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Laser Vision Offers New Insights

CmdrTaco posted more than 10 years ago | from the it-burns-mommy dept.

Technology 249

squidgy writes "The BBC are reporting on a system that can superimpose images over your vision using small lasers beaming the images directly onto the retina. This is already being used in the car manufacturing industry. You too could soon have T101 vision."

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LOL DIKKY PWNZ J00 LØOL GANAAA (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982620)

GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus.
By Horatio Brunswick

New York, NY - GNAA (Gay Nigger Association of America) The GNAA today claimed responsibility for the release of the devastating trojan Momfuck.1o1, which has caused an estimated 486 billion dollars US in lost productivity and unread penis enlargement offers.

In a drastic escalation of their widely criticized christmas island bombing campaign which has killed thousands of defenceless CI natives, the GNAA made vague threats last week in a "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website. In the post (not published here due to profanity and ascii nudity) the GNAA threatened the "Destruction of all internet" if net martyr http://www.goatse.cx was not immediately reinstated. Initally dismissed by self proclaimed security experts Cowboykneel and Linux Toreballs as a childish lark, the world was totally unprepared for the storm to come.

Momfuck.lol exploits three vulnerabilities within Linux's UPnP implementation: a remotely exploitable buffer overflow that allows an attacker gain SYSTEM level access to any default installation of Linux, a Denial of Service (DoS) attack, and a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack. Within hours of release, every backbone in the country had become infected with the virus, bringing the internet to a crashing halt. The DHS announced an orange alert when the virus spread to even such such remote non-countries as Canada and England, becomming a worldwide computer epidemic. The sequence of events that followed was devastating. ATMs in several states began routing funds from caucasian bank accounts into a GNAA controlled cayman islands account. Traffic lights in all major metropolitan areas malfunctioned, displaying pink rather than the standard red yellow and green configuration, causing unprecedented accidents and traffic delays. Radio stations ceased transmitting their standard programming and began a round the clock broadcast of a bootleg of the Village People's "YMCA" which was altered to "GNAA." Perhaps most horrifyingly, The FOX network's LOL sunday programming lineup was interrupted, and replaced by a graphic video of two men having anal sex, backed by the lyrics "Boom I got your boyfriend".


The FBI has fallen under heavy criticism for their failure to respond to the threat of the GNAA. The general public seems uwilling to accept their claims that the post was below their current threshold. The FBI's top cyber-security unit warned consumers and corporations Friday night to take new steps beyond those recommended by SCO Corp. to protect against hackers who might try to attack major flaws discovered in the newest version of Linux software, or to get a life, faggots. FBI Department head John Asscrotch is expected to resign in disgrace shortly.

What follows is a transcript of an actual internet relay chat conversation, with two individuals who seem to have been infected by momfuck.lol. It is my hope that this will help computer users to recognize and avoid the virus if encountered.


