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Television Media

More On Shatner's Possible Return To Trek 481

Tycoon Guy writes "Is that the sound of desperation I hear? TrekToday is reporting that, according to a trailer shown at CBS Television City, William Shatner will be appearing on Star Trek: Enterprise for a two-episode guest stint - as James T. Kirk! The most likely writers of his episodes are Trek novelists Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens, who already resurrected Kirk in their books, and were just hired as story editors for Enterprise's fourth season." We reported a rumor to this effect a couple of months back.
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More On Shatner's Possible Return To Trek

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  • by JPelorat ( 5320 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:23PM (#9921503)
    KHAAAAAN!!
  • by l33t-gu3lph1t3 ( 567059 ) <arch_angel16.hotmail@com> on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:24PM (#9921504) Homepage
    Let's just all hope that Kirk doesn't go back to old habits, rip his shirt off, and fight a guy in a rubber suit...*shudders*
  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:24PM (#9921506)
    Star Trek Enterprise: The Original Series
    Where Kirk must defeat the Time Travel dudes to once again save the earth... FROM THEMSELVES!

    Or something equally as peposterous.
  • by khasim ( 1285 ) <brandioch.conner@gmail.com> on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:24PM (#9921513)
    you can always fall back on guest appearances from characters from shows that had good writers.

    This is just sad.
    • by eddy ( 18759 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:28PM (#9921567) Homepage Journal

      "Brent Spiner Will Reportedly Appear On Enterprise. Marina Sirtis spilled the beans at a convention in Dallas that Spiner will appear in three episodes playing the grandfather of Data's creator, Dr. Noonien Soong." -- TVTome [tvtome.com]

      • by khasim ( 1285 ) <brandioch.conner@gmail.com> on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:46PM (#9921746)
        All your favourite characters!

        Kirk!
        Data!
        Quark's mother!
        The guy in the red shirt that got eaten by the monster on that planet they were trapped on!
        We even have a special appearance by a cartoon Kzinti!
        And Captain Janeway!

        All the best from every Star Trek series, movie and cartoon EVER produced!

        See Captain Kirk battle the Obsidian Order to save Beverly Crusher!
        • What about Clint Howard?
        • by b0r0din ( 304712 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:14PM (#9922033)
          Tribbles take over the Enterprise! Again!

          The vulcan chick's breasts start expanding for no apparent reason, and the Enterprise is helpless to stop them!

          Watch as Gene Roddenbury spins over and over in his grave and is then resurrected like in Star Trek IV!

          Watch as Berman tries to save a hopelessly bad space opera which has lost all continuity and has turned into an ugly parody of science fiction!

          Personally, I'd rather watch Star Trek: Borg, where you watch as the Borg take over the rest of the planets. I can see it now. "These are the voyages of Borg Cube #200345. It's mission: To explore strange new worlds...to seek out new life, and new civilizations...to annihilate them and steal their technology...to boldly destroy what no man has destroyed before. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." *Cue music*
          • by pjdepasq ( 214609 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @03:50PM (#9923003)
            How about a show that just explores life on earth in the 'utopian' society ST created? What's life like for everyone else on the ground? What about a CSI or NYPD Blue type of show set in the ST world. We get to see life in the future and see something like a cop show, etc.

            Jesus, even I can be more original than some of their "writers".

            Plus, what is Kirk going to do? Come back in time as an old man (as he is now) and tell the first enterprise to do this and that? Or will they have him play Kirk's great great grandfather?

            • I agree. Why do we always have to see things from the Starfleet point of view? Doesn't anything interesting ever happen in the ST universe that doesn't involve Starfleet?

