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Steve Jobs Undergoes Cancer Surgery

timothy posted more than 9 years ago | from the get-well-soon-steve dept.

Apple 413

Zycom writes "Reuters reports that doctors successfully removed a cancerous tumor from the pancreas of Apple CEO Steve Jobs. In an e-mail he sent out from his hospital bed after the surgery he explained the disease, saying, "I had a very rare form of pancreatic cancer called an islet cell neuroendocrine tumor, which represents about 1 percent of the total cases of pancreatic cancer diagnosed each year, and can be cured by surgical removal if diagnosed in time (mine was)." He will not need to have any chemotherapy or radiation therapy and has an excellent prognosis. While he is recuperating, Tim Cook, head of worldwide sales and operations, will run the company."

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413 comments

Alrighty then! (5, Funny)

erick99 (743982) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860964)

Jobs was informed, prior to surgery, that there were no user serviceable parts within his pancreas but he could have his pancreas refurbished/rebuilt for a reasonable fee.

Cheers!

Erick

Re:Alrighty then! (1)

tattoi.nobori (687297) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861003)

I can't decide if that's funny, or the most tasteless First Post ever...

If the former, haha! If the latter, congratulations... I guess. A somewhat dubious honor..

Cheers!

Re:Alrighty then! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861049)

That's Apple alright. He couldn't go with the standard pancreatic cancer, instead opting for the proprietary form.

Re:Alrighty then! (5, Funny)

EverDense (575518) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861050)

I have a prediction:

Bill Gates will get cancer in about 10 years time.
He will then file a slew of patents, like he was
the first head of a major computing corporation
to ever have it.

All the Apple-ites will then point out that Steve
Jobs had cancer, 10 years before Bill Gates.

The more historical pedantic will then point out
that the head of Xerox had cancer back in the 70s.

Re:Alrighty then! (5, Informative)

stuffman64 (208233) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861159)

The most ironic thing about this, is that it is at least partially true. Former Xerox CEO David T. Kearns was diagnosed with sinus cancer in 1992 [democratandchronicle.com] .

For those that don't know, Kearns was they guy in charge in the 80s during Xerox's turnaround.

Re:Alrighty then! (4, Informative)

SuperBanana (662181) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861098)

Jobs was informed, prior to surgery, that there were no user serviceable parts within his pancreas but he could have his pancreas refurbished/rebuilt for a reasonable fee.

Not quite- his warranty covers everything, except that little bit of his pancreas.

(I discovered a few weeks ago that the little flippy part of my power adapter..duck-something is what the guy at the store called it... is not covered by warranty, supposedly. Probably because they break like crazy. 3-goddam-thousand-dollar laptop and they want to charge me $20 for the little flippy power plug bit).

now watch Gates copy him (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860967)

and remove his anus

Re:now watch Gates copy him (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861148)

But then there would be no Bil... um never mind I get it now.

Virex 7.2 caught it. (5, Funny)

SYFer (617415) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860969)

Your virus definitions (DAT files) were last updated June 09, 2004, and may be out of date. Please download and install new ones as soon as possible.

Your virus definitions were last updated on July 21, 2004, and appear to be up to date.

Cleaning Scan started at 2004-08-01 20:04:43 -0700Scanning /Users/steve/pancreas/*
Scanning file /Users/steve/pancreas/cells.org...

Summary report on /Users/steve/pancreas/*
File(s)
Total files: ... 50
Clean: ... 49
Not scanned: ... 0
Cleaned: ... 1

Congratulations, Steve jobs! Huzzah! LiveSTRONG!

Re:Virex 7.2 caught it. (4, Informative)

SYFer (617415) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861055)

Uh, sorry to double up, but BTW: LIVESTRONG [laf.org] is Lance Armstrong's Cancer Survivor non-profit. That yellow armband that you see on John Kerry's wrist--it's related to this. If you are a MAC (couldn't resist) fanboi, please give a few bucks in Steve's name.

Re:Virex 7.2 caught it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861099)

I love Media Access Control!

I'm donating right away so Lance Armstrong will have more time to make propaganda commercials for the big drug companies!

Re:Virex 7.2 caught it. (0)

cytoman (792326) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861111)

I don't mean to nit-pick... but Steve Jobs was NOT infected by a virus... he had cancer... it's like a piece of code getting corrupted and messing up the program... kinda like in Matrix when the agent becomes like a cancer and starts spreading throughout the system.

Nothing like cancer... (5, Funny)

nmoog (701216) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860970)

To keep the "funny" posts away.

