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Experiment Cuts Off Online Junkies from Internet

CowboyNeal posted more than 9 years ago | from the sometimes-it-still-feels-like-it's-there dept.

The Internet 409

Ant (an Internet junkie) writes "An article from The Register reports one begins gibbering uncontrollably because he/she can't get a fix without internet access after two weeks. That, at least, is according to an 'Internet Deprivation Study' carried out by Yahoo! and advertising outfit OMD. Participants in the human experiment were deprived of the web for 14 days, and found themselves quickly succumbing to 'withdrawal and feelings of loss, frustration and disconnectedness.' The reason for the rapid collapse of their universe is - say the researchers - because 'internet users feel confident, secure and empowered.'"

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Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? (5, Funny)

lordsilence (682367) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338015)

What about the 5min average slashdot fix?

Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338025)

I bet that took a lot of effor to make it look like you're not going for FP. Nice effort, ace!

Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? (0)

Scoria (264473) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338080)

If mine were longer than yours, would it be more appropriate to act humiliated or boast?

Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? (5, Insightful)

DenDave (700621) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338250)

If yours were longer than mine then it would be innappropriate to discuss such matters on this forum...

But 14 days without internet can be an interesting experience. Lst year I went on two and a half weeks of vacation to the alps without a computer in sight. I was totally relaxed, actually got some decent sleep (as opposed to my usual semi-neurotic insomnia) and when I returned from vacation I was entirely revitalized, out of touch with my normal "plugged-in" world, but revitalized nonetheless.. Now I am back to semi-neurotic-insomnia.... time to get back out there...

FP (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338016)

w0rd up, GNAA [www.gnaa.us] !

Hitler had a nice haircut (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338017)

really.

sun is evil (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338018)

it's there fault!

/me scratches eyes (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338020)

hmm, maybe it's time I went to sleep and got off the Net.

So... (5, Insightful)

IronMagnus (777535) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338022)

Next we'll see how people who are used to talking and communicating with others in person in every day life react when they are locked in a well lit room for two weeks with no human contact.

Re:So... (2, Interesting)

Thiarna (111890) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338152)

Didn't you see big brother UK? Ok so it was only one week, there were two in the room, and they were both prone to gibbering beforehand but they were much worse at the end.

Re:So... (4, Funny)

jrumney (197329) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338207)

Didn't you see big brother UK?

I think I'd rather be a chronic internet addict than sat in front of the box watching crap reality TV shows all the time.

Re:So... (5, Funny)

MetalMorph (528717) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338257)

You can do both with a TV tuner card.

Re:So... (4, Interesting)

Viol8 (599362) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338155)

Not sure if you're trying to make a wry comparison , but going without internet access hardly constitutes going without human contact. In fact in a lot of circumstances it leads to it! When I say human contact I mean face to face , trying stuff into an IM or email client IMO is not human contact. Anyway , I suspect if these people weren't addicted to the internet they'd be addicted to something else whether it be drink, drugs, adrenaline sports , whatever...

Re:So... (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338192)

For some of us, talking to people online is the only contact with our friends. Cutting the connection means we are unable to communicate with those friends (at least for me, they live in different countries).

You may be to old to consider it human contact, but no matter if it's face to face, a phone, or AIM, the person on the other end is a human. My mother felt the same way, couldn't tell the difference between me chatting with some friends online and playing a game. Until the day one of the people I chatted with came down to visit.

These are real people, real friends, and for some of us the only friends we have. Cutting off the net connection is like cutting off a face-to-face persons contact to his friends.

Re:So... (1)

epcraig (102626) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338265)

You mean we're only allowed one addiction at a time?

Ehh... (5, Funny)

Arcanix (140337) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338267)

Who needs human contact anyway? Humans are SO out this season.

The real future is robots, sex robots in particular. With one of those I could avoid all human contact and still visit Slashdot regularly while being "serviced".

Re:So... (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338165)

Exactly. I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have net access, because almost all my friends are online, for most of them I don't even know their phone number. It's not the lack of the net connection itself, but the fact that I would be very alone without it. "Go outside" you'd probably say, and I already do that. But after a while, doing stuff outside all by myself gets boring, and I want to do something with my friends.

Indeed, cutting off the net connection would be like cutting off a "normal" person from talking in person to the people he knows.

that's horrible (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338024)

I'm going to give up the internet cold-turkey, and switch to something healthy, like heroin

QUIT AT OWN RISK (4, Funny)

tunabomber (259585) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338195)

Seriously, the withdrawal is a bitch.
I tried to quit the Internet "cold turkey", but went right back on the wagon after two days of seeing dead trolls crawling around the ceiling.
Maybe I should have tried your heroin idea.

Gibbering uncontrollably? (3, Funny)

Ronald Dumsfeld (723277) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338027)

Sheesh!