              Not that I think the ST writers would do any better at, say, a legal drama ... "Your honour, I object on the grounds that my client just disappeared into a polaron-induced wormhole." "Bailiff, rotate phase by 90 degrees and fire on that mysterious entity! Bench to sickbay, medical emergency ... and somebody get the courtroom engineer up her

    • by TopShelf ( 92521 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:52PM (#9921804) Homepage Journal
      It's the time-honored practice of many TV, shows, so really this isn't surprising. Kinda like when the Fonz used to show up on Laverne & Shirley, right?
    • 10) Drop rumors here and there that N'Sync will guest star as plasma-sword wielding space knights.
      9) Show more science officer cleavage.
      8) Invert the bullshition particle field and modulate it to 5.69 isohertz!
      7) Wait until Paramount is 5 minutes plus a commercial break suspense builder away from canceling the show, and present a contrived and not so suprising solution.
      6) Start selling pieces of Deforest Kelly's mummified flesh as souvenirs to the faithful.
      5) Show more science officer cleavage!
      4) Wait for JMS to pitch another scifi show concept, and then blatantly steal it after the lawyers have lawsuit-proofed the theft.
      3) Hide Riker's razor!
      2) Holodeck brothels.

      And the number one way to save the Star Trek franchise is....

      (drum roll)

      Buy the new 6th edition Formula TV Plots for Dummies!
  • by bje2 ( 533276 ) * on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:24PM (#9921520)
    and here's the link [yahoo.com] with the exclusive reason of why Shatner is returning for a guest appearance...
  • by MrLint ( 519792 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:24PM (#9921528) Journal
    I wonder if shatner got paramount a good priceline price on the time warp to send Kirk back into the past.
    • I wonder if shatner got paramount a good priceline price on the time warp to send Kirk back into the past.

      Well, madness takes it's toll.

      --
      Evan "Lord knows the man has voyeuristic intentions"

  • Yeah right (Score:5, Funny)

    by timealterer ( 772638 ) <{moc.emitgniretla} {ta} {todhsals}> on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:25PM (#9921534) Homepage
    The sheer number of times he's suggested he'll never do any more Star Trek is starting to make me think he just says it to up the price he gets the next time he does it.
  • Theme... (Score:4, Informative)

    by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:25PM (#9921536) Homepage Journal
    They should open with the Star Trekkin theme by The Firm.

    More entertaining Trek stuff can be found here [stonetrek.com], though they have some bandwidth limitations and it requiresflash. You may check for StoneTrek here, too. [campchaos.com]

  • Bones (Score:5, Funny)

    by paul248 ( 536459 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:25PM (#9921537) Homepage
    Now they just have to put McCoy on with him... "I'm dead, Jim."
    • When they have guest appearances from a character who hasn't been born yet, and which would require yet-another-time-loop in the plot:

      "The franchise is dead, Jim!"

    • Re:Bones (Score:3, Funny)

      by Enonu ( 129798 )
      Or maybe Rick James doing bones, "God damn it Jim, I'm doctor, not the king of funk, bitch."
  • by JohnGrahamCumming ( 684871 ) * <slashdotNO@SPAMjgc.org> on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:25PM (#9921540) Homepage Journal
    Just so long as they also bring back the mini-skirted 1960s era women whose job was to have Kirk fall in love with them. And make sure that they have too much make-up on and for some reason get to hang around the bridge even though they don't work there.

    John.

  • by gowen ( 141411 ) <gwowen@gmail.com> on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:25PM (#9921541) Homepage Journal
    Make your voice known [bringbackkirk.com], as hopefully a return will prevent him releasing any more terrible cover versions [shoutfactory.com] of good songs.
  • by Faust7 ( 314817 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:26PM (#9921546) Homepage
    Man, unless he's time-traveling back, it'll be damn hard to make him look like the feisty young thing of the '60s.

    They'll have to slather him with makeup and airbrush half of him out of the frames.
  • by MortisUmbra ( 569191 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:29PM (#9921570)
    To date my absolute favorite episode of Deep Space 9 was the Trials and Tribbleations episode, now, granted, they spliced them into an old TOS episode, but still. :)
  • by syrinje ( 781614 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:29PM (#9921572)
    Whether he will be featured in this new movie as the dashing, libidinous Kirk of the golden years (c'mon how difficult is it to contrive a story plot that zips through a time-warp?), or an old aging over-the-hill suited brass-hat admiral, Digital Kirk is probably a better choice than a Shatner-Kirk.

