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2004 Venus Transit In Pictures

timothy posted more than 10 years ago | from the just-like-lady-godiva dept.

Space 214

oneiros27 writes "For those astronomy fans out there -- pictures are starting to come in from the 2004 Venus Transit (where Venus passes in front of the sun). Times of the transit will vary by city, but make sure you use safe techniques for viewing the sun if you want to look for yourself." Anonymous Coward writes "Check out the transit of Venus webcast from Australia. It starts at 4.50 UTC on June 8." Update: 06/07 04:03 GMT by T : Linked webcast link updated to a URL projected to better handle the load, thanks to reader Tom Minchin.

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214 comments

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Unfortunately... (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353716)

Golden State (California) wouldn't be able to see it.

Re:Unfortunately... (-1, Flamebait)

OneDeeTenTee (780300) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353815)

They'll probably blame Bush for that.

Re:Unfortunately... (5, Informative)

NIK282000 (737852) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353892)

transists come in pairs with venus, there shoud be another one in a few years then it will be a long time till the next pair.

Re:Unfortunately... (1)

Talking Toaster (695539) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353899)

How Long does it take to drive to Alaska?
They can see it at Sunrise, no wait, that's sunset.

I guess it would make more sense to drive east and see it at sunrise. More time to get there. How far would I have to drive? from this map [nasa.gov] it looks like I'd have to be east of Colorado. I wish gas wasn't so expensive these days.

Never thought there would be a reason at this point in history to be envious of people in Iraq. They'll get to see the whole thing.

At least we have 8 years to prepair for the next viewing. This sounds pretty kewl.

The Taking of Hermione Granger (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353949)

Granger lay on the small bed in the hospital wing at an awkward
position, the knee of one leg slightly bent, one foot in front of the
other. Her arms were in strange positions as well, one hand hovered
just above the bed clutched into a little fist and the other hand was
held out from her body as if she was getting ready to pour something
from an invisible bottle onto herself.
The truth was that she was in this strange position because she was
not able to change it herself. Hermione had just figured out the type
of creature that was prowling the grounds of the castle when she was
petrified by the reflection of the basilisk in the mirror she had been
carrying and using to look around corners. The reflection had not
killed her of course but it had been enough to completely shut down
her voluntary muscle system though she could hear everything that was
being said around her, and she could see as well, at least sort of.
You see, because the muscles in her body were frozen, her vision was
slow to adjust, and focus, and she could not change her view because
she could not blink nor look around the room. All she could do was
stare straight ahead. Evidently no one had thought of this after they
brought her up here after the attacks, because no one had bothered to
close her eyes or to cover them.
So there she lay for days her muscles cramping and aching with nothing
she could do about it.

Professor Severus Snape had been furious when Dumbledore had refused
to listen to him, once again giving Potter free run of the school
grounds and the choice to do whatever he wanted to do. The rules be
damned. He'd had enough and was ready to burst, he just wanted to
find a way to rid himself of Dumbledore and become headmaster himself.
He sat in his office drinking and thinking about how to solve his
problems when he began to perceive the answer.

Going to the hospital wing, Snape spoke in hushed tones to Madam
Pomfrey about the condition of the petrified victims and voiced his
concerns about the condition they were in, she agreed readily but did
not know what they could do about it. Thinking quickly, Snape said to
Madam Pomfrey, "Listen, you go down to dinner and relax for a bit and
I will stay here and make some examinations of the patients and see if
anything can be done." Smiling coolly but not uncharacteristically
when she said "Well, ok, let me know what you find out though"
After she had gone he drew the curtains by the beds and went about the
task of examining the victims making notes and scratching down some
ideas to try. After she returned, he worked for a few hours in his
labs until he had come up with some very potent muscle relaxers.
Going back to the hospital wing, he found Madam Pomfrey beginning to
nod off in her chair at her desk while reading a voluminous tome on
medusa and other petrifying creatures. Rousing her from her lethargy
he said "Madam Pomfrey, I have devised a potion here that I think will
do the trick, but it may take a day or so to react, maybe not at all
for some of them that have been stiff for a while.", as she sleepily
grinned at him. "Goodness!" she exclaimed as she rose, "How is it
administered?". Looking at her calmly, he said "Eye dropper under the
tongue should be adequate to do the job"
It took them only a few moments to administer the potion and then he
instructed her to go and rest and he would tend to the patients until
morning, that way he could look for side effects. Gratefully, Madam
Pomfrey thanked him, yawned and wandered off to bed. As soon as she
had left he raised his wand and magically locked the door so that he
would not be interrupted.

He had not planned what happened next, but neither was he in a
position to refuse it. He had not mentioned to Madam Pomfrey that the
potion could be used as a topical ointment as well, but it was quite
potent this way. Applying some of the ointment to his fingertips he
began rubbing it into Hermione's neck and shoulders. By applying the
concoction to the joints directly, it was able to penetrate and work
its magic faster. He soon saw the tension in he shoulders begin to
leave her body, and her head and shoulders slumped back onto the
pillows.
Next he worked the stuff into her ankles and her knees. He noticed
that her knees were smooth and soft, and although he did not know what
he expected, this wasn't it. She was thin, and he knew that her
muggle parents were not rich by any means, in fact, he had thought
that she came from what the muggles would have called the wrong side
of the tracks. While he did not think of her as trash particularly,
he did view her as an outsider, having come from muggle parents, he
guessed that he just expected that her knees would be rough and boney
because she was poor and thin.
He saw her knees and ankles starting to relax and was about to move on
to the next step in his plan when he noticed that her legs were still
at awkward angle because she had been bent slightly at the waist when
she saw the reflection of the basilisk. Suddenly he became acutely
aware of what he had to do to remedy the situation, and was just a
little put off about it. In order to get her legs working correctly,
he was going to have to apply the viscous potion to her hips. He
thought about it for a moment and decided that it must be done. He
slowly lifted her skirt a little bit and tried to get it out of the
way but he quickly found that he was going to lift it much higher than
he had wanted to. Although he could not be positive that she was
aware of what was happening, he could not be sure that she was not
aware either. He would certainly not be able to explain away why he
had found no other choice than to molest a young female student.
Quickly making up his mind that he would have to do it then remove her
memory of the event with a charm, he flipped her skirt up and took a
breath as her mound came into sight under her lightly pink cotton
panties. He was no pervert, and had certainly never done anything to
one of the other students before, but when he saw her panty clad mons
between her silky smooth ivory thighs, his cock immediately began to
twitch.
It was hard for him here, stuck in this place for nine months a year
with no one to fuck except the occasional village whore or some
village commoner that he could get drunk enough to look past his foul
temper and ill manner. He was here during the holidays and even part
of the summer break, and all that time he had to look at the nubile
young girls as they blossomed into young women in front of his eyes.
His cock was throbbing now, as hard as it had ever been before. He
shifted uncomfortably as he rubbed the potion into the flesh of her
hips. He slowly massaged the potion around the sides of her hips to
her rub it into her ass cheeks as well. With his cock now throbbing
uncomfortably, and the alcohol burning in his veins, he washed his
hands off and slid left hand down to his crotch to stroke his cock as
his right hand slid up and down her thighs and began to brush
Hermione's pink clad pussy.

