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GNAA FP (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814851)

i do not fail it. no i do not.

GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814852)

GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus.
By Horatio Brunswick

New York, NY - GNAA (Gay Nigger Association of America) The GNAA today claimed responsibility for the release of the devastating trojan Momfuck.1o1, which has caused an estimated 486 billion dollars US in lost productivity and unread penis enlargement offers.

In a drastic escalation of their widely criticized christmas island bombing campaign which has killed thousands of defenceless CI natives, the GNAA made vague threats last week in a "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website. In the post (not published here due to profanity and ascii nudity) the GNAA threatened the "Destruction of all internet" if net martyr http://www.goatse.cx was not immediately reinstated. Initally dismissed by self proclaimed security experts Cowboykneel and Linux Toreballs as a childish lark, the world was totally unprepared for the storm to come.

Momfuck.lol exploits three vulnerabilities within Linux's UPnP implementation: a remotely exploitable buffer overflow that allows an attacker gain SYSTEM level access to any default installation of Linux, a Denial of Service (DoS) attack, and a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack. Within hours of release, every backbone in the country had become infected with the virus, bringing the internet to a crashing halt. The DHS announced an orange alert when the virus spread to even such such remote non-countries as Canada and England, becomming a worldwide computer epidemic. The sequence of events that followed was devastating. ATMs in several states began routing funds from caucasian bank accounts into a GNAA controlled cayman islands account. Traffic lights in all major metropolitan areas malfunctioned, displaying pink rather than the standard red yellow and green configuration, causing unprecedented accidents and traffic delays. Radio stations ceased transmitting their standard programming and began a round the clock broadcast of a bootleg of the Village People's "YMCA" which was altered to "GNAA." Perhaps most horrifyingly, The FOX network's LOL sunday programming lineup was interrupted, and replaced by a graphic video of two men having anal sex, backed by the lyrics "Boom I got your boyfriend".

The FBI has fallen under heavy criticism for their failure to respond to the threat of the GNAA. The general public seems uwilling to accept their claims that the post was below their current threshold. The FBI's top cyber-security unit warned consumers and corporations Friday night to take new steps beyond those recommended by SCO Corp. to protect against hackers who might try to attack major flaws discovered in the newest version of Linux software, or to get a life, faggots. FBI Department head John Asscrotch is expected to resign in disgrace shortly.

What follows is a transcript of an actual internet relay chat conversation, with two individuals who seem to have been infected by momfuck.lol. It is my hope that this will help computer users to recognize and avoid the virus if encountered.