* Now talking in #eurotekken
* Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c'
* Set by SirCane on Tue Apr 06 15:57:26
<l0de> "Mom, I can't sleep would you mind if I get in bed with you?
<l0de> I have virus!
<l0de> She was wearing a baby doll semi-see through nightie, and was embarrassed to let me in bed with her.
<subt-L> haha.. this is a fucking crazy virus..
<l0de> I can't type this fast!
<l0de> However she remembered how I had let her sleep with me when she needed to.
<l0de> Oh my god.
<l0de> "Sure John, it's a big bed," she said in an uncertain tone.
<l0de> "Mom, would you mind if I snuggle a little with you.
<l0de> I just feel kind of sad tonight, I need you close to me."
<l0de> I said; without waiting for an answer I pulled her tight against me.
<l0de> I kept grinding my crotch into her ass trying to get comfortable.
<Exygone> LOL, random flag in between
<l0de> My hands crept up to her breasts and began playing with them, lazily at first.
<Exygone> too good
<l0de> "John... JOHN what are you doing?
<l0de> This is giving me such a headache! I have to go to school in 3 hours and my term paper is not saved!
<subt-L> this is fucking insane..
<l0de> Stop that and go to sleep."
<subt-L> haha
<l0de> But I could not stop.
<neoKEN> jewish hacker. ho ho ho
<l0de> I pulled her nightie up and wet my finger.
<l0de> I then stuck it into her slightly moist pussy.
<l0de> "John listen to me, stop right now.
<l0de> This has to stop.
<neoKEN> go into command prompt
<l0de> You are my son, and we can't do this.
<Exygone> there it is again
<l0de> Please John don't do this to me."
<Exygone> hahaha
<neoKEN> type NETSTAT -o
<subt-L> don't click on irc links..
<l0de> I did stop then and sat up next to her.
<l0de> I pulled her into my lap and cupped her breasts in my hands while licking her ear.
<l0de> "Susan honey, we need to talk, we need to finish this.
<l0de> I told you a long time ago that I love you, that I need you.
<subt-L> good lesson to learn.
<l0de> I want to possess you utterly.
<l0de> I want you to give me your body, to make love to me.
<l0de> I have a tape mom.
<neoKEN> it will show u all the connection on your computer
<l0de> A tape of you raping me.
<l0de> I could blackmail you, send you to jail.
<l0de> neoken- I will never click another link again
<l0de> But that does not get me what I want.
<l0de> I don't just want you on Christmas, I don't want stolen kisses, or the occasional snuggle.
<neoKEN> save that in notepad.
<l0de> I want you to want me.
<l0de> To be hot and wild and passionate, and completely in love with me.
<l0de> I want to have the right to grab you and fuck you anytime I want, just like dad did.
<neoKEN> u will find your hacker :P
<l0de> I want to wake up to find you sucking on my cock just because you feel like it.
<l0de> Mom can you honestly say you don't want that too?
<l0de> Oh my god. NEoken, I hit start menu but it's not popping up!
<l0de> Can you honestly say that you can bear to have me walk out of your life forever?
<l0de> Because that is what I would have to do.
<c0m> so umm why doesnt someone kick dis do0d
<l0de> You are the woman I love, the only woman I have ever made love to.
<l0de> If I can't have you, I will have to go.
<l0de> All buttons on quicklaunch don't work
<l0de> If I am near you, I have to fuck you.
<l0de> It is as simple as that," I said as I wrote my name on her breasts with my finger.
<l0de> She was crying now, and I could smell her juices beginning to boil and drip out her pussy.
<insanelee> whoever bans this guy
<insanelee> i'm gonna ban you
<neoKEN> c0m: some people enjoy reading it. lol
<l0de> She laid back against my chest and I wrapped her in my arms.
<Exygone> c0m - because insanelee is reading the story
<subt-L> he
<l0de> "I don't want to lose you, I, I know that you are more than just a son to me.
<l0de> I am so scared though.
<l0de> Wanting you this way is wrong.
<l0de> I am your mother.
<l0de> I should not let you play with my tits, I should not want you to lick my pussy, or need you to fuck my ass but for some sick reason I do.
<l0de> I know I can't allow you to fuck me, I can't let you put that big slab of cock-meat inside me.
<l0de> If I do that, there is no turning back, you will own me.
<l0de> thank u insanelee
<insanelee> i like the panic in lodes voice/msgs also
<l0de> I will become addicted to your dick.
<l0de> Oh god, what am I going to do.
<subt-L> this is sick... i think i want people to get this virus.
<Exygone> looool
<l0de> I love you John, but it is still wrong!"
<l0de> We laid that way for a long time, just holding on to each other.
<neoKEN> doesn't matter to me. i don't read #eurotekken chatlog. am not a tekken bum. lol
<l0de> My hard on was peeking up between her thighs.
<l0de> Finally I came up with a solution.
<l0de> "Mom I understand that our relationship is not normal, but it is not WRONG either.
<l0de> Making love to you could never be wrong.
<l0de> I love you and I want to show you how much.
<l0de> Susan, it's Christmas.
<l0de> Let me have you this one time.
<l0de> Make love to me, be greedy, teach me how to please you.
<insanelee> why are you thankikng me
<l0de> Make me fuck you right.
<l0de> We owe it to ourselves to try it at least once.
<l0de> You are All I want for Christmas, all I have ever wanted."
<insanelee> you are just an investment
<Exygone> lol
<insanelee> i need your stories
<l0de> Susan was quiet for a few seconds and then she slowly nodded her head.
<Exygone> an asset
