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People with real l337 speak names?

michael posted about 10 years ago | from the real-submissions-unedited dept.

News 1441

An anonymous reader writes "I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender. My wife isn't too keen on the idea but there's plenty of time left to persuade her. Anyway, it had me wondering whether there are any people out there with real l337 speak given names (or even just a digit in their name). Do you know of any? Other than people saying your dad is a l4m3r, What are the possible pitfalls of having a digit in your name? Is it legal to have a digit in a name? Am I guaranteeing my child becomes a misfit? Am I the misfit?" Ask Jennifer 8. Lee.

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oy (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738233)

Yeah, I'm going to name my first born son fr1st p50t!!11

Re:oy (0, Offtopic)

Glonoinha (587375) | about 10 years ago | (#8738286)

Oh I dunno, I am fairly hot for someone with a Greek letter / Physics symbol as a middle name - Zeta.
Ain't nothing wrong with that ... except maybe someone needs to call Michael Douglas and tell him give it a rest, leave some for the rest of us.

Re:oy (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738317)

What the fuck? That has nothing to do with the parent post you threadjacking prick.

Post your shit in it's own soon to be modded down thread where it belongs!

Re:oy (5, Funny)

Otter (3800) | about 10 years ago | (#8738333)

Oh I dunno, I am fairly hot for someone with a Greek letter / Physics symbol as a middle name...

Dude, there's a whole country full of people whose full names are spelled entirely with Greek letters!

Re:oy (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738297)

Seriously. Name your child FORTRAN. Absolutly *no one* will screw with a kid named FORTRAN. Most bad ass name in history. Peroid.

for fucks sake.. (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738237)

How about changing your name to "bu77b4nd17"?

ENOUGH with the April Fools stuff. That horse is dead. Fuck it or get off of it, but for the sake of all that is good in the world please quit flogging it.

Not a Joke (4, Informative)

Merlin42 (148225) | about 10 years ago | (#8738243)

Re:Not a Joke (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738330)

Clearly this guy had issues with sharing the name of a A(minus)-list movie star his entire life.

In classic narcissist style he decided to get "revenge" by giving his child a fucked up name.

Good show.

Oh dear fucking god (2, Insightful)

JoeBaldwin (727345) | about 10 years ago | (#8738248)

As far as April Fools jokes go, this takes the biscuit.

It's both unfunny and the story makes no sense.

soggy biscuit (0, Troll)

Mr. Underbridge (666784) | about 10 years ago | (#8738323)

As far as April Fools jokes go, this takes the biscuit.

Like playing the soggy biscuit game, do you? Certainly not a game one wants to lose.

Re:Oh dear fucking god (0, Offtopic)

Lord_Dweomer (648696) | about 10 years ago | (#8738369)

Mod parent up. Seriously, April Fools can be really funny, when there is actual humor involved. This story looks like someone got bored and couldn't think of anything to write *cough*Michael*cough*.

Potential Problem (5, Funny)

PaintyThePirate (682047) | about 10 years ago | (#8738251)

One problem would be taking standardized tests such as the SATs. There are no numbers in the section where you bubble in your name. Your child could lose the 400 points given for putting your name on the test...

Re:Potential Problem Non-issue. (5, Funny)

grub (11606) | about 10 years ago | (#8738325)

Anyone retarded enough to name their kid in l3375p34k lacks the genes that would make higher learning a possibility anyhow.

I think... (2, Insightful)

j0keralpha (713423) | about 10 years ago | (#8738252)

I think you'll just wind up irreperably harming your child, as when they get to school and interact with kids, they'll be mercilessly made fun of. hey, if you want to be father to the next dylan kleybold, thats up to you, but do it in an isolated area where you will be the only casualty.

Re:I think... (2, Insightful)

gcaseye6677 (694805) | about 10 years ago | (#8738350)

It wouldn't cause any more ridicule than naming a kid Pubert, which is a name I have actually heard of. But seriously, some people should be arrested for child abuse for coming up with some of these horrendously stupid names.

Ry4an (4, Informative)

ry4an (1568) | about 10 years ago | (#8738255)

I had my name legally changed to Ry4an 10 years ago. It's worked out fine though most formal records just exclude it.

Epidural (1, Funny)

GMontag (42283) | about 10 years ago | (#8738262)

I can't help you on the new name, but to get the name you want make sure withhold the epidural until the little lady complies.

Skipping the episiotomy could be the next step, but let's hope your demands are met in good time.