* Now talking in #eurotekken
* Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c'
* Set by SirCane on Tue Apr 06 15:57:26
<l0de> "Mom, I can't sleep would you mind if I get in bed with you?
<l0de> I have virus!
<l0de> She was wearing a baby doll semi-see through nightie, and was embarrassed to let me in bed with her.
<subt-L> haha.. this is a fucking crazy virus..
<l0de> I can't type this fast!
<l0de> However she remembered how I had let her sleep with me when she needed to.
<l0de> Oh my god.
<l0de> "Sure John, it's a big bed," she said in an uncertain tone.
<l0de> "Mom, would you mind if I snuggle a little with you.
<l0de> I just feel kind of sad tonight, I need you close to me."
<l0de> I said; without waiting for an answer I pulled her tight against me.
<l0de> I kept grinding my crotch into her ass trying to get comfortable.
<Exygone> LOL, random flag in between
<l0de> My hands crept up to her breasts and began playing with them, lazily at first.
<Exygone> too good
<l0de> "John... JOHN what are you doing?
<l0de> This is giving me such a headache! I have to go to school in 3 hours and my term paper is not saved!
<subt-L> this is fucking insane..
<l0de> Stop that and go to sleep."
<subt-L> haha
<l0de> But I could not stop.
<neoKEN> jewish hacker. ho ho ho
<l0de> I pulled her nightie up and wet my finger.
<l0de> I then stuck it into her slightly moist pussy.
<l0de> "John listen to me, stop right now.
<l0de> This has to stop.
<neoKEN> go into command prompt
<l0de> You are my son, and we can't do this.
<Exygone> there it is again
<l0de> Please John don't do this to me."
<Exygone> hahaha
<neoKEN> type NETSTAT -o
<subt-L> don't click on irc links..
<l0de> I did stop then and sat up next to her.
<l0de> I pulled her into my lap and cupped her breasts in my hands while licking her ear.
<l0de> "Susan honey, we need to talk, we need to finish this.
<l0de> I told you a long time ago that I love you, that I need you.
<subt-L> good lesson to learn.
<l0de> I want to possess you utterly.
<l0de> I want you to give me your body, to make love to me.
<l0de> I have a tape mom.
<neoKEN> it will show u all the connection on your computer
<l0de> A tape of you raping me.
<l0de> I could blackmail you, send you to jail.
<l0de> neoken- I will never click another link again
<l0de> But that does not get me what I want.
<l0de> I don't just want you on Christmas, I don't want stolen kisses, or the occasional snuggle.
<neoKEN> save that in notepad.
<l0de> I want you to want me.
<l0de> To be hot and wild and passionate, and completely in love with me.
<l0de> I want to have the right to grab you and fuck you anytime I want, just like dad did.
<neoKEN> u will find your hacker :P
<l0de> I want to wake up to find you sucking on my cock just because you feel like it.
<l0de> Mom can you honestly say you don't want that too?
<l0de> Oh my god. NEoken, I hit start menu but it's not popping up!
<l0de> Can you honestly say that you can bear to have me walk out of your life forever?
<l0de> Because that is what I would have to do.
<c0m> so umm why doesnt someone kick dis do0d
<l0de> You are the woman I love, the only woman I have ever made love to.
<l0de> If I can't have you, I will have to go.
<l0de> All buttons on quicklaunch don't work
<l0de> If I am near you, I have to fuck you.
<l0de> It is as simple as that," I said as I wrote my name on her breasts with my finger.
<l0de> She was crying now, and I could smell her juices beginning to boil and drip out her pussy.
<insanelee> whoever bans this guy
<insanelee> i'm gonna ban you
<neoKEN> c0m: some people enjoy reading it. lol
<l0de> She laid back against my chest and I wrapped her in my arms.
<Exygone> c0m - because insanelee is reading the story
<subt-L> he
<l0de> "I don't want to lose you, I, I know that you are more than just a son to me.
<l0de> I am so scared though.
<l0de> Wanting you this way is wrong.
<l0de> I am your mother.
<l0de> I should not let you play with my tits, I should not want you to lick my pussy, or need you to fuck my ass but for some sick reason I do.
<l0de> I know I can't allow you to fuck me, I can't let you put that big slab of cock-meat inside me.
<l0de> If I do that, there is no turning back, you will own me.
<l0de> thank u insanelee
<insanelee> i like the panic in lodes voice/msgs also
<l0de> I will become addicted to your dick.
<l0de> Oh god, what am I going to do.
<subt-L> this is sick... i think i want people to get this virus.
<Exygone> looool
<l0de> I love you John, but it is still wrong!"
<l0de> We laid that way for a long time, just holding on to each other.
<neoKEN> doesn't matter to me. i don't read #eurotekken chatlog. am not a tekken bum. lol
<l0de> My hard on was peeking up between her thighs.
<l0de> Finally I came up with a solution.
<l0de> "Mom I understand that our relationship is not normal, but it is not WRONG either.
<l0de> Making love to you could never be wrong.
<l0de> I love you and I want to show you how much.
<l0de> Susan, it's Christmas.
<l0de> Let me have you this one time.
<l0de> Make love to me, be greedy, teach me how to please you.
<insanelee> why are you thankikng me
<l0de> Make me fuck you right.
<l0de> We owe it to ourselves to try it at least once.
<l0de> You are All I want for Christmas, all I have ever wanted."
<insanelee> you are just an investment
<Exygone> lol
<insanelee> i need your stories
<l0de> Susan was quiet for a few seconds and then she slowly nodded her head.
<Exygone> an asset
<l0de> Her hands were trembling as she smiled up at me and said yes.
<l0de> I was so happy, that I crushed her against me and said over and over, "I love you baby, I am going to be so good to you, I love you mom," while kissing and hugging her.
<Exygone> in lee's masterplan
<l0de> insane- if I get banned I may never get help
<l0de> Our kisses slowly began to deepen, she was on top of me straddling my waist.
<insanelee> lol
<l0de> Her breasts were brushing against my chest and my cock was laying against her ass.
<subt-L> is it repeating? or is it still going original?
<l0de> I was licking her lips, sucking on them when her pretty, pink little tongue flicked out to meet mine.
<l0de> I sucked her into my mouth and we both let out a little sigh of happiness.
<l0de> jesus, how can I launch command prompt?
<l0de> Susan began crawling down my stomach, stopping briefly to lick my belly button clean.
<l0de> Then she began playing with my cock, rubbing it against her face, eyes, nose, sniffing and then licking and sucking it into her mouth.
<l0de> It was amazing to watch.
<l0de> My mother was overcome by a wave of pure dick-lust as she began to swallow my cock.
<insanelee> ask neoKEN
<l0de> I don't know how big my dad's cock was, but he must have been my size or bigger, cuz my mom swallowed my fat 8 incher like an old pro.
<l0de> She kept looking me right in the eye, with this wicked little grin on her face, daring me to fuck her properly.
<insanelee> i am just readin
<l0de> I did.
<subt-L> dick-lust!
<l0de> I began to ram it down her throat, we established a good rhythm.
<subt-L> hahaha
<l0de> She breathed through her nose and every 20 seconds or so I would pull out and let her lick and massage my knob (and breathe), before plunging back in.
<Exygone> lmao
<l0de> "Cum on my face baby, cum all over your mother's face," she said between slurps, and squeezes and soft, slow, sucks.
<l0de> I could not help it, she was sucking the sperm right out of me.
<l0de> I grabbed Susan's head and pulled it tight against my crotch.
<neoKEN> i don't know any other shortcuts to the command prompt other than the start menu
<l0de> I held her in place as I powerfucked her throat.
<neoKEN> ask M$
<l0de> Precum was bubbling out of me and I could hear it gurgling in her mouth.
<l0de> My balls were twitching and jerking hard now and I felt the sperm swimming their way to the head of my cock.
<l0de> "You want my sperm mom, you want some stinky-sticky?
<l0de> Take it you beautiful little slut, take your son's cum!"
<l0de> I bellowed as I shot the first load down her throat.
<insanelee> this is sick
<l0de> I remembered that she wanted some on her face too; so I pulled out and pressed my spurting cock against her nostril and shot it up her nose.
<neoKEN> comamnd prompt should be an emergency shortcut
<l0de> I had one or two dribbles left so I placed my cock on each of her eyelids and let er rip.
<l0de> Mom was a little surprised...
<c0m> this is gay\
<l0de> but she did not complain.
<l0de> I don't know if I can explain how sexy my mom looked.
<insanelee> 'cum all over your mothers face'
<l0de> My cum was in her belly, a little drop was hanging from the corner of her mouth.
<l0de> Her nose was dripping my cum, and her eyes were crusting over with it.
<l0de> (Guys try it with your girlfriend tonight, it is fucking amazing!)
<l0de> I wanted to rest for a few minutes, but I could not.
<insanelee> com shut up he needs help
<l0de> neoken- yeah, Itried ctrl alt delete but it doesn't work!
<l0de> My mom was obviously very horny and it would not have been polite to leave her hanging.
<l0de> We switched positions and I settled in for a long, slow lick.
<l0de> I may not have a lot of experience in some aspects of sex.
<l0de> Technically I am still a virgin, I guess, since mom has never let me fuck her pussy.
* c0m sets mode: +m
<c0m> yep
<subt-L> oh,,
<subt-L> ouch...
<subt-L> ...
<insanelee> ay
<insanelee> AY
<c0m> ok
<neoKEN> then he cums on her face. THE END
<c0m> lol
<Exygone> Lol
<insanelee> he stopped
<subt-L> haha
<subt-L> story time is over.
<insanelee> what the hell is this
* l0de is now known as helpplz
<c0m> im sorry it was pretty annoying
* helpplz is now known as l0de
<subt-L> l0de didn't even get kicked.
<insanelee> yea
<insanelee> it just stopped
<insanelee> you didn't even kick him dummy
<neoKEN> sadly i haven't read anything this well written in a long time. lol
* c0m is not a dummy
* insanelee sets mode: -bb l0de!*l0de@
<neoKEN> heh, i need to read some books.
<Exygone> this guy is funny
<insanelee> bring him baaaaaaaaaaaaack
<insanelee> i want my stories
<neoKEN> exy: hahahhaha
<subt-L> that was pretty hilarious.
<insanelee> it was all a joke
<insanelee> damn it guys
<insanelee> why ruin a good thing
<c0m> its fucking annoying
* l0de is now known as cantchat
* cantchat is now known as halp
<insanelee> com
<Exygone> ;p;
<Exygone> lol
* halp is now known as l0de
<insanelee> then get the fuck out
<insanelee> pfft
<c0m> stfu bronson you get the fuck out
<c0m> you never come here
* insanelee sets mode: +b *!*c0m@
<c0m> anyway
<Exygone> lol
* c0m was kicked by insanelee (i'm elitist)
* Attempting to rejoin channel #eurotekken
* Rejoined channel #eurotekken
* Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c'
* Set by SirCane!SirCane@
<l0de> Yhbt yhl
<c0m> well i could care either way
<l0de> HAND
<l0de> (^o^)b