    The flexibility and dynamic range that this affords the director will make for a better movie.

    Now all we need is for someone to take hit Al Pacino over the head, steal his copy of Simpone and adapt :)

    • The irony is that his stilted speech patterns probably make it much easier to digitally reconstruct dialog.
    • I've often wondered what would happen if an audience was shown a movie that mixed live actors and CG humans without being told which of the characters were CG. Given today's graphics technology, would they still be able to determine who was real and who was not? Or what if they weren't even given a reason to think anyone was CG in the first place? How many people would realize what was going on if they weren't consciously looking for clues? What would this do to the uncanny valley effect?

      I went through t
  • Lame (Score:5, Funny)

    by iamdrscience ( 541136 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:29PM (#9921574) Homepage
    Nuts to Kirk, bring back Welshie!
  • Straight up... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Aerog ( 324274 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:31PM (#9921586) Homepage
    I'm looking forward to this. Why? Well, Enterprise isn't that bad. In fact, I quite enjoy watching it. Just take everything for face value and sit back. It can be pretty good when you give it a chance.

    Next, we have William Shatner; one of the people who is now simply famous for being/playing himself (Christopher Walken, Adam West, Leonard Nimoy, Ron Jeremy, etc.)

    I can see nothing bad coming from this. It could be really good and well written. Or, it could be cheesy, and I think I'd like it more in that case. Either way, between that and Corner Gas, I'm going to be quite entertained this season....
    • Re:Straight up... (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Mike Van Pelt ( 32582 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:22PM (#9922112)
      I've kind of liked "Enterprise", too. They have had a few episodes that have plumbed the depths of putridity ("A Night Wasted in Sick Bay") but then, so did the original. ("Spock's Brain"? "And the Children Shall Lead"?) It's been mostly OK. Alas, it hasn't reached the heights that original Trek did, either, but some of the third season has been pretty good.

      But when I saw that Nazi alien in the season-ender, I had this feeling.... "Is that Captain Sam Beckett on a motorcycle? In the air? Is that a shark in a tank underneath him? Is he mutting 'Oh, boy'?"

      I don't see how they can bring James T. Kirk back with anything resembling any sense. If they didn't jump the shark already, this likely will do it.

      Would that there was some way to rewind back to the beginning of the series and start over from scratch, and add two absolute, inflexible, never-to-be-violated Commandments:

      I: Thou Shalt Not Time Travel. Never. Ever. There is no such thing. It does not exist. It shall never be mentioned as a possibility.

      II: Thou Shalt Not Ride The Transporter. Ideally, the transporter should not have been invented yet. Possibly, it exists as only a cargo-transport device, people are scared of it, and *no one* is willing to ride it. McCoy had an old-fashioned dislike of the transporter; maybe here we could see the fashionable thinking that became old in Kirk's time: The transporter destroys you utterly and makes a copy elsewhere. This is a Bad Thing.
  • Lame (Score:3, Insightful)

    by stratjakt ( 596332 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:31PM (#9921588) Journal
    So Enterprise takes place, what a couple centuries before TOS, so somehow old fat Elvis^h^h^hKirk travels back in time to join the crew?

    The lamest thing in Star Trek is the sloppy way they throw time travel in as a weak plot device to jam characters from the campy old 60s show into the modern ones. The TNG episodes with old timey characters: a 400 year old Bones, a Scotty who'd been stuck in a transporter beam for centuries, Spock - a vulcan who lives for centuries, shows up and even though physiologically he shouldnt be that much older, he looks like King Tut's corpse.

    I guess it would be too much work to try and make Enterprise a genuinely interesting show. I'm sure the "James T Kirk appears on a very special Enterprise" promos will spike their ratings a point or two for the first half of the episode, then people tune out after realizing that the show just plain stinks.