Re:Epidural (1)

uradu (10768) | about 10 years ago | (#8738336)

Of course, she in turn could skip giving the old Johnson a good home for the rest of her life, so YMMV.

let's set some priorities (4, Funny)

tanguyr (468371) | about 10 years ago | (#8738263)

I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender. My wife isn't too keen on the idea but there's plenty of time left to persuade her... considering you haven't even met her yet. Now move out of your parent's basement and stop posting April Fool's jokes.

In my family (5, Funny)

stoolpigeon (454276) | about 10 years ago | (#8738268)

all us boys got unusual names. Makes you tough.


Re:In my family (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738364)

all us boys got unusual names. Makes you tough.


Wish I had mod points for a quality Johnny Cash tribute.

The word is "sex" (2, Informative)

gtrubetskoy (734033) | about 10 years ago | (#8738270)

unless you expect your first-born to be either masculine or feminine. English grammar does not have genders, which is why most people don't realize how screwed up this sounds (because they don't know what the word gender means). In many (most?) other languages words have geneders, e.g. in French a table is of feminine gender and in Russian it's masculine. Gender is purely a grammar term. Confusing the words "gender" and "sex" is equivalent to using "it" when referring to a person.

I know this is OT, but WTF is the topic today anyway?

Re:The word is "sex" (1)

pegr (46683) | about 10 years ago | (#8738352)

The word is "sex" unless you expect your first-born to be either masculine or feminine.
I should hope so!

Hope this is an April's Fools joke (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738275)


On the off chance it is not then the best thing to do is to change your own name and see how it goes.

Reserve the stupid name for your second child if you find it so great.

It's not that great... (5, Funny)

b12arr0 (3064) | about 10 years ago | (#8738278)

My parents named me sc0. They thought they were so cool with their UnixWare server. I'm in therapy now.

Well ...... (2, Funny)

lake2112 (748837) | about 10 years ago | (#8738281)

I am going to name my first child :-) . Because he/she will the happiest child in the world with a name like :-)

f00lz, ph33r teh l337!! (2, Funny)

CharAznable (702598) | about 10 years ago | (#8738282)

EyE 4m 51cK of 4pr11 f00lz 570ri3z. tihs 4r71(13 is TEH SUX!!111!!!
8u7 1n (453 17'5 r34l,
g0 4 17!!!!
OMG!!! r0x0r!!11!!! j00 0wnz!!

Har Har Har (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738283)

Niggers have been using l337 names for years.

There's a guy on my street named 5466757 (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738294)

He's gotta be about 85 years old. I don't know where he's from but he talks with an accent. I only know his name 'cause it's tattooed on his arm, it's pretty sweet.

That's a really good idea!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738295)

My parents also believed in using pop culture fads for children's names.

--Electric Slide McAllister

If (1)

robpoe (578975) | about 10 years ago | (#8738296)

April = 1
print "Happy April Fools Day"
print "You're friggin stoned.."

Sorry, I only know basic..

Consider this... (1)

ackthpt (218170) | about 10 years ago | (#8738299)

Be prepared for inconvenience. I considered changing my name to "Bob 4 Apples" (not very seriously) and realized lots of forms and data entry systems can't accomodate or will trap numbers in a name field. I just pre-slugged thousands of optical scan forms with names. No space for a number so you'd get a blank.

Just Plain Stupid (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738300)

Why don't you just name your kid "Kick my ass"

Re:Just Plain Stupid (1)

porcorosso (178451) | about 10 years ago | (#8738329)

Exactly ... Be unique ($diety knows we have enough Ashleys and Hunters), but don't go overboard ...

I named my son Bill Gates (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738301)

After talking with my k3wl LOL friends on AOL Chat, I decided to name my son Bill Gates. I know this is so l33t. donno why some of you slashdot guys ridicule me so.

I don't think this will be very common (2, Insightful)

MajorBlunder (114448) | about 10 years ago | (#8738302)

considering the fact that most l33t speakers stereotypicaly lack reproductive partners

Wonderful. (0, Offtopic)

falloutboy (150069) | about 10 years ago | (#8738304)

I actually submitted a genuine Ask Slashdot this morning having to do with business and the web and working with clients. I can see that the front page is far too packed with important news for my story.

Thanks, editors! You guys are aw3s0m3!

Don't do it (5, Insightful)

billmaly (212308) | about 10 years ago | (#8738305)

OK, April Foole or not, your child deserves a real name, not a gag name or a spoof or your attempt to make a point or to be cute. You've no clue what will become of your child later in life, what path they will take, who they will work and live with. A name is one of few things you have control over in their life, and a bad/goofy name can really impact a child's psyche and who they become. My own father never outgrew the name Jan (old world version of John) and forever held it against his parents. If you need further reference, look at the flack that the musician Prince put up with when he changed his name to an unprononucable symbol. Do you really want people laughing at your kid behind his/her back the rest of their life?

