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Star Wars on DVD

michael posted about 10 years ago | from the money-money-money-money-money-money dept.

Star Wars Prequels 635

twigstamc420 writes "USA Today is reporting that Lucasfilm has announced the details of releasing the Star Wars episodes IV through VI on DVD as well as a bonus DVD with commentary."

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JismTroll (588456) | about 10 years ago | (#9997987)

Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda stepped off the bus and was led into the yard of the Main
State Correctional Institute. He had been given ten years for participating in
a stock fraud. Five with good behavior. Years spent basking in the glow of a
CRT had been hard on him. His body was frail, his skin pallid. He knew he could
never make it through ten years in the general population with his virginity
intact. He had to get into solitary.

As soon as the burly guard unshackled him he made his move. Exhaling a feminine
"hmmph" he weakly slapped the guard. He was quickly taken to the ground,
receiving a swift kick to the ribs before being restrained. As he was dragged
to the solitary confinement cell he felt nothing but relief. "At least in
solitary," he thought "I'll be safe." Unfortunately for Rob he had picked the
wrong guard to mess with.

The next few days were uneventful. The time in his cell he spent evenly between
sleeping, reading a "Perl for Dummies" book he had gotten from the book cart,
and masturbating furiously. His self-flagellation was interrupted on the fourth
day. The burly guard he had attacked earlier stepped into his cell. The gleam
in the guards eye and the mean grin on his face made Rob's pecker quickly
shrivel in his hand. "You fucked with the wrong man when you fucked with
Michael Simms," said the guard. "The inmates here call me The Asshole for a
reason. Now come with me, punk."

The guard led him down the hall to one of several empty shower stalls. He
roughly threw Rob in the stall and locked the door. Rob was petrified. His mind
raced as he imagined the myriad of different tortures that could be in store
for him. His worst fears were confirmed when the guard returned. In his hands
were a short black dress, black stilleto heels, and a curly blonde wig. "Strip
down and put this on, bitch." Rob did as instructed and was pleased to notice
that the dress fit well and the heels gave him a nice slimming effect. The
burly guard admired the drag queen. "The GNAA is gonna love you!"

The guard left the shower stall, only to return minutes later. He opened the
door and led 20 large black men into the stall. "Rob, meet the Gay Nigger
Association of America. GNAA, meet Rob. I'm sure you all will get along fine."
With that the guard slammed the shower door closed and walked away laughing.

The men approached Rob, backing him into a corner. The apparent leader stepped
forward. "No matter what I'm gonna fuck that purdy lil' ass of yours. Now I can
fuck it dry or you can lube it up for me." Rob knew he had no choice. He
kneeled in front of the leader, who began to slap his face with his 10 black
inches. Puss from syphilictic sores quickly covered Rob's cheeks. When the
leader was sufficiently aroused he placed his throbbing cock up to Rob's lips.
As soon as Rob opened his mouth the leader violently shoved his manhood to the
back of Rob's throat and exclaimed "Swallow my shit you cracker bitch!" Rob
gagged as he was violently face fucked.

Just when he was about to pass out the leader pulled out, turned him around and
shoved his cock into Rob's ass. Rob began to scream in agony but his cries were
quickly muffled by one of the other gang member's cocks. They rode him like
that for the better part of an hour. When one man finished another quickly took
his place. Just as Rob was getting used to the throbbing pain in his anus the
men stopped. One man lay down on the floor and Rob was told to get on top of
him and take his dick inside him. Exhausted and humiliated, Rob had no will
left to fight. As soon as he inserted the penis another man came up behind him
and began to force his cock into Rob's already filled anus. Again his screams
of agony were muffled, this time by a smelly black anus.

For another hour he was violated in this way. When the men were finished with
him he couldn't walk and his mouth was filled with dingleberries and ass hairs.
Before they all left the leader had some parting words for Rob: "Thanks for
that sweet piece of ass, punk. We'll see you again tomorrow. Oh by the way, we
all have AIDS." It was going to be a long ten years for Rob.