Steve Jobs wants to know (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861039)

Steve Jobs asked this question on his death bed:
Tkinter, PyQt, PyFLTK, WxPython or PyGTK - what's the best GUI toolkit for Python?

Correction (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860971)

It was iSurgery for an iCancerous iTumor.

If I were the surgeon... (5, Funny)

TiMac (621390) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860972)

...I don't think I'd be able to resist the temptation to say "By the way, I'm a hardcore Windows fan" right as he went under anesthesia. Then tell him the truth when he came back around.

Re:If I were the surgeon... (5, Insightful)

TiMac (621390) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860991)

All kidding aside, I'm more than glad he's going to be okay. He's done more for the computer industry than most.

God bless (-1, Flamebait)

after (669640) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860975)

Good for him.

I've losed a friend to cancer. It's too bad George Bush doesn't allow stem cell research.

Re:God bless (-1, Offtopic)

jrockway (229604) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860983)

Looks as if you losed your grammar manual too!

It's too bad George Bush doesn't know how to talk!

Re:God bless (0, Offtopic)

erick99 (743982) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861002)

Clinton, on the other hand, was very articulate regardless of what his penis was doing at the time. It's a gift....

Erick

monica thought so. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861028)

The Yugoslavs, however, paid dearly for it.

Re:monica thought so. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861044)

Not to defend Serbia's actions too much, but it seems a bit like Clinton gave a nice boost to terrorists in that region. Hopefully, they won't come thank us in 747s anytime soon.

Mainstream press ignored this. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861134)

Well, singling out Yugoslavia for "special treatment" in this case is like giving one ticket for speeding at the Indianapolis 500. Leaders of Croatia, Bosnia, Kosovo and possibly USA deserve blame too. Yep, Clintons support for Islamic terrorists was labeled "fighting against genocide" a mere 5 years ago.

technicality ... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861015)

Stem cell research is allowed ... on existing cell lines and non-embryonic cell lines.

I support stem cell research, but it's a moot point, they have cell lines they can work with and if you don't like the existing restrictions, you can go to the Cayman Islands or India. Just like our software jobs and corporate charters.

What are you talking about? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861080)

Stem cell research is only remotely related to cancer biology you silly twit.

No offense ... (-1, Troll)

phoxix (161744) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860976)

but this qualifies as news worthy ?

Don't get me wrong, I too am wholefully greatful that Steve Job's health is improving and that he apparently isn't in any clear danger. But why slashdot of all places ?

Sunny Dubey

Re:No offense ... (5, Insightful)

telstar (236404) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861018)

"But why slashdot of all places ?"
  • Simple as this ... no Steve Jobs ... no Apple computers ... no iMac, iCal, iPod, iBook ... you get the picture. He's one of the men that continues to shape the industry ... so when he goes under the knife, people tend to take notice.

Come on.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861022)

What else are we going to put up?

"Gnome is better than KDE," Post #35135135 in the Gnome vs. KDE flamewars?

How about "Look, I made my computer overclock to 10ghz with a refrigerator the size of a house!!!"

Or, "With this dead stick and a coil of wire, I made my own Apple //e!"

Re:No offense ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861033)

nerd [opencurve.org]

Re:No offense ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861069)

Ah, the irony that your post gets modded as "Flamebait". Gotta love it around here...

Re:No offense ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861081)

That's because there's no "WTF?" mod.

RDF (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860979)

I guess too much RDF causes cancer....

All Jokes Aside (4, Informative)

orion024 (694922) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860980)

I'm glad all is going well for him. He's lucky he fell into that rare 1%. Pancreatic cancer is one of the more deadly types of cancer.

Re:All Jokes Aside (1)

nic barajas (750051) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861097)

No kidding about the rarity. Although he stated in the e-mail that it was at the very least treatable, compared the the more widely recognized and uncurable pancreatic cancer.

Apple is Doomed! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860981)

Obligatory Apple is Doomed Comment.

Detection? (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860984)

"can be cured by surgical removal if diagnosed in time (mine was)"

How do you dected pancreatic cancer early, i didnt know you could screen for it.

Re:Detection? (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861007)

Guys with insane wealth get preventative yearly CT scans.

Re:Detection? (2, Informative)

erick99 (743982) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861040)

You develop any of a host of symptoms that cause you to see your doctor, who, in the course of diagnosing what ails you, discovers that your problem is within your pancreas. Sort of like going to a physician because of "stress headaches" and finding out that you have a brain tumour.

