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Omniscience Protocol

michael posted more than 10 years ago | from the axis-of-evil dept.

The Internet 356

solidox writes "There is a new RFC discussing the Omniscience Protocol. It proposes that every computer be installed with an OP Client which would allow law enforcement ('Good guys.') and copyright holders (RIAA, MPAA) to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement ('evil-doer'). The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker. It also must be able to report to the server at any time. 'The OP must be able to communicate through uncooperative firewalls, NATs, and when the computer is disconnected from the Internet.' So if your computer randomly blows up in the next while, you can put the blame on this."

cancel ×

356 comments

Old News! (5, Funny)

American AC in Paris (230456) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736965)

C'mon, Slashdot. The alpha version of this has been avaliable since, like, the dawn of time.

(Call me before they go gold with the omega release, though...)

Re:Old News! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737000)

Don't worry man, it was funny. I got it.

Re:Old News! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737084)

!New Violator Detected. Initiating Trojans.

Scariest thing I have every read (4, Funny)

panxerox (575545) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736966)

This is the scariest thing I have every read. Basically what is being said is that since you the consumer have abused your freedom (in the implied words of Hatch et.al) you now loose that freedom and will be punished at the will and whim of the Corporate (tm). In the minds (and I use that term loosely) of these people the freedoms that we have enjoyed as a people were never really ours but were theirs to dole out as they saw fit, to their benefit to their profit. The veil has been lifted and we now see the true face of our would be oppressors.

Hello? Check the date (0, Insightful)

Theatetus (521747) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736977)

It's the first day of April. Ring any bells?

Re:Hello? Check the date (2, Insightful)

Em Emalb (452530) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737145)

Did it ever occur to any of you humor impaired folks that some of us actually like to *gasp*

go along with the joke?

Or, as a certain AC around here is fond of saying:

No shit, sherlock! ;)

Mod Parent Down -1: DUMBASS (-1, Troll)

Trolling4Columbine (679367) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737051)

Did your mother have any children that lived?

MOD GRANDPARENT UP: +5, TINFOIL ARCHIVED FOREVAH! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737088)

It will get deleted if modded down, so mod him up, and allow his idiocy to be archived forever.

Re:Scariest thing I have every read (0, Redundant)

madfgurtbn (321041) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737065)

I agree totally. Vigilance is the cost of freedom. Maybe we should start a OPSux website or something.

Re:Scariest thing I have every read (2, Funny)

DR SoB (749180) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737119)

You think that's scary, G.W. Bush just signed a law, that effectively bans YOUR MOTHER!

Mod parent UP! Dumbass got fooled. (0)

fname (199759) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737147)

Mod this thing thing up! Isn't the whole point of the April 1 stories is to give us a chance to laugh at the guy who doesn't realize it's a joke. His post should be +5, Funny.

Remote Destruction (4, Funny)

dolo666 (195584) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736968)

"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker."

This statement reminded me of the "hacker" from the movie The Core [imdb.com] , who asked for an unlimited supply of hotpockets and Xena tapes. But I've seen this post before, or is it deja vu? Fact is, any system that can be built, can be bypassed, so I don't know what the hell he's talking about.

Re:Remote Destruction (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737127)

Shall we introduce a new class of troll into the troll taxonomy? Its name- April Fool's Troll. The key symptom- an exaggerated agreement with something that is a painfully obvious joke!

Re:Remote Destruction (1)

madfgurtbn (321041) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737166)

Fact is, any system that can be built, can be bypassed, so I don't know what the hell he's talking about.

But if it's not undetectable, it can't be removed. Pretty scary stuff, if you ask me. Undetectable software should be illegal.

I smell shenanigans (1, Flamebait)

revolvement (742502) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736972)

Sounds like an april fools joke

Re:I smell shenanigans (0, Redundant)

n1ywb (555767) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736998)

An extremely poignant april fools joke at that.

Re:I smell shenanigans (0, Redundant)

millahtime (710421) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737019)

This violates to many laws to be true. Must be an april fools joke.

Although, I bet there is someone over at M$ freaking out that someone will discover that this is a hidden secret already in windows.