<l0de> Her hands were trembling as she smiled up at me and said yes.
<l0de> I was so happy, that I crushed her against me and said over and over, "I love you baby, I am going to be so good to you, I love you mom," while kissing and hugging her.
<Exygone> in lee's masterplan
<l0de> insane- if I get banned I may never get help
<l0de> Our kisses slowly began to deepen, she was on top of me straddling my waist.
<insanelee> lol
<l0de> Her breasts were brushing against my chest and my cock was laying against her ass.
<subt-L> is it repeating? or is it still going original?
<l0de> I was licking her lips, sucking on them when her pretty, pink little tongue flicked out to meet mine.
<l0de> I sucked her into my mouth and we both let out a little sigh of happiness.
<l0de> jesus, how can I launch command prompt?
<l0de> Susan began crawling down my stomach, stopping briefly to lick my belly button clean.
<l0de> Then she began playing with my cock, rubbing it against her face, eyes, nose, sniffing and then licking and sucking it into her mouth.
<l0de> It was amazing to watch.
<l0de> My mother was overcome by a wave of pure dick-lust as she began to swallow my cock.
<insanelee> ask neoKEN
<l0de> I don't know how big my dad's cock was, but he must have been my size or bigger, cuz my mom swallowed my fat 8 incher like an old pro.
<l0de> She kept looking me right in the eye, with this wicked little grin on her face, daring me to fuck her properly.
<insanelee> i am just readin
<l0de> I did.
<subt-L> dick-lust!
<l0de> I began to ram it down her throat, we established a good rhythm.
<subt-L> hahaha
<l0de> She breathed through her nose and every 20 seconds or so I would pull out and let her lick and massage my knob (and breathe), before plunging back in.
<Exygone> lmao
<l0de> "Cum on my face baby, cum all over your mother's face," she said between slurps, and squeezes and soft, slow, sucks.
<l0de> I could not help it, she was sucking the sperm right out of me.
<l0de> I grabbed Susan's head and pulled it tight against my crotch.
<neoKEN> i don't know any other shortcuts to the command prompt other than the start menu
<l0de> I held her in place as I powerfucked her throat.
<neoKEN> ask M$
<l0de> Precum was bubbling out of me and I could hear it gurgling in her mouth.
<l0de> My balls were twitching and jerking hard now and I felt the sperm swimming their way to the head of my cock.
<l0de> "You want my sperm mom, you want some stinky-sticky?
<l0de> Take it you beautiful little slut, take your son's cum!"
<l0de> I bellowed as I shot the first load down her throat.
<insanelee> this is sick
<l0de> I remembered that she wanted some on her face too; so I pulled out and pressed my spurting cock against her nostril and shot it up her nose.
<neoKEN> comamnd prompt should be an emergency shortcut
<l0de> I had one or two dribbles left so I placed my cock on each of her eyelids and let er rip.
<l0de> Mom was a little surprised...
<c0m> this is gay\
<l0de> but she did not complain.
<l0de> I don't know if I can explain how sexy my mom looked.
<insanelee> 'cum all over your mothers face'
<l0de> My cum was in her belly, a little drop was hanging from the corner of her mouth.
<l0de> Her nose was dripping my cum, and her eyes were crusting over with it.
<l0de> (Guys try it with your girlfriend tonight, it is fucking amazing!)
<l0de> I wanted to rest for a few minutes, but I could not.
<insanelee> com shut up he needs help
<l0de> neoken- yeah, Itried ctrl alt delete but it doesn't work!
<l0de> My mom was obviously very horny and it would not have been polite to leave her hanging.
<l0de> We switched positions and I settled in for a long, slow lick.
<l0de> I may not have a lot of experience in some aspects of sex.
<l0de> Technically I am still a virgin, I guess, since mom has never let me fuck her pussy.
* c0m sets mode: +m
<c0m> yep
<subt-L> oh,,
<subt-L> ouch...
<subt-L> ...
<insanelee> ay
<insanelee> AY
<c0m> ok
<neoKEN> then he cums on her face. THE END
<c0m> lol
<Exygone> Lol
<insanelee> he stopped
<subt-L> haha
<subt-L> story time is over.
<insanelee> what the hell is this
* l0de is now known as helpplz
<insanelee> WHAT HAPPEN TO MY STORIES
<c0m> im sorry it was pretty annoying
* helpplz is now known as l0de
<subt-L> l0de didn't even get kicked.
<insanelee> yea
<insanelee> it just stopped
<insanelee> you didn't even kick him dummy
<neoKEN> sadly i haven't read anything this well written in a long time. lol
* c0m is not a dummy
* insanelee sets mode: -bb l0de!*l0de@
<neoKEN> heh, i need to read some books.
<Exygone> this guy is funny
<insanelee> bring him baaaaaaaaaaaaack
<insanelee> i want my stories
<neoKEN> exy: hahahhaha
<subt-L> that was pretty hilarious.
<insanelee> it was all a joke
<insanelee> damn it guys
<insanelee> why ruin a good thing
<c0m> its fucking annoying
* l0de is now known as cantchat
* cantchat is now known as halp
<insanelee> com
<Exygone> ;p;
<Exygone> lol
* halp is now known as l0de
<insanelee> then get the fuck out
<insanelee> pfft
<c0m> stfu bronson you get the fuck out
<c0m> you never come here
<Exygone> WHAAAAAAAAAAAT
* insanelee sets mode: +b *!*c0m@
<c0m> anyway
<Exygone> lol
* c0m was kicked by insanelee (i'm elitist)
Disconnected
* Attempting to rejoin channel #eurotekken
* Rejoined channel #eurotekken
* Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c'
* Set by SirCane!SirCane@
<l0de> Yhbt yhl
<c0m> well i could care either way
<l0de> HAND
<l0de> (^o^)b
/part


