.

The amount of mass falling onto the earth from space is measured in the hundreds of tons per day.

Do the math.

Re:Only so much carbon... (4, Funny)

whereiswaldo (459052) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290279)

The amount of mass being launched is measured in the hundreds of kilograms per year.

The amount of mass falling onto the earth from space is measured in the hundreds of tons per day.


What sorts of stuff are we launching and what sorts of stuff is falling onto the Earth? Maybe we're trading titanium for sand. Not that I think we have to worry - just a thought.

Still, maybe launching yourself into space could prevent you from being brought back to life someday. Then again, maybe you'd be brought back to life to fight some losing battle against aliens... ;)

Re:Only so much carbon... (5, Informative)

beeplet (735701) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290236)

Considering the earth accumulates 30 million kg of space dust each year, I don't think this will be a problem. (http://stardust.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news19.html)

Re:Only so much carbon... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290306)

dust!
don't tell my mom or she'll start cleaning.

Re:Only so much carbon... (1)

Enonu (129798) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290245)

To answer your question, according to this article [usatoday.com] , the Earth gains 40,000 metric tons of mass each year from dust, meteors and whatnot. Have no fear about us feeble humans actually making a dent in mass of the Earth unless somebody hits the big red button.

Re:Only so much carbon... (5, Informative)

kfg (145172) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290264)

The earth's mass increases by tons a day, from the influx of space stuff. It doesn't really matter, as a percentage of the earth's mass the stuff that comes in and what we ship out is waaaaaay below the level of significant digits.

I could sit here half the night listing reasons why launching dead granny dust into space is a pretty daft idea, but worries about unbalancing the earth's orbit or running out of carbon wouldn't be among them.

If you took all the people in the world and packed them into a box, like sardines, without cremating, that box would have to be about 3/4 mile per side.

That's it. All of humanity. All of humanity's mass. Poof it out into space and the earth wouldn't so much as bobble, or care.

KFG

Re:Only so much carbon... (0)

cujo_1111 (627504) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290309)

If you took all the people in the world and packed them into a box, like sardines, without cremating, that box would have to be about 3/4 mile per side.

Three quarters of a mile per side? That ain't packing em like sardines, that is compressing them all under massive force into a box.

There a 6 billion people on the planet, they each approximately take up an area say 5 foot by 2 foot by 1 foot. Packing 6 billion people intop a box is going to need a fucking huge box, or finally make a good use of Pamela Anderson...

Re:Only so much carbon... (4, Insightful)

brucmack (572780) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290272)

It doesn't gain anything, it's a business. It's not like they are a group of researchers who have concluded that space 'burial' is better than land burial. They're just there to cater to relatively well-off people who either just like the idea of being a celestial body or are somehow religious and think that they are being 'buried' closer to god.

As for the mass on earth question, I wouldn't think the mass we've shot into space is anything to worry about. The earth is big and we aren't to the point where we can cheaply send tons of stuff into space. Even if everyone on earth were to be 'buried' there, it wouldn't cause any significant impact.

As an aside, what's with calling it a space burial anyway? I guess it's better on the marketing than just saying they'll shoot your lifeless body into nothingness where you'll cook on one side and freeze on the other.

Re:Only so much carbon... (1)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290289)

The mass from their Earthview service, the only one they've actually gotten paying customers up with it seems, actually gets returned to the earth's atmoshphere because the craft vaporizes by design during reentry. "Orbit" doesn't have to be a stable one that stays up forever...

Re:Only so much carbon... (5, Informative)

evilmrhenry (542138) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290312)

(Note: all numbers pulled from Internet in the space of a few minutes. May be inaccurate.)

mass of Earth:
5.9742 x 10^24 kilograms. That's
5,974,200,000,000,000,000,000,000 kg.

mass of average person:
about 100 kilograms

number of bodies needed to change the Earth's weight by 1%:
597,420,000,000,000,000,000

Population of Earth:
about 6,000,000,000

Weight of Apollo 11:
about 30,000 kg

Number of Apollo 11's needed to change Earth's weight by 1%
1,991,400,000,000,000,000

In conclusion, the Earth is really big.

Re:Only so much carbon... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290339)

mass of average person:
about 100 kilograms


I would say that you must be American, but you are using metric units.

The perfect gift (5, Funny)

Bobdoer (727516) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290183)

This is what you give your geek on Valentine's Day. You may have to kill them first, but it's worth it.

Old news - they handled my brother (5, Interesting)

wowbagger (69688) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290185)

This is old news - Celestis handled my brother [celestis.com] back in 2000.

Re:Old news - they handled my brother (0, Offtopic)

JudgeFurious (455868) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290223)

But will they be able to handle the slashdotting their about to get? That's the real question.

Somehow I think the answer will be no.

Re:Old news - they handled my brother (1)

MikeXpop (614167) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290280)

P.S. I'll be the one in white pants and an "aloha" shirt.
A true geek.

Star treck (-1, Redundant)

Nihynjahs (680486) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290186)

people have star treck weddings so why not a burial like spock!

Cemeteries are landfills (0, Flamebait)

ObviousGuy (578567) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290187)

Take a look around a cemetery some time and just try to absorb how much human garbage is buried there. From alcoholics to wife-beaters, these people are giving us the finger by taking up precious land into perpetuity.

Cultures which practice cremation have a much better idea. Just burn everyone to a crisp and reduce their mass to a couple ounces of dust instead of taking up several cubic yards of space.

Sending your dead ash into space sounds great.

Re:Cemeteries are landfills (5, Informative)

damiam (409504) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290218)

Cemetaries don't last forever. They can be reused every few hundred years.

Re:Cemeteries are landfills (1)

gid13 (620803) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290304)

Are there any systems in place to prevent that?

Should there be?

Re:Cemeteries are landfills (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290321)

To paraphrase "Caddieshack" - how about being buried by the Great Wall of China, on the good side. this is mr wang - no offense.....

Re:Cemeteries are landfills (4, Insightful)

Snoopy77 (229731) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290338)

Well my granddad never touched alcohol, nor did he beat up on his wife and my family can go and pay their respects at his grave site at any time.

Reducing him and many others to the equal of garbage is disrespectful to say the least.

I want to burn in the Sun (5, Insightful)

Threni (635302) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290189)

We all will...eventually. You'll be dead anyway, so why does it matter if you get toasted in the months following your death rather than a few hundred million?

Cheap (4, Interesting)

sith (15384) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290191)

This seems awfully affordable for launching anything in to space. Even if it is cremated remains, I would have expectede that it would be more expensive. Their webpage claims they have two of these in orbit already though. So all I need to do is find $11k and then cremate myself...

Space Burial? (1, Funny)

UltimateZer0 (610695) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290192)

So would launching at the sun count as space cremation?

Target Practice (1)

fatman1683 (706195) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290193)

Given the current state of debris in orbit, I wonder how long it will be until a capsule is struck by a dangerously large piece of matter, scattering ashes throughout low earth orbit.

Any bets?