GNAA Tar-Baby (802237) | about 10 years ago | (#9998087)

LOLOL nbut he already is analreciever to MichaelLOLOLOLOL

Yes. Every form of bad human behavior becomes a "disease". The first thing the authorities do is coddle the "victim" of said disease until the "disease" turns into a plague. After that, they come up with treatments that will permanently change his behavior. This is the mindset of the modern left, those legions of enlightened "social democrats" that rule Europe and struggle to hang onto power in North America. Their welfare state took away personal responsibility and was eventually found wanting. In fact, it is headed for a collapse, and the entrenched political mainstream will do anything to prop it up a little while longer. Their next big project is to take away people's freedom. This includes privacy, speech, religion, anonymity, association, everything. It didn't start just two days ago, but it began in earnest just a few years ago. Get ready. The problem is that Microsoft has redefined what "operating system" means. To me, an operating system involves things like schedulers, file systems, memory managers, network stacks, user accounts, and device drivers. It doesn't involve drawing particular pictures on the screen, although it may provide a method to do so. It sure as hell doesn't involve a web browser. Microsoft has created this homogenous "operating environment" (Windows Kernel/Windows GUI/MSIE/Office/Outlook) and tried to claim that the whole thing is an operating system. It's not, although Microsoft has tried its darndest to make it such by assuring that you have to use the IE-based tools to talk to the kernel. Students: What happen? Universities: Somebody set up us the RIAA contract. Universities: We just watch you. Students: What! Universities: Main screen turn on. Students: It's You!! RIAA: How are you thieving punks!! RIAA: All your schools are belong to us. RIAA: Your rights are on the way to destruction. Students: What you say!! RIAA: Your rights have no chance to survive make your time. RIAA: HA HA HA HA! RIAA: Your ass is mine Students: You know what you doing. RIAA: Landsharks, engage Students: For great justice. (Wonders how many time the same joke can be milked for.) -8&btnI=&q= No way, patent the process of getting a lame-assed patent. Think of how much money you could make in just the first week of enforcement... I had a lot of material I was going to post, but I pulled it out and will likely send it offline. One of the things I think people place too much emphasis upon is the "Mine's Bigger!" syndrome. This happens in far too many facets of the workworld: the sweeps for the local news, when they've pulled out all the stops to find the juiciest stories which will make the others envious. When I wrote most of my initial message, there were a bunch of messages which applied primarly to formatting or things which would be kewl to power users and geeks. That leaves a lot of people out. Send out the best new models for each critic. "This one is really cool and it's got every feature unknown to man, but unless you're Steven Jobs, forget it." Compared with, "You know, the features and options are not quite what the others are, but anyone can use it. Now, which one of those projects would you want to work on? I can guarantee the sales of the latter would be far more than the previous. Probably one of the biggest things overlooked in the browser et. al market is in the searching mechanism. Unfortunately, far too many services which provide search mechanism have a "mine's bigger" syndrome when it comes to speed. "We serve up 100M requests a day with a minium return of x time. Who cares? Most of the time a browser or any other search mechanism is involved, the statistics should be on how fast the user is able to find their desired search, not the search they have to enter with an improperly designed interface. Take with an advanced search. First, that presumes, I'm presenting myself as an advanted user. That means I should be presented with an advanced screen. If that's advanced, there needs to be another level beyond that. Most of the time I have searches, I have to supply dunsel searches, then hack the supplied values in the supplied text box with the results of the text, then rerunning it. I've got more to say on my soapbox, but I'll send it offlist. Bottom Line: "Smarter" searching, not only for the occasional searches but for those who are labelled "giants among ants" (which) I am not, by any stretch of the imagination - I just knew I'd have a chance to use that phrase.

Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (5, Informative)

MrP- (45616) | about 10 years ago | (#9997989)

Some of the changes:

Good change: dvd_palpatine1.jpg []
They replaced the horrible emperor [] from ESB with the real emperor

OK Change: dvd_jabba1.jpg []
They updated the Jabba scene from ANH SE, now Jabba doesn't look like he was rendered on a Nintendo64

Horrible puke-inducing change:
dvd_esprit2.jpg []
Hayden Christensen in the end of RoTJ. ::barf::

Re:Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (2, Insightful)

halowolf (692775) | about 10 years ago | (#9998020)

For some reason this part of the article disturbed me:

Rumor have circulated about additional changes, but Ward would not deny or confirm them. "We want to encourage our fans to check them out themselves."

Re:Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (1)

mlk (18543) | about 10 years ago | (#9998025)

Before/after shots for us who have not got the VHS editions?

Re:Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (2, Informative)

MrP- (45616) | about 10 years ago | (#9998054)

well i included a before shot on the emperor link (click "horrible emperor".. sorry for the resolution)

i found this [] crappy shot of the end of RoTJ

and another crappy shot [] of jabba from the 1997 SE

Re:Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (5, Insightful)

TheGatekeeper (309483) | about 10 years ago | (#9998027)

Lucas's revisionist history really does bother me as a geek. While I agree some of the added scenes do add to the movies, some of them are simply unacceptable. Greedo shooting first for example.