Horatio Brunswick, GNAA, signing off.

GNAA radio every week, midnight CST fridays! #gnaa for details!

About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which
gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.

Are you GAY [klerck.org] ?
Are you a NIGGER [mugshots.org] ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER [gay-sex-access.com] ?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America. You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!

Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!

First, you have to obtain a copy of GAY NIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE [imdb.com] and watch it. (You can download the movie (~280mb) using BitTorrent, by clicking here [idge.net] .

Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAA "first post" on slashdot.org [slashdot.org] , a popular "news for trolls" website

Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!

If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is Niggernet, and you can connect to irc.gnaa.us as our official server. If you do not have an IRC client handy, you are free to use the GNAA Java IRC client by clicking here [nero-online.org] .

If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.

| ______________________________________._a,____ |
| _______a_._______a_______aj#0s_____aWY!400.___ |
| __ad#7!!*P____a.d#0a____#!-_#0i___.#!__W#0#___ |
| _j#'_.00#,___4#dP_"#,__j#,__0#Wi___*00P!_"#L,_ |
| _"#ga#9!01___"#01__40,_"4Lj#!_4#g_________"01_ |
| ________"#,___*@`__-N#____`___-!^_____________ |
| _________#1__________?________________________ |
| _________j1___________________________________ |
| ____!4yaa#l___________________________________ |
| ______-"!^____________________________________ | (c) GNAA 2003, 2004 [idge.net]
` _______________________________________________'

FP (-1, Offtopic)

boola-boola (586978) | about 10 years ago | (#8814853)

FP MOFOS!!!!!!!!!!!

Word up to your mother, Spidey

Re:FP (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814871)

congratulations on failing it to the GNAA.

>LOL, you fail it AND are losing karma.

God that must be really embarassing for you. im really sorry.

ok im not sorry, YOU FAIL IT! lololol fagg

Re:FP (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814962)

....damn. Forgot to check the anony option... :)

Re:FP (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815091)

That is the funniest thing I've read all day..