Re:Target Practice (1)

kamapuaa (555446) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290326)

Given the current state of debris in orbit, I wonder how long it will be until a capsule is struck by a dangerously large piece of matter, scattering ashes throughout low earth orbit.

About the same chances as winning $100 million in the lottery, I'd imagine. Maybe less. Space is huge. Just the surface of the Earth is huge, and that's essentially 2-dimensional, while people go to a large variety of altitudes in space.

15th post! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290194)

15th post!

a bit cheap (5, Interesting)

dj245 (732906) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290195)

Only $11,000? Thats pretty cheap, considering the cost of taking a pound of gear into orbit. How do they get human remains that light? Even when you cremate a body, significant bones and dust remain. What do they do, throw away most of it and just send up a little bit of each person on their sattelite? Cremated remains can weigh upwards of two to five pounds. I'm wondering if this is all a scam, considering the high cost of burial space in certain geographical areas. In some places, a burial plot can cost even more than $11,000.

Re:a bit cheap (2, Interesting)

Nihynjahs (680486) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290214)

they sends lots of lead up in with sattelites to use as a ballast i know that, so maybe they are just using bodies now.. at a 11,000 dollars its cheaper for them and at 150 lbs for an avereage person... its and idea at least

Re:a bit cheap (4, Interesting)

dj245 (732906) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290226)

Moon Miner's Manifesto [asi.org] has a piece on how the Celestis capsule will only be in orbit for a year before the ashes meet a fiery end and proposes other and similar methods of putting remains in space.

Cheap for a reason (1)

calmdude (605711) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290275)

There ain't no space ship...they put you with Hoffa.

Re:a bit cheap (1, Informative)

challahc (745267) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290334)

EARTHVIEW SERVICE I Introduced in 2002, this new service places a 1 gram sample of the cremated remains into Earth orbit. The Celestis memorial satellite eventually reenters Earth's atmosphere and harmlessly vaporizes, blazing like a shooting star in final tribute. This service provides: * The launch of a 1g symbolic portion of the cremated remains into Earth orbit * Flight capsule imprinted with personal message * Invitation to the launch event * Personalized video of launch event and memorial ceremony * Dedicated virtual memorial of the deceased on our website * Contribution to the Celestis Foundation * Performance assurance Price of Service: $995. Payment plans are available.
For $1000 they send 1 gram into orbit for $6000 7 grams.

p33n (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290197)

who really cares what happens to their bodies after they die . . . p33n

You want to burn in the Sun? (5, Funny)

skyhawker (234308) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290198)

No problem. Just get buried here on earth. Eventually, your wish will be granted. And since you're dead, the wait will be quite bearable. :-)

Re:You want to burn in the Sun? (4, Funny)

polymath69 (94161) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290266)

No problem. Just get buried here on earth. Eventually, your wish will be granted.

Exactly. Once the sun goes red-giant, its radius will be far larger than the orbital distance of this little planet. So everyone's bones will eventually wind up toast.

Worried about global warming? Now that's global warming.

Check it out! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290199)

Its the New Tubgirl [kinghost.com] ! That's right gentlemen, if you're tired of people sending you to tubgirl [tubgirl.com] , only to see some chick shitting on herself, check out the New Tubgirl [kinghost.com] ! You won't be disappointed.

Yay! (2, Insightful)

cujo_1111 (627504) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290201)

Instead of having your ashes placed in the ocean or on your favourite piece of land somewhere, you can burn up on re-entry and be spread across the whole planet.

I don't think the company will be allowed to put you into orbit (it would decay anyway), so they will have to punt you out into deep space or let you burn up. For US$11K I don't think that will cover the cost of ejecting you from the earth's gravity.

I wonder if I can work this into my life insurance plan?

Re:Yay! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290273)

Actually from the look of the FAQs... they don't punt you out to space.. they put a "cerimonial portion of your ashes" in to one of their commerical sats, along with samples of 20 to 30 other individuals... and you stay up there as long as the sat does.

Re:Yay! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290351)

When I die I want my remains fed to dolphins and whales. Let the greenies put that in their pipe and smoke it!

Actually they could do that to.

Interesting Terminology (4, Insightful)

calmdude (605711) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290202)

The phrase that is used is being "buried in space". Quite obviously, one cannot be literally buried in space. What they do is cremate and eject the remains into stellar space.

I don't remember anyone saying Gene Roddenberry was buried in space....I wonder if he was the first person to voluntarily have his remains ejected into space.

Re:Interesting Terminology (1)

freeze128 (544774) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290258)

How about "Buried in the nearest black hole"?

I bet not many people will want to... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290203)

...burn in Uranus.

There were already remains in orbit (4, Interesting)

TotallyUseless (157895) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290204)

LSD Guru Tim Leary, Gene Roddenberry, and 22 others had their remains shot up into orbit in a capsule in 1997. The capsule was supposed to remain in orbit for around 18 months, then burn up on reentry into the atmosphere, for a double cremation!

Re:There were already remains in orbit (5, Informative)

TotallyUseless (157895) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290229)

Bonus Link: [celestis.com] Lists the passengers on that Founder's Flight.

Very very old news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290206)

They've been doing this since the 90s.. Timothy Leary got shot into space along with a few other people.

Awesome (5, Funny)

filtur (724994) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290207)

This would be a great way to test the Missle Defense System. I don't know about anyone else, but personally I wouldn't mind being put to rest in a big explosion at the cost to the U.S. taxpayer.

Re:Awesome (4, Insightful)

cujo_1111 (627504) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290265)

You wouldn't be the first, thousands of Japanese have already received this honour.

I'd go ahead and outlaw this guys (3, Insightful)

JudgeFurious (455868) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290209)

Ok, so maybe that's a tad on the draconian side but seriously, do we actually want just anybody tossing trash into orbit for the vanity of people with more money than sense?

Here's to a very fast bankruptcy for these guys.

Re:I'd go ahead and outlaw this guys (1)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290255)

I think their space-radio service is cute, although it's nothing more than a slightly modified version of the infamous star-naming services...

Seriously, they've gotten a couple rockets into a low earth orbit, but not a stable one so the entire vehicle gets vaporized on reentry. The lunar or deep space service depends on their ability to by a little space on larger missions.

RESIST AT ALL COSTS INTERNATIONAL JEWRY (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290210)

There is no greater power in the world today than that wielded by the manipulators of public opinion in America. No king or pope of old, no conquering general or high priest ever disposed of a power even remotely approaching that of the few dozen men who control America's mass media of news and entertainment.

Their power is not distant and impersonal; it reaches into every home in America, and it works its will during nearly every waking hour. It is the power that shapes and molds the mind of virtually every citizen, young or old, rich or poor, simple or sophisticated.

The mass media form for us our image of the world and then tell us what to think about that image. Essentially everything we know -- or think we know -- about events outside our own neighborhood or circle of acquaintances comes to us via our daily newspaper, our weekly news magazine, our radio, or our television.

It is not just the heavy-handed suppression of certain news stories from our newspapers or the blatant propagandizing of history-distorting TV "docudramas" that characterizes the opinion-manipulating techniques of the media masters. They exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in their management of the news and the entertainment that they present to us.