Horatio Brunswick, GNAA, signing off.

GNAA radio every week, midnight CST fridays! #gnaa for details!

About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which
gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.

Are you GAY [klerck.org] ?
Are you a NIGGER [mugshots.org] ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER [gay-sex-access.com] ?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America. You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!

Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!

First, you have to obtain a copy of GAY NIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE [imdb.com] and watch it. (You can download the movie (~280mb) using BitTorrent, by clicking here [idge.net] .

Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAA "first post" on slashdot.org [slashdot.org] , a popular "news for trolls" website

Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
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________________________________________________
| ______________________________________._a,____ |
| _______a_._______a_______aj#0s_____aWY!400.___ |
| __ad#7!!*P____a.d#0a____#!-_#0i___.#!__W#0#___ |
| _j#'_.00#,___4#dP_"#,__j#,__0#Wi___*00P!_"#L,_ |
| _"#ga#9!01___"#01__40,_"4Lj#!_4#g_________"01_ |
| ________"#,___*@`__-N#____`___-!^_____________ |
| _________#1__________?________________________ |
| _________j1___________________________________ |
| ____a,___jk_GAY_NIGGER_ASSOCIATION_OF_AMERICA_ |
| ____!4yaa#l___________________________________ |
| ______-"!^____________________________________ | (c) GNAA 2003, 2004 [idge.net]
` _______________________________________________'

It ain't pretty, this world we live in... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982819)

JIM CROW FOR HOMOS [metafilter.com]

The real innovation (5, Interesting)

andy666 (666062) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982626)

Is the use of adaptive optics for imaging the retina. This involves using deformable mirrors or micromirror arrays to sense how the retina deforms a wavefront.

Re:The real innovation (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982631)

off topic...

Sharks (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982664)

Now all we need are friggin HUMANS with friggin lasers attached fo their foreheads

Re:Sharks (1)

datan (659165) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982913)

I was thinking more of the borg...

Yikes (5, Funny)

CaseyB (1105) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982632)

Anyone else immediately think of the old "set refresh rate to zero" hack that used to be able to burn out monitors?

Re:Yikes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982671)

A while back UK TV had some mini-series based on "killer lasers virtuality headsets". The plot was based on this concept.

From this article, the laser is very low power - 1/1000th watt.

Re:Yikes (-1, Flamebait)

Pxtl (151020) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982723)

Jesus, and you people call yourself nerds. Am I the only person here who read Snow Crash? This is just like the VR in that book.

Learn to read people.

Re:Yikes (3, Insightful)

Catbeller (118204) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982959)

Apparently SF is not read anymore. Only "SciFi" like Andromeda and Star Trek stays in the collective memory, it seems. And those are derivative of much older and far more literate work.

Heinlein, Asimov, DeCamp, Pohl, Anderson, Campbell. Kuttner, Clarke, Stephenson, Gibson... all that history, all that work in vain? No one reads anymore?

This is OUR history! I grew up reading stories from the 30's, 40's and 50's. The source material for the people who grew up and built the present world. Snow Crash pretty much predicted the present so well that it doesn't even read like fiction.

I guess I'm spooked because I can't find people of a certain younger age who read SF anymore. A culture is built on stories, and geek culture is losing its own.

Re:Yikes (0, Offtopic)

F34nor (321515) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983064)

Read Iain M. Banks, you'll be glad you did.

Why have V.R. when you could have 28 extra glands to produce any drug combination you could want?

Re:Yikes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982828)

Go get a magnet and put it in the center of the monitor or tv glass.

Or wait until a rug rat waddles up with a magnet and does it for you.

The only important question (3, Funny)

triptolemeus (538604) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982637)

One will I get X-ray vision?

Re:The only important question (3, Interesting)

Analogy Man (601298) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982769)

In effect for instances were you are looking at something of known shape you get just that!

Suppose you are trying to put a small screw in a small threaded hole..but there are other parts as well as your arm and hand in the way. With this system you could see the hole virtually.

The trick would be having the system generate the geometry for the screw...or your fingers.

Ouch (2, Funny)

dmayle (200765) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982639)

I'd hate to be the guy who's plugged in when there's a power surge...

I MUST HAVE ONE! NOW! (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982643)

But, more prosaically, I wonder what the effective pixel resolution of the display is? colour depth, too.

--
Callas

Re:I MUST HAVE ONE! NOW! (1, Funny)

Short Circuit (52384) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982773)

Well, if you buy the software upgrade, you can get vector graphics instead of raster. And support for three colors!

(j/k ... I don't really know.)

Display resolution, colour depth (5, Informative)

destiny_uk (732199) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983069)

From their product info pages:
"Equivalent to 17-inch SVGA display at arm's length Nomad provides the same full-screen resolution as an SVGA desktop monitor. Most handheld devices display only quarterscreen resolution. Scrolling is virtually unnecessary."
So presumably around 1024x768 pixels...

And the colour depth:

"Monochrome red display Nomad's bright-red display provides high contrast between the display information and virtually any background view. 32 grey levels Nomad can display text, graphics, halftones or video in any combination with excellent readability."

The thing the surprised me was the price, only $3995, which seems pretty cheap, to be turned into a terminator....