You owned yourself!

Kudos to you, dumbass poster guy. Have a Bud Light.

It was actually... (5, Informative)

Bourdain (683477) | about 10 years ago | (#8814862)

on the east coast too at about 40 minutes into the show for those with Tivo's.

Re:It was actually... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814973)

yeah, i saw it on TiVo... i'm on the east coast of Lake Huron,

there are people in between East and West coasts, you know... with even TiVo too, you insensitive clod!

Spiderman and the Apprentice? (5, Funny)

nightsweat (604367) | about 10 years ago | (#8814867)

I'd rather see Extreme Makeover - Spiderman Edition.

They could give him the extra four legs he's always wanted and graft some acting ability onto Kirsten Dunst.

Re:Spiderman and the Apprentice? (1, Informative)

Acidic_Diarrhea (641390) | about 10 years ago | (#8814967)

Spider-Man actually had those four extra limbs for awhile in the comic book [samruby.com] . Although, he grew extra arms, not legs.

Re:Spiderman and the Apprentice? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815117)


Re:Spiderman and the Apprentice? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815214)

I hate conservatives. If you are a conservative, fuck off and die.

Re:Spiderman and the Apprentice? (5, Funny)

Eagle5596 (575899) | about 10 years ago | (#8815155)

Graft acting abilities onto Kirsten Dunst? There are two rather large reasons why she was hired for the part, and neither were her acting abilities. Instead they were the show cases of the rain soaked shirt scene of the first movie, and are already firmly grafted into place.

Re:Spiderman and the Apprentice? (2, Funny)

b0r0din (304712) | about 10 years ago | (#8815173)

graft some acting ability onto Kirsten Dunst.

"Now how are we going to even do this, Doctor?"

"I'm not sure, she's really REAALLLY bad. Did you see Mona Lisa Smile?"

"Am I wearing a pink tutu?"

"Yes but that's besides the point. I mean, we're talking a miracle here."

"Ok, what say we just give her some nitrous, and play with her boobies. Agreed?"


Is it possible... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814873)

That we could slashdot apple.com???

Hmm, everyone download the fullscreen trailer and let's find out!!

cartooney (4, Insightful)

VC (89143) | about 10 years ago | (#8814879)

The CGI looks kind of cartoonely, kind of like when you can tell during the burly brawl when they stopped using keano and started using the all cgi character.
That being said ill still go see it... ;-)

Re:cartooney (2, Insightful)

jgabby (158126) | about 10 years ago | (#8814904)

I think that's on purpose in this case...given that it's based on a comic book world.

Re:cartooney - Not a bad thing.... (1)

BRock97 (17460) | about 10 years ago | (#8815012)

The CGI looks kind of cartoonely...<snip>

I guess it is all about the context of which you are viewing the animation. Films like Spidey and (I assume you were referencing) the Matrix I believe have their atmosphere enhanced by this type of animation. Just as how well Gollumn was translated into CG completely enhanced LOTR.

That said, the Spidey trailer had some of the best examples of this type of CG I have seen. That isn't to say it always works, though, as last summer's Hulk easily proved. There is an example of the CG just not looking good no matter what context it was put into.

Trailer or Spoiler? (5, Insightful)

Darth_Vito (693141) | about 10 years ago | (#8814883)

Is anyone else annoyed by the amount of story that is given away in trailers now? I guess the production companies must have found that these types of trailers are effective in pulling in audiences to see the movie but it seems to detract from the experience.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814946)




d_______________________________________________d_ _
e_/_____\_____________\____________/____\_______e_ _
a|_______|_____________\__________|______|______a_ _
n|_______`._____________|_________|_______:_____n_ _
s`________|_____________|________\|_______|_____s_ _
e_\_______|_/_______/__\\\___--___\\_______:____e_ _
x__\______\/____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|____x_ _
*___\______\_-~____________________~-_\____|____*_ _
d____\______\_________.--------.______\|___|____d_ _
e______\_____\______//_________(_(__>__\___|____e_ _
a_______\___.__C____)_________(_(____>__|__/____a_ _
n_______/\_|___C_____)/YAARRR\_(_____>__|_/_____n_ _
s______/_/\|___C_____)RRRRRRR|__(___>___/__\____s_ _
e_____|___(____C_____)\RRRGGH/__//__/_/_____\___e_ _
x_____|____\__|_____\\_________//_(__/_______|__x_ _
*____|_\____\____)___`----___--'_____________|__*_ _
d____|__\______________\_______/____________/_|_d_ _
e___|______________/____|_____|__\____________|_e_ _
a___|_____________|____/_______\__\___________|_a_ _
n___|__________/_/____|_________|__\___________|n_ _
s___|_________/_/______\__/\___/____|__________|s_ _
e__|_________/_/________|____|_______|_________|e_ _
x__|__________|_________|____|_______|_________|x_ _

Impotent Stuff: Please try to to avoid looking like a complete buffoon and ignoramous to the entire country you jackass. Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads. Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) If you want replies to your comments sent to you, consider logging in or creating an account.

Impotent Stuff: Please try to keep campaign on topic. Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads. Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) If you want replies to your comments sent to you, consider logging in or creating an account.