For example, the way in which the news is covered: which items are emphasized and which are played down; the reporter's choice of words, tone of voice, and facial expressions; the wording of headlines; the choice of illustrations -- all of these things subliminally and yet profoundly affect the way in which we interpret what we see or hear.

On top of this, of course, the columnists and editors remove any remaining doubt from our minds as to just what we are to think about it all. Employing carefully developed psychological techniques, they guide our thought and opinion so that we can be in tune with the "in" crowd, the "beautiful people," the "smart money." They let us know exactly what our attitudes should be toward various types of people and behavior by placing those people or that behavior in the context of a TV drama or situation comedy and having the other TV characters react in the Politically Correct way.

Molding American Minds
For example, a racially mixed couple will be respected, liked, and socially sought after by other characters, as will a "take charge" Black scholar or businessman, or a sensitive and talented homosexual, or a poor but honest and hardworking illegal alien from Mexico. On the other hand, a White racist -- that is, any racially conscious White person who looks askance at miscegenation or at the rapidly darkening racial situation in America -- is portrayed, at best, as a despicable bigot who is reviled by the other characters, or, at worst, as a dangerous psychopath who is fascinated by firearms and is a menace to all law-abiding citizens. The White racist "gun nut," in fact, has become a familiar stereotype on TV shows.

The average American, of whose daily life TV-watching takes such an unhealthy portion, distinguishes between these fictional situations and reality only with difficulty, if at all. He responds to the televised actions, statements, and attitudes of TV actors much as he does to his own peers in real life. For all too many Americans the real world has been replaced by the false reality of the TV environment, and it is to this false reality that his urge to conform responds. Thus, when a TV scriptwriter expresses approval of some ideas and actions through the TV characters for whom he is writing, and disapproval of others, he exerts a powerful pressure on millions of viewers toward conformity with his own views.

And as it is with TV entertainment, so it is also with the news, whether televised or printed. The insidious thing about this form of thought control is that even when we realize that entertainment or news is biased, the media masters still are able to manipulate most of us. This is because they not only slant what they present, but they establish tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion.

As an example, consider the media treatment of Middle East news. Some editors or commentators are slavishly pro-Israel in their every utterance, while others seem nearly neutral. No one, however, dares suggest that the U.S. government is backing the wrong side in the Arab-Jewish conflict and that it served Jewish interests rather than American interests to send U.S. forces to cripple Iraq, Israel's principal rival in the Middle East. Thus, a spectrum of permissible opinion, from pro-Israel to nearly neutral, is established.

Another example is the media treatment of racial issues in the United States. Some commentators seem almost dispassionate in reporting news of racial strife, while others are emotionally partisan -- with the partisanship always on the non-White side. All of the media spokesmen without exception, however, take the position that "multiculturalism" and racial mixing are here to stay, and that they are good things.

Because there are differences in degree, however, most Americans fail to realize that they are being manipulated. Even the citizen who complains about "managed news" falls into the trap of thinking that because he is presented with an apparent spectrum of opinion he can escape the thought controllers' influence by believing the editor or commentator of his choice. It's a "heads I win, tails you lose" situation. Every point on the permissible spectrum of public opinion is acceptable to the media masters -- and no impermissible fact or viewpoint is allowed any exposure at all, if they can prevent it.

The control of the opinion-molding media is nearly monolithic. All of the controlled media -- television, radio, newspapers, magazines, books, motion pictures -- speak with a single voice, each reinforcing the other. Despite the appearance of variety, there is no real dissent, no alternative source of facts or ideas accessible to the great mass of people that might allow them to form opinions at odds with those of the media masters. They are presented with a single view of the world -- a world in which every voice proclaims the equality of the races, the inerrant nature of the Jewish "Holocaust" tale, the wickedness of attempting to halt the flood of non-White aliens pouring across our borders, the danger of permitting citizens to keep and bear arms, the moral equivalence of all sexual orientations, and the desirability of a "pluralistic," cosmopolitan society rather than a homogeneous one. It is a view of the world designed by the media masters to suit their own ends -- and the pressure to conform to that view is overwhelming. People adapt their opinions to it, vote in accord with it, and shape their lives to fit it.

And who are these all-powerful masters of the media? As we shall see, to a very large extent they are Jews. It isn't simply a matter of the media being controlled by profit-hungry capitalists, some of whom happen to be Jews. If that were the case, the ethnicity of the media masters would reflect, at least approximately, the ratio of rich Gentiles to rich Jews. The preponderance of Jews in the media is so overwhelming, however, that we are obliged to assume that it is due to more than mere happenstance.

Electronic News & Entertainment Media
Continuing government deregulation of the telecommunications industry has resulted, not in the touted increased competition, but rather in an accelerating wave of corporate mergers and acquisitions that have produced a handful of multi-billion-dollar media conglomerates. The largest of these conglomerates are rapidly growing even bigger by consuming their competition, almost tripling in size during the 1990s. Whenever you watch television, whether from a local broadcasting station or via a cable or a satellite dish; whenever you see a feature film in a theater or at home; whenever you listen to the radio or to recorded music; whenever you read a newspaper, book, or magazine -- it is very likely that the information or entertainment you receive was produced and/or distributed by one of these megamedia companies.

The largest media conglomerate today is AOL-Time Warner, created when AOL bought Time Warner for $160 billion in 2000. The merger brought together Steve Case, a Gentile, as chairman of AOL-TW, and Time Warner chairman Gerald Levin, a Jew, as the CEO. Although AOL-TW isn't (yet) run entirely by Jews, the effect of this blend of leadership between a White capitalist whose biggest concern is money and a racially conscious Jew will be gradually to increase the Jewish influence within AOL. Steve Case won't complain when Gerald Levin begins hiring mostly Jews to fill key positions beneath him because Case's own profits won't be affected. After Case dies or retires, the Jews will have complete control at AOL.

Before the merger, AOL was the largest Internet service provider in America, and it will now be used as an online platform for the Jewish content from Time Warner.

Time Warner, Inc., with 1997 revenues of more than $13 billion, was the second largest of the international media leviathans when it was bought by AOL. Levin, chairman and CEO of Time Warner, had bought Turner Broadcasting Systems in 1996 from Ted Turner, who had been one of the few Gentile entrepreneurs in the media business. Ted Turner, as the company president, became the number three man at AOL-TW, after Case and Levin.

When Ted Turner, the Gentile media maverick, made a bid to buy CBS in 1985, there was panic in media boardrooms across the nation. Turner had made a fortune in advertising and then had built a successful cable-TV news network, CNN, with over 70 million subscribers. Although Turner employed a number of Jews in key executive positions in CNN and had never taken public positions contrary to Jewish interests, he is a man with a large ego and a strong personality and was regarded by Chairman William Paley and the other Jews at CBS as uncontrollable: a loose cannon who might at some time in the future turn against them. Furthermore, Jewish newsman Daniel Schorr, who had worked for Turner, publicly charged that his former boss held a personal dislike for Jews.

