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SCO Linux Licenses Could Increase In Price

simoniker posted more than 10 years ago | from the hint-hint dept.

Caldera 305

prostoalex writes "ZDNet UK says that, while SCO Group's legal department took a timeout from generating new lawsuits, their Linux license prices might be increased. 'Companies that license now may be able to do so cheaper than if they do so later,' [Blake] Stowell said. In the upcoming financials call, SCO expects to announce 6-figure revenue from its SCOSource division."

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Oh no! (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944274)

I haven't bought mine yet! I better rush out while they're still priced reasonably.

Re:Oh no! (5, Funny)

OrthodonticJake (624565) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944291)

You know, I was just thinking about switching to a free OS. It's a good thing that this was on slashdot or I would have ended up paying more than I needed to.

Re:Oh no! (4, Funny)

stefanlasiewski (63134) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944300)

Just make sure you put it on the P2P networks so that we can get through Linux's nagware screens! My copy of Linux is a 30-day evaluation copy and it's about to shut down!

har har har...

Re:Oh no! (4, Funny)

ethzer0 (603146) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944315)

Don't stress yourself, simply pay the difference in monopoly money, like the first time...

Re:Oh no! (-1, Redundant)

geekanarchy (769840) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944339)

You might want to hold off on buying that licence. Seriously, what good is a licence from a company that will be bankrupt in a few years from multicast litigation?

Re:Oh no! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944353)

Ever heard of sarcasm, vagenius?

Re:Oh no! (2, Informative)

tonyr60 (32153) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944462)

"Seriously, what good is a licence from a company that will be bankrupt in a few years from multicast litigation?"

It is likely that the license would survive such a bankruptcy. In the event of SCO going belly up uts assetts would be sold off, including any Intellectual property it may own. The purchaser (which could be Microsoft, Dell, IBM, whoever) would continue to own the licensing rights.

None of the above should be interpreted to mean that I think that that SCO has any intellectual property of value, or that it hold the right to license *unix or anything else.

Re:Oh no! (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944363)

So if SCO lose the case, will they reimburse the people who bought the "license".

Keep it down baby!!!
woohooo

Re:Oh no! (5, Insightful)

danamania (540950) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944419)

If SCO and Rob Enderle aren't outright lying (!) then they hint that they're not going after smaller users.

From Rob's keynote [sco.com] at SCOForum 2004, he states: "Now I hear from the Linux folks that it is SCO that is the bad guy here taking away the rights of those that worked hard to contribute to Linux and to that I say Bull Shit. SCO, unlike the RIAA which is targeting kids, is going after large well funded companies who are perfectly able to take care of themselves. In all cases the firms being challenged have more resources and are larger than SCO. If there is one thing firms like Daimler Chrysler don't need is a bunch of "hang'em high" bigots who think of themselves as judge, jury, and executioner."

So it comes down to - do you believe Rob Enderle, that SCO is only going after the big companies, and isn't like the RIAA and targeting kids..?

Re:Oh no! (5, Funny)

superpulpsicle (533373) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944535)

Uh yes, we were in a meeting and someone pointed out that we should try SCO linux. The whole room started laughing. Boy, last time I lol to tears was watching some rerun of Naked Gun 2.

Re:Oh no! (3, Interesting)

SourKAT (589785) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944457)

That's supply and demand for you! ... oh wait, too much supply, no demand ... WTF kind of economics is this?

SCO LIX BUTTZ OMG LOL (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944275)

WTF OMG BBQ ROFLcopters!!!!!11one

fp (-1, Offtopic)

FosterKanig (645454) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944276)

this new rule sucks balls

Cheaper... (5, Informative)

IronMagnus (777535) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944279)

Wouldn't it be cheaper to just not by a license at all?

Re:Cheaper... (4, Funny)

lukewarmfusion (726141) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944461)

Depends on what the software is... you don't want the BSA Copyright Weasel to get you.

It makes sense... (4, Insightful)

TheWart (700842) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944281)

I mean, if they have sold 2 licenses at $700 a license, but upping it to say, oh, $1400 (nice ring to it :)) a license, they can *double* their revenue with no higher operating costs!!

At least that is how SCO probably is seeing it through the haze of their pipe dream.

Re:It makes sense... (1)

Pharmboy (216950) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944311)

All I know is, I'm gonna hurry up and get a bunch of licenses now, before the price goes up...