Hermione WAS fully aware of what was going on around her and desperate
and angry that she could not tell Harry or Ron what was in the castle
or how to fight it. To top it all off, Professor Snape had been
hanging around the hospital wing, had even talked to her a few times
even though she could not respond in any way. She was slightly afraid
of Snape, mainly because he seemed to hate her for some reason she
could not understand , and sometimes he seemed to be outright
threatening her. She was just beginning to calm down after the potion
that Snape and Madam Pomfrey had given them all when Snape appeared at
her bedside. Her annoyance at not being able to talk and her fear
that she would be stuck this way vanished as Snape sat down on the
edge of her bed and started to rub the oily potion into her neck, now
she was just plain afraid.
She had to admit, that Snape seemed all business as he started to rub
the stuff into her neck muscles, but as he pulled open the collar of
her school uniform and reached in to touch her bare flesh on and
around her shoulders, she became very frightened. A few moments after
he had started massaging the ointment into her muscles she suddenly
felt her head start to lower and sink into the pillow. Then as her
aching arms began to sink to her sides and lay on the bed, she would
have screamed with relief and kissed him if she could have. She had
been frozen like that for days now and her muscles felt like they were
on fire from the strain. She lay there relishing the feeling as her
neck, shoulders, elbows, ankles, and knees slowly un-tensed and
relaxed and let her lay back comfortably. Professor Snape had just
started to get up when he stopped and looked down at her again. She
suddenly realized just what he had, her legs were still in a strange
position and it was coming from her hips. She panicked as he sat back
down and she could see the thoughts fighting out in his head, but all
her fears were realized when she felt his begin to lift up her school
uniform skirt. Hermione could feel it riding up her thighs as he
moved it, and heard his sharp breath after a moment of hesitation as
her skirt flipped up onto her belly, and she knew that now she was
entirely exposed to him.
Hermione had never even played doctor with a boy before, she was
mortified at the thought of Snape seeing her in this position, she
would never be able to look him in the eye again. What could be worse
she thought as he started to massage the potion into her hip joints,
only to realize she was about to find out when his hands followed the
muscles around to the sides of her hips to her ass. At first she
though that he was just embarrassing her so that he could hold it over
her head, but she quickly realized that he was now just feeling her
up, "Oh God" she thought to herself "when will this stop?".
After rubbing Hermione's ass for a few minutes, Snape stopped and
washed his hands. Hermione thought that he might be preparing to
leave her alone when she felt his shifting on the bed again. Her mind
reeled as she felt his cold hand touch her inner thigh and start to
stroke its way up to her crotch. This couldn't be happening to her
she thought, he was a professor! But the cold realization sunk in as
his finger began to roughly rub her slit.

He had not intended that it turn out this way, it just did, it had
been months since Snape had gotten laid, but now he was going to make
up for lost time. He would of course have to use a memory charm
afterward but that was no problem, after all, even if she was
conscious, in her current state she would simply think that she had
slipped in and out of sleep.
Snape sat on the bed rubbing Hermione's pussy through her pale pink
panties while he lightly stroked his cock with his other hand.
Slipping his fingers around the edge of the material he slowly rubbed
her clit with his thumb, sometimes pinching it between his thumb and
forefinger. He had been rubbing her and himself for a few minutes
when he noticed that she was starting to get wet. Deep in the back of
his mind, he knew it was simply her bodies natural response to his
manipulations, but the alcohol and guilt in him was screaming "She
wants it!", so he went on.
Unbuttoning the blouse of her school uniform, he slowly began to
reveal her little lithe body. She wasn't wearing a bra, and she had a
nice start on what would undoubtedly be a very nice set of tits some
day.
Slightly less than a cupped handful, Hermione's breasts were capped
with dime sized light brown nipples with just a slight pink hue to
them, and the tips of her areola were stiff like little pebbles
plucked from the shores of the lake below the school. Snape didn't
know if she was excited or frightened, but he now hoped it was the
latter.
For a long time, Snape had wanted to put the little know it all bitch,
Hermione Granger, in her place. He began by rolling her stiff little
nipples between his finger tips, pinching them increasingly harder.
Cupping her tiny breasts in his palms, he squeezed and kneaded them
for a few minutes before he bent down to lick the tiny pebble like
areola. Hermione's breasts reacted perfectly to his ministrations,
pinking up nicely and growing goose bumpy. Licking slowly around her
areola, he left a fair amount of saliva on her nipples and then blew
on them, watching them further stiffen with a smile.
He had not yet applied the potion to Hermione's hands, so opening the
front of his robes he pulled out his hard cock and worked it into
Hermione's small fist, the one that had been holding the mirror
handle. He had to pry her fingers open a little bit, but by the time
he was done, Hermione's grip on his stiff prong was tight and
un-relaxing. Shifting his body so that he could place her arm on his
knee, he began to tap his heel, causing her am to rise and fall,
making her little fist pump his cock as if she had done it a million
times before. Snape mused for a moment about this thought then
decided to see if Hermione was a little slut or a good girl, after all
she was constantly in the presence of BOTH Potter, and Weasley.
Reaching back, Snape grabbed her ankles and one at a time spread them
to the edges of the bed, thus spreading her thighs apart and giving
him full access to her panty clad mons. Continuing to move his leg so
that Hermione's little fist pumped his cock like the village whore,
Snape reached into his sleeve and drew out a wicked little blade that
he kept strapped there.
Sliding the blade along her hip and onto her little pelvis, he slipped
it under the edge of the panties and roughly cut through the material,
applying the technique again on the other side, he have a rough tug on
the crotch of the moist panties and they easily came away from her
mons leaving her bare before him. Snape looked down at Hermione's
beautiful little cunt and his moth began to water. He was so
enrapture with her tender little pussy that he forgot to keep tapping
his heel to make her continue his handjob.
Hermione's tight little mons was covered in a downy fuzz that you
could see straight through. He had already been rubbing her clit so
he preoccupied himself by running his fingers through her fuzz and
blowing on it. After a few moments of toying with her cunt hair Snape
took the hair between his fingertips and tugged at it, pulling her
small labia apart. After a quick examination of her pretty little
pussy, Snape took out his wand, and pointing it at Hermione's pussy,
uttered "Depilatorarium", and watched as all the hair on her groin
faded and disappeared, he then, with is wand still pointing at her
nether lips uttered "Foliculi Minorium" and watched with pleasure as a
small sparse triangle of hair appeared just above her clit.