Re:I smell shenanigans (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737052)


You have an amazing grasp of the obvious...

OMG! NO, REALLY?! WTF! GENIOUS! [n/t] (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737069)

This to fool /.'s lameness filter.

Re:I smell shenanigans (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737148)

Shenanigans, eh?

'The OP must be able to communicate through uncooperative firewalls, NATs, and when the computer is disconnected from the Internet.'

So, what was your first clue?

Who cares about the RFC.. (5, Funny)

xTK-421x (531992) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736979)

The real thing I want to know is how many times are we going to see this posted today?

April blah blah blah (0, Funny)

HomeGroove (527053) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736984)

April fools...yeah *yawn*.

Where do I plug my brain in? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8736985)

FP

Finally! (5, Funny)

BlackLeader (764682) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736987)

Now the world will be free from pirates forever! No more swabbin' the deck and leerin' at young lasses at ports of call! Today is a great victory for democracy!

Right... (1)

TXH-88 (636821) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736988)

Good luck on that.

communicate disconnected from the internet? (5, Funny)

eljasbo (671696) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736990)

I wonder if putting tinfoil around my computer would circumvent this?

Re:communicate disconnected from the internet? (5, Funny)

Manfre (631065) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737104)

Tin foil may not do the trick...try really strong magnets. :)

Why? (3, Funny)

vurg (639307) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736991)

Why did the author write this RFC? Is he sucking up to the feds/RIAA?

Misprint (5, Funny)

ArmenTanzarian (210418) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736992)

"to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement"

I think they actually meant:
"to remotely destroy the user of any computer who has been involved in copyright infringement"

Re:Misprint (1)

BlackLeader (764682) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737032)

Exellent plan. No doubt next year we'll all be required by law to go in for RIAA-branded nanobots that will explode us on command... ah, the wonders of modern technology; think where the poor musicians would be without it.

Re:Misprint (1)

nearlygod (641860) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737111)

AD Skinner has had this problem for a few years now. Damn Krycek!

Re:Misprint (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737186)

In all seriousness, I have previously been asked if I thought it would be possible to fabricate an (admittedly illegal) telephony device which would render permanently inoperable the other party's telephone...

Lame... (1)

Starji (578920) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736993)

You think they'd at least try when they're making an april fools post.

Oh purlease (1)

Bugster (174298) | more than 10 years ago | (#8736995)

You're going to have to try harder than that, Slashdot.

The penguin on top of your TV is set to explode (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8736996)

Your computer is broadcasting your OP address TO THE WORLD!

Me Scared? (1)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737002)

Well not much to worry about.
1. In a free market force everyone (100% of all people) to use a protocol. Um I will make and OS that doesn't use it.
2. Make a protocol where only the good guys can do damage. Um I am a bad guy working for the good guys, now what.
3. Undetectable and Unremovable if someone can install it, it can be removed. Its is only magnetic bits.
4. Goes threw any firewall. Ummm it is still bits I can still block any that I don't expect.
5. When the computer is disconnected from the internet? Huh.
6. This is posted on April First (aka April Fools day)

If you have done 6 impossible things this morning why not round it off with breakfast a Millyways the restaurant at the end of the universe.

Cow Doodo (1)

thebra (707939) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737006)

Something smells and for once its not me. Here are some articles [nwfusion.com] by the person [networksorcery.com] that is supposed to have written this.

Worst prank ever. (0)

idlemind (760102) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737007)

Of all time even.

What they don't mention (1)

egad_man (532232) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737012)

Is that this has been around for three years, and anyone with a Dell, Gateway, or Compaq PC will already have it installed

Re:What they don't mention (1)

Aielman (735065) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737077)

Is that why Dell, Gateway, and Compaq computers crap out all of a sudden? And here I thought it was just shoddy merchandise.

sigh (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737014)


The only news on /. I'll believe on April 1 are stories about SCO being scum or Microsoft being evil monopolists.

Re:sigh (1)

Java Pimp (98454) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737091)

The only news on /. I'll believe on April 1 are stories about SCO being scum or Microsoft being evil monopolists.

