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Spider-Man 2 Game Rewarded To Tusk-Impaled Spidey Copycat

simoniker posted about 10 years ago | from the pavlov's-dog-setup dept.

Movies 72

Thanks to FirstCoastNews/AP for its article discussing the videogame reward for a Florida child who impaled himself on an ornamental elephant tusk while impersonating Spider-Man. Apparently, after viewing the movie and "playing at his grandmother's home, imitating some of the super hero's moves... the boy lost his balance... and then hit the heavy mahogany elephant.. and half the elephant's large ivory tusk broke off and got stuck in his body." Post-accident, the boy's mother explained "she was proud of her son keeping his composure during the ordeal... [and] he'll be rewarded with a Spider-Man 2 video game [as recently covered on Slashdot Games]", saying "That was his motivation through it all... I'm like, whatever it takes." Feel free to suggest other hospitalization-related acts that could be performed to receive a similarly-themed videogame.

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Serious, but ... (4, Insightful)

Mad_Fred (530564) | about 10 years ago | (#9599036)

... isn't it nice that, for a change, people (at least one person) don't go totally moral-panic, demanding censorship and warning labels on everything?

Re:Serious, but ... (1)

randomizer9 (595107) | about 10 years ago | (#9599721)

Not YET at least, wait until they get the bill from the hospital...

Re:Serious, but ... (1)

Goldberg's Pants (139800) | about 10 years ago | (#9609999)

So, does this mean that I can go and blow some innocent pedestrians away and get a free GTA: San Andreas?

Re:Serious, but ... (1)

angryLNX (679691) | about 10 years ago | (#9599769)

I'm sure it would be a different story if the boy had been killed in the accident.

Re:Serious, but ... (1)

bigman2003 (671309) | about 10 years ago | (#9604202)

Just today on an episode of Futurama, they had scenes of Fry lying dead in a coffin, with a huge bee stinger sticking out of him.

I swear, it looked exactly like an elephant tusk.

Re:Serious, but ... (1)

mcgroarty (633843) | about 10 years ago | (#9601418)

Hollywood is a largely liberal institution. It's exempt from many forms of government-sponsored corporate abuse that plague other markets.

Re:Serious, but ... (1)

TheLoneDanger (611268) | about 10 years ago | (#9603707)

... isn't it nice that, for a change, people (at least one person) don't go totally moral-panic, demanding censorship and warning labels on everything?

You fool, do you know how many young lives are effected every year by elephant tusk impalement? How much longer will we needlessly allow tiny cute and innocent little children be gored by inanimate tusks? Do you have any idea how much pain and suffering could be prevented by a "WARNING: Do not use to impale self" or even a "WARNING: Impalement Risk" label? Won't you PLEASE think of the children?

Re:Serious, but ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9619479)

effected every year


There was this guy, who like... (4, Funny)

TellarHK (159748) | about 10 years ago | (#9599038)

I heard about this guy that worked at some place with these other guys that some friends of my second cousin knew, that REALLY wanted a copy of Half-Life. This was back in like '98. See, this guy's wife really, really, really didn't understand what the gane was about, so the guy tried to show her why he wanted it so bad and pulled out a crowbar and started whaling on things all over the house!

Once she got out of the coma, and he got off his 3-4 year sentence, he got their kid's copy of Half-Life with the divorce settlement and he's had all the time he needed to play it ever since!

True story!

The sad thing... (1, Insightful)

{8_8} (31689) | about 10 years ago | (#9599039)

is that he got rewarded for impaling himself while doing something dumb.

Re:The sad thing... (4, Insightful)

LordLucless (582312) | about 10 years ago | (#9599053)

Because you just know the next time he sees a giant elephant statue, he's going to think "Hey, if I impale myself on this things tusks, I could get a free computer game!". Don't be stupid. The kid is five years old, and has just been airlifted to hospital and probably scared half to death. And remember not to send flowers or chocolates to your next friend who injures themselves and lands in hospital - you'll only encourage them.

Re:The sad thing... (2, Interesting)

{8_8} (31689) | about 10 years ago | (#9599134)

Hehe, I guess you didn't get the joke.

It's all a matter of perspective, really. You can see things the way you did, which is perfectly valid and probably the way a lot of parents would look at it. You can also simplify it and see the absurdity inherent in it, like I did.

By the way, I wouldn't send flowers and chocolates to my friend in the hospital. I'd go visit them.

Re:The sad thing... (1)

Nebu (566313) | about 10 years ago | (#9600926)

I wouldn't be surprised if five year olds would prefer chocolate over visits from friends.