Re:It makes sense... (5, Funny)

sevenofnine (617237) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944408)

I have been toying with buying $700 worth of monopoly games, taking the money from them and sending the m-money in a box to sco asking for a license :)
To bad i don't have the cash flow for this at the moment...

Yes, they did say six figures (4, Funny)

leonbrooks (8043) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944482)

$1400.00, now count the digits...
$1234.56

IW4M.

In other news... (-1, Offtopic)

HungWeiLo (250320) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944283)

The 2006 Ford Focus 5-spd with roll-up windows and AM/FM radio will be selling with an increased pricetag of $25,000.

Re:In other news... (1)

Konowl (223655) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944381)

Why, is the ABS module propogated with SCO software?

cost increase (1)

weorthe (666189) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944284)

Don't worry, Bill can afford it.

Re:cost increase (0, Offtopic)

Stevyn (691306) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944380)

I'm sorry, but what in the world is that supposed to mean? I really don't get this joke.

Re:cost increase (3, Informative)

RKBA (622932) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944438)

"I really don't get this joke."

Microsoft purchased a license from SCO early on, ostensibly because they have some sort of Unix interfacing or development tools that run on Windows.

Re:cost increase (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944458)

Didn't somebody from Microsoft say, a few days ago, that they had a number of servers running Linux?

Gee, I sure hope they're running fully legit licensed copies! It would be very damaging to their image to be caught running unlicensed software! And I'm sure Darl would pay some 6th grader to scratch Bill's car paintjob... ;-)

"Six Figures" is just $ from an old deal! (5, Informative)

DiscoBobby (196458) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944286)

I think the only reason that SCO will be able to announce 6-figure revenue for SCOSource is because this is the fiscal quarter that they'll book the revenue from the EV1 scam - the first and to my knowledge ONLY large deal (other than the war-chest they got from Microsoft) they've ever closed.

If this is the case, this does NOT indicate new deals, this does NOT indicate a new revenue source, this does NOT mean that did a dime's worth of business in the last 3 months - it's just when the revenue from their only decent deal some time ago hit the books.

A quote from the SECOND quarter conference call (Darl speaking to Maureen O'Gara):

McBride: We had a few deals on the SCOsource side, Maureen. You know with last quarter we had announced a major deal with EV1. That is not part of the revenue stream that we're reporting in second quarter. That revenue will start to be accounted for in the quarter that we're currently in.

O'Gara: Sorry. The EV1 revenues will show up on this quarter?

McBride: Yes. They will start this quarter, and they'll be booked over multiple quarters going forward.

Now, within that conversation, Darl claims to have deals in the pipeline:

O'Gara: Well, we'll see how that .... Now, you forecast 10 to 12 this quarter, but that's mostly from the UNIX business, which ....

McBride: Yeah, until there's a stream of revenue that comes out of the SCOsource side, we're not going to get in the business of handicapping or projecting the forecast of it. You know, the pipeline that Bert is talking about that is healthy right now is not really part of that 10 to 12. Once we have more predictability, then we'll start to get projections on that.

Notice he hints "10 or 12", but I suspect all he got this time was money from EV1. Looking forward to the conference call to see if anybody challenges his smoke-and-mirrors show.

Re:"Six Figures" is just $ from an old deal! (4, Interesting)

nihilogos (87025) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944379)

I heard they were bundling an SCO source license in with their Unixware stuff. So they can count Unixware sales as SCO source as well.

Re:"Six Figures" is just $ from an old deal! (2, Insightful)

DiscoBobby (196458) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944425)

I think you're right, but how many Unixware sales can there possibly be? :)

Jokes aside, that is clearly a possible revenue stream to SCOSource, and would inflate the numbers. But then they're denting the margin of the "core UNIX business" they're pimping lately by assigning some of that $ from each Unixware sale to SCOSource rather than the software side (unless they increased the price of Unixware). You can't count that $ twice. Either way, it's still smoke-and-mirrors.

Re:"Six Figures" is just $ from an old deal! (2, Funny)

Veridium (752431) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944434)

When I read that "six figures", I figured two of them were to the right of the decimal point.

We all know SCO is going down and this... (-1, Troll)

rokzy (687636) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944287)

...is a desperate move, so why bother with this Troll/Flamebait article?

It's better than fiction ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944388)

I'm dying of curiosity to see what these guys will do next.