Name them Robert, Sarah, Bruce, Steve, Karen, Jessica, whatever. Just don't get cute or play games with your kids name. It's too important for you to mess with.

Re:Don't do it (1)

karmaflux (148909) | about 10 years ago | (#8738357)

I bet Bill is your middle name and your first name is like "Moonbeam."


HINT: you don't get to decide.

um... (1)

AssProphet (757870) | about 10 years ago | (#8738308)

Yeah I know slashdot is for nerds and stuff, but why the hell is this news?

- oh yeah... April 1st.
damn, I need some coffee...

sigh (0, Offtopic)

purduephotog (218304) | about 10 years ago | (#8738309)

Servers are being pounded right and left by some new worm variant, the only one functioning (of interest) is slashdot.

And what's today got to be? April 1st.

Why oh why. It's not even worth reloading the page.

the Master is having one of his ... *affairs* (5, Funny)

senahj (461846) | about 10 years ago | (#8738310)

> Br4d
> J4n37
Dr. Scott!

Re:the Master is having one of his ... *affairs* (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738371)

I wouldn't do that, since the kid will probably grow up to be either an a55h013 or a 51u7.

one of my first CS TAs in college (4, Interesting)

dcocos (128532) | about 10 years ago | (#8738312)

My first CS TA in college's first name was 'H' he said that it had caused him a lot of problems. In fact I just searched for him on Google and http://www.cs.pitt.edu/%7Ehcl/me/name.html this page explains it.

First use of a number in a name (2, Interesting)

Chief Technovelgist (759322) | about 10 years ago | (#8738314)

In 1974, sf author Alfred Bester wrote The Computer Connection. One of the characters was Fee-5 Grauman's Chinese. The "5" was because she was born in the fifth row.

Any earlier reference to a number in a name in fiction? Not just the idea that your name could be replaced with a number, but a number in a name.

Please give a NORMAL name (1)

Satan Dumpling (656239) | about 10 years ago | (#8738321)

If you're serious, and not just for April Fools, this is for the name of a real human being for their entire lifespan. Don't give them an odd name just because you think it's cool at the moment. Oh, and make it a normal spelling of the name so they won't be correcting everyone and spelling it out a million times over their lifetime.

Some whack-job PETA activist... (1)

donnyspi (701349) | about 10 years ago | (#8738327)

...changed her name to "GoVeg.com"

"A woman with an extreme love of vegetarianism is legally changing her name to GoVeg.com. The woman formerly known as Karin Robertson is now named after a vegetarian infor- mation website to encourage carnivores to give up their meat-eating ways and become vegetarians. The 23-year-old GoVeg.com is a Youth Project Specialist for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and says her new name is a great conversation starter. However, she has had a little trouble at airports trying to get security guards to believe her when she shows them her drivers license. She also had her mother worried about what to do if she got married, but GoVeg.com says her parents understand how much animal rights activism means to her. She couldn't imagine changing her name back. "To be named after the number one website for vegetarian information -- what could be better?""

So you can even hae punctuation in your name.

OMG, STFU n00B (1, Funny)

paroneayea (642895) | about 10 years ago | (#8738331)

|<L34rLy j00 |)0 |\|07 |_|nD3r574nD @d\/4||\|C3D l337 5p33k 17 1s m[]r3 t|-|3|\| j|_|57 d1g|7s, l0l!!!!!111@

Don't... (1)

moxiez (765428) | about 10 years ago | (#8738332)

Don't be one of those idiot parents that names their child Moon or Sky... those names sounded pretty cool back in the sixties, but now they look like morons. Same thing here... naming your kid 733t or some other idiot name today will guarantee an ass wooping by some kid named bubba 10 years from now. Spare the kid... please.

Seen it.. once (3, Informative)

viniosity (592905) | about 10 years ago | (#8738335)

Back in 1999 there was a guy at Apple who's name (as posted outside his cube) was Bo3b. I believe the '3' was silent.

At the beginning and at the end of love, the two l (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738337)

to find themselves alone. -La Bruyere wz

For every question... there are seven answers. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738338)

-Alex Armstrong wbj

Noooo (1)

Knight Thrasher (766792) | about 10 years ago | (#8738340)

Don't do it. My best friend is scarred for life by the legal name Desuma. Yes, amused backwards. Don't do that to your child! As a parent your primary concern should be to give them the oppotunity to advance and lead a normal and sucessful and happy life. =)

Digits for names not new idea (1)

crawdaddy (344241) | about 10 years ago | (#8738342)

Records show that prisoners in France around the time of the French Revolution were forced to change their names to numbers. One famous person is Jean Valjean or 24601, whose life during this period of French unrest was documented by Victor Hugo in his book "Les Miserables."