Re:The sad thing... (0)

{8_8} (31689) | about 10 years ago | (#9601962)

I guess I could always bring chocolate...

Re:The sad thing... (1)

torpor (458) | about 10 years ago | (#9599677)

really, you know the kid eh?

maybe he's getting 'rewarded' for being a brave kid and not freaking out while his family and other caring adults helped him get the bone out.

hell, its not like geeks like you wouldn't need a lollypop ...

Re:The sad thing... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9619487)

It wasn't a bone, it was a tusk, and a carved wooden tusk, at that. Geezum cripes, people, read the funning article, for criminy's sake!

Re:The sad thing... (2, Insightful)

Lemmy Caution (8378) | about 10 years ago | (#9599860)

When I was kid, I hurt myself plenty when playing, winding up in a hospital a couple times due to falls and such. In the long run, though, being active has kept me from becoming pear-shaped. I still occassionally get hurt - I broke my arm snowboarding a couple years ago - but I think, in the long run, I'm better off for it.

What would be sad would be if he didn't hurt himself acting like Spider-Man because he only sat around watching Spider-Man. Or if his play were limited to the videogame. I think that becoming a blob ensconced in front of a TV screen is a lot dumber than getting hurt while play-acting.

Re:The sad thing... (1)

Drawkcab (550036) | about 10 years ago | (#9603704)

Bouncing around the room and colliding with a statue falls within the normal and acceptable range of 5 year old behavior. If he was 13 and impaled himself while pretending to be spiderman, it would be dumb. This was just an unfortunate accident, not stupidity. Any lesson about being careful around ivory tusks that the child needed to learn was more than sufficiently reinforced by nearly getting killed, so a little comfort from his parents is much more appropriate than further punishment heaped on top of it. Sometimes things go wrong and there is reason to blame someone, but other times there is no reason to blame anyone. Its a mistake to always try to assign blame, just as much as to never try to assign it.

Good Mother (4, Insightful)

BigDork1001 (683341) | about 10 years ago | (#9599041)

At least the mother isn't blaming the movie and video game for causing her son to pretend to be Spider Man. Instead of suing a bunch of people related to the movie and video game she's buying him the Spider Man game. After all kids have active imaginations and will play pretend and do stuff like this. And kids get into accidents like this. They'll trip and fall and other stuff, mostly not as sever as this though. The mother is handling this very well IMO.

Re:Good Mother (1)

Zzootnik (179922) | about 10 years ago | (#9599613)

Don't worry- The movie hasn't been out a week yet- give it time to make a bigger bucket load of money and you'll probably see the sharks moving in... Yeah- I hope I'm kidding there-

Although I have seen a good sized rash of real people doing cartoony-style dumb stuff in television commercials trying to do Spiderman-type stuff...Like the kid with the web shooter who swings into the side of a building and gets flattened... Stupidity sells?

Bad Mother (2, Funny)

Rufus88 (748752) | about 10 years ago | (#9603264)

She's rewarding behavior that could have got the boy killed. I hereby dub her "The Anti-Darwin".

Oh I just don't know what to say..... (4, Funny)

howman (170527) | about 10 years ago | (#9599050)

Electocute yourself trying to rig up a virtual sex machine... win Final Fantasy
Jump in front of a Subaru win GT 2...
Walk down any lower east LA street... win Doom II
Return from Iraq... win Splinter Cell
Fight of a gater in Florida, win Redneck rampage...
Surf the net unprotected, win IE 6... oh you would have to have it already to do that...

Impaled by a tusk imitating Spiderman... could have been worse... He could have taken grandma out in the process...

Re:Oh I just don't know what to say..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9600190)

Soldiers injured in Iraq given "Cannon Fodder" to play whilst recovering.

Re:Oh I just don't know what to say..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9600582)

Jump in front of a Subaru win GT 2...

I was run over in the crosswalk by a white Subaru in the late 1990s and thrown about 40 feet through the air. I still want my fucking copy of GT2 mother fuckers!

Re:Oh I just don't know what to say..... (1)

Zorilla (791636) | about 10 years ago | (#9600780)

You forgot:

Eat some bad mushrooms, win a copy of Wario Land 4 (GBA)

Re:Oh I just don't know what to say..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9602085)

Go back in time and screw things up horribly (::raises hand:: "Guilty") and win a copy of Chrono Trigger.