Somebody put a muzzle on Darl and his output has been quite limited. It used to be that he could spout first class fantasy every couple of days. Maybe his lawyers told him to shut up or they would quit working for him. Or maybe somebody pointed out that he is just a slip of the lip from going to jail.

These guys are more creative than even Bill Clinton was when he denied having sex. I almost admire them.

SCO? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944290)

What, are they still around?

Re:SCO? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944447)

No, they are dead, it is just gas escaping their lungs.

in related news (4, Interesting)

spacerodent (790183) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944295)

I wonder how many figures their legal bill is. Somehow I suspect its a seven or eight figures at least.

Only works if people pay. (5, Insightful)

duslow (648755) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944297)

Yeah, but what if nobody pays for it. How do they expect to generate 6-figure revenue from nothing? They have to win their cases first, and that doesn't seem to be that likely.

Re:Only works if people pay. (4, Funny)

Ieshan (409693) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944478)

Easy! Just convert to base (whatever) and you can make your numbers have however many digits you want.

Considering they've already achieved it... (2, Insightful)

Lead Butthead (321013) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944498)

what SCOsource revenue they have now by EXTORTION, I say they're already generating revenue from nothing.

SCO (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944303)

BLAH BLAH BLAH..... ffs will this ever end?

Before we panic ... (3, Informative)

crimethinker (721591) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944304)

When I saw the mention of six figure revenue from SCOScam^H^H^Hource, I thought, oh shit, the FUD has been working. But then I remembered the EV1Servers deal. Didn't that happen too late to be counted on last quarter? Really, has anyone publicly stepped up and said, "SCO is right, and we're buying a license." I mean, since EV1 got slapped by the community for swallowing the BS hook, line, sinker, rod, and fisherman?

-paul

Re:Before we panic ... (5, Insightful)

stratjakt (596332) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944531)

Really, has anyone publicly stepped up and said, "SCO is right, and we're buying a license.

Publicly? No. How do you know what the millions of small to mid sized businesses may have done?

700 bucks isn't a lot of money to throw at a potential problem to go away. And if you run a business, it's probably not the right venue to make your moral stand on OSS. After all, you have a business to run, bills to pay, employees, etc..

Great... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944305)

So now this means that there's more money nobody's paying them. The good news is, current Linux users are paying even less. I mean if you used to pay 0 instead of $50, and now pay 0 instead of $100, that's practically the same as walking into the SCO offices and stealing 50 bucks!

Yeah, soon you'll have to buy the whole company (1)

LarryWest42 (220323) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944308)

...to get a Linux license. And who can afford to pick up all the liability they've accumulated in the last 16 months or so?

Speak of Copyright Weasels... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944309)

.. and out they come!

-1 Redundunt (2, Funny)

MrRuslan (767128) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944317)

I know it has been said before and i will say it again...WTF are these mother fuckers smoking...are they completly retarded or something???

Re:-1 Redundunt (1)

Stevyn (691306) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944412)

I don't know what they're smoking, but I hope they're using the linux kernel source code as rolling papers.

What!!!!!! (3, Funny)

vwjeff (709903) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944505)

WTF are these mother fuckers smoking...are they completly retarded or something???

How dare you ask that question. It should read as follows:

These guys are smoking dog shit...their mothers(I guess bastards can't have a mother) dropped them on their heads daily as small children.

Please don't ask questions. When you ask questions it appears that you don't have the answer.

Great line (5, Informative)

Kafka_Canada (106443) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944320)

"SCOsource is the Linux users' shakedown program. Apparently, no one is paying up. It took in $11,000 last quarter. That's not a typo. President and CEO Darl McBride paid more lip service to 'increasing shareholder value,' but you really have to wonder about the viability of his vision when his firm's most engrossing initiative brings in less money than the guys who mow lawns in my neighborhood."

--the Motley Fool [yahoo.com]

Re:Great line (5, Funny)

Kafka_Canada (106443) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944366)

This also, from a ComputerWorld interview [computerworld.com] with Darl McBride:

Q. In June, SCO reported that Unix licensing revenue through its SCOsource division totaled just $11,000 in the quarter that ended April 30 - a 99% drop-off from $8.25 million in the same quarter last year. What happened there?

A. In the day-to-day business, we have some speed bumps that come up from our [intellectual property] issues. In the previous quarter, we had several large licensing deals, but you can't repeat those every quarter. It's not really as brutal as people might expect.

**

-99% is a "SPEED BUMP"???? (4, Funny)

crimethinker (721591) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944515)

Revenue drops from $8,250,000 to $11,000 and that's a "speed bump"? Talk about cajones! Thankfully I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.