Hermione's heart was pounding in her chest, she wasn't sure what
Professor Snape intended to do but she was beginning to fear the
worst. Snape was sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing Her pussy
through her panties, while he did something else she could not see,
but could only hear with his other hand. Hermione's mind was racing,
her heart pounding, and her spirit screaming at her to run, and yet
she could not move a muscle.
She was mortified at what he was doing and yet she felt incredible
shame at the fact that her body was betraying her. As Hermione felt
him slipping his fingers around the edge of her panties, her heart
leapt. He slowly started rubbing her clit with his thumb, rolling it
in small circles, and sometimes mashing it back and forth.
Hermione's shame redoubled, and she thought to herself "I am a dirty
little whore" as she realized that she was getting wet by his hand,
even though she would beg him to stop if she could, her body was
moaning to her "FUCK, this feels good! Please don't let him stop!".
Then, suddenly Hermione's mind reeled when he began pinching her clit
between his thumb and forefinger. Professor Snape had been rubbing
her and himself for a few minutes and now a battle raged in her head,
her intellect begging him to stop and her baser instinct begging him
never to.
Hermione felt Professor Snape begin unbuttoning the blouse of her
school uniform. She was embarrassed now, as he slowly began to reveal
her little chest and her boyish (As she thought of it) body. She
wasn't even wearing a bra, and yet, she couldn't see his face, and
couldn't turn her head but she heard his intake of breath as her
blouse came open to show off what little she had to offer him. What
was she thinking, "what little she had to offer him" was nothing, he
was RAPING her, and even though she wanted him to stop, she liked it.
Even though she had slightly less than a cupped handful to Professor
Snape, Hermione's breasts were very sensitive, as were the small
nipples that capped them, dime sized nipples with just a slight
pinkish hue to them, On several occasions she had manipulated them
until she climaxed, once she had even had an orgasm as they were
sucked on! (but that is another story for another time) and the tips
of her nipples were now getting stiff like erasers.
She was excited and frightened, all at the same time, if she could
have chosen her own lover to take her the first time, it would have
been Ron, or Harry, even Percy if he would have her, but to be raped
by Professor Snape was more than she thought she could take "Oh God,
please make it stop she thought".
Just as these thoughts were running through Hermione's head she saw
Snape's body turn as he began by rolling her stiff little nipples
between his finger tips, pinching them increasingly harder and harder.
She wanted to scream from the pain, and the pleasure that she was
deriving from it, when suddenly he stopped. Her mind and body were
now in a frenzy, as she thought "Oh god, why is he doing this, then,
Oh God why is he stopping?" Gently Snape started cupping her small
young breasts with his palms, he squeezed and kneaded them, pushing
her nearer to an orgasm for a few minutes.
Before she knew what was happening he bent down to lick the tiny
eraser like nipples. Snape was using Hermione's breasts perfectly,
she drew closer to an orgasm as her nipples reacted to his
ministrations, stiffening up nicely and growing goose bumpy. He was
licking slowly around her nipples, leaving a trail of saliva on her
nipples and then he blew on them, watching them further stiffen with
a smile. Hermione's Excitement was at a crescendo when Snape opened
the front of his robes and pulled out his hard cock.
He grabbed her arm and began prying on the fingers of the hand that
had been holding the mirror, and finally after a few moments he had
loosened her grip and worked his hard cock into Hermione's small fist.
Hermione's mind wandered as she felt his large man cock sliding into
her grip. As she held on to his stiff prong she couldn't believe how
hot it was, pulsing in her hand like a snake, she thought "If it was
any hotter it would burn". His cock was not very big around,, but was
quite long she thought, maybe seven inches, and her grip on it was
tight and un-relaxing as he began shifting his body so that he could
place her arm on his knee, he began to move his leg up and down, and
she could hear him tapping his heel on the floor, causing her am to
rise and fall, making her little fist pump his cock like she was
milking a cow.
Snape seemed to be in a daydream for a moment ,then Reaching back,
Snape grabbed her ankles and one at a time spread them to the edges of
the bed. Briefly, Hermione wondered what he was going to do now when,
as he continued to move his leg so that Hermione's little hand pumped
his cock up and down, Snape terrified he when he reached into his
sleeve and drew out a blade of some kind.
Hermione's could feel him sliding the blade along her hip and onto her
pelvis, she thought that he was going to stab her when suddenly it
slipped it under the edge of her panties and quickly cut through the
material, doing the same thing again on the other side, he suddenly
gave a rough tug on the crotch of her moist panties and they easily
pulled away from her, leaving her bare before him. The force of the
tug had shifted Hermione's gaze so that she could now see Snape
looking down at her hot little cunt and his tongue shot out briefly to
lick his lips. Hermione's noticed that Snape was so intent with her
tender little pussy that he forgot to keep tapping his heel to make
her hand continue its handjob.
Hermione's hot little mons was now very wet and she was sure he could
see straight through her. He began running his fingers through her
pussy hair and blowing on it, driving her mad with desire for release.
After a few moments of toying with her cunt hair Snape began to tug
at it. Hermione could feel him pulling her small pussy lips apart and
staring at her. Hermione's mind began to race again, "Is something
wrong with me, Am I not good enough?" she thought, but after a quick
second of staring at her pretty little pussy, Snape took out his wand,
and pointing it between her legs, uttered something she could not make
out, there was a sudden tingling in her groin and then it faded and
disappeared, then, with is wand still pointing at her pussy, uttered
"Foliculi Minorium" and an itching appeared just above her clit and
then it faded and disappeared.

After shaving and trimming Hermione's nether regions, Snape sat back
for a moment to admire his handy work, he stared down at her
clean-shaven, perfectly smooth, tiny bald cunt and marveled. Shaking
from his revelry, Snape decided it was time to see if little Hermione
the know it all, had known a man yet. Sliding the tip of his middle
finger between her delicate folds, he began to slide it in and out
gaining more territory with each thrust until he felt what he was
hoping for, hymen! Hermione's hymen was intact and HE was going to
claim it!
Reaching down with his left hand he began to remove his aching cock
from Hermione's little fist when he saw the large drop of pre-cum that
had formed at the tip. With his other hand now rubbing her G Spot, he
took the pre-cum on his finger and applied it to her lips and then
cleaned his finger off on her tongue.
Extracting his stiff cock from Hermione's small hand, he nestled
between her legs and began to blow on her clit, all the while rubbing
her G Spot with his finger. By now, Hermione's pussy was dripping wet
and hot as a furnace, so Snape could resist no longer. He lowered his
head between her legs and his tongue snaked out to flick across her
swollen clit.
Savoring her sweet young cunt, Snape licked an sucked her pussy,
occasionally pushing his tongue as far into he cunt as he could.
Hermione's pulse and breath raced as Snape brought her closer and
closer to an earth shattering orgasm. Snape reached up with his free
hand and grasped her nipples, pinching them one at a time and twisting
them viciously.
Hermione's pulse was pounding in her ears as Snape released her
nipples and pushed his thumb into her delicate little mons, thrusting
it in and out, he made sure it was well lubricated as he clasped onto
her tiny bud with his lips and started sucking for all he was worth.
Hermione's pussy had never been so full before. She had masturbated
before of course, but her little fingers had never filled he up like
this. With Professor Snape's middle finger scrubbing her G Spot and
his thumb pushed into her tight cunt with it, she would have had to
fist herself to be that full.
As Snape sucked hard on her clit, Hermione's breath was racing faster
and faster, then when he thought that she could take no more, Snape
bit down, carefully, but hard on Hermione's clit. Hermione's head was
thrown back as she took in one great breath and it caught, she lay
there not breathing as she experienced the most intense orgasm she
could imagine. At that moment Snape pushed his slick thumb straight
into Hermione's tiny little ass and started pumping it in and out.
Having something shoved into her ass had the effect of getting
Hermione's breath rasping in her chest again, as well as pushing her
straight over the top. She lay there sucking in great gulps of
breath, a heavy sheen of sweat covering her body, rivulets of sweat
standing out on her small breasts and a pool of sweat collecting in
the crevasse of her sternum. Her abs were solid as a rock from the
tension of the building orgasm, and with his thumb pumping out of her
ass and Hermione's clit caught in his teeth, Snape began to scrub his
tongue back and forth across her clit causing her orgasm to stretch
out and continue to build until she passed out.