If they were offering the original movies on DVD, I'd jump at it. I don't know how I feel about this revisionist version, but it leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Re:Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (1)

servognome (738846) | about 10 years ago | (#9998062)

What irks me even more is the dialogue changes. I spent my entire childhood memorizing every line of those stupid movies, then suddenly they change the dialogue and it just sounds wrong.
The worst part is the changes don't even add anything! Half of them seemed to be changed just because they could be.

Re:Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (5, Interesting)

Aero Leviathan (698882) | about 10 years ago | (#9998117)

I saw on some interview that the minor dialogue changes weren't even intentional; when they were remastering the film for 1997, they sometimes had to use different takes that hadn't deteriorated as much (or so they say). They claim they didn't even realise they had changed any of the dialogue until diehard fans started complaining... ^_~

hopefulness (1)

Tumbleweed (3706) | about 10 years ago | (#9998124)

I'm just hoping they left in the bit where the Stormtrooper entering the control room where C3PO & R2D2 are at whacks his head coming in. Friggin' hilarious. Or the part where Luke shouts "Carrie!" instead of "Leia!" at the end of Ep IV. Fun stuff like that should definitely be left in. Here's hopin'.

Re:Some of the changes (possible spoilers) (4, Insightful)

afidel (530433) | about 10 years ago | (#9998055)

Blah, when will Lucas get it, we want the origional damn films as shown in theaters, not his revisionist history with all the damn modern FX. Jeezus if South Park is making fun of you you know you are doing something wrong.

Now that does not make sense? (2, Insightful)

TheShadowHawk (789754) | about 10 years ago | (#9998061)

Hang on? the younger Anakin in spirit form?

But he didn't die until the end of Ep VI. I figured your "jedi" spirit took the form of your body at the time of death?

Sheesh.. not unlike lucas to create some friggin' plot holes! :P

Re:Now that does not make sense? (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998114)

the theory is that when a jedi dies he comes back in his purest yoda and obi wan come back as they were when they died, but anakin returns as he was before he went to the dark side

Re:Now that does not make sense? (3, Funny)

Dachannien (617929) | about 10 years ago | (#9998174)

but anakin returns as he was before he went to the dark side

You know, repentence is good enough for Jesus, so it oughta be good enough for George Lucas.

Lucas's explaination: (1)

Q-Kumbers (450640) | about 10 years ago | (#9998168)

I'll bet 50 Republic Credits on it.

About damn time! (1)

mlcolosimo (712247) | about 10 years ago | (#9997991)

All over the globe, geeks just passed out.

Anyone have a .torrent? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9997992)

Oh wait...wrong forum. Nothing to see here...move along...

primary (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9997996)

this would be a primary

Yeah! (1)

Nibbler(C) (574581) | about 10 years ago | (#9997997)

About (expletive) time! At least I can dump those hideous VHS tapes. What took so long?

Re:Yeah! (5, Funny)

EvilCabbage (589836) | about 10 years ago | (#9998095)

What took so long?

George needed the extra time to think of new and horrible ways to re-edit our childhood. Good thing too, I hadn't quite had all my dreams shattered yet.

Re:Yeah! (4, Funny)

whiteranger99x (235024) | about 10 years ago | (#9998121)

EvilCabbage: Good thing too, I hadn't quite had all my dreams shattered yet.
Yoda: They will be. They will be.

Re:Yeah! (3, Funny)

EvilCabbage (589836) | about 10 years ago | (#9998145)

Thanks a fucking lot.

Dr Pepper hurts like christ when it's expelled from the nostrils.

Anonymous Coward. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9997999)

Anonymous Coward.

Re:Anonymous Coward. (3, Funny)

TheShadowHawk (789754) | about 10 years ago | (#9998134)

TheShadowHawk :P

Funniest Post! (1)

tid242 (540756) | about 10 years ago | (#9998221)

For some reason (or another), this seems to be the funniest post i've seen all day.

is it actually un-funny? because it seems like it should be, but then i keep laughing.


Mr Lucas (4, Funny)

onyxruby (118189) | about 10 years ago | (#9998003)

On behalf of the slashdot community and geeks everywhere. I beg you please release these as they were originaly shown in the theaters.