I think the financial world's penchant for integral numbers saved SCO a little face here: if you allow digits to the right of the decimal, it is actually a 99.87% drop in revenue. That's better than Ivory Soap and their "99 and 44/100th's pure" of yesteryear.

I guess SCO is gunning for a new meaning of "five-nines" - a 99.999% drop in revenue.

-paul

Re:Great line (1)

SpaceLifeForm (228190) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944537)

Speed bumps? Ok, that makes sense, they've stopped smoking crack and have started shooting up speed. Sucks when revenue is down and you can't afford the crack, eh Darl?

Bad news (4, Funny)

spellraiser (764337) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944321)

Looks like this guy [slashdot.org] is going to have to get a new account. Such a pity.

Why does Linux cost so much? (2, Funny)

Sheetrock (152993) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944323)

An associate told me that this was free software, but $699 sounds a bit steep for what looked to me like a hobbyist Mac OSX clone.

He said you can do all sorts of stuff with it, and I'd sure hope so for that price. :P You can buy a PC with WinXP Home from Dell for that.

Re:Why does Linux cost so much? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944420)

Thank god for OSX or we'd never have this graphical thing in Linux..

I take it your MAC buddy knows nothing about computers.

6 figure revenue (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944326)

The forgot to mention they included everything behind the decimal point, the decimal point itself AND the dollar sign in those 6 figures.

Re:6 figure revenue (1)

sik0fewl (561285) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944518)

No, they wouldn't be that low, it would be plain lying. Clearly they just added more extraneous 0's after the decimal place and a few more to pad the front.

Re:6 figure revenue (1)

JasonStiletto (653819) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944539)

didn't they announce that that was a 7 figure deal?

SCO is about to loose business credibility. (1)

icekillis (777986) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944327)

They are about to loose credibility in the biz world. The few companies that are willing to pay would accept the higher price, granted the company believes that they are using stolen linux code. Car insurance is car insurance, when one company has a monopoly I'm willing to pay any reasonable price for it. This is Basic Supply and Demand

Re:SCO is about to loose business credibility. (1)

icekillis (777986) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944364)

SCRATCH THAT. They have Already LOST credibility in the Biz World

10 shares of Google stock per CPU (4, Funny)

Sean Clifford (322444) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944329)

They've ditched the whole currency scheme - now it'll cost 10 shares of Google stock per CPU.

Six figures... (1)

coene (554338) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944330)

How many employees does SCO have working on this? I generated six figures in the last few by months selling mouse pads to users coming from ads on a single website... If investors consider the ability to generate revenue a test of your worth, SCO should be considered quite worthless.

Hey! Ho! SCO has got to GO! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944331)

Seriously, I CANNOT wait for IBM to put these corporate terrorists out of our misery.

So much for the US Gov't using open source (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944333)

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Billy." "And what is your question, Billy?" "I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kids that they will continue after recess. When they resume, George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve" "And what is your question, Steve?" "I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the heck happened to Billy?"

six-figure (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944334)

proper IT companies pay their boards in seven figures..

OS revenues are close to nil, and thus far SCOsource is damn near a bust.. Give or take some pocket change from Dollar Bill up in Redmond.

Dump while you can, 'cause the pumping isn't going to be good for much longer..

WOW, 6 figure income and they only... (1)

hurfy (735314) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944337)

... spend 7-8 figures on lawyers I guess thats one way to lose your figure ;p

What happens when (if - haha) SCO lose? (2)

hattig (47930) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944342)

I mean, that will mean all those licenses they have charged for will effectively have been fraudulent won't it? That's kinda illegal in most parts of the world, so what will SCO do? Refund everybody? haha right.

Everyone with a 6 figure income (1, Funny)

dtfinch (661405) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944348)

raise your hand.

Re:Everyone with a 6 figure income (4, Funny)

Tony Hoyle (11698) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944365)

$1000.00 last month.

Does that count?

Re:Everyone with a 6 figure income (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944387)

6 times 0 is still 0

all your base belong to us
bow before my mathematical might /me ducks

Re:Everyone with a 6 figure income (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944463)

I will raise my hand, as soon as the person who does it for me comes in for the day.

Uh, you poor people raise *your own* hands? Please.