Impotent Stuff: Please try to keep posts on topic. Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads. Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) If you want replies to your comments sent to you, consider logging in or creating an account.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (2, Insightful)

Jin Wicked (317953) | about 10 years ago | (#8814956)

I love it. They put so much in the trailers now, that if you're shrewd you can usually tell which trailers actually represent the movie, and which are a collection of nothing but the best 2 minutes of the entire movie and the rest is downhill from there.

But I've never cared about spoilers. I read at least two or three reviews for almost any movie before I see it, to make sure I want to spend the $15 it costs now just for a ticket, popcorn and a drink plus two hours of my time not including all the adverts at the beginning... Anyway, I've never had a trailer or even a review ruin a movie for me, even when I know the ending in advance.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (2, Insightful)

re-Verse (121709) | about 10 years ago | (#8814961)

Completely. About 10 months ago I decided that I will no longer watch trailers. It was the best movie decision I have made. I mean you can't really tell if a movie will be good or not from a trailers. I've seen some bad movies with excellent trailers, and some great movies with terrible trailers. All in all, I really enjoy films a lot more now that all the high intensity parts aren't revealed to me in advance.

I recommend that everyone try this. See a few movies that you have absolutely no concept of when going in, it makes for a much more interesting ride.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (1)

Otter (3800) | about 10 years ago | (#8815045)

I've seen some bad movies with excellent trailers, and some great movies with terrible trailers.

Hmmm, there's a topic for an extended discussion. I'd cite The Matrix as an example of great movie/bad trailer and The Phantom Menace as awful movie/great trailer. And then ther was that Not Another Teen Movie or something like that -- hilarious trailer that prompted me to drag my wife to what turned out to be the most vile, loathsome movie ever.

On a completely offtopic note -- is there going to be another Harry Potter movie?

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (5, Funny)

IANAAC (692242) | about 10 years ago | (#8815127)

About 10 months ago I decided that I will no longer watch trailers.

So you're the guy that always climbs over me 1 minute into the movie.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814965)

Heck, why do you even need to see films these days? We can just watch the trailers and see all the salient and important parts of the film! Everything else is just filler.

It seems like most movies are being created so that they make good trailers. You see more and more of the one liners that make a trailer look good, but the movie tends to suffer because of the sound bytes that seem to be quilted together to make a movie.

Re:post contains SPOILER (-1, Troll)

Hogwash McFly (678207) | about 10 years ago | (#8814984)

Absolutely. I've even heard of a trailer for the film Identity [imdb.com] that showed footage incriminating the little boy as the murderer. If I'd have seen that before watching the film I'd be pissed! (still thought it was a pile of horseshit Fight Club wannabe though)

Re:post contains SPOILER (-1, Troll)

EvanTaylor (532101) | about 10 years ago | (#8815105)

Wow, I love this post. You didn't get Identity and think the little boy was the killer.

Re:post contains SPOILER (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815199)

was it the butler?

Re:post contains SPOILER (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815125)

I haven't seen it yet you fucker

Fine Line (2, Insightful)

dolo666 (195584) | about 10 years ago | (#8814994)

That's the fine line for the industry; I think with a franchise like Spiderman, the movie will be fun regardless of what plot details leak... I mean it's an action movie, so the total experience is what you're paying for, unlike other movies where the plot matters much more (because it's all some generes have, plot), while the action/comic genre offers more in terms of the experience. Spiderman 1 was very pleasing, but the Hulk was missing plot/char development. I think Spiderman 2 will be better, but I won't know for sure until after I've seen it in theatres (and hence the catch 22 of all moviegoers today, really). Downloading the trailer now...

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (3, Interesting)

prgrmr (568806) | about 10 years ago | (#8815004)

Annoyed? How about totally pissed-off. I first noticed the give-away trailer format all the way back with "Throw Momma from the Train". There were 3 different commercials they were showing on TV and if you'd seen them all, then you saw almost every physical gag they did in the movie. Very disappointing, particularly as ticket prices keep going up the net effect is we are paying for less and less as the trailers reveal more and more.

The trailer for Hellboy, which I've not seen yet, seems to give a good mix of enticement and still not be a complete give-away. The Hildalgo trailer, however, looks like it shows way too many of the dramatic parts.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (1)

maxbang (598632) | about 10 years ago | (#8815035)

eh, not really. who was it that quipped something about the internet being created solely for geeks to get pr0n and insider movie info? kevin smith? with my daily scouring of the net for movie trivia and upcoming movie info, i usually know a lot about the plot even before the trailer is released. what annoys me is watching a movie that's pretty funny, but the stupid audience who laugh only at the parts shown in the trailers. I have, however, given up on reading reviews. They're all a bunch of sellouts.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (1)

fleener (140714) | about 10 years ago | (#8815048)

As a new parent, I appreciate getting the whole story compressed into a trailer. It will be several years before I step foot into a theatre again, and DVD rentals will be few and far between.

Anyone noticed... (3, Informative)

Hogwash McFly (678207) | about 10 years ago | (#8815059)

When trailers are engineered to produce 'false scenes'? What I mean is that two different scenes/shots are spliced together in the trailer because they coincidentally run on from eachother or work well together. For example: In the trailer for Men In Black (the first film):

Linda Fiorentino: Let me guess, this is a government conspiracy and you guys are just trying to cover it up, right? (can't remember the exact line)

Cut to Will Smith: Psh, naw.