Hermione lay there wondering what was going through Snape's mind as he
sat back for a moment and he stared down at her pussy. Shaken from
his revelry, Snape shifted slightly and began sliding the tip of his
finger between her delicate folds, he was sliding it in and out,
pushing more of it into her with each thrust until she felt what he
was probing for, her hymen! Hermione wished that she could will her
body to get up and run, as she realized that her greatest fear was
true, he was about to take her virginity.
Reaching down with his free hand he removed his hot pulsing cock from
Hermione's little fist and looked down at it. When she saw him
bringing his finger up towards her face, and it was wet with what
could only be pre-cum. With the copious amount of pre-cum on his
finger, he rubbed it onto her lips and then pushed his finger between
her lips and rubbed it on her tongue. She could smell the pre-cum on
his finger as it passed under her nose, a heady smell, musky and
aromatic. Then the rich salty taste of it hit her and she could not
do any thing but savor it, neither swallow or spit.
She felt him extracting his stiff cock from her small hand, and then,
just as she expected he lay down between her legs, but with his mouth
on her mons instead how brutally thrusting his cock into her as he was
surely want to do! Instead, he nestled between her thighs and began
to blow on her delicate little pussy, all the while rubbing her G Spot
with his finger. Hermione's pussy was dripping wet and she was
beginning to pant. Professor Snape lowered his head between her
thighs and with his tongue he began to flick back and forth across her
sensitive little clit.
Savoring the feeling as Snape licked an sucked her pussy, Hermione's
body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, giving her a chill and
increasing the stiffness of her nipples. Occasionally Snape
punctuated the job he was doing by pushing his tongue as far into her
little cunt as he could, when he did Hermione's pulse and breath would
race as she crept closer and closer to what she suspected would be an
earth shattering orgasm.
Just as she thought she would cum, Snape reached up with his free hand
and grasped her nipple, pinching one then the other and twisting them
viciously. This had the effect of backing her away from the impending
orgasm, but at the same time she realized that something deep inside
her liked it that way, rough and with a little pain to keep her on the
edge.
Hermione's pulse was pounding in her ears as Snape released her
nipples. Hermione was thinking that maybe now he would let her cum,
when suddenly Snape pushed his thumb into her pussy, and started
pumping it in and out. She was getting wetter and wetter as her
orgasm was building like a train rushing at her, when suddenly he
clasped onto her tiny pleasure bud with his lips and started sucking
on it as hard as he could. Hermione's pussy had was so full she
thought she would burst. Sometimes when she had masturbated in the
Gryffindor Tower showers she would get into it quite a bit and by the
time she was done, she would have three of her little fingers buried
in her pussy frigging herself for all she was worth, but her little
fingers had never filled he up like this. With Professor Snape's
middle finger scrubbing her G Spot and his thumb pushed into her tight
cunt along side it, she would have had to put her whole fist inside
herself to be that full.
Snape now sucked hard on her clit, and Hermione's breath was racing
faster and faster. She was torn, on one hand she was being raped, and
on the other hand it felt so fucking good that she would beg for it
not to end. Just when she thought that she could take no more, Snape
bit down hard on her clit. Hermione's head was thrown back as she
took in one great breath, and started to cum her breathing stopped,
caught in her chest as she was enraptured by her immense orgasm
wracking her body. She lay there not breathing as she experienced the
most intense orgasm she had ever had, and just at that moment Snape
pushed his thumb, still slick with her own juices straight into her
tiny little ass and started pumping it in and out.
The pain was incredible for a second, she thought that she would die
as his thumb assaulted her, but having something shoved into her ass
had the effect of getting her breathing again, as he breath started
rasping in her chest again, as well as pushing her straight over the
top. She lay there sucking in great gulps of breath, as her orgasm
redoubled again, her sweat ran into her eyes, and her stomach muscles
felt as solid as a washboard from the tension of the orgasm she was
experiencing, the thumb in her ass had hurt briefly, but then she
began to wonder how she had ever managed to cum before without
something in her ass. and then with his thumb pumping out of her ass
and her clit caught in his teeth, Snape began to scrub his tongue back
and forth across her clit causing her orgasm to stretch out and
continue to build for nearly a full minute until suddenly she passed
out.

Re:Unfortunately... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354029)

I have always felt that Linux [redhat.com] is a nice operating system (for hobbyists and geeks), but there are some areas where it is seriously lacking, especially when compared to its main competitor, Microsoft Windows [microsoft.com] .

* File sharing. Windows has long been superior when it comes to making large
amounts of files available to third parties. Even early versions of Windows
automatically detected and made available all directories thanks to the built in
NetBIOS-powered file sharing support. But Microsoft has realized that this
technology is inherently limited and has added even better file sharing support
to its Windows XP operating system [toastytech.com] . Universal Plug and Play will [esecurityplanet.com]
make it possible to literally access any file, from any device! I think
universal file sharing support needs to be built into the Linux kernel soon.

* Intelligent agents. With innovations like Clippy [slashdot.org] , the talking paperclip and Microsoft Bob [windowsbeta.net] , Microsoft has always tried to make life easier
for its customers. With Outlook and Outlook Express [ximian.com] , Microsoft has built a framework for developers to create even smarter agents. Especially popular agents include "Sircam", which automatically asks the users' friends for advice
on files he is working on and the "Hybris" agent, which is a self-replicating
copy of a humorous take on "Snow-White and the Seven Dwarves" (the real story!). [compedit.com]
Microsoft is working on expanding this P2P technology to its web servers [netscape.com] . This
project is still in the beta stage, thus the name "Code Red". The next versions
will be called "Code Yellow" and "Code Green".

* Version numbers. Linux has real naming problems. What's the difference
between a 2.4.19 and a 2.2.17 kernel anyway? And what's with those odd and even
numbers? Microsoft has always had clear and sophisticated naming/versioning
policies. For example, Windows 95 [kde.org] was named Windows 95 because it was released
in 1995. Windows 98 [kde.org] was released three years later, and so on. Windows XP [apple.com]
brought a whole new "experience" to the user, therefore the name. I suggest that
the next Linux kernel releases be called Linux 03, Linux 04, Linux 04.5 (OSR1),
Linux 04.7B (OSR2 SP4 OEM), Linux 2005 and Linux VD (Valentine's Day edition).
Furthermore, remember how Microsoft named every upcoming version of Windows
after some Egyptian city? Cairo, Chicago and so on. I think that the development
kernels should be named after Spanish cities to celebrate Linux' Spanish
origins. Linux Milano [alyssa.com] or Linux Rome [nero.com] anyone?