Re:Oh I just don't know what to say..... (1)

Old Wolf (56093) | about 10 years ago | (#9611199)

Invade Iraq again, win Warcraft II
Live in San Francisco, win Quake

Jesus christ! (1)

I Hate Jesus (751654) | about 10 years ago | (#9599085)

How the hell is this newsworthy, let alone slashdot newsworthy?

Re:Jesus christ! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9599550)

Maybe it's part of your typical Slashdotter's history to have been given material incentives not to act like an idiot as a child.

Like, oh, being given a computer as a gift at age 6, after months of making fake-ass robot computer tape noises in public and getting smacked around by the school bullies.

Deet doot dot BZZT, whirrr! Does not compute! AHH!

Re:Jesus christ! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9599903)

Newsworthy? It's not on the main page, it's in the games section. Only. I fail to see why you expect "worthy" posts in a section devoted to entertainment news. No one is making you read it.

Question (5, Insightful)

Glytch (4881) | about 10 years ago | (#9599098)

What the heck was an elephant statue with sharpened tusks doing at the same elevation as a 5-year-old? While I have no kids of my own, I have several dozen young cousins, and the first rule of watching 5-year-olds is to make sure that dangerous and fragile items are stuffed in a closet before they arrive.

I think grandma here is more interested in not being sued for negligence herself.

Re:Question (2, Insightful)

Thag (8436) | about 10 years ago | (#9600486)

When the aforementioned five-year-old is climbing around on top of a filing cabinet playing Spider-Man, is anywhere really safe?

The real issue is, what supposedly responsible person was letting him do this?

Jon Acheson

Re:Question (2, Insightful)

TwistedSquare (650445) | about 10 years ago | (#9604959)

The real issue is, what supposedly responsible person was letting him do this?

"Judge, I move for a motion of boys will be boys" -- Lisa Simpson. You can't watch kids 24 hours a day. They will always get up to some hijinx or other, you can't prevent that. You can try and instill how dangerous things are into them, but this kid was only five. These things happen, and it's just good to see that there are no lawsuits flying about the place for once.

Re:Question (1)

mcgroarty (633843) | about 10 years ago | (#9601352)

Man, I remember when we had metal Tonka Trucks with dangerous corners. Chinese kids have toys made of folded tin with the razor sharp corners and edges.

Now and then a kid bled, and he learned a lesson about being reckless. You could count the number of resulting deaths on fewer fingers than it took to count kids struck by lightning.

Now we're Nerfing the world, and kids are growing up without any common sense or practical caution.

Re:Question (1)

Starsmore (788910) | about 10 years ago | (#9602797)

Man, I wish they woulda nerfed childhood when I was growing up. That woulda been cool to wake up the next day and find out that the school bully got nerfed so he's weaker then me. Of course, the school bully would whine next, and I'd get the nerfbat up side the head.

Re:Question (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9604048)

the first rule of watching 5-year-olds is to make sure that dangerous and fragile items are stuffed in a closet before they arrive

And so when they act up and need a little discipline, it's only a matter of asking them to get something from the "special closet" to have all the dangerous crap tumble out and take care of everything! I like this plan.

Re:Question (1)

gardyloo (512791) | about 10 years ago | (#9616379)

the first rule of watching 5-year-olds is to make sure that dangerous and fragile items are stuffed in a closet before they arrive.

Seems to me that seriously padding up that closet, maybe drilling in a few air holes... Heck, even getting some heavy-use dollys and cool hockey masks with the bars over the mouths and just sticking several cousins in there at a time, would be easier than eliminating the things that might harm them.

Darwin (1)

jkidd (552837) | about 10 years ago | (#9599174)

I see this kid getting a Darwin Award sometime in his life. At least he has something to look for.

Re:Darwin (1)

Zorilla (791636) | about 10 years ago | (#9600793)

Wait, I thought people get Darwin awards after their life has ended, not during it?

I blame (4, Funny)

zors (665805) | about 10 years ago | (#9599223)

the elephants. Clearly elephants are attempting to destroy our youth. Before they were content just to spy upon them from afar, but now their sleeper agents are attacking our children in our own homes. Something needs to be done.

Remember, if not us, who? If not now, when? Join G.A.E.I. (Gamers Against Elephant Impalement) today. Get G.A.E.I. today, for the children.

Freak accident calls for group participation (0, Flamebait)

presearch (214913) | about 10 years ago | (#9599358)

Feel free to suggest other hospitalization-related acts that could be performed to receive a similarly-themed videogame

Now /. wants to be Fark?