    Maybe Shatner will kill this crappy show. Perhaps Scott Bakula will mysteriously turn up floating face-down in a swimming pool.
    • Such is the problem with hollywierd insisting on catering to a thematically challenged (US) populace that can't stand to see heroes die, that can't stand to live thru forced/regular ensemble changes. I find it refreshing that some European programming (not necessarily all, but some) change the characters out.

      In a real navy (well, at least in the USN, surface ships), crew members rotate. In SOME billets, personnel might remain at a command (as specific ship or base, not referring to being "in command") for
  • Comment removed (Score:5, Interesting)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:31PM (#9921590)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • by Optical Voodoo Man ( 611836 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:31PM (#9921594)
    How can expect that poor old man to save Enterprise when he couldn't even float Iron Chef USA? "Today's theme ingredient is... TIME TRAVEL"
  • Time line... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by MisanthropicProgram ( 763655 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:32PM (#9921602)
    How do you folks calculate the timeline? If "Enterprise" is 100 years before "Star Trek", then how would it work? Time travel?? Wesley Crusher, having been with Cpt. Kirk on "Weakest Link" decided to take him back in time ....

    Oh, shit, you can fill in the blanks with your own imagination...

  • by jjh37997 ( 456473 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:34PM (#9921627) Homepage
    Man, unless he's time-traveling back, it'll be damn hard to make him look like the feisty young thing of the '60s.
    They'll have to slather him with makeup and airbrush half of him out of the frames.

    Maybe they can do the same thing they did for the guy in Lord of the Rings who played Gollum. Have Shatner on the set acting with all the other characters and then CGI an image of how he looked back in the 60's on top. Like a virtual face lift.
  • Awesome (Score:5, Funny)

    by c0dedude ( 587568 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:35PM (#9921632)
    Reminds me of this quote from bash.org:
    <studmuffn> ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
    <studmuffn> it was cool. patrick stewart was there
    <studmuffn> they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness in the 24th century
    Brilliant!
  • by spidergoat2 ( 715962 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:36PM (#9921642) Journal
    First, he was more interesting and more fun on The Practice as Denny Craine. The Enterprise should go back and meet Denny. Second, they should use the animated Kirk from the cartoon series. That Kirk was a better actor.
  • by GlassUser ( 190787 ) <slashdot@glassuG ... r.net minus poet> on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:36PM (#9921646) Homepage Journal
    It's been a long time since I've actually groaned aloud from reading a slashdot headline. Eh, thanks I guess.
  • by Kenja ( 541830 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:37PM (#9921656)
    Captians Log: "Had trouble sleeping last night; my hiatal hernia is acting up. The ship is drafty and damp. I complain, but nobody listens."
  • That's nice, but (Score:3, Insightful)

    by M. Baranczak ( 726671 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:37PM (#9921665)
    I'm still waiting for a sequel to Shatner's early masterpiece "Incubus." [incubusthefilm.com]

    "Mysteria... profunde... amor!"
  • by ewhac ( 5844 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:38PM (#9921671) Homepage Journal

    Don't get me wrong; I think Shatner has entered his period of self-parody very gracefully (the latest Priceline commercials are really cute). But to re-enter the role of Kirk means playing it straight, and I just don't think he can pull that off anymore.

    But more importantly, I think it shows just how creatively bankrupt Star Trek has gotten under Berman's watch. I lost interest in DS9 at about season two, watched perhaps half a dozen episodes of Voyager, and saw Enterprise's pilot, but that's about it. Maybe I'm getting old and crochety, but there's just no sense of wonder there anymore.