Re:Everyone with a 6 figure income (1)

Bralkein (685733) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944475)

Haha, too damn right! I mean 6 figures may not be much for a major business, or even a minor one, I dunno, but jeez, think of what generated those 6 figures. Nothing but lies. SCO didn't even do anything except spread a load of bullshit and they rake in 6 figures! Not a lottery ticket in sight!

I guess it's the same kind of thing as those guys who sell the $100 beauty face cream that actually does nothing. The mind boggles.

Fascists (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944350)

In one of its numerous forgeries, CmdrTaco, cmdrtaco@slashdot.org, the
homosexual Romanian Slashdot administrator of "VA Software", lies:
>Everybody knows that I have written this, as I did with everything that
>comes from timothy, CowboyNeal, etc.
>
>If you can't see me, you can smell me - it's the shit I have instead of
>brains.

Actually the "long-haired forger" is telling the truth. Although the notorious
net.terrorist has managed in the past to put other users' names on his sleazy
forgeries, this time he was too stupid to futz with the article number to
cover up his filthy trace. This height of idiocy is not impressive for a
webmaster, even for a so severely mentally retarded one. Now everbody indeed
knows that he had written this. Nor does the fascist pervert from hell have
shit or anything else for brains. He is a Romanian, therefore, a totally
brainless, dickless, spineless, gutless asshole. Disgusting Romanian faggots
are full of shit in all the other places, but there's not even shit in their
craniums. But if a stupid Romanian can post forgeries, so can we the smart
Russians, and much better too.

It is obvious from the headers that the wily Romanian is responsible for this
and all the other smut and forgeries on Slashdot, as well as for cancelling
the BSD Is Dying/In Soviet Russia precious articles. But the Iron Guard
evasive tactics will not save him from swift retribution. A joint KGB / Secret
Service hit team has already been dispatched to the Ann Arbor all-male
whorehouse where the "long-haired prick" works and resides, with the orders to
chop off his testicles and deliver them to Moscow. Pickled in a glass jar,
they will decorate the GNAA prayer rug. That'll teach the deranged forger, if
the "Anally Injected Death Sentence" doesn't get him first. Let the filthy
queers eat shit and die from AIDS.

Until this "wet job" is done, the demented forger continues to pollute
Slashdot with his filthy mind's vaginal secretions, earning him the soubriqiet
"cunt for brains", together with the curse of monthly nasal bleedings. The
forger picks his nose and posts the findings to Slashdot. He bends the truth
over and forces his deviant sexual fantasies down innocent news readers'
throats. But the glorious Russian KGB will put an end to his obscene
perversions.

To defecate on this Romanian swine would be to give it more attention than it
deserves. We will instead defecate on all of Romania (paying especial
attention to the forger's ancestral graves), urinate on the forger (he'll
probably enjoy it), and fully expose him, his mother's cunt, and all other
Romanian swines for the subhuman mutants that they all are. Let them pack
their shit and go back to the zoo where they came from. That should be easy
for the "long-haired pervert", since he can hardly post anything to Slashdot
without a big Russian prick being up his ass.

For starters, and in response to the popular demand, here is the solution to
the "Intelligence Test" problems about the Official Romanian Fascist National
Insignia and Symbols, forged by the same "cmdrtaco@slashdot.org" on August
6th:

Official Romanian National Coat of Arms: Monkey Rimming Cossack's Ass
Official Romanian National Flower: Toilet Mildew
Official Romanian National Bird: Manure Fly
Official Romanian National Animal: Cockroach
Official Romanian National Food: Mamalyga (fermented polenta)
Official Romanian National Drink: Russian Sperm
Official Romanian National Sport: Sucking Big Russian Cocks
Official Romanian National Hobby: Pocket Billiards
Official Romanian National Art Form: Public Masturbation on Slashdot

The prejudice against and contempt of Romanian fascists so universally
expressed by Russians, Ukrainians, Poles, Jews, Gypsies, Hungarians,
Bulgarians, Serbs, Croats, Bosnians, Greeks, Albanians, Turks, Gagauzes, and
everyone else who comes in contact with the "scum of the Balkans" is
attributable to the origins of the Romanians. They are a nation of slaves,
whose ancestors were the perverts, criminals, and degenerates exciled to this
"shithole of Europe" from all corners of the Roman empire, and subsequently
bred for stupidity by the Turks, using Michurin-style artificial selection.
For centuries, the smarter Romanian fascists (mutations?) converted to Islam
and became Turkicized, while the dumbest ones remained Romanian and (in)bred
like cockroaches. Even Romanian Gypsies are less intelligent and more prone to
steal then non-Romanian Gypsies. In fact, the Romanians don't deserve to be
called a "nation of slaves" --- they are a just cattle herd of idiots, fit to
be ruled only by the likes of Vlad Tepes and Nikolai Chaushesku. The Ann Arbor
forger, in particular, is clearly the descendant of no less than seven
generations of syphilitic whores, each one too dumb to recognize her own
brother in the dark.