Don't (2, Interesting)

acomj (20611) | about 10 years ago | (#8738344)

People judge you on your name.

I know from personal experience.I have a strange name..Aram, Simple but different. . I've had a few people tell me what they were expecting from name someone "with a turban". Or my last name Com jean which some people think as french "you don't speak french???". I'm just a caucasion with some armenian mixed in.

My name I like, but I'm often pre judged on it. I can't imagine what Dweezle Zappa would go through if his father wasn't so famous.

Fortune's real live weird band names #377: (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738346)

The Jean Paul Sartre Experience bx

That which is called madness, that which to me, is (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738348)

way to love. -F. Sagan rig

How I got my name (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738349)

A little Indian boy asked his father, "Dad how did I get my name?"

"Well, son, when your sister was born we looked out of the teepee and saw a running deer, so we named her Running Deer. When your brother was born we looked out of the teepee and saw a soaring eagle, and we named him Soaring Eagle. So why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking?

Bad Idea (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738351)

You are a GAYTARD.

Yay! Another April Fools Day Joke!! (1)

Praedon (707326) | about 10 years ago | (#8738354)

Ok.. Ok.. Ill play along.. 1337 names are extremely dull and boring.. besides.. you would have to be a 100% Certified NERD to do that.. See, Im a geek.. I am thinking of changing my name to something a little more classy... such as Neo.. Now that is an interesting name.. but calling someone h4xx0r Smith or maybe j4m3s Or something is rather stupid IMHO

NOTE: This reply is not an April Fool's joke (1)

Artana Niveus Corvum (460604) | about 10 years ago | (#8738358)

There is a doctor in western CO whose name is 9. She's actually quite a nice person and usually goes by her middle name if I recall (which is something much more generic). A close friend of mine goes to her when she has to have doctor "stuff" done.

In its famous paradox, the equation of money and e (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738365)

becomes the first science to state what common sense and the poets have long known -- that the essence of money is in its absolute worthlessness. -Norman O. Brown ebr

Station!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738366)

Imagine how many "69 Dude"s would be walking around.

If numbers are too much to ask for, how about some punctuation. I would love to add one or three exclamation marks for enthusiasm to my name. People can deadpan John but can they deadpan John!!! I think not.

Bad idea (1)

sproketboy (608031) | about 10 years ago | (#8738370)

First change your name to Br4|) and live with the humiliation of it for a while before inflicting that on your child.

A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, V (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738372)

did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." -Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" phj

Real 1337 names (2, Funny)

BubbaJonBoy (691386) | about 10 years ago | (#8738373)

I have a grandson named Darren Andrew Terrence Anderson - initials D.A.T.A. - after the StarTrek android...
Does killing two genres with multiple names count?

Dot Com Boom Name? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738378)

In 1965, my parents had the foresight to name me in anticipation to the "Dot Com" craze of the 90's where everything was "e" something the other (eMail, eCommerce, eLottery, eBiz, eBay,...)

My name is eRick

A certain bartender decided to try to get a few ne (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738379)

on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that. -- Richard Nixon cy

No job is too big; no fee is too big. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738381)

-Gary W Keefe, on business ethics (contributed by Nathan Poznick) tvk

The first child of a Mrs. Keats-Shelley (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738383)

Came to light with its face in its belly; Her second was born With a hump and a horn, And her third was as shapeles as jelly. -- Edward Gorey bqp

It's sort of like Seven Costanza (1)

ronfar (52216) | about 10 years ago | (#8738387)

"Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service."

- Jerry Seinfeld, in "The Seven"

Even God cannot change the past. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738389)


misfit? (1)

blackicye (760472) | about 10 years ago | (#8738390)

I'm not sure if being perceived as a misfit is really the problem here. Children, particularly at younger ages are a malicious lot, I can't think of a good reason to make your child a bigger target for harassment and ridicule by giving them a "different" name. Similarly cruel names given by parents to their children I have observed were: In one family, the two kids were named "Einstein" and "Atomic" yes these were the first names given by their parents to these unfortunate offspring. Also a number of years back a Swedish (?) couple named their first born a series of random numbers and letters, something to like..his name is "x231ggseiyysxx3456etrydhf264" but pronounced "Albin" People are strange.

Hell's broken loose. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8738391)

and wide as a smart ass. -- Howard Kandel of

No 2 Ways About it (1)

lamz (60321) | about 10 years ago | (#8738392)

Stay away from the number 2. I work for a company with a 2 in the name, and it is just this side of impossible to spell it to people over the phone. The same would go for 4 too.

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