Two different frickin' scenes, I swear!

Re:Anyone noticed... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815203)

Hm. What annoys ME more, is when they do that with the movies themselves, which is often enough. It's really obvious once you start looking.

Amount of story given away? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815141)

Is anyone else annoyed by the amount of story that is given away in trailers now?

What's to give away when the story has been in comic books for the last 40 years or so?

If anything, this is just another symptom of Hollywood's utter lack of originality. Which is why they're so pissed off at Mel Gibson: How dare he make a religious movie that's grossed close to $400 million in 5 or 6 weeks and will probably gross close to a billion dollars or more - that would be in the top 5 grossing movies all time.

Spoilers, spoilers everywhere (4, Funny)

Gzip Christ (683175) | about 10 years ago | (#8815215)

Is anyone else annoyed by the amount of story that is given away in trailers now? I guess the production companies must have found that these types of trailers are effective in pulling in audiences to see the movie but it seems to detract from the experience.
Tell me about it. I was all looking forward to seeing The Passion but then <***SPOILER ALERT***> some jackass came up to me on the street and told me about how the main character dies at the end to save humanity. So I told him "hey jackass, thanks for ruining the movie for me. I'm reporting you to the MPAA for pirating the plot and redistributing it to me. I think you owe Mel Gibson an apology and $10." It's just as well that I didn't see it - it sounds like they just ripped off the ending from The Matrix: Revolutions.

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815220)

and that's nothing! There has been a series of colourful pamphlets released for many years that give away the whole story! I am terribly dissappointed that since before my childhood some publisher named Marvel have been ruining this movie for me!

I'll probably go see it tho, that trailer rocked...

Re:Trailer or Spoiler? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815234)

c.f. "Arlington Road"

Torrents! (5, Informative)

AIX-Hood (682681) | about 10 years ago | (#8814884)

Re:Torrents! (1)

*weasel (174362) | about 10 years ago | (#8814951)

now how about a torrent to the fullscreen version?

Re:Torrents! (1)

AIX-Hood (682681) | about 10 years ago | (#8815092)

Those ARE the full screen versions.

Re:Torrents! (1)

*weasel (174362) | about 10 years ago | (#8815172)

The quicktime torrent is indeed fullscreen, my mistake.

However the Divx torrent is not. Perhaps the divx was made from the fullscreen quicktime source - but the result is noticeably smaller, darker, and more compressed.

I can't complain given the turnaround time of the first divx .torrent - but I would like to see a better quality version.

Full Screen Torrent (2, Informative)

LqqkOut (767022) | about 10 years ago | (#8815107)

Available [] courtesy of Suprnova.org [suprnova.org]

Re:Full Screen Torrent (1)

AIX-Hood (682681) | about 10 years ago | (#8815177)

If you would have looked at what I posted, you would have seen that they were already the full screen versions.

Re:Full Screen Torrent (1)

LqqkOut (767022) | about 10 years ago | (#8815217)

I read the comment that asked for a full screen and decided to provide the link that I used to dl the full screen version. Please reply to the person who asked for fullscreen versions and don't shoot the messenger.

Yes, it works with Linux! (5, Informative)

Krik Johnson (764568) | about 10 years ago | (#8814898)

For those who use Linux, try Mplayer [mplayerhq.hu] , and The kmplayer [xs4all.nl] plug in for konqueror!

Re:Yes, it works with Linux! (1)

Simon Lyngshede (623138) | about 10 years ago | (#8814975)

Mplayer have been able to mplayer QuickTime for sometime now (using either ffmpeg or dll magic), you hardly need to inform people about it....

A redundant comment, to a redundant post, my job is done.

w00t! (4, Informative)

JoeLinux (20366) | about 10 years ago | (#8814899)

I was skeptical after the first trailer came out. However, this one looks just as good as the first, if not better. Looks like real character development (*gasp* *shock*). I also liked the character of the editor of the Daily Bugle. Looks like another weine...er...winner. ...Cluster bombing from a B-52 flying at 30,000 feet is HIGHLY, HIGHLY accurate: The bombs ALWAYS hit the ground.

Re:w00t! (2, Funny)

StateOfTheUnion (762194) | about 10 years ago | (#8814938)

I agree . . . I wish there was more of J. Jona Jameson (The editor) in the first movie . . . I honestly think that if he had more screentime, he would have stolen the show. "PAAAARKERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Re:w00t! (2, Insightful)

*weasel (174362) | about 10 years ago | (#8814996)

That's funny, I thought he already had.

Easily the most faithful, honest, and entertaining adaptation of a comic-book character ever.

Re:w00t! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815015)

And I wish there had been more of Jenna Jameson. What's your point?

Re:w00t! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815017)

This movie actually reminds me more of the comics than the previous one did. It's a lot darker and not as plastic looking (except for the cgi, but I expect they'll be touching that up before it gets to theatres, i.e. adding atmospheric effects).

Spidey actually rejects his status! You don't see that in movies these days, and that goes to the heart of what the comics were about; they weren't completely about spidey kicking ass.