I'm reminded of the bit where Arnie scans the dresscode in the bar, and the HUD flashes up 'Inappropriate' at one point...

Uh oh! (1)

DigiShaman (671371) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982657)

Don't reprogram one of these things. Or else...you might get a type of LASIK treatment you didn't ask for.

"AHhhhhh...my eyes!!!!"

It says... (5, Funny)

YanceyAI (192279) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982659)

It's a system that can change the way we see the world.

Sounds kinda like beer googles, only pricier.

And That's Why Google... (3, Funny)

Myriad (89793) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982891)

Sounds kinda like beer googles, only pricier.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Google's IPO will be a winner.

Blockwars [blockwars.com] : free, multiplayer, head to head game

Re:It says... (1)

pinball10 (751862) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982954)

Beer googles!

Now search results are ranked according to sobriety?!

Holodecks here i come !!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982663)

Hallelujah !!!

Holodecks are a reality at last !!

Now all i need is a few holograms like Seven of Nine..., Marilyn Monroe...

Re:Holodecks here i come !!! (0)

Paulrothrock (685079) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982886)

RTFa... er, sorry. Forgot this was Slashdot.

"You've got mail!" (4, Funny)

nmg196 (184961) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982669)

Cool - now I can have a "You've got mail" banner scroll across my field of view and cool rotatey vector envelope icon will appear at bottom right of everything I look at...

Re:"You've got mail!" (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982738)

Don't forget the ms paperclip! "It looks like you are about to..."

Re:"You've got mail!" (1)

RealityMogul (663835) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982862)

Lemme finish that thought for you.

...crash your car!!!!

Re:"You've got mail!" (5, Funny)

Lumpy (12016) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982796)

Nahh more fun is to run 30 copies of Xeyes and start running around screaming "STOP STARING AT ME!"

Re:"You've got mail!" (1, Funny)

mausmalone (594185) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982809)

You wish! By the time this gets relased, advertising and AOL in general will be much much more annoying than that!

Re:"You've got mail!" (1)

Ieshan (409693) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982900)

They'll have invented cheaper, more disposable media for AOL to bombard you with!

How does that work, anyway? When the CD is gone, does the big counter in the AOL War-Room reset to 0?

Re:"You've got mail!" (2, Informative)

Analogy Man (601298) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982836)

I was really excited about this technology until they started onto application to cell phones. The track record of that industry to make something useful (a mobile phone with a list of names and numbers) into a convoluted hodge-podge of features hiding the useful features 4 layers down in the menus makes me shudder considering how they would implement this.

Military Application (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982672)

The article mentions the military operations in Iraq. I think that a neat military use would be to couple this with a heat sensing utility so that while on the field they could see their opponents better.

It'd be like playing COD or 1942. w00t!

- AC Since this is frontpage I'm not going to roll the Karma dice... Sorry Mods!

No thanks (5, Funny)

BiggerIsBetter (682164) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982682)

I have a hard enough time descerning reality as it is.

Does this work for everyone? (2, Insightful)

AtariAmarok (451306) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982683)

Does this work for everyone who has vision? Or will it only work for some, like traditional 3D, or those few who could actually play the Nintendo Virtual Boy [nau.edu] without getting a headache?

Re:Does this work for everyone? (1)

MoronGames (632186) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982949)

I think the problem with the virtual boy was that it had two seperate screens, and your eyes had to make it in to one image. I'm assuming this laser thing would have to do it the same way. Project two different images to your eyes and allow your eyes to combine them. Better buy an extra bottle of tylenol!

I'm sure (1, Funny)

53cur!ty (588713) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982684)

I'm sure the Pron industry is working on a protype for a shop near you!

Or perhaps special glasses that make your girlfriend/wife look like you really wish she did!

Wait honey don't come out yet I can't find my laser glasses!!!

Re:I'm sure (1)

browman (191604) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982895)

You can already get them. They're called beer glasses.

The first pattern you'll see (3, Funny)

unfortunateson (527551) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982691)

Do not look into laser with remaining eye!

Oh Great (3, Funny)

binaryDigit (557647) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982694)

You too could soon have T101 vision."

Not like I spend enough time staring at code, just what I need is to have a constant stream of 6502 assembler every waking moment.

Re:Oh Great (2, Funny)

AllUsernamesAreGone (688381) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982721)

You mean this isn't normal?

Uh oh...

Side Effects (1, Funny)

e_pluribus_funk (648835) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982700)

May include image burn in, burning retinas, melted lenses, and bloody eye sockets.

Re:Side Effects (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982995)

It must use a screensaver to prevent such nastiness.
Flying Windows logo anyone?

Dupe? (2, Interesting)

jridley (9305) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982703)

I think this system, or one just like it, was on /. a year or two ago. I remember the obligatory messages from people who thought that laser light in the eye automatically meant you'd go blind.