OK, Here [bbspot.com] you [bbspot.com] go [bbspot.com] !

Will this be based on RFC 3514? (4, Funny)

Chairboy (88841) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737015)

Will this be based on RFC 3514? The RIAA could easily scan for systems with the 'evil bit' set to reduce the risk of accidentally hitting an innocent system.

http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc3514.html

i say go for it! (1)

qcubed (655212) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737016)

wait until the script kiddies get a hold of it... it might be fun.

It's going to be a loooong day. (5, Funny)

SysPig (63656) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737021)

I think I'll just come back tomorrow.

Re:It's going to be a loooong day. (1)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737089)

The only day in the year when this can be modded up.

Re:It's going to be a loooong day. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737138)

amen to that

Simply patheticc. (2, Flamebait)

juuri (7678) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737022)

This is it?

This is the most imaginative idea someone could come up with for an April fools joke?

You are kidding, right?

Re:Simply patheticc. (5, Insightful)

hanssprudel (323035) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737167)

Since when is this an April Fool's joke?

It's actually called Palladium, and Microsoft is rolling it out together with Longhorn. The necessary hardware modification, in the form of TCPA or the Phoenix DRM bios, are already around the corner.

oh please (1, Funny)

queen of everything (695105) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737023)

Maybe its just me, but this sounds like a pile of crap. Aside from the fact that its just a ridiculous concept...name something that can be installed that even a skilled "hacker" can't edit, work around, or completely remove.

Re:oh please (1)

Jaysyn (203771) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737125)

Thank you Captain Obvious :D

Jaysyn

Re:oh please (0, Troll)

Kiryat Malachi (177258) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737126)

A brain.

Also, its a pitiful attempt at an April Fool's Joke. Of course, its slashdot, so the author probably thought they were being hilarious.

Evil Bit (1)

somethinghollow (530478) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737025)

Couple this with the evil bit [slashdot.org] , and what will happen?

Re:Evil Bit (1)

gid (5195) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737184)

I don't know, but what would happen if you added in the evil bit [slashdot.org] ?

/. lameness (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737030)

is it me or is the lameness of /. just grows by leaps and bounds.

fuck you mr. moderator

Oh crap!!! (1)

whiteranger99x (235024) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737036)

OMFG!!! it's time for me to delete the old MP3/w4r3z/pr0n on the HD!!!

Wait, April Fool's? *phew* I got scared there, now I can take care of some business to kick off the day :D

Now I trust that the federales won't REALLY go after me today, cause that would be evil :)

SPAM Mails are more believable (3, Insightful)

bdigit (132070) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737037)

The emails claiming to add 3 inches to my wang are more believable then /.'s april fools jokes.

Infringing Copyright (1)

term8or (576787) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737039)

... I created DesTozzer last year. I'll have to blow up the "Good Guys" for infringing my ViralWarz.

Power lines and other shortcomings (5, Funny)

gtrubetskoy (734033) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737041)

I find this RFC a bit limited because it does not seem to cover power lines. The protocol could easily include a provision to control devices that are merely plugged-in to the power outlet. A later version could extend this support to TCP capable nano-devices that could, for example, infiltrate common appliances (e.g. phones, fridges, tv's) and report back over powerlines on their status.

So I doubt this RFC would gain adoption without those things.

I, for one . . . (-1)

93,000 (150453) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737042)

welcome our new internet policing overlords.

4/1/4

NEVER. (2, Funny)

baudilus (665036) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737044)

The only way I see this happening is law enforcement forcing ISPs to check for this protocol on connected computers before allowing internet access. Those that refuse, don't have internet access. I wonder what that would do to internet retailers such as amazon.com when their sales drop through the floor because people refuse to install this garbage. It wouldn't take long to bury this "OP".

Re:NEVER. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737160)

More info about this technology can be found here [cloo.me.uk] .

ultimate interoperability (1)

Hekatchu (684465) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737046)

I know a Company that would call this interoperability :) Boom, there goes one again, because of a virus that puts something copyrighted in your computer.

Oh, just stop (1)

PonyHome (625218) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737048)

Everyone knows computer geeks don't approve of silliness.