    Schwab

    • by Maestro4k ( 707634 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:01PM (#9921905) Journal
      • But more importantly, I think it shows just how creatively bankrupt Star Trek has gotten under Berman's watch. I lost interest in DS9 at about season two, watched perhaps half a dozen episodes of Voyager, and saw Enterprise's pilot, but that's about it. Maybe I'm getting old and crochety, but there's just no sense of wonder there anymore.
      I agree with you mostly but you might want to check out the 3rd season of Enterprise if you haven't. Having the main storyline continuing through the entire season really made a difference, and it was nice to see things like the ship getting damaged (heavily) and the damage not magically being repaired the next episode. As a matter of fact the ship looks like only the strutural integrity field is holding it together at the end. Things got pretty intense there at the end too. It was far and away the best episodes of the series so far. Maybe they're finally getting back on track a bit.

      As for the Shatner coming back as Kirk thing, I suspect it will be either 1.) He's not really goign to be Kirk but an ancestor as someone else suggested or 2.) We will get another glimpse of the future through Daniels and that's where Kirk will show up. He'll be in his proper time period so no continuity hijinx.

    • But more importantly, I think it shows just how creatively bankrupt Star Trek has gotten under Berman's watch.

      Amen. I made it through Part I of the Enterprise pilot but couldn't stomache watching any more of it. To me the original series is canon. Period. Until Berman either A) realizes it or B) leaves the helm; the entire universe will continue to suffer.

      The Star Trek universe was amazingly constructed by Roddenberry. It allowed for the exploration of countless topics through the lens of thousand

  • by DanielMarkham ( 765899 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:42PM (#9921710) Homepage
    He's got to be in his 60s, right? I wonder what they would do if they made all these big announcements and suddenly his health took a bad turn? How do series deal with signing really old actors, anyway?

    And sign me up for CGI kirk with Shatner doing the voice-overs. I don't think I have the stomach (or maybe he has too much of one) to see Bill jumping around the stage with a ripped shirt fighting some rubber lizard over a great-looking woman.

    Heck -- just get rid of all of them except the great-looking women. We could do a new show, sort of a cross between Baywatch and Trek. Something like "Nebula-Watch"
  • by cjpez ( 148000 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:44PM (#9921733) Homepage Journal
    ... his return will involve a wormhole, travelling back through time, the Borg, and a holodeck malfunction (er, after travelling *forward* through time first, of course).
  • by MORTAR_COMBAT! ( 589963 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:47PM (#9921756)
    (... the ... longest ... pregnant ... pause ... in ... history ...)

    back.
  • by Tibor the Hun ( 143056 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:48PM (#9921766)
    A couple of episodes of Kirk wouldn't mean that much for the franchise, and here's why:

    Kirk wasn't the best captain. Piccard was. As a matter of fact, the original show was good not because of Kirk, but because of the chemistry of the crew: Bones (what kind of nickname is that anyway?) was an alcoholic. You can see that from the way his eyes were always watery. Scotty was probably the only one in his family that finished college, and the rest of the crew was great too.

    The next generation had horrible, boring and pollitically correct crewmates, and a kickass captain. (Q and borg were good too)
    (You'd better believe that when Piccard would say "Fire at Will!" I'd be the first one to unload a clip into that John Tesh-liking bearded wimp.)

    Voyager had 7of9, DS9 had a story, and Enterprise has hmm... not sure yet.

    So in conclusion, I believe that it's the characters and their chemistry that makes the show, not any one individual or the wacky situations they're put in. A couple of shots of Kirk are too little, too late.

  • Time Travel explots (Score:5, Interesting)

    by bokmann ( 323771 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:50PM (#9921785) Homepage
    Why not? The whole series is based on an F'ed up time travel story... They can do anything they want now, and always press the cosmic reset button. Enterprise has no credibility - the only way to redeem it at this point would be to have the series end with a small child reading a book, and at the end we come to find out it is 23rd century fiction about the 'past', and the person reading it is a young James T. Kirk. The story would be the childhood inspiration he had to become a starfleet officer.