Cheers,

Erick

Re:Detection? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861141)

Cancer in the pancreas often leads to urinating blood. It also hurts pretty badly. And the process for testing for a tumor is... unpleasant (personally, I would rather have them knock me out beforehand).

Re:Detection? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861149)

Ah, but by this time it is too late. I know this is as I have a parent who died of pancreatic cancer.

Cancer Detection using SELDI mass spectrometry (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861083)

Though not foolproof, you can sometimes detect specific cancer signatures via blood tests. There's new technolgies called "SELDI" where high troughput mass spectrometry is done : ciphergen press release here. [ciphergen.com] There's a lot of kinks to work out to take this out of the research labs and into the clinics; but there is promise here. There's been some problems with people fucking up their research using this tool.

Re:Detection? (1, Interesting)

Fnkmaster (89084) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861155)

This is actually an interesting question. I am not specifically aware of any general screening possible for pancreatic cancer either. There are many blood markers that can be positive for specific cancer types, but it seems more likely that an MRI or CT scan for something else (unrelated) showed this tumor. Somebody else mentioned some uber-blood screening tests - I've never heard of these, but it does sound like a good idea. In fact, I'm surprised more hasn't been done on that.


In any case, he's insanely lucky. Pancreatic cancer in general is very bad news - very difficult area to get to, tough to treat.

If Jobs wasn't there (2, Insightful)

usefool (798755) | more than 9 years ago | (#9860986)

I would like to ask what would happen if, one day, Steve Jobs wasn't there for Apple anymore, will it still be as innovative as before? (not that I wish anything bad happens to him)

Re:If Jobs wasn't there (1)

johnny_sas (785125) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861006)

There was an article recently about this, and I think it was referenced on slashdot (try doing a search)

Slashdot Poll (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860987)

How much would you pay for Steve Job's tumor?

New Logo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860994)

A rainbow colored pancreas with a bite out of it?

This is PROOF (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9860995)

Macs cause cancer!

cancerous tumor? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861004)

Reuters reports that doctors successfully removed a cancerous tumor from the pancreas of Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

They called it Microsoft.

Yeah, yeah, cancer isn't funny. But karma whoring overcomes all.

Woah (1)

dacarr (562277) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861008)

Nothing like serious illness to sober you up right quick. Steve, if you read this, hope you're doing well.

iTumor (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861009)

Think chemo.

Good to Hear (2, Insightful)

agraupe (769778) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861012)

I've had a love/hate relationship with Macs (as with windows), but I still wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's good to hear that he is recovering.

Double-take (5, Funny)

mikeophile (647318) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861021)

While he is recuperating, Tim Cook, head of worldwide sales and operations, will run the company.

Am I the only one who read the word "run" as "ruin" on first read?

Get well.... (1, Insightful)

ericdano (113424) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861026)

Get well Steve. You are an inspiration, and someone to look up to in the industry.

best wishes (1)

dalamarian (741404) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861027)

I wish the best for the man, because I don't want to see anybody go through the suffering of cancer. But I would be lying if I wasn't concerned over the future of his baby, Apple.

Seriously, folks (4, Funny)

justin_saunders (99661) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861029)

This is a good time to reflect on our own mortality.

For all the whining, posing, Microsoft/Apple/Linux bashing we do; for all the work related stress we put up with and all the missed opportunities to spend time with loved ones; we only have a limited time on Earth.

The most important thing is....
..eh who cares. I JUST WANNA PLAY DOOM 3.

And get well Steve. Take the time off to think about how great a colour iPod with bluetooth would be.

cheers,
Justin.

Perfect....timing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861030)

Now would be the perfect time for a corporate coup attempt.

Statistics (1)

ledbetter (179623) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861034)

Steve Jobs gets a cancer so rare it shows up in 1% of cancer cases. Making it just rarer than the OS he runs, which shows up in 2% of comptuers ;)

And yes, we know that Steve Ballmer already has the much more statistically prevalent; Brain Cancer [ntk.net]

Oh, and one more thing... (4, Funny)

tm2b (42473) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861037)

I find it interesting the way it was all handled, outside of stock trading hours.

I wonder if his doctor had a dark enough sense of humor to say something like,
"Well, we got your test results back. Your liver is fine, your heart is great, and your pulmonary health is excellent.
Oh, and one more thing..."

Great to hear he'll be fine.