To block Turner's bid, CBS executives invited billionaire Jewish theater, hotel, insurance, and cigarette magnate Laurence Tisch to launch a "friendly" takeover of the company, and from 1986 until 1995 Tisch was the chairman and CEO of CBS, removing any threat of non-Jewish influence there. Subsequent efforts by Turner to acquire a major network were obstructed by Levin's Time Warner, which owns nearly 20 percent of CBS stock and has veto power over major deals. When his fellow Jew Sumner Redstone offered to buy CBS for $34.8 billion in 1999, Levin had no objection.

Thus, despite being an innovator and garnering headlines, Turner never commanded the "connections" necessary for being a true media master. He finally decided if you can't lick 'em, join 'em, and he sold out to Levin. Ted Turner is in one respect a reflection of Steve Case. Both of these White men are capitalists with no discernible degree of racial consciousness or responsibility. In July 2001, AOL Time Warner announced that yet another Jew, Walter Isaacson, formerly the editorial director of Time, Inc., will become the new chairman and CEO of CNN News Group, which oversees the news empire that Ted Turner built.

Time Warner's subsidiary HBO is the country's largest pay-TV cable network. Until the purchase in May 1998 of PolyGram by Edgar Bronfman, Jr., Warner Music was America's largest record company, with 50 labels, the biggest of which is Warner Brothers Records. Warner Music was an early promoter of "gangsta rap." Through its involvement with Interscope Records (prior to Interscope's acquisition by MCA), it helped to popularize a genre whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge Blacks to commit acts of violence against Whites.

In addition to cable and music, Time Warner is heavily involved in the production of feature films (Warner Brothers Studio, Castle Rock Entertainment, and New Line Cinema) and in publishing. Time Warner's publishing division (editor-in-chief Norman Pearlstine, a Jew) is the largest magazine publisher in the country (Time, Sports Illustrated, People, Fortune).

The second-largest media conglomerate today, with 1997 revenues of $23 billion, is the Walt Disney Company. Its chairman and CEO, Michael Eisner, is a Jew. The Disney empire, headed by a man described by one media analyst as "a control freak," includes several television production companies (Walt Disney Television, Touchstone Television, Buena Vista Television) and cable networks with more than 100 million subscribers altogether.

As for feature films, the Walt Disney Motion Pictures Group, under Walt Disney Studios, headed by Joseph E. Roth (also a Jew), includes Walt Disney Pictures, Touchstone Pictures, Hollywood Pictures, and Caravan Pictures. Roth founded Caravan Pictures in January 1993, and it is now headed by his fellow Jew Roger Birnbaum. Disney also owns Miramax Films, run by the Weinstein brothers, Bob and Harvey, who have produced such ultra-raunchy movies as The Crying Game, Priest, and Kids.

When the Disney Company was run by the Gentile Disney family, prior to its takeover by Eisner in 1984, it epitomized wholesome, family entertainment. While it still holds the rights to Snow White, the company under Eisner has expanded into the production of a great deal of so-called "adult" material.

In August 1995, Eisner acquired Capital Cities/ABC, Inc., which owns the ABC Television Network, which in turn owns ten TV stations outright in such big markets as New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Houston. In addition, it has 225 affiliated stations in the United States and is part owner of several European TV companies.

ABC's cable subsidiary, ESPN, is headed by president and CEO Steven Bornstein, who is a Jew. The corporation also has a controlling share of Lifetime Television and A & E Television Networks cable companies, with 67 million subscribers each. ABC Radio Network owns 26 AM and FM stations, again in major cities such as New York, Washington, and Los Angeles, and has over 3,400 affiliates.

Although primarily a telecommunications company, Capital Cities/ABC earned over $1 billion in publishing in 1997. It owns seven daily newspapers, Fairchild Publications (Women's Wear Daily), Chilton Publications (automotive manuals), and the Diversified Publishing Group.

Number three on the list, with 1997 revenues of just over $13 billion, is Viacom, Inc., headed by Sumner Redstone (born Murray Rothstein). Viacom, which produces and distributes TV programs for the three largest networks, owns 13 television stations and 12 radio stations. It produces feature films through Paramount Pictures, headed by Jewess Sherry Lansing. Redstone acquired CBS following the December 1999 stockholders' votes at CBS and Viacom.

Working for Redstone as CBS's chief executive is a Jew named Melvin A. Karmazin. He is the boss and biggest individual shareholder of the company that owns the CBS Television Network, 14 major-market TV stations, 160 radio stations, the Country Music Television and the Nashville Network cable channels, and a large number of outdoor advertising assets.

Viacom's publishing division includes Simon & Schuster, Scribner, The Free Press, and Pocket Books. It distributes videos through over 4,000 Blockbuster stores. It is also involved in satellite broadcasting, theme parks, and video games.

Viacom's chief claim to fame, however, is as the world's largest provider of cable programming, through its Showtime, MTV, Nickelodeon, and other networks. Since 1989 MTV and Nickelodeon have acquired larger and larger shares of the juvenile television audience. The first quarter of 2001 was the 16th consecutive quarter in which MTV was rated as the #1 cable network for viewers between the ages of 12 and 24. Redstone, who actually owns 76 per cent of the shares of Viacom, has offered Beavis and Butthead as teen role models and currently is the largest single purveyor of race-mixing propaganda to White teenagers and sub-teens in America and in Europe. MTV Networks plans to acquire The Music Factory (TMF) from the Dutch media and marketing group Wegener. TMF distributes music to almost 10 million homes in Holland and Belgium. MTV is expanding its presence in Europe through new channels, including MTV Dance (Britain) and MTV Live (Scandinavia). MTV Italy is active through Cecchi Gori Communications. MTV pumps its racially mixed rock and rap videos into 210 million homes in 71 countries and is the dominant cultural influence on White teenagers around the world.

Nickelodeon, with about 65 million subscribers, has by far the largest share of the four-to-11-year-old TV audience in America and also is expanding rapidly into Europe. Most of its shows do not yet display the blatant degeneracy that is MTV's trademark, but Redstone is gradually nudging the fare presented to his kiddie viewers toward the same poison purveyed by MTV. As of early 2001, Nickelodeon was continuing a nine-year streak as the top cable network for children and younger teenagers.

Another Jewish media mogul is Edgar Bronfman, Jr. He headed Seagram Company, Ltd., the liquor giant, until its recent merger with Vivendi. His father, Edgar Bronfman, Sr., is president of the World Jewish Congress. Seagram owned Universal Studios and Interscope Records, the foremost promoter of "gangsta rap." These companies now belong to Vivendi Universal.

Bronfman became the biggest man in the record business in May 1998 when he also acquired control of PolyGram, the European record giant, by paying $10.6 billion to the Dutch electronics manufacturer Philips. With the revenue from PolyGram added to that from MCA and Universal, Bronfman became master of the fourth largest media empire, with annual revenues around $12 billion. One especially unfortunate aspect of the PolyGram acquisition was that it gave Bronfman control of the world's largest producer of classical music CDs: PolyGram owns the Deutsche Grammophon, Decca-London, and Philips record companies.