Evercrack (4, Funny)

DrWho520 (655973) | about 10 years ago | (#9599467)

How about being utterly absorbed by a MORPG, forsaking your family, job and any outdoor activity to completely immerse yourself in the gaming experience. What do you get after spending 96 straight hours battling in the realms of Norath?

A copy of .hack//infection, .hack//mutation, .hack//outbreak or .hac//quarantin, of course.

Re:Evercrack (1)

servognome (738846) | about 10 years ago | (#9600978)

What do you get after spending 96 straight hours battling in the realms of Norath?
A free trip [] to the afterlife [] , and a nomination for the darwin award.

hmm (3, Insightful)

88NoSoup4U88 (721233) | about 10 years ago | (#9599489)

Whereas it's good to see that they aren't blaming the game/movie for such unresponsible parenting/bad luck : What is this article doing on Slashdot ?

I'm the last person to whine about contents on Slashdot, but I wondered what the editors had in mind to slip this one through : It seriously has -nothing- to do with games, and -nothing- with anything Slashdot related : it's stuff i normally find on Fark.

How bout next time including the end tag 'hilarity ensues' ?

Re:hmm (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9600574)

I think there's an even more important question: Did your mother have any children that lived?

Re:hmm (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9602151)

I am having flashbacks to the article about the girl who had a heart condition that HAPPENED to kick in while she was playing ddr. It had nothing to do with the game, but the story was spread throughout the ddr community. Why?

Ban ivory tusks. (1)

skinfitz (564041) | about 10 years ago | (#9599509)

Yet another reason why ivory elephant tusks should be banned.

Really - there will be people out there calling for SpiderMan to be banned because of this. I say ban tusks as if the tusk was not there, the accident could not have happened.

I'm curious about the scene in SpiderMan 2 where he impales himself on an ivory elephant tusk. I suppose it's lucky he hadn't been watching Edward Scissorhands.

Re:Ban ivory tusks. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9602193)

remember a while back, when some kids went and saw The Fast and the Furious, and when they were leaving the theatre, they drove extremely fast and got into an accident (maybe killed, I cant remember)? That didnt get that movie banned. It blew over after a week.

Darwin would be angry.. (0, Troll)

Mechcommander (784124) | about 10 years ago | (#9599699)

So, this kid gets a free video game for being stupid? While it sucks this happened to him, I still don't think he should be rewarded for it. If anything, it calls for a long talking-to from his parental units about how dumb it is to impersonate movies.

Re:Darwin would be angry.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9600470)

Let me guess... you spent your childhood in a La-Z-Boy, and now weigh more than Shamu?

Re:Darwin would be angry.. (2, Insightful)

DeepHurtn! (773713) | about 10 years ago | (#9601810)

If anything, it calls for a long talking-to from his parental units about how dumb it is to impersonate movies.

Of course, since children never play, and we absolutely need to discourage them from doing so.

Re:Darwin would be angry.. (1)

Starsmore (788910) | about 10 years ago | (#9602809)

There's a difference between discouraging children from playing, and teaching them some common sense. Like, climbing around on stuff inside the house. That's what the outside is for. Go climb a tree, the grass is there to break your fall!

Re:Darwin would be angry.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9621832)

It's no wonder to me how we have so many idiots trying to censor everything now. Idiots like you are incapable of taking anything seriously and acting responsibly. *sigh*

Darwin Awards (1)

Flingles (698457) | about 10 years ago | (#9599704)

Ah! So thats what you get for receiving a darwin awards honorable mention.

Obligatory Simspons quote: (2, Funny)

randomizer9 (595107) | about 10 years ago | (#9599744)

"I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward."
--Dr. Hibbert

When I was child... (1)

clu76 (620823) | about 10 years ago | (#9599918)

I was playing Tarzan with the drapes and swung my mouth into the corner of a piano. Knocked out all my front teeth. Had to put up with stitches and milkshakes for weeks.

Re:When I was child... (3, Insightful)

elasticwings (758452) | about 10 years ago | (#9600692)

Awesome, milkshakes kick ass!!!

Re:When I was child... (1)

csplinter (734017) | about 10 years ago | (#9610074)

I was playing superman and and ended fractureing my collar bone. Had to put up with a sling and brace on my back. I couldn't post on slashdot for weeks. In retrospect I'm glad it happend, taught me a valuable lesson, plus I have this great bionic arm. but seriously hasn't this happend to all/most of us? Is this really news worthy?

Pac Man Fever (0, Offtopic)

eforhan (631605) | about 10 years ago | (#9600090)

I popped some pills, sprayed myself with yellow paint, and thought I was being chased by ghosts...until the car hit me.