Now, where's my rubber chicken?

Hah! (5, Funny)

Himring (646324) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737049)

Just another April fools jo.... (connection reset by peer)

wow (1)

2MuchC0ffeeMan (201987) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737055)

it's already 10am and i'm already sick of the april fools jokes...

it has to be believable for it to work, maybe next year everyone will try harder.

The April Fools jokes need to be a litter better (1)

phr0st_e (678971) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737058)

Come on guys...as believable as some of this stuff is, why don't you just post "Government hax0red by aliens, George Bush really from Mars!"...geesh...

This is horrible (1)

markfive (167272) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737059)

This is horrible. They will never get away with this. How can they even think that this will pass through congress. I'm going to write a stern letter.

I preferred this when it was called the Evil Bit. (1)

iainl (136759) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737060)

Somehow its just not as funny this way.

But you could easily combine the two RFCs, causing any machine detecting abuse to simply silently set the evil bit - that way the user is announcing their wrongdoing to the world without realising, and valuable PC resources don't need to be rebuilt. We all read the article on recycling our components, yes?

Redundant... (1)

Doches (761288) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737066)

...I mean, won't we all have Fritz chips soon, anyway?

Oh dear.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737067)

...the funniest thing about this is that there are quite a few posts above from people that **actually** seem to have been taken in by this.

Good And Bad (1)

amigoro (761348) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737068)

Who's going to decide whose good and whose bad? What is the criteria? And what about the due process of the law? What about someone being innocent until provent guilty?

This 1984, only 20 years later, but much more real, and much more sinister. In terms of protection of civil liberties, the world is heading south so far, it won't be long before it emerges back from north.

And there are other issues too. What if this falls into the hands of the "Bad Guys" they seek to destroy. What if it malicious crackers exploit a hole in the security and hold millions of PC users to hostage?

And what about the *BOOOOOOOM* *SPLASH*

Moderate this comment
Negative: Offtopic [mithuro.com] Flamebait [mithuro.com] Troll [mithuro.com] Redundant [mithuro.com]
Positive: Insightful [mithuro.com] Interesting [mithuro.com] Informative [mithuro.com] Funny [mithuro.com]

Reporting while offline (1)

tobsucht (752647) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737071)

'The OP must be able to communicate through uncooperative firewalls, NATs, and when the computer is disconnected from the Internet.'

I'm interessted in how exaclty the my box is going to report when not connected?! Is there some new weird telepathy technology?

Re: Omniscience Protocol (1)

ScurvyDawg (98220) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737075)

LOL

It is Time... (0)

WhiskerTheMad (765470) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737078)

BREAK OUT THE TINFOIL HATS AND THE BRAINRAY DESCRAMBLERS!!!! THEY ARE COMING AFTER US NOW!!!

Seriously, does this scare the piss out of anyone else besides me? I can't trust the government to figure out what my CORRECT FREAKIN' ADDRESS is after I send it to the IRS FOUR FREAKIN' TIMES. And now they want to blow up my PC if they think I'm a criminal?

"Git the kids in the bunker maw! The revenoors 'r comin'!"

Could've been done better... :-( (1)

Zweistein_42 (753978) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737081)

... it needs to be more believable & official - some techno-babble on how the protocol works and how it disables the computer - rather then just "there's this really big & bad thingie out there". Perhaps version 1.1 of this April-1st scare will be slightly improved:)

RFC Trolling (0)

KrackerJax (83403) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737082)

Ha, what a farce.

The requested comments shall be quite impassioned in nature, I'm sure.

Heh. (1)

ivern76 (665227) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737093)

Quick suggestion: don't believe anything you read on April 1st.

Cool! (1)

Dutchmaan (442553) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737094)

I just downloaded it off Kazaa *Lite*!

Good Luck (1)

TenPin22 (213106) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737095)

"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker"

May take a while to invent this. Forever ?

Someone Mod Me Offtopic (1, Offtopic)

sethadam1 (530629) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737103)

I'm sorry, but does anyone else think Slashdot April Fools jokes have just been lame the last two years.

Everyone take a clue: if your joke isn't believable, subtle, or even remotely funny, don't submit it.