Also the villains appear a lot stronger in this one. I like!

michael (4, Informative)

psycho (84421) | about 10 years ago | (#8814901)

It's spider-man, not spiderman, you insensitive clod!

Re:michael (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814963)

Friends episode:

Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isn't it Spiderman? Y'know like Goldman, Silverman...

Chandler: 'Cause it's-it's not his last name.

Phoebe: It isn't?

Chandler: No, it's not like, like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but there's no Gold Man.

Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!

Now I feel unseemly for posting "Friend's" quotes to Slashdot...

not michael... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815191)

It's moron, not michael, you insensitive clod!

Give a new meaning to (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814910)

trailer trash.

writers? (-1, Flamebait)

adamruck (638131) | about 10 years ago | (#8814914)

whats up with sequels, or creating movies out of cartoons. How come there are so many of these movies. Spider man should have never been made into a movie, scooby doo should have never been made into a movie, Xmen should have never been made. I could name off 10 or 15 movies that ruined books/cartoons/tv shows Seriously I have yet to see a sequel that I have liked(exeption lotr).

Re:writers? (0, Offtopic)

Jin Wicked (317953) | about 10 years ago | (#8814919)

I don't know. I thought the X-Men movie was really good, and I liked the second one better than the first. =P

Supervillan (1)

attercoppe (250946) | about 10 years ago | (#8814922)

Anyone else go to the site and say, "Ooh, who's that reflected in Spidey's eye? ...looks like he has something coming out of his shoulders...DOC OCK! COOL!!"

Of course, *real* fan(atic)s probably already knew this, but it was a surprise to me...

Re:Supervillan (1)

richie2000 (159732) | about 10 years ago | (#8814971)

It's in the Synopsis:

In Spider-Man® 2, the latest installment in the blockbuster Spider-Man® series, based on the classic Marvel Comics hero, Tobey Maguire returns as the mild-mannered Peter Parker, who is juggling the delicate balance of his dual life as a college student and a superhuman crime fighter.

The entertaining adventure escalates and Spider-Man's life becomes even more complicated when he confronts a new nemesis, the brilliant Otto Octavius, (Alfred Molina) who has been reincarnated as the maniacal and multi-tentacled "Doc Ock."

+1 Insightful for your sig, BTW.

Ye gods... (-1, Offtopic)

Dracolytch (714699) | about 10 years ago | (#8814925)

Yeah! Let's link directly to a 2 and a half minute spiderman trailer! Next, we'll link to a 30 meg video on how to put Linux in your HEAD!

Are the editors feeling malicious today or something?


Re:Ye gods... (3, Interesting)

HeghmoH (13204) | about 10 years ago | (#8815153)

Slashdot has never successfully slashdotted Apple; they have more bandwidth than slashdot dreams of. Apple successfully streams realtime full-motion video to tens of thousands of simultaneous viewers a couple of times a year, I think they can handle a few trailer downloads.

I'd like to know... (5, Funny)

Guano_Jim (157555) | about 10 years ago | (#8814936)

Is the sound of all that data suddenly being shot through Akamai's pipes louder than a maglev or not?

Listen to Stan.... (5, Informative)

Himring (646324) | about 10 years ago | (#8814944)

I really hope they listened to Mr. Lee on this one. He's sorta the guy behind spidey, and he had some sound advice on how the first movie coulda been a bit better. His argument as to the necessity of Peter Parker "making" his web solution and shooter mechanism made for some good sense, and for him to point out that William Defoe was a superb actor and, thus, should have had his face shown while in "Goblin" mode is something the director should have figured out first.

With makeup and CGI like it is, Defoe could have easily had his own face used without a hitch, and being the actor he is it would have been far better than the stupid mask.

Of course, people need to keep in mind that these movies are only "based" on the actual comics and Lee, et al., are not fully consulted....

Did you type that whole thing? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815019)

I didn't read it, but I'm pretty sure that you're a dumb fucking bracegirdle from hardbottle.

Re:Listen to Stan.... (1)

NineNine (235196) | about 10 years ago | (#8815114)

Makeup? CGI? Willen Defoe is so creepy looking, he could've been the Green Goblin with no makeup or CGI whatsoever!

Re:Listen to Stan.... (2, Informative)

YomikoReadman (678084) | about 10 years ago | (#8815162)

Yes, but think of every time that Harry saw the Goblin.. without the mask, we would have had this problem; he gets to act all stupid and not realize that the Goblin looks exactly like his father. Put a mask on him, and hey! It's a whole other person, and he can be none the wiser, which leads into the Hobgoblin bit, as he seeks revenge against Spidey. Granted, the mask looked cheesy as all get out, but even in the comics he wore a mask.

Re:Listen to Stan.... (1)

Himring (646324) | about 10 years ago | (#8815223)

Lee argued that he shouldn't've wore the mask in the movie (I think it was an interview on Techtv?). I'll admit I don't remember in the comics the Goblin ever donning a mask, but maybe he did and I just missed it. I read spiderman like the rest of us did growing up (I bought 3 copies of the issue where he attains the sentient-being outfit in the 80s -- I said that outloud didn't I?). Anywho, if Lee says Defoe shouldn'ta wore the mask then that's good enough for me....