Too late (1)

AtariAmarok (451306) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982720)

Too late. You posted your message after several blindless-related postings had been made.

Re:Dupe? (5, Funny)

B747SP (179471) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982801)

laser light in the eye automatically meant you'd go blind

Yeah... laser light in the eye, chronic masturbation... it's easy to get those two mixed up.

Re:Dupe? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8983162)

This chronic masturbation rumor has some grain of truth in it as it can indeed cause a lack of vitamine A which causes bad eyesight.

Re:Dupe? (1)

mausmalone (594185) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982837)

Sure... single wavelength doesn't mean you'll go blind. But trying to read red ghost-like text constantly for the rest of your life might help. It's like a virtual boy on stereroids! (Assuming the deep red picture with the article is actually how it would look, not just BBC guessing.)

Let it Snow... (1, Funny)

phaedrus3 (754640) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982707)

Ok, so I live in a TMAWS, our country is dominated by FOQNE's, I already have an avatar in the Metaverse, this is just one more step closer to Neal's vision. Now where's my Pizza? It's been 29.43124 minutes!

This isn't new... (3, Informative)

boomer_rehfield (579777) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982708)

There was a company from Seattle IIRC that was working with this around 5 to 7 years ago. It's an extremely cool technology though and I was bummed that I never heard anything else beyond that. Glad to hear it's still around.

Re:This isn't new... (1)

leonardluen (211265) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983071)

you mean microvision [microvision.com] ? the company mentioned in the article???

from microvision's website somewhere
"Headquarters for both Microvision and Lumera are in Bothell, Washington, a Seattle suburb."

Notebooks (5, Interesting)

Ledora (611009) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982717)

Would be cool for notebooks.... have no need for a screen. Would make them even smaller and probaly consume less power too.

Isn't this old news? (1)

Kainaw (676073) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982722)

When I was in the Marines way back in 1989, I read about tests with little retina-mapped lasers for grunts. It never caught on, but the technology was there and it was being tested. What is new here? Are they casing the old technology in cool pastel colors now?

Re:Isn't this old news? (5, Insightful)

Lord Bitman (95493) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982772)

Miliary -> Industry -> Consumer
You are here --^
^-- We are awaiting this one

Re:Isn't this old news? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982852)

This is the same end result achieved through different means.

Such a system could only be useful if it were to be fed live data updates (like bionic-eye style video games) and didn't leave "GAMEOVER" embedded in your retina if you get shot during combat ops.

The laser treatment they are using here is not of the "harmful type," or so they say, but lasers, mirrors, prisms, and the like are notoriously bad company for human organs at this juncture.

uh oh (1, Funny)

SkunkPussy (85271) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982731)

Assimilation Complete.

The Game (5, Funny)

Chess_the_cat (653159) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982735)

"Come on Wesley, play the game!"

your sig (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982810)

Support the First Amendment: Read at -1.Support the First Amendment: Read at -1.

Eh, no. RTFA (Amendment).

Brave New World (0, Offtopic)

buzzdecafe (583889) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982736)

Sounds like an excellent advertising opportunity.

Obligatory Dr Evil reference -SHARKS (-1)

AtariAmarok (451306) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982741)

"friggin' sharks with friggin' laser-beams attached to their heads projecting re-runs of `Jaws 2` onto the backs of our retinas."

And then... Retinal Tattoos! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982746)

Have Pamela Anderson sculpted onto your retina. The ultimate bio-wallpaper.

Ahhh... (2, Funny)

Cyno01 (573917) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982747)

My eyes, the goggles, they do nothing! Nothing!!!

Promising New Tech... (4, Funny)

nicholas_nym (769092) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982748)

...but it'll be way better when I can get laser beams to come out of my eyes.

maybe (1)

BiggerIsBetter (682164) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982834)

Mirrored contacts?

Already out there.... (2, Informative)

fideaux (158169) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982753)

Hey, this has already been doing this for years. [microvision.com]

Pretty cool, but I wish they would do tricolor lasers and then blast full color into they eye. Power might be an issue... ah, retina over easy?

Re:Already out there.... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982903)

And if you were wearing one, it would automatically amplify the beam and burn a permanent RTFA right now.

Scouter? (2, Funny)

404notfound (467950) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982766)

Am I the only one who thinks the image of the device looks suspiciously like the Dragon Ball Z scouter device used by the Saiyans?

What!? (1)

shrykk (747039) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982768)

"The BBC are reporting on a system that can superimpose images over your vision using small lasers beaming the images directly onto the retina. This is already being used in the car manufacturing industry."

Eeeewww! Does anyone else squirm at the thought of lasers beaming directly into the retina?

Re:What!? (1)

Rico_za (702279) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982921)

Eeeewww! Does anyone else squirm at the thought of lasers beaming directly into the retina?

It makes me squirm about as much as the thought of CNN beaming directly onto my retina. Laser, just like other light sources, can only damage your eyes if enough energy is transfered. Your retinas are made to have light beamed onto them directly, just not light above a cetain intensity.