That's a good reward... (3, Funny)

nobodyman (90587) | about 10 years ago | (#9600517)

... because it would have sucked if the reward was, say, a ornamental mahogany elephant. Ouch.

Parents? (3, Insightful)

techstar25 (556988) | about 10 years ago | (#9601985)

Who are these parents taking their 5 year old child to the PG-13 movie? That's why we have movie ratings, folks...pardon me if I sound like a over-conservative moron. It never fails, whenever I go see a movie like Kill Bill, there is always one parent with his/her 3, 4 and 5 year olds in the theatre. I just don't get it. I don't need a baby crying all throughout my movie.

Re:Parents? (1)

ottothecow (600101) | about 10 years ago | (#9602804)

Well the difference between Kill Bill and spiderman...

I agree with Kill Bill though, when I saw the first one (second was a late late show), there were some kids with there parents. No. Not OK.

I think a movie theater chain should do something about it. Meerly suggesting that parents of small children take their kids to earlier shows (shouldnt they be in bed anyway). Shrek 2 may be a kids movie, but it has lots of teen and adult appeal, the 9:00 shoing should really be free of annoying kids (even the kids old enough for the 7:30 should know not to be annoying)

Re:Parents? (2, Interesting)

Cyno01 (573917) | about 10 years ago | (#9603274)

Marcus Theatres around here have a policy that no one under 6 is allowed into an R rated movie. Period. Not that kids slighltly, or even more than slightly above that age should be seing R movies either, but its a start. I went and saw The Green Mile when i was in 6th grade, or whenever it was out, but thats certanly a different R rating than Kill Bill or something.

Re:Parents? (1)

Richard_at_work (517087) | about 10 years ago | (#9609025)

In the UK, its the LAW that the ages on films are just that, hard floors for customers. You cant take a kid into an 18 rated film, the kid isnt old enough and the cinema wont sell you the ticket.

Re:Parents? (1)

Random832 (694525) | about 10 years ago | (#9612179)

The local theater here has an even stronger policy: no-one under 17 is allowed into an R rated movie. Period. it's stupid, that's what NC17 is for, but

hopefully... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9602129)

they'll be giving the kid the console version and not the crappy PC version.

boom (2, Funny)

Rinisari (521266) | about 10 years ago | (#9602916)

If I went on a rampage with a chainsaw, picked off nine people with a hunting rifle, and stole a Ferrari with the purpose of getting across town to steal a tank from the local barracks, would I get a copy of GTA: Vice City?

Re:boom (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9619210)

No, you'd get an advanced copy of "Backyard Dumbass Mascots Gon' Wild : Mario Party 9"

Heh... (1)

Cyno01 (573917) | about 10 years ago | (#9603298)

Reminds me of a friend of mine who was playing touch football in somebody's yard and was accidentaly impailed on the antler of a wrought-iron deer lawn statue. Missed his vitals, so we can laugh about it as he only ended up with a few stiches and a good scar story. I dont think anyone bought him a football for it though. But in either case its refreshing to see that they're saying, yeah, he's a dumb little kid, dumb little kids do dumb things and sometimes hurt themselves, lets not blame someone with deep pockets who we can sue.

Goes around, comes around (3, Insightful)

pommaq (527441) | about 10 years ago | (#9604650)

Wait, a mahogany statue with ivory tusks, bought in Africa? If someone should be impaled, it's this kid's grandmother for buying that thing - African mahogany means rainforest and ivory means poached elephant. This is an open-and-shut case of karma and IMO that old hag got off lightly.

As for the kid getting a game, whatever, parents do stuff like that to cheer their kids up. I remember getting a copy of Master of Orion after yanking out a tooth.

Batman (1)

ShroomSolo (793510) | about 10 years ago | (#9614050)

Well... living on the lower north side of Pittsburgh, heard a story about a woman with a batman fettish. To make it short she was tied to the bed when her husband jumped off the dresser, hit his head on the ceiling fan, knocking himself out. All she could do was scream till someone called the police. They found Batman knocked out on the floor with a naked woman tied up in bed. =)

Silly Story (1)

MonkeyCookie (657433) | about 10 years ago | (#9623686)

So some kid is playing around, falls and hurts himself rather badly. The fact that he was pretending to be Spider Man was beside the point. Kids get hurt all the time when they're playing pretending to be all sorts of things. I see nothing special here.

Kids are going to have imaginations, they're going to play, and they're going to get hurt doing so. It's a fact of life.
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