But the forger's obvious mental deficiency is due not only to his Romanian
"stupidity genes", but also to the lifelong diet of "mamalyga" --- the
disgusting fermented gruel made from moldy cornmeal, which provides no
nutrition to the brain, causing it to atrophy. The severe brain damage in all
Romanian fascists, attributed to "mamalyga", is the reason why they are known
as "mamalyzhniks" throughout Eastern Europe.

Some "experts" attribute the wide spread of AIDS in Romania to the barbaric
habit of transfusing blood to newborn babies through the umbilical cord.
Supposedly, the Romanian fascists are too stupid to test the blood for AIDS.
Truth is, the brain-damaged forger is single-handedly (or rather single-
prickedly) responsible for infecting hundreds of thousands of his compatriots.

The queer forger is frustrated because there are no Russian troops (yet) in
Romania. Patience, boy! (or girl?) Our 14th Army is just a short tank ride
from the shithole "Bucure,sti". It's got thousands of cute soldiers in sexy
Russian uniforms, with big cocks for you to suck on, and with the tactical
nuclear weapons to nuke your shitload of a country back into the Stone Age
where it belongs. Then the surviving Romanians will again happily lick Russian
rectums for many hundreds of years to come. This is the only fate you fascists
deserve.
Romanian fascists frequently masturbate at the fantasy of their "culture"
having something to do with the French culture. In fact, the only thing French
about them is the forger's ardent love of giving passionate blow jobs to
American sailors. The rest of the Romanian "culture" is a bastardized
Russian/Ukrainian culture. For example, Romanian shepherds use Russian
numerals to count their sheep/girlfriends, for they are too stupid to have
invented their own numerals.

Mass incest is the only aspect of "Romanian culture" that wasn't stolen from
Slavs. A male who had no sisters is considered sexually undesirable by
Romanian females because he presumably only had his mother to practice his
bedroom skills with. On the other hand, a man with many sisters is presumed to
be highly skilled in lovemaking. (Make it "brothers" in the case of the
"long-haired forger".)

Likewise, Romanian females say "da" to every obscene proposition, for there is
not even a word for "yes" in their monkey language. The reason why these
smelly, hairy bitches (I hesitate to call them "women") are so easy (Romania
has been supplying Ukraine and all of Europe with lowest-class cheap whores
for centuries) is that the slime-faced Romanian males (definitely no "men")
are unable to satisfy them with their microscopic pricks and prefer to spend
all their time publicly masturbating on Slashdot, posting forgeries and
quotations from Hitler and Antonescu (the Romanian fascist who was hanged
after WWII for his part in the murder of 350,000 Romanian and Ukrainian Jews,
and is now being lionized by the Romanian queers and neo-Nazis on Slashdot.)
In particular, our forger's dick is less than one inch long, half the size of
his mother's clitoris. This is the root of the Jew-hating sissy's obsession
with little boys and Slashdot forgeries. This is why are are subjected to
receiving his child molestation fantasies in our RSS feeds. In better times
this peddler of kiddie porn would have been long ago castrated and shipped to
Siberia in a cattle car, together with his despicable compatriot degenerates.

The late Academician Yelena Chaushesku, IQ 75, (the wife of the equally late
"Danube of Thought"), was acknowledged by her compatriots to be by far the
smartest Romanian that's ever lived. Perhaps this was because she often had
something Russian in her. Perhaps the forger has something Russian in him too,
for who knows how many hundreds of Russians have fucked his mother? Surely she
herself can't count that far.

The joint winners of the "Dumbest person or entity on Internet" contest, the
entire Romanian ethnic group on Slashdot, are collectively awarded a (virtual)
toilet bowl full of rotten mamalyga (yum-yum!) sprinkled with mouse droppings.
Bon appetit! No single Romanian was the clear winner, so... POBEDILA
DRUZHBA!!! Tak vyp'em zhe, dorogie tovarishchi, za vechnuyu, nerushimuyu
druzhbu mezhdu russkim i rumynskim narodami!