Steve Mann has been doing this for a while (5, Interesting)

Willard B. Trophy (620813) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982771)

This looks exactly like Steve Mann's [wearcam.org] EyeTap [eyetap.org] device. Which, incidentally, runs Linux.

Great (1)

Magickcat (768797) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982778)

Finally the whole world can be a hypertext document.

Didn't Wesley Crusher play with this? (0, Redundant)

Wubby (56755) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982780)

Didn't he have a game with something like this on ST:TNG. IIRC the whole crew got addicted to some game played like this and Data had to save the ship. That silly Wesley, almost killed everyone again... or was that episode the first time.

(Sorry Wil, had to use the reference, was just too apropos.(Man, I'm a nerd!))

Re:Didn't Wesley Crusher play with this? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982878)

Actually it was Riker who got everyone addicted and Wesley saved the ship.

Re:Didn't Wesley Crusher play with this? (1)

Short Circuit (52384) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982884)

Wesley was the guy who fought its adoption. The device itself was given to Riker by a girl in Risa, with the intention of taking over the Enterprise.

Overlay games (1)

bigattichouse (527527) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982806)

Harken back to the GPS-sensitive gaming, and you might even be able to do overlays... so that someones character in the game world is overlayed (roughly) on top of them ... and you can "battle" in the 3d world. Would be cool for virtual offices as well.. teleworker shows at the meeting if you have the sunglasses.

Car Accident (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982807)

Honest, officer. I was driving along and something got in my eye and that's all I remember.

Wait until you get spammed (directly in your eyes) when you're trying to enjoy a ball game (in person).

One eye only? (2, Insightful)

Colonel Angus (752172) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982833)

If an image is only being displayed on one eye would there not be some distortion whenever the other eye is open? I put my finger in front of my right eye. Close my right eye and my left eye cannot see it. Close my left eye and my right eye sees it fine. Open both eyes and it's a distorted "see-through" image of my finger. Would a similar effect not happen here or is there some compensation built into the device? I saw no mention of it in the article but perhaps someone has more information.

Re:One eye only? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982960)

Have you ever used a microscope? You only you one eye in many of those also.

The reason you see a distorted finger is because your left eye is trying to focus on the finger as well.

Ah ha! (1)

chendo (678767) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982843)

If there was some way to hijack the optical nerve, grab images from it, process it and get various information, and then overlay it onto our eyes, that'll be awesome!

Combined with the 'take a picture and find where you are' thingy on slashdot (which I can't seem to find), we can immediately find out where we are, and with all the landmarks overlayed over!

Which is undoubtedly cool. And undoubtedly we'll have to wait a couple of years for that to happen.

changing definitions of what is seeing (1)

little_prince (729131) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982848)

earlier it used to be - U C what U want 2 C now it will be - U C what U R shown ;)

Re:changing definitions of what is seeing (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8983086)

What? You'll have to try again. Excuse me, but DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

Apaches Already Have This (2, Informative)

darkmeridian (119044) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982850)

This technology is pretty well-established in the military. Information is painted directly onto the retina for pilots of the Apache helicopter. This data doesn't get faded out and you don't have to look down. Pilots can keep focused on their targets, etc. It's perfectly safe.

Re:Apaches Already Have This (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982936)

so was the secret testing they did on people back in the day. It wasn' until birth defects, cancer, and other health issues arose 30, 40, and 50 years later that it was realized what they did to these "volunteers".

Maverick. I've gotta bail out, everything is BLUE! (3, Funny)

cardoso (90714) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982858)

Wouldn't be lovelly to face a BSOD while driving at 120Km/h, in a rainy night?

This is a Big Thing (4, Insightful)

pkaral (104322) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982897)

I think it is hard to overestimate the long term impact of this technology, if it lives up to its promises. This could be the final piece in the puzzle needed to make wearable computing [mit.edu] a mainstream reality (rather than a thing for visionary geeks). My guess is that within 10 years of the first real massmarket product, we will all be wearing those when working, driving, shopping, etc.

The Game (1)

WhatsAProGingrass (726851) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982901)

Soon they will have games out for you eye to play. Like in the Next Generation star trek. We will all be part of it.

Could be good for gaming (2, Insightful)

loic_2003 (707722) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982904)

for FPS games.... If this thing could be tweaked to provide an image for your entire field of vision it would be far superior than those nasty goggles that were used in 'Virtual Reality' systems a few years back. They were simply screens right infront of your eyes. Desert combat and the like would rock if you could use your peripheral vision.
It wouldn't be much harder to sense if the eyes have moved and could allow the user to see larger images if they could look to the left and right and have the image scroll along...

Would be interesting to find if it gives headaches to the users like CRT monitors do these days..

I can see the future... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8982905)

We can help you choose your perfect holiday, John Anderton.