* Multi-User Support. This has always been one of Microsoft's strong sides,
especially in the Windows 95/98 [kde.org] variants, where passwords were completely
unnecessary. Microsoft has made the right decision by not bothering the user
with a distinction between "normal" and "root" users too much -- practice has
shown that average users can be trusted to act responsibly and in full awareness
of the potential consequences of their actions. After all, if your operating
system doesn't trust you, why should you trust it? (To be fair, Linux is making
some progress here with the Lindows distribution, where users are always running as root.)

With Windows XP, Microsoft has again improved multi-user support. Not only
does Windows XP come with a large library of user pictures that are displayed on
the login screen, such as a guitar and a flower, it also has "quick user
change". This makes it possible to login as a different user with a simple
keyboard shortcut, and the good news is: programs from the old user keep running
in the background! Beat that, Linux!

* Programmability. Microsoft has always been known for making computer
machine power accessible to end users. The operating system comes with many
helpful tools such as VBScript, a programming language especially useful for
developing intelligent agents as mentioned above, and QBASIC, a truly innovative
"hacker" tool that makes it possible to develop even sophisticated applications
without much foreknowledge. Scripts can even be embedded into documents such as
Word files. This together with the mind-blowing Windows XP shell, which now also
has amazing features like "autocompletion" (you no longer have to type all those
long paths) and a scrollback buffer, makes Windows XP the "hacker's choice".
Linux should stop "dumbing down" users with pretty pictures such as in KDE or
GNOME. Also, I think that a BASIC interpreter should be an unremovable component
of the Linux kernel.

I also find it disappointing that Linux has not embraced new technologies such
as Digital Rights Management [deadly.org]
which will finally make it profitable for artists to sell their intellectual property
on the web. The content industry has calculated that it loses about 450 trillion
dollars per day to piracy. If this continues, the economic effects will be
devastating. Richard Stallman has supported DRM for years and made it a fixed part of
his GNU/Hurd operating system -- Linux should not hold back progress in this important
area. DRM should be made part of the Linux Standard Base (LSB), and Linux distributors
should put "DMCA-Compliant" buttons on their websites. We all know that Linux would never
have been created without strong intellectual property protection as enforced by
the FSF, so let's not be hypocritical.

On the plus side, I have found Linux an absolutely superior operating system for
viewing pornography. Porn [manhole.com] is loading much faster than on Windows, especially with the Cox and Love kernel patches and powerful porn browsers such as Pornzilla. This is truly an operating system written by geeks, for geeks!

Let the Bananarama jokes (2, Funny)

foidulus (743482) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353717)

commence!

Re:Let the Bananarama jokes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353753)

Perhaps you could enlighten me, because I have no clue what you're talking about.

Re:Let the Bananarama jokes (1)

foidulus (743482) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353774)

Learn your 80's pop culture my son...then you will see the light.

Re:Let the Bananarama jokes (4, Informative)

martinX (672498) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354048)

A band called Bananarama did a cover of a song called "Venus" in the eighties (1986). It was originally done by Shocking Blue* [geocities.com] in 1970.

Lyrics here [afn.org] .

It is a bit of a stretch to go from from a story on a planetary event to a forgettable eighties band, but this is /.

* That site also tells us that "Venus is the only song in the history of the Billboard charts to hit number one three times (first time on February 7, 1970, second time on June 20, 1981 by "Stars On 45"; third time on September 6, 1986 by Bananarama)." So there. Wow. And now I can't get the damn song out of my head... she's got it, yeah baby she's got it ...

Re:Let the Bananarama jokes (1)

hubie (108345) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354121)

That site also tells us that "Venus is the only song in the history of the Billboard charts to hit number one three times
Didn't Dolly Parton's I will always love you do that as well? I'm thinking like '74, '82, '92, and '95? I'm not sure if it hit #1 all those times, but I thought it got there at least three times.

Re:Let the Bananarama jokes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354227)

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Now guess what's stuck in my head. AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Well here's one for you: The Locomotion.

Re: Bananarama jokes? OK you asked for it ... (2, Funny)

Ralconte (599174) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354202)

Hey, I heard the Monkeys got arrested ... it appears they got drunk and tried to peel Bananarama. *shudder* '80's humor, I'm embarassed that I actually wrote this down. Mod me way down, if you value our civilization.

Re: Bananarama jokes? OK you asked for it ... (1)

blair1q (305137) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354250)

I was gonna mod you down, but I prefer to mock you instead.

The Monkees were the '60s, not the '80s, you total noob.

OH DEAR GOD (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353718)

I'M BLIND!!!!

I tried to look at Venus, and I burned out my eyes! Damn you Slashdot, damn you Sun! (The Sun, not Sun the Java people!)

Re:OH DEAR GOD (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353732)

Liar!!! If you're blind, how could you give your comment at Slashdot? :D

Re:OH DEAR GOD (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353740)

Speech to Text software.

Re:OH DEAR GOD (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353745)

And he just recently got blind, did he anticipate this earlier? :D

Re:OH DEAR GOD (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353756)

Yes, I already used speech to text software because a bear ate my hands.

Re:OH DEAR GOD (5, Funny)

pilot1 (610480) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353813)

He typed, of course.
Any good geek can launch Firefox, navigate to Slashdot, find a story, and post a comment without looking at the screen.

Re:OH DEAR GOD (4, Funny)

Boglin (517490) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354030)

Any good geek can launch Firefox, navigate to Slashdot, find a story, and post a comment without looking at the screen.
Except, being blind, he wouldn't be able to read the article before posting.... Wait a sec! Just how man blind people do we have here?

Re:OH DEAR GOD (3, Funny)

theyre watching you (736463) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354167)

Just how man blind people do we have here?

well, according to the uid's... about 780,000.

Voice Controlled Software (2, Funny)

aussie_a (778472) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354194)

He would have posted the comment sooner but he had a cold.

Safety, Remember Safety (5, Insightful)

Talking Toaster (695539) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353950)

I'M BLIND!!!!

For one thing, it doesn't start for another day and an hour or so.

(I'll admit that I panicked and rushed outside and took quick looks at the sun, before I came back and read the article and realized we still have about 25 hours until it even starts.

For another thing, slashdot was kind enough to post a link to safety instructions [nasa.gov] in the headline.

So, what are solar filters? How much do they cost and where can I get one if I want to drive across the country in a mad dash to catch it at sunrise in South Dakota or whatever?

I've been wanting to check out that Wall Drugs that so many people have bumper stickers for for awhile anyway. Maybe they sell solar filters? But if I'm going to drive halfway across the country I want more then just a pinhole thingy.

Who's up for a road trip?

But if you forgot safety and go temporarily blind, at least you can turn your Chinatown apartment into one big computer and discover a way to predict the stock market.