Thank-you Your fan base

AMEN! (2, Interesting)

davidwr (791652) | about 10 years ago | (#9998073)

In celluloid if at all possible!

Otherwise, DVD letterbox AS AIRED.
If you want to add changed scenes, outtakes, commentary, etc. fine, just make sure I can view it AS I SAW IT IN 1977 if I want to.

Re:Mr Lucas (4, Funny)

miyako (632510) | about 10 years ago | (#9998224)

On behalf of Lucas and co.
Fuck you, you'll buy what we release and like it.
Thank you, Lucasfilms.

Honestly... (3, Insightful)

RealBeanDip (26604) | about 10 years ago | (#9998004)

Episode IV was incredible. I was blown away by it when it came out.

But by the time VI came out, it had a very Police Academy IV thing going on.

Let's hope Episode III is good..

Re:Honestly... (5, Funny)

ravenspear (756059) | about 10 years ago | (#9998017)

Let's hope Episode III is good..

Buh, Buh, Missa no wan to die!

Re:Honestly... (1)

celeritas_2 (750289) | about 10 years ago | (#9998050)

I have great hopes for episode III, they were a lot greater before one and two came out. I think IV was good because it had that indie charm that created a special FX rennisance. It's the same reason I liked the first Matrix so much more than the rest of them, it was truely innovative, the sequels tried too hard to intrigue with more of everything which looked cool but were just tiresome. The new star wars episodes are trying to change, to innovate, but they suck because they are tied down to earlier episodes.

Box Set (4, Funny)

devinoni (13244) | about 10 years ago | (#9998007)

I'm waiting for the super-special-extended-ultra-remastered-digitally- enhanced mega super version box set of all 6 movies.

Re:Box Set (4, Insightful)

decipher_saint (72686) | about 10 years ago | (#9998046)

Actually, I would like a super-UNenhanced version of the original three...

*grips tightly DVD burns of LaserDisc versions*

Re:Box Set (1)

scum-e-bag (211846) | about 10 years ago | (#9998053)

Best for everyone to wait. They'll have deleted scenes and actor overdubs and all sorts of goodies in the 6 box set. Harrison Ford as an old man in his 90's telling strange little stories about "back in my day we did it like this"...

Blah blah blah

Re:Box Set (4, Insightful)

AstrumPreliator (708436) | about 10 years ago | (#9998060)

By the time they're done with all six movies they'll have to remaster the first trilogy (IV - VI) and show it in theaters (again). Then when that's done they'll have to remaster the second trilogy (I - III) and show those in theaters again. But by that time the first trilogy will be so far out of date they'll decide to completely remake it.

You'll be waiting for that all-in-one box set for a long long time.


Re:Box Set (1)

MrP- (45616) | about 10 years ago | (#9998148)

dont get that one either.. because we all know in 10 years they'll make episode 7, 8, and 9.. and then release a 10 disc dvd set.. dont get that one either.. because 2 years later they'll release the 20 disc set

all of them? (1)

ian rogers (760349) | about 10 years ago | (#9998012)

I just can't wait until they come out with the box set with all six films and I can spend a day watching the entire Star Wars story. It'll get better as it goes on no doubt, as episode one was so bad, yet the originals are oh so good.

Re:all of them? (1)

vaylen (566986) | about 10 years ago | (#9998214)

More like it will get better and peak a little after the middle and then decline again. If dead Darth is Hayden, why not use Ewan for Obi Wan? And maybe use a sock puppet for Yoda?

clarification (-1, Redundant)

EngMedic (604629) | about 10 years ago | (#9998013)

are these the "digitally remastered" (ie, with scenes added and changed) versions, or the original films (ie, without the extended dance-remix ending, etc..)?

Re:clarification (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998022)

they're the digitally raped editions

post first (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998014)

there is no try. do or do not.

i did not.


Changes? (5, Funny)

Russ Steffen (263) | about 10 years ago | (#9998015)

I hear that in this version Alderaan shoots first.

Re:Changes? (1)

fredopalus (601353) | about 10 years ago | (#9998041)

That would definitely make the movie shorter. Oh well. Room for more bonus features and deleted scenes!

Re:Changes? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998043)

Sadly most mods are not quite aware, subtle or fair enough to understand this. But thanks anyway, it made me smile.

Re:Changes? (1)

whiteranger99x (235024) | about 10 years ago | (#9998068)

LMAO! Good one, I just spit out my fucking drink over that one! :)

Re:Changes? (1)

Cyno01 (573917) | about 10 years ago | (#9998071)

Gin & Tonic... Monitor... yeah...