Advertising Nightmare (1)

Xzarakizraiia (751181) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982914)

Admittedly, it'd be really awesome to have a heads-up display, if this ever becomes available to the public...

But how long before there would be banners and pop-ups? Of course, there'd be restrictions to keep people from getting hit with porn ads whilst driving or anything like that, but imagine if it became used for things like VR Gaming or websurfing.

Think of how much companies would be willing to pay to have their products beamed directly onto your retina... I might be overly pessimistic, but that'd be a pretty uncool situation.

Some uses for this... (5, Insightful)

heironymouscoward (683461) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982925)

Putting all the "cook your eyes with high-powered laser" jokes aside, this has several useful applications.

I'd like a subtitle application. A smart application analyses voices and sends subtitles only I can see.

"He's lying".

"She's eager but expecting disappointment"

"They want to buy, at any price".

"He's still lying".

Subtitling conversations is a great thing. But we can go further. GPS is an obvious plug-in. "Go left, now!" "Almost there" "Cops ahead, slow down and hide the bottles".

Next, how about linking this to streaming news sources. I'd never miss another Fark story. Granted, ticker-tape messages scrolling under your line of sight might get boring. But that's what bash.org is for.

I also want the reality-skinning software. This has been briefly touched on in a previous comment. We can go further. Everyone we meet can get their own photoshopped skin. The boss? He gets a moustache and bright red hair. That girl in finance who refuses all your expenses? A sign on her back saying 'Kick Me'.

Finally, I'd like a system of virtual real-world messaging. This works as follows: comments are linked to real spatial cordinates. As you look at the appropriate building or space, you get to read the comments. To keep comments semi-private, you'd have join a server and channel, like irc.

So I think laser-augmented vision has the potential to radically change society.

Of course we have to get around the fried-eye issues first.

Re:Some uses for this... (1)

The_Mr_Flibble (738358) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982976)

I could really do with one of these systems. They say honda already uses them, now if I could only get the same system honda uses I could have an overlay of how my car is running before I blow up another engine.

Re:Some uses for this... (1)

argent (18001) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983131)

Hook it into babelfish. HECTAR HECTAR HECTAR HECTAR.

Sinec it's scanning your eye, it can tell where you're looking. You can probably learn to use saccades for feedback pretty quickly.

"I was like having dinner with this guy, and he didn't seem to be paying attention, so I look at his eyes and they're twitching like he was on crack. The bastard was reading slashdot on my date!"

Pop-up ads - OUCH! (1)

AtariAmarok (451306) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982974)

This will eventually be used for web surfing, and after that, it is only a matter of time before web advertisers abuse a feature of "eyeJavaScript" which greatly increases the power of the laser, so you end up looking at that blasted X10 peeping-tom camera advertisement for 18 weeks, every waking hour.

Now all we need... (1)

aluminumcube (542280) | more than 10 years ago | (#8982993)

is a fiber obtic network capable of delivering the same bandwidth as a 747 chock full of data DVDs crashing into our homes every few seconds and we can all be Hero.

Re:Now all we need... (1)

argent (18001) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983083)

Hiro Protagonist's name is spelled with an "I". :)

Ad-vision (1)

Foobar_Zen (774905) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983037)

I bet the advertisement industry would spring for free glasses as long as you don't mind recieving there ads.

I can see it now, I am in an important meeting and BAM viagra spam pops up over Bob the Boss's face.

Laser VR Interface in Snow Crash (1)

weslocke (240386) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983075)

That was always one of the things I thought was the coolest about Neal Stephenson's [nealstephenson.com] book Snow Crash [slashdot.org] .

And in case you're one of the 10 people on this board who hasn't read it, it's a CyberPunk style novel where the interface to a computer/VR is handled by means of goggles that use low intensity lasers played across the retinas to give the ultimate wide-screen experience.

some blind people can benefit (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#8983103)

I was at a talk at the University of Washington (c. 1999) and they said this tech could be used to give sight to blind people who have intact optical nerves (some blind people are blind because of junk in front of the nerve, or have partially non functional nerves). They had tried it on some people w/ good preliminary results.

Am I the only one (1)

slycer9 (264565) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983153)

Thinking of piping the video from that Sony Handicam from a few years back to this?

Remember? The one that if you switched on the 'Night Vision' feature you could see through clothing?

Erm...Maybe not such a good thought so soon after the 'Tron Costume' story here......

From the script (1)

Zog The Undeniable (632031) | more than 10 years ago | (#8983167)

Landlord:
Hey buddy.. got a dead cat in there or what?

The Slashdot poster considers possible responses:

>YES/NO
>FP!
>IN SOVIET RUSSIA...
>IMAGINE A BEOWULF CLUSTER OF THOSE!
>FSCK YOU
>FSCK YOU, WINDOZE LUSER

SP:
Fsck you, Windoze luser.

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