In June 2000, the Bronfman family sold Seagram to Vivendi, a French utilities company led by gentile Jean-Marie Messier. The combined company, Vivendi Universal, will retain Edgar Bronfman, Jr., as the vice chairman of the new company, and he will continue to be in charge of its entertainment division. The strategy for this merger seems to mirror that of AOL-Time Warner: infect and wait. Vivendi Universal will pay off the debts it assumed in the merger by selling Seagram's alcohol business, retaining its media empire.

With two of the top four media conglomerates in the hands of Jews, and with Jews in executive charge of the remaining two, it is difficult to believe that such an overwhelming degree of control came about without a deliberate, concerted effort on their part.

What about the other big media companies?

Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation, which owns Fox Television Network, 20th Century Fox Films, and Fox 2000, is the fifth largest megamedia corporation in the country, with 1997 revenues of over $11 billion. It is the only other media company that comes even close to the top four. Murdoch is a Gentile Australian, but Peter Chernin, who is president and CEO of Fox Group, which includes all of News Corporation's film, television, and publishing operations in the United States, is a Jew. Under Chernin, as president of 20th Century Fox, is Laura Ziskin, a Jewess who formerly headed Fox 2000. Jew Peter Roth works under Chernin as president of Fox Entertainment. News Corporation also owns the New York Post and TV Guide, and they are published under Chernin's supervision. Murdoch told Newsweek magazine (July 12, 1999) that he would probably elevate Chernin to CEO of News Corporation, rather than allow the company to fall into the hands of his own children, none of whom are younger than their late twenties. It is hard to imagine a Jew giving a major media corporation to a Gentile underling when he has children waiting in the wings. For his part, Chernin was quite candid: "I get to control movies seen all over the world. . . . What could be more fun?"

Most of the television and movie production companies that are not owned by the largest corporations are also controlled by Jews. For example, New World Entertainment, proclaimed by one media analyst as "the premier independent TV program producer in the United States," is owned by Ronald Perelman, a Jew who also owns Revlon cosmetics and who offered a job to Monica Lewinsky when Bill Clinton was trying to keep her quiet.

The best known of the smaller media companies, DreamWorks SKG, is a strictly kosher affair. DreamWorks was formed in 1994 amid great media hype by recording industry mogul David Geffen, former Disney Pictures chairman Jeffrey Katzenberg, and film director Steven Spielberg, all three of whom are Jews. The company produces movies, animated films, television programs, and recorded music. Considering the cash and connections that Geffen, Katzenberg, and Spielberg have, DreamWorks may soon be in the same league as the big four.

It is well known that Jews have controlled most of the production and distribution of films since shortly after the inception of the movie industry in the early decades of the 20th century. When Walt Disney died in 1966, the last barrier to the total Jewish domination of Hollywood was gone, and Jews were able to grab ownership of the company that Walt built. Since then they have had everything their way in the movie industry.

Films produced by just the four largest motion picture companies mentioned above -- Disney, Warner Brothers, Paramount (Viacom), and Universal (Seagram) -- accounted for two-thirds of the total box-office receipts for the year 1997.

The big three in television network broadcasting used to be ABC, CBS, and NBC. With the consolidation of the media empires, these three are no longer independent entities. While they were independent, however, each was controlled by a Jew since its inception: ABC by Leonard Goldenson; NBC first by David Sarnoff and then by his son Robert; and CBS first by William Paley and then by Laurence Tisch. Over periods of several decades these networks were staffed from top to bottom with Jews, and the essential Jewishness of network television did not change when the networks were absorbed by other corporations. The Jewish presence in television news remains particularly strong.

NBC provides a good example of this. The executives at NBC recently were shuffled among the key positions. Andrew Lack, who had been chief of the network's news division, ascended to become its president and chief operations officer. Neal Shapiro, who had been producing Dateline NBC, moved into Lack's old job. Jeff Zucker, who had been producing the Today show, was promoted to NBC entertainment president (a job that apparently was created for him), and Jonathan Wald moved into Zucker's old spot after shoving aside Michael Bass, who had been filling in for Zucker with Today. Some time ago, Wald became the producer of the NBC Nightly News, taking the position from Jeff Gralnick. When Wald moved to Today, Steve Capus took over as Tom Brokaw's producer. It is not known at this time whether Capus is a Jew or not, but everyone else is.

A similar preponderance of Jews exists in the news divisions of the other networks. For example, in February 2000, Al Ortiz moved to head the "Special Events" coverage at CBS, making gentile Jim Murphy the executive producer of The CBS Evening News with Dan Rather -- and the only exception that we know of to an otherwise solidly Jewish cadre of television news producers. The new CBS Early Show, which replaced CBS This Morning, had an internal shakeup in which three producers were fired, ostensibly for not being "aggressive" enough. One wonders whether they were also not Jewish enough. The shakeup did not, however, affect the outgoing executive producer Al Berman, who transferred to a new job as a program developer, and Steve Friedman has become the executive producer of the Early Show.

Paul Friedman is still the executive producer of ABC World News Tonight with Peter Jennings. Rick Kaplan, once an executive at ABC, moved to CNN in 1997, where he became the president of CNN/USA.

The Print Media
After television news, daily newspapers are the most influential information medium in America. Sixty million of them are sold (and presumably read) each day. These millions are divided among some 1483 different publications (this figure is for February 2000). One might conclude that the sheer number of different newspapers across America would provide a safeguard against minority control and distortion. Alas, such is not the case. There is less independence, less competition, and much less representation of majority interests than a casual observer would think.

In 1945, four out of five American newspapers were independently owned and published by local people with close ties to their communities. Those days, however, are gone. Most of the independent newspapers were bought out or driven out of business by the mid-1970s. Today most "local" newspapers are owned by a rather small number of large companies controlled by executives who live and work hundreds or even thousands of miles away. Today less than 20 percent of the country's 1483 papers are independently owned; the rest belong to multi-newspaper chains. Only 104 of the total number have circulations of more than 100,000. Only a handful are large enough to maintain independent reporting staffs outside their own communities; the rest must depend on these few for all of their national and international news.

The Associated Press, which sells content to newspapers, is currently under the control of its Jewish managing editor, Michael Silverman, who directs the day-to-day news reporting and supervises the editorial departments. Silverman had directed the AP's national news as assistant managing editor since 1992. He was promoted to his current job in 2000. Silverman reports to Jonathan Wolman, also a Jew, who is executive editor for the AP.

In only 47 cities in America are there more than one daily newspaper, and competition is frequently nominal even among them, as between morning and afternoon editions under the same ownership. Examples of this are the Mobile, Alabama, morning Register and afternoon Press-Register; and the Syracuse, New York, morning Post-Standard and afternoon Herald-Journal -- all owned by the Jewish Newhouse brothers through their holding company, Advance Publications.