Spiderman I teaser w/WTC? (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814952)

Anyone know what happened to the original Spiderman teaser/trailer that had the jewelry store heist, 'copter getaway, and web slung between the towers of the World Trade Center? It disappeared pretty quick after 9/11.

Re:Spiderman I teaser w/WTC? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8814976)

it's probably still floating around on the p2p networks, that's where I got my copy of it.

Someone at the web site "got it" (4, Insightful)

doublem (118724) | about 10 years ago | (#8814958)

I think this the first time I've seen a "Download" link that lets you save it to disk with a couple clicks, instead of having to look at the HTML source and download it by hand.

I guess they got tired of people complaining about not being able to download the trailer.

Re:Someone at the web site "got it" (1)

maxbang (598632) | about 10 years ago | (#8815084)

they've allowed this for several trailers - matrix, star wars, and some more that i can't think of right now. usually you can download the high-res version. also (you probably already know this) if you have quicktime pro, you can select "save as quicktime movie" after the whole thing's been loaded. that's for all the stuff on quicktime.com, at least.

holy crap (1)

maxbang (598632) | about 10 years ago | (#8814960)

I saw this last night (yes, I watched the apprentice, but only to eye that cute little blonde on there) and it was awesome. From ED, to Herc, and now to one of the worlds most beloved comic heroes, Sam Raimi keeps making awesome stuff. I was a little annoyed at "another Hollywood sequel" a few months back, but after watching the longer trailer, I'm more than excited. In fact, there are three things on my body that are hard right now. I'll leave it to you to figure out what they are.

Much better (4, Informative)

slaad (589282) | about 10 years ago | (#8814964)

Ah, nice. This is much better than the old trailer ("teaser trailer") I saw a couple of months ago that started off with Peter and Mary-Jane in a diner with a car crashing in. Although that one isn't bad at all. Check out the movie's website [sonypictures.com] and click on "watch it now" under the Full Length Trailer section to see the original teaser and some other stuff as well.

So? (1, Funny)

b12arr0 (3064) | about 10 years ago | (#8814988)

What's so great about spider-man's trailer? I lived in a double wide for years. Don't see anyone getting excited about that. Oh, his probably is full of webs and he probably sleeps in a web-hammock. I Got it.

Where's that webbing coming out from? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815016)

If Peter Parker has spider-like abilities and powers, shouldn't the webbing be coming out of his butthole or pee-pee? I'd pay to see that on screen.

Hooligans. (5, Funny)

blair1q (305137) | about 10 years ago | (#8815026)

Slashdot really needs to be more considerate of small, startup-quality companies like Apple.

Think of the dropped packets.

Great evil villain to get ass kicked (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815034)

I hate that Amoroso. Please have Spidey thoroughly kick her ass please. The bitch just doesn't want to do her job and will end up in politics unless Spiderman saves the day. He could say something like "Your fired!" just before he kicks her skull in.

Yay! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815074)

Let's all go see Spiderman 2! And then let's all come back here and bitch about what the MPAA does with all the money we just gave them!

Most curious (1, Funny)

fleener (140714) | about 10 years ago | (#8815108)

I downloaded the 45.3MB zipped trailer. Then I had to unzip the 46.3MB Quicktime file and delete the zip file. Wow, they saved a whole megabyte in the transfer. Is their bandwidth savings worth the hoops they make their customers jump through?

Re:Most curious (3, Insightful)

GR|MLOCK (203716) | about 10 years ago | (#8815237)

If you want people to download something from your website, you zip it. Pretty much all browsers know how to handle a .zip file. They save it to disk. If you give a link to a .mov, crazy things can happen. People who don't get the whole right-click thing just click on it, and then the QuickTime plugin takes over and loads the thing.

It's all about MIME types.

Re:Most curious (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815241)

wahhhhh wahhhhhhh wa wa wahhhhhhhhhh

fricking baby.

Does Apple Profit from Trailers? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815115)

Seeing trailers on Apple's web site for awhile, I am now curious, if (I'm sure they do) and how much Apple profits from such trailers on its site.

Could someone provide some insight?

Perhaps the more views the trailer receives, the more $$$ Apple receives? Or, maybe Apple does not profit at all, only attempting to increase exposure for Quicktime?

Spiderman Trailer World Premier (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815140)

This is the first time i've actually fallen asleep during the trailer of a movie.

Potential (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#8815169)

Spiderman has the potential of being the best comic book converted to movie series.

My 2 cents:

Superman - Classic. Great. But didnt have the technology to bring the movies to their full potential. Story started to fade as it approached the later movies. Didn't fully capture the superman comic.

Batman - First one was great, possibly one of the best Comic book Movies EVER. The rest...well you've seen them. Storyline altered to make it more entertaining.

X-Men - Fantastic movies. Very entertaining to watch. Difficult comic to convert into a movie series b/c of the huge personalities of every character. There is no way to capture the true greatness of the comic books without having 5 LOTR length movies.

Spiderman - First one was fantastic. Showed the depth of Peter Parker, Mary Jane and Harry Osborn. Only time will tell if the second movie can bring story together while still keeping us entertained. All the conflicts that Spiderman/Peter must face with Mary Jane and Harry will truely be interesting if done right. In addition, we have Dr. Octavus being introduced which is one of my favorite comic villians[possibly making my opinion bias :-)].
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