Good thing he as pancreatic islet cell tumor. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861043)

If they caught it early, then he has a good chance of complete recovery. If it spread of if he had another form of pancreatic cancer, then he'd be dead meat. Pancreatic cancer has the worst 5-year survival rate of any cancer. Though I'm no fan of Apple, I hope he cheats death.

the cancer has spread (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861045)

It's true.

After the preliminary biopsy doctors thought they had found a tumor on the inner wall of Mr. Jobs's rectum but upon further investigation they realized it was just his head which had been stuck up his ass for so long that it caused mild discomfort.

Nothing to poke fun of... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861046)

Honestly... after seeing many relatives lose to cancer, it's good to see that Steve has an excellent prognosis...

All nerdiness aside, I hope that Steve makes a full recovery... He's not someone I'd like to see taken off this planet any time soon.

-AC

Well You Know What They Say.... (5, Funny)

Snagle (644973) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861048)

An apple a day keeps the cancer away.....oh....guess not.

Get well soon steve

Ah-ha! (2, Funny)

iamdrscience (541136) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861061)

If an apple a day truly kept the doctor away then this never would have happened. I knew that saying was just marketing hype.

Steve is now a Type-1 Diabetic :-( (3, Interesting)

cytoman (792326) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861067)

Now that his islet cells have been removed, I guess Steve Jobs is now a Type-1 diabetic, condemned to survive on iNSULIN iNJECTIONS like many others (including me). Or maybe he'll get one of those hi-tech insulin pump/blood glucose monitor combos... i hope that stem-cell research now accelerates its effort to find a cure for type-1 diabetes. Poor taste in humor acknowledged (see above use of iNSULIN) and apologies submitted in advance.

Re:Steve is now a Type-1 Diabetic :-( (1, Funny)

Performaman (735106) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861132)

I guess he'll introduce an Apple Insulin pump now. But it will only take proprietary, Apple-approved GRM (Genetic Rights Management) insulin, which you can buy for 99 cents per injection, or pay $9.99 for an entire day's worth.

Re:Steve is now a Type-1 Diabetic :-( (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861146)

Not really, you cannot remove all of the beta cells (the ones that produce insulin) in a pancreas w/o removing the entire thing.

They just took out a tumor.

A Wake Up Call? (1, Insightful)

femto (459605) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861073)

Remember that everyone is a potential dead person. Live your life as if you are going to be dead tomorrow.

Re:A Wake Up Call? (1)

juuri (7678) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861160)

That is a horrible way to live.

If you live everyday like it is your last you will have never prepared for the future. Instead I think you would want to live everyday as "how you would like to be remembered if you were to die tomorrow".

last line (2, Interesting)

jeffehobbs (419930) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861077)


the last line of his memo:

PS: I'm sending this from my hospital bed using my 17-inch PowerBook and an Airport Express.

Note he stops just short of asserting it was the Airport Express that cured his cancer...

In all seriousness, any time anyone beats cancer it is Good News. Has there been any reports on how the cancer was caught so quickly?

~jeff

Whaaa!! (1, Funny)

krel (588588) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861092)

Holy shit! My heart nearly stopped when I read the headline! STEVE is the glue that holds the world together; if He were to (somehow?) die, everything man ever created, everything that has ever been important to the entirety of the human race would be instantly, violently destroyed!
STEVE is much more than a feeble that He is. STEVE is literally everything, and thus everything is STEVE. If STEVE were to be undone, so would all of creation.
Which ever doctor banished that satanic tumor deserves an annual day of celebration.

Market Share (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861094)

It figures that if Jobs is going to have pancreatic cancer, that he'd only get the rare type with 1% market share.

Pancreatic? Yikes. (1)

davidbrit2 (775091) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861100)

I remember hearing on a radio program (yes, I actually listen to AM) that pancreatic cancer is one of the deadlier types if gone unnoticed for a while. Lucky they caught it in time, I guess.

Re:Pancreatic? Yikes. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861136)

If he does have pancreatic cancer, then it is highly unlikely that he'll live to see 2006. Pancreatic is one of the worst. It killed all of President Jimmy Carter's brothers and sisters. You don't live long with this kind of cancer. Jobs could well be dead by next springtime.

Hang in there, Steve (3, Insightful)

nordicfrost (118437) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861103)

All competition put aside, the modern IT world wouldn't be the same without you. If you hadn't dragged Apple kicking and screaming into the new millennium, who would have given Microsoft a run for its money (until Linux on the desktop comes)?

As a child of a twice cancer survivour, I wish all of your family well, I know they are praying for you (Even if they aren't religious).