The Newhouse media empire provides an example of more than the lack of real competition among America's daily newspapers: it also illustrates the insatiable appetite Jews have shown for all the organs of opinion control on which they could fasten their grip. The Newhouses own 30 daily newspapers, including several large and important ones, such as the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Newark Star-Ledger, and the New Orleans Times-Picayune; Newhouse Broadcasting, consisting of 12 television broadcasting stations and 87 cable-TV systems, including some of the country's largest cable networks; the Sunday supplement Parade, with a circulation of more than 22 million copies per week; some two dozen major magazines, including the New Yorker, Vogue, Mademoiselle, Glamour, Vanity Fair, Bride's, Gentlemen's Quarterly, Self, House & Garden, and all the other magazines of the wholly owned Conde Nast group.

This Jewish media empire was founded by the late Samuel Newhouse, an immigrant from Russia. When he died in 1979 at the age of 84, he bequeathed media holdings worth an estimated $1.3 billion to his two sons, Samuel and Donald. With a number of further acquisitions, the net worth of Advance Publications has grown to more than $8 billion today.

The gobbling up of so many newspapers by the Newhouse family was in large degree made possible by the fact that newspapers are not supported by their subscribers, but by their advertisers. It is advertising revenue -- not the small change collected from a newspaper's readers -- that largely pays the editor's salary and yields the owner's profit.

Whenever the large advertisers in a city choose to favor one newspaper over another with their business, the favored newspaper will flourish while its competitor dies. Since the beginning of the last century, when Jewish mercantile power in America became a dominant economic force, there has been a steady rise in the number of American newspapers in Jewish hands, accompanied by a steady decline in the number of competing Gentile newspapers -- primarily as a result of selective advertising policies by Jewish merchants.

Furthermore, even those newspapers still under Gentile ownership and management are so thoroughly dependent upon Jewish advertising revenue that their editorial and news reporting policies are largely constrained by Jewish likes and dislikes. It holds true in the newspaper business as elsewhere that he who pays the piper calls the tune.

Three Jewish Newspapers
The suppression of competition and the establishment of local monopolies on the dissemination of news and opinion have characterized the rise of Jewish control over America's newspapers. The resulting ability of the Jews to use the press as an unopposed instrument of Jewish policy could hardly be better illustrated than by the examples of the nation's three most prestigious and influential newspapers: the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post. These three, dominating America's financial and political capitals, are the newspapers that set the trends and the guidelines for nearly all the others. They are the ones that decide what is news and what isn't, at the national and international levels. They originate the news; the others merely copy it. And all three newspapers are in Jewish hands.

The New York Times, with a September 1999 circulation of 1,086,000, is the unofficial social, fashion, entertainment, political, and cultural guide of the nation. It tells America's "smart set" which books to buy and which films to see; which opinions are in style at the moment; which politicians, educators, spiritual leaders, artists, and businessmen are the real comers. And for a few decades in the 19th century it was a genuinely American newspaper.

The New York Times was founded in 1851 by two Gentiles, Henry J. Raymond and George Jones. After their deaths, it was purchased in 1896 from Jones's estate by a wealthy Jewish publisher, Adolph Ochs. His great-great-grandson, Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., is the paper's current publisher and the chairman of the New York Times Co. The executive editor is Joseph Lelyveld, also a Jew (he is a rabbi's son).

The Sulzberger family also owns, through the New York Times Co., 33 other newspapers, including the Boston Globe, purchased in June 1993 for $1.1 billion; twelve magazines, including McCall's and Family Circle with circulations of more than 5 million each; seven radio and TV broadcasting stations; a cable-TV system; and three book publishing companies. The New York Times News Service transmits news stories, features, and photographs from the New York Times by wire to 506 other newspapers, news agencies, and magazines.

Of similar national importance is the Washington Post, which, by establishing its "leaks" throughout government agencies in Washington, has an inside track on news involving the Federal government.

The Washington Post, like the New York Times, had a non-Jewish origin. It was established in 1877 by Stilson Hutchins, purchased from him in 1905 by John R. McLean, and later inherited by Edward B. McLean. In June 1933, however, at the height of the Great Depression, the newspaper was forced into bankruptcy. It was purchased at a bankruptcy auction by Eugene Meyer, a Jewish financier and former partner of the infamous Bernard Baruch, industry czar in America during the First World War.

The Washington Post is now run by Katherine Meyer Graham, Eugene Meyer's daughter. She is the principal stockholder and the board chairman of the Washington Post Co. In 1979 she appointed her son Donald publisher of the paper. He now also holds the posts of president and CEO of the Washington Post Co. The newspaper has a daily circulation of 763,000, and its Sunday edition sells 1.1 million copies.

The Washington Post Co. has a number of other media holdings in newspapers (the Gazette Newspapers, including 11 military publications); in television (WDIV in Detroit, KPRC in Houston, WPLG in Miami, WKMG in Orlando, KSAT in San Antonio, WJXT in Jacksonville); and in magazines, most notably the nation's number-two weekly newsmagazine, Newsweek. The Washington Post Company's various television ventures reach a total of about 7 million homes, and its cable TV service, Cable One, has 635,000 subscribers.

In a joint venture with the New York Times, the Post publishes the International Herald Tribune, the most widely distributed English-language daily in the world.

The Wall Street Journal, which sells 1.8 million copies each weekday, is the nation's largest-circulation daily newspaper. It is owned by Dow Jones & Company, Inc., a New York corporation that also publishes 24 other daily newspapers and the weekly financial tabloid Barron's, among other things. The chairman and CEO of Dow Jones is Peter R. Kann, who is a Jew. Kann also holds the posts of chairman and publisher of the Wall Street Journal.

Most of New York's other major newspapers are in no better hands than the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. In January 1993 the New York Daily News was bought from the estate of the late Jewish media mogul Robert Maxwell (born Ludvik Hoch) by Jewish real-estate developer Mortimer B. Zuckerman. The Village Voice is the personal property of Leonard Stern, the billionaire Jewish owner of the Hartz Mountain pet supply firm. And, as mentioned above, the New York Post is owned by News Corporation under the Jew Peter Chernin.

News Magazines
The story is pretty much the same for other media as it is for television, radio, films, music, and newspapers. Consider, for example, newsmagazines. There are only three of any importance published in the United States: Time, Newsweek, and U.S. News & World Report.

Time, with a weekly circulation of 4.1 million, is published by a subsidiary of Time Warner Communications, the new media conglomerate formed by the 1989 merger of Time, Inc., with Warner Communications. The CEO of Time Warner Communications, as mentioned above, is Gerald Levin, a Jew.

Newsweek, as mentioned above, is published by the Washington Post Company, under the Jewess Katherine Meyer Graham. Its weekly circulation is 3.1 million.

U.S. News & World Report, with a weekly circulation of 2.2 million, is owned and published by the aforementioned Mortimer B. Zuckerman, who also has taken the position of editor-in-chief of the magazine for himself. Zuckerman also owns the Atlantic Monthly and New York's tabloid newspaper, the Daily News, which is the sixth-largest paper in the country.