Re:OH DEAR GOD (2, Interesting)

AsmCoder8088 (745645) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354067)

You can actually look at the Venus-Sun transit through telescopes using a solar filter. I own an eight inch schmidt-cassegrain, and equipped with an appropriate eight inch filter, I would be able to see the transit much better than just regular gazers of the transit. Hypothetically, if you had a few grand lying around right now, you could buy a nice telescope and have a much better look at the transit.

Sir? (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353720)

May I be the first to ask.. uh... "So what?"...

Not meaning to troll or flamebait. Just.. seriously... so *what*?

Re:Sir? (5, Insightful)

Man in Spandex (775950) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353816)

When an event such at this occurs once in a lifetime, for the scientific enthusiasts or hobbyist, this is more than just a round disc blocking another shiny round disc.

We will learn more about this planet and how the corona varies compared to an eclipse.

Re:Sir? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353847)

Erm. Am I the only one who just sees a big wide picture of the sun? There are little black dots in the bottom of the picture but those seem to just be part of a scale manually added. I see no planet in front of the Sun...

Re:Sir? (1)

sploo22 (748838) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354049)

That's because it hasn't started yet.

Re:Sir? (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353875)


actually dear poster its a twice in a lifetime [pipex.com] experience..

the next transit is due in 2012
(+1 wiseass..)

Re:Sir? (2, Funny)

InfiniteWisdom (530090) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354061)

I'm going to die in 2011, you insensitive clod!

Re:Sir? (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353898)

When you say once in a lifetime, you mean twice in a lifetime? Venus will transit the Sun again in 2012, approx 8 years from now.

obligatory (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353931)

I'm dying of cancer, so for some of us it IS once-in-a-lifetime, YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD

Again (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354149)

May I be the first to ask.. uh... "So what?"...

SOHO (1)

Yaa 101 (664725) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353735)

SOHOT...Venus...Yummy...I am way to long behind this screen...

Obligatory Joke (1)

tcgwebs (737923) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353739)

I, for one, welcome our new Venus overlords. Oh, wait..

Find out more about Venus(and planets in general) (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353743)

here [wikipedia.org]

Re:Find out more about Venus(and planets in genera (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353768)

find out more about Ur-anus here (_!_)

Re:Find out more about Venus(and planets in genera (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353858)

Ironically one of the scientists who claimed to have discovered the clitoris called it sweetness of venus.

Question... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353759)

Why do they call it Transit of Venus? Shouldn't they call it Eclipse of Venus or something like that?

Re:Question... (1, Informative)

complete loony (663508) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353787)

Gee, um it couldn't possibly be that at this distanct venus is just a dot and can't obscure the sun?

Re:Question... (2, Informative)

mt v2.7 (772403) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354247)

If you RTFA (I know, I'm new here) it says that venus will appear as 1/33 the width of the sun.

Re:Question... (1)

Man in Spandex (775950) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353840)

the distance is the obvious difference between the eclipse and the venus transit. venus appears as just a dot and the fact that it will pass just next to the sun will create an effect even more dangerous to the eyes than an eclipse considering the light is more concentrated into a smaller dot.

Re:Question... (4, Informative)

Phurd Phlegm (241627) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353863)

Why do they call it Transit of Venus? Shouldn't they call it Eclipse of Venus or something like that?
Well, if Venus were larger it would be an eclipse of the sun. But, as another poster already noted, it isn't. Good thing, too, since it would have to be around a half million miles in diameter and would probably have already hurled us and Mercury into the Sun or out into interstellar space.

At least we'd all get an article on Slashdot....

Re:Question... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354083)

it would have to be around a half million miles in diameter.

Nonsense. Have you seen the sun lately? It's about the size of a quarter, max.

Confusing apparent size with real size (5, Informative)

frizzbit (611803) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354188)

A transit is a more precise term and it refers to any event where two objects appear close enough in the sky that their disks overlap.

The term eclipse is reserved for those events where the front object is large enough to significantly cover the back one.

During the transit Venus will only cover about 1/900th of the solar disk and as such this is not usually referred to as an eclipse.

What matters are the apparent sizes of the two bodies not their actual sizes, for example, the Moon is nowhere near half a million miles in diameter but when it transits the face of the Sun the event is called an eclipse. This is because, from the surface of the Earth, the apparent sizes of the Moon and the Sun are very similar and the moon is capable of blocking out a large fraction of the solar disk, sometimes even cover it completely.

Imagine you travelled to Venus during the transit - the disk of the planet would get larger and larger until around 1 million kms (630 thousand miles) from the planet it would be large enough to totally eclipse the Sun.

Re:Question... (2, Funny)

martinX (672498) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354216)

No, you see Venus would have to be bigger to cause an eclipse. At least the size of the moon, maybe a little bigger.

But since it's only the size of a Transit Van, it's passage across the face of the sun will only be The Transit of Venus.

Terraforming (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353765)

It would be interesting if someday human could live in Venus (w/ the little help from terraforming), and experience the transit directly from there.

Re:Terraforming (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353793)

yeah. Could observe the transit of the back of my hand across your face..?

travelling at the speed of light..?

Re:Terraforming (5, Funny)

Exiler (589908) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353794)

I think they'd call it "Night" or "DEAR GOD! THE GOOGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!"

Lameness filter encountered. Post aborted!
Reason: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING.

Re:Terraforming (4, Funny)

cynic10508 (785816) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353814)

Yeah, those Google people do seem to be stalling quite a bit on the IPO. But that's no reason to take the Lord's name in vain like that! Sheesh...

FUCKING GOD, JESUS GOD FUCK SHIT (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353984)

GOD I HATE YOU fuck GOD jesus GOD GOD GOD

Re:FUCKING GOD, JESUS GOD FUCK SHIT (-1, Offtopic)

Exiler (589908) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354025)

Calm down, Jesus. You know I had to do that.

Man I should SO post this anon... gooooodbye karma! *turns off karma bonus*

Re:Terraforming (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353927)

> It would be interesting if someday human could live in Venus (w/ the little help from terraforming), and experience the transit directly from there.

While in priciple those are interesting ideas, I see two potential obstacles:
1) Even with terraforming, Venus' proximity to the Sun would make average surface temperatures too warm for comfort. Maybe even too warm for life. Shielded surface habitats or underground structures might be the only options.

2) If you're on the planet and it's making a transit of the Sun, you can't see it. Think about it, at any given moment the Earth is making a similar transit, and somebody (something?) watching us from a certain point in the outer solar system would have a similar effect.

Re:Terraforming (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354056)

It would be interesting if someday human could live [on] Venus ... and experience the transit directly from there.

From there, I don't think it'd be much different than the Earth's transit of the Sun, which we experience every fricken day.

They Linked to Pictures? (4, Funny)

FlipmodePlaya (719010) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353766)

NASA.gov is in for the Slashdotting of its life!

Re:They Linked to Pictures? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353895)

you are dumb.

Re:They Linked to Pictures? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354178)

FLAMEBAIT?!?

Re:They Linked to Pictures? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354222)

The /.ing thing was a joke, so, yeah...

Don't worry 'bout it (1)

Weaselmancer (533834) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354198)

Nasa has too much bandwith for God to count. They'll be fine.

I'm tempted to make a Soviet Russia joke about them Slashdotting us.