Having amicably settled the "Stupidest person on Internet"
issue, I propose that we start a Russian Poetry Contest.

One reason why we feel the way we do about Romanians is that in Russian
language the word "Rumyn" rhymes with many other similar words: "kretin",
"babuin", "sukin syn", "Idi Amin", "limuzin", "blin", "tmin", "aspirin",
"kokain", "geroin", "kerosin", "naftalin", "karantin", "grafin", "altyn", etc.
How about a game of "bout rim'es"? Post your worst verse, with the subject
"Why I hate Romanians", to the topic Ask Slashdot and let the mihuis and
(de)florins choose the winner, who will be awarded a (virtual) bottle of
glorious Russian Stolichnaya Vodka, like this one [throwpots.com] !

The late, but immortal, Russian bard Vladimir Vysotsky contributes:

Rumyny, rumyny, krugom odni rumyny...
Govoryat, Idi Amin
V detstve tozhe bil rumyn.

And here's a piece of English poetry in the genre of limerick:

The fascist Romanian prick
Nicknamed "the long-haired freak"
Grows long pubic hair
And combs it with care
To cover his tiny short dick.

And this is rap:

My hatred for Romanians
Jus' keep growin' bigger,
'Cuz the stupid motherfuckers
Be full of mamalyga!

Have you had enough of the "smegma on the foreskin of the Balkan peninsula"
--- the Romanian fascists? If you are sick and tired, send your donations to
the glorious defenders of Mother Russia bravely fighting for her honor in the
great city of Tiraspol:

Colonel Dmitry "CMEPTb PYMbIHAM" Pidorenko
14th Army Press Service
Dom Kul'tury im. V.I.Lenina
Tiraspol, Dniester Soviet Socialist Republic
U.S.S.R. --- C.C.C.P.

Hard currency will be used to buy Zyklon B to cleanse the primordial Russian
lands --- Moldavia, Wallachia and Transylvania --- of the Simian-Romanian
occupiers and migrants. Roubles will be used for toilet paper.

BEJ RUMYN --- SPASAJ ROSSIJU! (Beat up Romanians to have Russia!)
SMERT' RUMYNSKIM FASHISTAM! (Death to Romanian Fascists!)

To summarize, BCEX PYMbIH --- Ha Xyu!

Anonymously,

General Vasily Ivanovich Chapayev

Re:Fascists (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944393)

Seriously, WTF? Did they let the asylum out?

Formation of SCO (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944361)

In the late 1970's Microsoft licensed UNIX source code from AT&T which at the time was not licensing the name UNIX. Therefore Microsoft created the name Xenix. Microsoft did not sell Xenix to end-users but instead licensed the software to software OEMs such as Intel, Tandy, Altos and SCO who then provided a finished version of their own Xenix to the end-users or other customers. SCO introduced its first version of Xenix named SCO Xenix System V for the Intel 8086 and 8088 in 1983. Today SCO Xenix is one of the more commonly used and found versions of Xenix.

Linux was based on Minix. A UnixLite OS designed to run on PCs. However, it was really only a teaching tool. Andrew Tanenbaum repeatedly refused to add the new (legitimate) features the users and even developers asked for. Linus Torvalds set out simply to add functionality to his own version of Minix (the copyright allows use to do so for your own personal use, but you cannot sell or distibute it).

Over time, in adding functionality to Minix, Linus Torvalds found that he had created an entirely new kernel. I was very similar to Minix but used none of the Minix source code. Torvalds had originally called it freax, for "`free' + `freak' + the obligatory `-x'. The operator of the FTP server where Linus' new kernel made its debut didn't like the name and simply called it Linux (Linus + Unix). People seemed to like the name so it stuck.

I personally will help the business community (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944370)

I pledge to provide Linux licenses for 1/2 of whatever SCO is offering.

No joke. I really will.

$5 licenses (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944391)

If the license fee was $5 per copy of Linux they might actually get enough people to make them more than $11k.

Six Figures (0, Redundant)

rilister (316428) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944399)

$1000.00 has six figures y'know...

Re:Six Figures (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944424)

Just what I was thinking. If Bill Gates and Paul Allen each buy a license, that's $1398.00 right there.

Re:Six Figures (0, Redundant)

sik0fewl (561285) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944538)

Yes, but so does $001.000

That includes only two decimal points right? (0, Redundant)

DaveLozier (759017) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944411)

They are tossing in licenses with other product deals so they can't say that SCOsource is actually creating all of the 6 figures.