Keynote (1)

dreamer8815 (757752) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861105)

Does this mean that Steve is going to miss the Apple expo keynote in Paris on Augest 31? But how cool would it be if he did the whole thing useing iChat AV.

Here's an ASCII surgery diagram: (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861109)

THEY WENT IN THRU TEH ANUS!!!1 NOW STRETCH IT WIDE, STEVE, SO THE DOCTORS CAN REMOVE THE DISEASE FROM YOUR GUT!

*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_
g_______________________________________________g_ _
o_/_____\_____________\____________/____\_______o_ _
a|_______|_____________\__________|______|______a_ _
t|_______`._____________|_________|_______:_____t_ _
s`________|_____________|________\|_______|_____s_ _
e_\_______|_/_______/__\\\___--___\\_______:____e_ _
x__\______\/____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|____x_ _
*___\______\_-~____________________~-_\____|____*_ _
g____\______\_________.--------.______\|___|____g_ _
o______\_____\______//_________(_(__>__\___|____o_ _
a_______\___.__C____)_________(_(____>__|__/____a_ _
t_______/\_|___C_____)/______\_(_____>__|_/_____t_ _
s______/_/\|___C_____)STEVE'S|__(___>___/__\____s_ _
e_____|___(____C_____)\CANCER/__//__/_/_____\___e_ _
x_____|____\__|_____\\_________//_(__/_______|__x_ _
*____|_\____\____)___`----___--'_____________|__*_ _
g____|__\______________\_______/____________/_|_g_ _
o___|______________/____|_____|__\____________|_o_ _
a___|_____________|____/_______\__\___________|_a_ _
t___|__________/_/____|_________|__\___________|t_ _
s___|_________/_/______\__/\___/____|__________|s_ _
e__|_________/_/________|____|_______|_________|e_ _
x__|__________|_________|____|_______|_________|x_ _
*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_


Important Stuff: Please try to keep posts on topic. Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads. Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) If you want replies to your comments sent to you, consider logging in or creating an account.

Important Stuff: Please try to keep posts on topic. Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads. Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) If you want replies to your comments sent to you, consider logging in or creating an account.

Important Stuff: Please try to keep posts on topic. Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads. Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) If you want replies to your comments sent to you, consider logging in or creating an account.

Steve Jobs is dying (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861116)

Sad news. Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs is dying of pancreatic cancer. According to a hospital spokesman, this is one of the most devastating forms of cancer, with survival after diagnosis usually limited to one year at most. Even if you don't like homosexual computers and one button mice, there's no denying Steve "Rim" Jobs was an American icon. He will be missed.

rumor sites (4, Funny)

SuperBanana (662181) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861127)

Reuters reports that doctors successfully removed a cancerous tumor from the pancreas of Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

Thus dispelling rumors circulating for days (on MacOSRumors et al) that Steve was:

  • Getting his penis enlarged
  • undergoing liposuction
  • having a gender-change operation (both sexes, for compatibility)
  • having breast implants installed

....and of course, various other unsubstantiated rumors not worth mentioning (everyone figured out the bionic legs were bogus right away).

Stuff that matters? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861128)

How does this news matter?

get well soon!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861137)

When I read "Steve Jobs" and "Cancer" in the same sentence, I saw my life flash before my eyes... yow... without that man, the computer industry ceases to exist.

Yeah that seems a little selfish, but come on, none of us know him personally, but we know what he's done.

So get well soon Steve, and don't leave us just yet!

And did you see his p.s.? (1)

zo219 (667409) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861138)


"PS: I'm sending this from my hospital bed using my 17-inch PowerBook and an Airport Express."

What a guy.

Get well soon - We still need the iTablet/PDA!

Jobs really died... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#9861140)

and they replaced him with a robot.

hmm... (1)

jx100 (453615) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861143)

PS: I'm sending this from my hospital bed using my 17-inch PowerBook and an Airport Express.

Are you allowed to use Wi-Fi in a hospital? Wouldn't it mess up some of the other electronics?

Reality Distortion Field fooled the (1)

MMHere (145618) | more than 9 years ago | (#9861157)

In close proximity to the Jobs Reality Distortion Field, the cancerous mass forgot what it had originally intended to do, and did what Steve required instead:

Allowed itself to become one of the rarer types (less threatening if found early), then went ahead and got itself found early. ("You don't need to harm me... Move along..." -- Jedi Mind Trick.)

Seriously, as others have said, get well soon Steve!
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