Weaselmancer

If it hasn't started yet... (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353776)

how are "pictures starting to come in"?

Re:If it hasn't started yet... (5, Informative)

sploo22 (748838) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353820)

If you look at the NASA website, it's just entered the sun's corona (from Earth's perspective). It hasn't actually gone past the disc yet, but it's still visible to the SOHO telescope.

IN SOVIET RUSSIA! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353784)

Venus blocks you!

Tubgirl (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353797)

How are pictures coming in? (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353811)

It's not for another day ?

Cover for UFO (4, Funny)

Hao Wu (652581) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353829)

It's not Venus, it's SWAMP GAS.

This is a big desert, you could really get hurt out here. Now go away.... remember that you saw nothing.

Australia? (5, Informative)

Jeremy Erwin (2054) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353830)

The Australians will only be able to view a partial transit. According to my New Scientist, Eurasia and Africa will be able to view the entire transit, Eastern North America, South America and Western Africa will find that Venus will already be in transit at Sunrise, and Australia, Japan, Alaska and Indonesia will find the transit interrupted by sunset. New Zealand, the Western US and southern Chile will be unable to view the transit.

Re:Australia? (1)

DaLiNKz (557579) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353861)

I'll peak out the window at work.

Oh, Sure Australia... (1)

Kozar_The_Malignant (738483) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354137)

However, none of this will be visible from Western North America where I live, you insensitive clod. :-(

I can see ... (3, Informative)

acceber (777067) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353839)

...the first contact tomorrow at 3:07 PM here in Sydney. The second contact at 3:26 PM and then the sun will set just before 5 PM.

Perfect timing, as I will be able to see it straight after school, not to mention two hours of pure interesting and enlightening entertainment for free.

Beats TV any day.

Re:I can see ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354107)

Damn you Austaralians stealing all of my free astronomical entertainment! (grumble...can't see anything from Colorado...)

Re:I can see ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354210)

Anyone know if nasa will show the webcast on the nasa channel?

eye safety (3, Interesting)

Sinful_Shirts (784047) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353845)

When I was in middle school my teachers told me it was safe to look at partial eclipses with a welders mask on, but I have heard otherwise. Does anyone know about this?

Re:eye safety (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354009)

A welder's mask would be fine. They are designed to block UV light from welding, so I can't imagine why they wouldn't be suitable for direct solar viewing.

Re:eye safety (5, Informative)

jdhutchins (559010) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354027)

Yes, it is safe, if you're using #14 or darker glass.

Re:eye safety (1)

joggle (594025) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354099)

Yep, acording to one of the linked pages [transitofvenus.org] , #14 are safe.

Re:eye safety (1)

cyril3 (522783) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354146)

Or the sun is relatively safe to look directly at for short periods when it is about to set ie. once the bottom touches the horizon.

I heard this this morning from an astronomer interviewed about the transit.

Projecting (5, Funny)

NIK282000 (737852) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353846)

It says that you can project an image of the sun with binoculars, Im hoping that a telescope will work as well, if not, watch the news for "Wild fire obliterates southern ontario, /.er in questioning"

Easiest way to practice safe astronomy... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353882)

...use a condom.

(Requiescat in pace Lisa Lopes)

Eric Fletcher invented Venus (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353886)

"on the question of brakes I remember when Porsche came to me for help in designing a better system for the 928 s4. After reviewing their design over dinner, I came to the conclusion that the tangerian coefficient of 4 multiplied by the over boost pressure generated when the heat factor and boiling point of mercury reached a stasis in the left rear caliper thus creating a brake symmetry problem. I easily designed a new system over breakfast the next morning that inverted the overpressure mapping and allowed the excess pressure to bleed into the canavarn canister that I installed next to the johnson rod for the turbo.
And that reminds me of the time I was racing cars on an air base and the general saw how good I was and asked me to be a flight instructor on the SR 71, of course they didn't realize that I designed it by my self. so I did that for a while and then I became the chief instructor pilot for the combined military service. This was a bit hard as i was still instructing Seal Team instructors. In my spare time I developed a new turbo enhancement system that took the reverse pressurization flow from the fleegleman valve and applied this pressure at a constant 1.5 bar to the overboost induction Johnson rod, this increased the turbo efficiency by 85% and caused the root mean square of the coefficient of the 4.8 bar under boost over booster to recycle wasted franistan reformer load to get 200% better fuel mileage. Of course the big gas companies bought my patent and then buried it but it was ok because they also funded my secret moon base for further research and development.
Did you know that I invented the TCP-IP protocol? I was working on a movie in Switzerland and the guys at CERN heard I was there and so they asked my advice on a problem they were having. Well I looked and it was immediately obvious that they were over-clocking the tcpip stack at layer 3 and I wrote a little script fix for it for them. They wanted to nominate me for a Pulitzer prize but I simply told them to use it for the betterment of mankind. They of course were amazed at my philanthropic nature but they gave me ½ of Switzerland as a reward. I kept a little hotel on the lake but gave the rest back to the people. They then erected a statue of me and once a year has a ceremony at that site. Its really kind of embarrassing but you do what you can.
BTW Mel also asked me to be the chief camera operator on his new movie but he demanded that I not use my name as he didn't want people to come to the movie to see my brilliant work, but rather to view the story as he intended. I of course, complied with his wishes as he is a close personal friend. Also I have been working on a promising new cure for Alzheimer's in my spare time. I have been working closely with the Regan family as Ronald and I are best friends. and you remember the hunt for red October? Well that was a TRUE story. The president asked me to train the CIA for this eventuality but of course no one but me was fit for the mission so I went instead, please don't tell anyone.........then my buddy Hugh Heffner or Hef as his personal friends call him, asked me to shoot the playmate of the year spread and he rented me a 747-400 and i flew it to Fiji with all the models on board --- well one thing lead to another and I slept with ALL the playboy playmates...."
Speaking of 747's did I ever tell you guys about the development I did with the space shuttle? They came to me (of course) and asked my help in developing a recovery system for potentially damaged shuttles. I worked on it a while but didn't have the time to devote to it until I finished inventing the overthruster. Anyway, eventually I came up with a hypothesis that I could land the shuttle on the back of a 747 in flight. Of course like all good ideas, they just laughed at me, so gave them all the specs. And told them to set it up and I would prove it. I went on a secret shuttle launch to re-supply my moon base science lab. After we got the supplies down to the base I flew a perfect return to earth and moved into re-entry position. NASA launched the 747 recovery transport and after we emerged from com blackout I took over remote control of the 747 as well as the shuttle. I flew both vehicles in perfect harmony but just then one of the crew had an emergency and I had to perform an appendectomy on the flight deck while flying both craft. It was a bit hairy but of course I handled it with my usual skill and knowledge. Long story short--I docked on the 747 and then flew it to a perfect touch down! (of course)
Remember that star gate show? Well that is REAL. I discovered the first star gate while doing social work in Egypt trying to help the starving masses. In my spare time I was just conducting desert surveys as I had a theory on the pyramids that was unorthodox. Anyway I found the star gate...of course I immediately called my contacts in the CIA and they came over but were totally confused by what they saw. I looked at it a while then figured it out and made it work the same day. Well anyway that's where the movie came from. In my research with the star gate I discovered a way to make it a time travel machine as well but we are concerned about the effects on the present caused by going back to the past and altering the future or the past present. I am looking for a volunteer for the first mission and will keep you in mind. I would go of course by my sheer genius is required to work the complex machine....
Incidentally--on that dig I also discovered the lost fabled library of Alexandria and translated most of the documents found into English and then I digitized them and gave all the knowledge to the UN so it could be equally shared by all members of the civilized world.
Speaking of cameras--ever wonder why Cannon lenses were labeled EF? Because I invented the coatings that made Cannon the company it is. Cannon heard of my research on my secret moon base and came to me with their coating formula. I immediately saw what the problem was due to my extensive studies with molecular chemistry, and revised their formula over dinner. The very next day they honored me by naming the EF series lenses after me, oh and they gave me millions, so I could study overthruster boost reform to further my overthruster development by mapping the reverse osmosis fleegleman valve and how it reacted under boost.
Oh, by the way for those of you trying to become big rock stars, like Ko 4 and mick, Look I had a band, and we managed to make some coin on it until I decided to get into film. your music blows worse than the one time Anna Nicole went down on me for getting her a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I could stick a kazoo in my ass and fart and still make better music than your cunt singer ever could, except the times I munch on her slit and make her scream holy joy. Slipknot...I have had bowel movements far more entertaining than that crap you put on stage. Ill film one for you and after seeing it you will worship the toilet bowls I use"