Re:Changes? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998086)


Re:Changes? (5, Funny)

colmore (56499) | about 10 years ago | (#9998152)

No, but there's good inteligence that clearly shows Alderaan had a stockpile of WMDs that it planned to give to the Rebel Alliance. The new DVD further points out that its government was an anti-democratic dictatorship by a royal family, and goes on to document its sentient-rights abuses which while largely decades in the past, still play a part in building a convincing case for a pre-emptive planetary destruction by the Emp - er - Coalition Forces.

Re:Changes? (1)

mister_tim (653773) | about 10 years ago | (#9998158)

Best. One-liner. Ever.

Wish I'd come up with that one

I'm going to wait...believe it or not. (4, Insightful)

Agent Green (231202) | about 10 years ago | (#9998016)

I'm actually going to wait this one out. I can't recall how many times the trilogy was released on VHS...and am not going to get taken like a sucker on this like I was with Fellowship of the Ring.

Once the second release is out, then it'll be time to party. Probably when episode 3 is done and release and it's all in one pretty box. :)

Re:I'm going to wait...believe it or not. (2, Informative)

blackpaw (240313) | about 10 years ago | (#9998042)

So how were you sucked in by LOTR 1 ? Jackson was upfront from the start that there would be extended versions for all three movies after the cinematic dvs were released

Re:I'm going to wait...believe it or not. (1)

Agent Green (231202) | about 10 years ago | (#9998058)

That's true...but my understanding was that the extended editions were going to come out after the entire trilogy was already released...not 6 months or so after the cinematic DVD release.

Re:I'm going to wait...believe it or not. (1)

blackpaw (240313) | about 10 years ago | (#9998198)

Sorry, your understanding was incorrect. We knew all along that extended dvds would come out a few months after the cinematic releases

Slashdot's 10,000,000th post, be ready! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998018)

According to the latest estimates here at Trolling Headquarters, Slashdot's 10,000,000th post will be posted on August 18, @08:30AM Eastern time, which is an update to our previous estimate [] .

Some history

Back in the old days, post numbers were shorter because they were the post number for the current story (#1, #2, #3...). Thinking that this was fueling the rash of "first posts", CmdrTaco replaced it with a boringly large "comment id" representing the post number for the whole of Slashdot. There were a few fuck-ups during the conversion process: posts in this 2001 story [] have smaller numbers than posts in this 1999 story [] .

The new system is unexpectly backfiring: trolls still try to get "first posts", geeks find that the urls are bloated from an information theoretic perspective, and... there is now a new category of junk post to aim for: cute comment id numbers!

Post #10000000

We sure hope a troll gets it. Don't forget to reply to said post too.

Re:Slashdot's 10,000,000th post, be ready! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998228)

Oh I HOPE someone does this:

10,000,000th post muthah fuckaz!!!!! Eat my fuck!!!

Non special edition dvd's (2, Interesting)

Stinkythe1 (719563) | about 10 years ago | (#9998019)

I tried to get a friend of mine to transfer his VHS version of the Star Wars trilogy over to DVD. Too bad you have to bootleg it in order to get the unadultered version of it.

Re:Non special edition dvd's (4, Informative)

djward (251728) | about 10 years ago | (#9998180)

Find a used laserdisc player. You can find the orig. trilogy, remastered THX but pre-extra shite, for pretty cheap now on LD. Damn good quality (almost DVD quality), surround sound, etc. I've been enjoying them for years. I suppose you could borrow a LD player and hook it up to computer and burn over to DVD if you were inclined.

I love the laserdiscs though. Big, beautiful cover art. The Empire Strikes Back LD cover is a thing of beauty.

Re:Non special edition dvd's (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998229)

these exist on DVD already - there is a making of special feature transfered from the LD set as well. someone even went to the extent of moking up covers to match the Ep1 cover art

unfortunately, I can't tell you where to get them, but they were pretty common about 9 months ago.

This is amazing news... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998021)

It was even more amazing when I heard it last year around this time.

Yawn. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998023)

Han shot first. Jabba didn't meet up with Han before Han took off (and certainly not the significantly older looking version of Han that you see in this scene). Etc. Etc.

There's no way I'm buying these DVDs. And given that the odds of Lucas releasing the original films are close enough to zero as make no difference, the odds of me buying any Star Wars DVDs are close enough to zero as to make no difference.