Our Responsibility
Those are the facts of media control in America. Anyone willing to spend a few hours in a large library looking into current editions of yearbooks on the radio and television industries and into directories of newspapers and magazines; into registers of corporations and their officers, such as those published by Standard and Poors and by Dun and Bradstreet; and into standard biographical reference works can verify their accuracy. They are undeniable, and when confronted with them Jewish spokesmen customarily will use evasive tactics. "Ted Turner isn't a Jew!" they will announce triumphantly, as if that settled the issue. If pressed further they will accuse the confronter of "anti-Semitism" for even raising the subject. It is fear of this accusation that keeps many persons who know the facts silent.

But we must not remain silent on this most important of issues! The Jewish control of the American mass media is the single most important fact of life, not just in America, but in the whole world today. There is nothing -- plague, famine, economic collapse, even nuclear war -- more dangerous to the future of our people.

Jewish media control determines the foreign policy of the United States and permits Jewish interests rather than American interests to decide questions of war and peace. Without Jewish media control, there would have been no Persian Gulf war, for example. There would have been no NATO massacre of Serb civilians. There would be no continued beating of the drums for another war against Iraq.

By permitting the Jews to control our news and entertainment media we are doing more than merely giving them a decisive influence on our political system and virtual control of our government; we also are giving them control of the minds and souls of our children, whose attitudes and ideas are shaped more by Jewish television and Jewish films than by parents, schools, or any other influence.

The Jew-controlled entertainment media have taken the lead in persuading a whole generation that homosexuality is a normal and acceptable way of life; that there is nothing at all wrong with White women dating or marrying Black men, or with White men marrying Asian women; that all races are inherently equal in ability and character -- except that the character of the White race is suspect because of a history of oppressing other races; and that any effort by Whites at racial self-preservation is reprehensible.

We must oppose the further spreading of this poison among our people, and we must break the power of those who are spreading it. It would be intolerable for such power to be in the hands of any alien minority, with values and interests different from our own. But to permit the Jews, with their 3,000-year history of nation-wrecking, from ancient Egypt to Russia, to hold such power over us is tantamount to race suicide. Indeed, the fact that so many White Americans today are so filled with a sense of racial guilt and self-hatred that they actively seek the death of their own race is a deliberate consequence of Jewish media control.

Once we have absorbed and understood the fact of Jewish media control, it is our inescapable responsibility to do whatever is necessary to break that control. We must shrink from nothing in combating this evil power that has fastened its deadly grip on our people and is injecting its lethal poison into their minds and souls. If we fail to destroy it, it certainly will destroy our race.

Let us begin now to acquire knowledge and to take action toward this necessary end.

Owners, managers, and corporate relationships change from time to time, of course. All of the names and other data in this report have been checked carefully and are accurate as of July 2001.
For more information about National Vanguard Books or the National Alliance visit http://www.natvan.com or http://www.natall.com.

National Vanguard Books, P.O. Box 330 Hillsboro, WV 24946.

A quarter ounce or less... (4, Informative)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290211)

For those imagining yourself in a coffin in space, try again. Only 7 grams (less than 1/4 of an ounce) is sent up in the full version of their "Earthview" service, which involves a craft that projects the ashes out into "orbit" (not exactly one that can be tracked) while the craft itself vaporizes in the atmosphere. A discount version involves only one gram of ashes.

Other services mention only a "symbolic portion", and its questionable whether they even exist. The only non-"Earthview" activity was purchasing a capsule on a NASA mission that was headed to the moon. I presume their deep space service would be offered the same way...

This is cool... (1, Funny)

John Seminal (698722) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290216)

Then aliens can find me floating around in space and use their technology to bring me back to life.

Re:This is cool... (1)

momerath2003 (606823) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290331)

All seven cremated grams of you.

From A Trekie (1)

mccoy1701 (575546) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290217)

I would have figured that this would've been talked about before, after all, Gene Rodenberry [celestis.com] was a part of this companies first "mission".

Bad idea (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290219)

So when Armageddon arrives and all those dead try to rise from their graves while orbiting some far-off celestial body, how's THAT gonna work? It's almost like these guys haven't thought this whole thing through very well.

Long Term Problem... (0, Insightful)

flogger (524072) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290220)

OK, This is just me, I know. But if we start getting burried in space or some firey ball because someone set the controls for the heart of the sun (I'm listening to floyd at the moment--forgive me), Anyway, if we started shooting ourselves in space, then the saying, "To dust you shall return" will not have meaning.

I've always taken comfort that my compost will be used for future generations a millenia from now as I've decomposed and have been sucked up by some plant and eaten by a cow and then either worshiped or eated depending on the part of the world the cow is living at that given time.

Question: how many people will have to be tossed into space, how many resources will have to be tossed into space along with the people to make a difference on the long term resources of our planet?

horrid website (2, Funny)

seriv (698799) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290231)

You would think for 11K a pop, they could hire a web designer with some talent to make a quality website!!

Re:horrid website (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290286)

You would think for 11K a pop, they could hire a web designer with some talent to make a quality website!!
Look who's talking, pal. [seriv.net]

Re:horrid website (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290348)

yes, someone not payed for web design work. Also in high school BTW.

Immortality (3, Interesting)

digitalhermit (113459) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290232)

In a few billion years this little wet dustball of ours is going to disappear in a poof of smoke when good old Sol gets middle-aged (insert old fat guy joke here). I want my DNA sent in the other direction. I want my genes to land on some planet (or planets) throughout the galaxy and start new lifecycles. Damn right.

Do it all over again, freeze me ! (1)

MajorDick (735308) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290237)

I wanna be froze and shot into space , ala Buck Rogers, 2050, Kahn, ie Countless other scifi flick, BUT I have different goal, I wanna see exactly HOW much I can scre up WORSE the second time around of have a hell of alot of fun trying

Dubious (1)

PktLoss (647983) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290242)

I would have expected a company offering such a service to have a very clear, concise website with clean cut deisgn and style.

The page looks like 15 minutes of an intern's time and the GeoCities EZ-Website-Creator.

I begin to wonder if they could even make it to outer space, down the street seems like a better goal.

On another note, I don't really like the idea of launching biological material around the stars. Wont this kind of thing make it harder to verify discovering 'life' in other places in the decades to come?

More Questions (1)

PktLoss (647983) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290260)

Quotes from site "Kosmos I is scheduled to occur in mid-April 2004..." "A more precise launch date will be specified not less than two months prior to the opening of the launch window on March 31, 2004"

March 31 is less than two months away.

This really just exudes profesionalism.

cheaper than regular funeral? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290246)

Heh, dumping corpses into space may be cheaper than proper funeral + burial 6-ft under.

And you can always tell your daughter about where her granpa went: "honey, he became a star." And that ain't a no white lie anymore.

on a serious note... (5, Interesting)

databeast (19718) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290252)

..I've always thought that space burials are one of the best ways we have a shot at 'meeting' alien races.

Yes, many of these coffin launches are going to get sucked up into solar gravity wells and burn up, but some are going to get caught in orbits around low-atmosphere bodies or other survivable situations.