This stuff is just plain stupid.

Oh really (1)

Llywelyn (531070) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737106)

"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker. "

If you believe that is doable I have some oceanfront property in Colorado I'd love to sell you...

Splort (1)

LooseChanj (17865) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737108)

So not believing *anything* I see or hear for another 13 hours.

We've already got that! (1)

spamnix (760927) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737109)

It's called Windows with DRM.

You are even boring the ACs (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737113)

This is as good as April 1 gets?

C'mon, get more creative than that (1)

syntap (242090) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737120)

I expect higher quality April Fools jokes from the /. crowd... oh well, day ain't over yet.

Solving the Internet connection problem (1)

chefren (17219) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737121)

You can solve the constant connection requirement by using CPIP [ietf.org] to connect to the Internet.

That Blamed Evil Bit (2, Funny)

Hettch (692387) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737128)

You know, I had an odd feeling that the evil bit I heard so much about last year might in some way not be used for the good of the public.

Quit posting these april fools jokes. (2, Insightful)

Eudial (590661) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737130)

Quit posting these april fools jokes otherwise RIAA and MPAA might read this and actually implement it.

Just the boring news (1)

ev1lcanuck (718766) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737135)

I'm pretty sure this one ain't an april fools thing. I mean this is what they'd do. Next thing you know, SCO will be using these things.

Yeah right (1)

recrudesce (767459) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737137)

Communicate when disconnected from the Internet ? Does it send data to them via Pigeons or something ? April fools is a definate. Even if it DID exist, blocking the ports would not be very hard using a sniffer... :]

Slashdot Readers: (-5: Idiots) (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737142)

Boy, the response to this certainly changes my impression of the Slashdot Readership.

April Fool (1)

zenmojodaddy (754377) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737143)

I circulated this email in the office where I work. Some people got pretty pissed when the found out it was a hoax... "It has come to my attention that a particularly nasty email virus, going by the name of Flair Loop, has recently been released into the wild. The virus, which has been traced back to a college campus in Avignon, appears as an email with an attachment marked "Funky" - when opened, the attachment executes a small program which writes batches of pseudo-random data onto pre-determined sectors of your hard drive. The program will then remain inactive until 4:00pm on April 15th, when it will attempt to access the data it has previously written to your hard drive. The data is arranged in such a way that the drive repeatedly has to access data on physically remote areas of each disk in quick succession, which will damage the drive heads irreparably. The drive sectors have been allocated such that the noise made by the drive as it attempts to access each sector will vary in pitch and play "Word Up" by Cameo over and over until it breaks. According to my sources, the virus is particularly hard to detect while dormant, though in some cases a glitch in the program has been known to randomly display strings of text using characteristically French accent marks such as circonflexes or sedillas while typing documents in Word or Notepad. Can you all please create a new document in Word or Notepad, type some random text and let me know immediately if you spot any French letters. This will help me determine if we have already been infected. Thanks."

blame the RIAA? (1)

Murf_E (754550) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737157)

Wow according to this we can blame somebody other than microsoft yay!!

Happy April 1st everybody

Way too obvious (1)

JoeF (6782) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737161)

Way too obvious for April 1...

New year's resolution (1)

masouds (451077) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737162)

...
23: Do not read slashdot on April 1st., even if you are bored as hell. ...

You down with OPP? (1)

The Gline (173269) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737164)

Yeah, you know me!

Omniscience Protocol (1)

infiniphonic (657188) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737171)

It will never work because everyone will think it sucks.Thats how things work in the tech sector.If it sucks it dies.

Hey, Malda? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8737180)

Take a fucking hint. Slashdot hasn't had any good April Fool's jokes for years. They're all shit, none of them are funny. Give it a fucking break, try and actually have some respect for the people that are providing you banner hits every day.

Good April Fools----sorta (1)

jedi_odin (699590) | more than 10 years ago | (#8737185)

that was a decent april fools joke, should fool the nontechnical for a little while, hey someone should send it to CNN to see if it'll make TV announcement lol... however, you're gonna have to do better to fool the technies and gurus.
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