Wake me if/when Lucas comes to his senses. Until then, I just don't give a damn.

Re:Yawn. (2, Informative)

MrP- (45616) | about 10 years ago | (#9998084)

i agree but you're comment about jabba is flawed.. he did hook up, cept in the original release he was played by a human, there was no jabba costume or puppet.. it was just some dude.. so the guys at ILM placed a digital jabba over that guy, but the han is the same han, its not new footage of harrison ford, its the original scene just with a CGI jabba.. personally i think the scene should just be cut but the new cgi for the dvd is better than the 1997 cgi at least.

Actually... (5, Informative)

EvilCabbage (589836) | about 10 years ago | (#9998123)

Jabba didn't meet up with Han before Han took off (and certainly not the significantly older looking version of Han that you see in this scene). Etc. Etc. Han did meet Jabba in the original cut, the scene was pulled from theatrical release though. Jabba was originally a dumpy irish fellow dressed in fur and leather.

If you're going to bitch about scene changes, at least have the facts my friend.

Re:Yawn. (5, Informative)

Don Sample (57699) | about 10 years ago | (#9998128)

Uh... "the significantly older version of Han" was filmed with the original movie, and a stand-in (a fat guy wearing some sort of fur outfit, looked kinda like Cyrano Jones from The Trouble With Tribbles) for Jabba, that George originally planned to replace with a stop motion Hut.

When that plan didn't work out (didn't have the time/budget/tech to do it convincingly) they added the Greedo scene to pass on the same information about Han's difficulties with the local smugglar king, which is why the conversation with Jabba is essentially the same as the conversation with Greedo.

As ObiWan said... (5, Funny)

whiteranger99x (235024) | about 10 years ago | (#9998026)

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of geeks suddenly cried out in glee and were suddenly silenced."

Re:As ObiWan said... (1)

zackeller (653801) | about 10 years ago | (#9998059)

Go ahead and use the force. I just looked on Slashdot and got the same result.

Re:As ObiWan said... (1)

whiteranger99x (235024) | about 10 years ago | (#9998100)

Well to be fair, one can liken Slashdot on web servers to the Death Star on Alderaan :)

" if millions of web pages suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

Ok, I overused that quote in my jokes. No biscuit for me :P

Now wait a second. (1)

blair1q (305137) | about 10 years ago | (#9998031)

I just paid $63 for the first two seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm on DVD.

You mean that doesn't come with free Star Wars DVDs?

I mean, it's not like they're new movies or anything...

Always Check (2, Interesting)

buckhead_buddy (186384) | about 10 years ago | (#9998184)

I've noticed two types of DVD producers. Those who talk about the extended / enhanced super versions and those who do not.

My rule of thumb is that if a producer is side-stepping the question about producing an enhanced version that they are trying to get you to buy the first "sucker" version.

If they are against modifying the movie, they'll usually proclaim that they'll NEVER have an altered version available loud and clear.

If their production schedule for the enhanced version means that the two versions will be released separately, the honest producers will usually give two deadlines, but you've got to do your homework and check this out for yourself. Retail stores don't like to point out "This isn't the DVD you're probably looking for."

Fore example, I haven't seen "The Passion of the Christ" yet, may rent it, but I may buy it and if it's rubbish give it away for Christmas. But I notice it's being produced in all sorts of unenhanced versions (widescreen, normal, Church 50-packs, etc). Only rumors are circulating about a possible enhanced release. Personally, I'll wait for "The Passion of the Christ - Second Coming!" rather than sweep up the version available at the end of August.

Well? WELL? (3, Insightful)

jerkychew (80913) | about 10 years ago | (#9998038)

Come on! This article has been up for seven minutes, and nobody has answered the most important question:

Does Greedo shoot first???

Come on! You call yourselves geeks?

Re:Well? WELL? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998146)

well, that scene does have changes.

Re:Well? WELL? (1)

Aero Leviathan (698882) | about 10 years ago | (#9998155)

Here, I've got your answer for you:


I hope this helps.

Re:Well? WELL? (1)

decipher_saint (72686) | about 10 years ago | (#9998166)

Come on! You call yourselves geeks?
Noooo, circus freaks who eat raw or live animal flesh call themselves geeks...

...but that's another story. In the version I cherish (i.e. the spruced-up-but-unchanged VHS re-release of the early 90s), Greedo never shoots...

Now toodle-oo...