My thinking behind this? the universe isnt *that* old compared to its predicted total lifespan; humankind may indeed be one of the 'first races'. By the time enough life-bearing planets produce that cycle, humanity may already be several hundred million years extinct. But putting our 'relics' (ie our corpses) out into the void, where they may survive fairly intact for far longer (assuming they have the sense to vacuum-pack our corpsicles) we stand a fair chance that something out in the distant future is going to find one of these human relics, and if they havent watched enough sci-fi, probably resurrect the human race from our DNA :-)

[seriously, blasting your corpse into space probably has more value to it than any current cyrogenics program, as far as the odds of you being resurrected go, the cost of maintenance,[hopefuly none] and value to the human race (lets face it, most of the people going into alcor drums we probably dont want back!)

Certainly, I'd like to do this, on the condition that the launch params were sufficient to give me a good shot at escaping the sol system limits and not returning to ground as space-trash on one of our neighboring planets.

Keeping up with the Glens' (2, Funny)

thecountryofmike (744040) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290253)

Great, now my neighbors can be better than me even when they die.

Launch my ash... (1)

Paddyish (612430) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290254)

...and maybe I'll land on Genesis.

These guys will PAY for your space burial! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8290259)

These guys [xprize.org] are willing to pay up to $10,000,000 of your funeral expenses, provided you get your corpse up there yourself!

Up in smoke (0, Redundant)

Mulletproof (513805) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290281)

"I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"

But you can! For free!! ...In about a few billion years with the rest of the earth.

The decay bateria are hungry! (5, Interesting)

orthogonal (588627) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290283)

Science seems convinced that in the early universe, only the elements with the lowest atomic weight -- hydrogen, helium, perhaps a few others -- existed.

Denser elements come into being for millions of years, until the very oldest stars first burnt out, then re-ignited by burning heavy elements, until finally bursting in novas and flinging heavier elements out into the universe.

After many many such novas, eventually enough of these heavier elements were produced to coalesce and form our sun and its planets. One of the heavier elements -- carbon, some 12 times heavier than fundamental element hydrogen -- conveniently arranges itself into the benzene rings of six atoms that are the scaffold for all Earthly life. It is because of this that Carl Sagan said that we were all made of star-stuff.

And after all that work of billions of years to collect heavy elements here on Earth, you want to just throw away all that
oxygen (65%); carbon (18%); hydrogen (10%); nitrogen (3%); calcium (1.5%); phosphorus (1.0%); potassium (0.35%); sulfur (0.25%); sodium (0.15%); magnesium (0.05%); copper, zinc, selenium, molybdenum, fluorine, chlorine, iodine, manganese, cobalt, iron (0.70%); lithium, strontium, aluminum, silicon, lead, vanadium, arsenic, bromine (trace amounts)
by shooting it into space?

Learn to recycle, fer cryin' out loud!

Fraud (3, Insightful)

Obscenity (661594) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290285)

There is always the possibility, that your loved ones will not accually be sent up into space. If the company only TOLD you that your loved one got sent up into space, they could easily make a larger profit margin.

Cheesy (0)

challahc (745267) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290291)

They could at least have a more professional looking web presence. That spam-like page just screams rip-off.

we all are.... (1)

Walrusss (750700) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290299)

buried here, or sent in space, we're all star dust anyway...

Whats wrong with good ol underground? (2, Interesting)

mnmn (145599) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290323)

So everyone will want to send the whole of themselves (not just the egocentric parts), yet cut costs so embalming, clothing will be out of question.

Maybe the geosync orbit will be a belt of zombies visible from the ground, from which dead bodies will occasionally whack the windows of the next space station.

I'd much rather be thrown into the atmosphere, on the night side so people would see a shooting star and make a wish. Hopefully the shooting star will not reach the ground, now that would be messy.

Wow (1)

TechnologyX (743745) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290329)

70 some replies, and no one has cracked a bad joke about Bush's upcoming space plans, and sending the dead into space

Bush "Cheney.. I'll be back to get you in about 8 years"
*Waves sadly as pod lifts off*

Urban Legend? (2, Interesting)

Fubar411 (562908) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290332)

Wasn't there an urban legend about an engineer that took some of his buddy's ashes, epoxied them onto a Mars sattelite, and wrote the whole thing anonymously (luckly for me Anonymously is spelled for you in the posting form)?

Grammar 101 (-1, Flamebait)

Angry Black Man (533969) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290335)

"I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"

You should burn in the sun for making such an elementary grammar mistake. Punctuation goes outside of parentheses. It should say "...part of me)."

Sounds like the old Twilight episode (2, Informative)

Flexagon (740643) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290336)

For a few more dollars, you could be embalmed in your favorite fantasy [tzworld.com] .

This is great - I can explore space (1)

saskboy (600063) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290337)

If I save enough money I could be the first human to leave the solar system if I convince them to put me on a ship headed outta here instead of being confined to Sol's gravity.

Sure I'd be dead, but I'd be famous...

Rip Off (5, Interesting)

SisyphusShrugged (728028) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290347)

Read the small print, they send a "symbolic portion" of the cremated body, that could be one speck of the ash, that way you can send up an unlimited number of bodies in one go, sounds like a license to print money to me!

Another rip off is the name a star after you, listed at the bottom as part of the cheaper option, I have researched this name a star after you after hearing it on the radio and thinking about naming one after my girlfriend (she is into cosmology) but after researching it I discovered that all the people do is write the name down in a book that the company has, but the company has no right to name the star (only the International Astronomical Union (IAU) has the right to officially name celestial objects), so all you get is an expensive piece of paper ($50 and up) and here they are charging $300 bucks for that a digital broadcast!!

Tom: No, actually, Helping Children Through Research And Development is the acronym, Mike. It stands for: Hi, Everyone, Let's Pitch In 'N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh? Now Then, Hateful, Rich, Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Every Time Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors d'oeuvre, And Never Does Dishes. Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesberger Tod. .

Only slightly on topic... (1)

Timmeh (555676) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290350)

This reminds me of an anime I've been watching recently. Normally I'm not too big on anime, but my brother was nagging me to check out this new show called 'Planetes' that's currently being fansubbed, so I did, and was pleasantly surprised. It's set in the near future and revolves around a crew of debris collectors who live and work in orbit around Earth. The idea being that in the future, space industry and space resources are so important, and the spaceships needed so prevalent that any small ammount of debris has a very high probability of strking into one of the many vessels in orbit around Earth and cause immense damage. Episode #3 centers around a space casket sent off ~50 years ago that couldn't escape Earth's gravity and had returned.

If you're interested, ed2k links here (if you sing up for an account) [anidb.ath.cx] , bittorrent links here (no signup, probably faster) [sandwich.net] . I'd recommend these guys [scarywater.net] as far as fansubs go.

My favorite part about sci-fi is when characters are presented in a semi-fantastic/futuristic world where it's just taken for granted that their universe is as such, without making a big deal about it. The focal point has thus far been on the characters, while the world they live in has been mostly taken for granted, so the character development has been quite nice. In addition to that, I like how the series has thus far avoided all of the horrible anime cliches I've become so desensitized to.

Some people are just born dumb-as-a-brick (-1, Offtopic)

Crypto Gnome (651401) | more than 10 years ago | (#8290353)

Skin Cancer is killing people every day and you want to burn in the sun?
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