Celestia Link (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353890)

Here's a Celestia link, if it works:

cel://Follow/Sol:Earth/2004-06-08T05:18:54.92152 ?x =KLYE5/iNG0G6DA&y=igqBtiEyCQ&z=bcUYwwychqsP&ow=0.9 94123&ox=0.000593&oy=0.108122&oz=-0.005415&select= Sol:Venus&fov=1.399520&ts=1.000000&ltd=0&rf=36755& lm=49152

Eureka! (5, Funny)

EvanED (569694) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353905)

From the article on safe viewing:
"More recently, solar observers have used floppy disks and compact disks (both CDs and CD-ROMs) as protective filters by covering the central openings and looking through the disk media."

My Dear Watson, I have discovered another use for AOL CDs! Grab the one from under that cup over there; we're going to watch Venus!

ac (-1, Troll)

pizza_milkshake (580452) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353924)

Anonymous Coward writes...

jeez, this guy is everywhere!

Canadian SCISAT-1 Spectra (5, Informative)

GraWil (571101) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353936)

It seems there is a Canadian atmospheric research satellite [uwaterloo.ca] that will also be making measurements of Venus. [uwaterloo.ca] They are using a infrared Fourier transform spectrometer and cameras with the hope of improving models for extra-solar transits (think finding ET).

Re:Canadian SCISAT-1 Spectra (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354013)


eeeww get you with all your big howdy doody words

Crater Naming (5, Interesting)

Aardpig (622459) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353952)

Back when the Magellan mission [nasa.gov] was mapping the surface of Venus, I had a planetary geology friend who was involved in assigning names to features. I managed to persuade him to name a crater [usra.edu] after my girlfriend Marianne, as a birthday present to her. At the time I thought this gift was pretty cool; unlike star names, which are meaningless, this was an official designation, and furthermore Venus was the Planet O' Love.

My mistake, however, was to forgetting that Venus is eternal, but love isn't. Every time I see Venus hanging in the evening sky, I realize I named that damn crater after the wrong woman. LOL!

Re:Crater Naming (1)

rice_burners_suck (243660) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354041)

My mistake, however, was to forgetting that Venus is eternal, but love isn't. Every time I see Venus hanging in the evening sky, I realize I named that damn crater after the wrong woman. LOL!

At least you didn't get her name tattooed down your forearm where everyone would see it for the rest of your life and wonder who's name that is... especially after breaking up with her.

Craters might be forever, but tattoos are the suxx0rz. Oh well. I hardly notice it anymore.

You're such a liar (0, Flamebait)

aussie_a (778472) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354224)

how could you have a crater named after a non-existant girlfriend ;)

Applaud NASA (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9353990)

Their servers are keepin it up good. They were prepared for the huge amount of attention from the mars landings so they have some amazing infrastructure.

Thank god they didn't link to one of the 150,000kb RAW TIFFs. Nightmare for your connection and theirs =)

List of live viewing gatherings? (4, Informative)

orthogonal (588627) | more than 10 years ago | (#9353991)

Ok, let's get a list of public viewings together.

Here's a list of web casts. [skyandtelescope.com]

Anyone else have information on live viewings?

Thanks.

venus (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354007)

here are some pics of Dick Venus [penis-size-pictures.com] in transit

Poster must have a time machine... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354043)

According to the post "- pictures are starting to come in". According to my calculations the transit doesn't start for 26 hours from now.

BBC Coverage (4, Informative)

amembleton (411990) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354091)

The BBC and Open University have a nice section on this [open2.net] . Its worth looking at.
You can calculate the distance [open2.net] of the earth from the sun.

If you're in the UK, the BBC have some programs covering this on Tuesday. There's live coverage at 9.50AM on BBC1 and another program on at 12PM on BBC1. Theres a full hour program on BBC2 at 11.20PM. All presented by Adam Hart-Davis.

Re:BBC Coverage (2, Interesting)

phlako66 (56726) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354243)

There's also a nice site in New Zealand (even though we won't be able to see the Transit this time round) about the T of V and Cook's 'voyage of discovery' that took place partially funded by the Royal Society sending him to Tahiti to record the transit. http://transitofvenus.auckland.ac.nz/ [auckland.ac.nz]

Astonishing Scientific Breakthrough!!!! (3, Funny)

sakusha (441986) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354104)

..pictures are starting to come in from the 2004 Venus Transit..

The photographic record of a Venus transit is nothing surprising. What astonishes me is that photographs are coming in from an event that is going to happen 2 days in the future.

Re:Astonishing Scientific Breakthrough!!!! (1)

sakusha (441986) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354117)

OK, checked my clock, make that 1 DAY in the future.

The U.S.A. will get a much better look in 2012 (5, Informative)

Talking Toaster (695539) | more than 10 years ago | (#9354187)

Here is the map of the transit for 2004. [nasa.gov]
And here is the map of the transit for 2012. [nasa.gov]

So while I won't get to see it this year unless I hop in my car and drive east for about 20 hours without rest, I will get to see it in 2012, unless I'm in Chille or Argentina, or something.

The further north you are, the better your chances of seeing it.
If you're in Antarctica you won't see it at all.

Re:The U.S.A. will get a much better look in 2012 (0, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354254)

The further north you are, the better your chances of seeing it.
If you're in Antarctica you won't see it at all.

I am not in Antarctica.

pussies (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9354261)

...but make sure you use safe techniques for viewing the sun if you want to look for yourself.
"safe techniques". pfff, only pussies do that. Now I think I got a nasty virus on my machine. There's a big black spot on my screen. Has anyone heard about it?
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