Bonus DVD Commentary :) (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998040)

From what I hear, the commentary on the "Bonus DVD" in question consists entirely of fan commentary on all episodes of the Star Wars franchise in DVD audio format.

It is said that the US is considering classification of this DVD as a weapon, putting it into the same class as strong crypto used to be. This is based on preliminary results obtained after playing the entire disc non-stop to George took only 30 minutes for him to start begging to be encased in Carbonite.


1984 (2, Funny)

zackeller (653801) | about 10 years ago | (#9998048)

Everybody knows that the versions coming out on DVD are the originals.

Big Lucas takes care of us.

What's next? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998076)

First a phone announcement as 'news'

Then an access point as 'news'

Now an announcement about some DVD's that we already knew were coming out ... as 'news'

I predict the next 'news' item will report the Earth successfully completing yet another rotation...
What a slow news day..

Can't Wait. . . (0, Redundant)

MistaE (776169) | about 10 years ago | (#9998082)

I seriously can't wait for this DVD collection to come out, special version or not, all I can say is I do NOT lug a damn VCR to college (hell, I don't think I even have one in my house any more), so I haven't been able to see this trilogy in a long time. It'll be very sweet to have some viewings at school with tons of other nerds.

Good times will be had very soon at many a college dorm. . .

Lucas' reality check bounced. (5, Interesting)

beldraen (94534) | about 10 years ago | (#9998089)

From the man who refuses to release original editions and continues to "rice" out his movies said this about movie purity:
"Star Wars" creator George Lucas, who testified with Steven Spielberg before Congress in the 1980s against colorization and other forms of alteration, said the process yanks such slapstick performers as the Stooges out of the black-and-white universe they belong in.
Appearently, putting stooges into the movies is ok. Read more about this fun here. []

Han shoots first? (4, Interesting)

Alcimedes (398213) | about 10 years ago | (#9998090)

If he does, I'm not buying them, period. I can't believe that they'd change what basically amounts to a massive character development over three movies, and rework it to crap. all because it's not nice for Han to shoot first. that was the WHOLE FREEKING point. ugh.

i hate people sometimes.

Re:Han shoots first? (1)

PseudoThink (576121) | about 10 years ago | (#9998178)

Agreed...check out Firefly, if you haven't already. Joss Whedon knows how to create a protagonist with some funny and cool moral ambiguities, including no qualms about shooting first.

Re:Han shoots first? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998207)

i hate people sometimes.
Only sometimes? You must be young.

Re:Han shoots first? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998219)

Han shoots first?

If he does, I'm not buying them, period.

Er, we WANT Han to shoot first.

Wait a minute.. what? (2)

Malicious (567158) | about 10 years ago | (#9998093)

Isn't this like REALLY old news? What's new about this? It's not like they have anything we didn't already know! This was announced AGES ago.

Re:Wait a minute.. what? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998142)

Isn't this like REALLY old news?

It sure is. A lot of stores in Australia already have huge posters advertising the release date as September 26. OLD news.

"Digitally Remastered Footage" (4, Funny)

johnthorensen (539527) | about 10 years ago | (#9998106)

Here's to hoping this has something to do with Princess Leia in Jabba's Palace :)


Re:"Digitally Remastered Footage" (1)

whiteranger99x (235024) | about 10 years ago | (#9998143)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're going to have shots in different angles too *bow chicka wow wow* ;)

Re:"Digitally Remastered Footage" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998185)

Probably fixed up Oola so she doesn't pop out of her costume.

First Post (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998126)

First Post...

Well atleast until Lucas "remasters" it

I'll stick to my LaserDiscs.... (5, Informative)

elberserko (758501) | about 10 years ago | (#9998130)

The only true way to see the original theatrical versions of the trilogy is to get the laserdiscs. Not only does it look and sound better than the VHS but If you get the right ones, they are widescreen, which no VHS copy of the "original theatrical" versions have to the best of my knowledge.

Re:I'll stick to my LaserDiscs.... (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#9998183)

In 1995, when the originals were remastered and released as the "faces" box set, they released VHS full screen, VHS widescreen, and LD widescreen editions.

In 1998, when they released the Special Editions, they released both full and widescreen in VHS and widescreen in LD.

Sorry people (5, Informative)

Neo-Rio-101 (700494) | about 10 years ago | (#9998140)

If you RTFA, you see this:-

The controversy. The versions of Lucas' beloved films that are on these new DVDs are not the original theatrical releases but the special editions that played in theaters in 1997. Rumor have circulated about additional changes, but Ward would not deny or confirm them. "We want to encourage our fans to check them out themselves."