    Better yet, how about we get Fred Savage to play a father reading the book out loud to his son... the series can then alternate between Enterprise clips, and the son interrupting him with things like, "Eww... not that kissing stuff again", ala Princess Bride.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 09, 2004 @01:54PM (#9921822)
    His mission to return Shatner to Trek finally complete, Dr. Sam Beckett leaps out of Captain Archer's body...
  • by Eric_Cartman_South_P ( 594330 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:03PM (#9921930)
    This ...BUFFERING... can't be ...BUFFERING... the entire Away Team ...BUFFERING... gone ...BUFFERING... in a flash ...BUFFERING...
  • by Infonaut ( 96956 ) <infonaut@gmail.com> on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:05PM (#9921943) Homepage Journal
    it's time to KNIFE THE BABY.

    Star Trek is a classic example of something that was good, but has been rehashed so many times that it's all tapped out. The mine is spent. The well is dry. Star Trek has died on the vine.

    I can't think of any more rediculous ways of saying it. Star Trek must die, for the good of Star Trek. Let it die. Let someone new pick it up again in a decade. End the madness now!

  • Its official... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by CrazyTalk ( 662055 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:33PM (#9922209)
    If it wasn't already. The shark has officially been jumped on that show.
    • The shark has officially been jumped on that show.

      Actually, the shark traveled back in time to jump over its younger self. Ironically, the two sharks saw eachother, and the Enterprise universe spontaneously cancelled itself.

  • by Theovon ( 109752 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:34PM (#9922222)
    Let's think about it. Kirk from the time of Enterprise is either not born yet or rather young. Shatner is in his 60's or 70's or something. He's old. So, if Shatner, the old guy, is to appear as Kirk on Enterprise, either Kirk has to travel back in time from the point when he's either admiral the second time or ambassador or something, or Archer's got to travel forward in time, which has been done to death.

    The only reason I want to watch is to find out if they can manage some really clever way to make it not suck.
  • by macserv ( 701681 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @02:55PM (#9922374)
    The only reason Guinan's "echo" gave for not leaving, when Picard asked her to come back, was that she "was already there". Kirk's not. He died (with the stupidest last words EVER: "Oh my." WTF). He could come out again, presumably leaving another echo behind. And since The Nexus transcends time, Enterprise could just happen to come upon it.

    Nice. Intergalactic, soul-duplicating Xerox machine for resurrecting characters at will. Oh, look! Somehow, Khan got in the Nexus too! ROUND 3: FIGHT!

    • If you look at the entire thesis of the Kirk character you will find that his main mode of operation and motivation is to bend the rules of the game in order to triumph over the evil of the moment. Whether it be the modification to the programming of the Kobashi Maru test, or the bluff played in the corbomite maneuver [ericweisstein.com] when the deck was stacked against him, Kirk always bluffed and cheated death throughout his whole career. This is in fact evidenced in the whole entry into the Nexus. His most certain deat
  • by TheTick ( 27208 ) on Monday August 09, 2004 @04:45PM (#9923560) Homepage Journal

    From memepool: Bring Back Kirk! [bringbackkirk.com]

    Between what's happened to Star Trek and Star Wars over the last decade or so, my childhood lies in tattered ruins...

  • by anser ( 224618 ) * on Monday August 09, 2004 @05:50PM (#9924297) Homepage
    It's obvious how Kirk meets the ST:Enterprise crew.

    After his retirement from Starfleet, Kirk exploits his Galaxy-wide fame by appearing as a spokesman for PRICETIME, the new commercial venture set up to exploit the dozen or so different time-travel mechanisms Trek has come up with. "Name Your Own Stardate" becomes an irresistible slogan.

    Unfortunately, while shooting a PriceTime ad on location in the past, Kirk's film crew is ambushed and nearly wiped out by a team from PriceTime's fierce competitor, KHANPEDIA. Only Kirk survives, marooned on the World of Suzie Wong. His teeth chattering amid the plastic snow and rubber rocks, the delirious Kirk mutters "Kirk to Enterprise" which is miraculously picked up by the prequel vessel cruising nearby.

    This episode, "Margin of Promise," is the highest rated of the season, losing only to CRANK YANKERS and a TBS rerun of "The Cable Guy."

E = MC ** 2 +- 3db

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