Enderle: "Free Software and the Idiots Who Buy It" (5, Interesting)

Landaras (159892) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944415)

This is slightly OT, but it's in regards to SCO.

A week ago at SCO Forum, Rob Enderle [enderlegroup.com] gave a keynote speech entitled "Free Software and the Idiots Who Buy It." Mr. Enderle employed repeated logical errors, accusations without evidence, and ad hominem attacks. He materially confused the meaning of Free Software, as well as assigning physical threats to the Groklaw / Free Software community without proof.

I have written a paragraph by paragraph critique of his keynote, and it is available at my site (Part One [fallinggrace.com] and Part Two [fallinggrace.com] )

I welcome and appreciate feedback and comments on it. I jokingly refer to the paper as "Logical Fallacies and the Idiots Who Use Them," but did my best to keep the text proper professional.

- Neil Wehneman

Re:Enderle: "Free Software and the Idiots Who Buy (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944526)

He has some kind of followup on Linux Insider [linuxinsider.com] . Which, by the way, is not necessarily an aptly named website. They seem to have lots of anti-Linux articles.

MOD PARENT UP!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944416)

That stuff is gold!

I wonder (1)

Billly Gates (198444) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944422)

If SCO bought the licenses from themselves for all their internal servers like their webserver to claim they made the revenue.

get hosed SCO (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944428)

FOAD SCO!

SCO (1, Offtopic)

pilsner.urquell (734632) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944439)

Gag me with a penguin.

SCO is pleased to announce.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944450)

Hello everyone, welcome to the Fiscal Q2 SCO conference call. Mr. McBride, you may begin.

McBride: Uh, yo McB here. You guys better pop open a couple foamers because I've got some totally bitchen' news to tell you. In fact I got a couple brews right here in the minifridge. Joe you want one? Okay, that's cool, maybe later.

Okay, so I'm totally stoked to announce our SCOSource revenue last quarter was $699.000.

That's right, six figures baby! Hoowah, gimme a high five Joe! C'Mon Joe.. man you really need to loosen up.

Thanks to Mr. B. Illgates, who bought the license this quarter. Enjoy your new Linux Mr. Illgates. He totally put us over the top this Q. 10-4 for the 10-Q Mr B! WOO! HIGH FIVE!

I am just totally rockin!!!!

sure...that will get the customers running..... (3, Insightful)

f-bomb (101901) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944472)

last time i checked:

anything * 0 = 0

maybe they are just going to charge their UnixWare customers an extra $1400 when they bundle in the 'Linux IP' license

I caught my child experimenting with UnixWare (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944504)

Today I walked in on my 12-year-old boy alone in his room experimenting with UnixWare. Frankly, I am very ashamed! What, I ask, would drive such a good boy to dabble with such filth? He's only 12, for Christsake!

hmm (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944506)

When they say 'six figures' are they including the decimal places?

No change (1)

ozbird (127571) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944511)

($699 + increase) * 0 licenses sold is still $0.

I still don't understand... (1)

amybaum (738214) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944512)

How can SCO legally collect money for something they merely claim to own?
Shouldn't they have to actually own it before they can take people's money?

Six Figures: (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944514)

$000,000.00

Yo0 Fail It (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944517)

kiil myself like you do3n. It was lead developers Subscribers. Please as WideOpen,

All proceeds go to defending SCO... (4, Insightful)

MbM (7065) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944522)

Don't buy a license, don't support SCO and most importantly don't give them any money to defend this business practice in court; it's cheaper and it helps out in the long run.

Who the fuck do they think they're fooling? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944524)

I say they are fool of bullshit.

mousetrap@pop.com.br

Grab the 12 gauge and head to lindon! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944536)

OH NOES WHERE IS MY SHOT GUN!?

Next I'll find Mcbrides ass hole.

"Conversely... (1)

Slapdash X. Hashbang (315401) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944543)

ignoring us will be a better deal than ever!" said Stowell.

Act now! (0, Redundant)

Abomination5 (803011) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944547)

Act now while these prices last!

Six figures (0, Redundant)

pair-a-noyd (594371) | more than 10 years ago | (#9944548)

on which side of the decimal??

don't fuel the monster (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9944549)

SCO licenses will hit rock bottom once SCO goes bankrupt from losing court cases
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