Re:Sorry people (1)

mister_tim (653773) | about 10 years ago | (#9998203)

In other words, "we want you to pay for the priveleg of finding out whether or not we fixed the scene with Greedo and Han".

Thank goodness for Slashdot - for sure there will be a review up the day they are released, and the first thing everyone on Slashdot who buys it will check is, "did Greedo still shoot first?". Of course, the second thing they check will be Princess Leia in the slave-girl outfit...

To point out the obvious (not a conspiracy theory) (5, Interesting)

kamapuaa (555446) | about 10 years ago | (#9998153)

George Lucas is about making money, not about establishing or preserving legacies or whatever. I just have to believe that he'll release these DVDs, claim they're the only official release ever, and wait for every nerd to buy them, even though they grumble about it being the revised version.

Only then, after the DVD saled have slowed down, will he decide to relent, release the original movies on DVD, and snap up the profits from nerds re-purchasing the DVDs of the original movie.

Kind of the inverse of Lord of the Rings DVD strategy - Lucas realizes if he releases the original versions first, nobody will buy the revised versions later.

Isn't this topic... (1)

FIGJAM (29275) | about 10 years ago | (#9998164)

Isn't this topic Star Wars PREQUELS?

Why? (4, Insightful)

telstar (236404) | about 10 years ago | (#9998167)

Why can't Lucas take a hint from the LOTR series and release the 13-DVD super-duper box set with 35 variations of each film including the original versions and his new screwed up versions? Charge people eleventy-seven dollars or whatever ... just give people what they want .... not what he thinks they should have.

Boycott the Release (1, Interesting)

l0ungeb0y (442022) | about 10 years ago | (#9998170)

From the Article:
"The versions of Lucas' beloved films that are on these new DVDs are not the original theatrical releases but the special editions that played in theaters in 1997. Rumor have circulated about additional changes, but Ward would not deny or confirm them. "We want to encourage our fans to check them out themselves."

If this is in fact true, I say don't buy the god damned things.
Tell Lucas you're fed up with his constant reworking of a classic that needs no changing and that you want the unadulterated original release on DVD without any scene edits for DVD.
Personally, Lucas needs to stand down and let others do the creative work.

Re:Boycott the Release (1)

whiteranger99x (235024) | about 10 years ago | (#9998199)

No kidding, we don't need him tinkering with what was already successful and beloved. We certainly don't need them to do anything crazy like throwing random scenes with Anakin and Padme, or having Jar Jar jump up the screen every 15 seconds.

Of course, "We want to encourage our fans to check them out themselves," doesn't really give me the vote of confidence that they've learned anything.

This sucks (1)

rsilvergun (571051) | about 10 years ago | (#9998171)

It's bad enough they're not releasing the original movies (at least until Lucas dies, then I'm sure they'll take advantage of the opportunity to sell us the same crap again). Now releasing the DVDs is generating interest in the Laserdisks, and I still haven't tracked down the other two THX/Widescreen movies (I've got Jedi at least). It wouldn't be so bad if most of the changes (like Greedo shooting first) weren't because Lucas has his head up his ass and is listening to critics (who, it should be noted, also have heads up their asses, very often their own).

The Commentary (5, Funny)

SpootFinallyRegister (787720) | about 10 years ago | (#9998175)

Heres a part where i rake in some money.

Ooh, heres another million... selling out, selling out, cashing in, nother million.

Money. Money, money.

Is anyone still watching this? suckers.

-George Lucas

GNAA (0, Troll)

PeePeeSee (633156) | about 10 years ago | (#9998186)

I can only hope I mark this moment in history

Wake me up when they put the ORIGINALs on DVD (3, Interesting)

neurojab (15737) | about 10 years ago | (#9998196)

An open letter to George Lucas.

Dear George,

The nostalgic value for DVD collectors of these movies is very high, but your changes destroy that value. No one who loved the movies in the 70s and 80s wants the "special edition" release, or the changes you have made since. The changes make them new movies, lesser versions of their former selves, they certainly are not the same movies I enjoyed in my youth. One of the great things about Star Wars was the amazing effect work that was very groundbreaking using the technology of the day. Updating the films with new technology destroys that accomplishment.

I will not buy Star Wars (again) until the original, unmodified movie is on DVD. Likewise for Empire.

Thank you.
-an 80's Star Wars fan in your target market.
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