They should've tried it with some of the right-wing American slashdotters. The researchers would've got a shotgun shoved up their nose and told to reconnect the Internet NOW!

Re:Gibbering uncontrollably? (-1)

Associate (317603) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338050)

As opposed to the liberal minded 'internet access is a basic human right' crowd? Give me a break.

Re:Gibbering uncontrollably? (2, Insightful)

linzeal (197905) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338101)

Access to liberal amounts of interactive and uncensored media should be a modern human right. How else will we have informed citizens, the FREE television and radio signals that are programmed to induce a delusional sense of individual being when in fact you are part of a mass marketed lifestyle based on unsustainable resource depletion?

Re:Gibbering uncontrollably? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338081)

Did CBS News provide you with evidence of your claim?

Re:Gibbering uncontrollably? (3, Funny)

.orvp (208389) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338124)

As opposed to what? Some person who gets "enlightened" by their exposure offline, and decides to form the NLF (Net Liberation Front)?

Suddenly, a hacker breaks into OSTG and changes the /. front page: "Free the people of their addiction, the Net must go, and it must go NOW!" Several server farms are bombed.

The thing is, I am an American Right-Wing Slashdotter, and I found the parent funny, because I know people who would pull a shotgun to someone's face for even mentioning they should give up access for a week.

What I miss (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338028)

I miss most of all google and imdb when I'm disconnected. The daily blogs, where I spend most of my time on the net, not so much.

Quite the same here (4, Interesting)

Jesrad (716567) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338172)

During the summer I generally go spend some time (up to two months, generally three weeks) away from cities and all internet accesses. The only thing I miss then, is the quick and convenient access to detailed information about any subject, so instead I go to the closest public library.

The daily comics, blogs, news, discussion forums, I don't miss at all, even though I tend to spend hours on them.

eh? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338029)

testing testing 1 2 3

Marketing ploy done good (2, Insightful)

Lurks (526137) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338034)

I rent an office in OMD. Now the posters on the wall talking about the power of viral marketing are making rather more sense...

Re:Marketing ploy done good (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338125)

Do they? I mean, the Slashdot crowd doesn't read the articles and tomorrow the most we'll remember about this story is that someone did a study about how we'd react if we couldn't connect to the internet for two weeks. I don't see what good that does for Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark.

Strange (5, Insightful)

mirko (198274) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338035)

It is ratehr when I go hiking in the Swiss Mountains, I suddenly feel empowered...
I guess they should not just disconnect these "users" but rather offer them to practise some intensive sport activities instead.

Hiking in the mountains [wengen-muerren.ch] is a good candidate because it is also rewarding : you get to see some magnificent landscape [gnuart.net] when you reach the top.

Re:Strange (2, Interesting)

linzeal (197905) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338108)

I would rather mine said mountain from a remote location like coastal oregon in a reclaimed victorian hotel turned into office space, but to each his own. I get enough exercise walking to and from the bus station when I am commuting. 2 miles a day is enough, right?

Re:Strange (2, Interesting)

mirko (198274) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338147)

I personally ride my bike to work : 20km per day + fitness.
Your brain needs oxygen to work a more efficient way.
Your bloodstream carries oxygen to your brain.
Your heart manage your bloodstream.
Sport improve your heart pumping.
Do the math.

(BTW, exercising everyday turned me in some endorphin junkie but it still costs me less than when I was still smoking)

Re:Strange (4, Funny)

tukkayoot (528280) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338158)

Haha, chump! I got to see the magnificent landscapes by clicking that link, and I didn't have to move one foot!

Re:Strange (5, Funny)

mirko (198274) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338171)

What you saw were only 2MPixel shots.
What I got was a 4pi steradian immersion as well as the ultimate oxygen fix :)

If only I could. (5, Insightful)

rbruels (253523) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338037)

Honestly, I would give anything to get away from the Internet for two weeks. A disconnection, though probably disorienting for a couple days, would be so pleasant.

Unfortunately, since all my work (read: paychecks) come from the computer, I can't do that.

That sucks.

Re:If only I could. (2, Interesting)

DMUTPeregrine (612791) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338094)

Vacations are great. Go into an area without net, get away from everything. Hike. Canoe. Whatever. I'm a net junkie, but a break is still a good thing.

Re:If only I could. (5, Interesting)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338142)

"Honestly, I would give anything to get away from the Internet for two weeks. A disconnection, though probably disorienting for a couple days, would be so pleasant.

Unfortunately, since all my work (read: paychecks) come from the computer, I can't do that."


It kind of bugs me that the term junkie has reared it's ugly head. I think about my own reasons for using the net a lot, and it occurs to me that there really isn't anything 'bad' about it. I participate on a 3D art community. Staying in tune with that has been quite beneficial to my career, plus I've made good friends out of it. If I had missed those key moments, I wouldn't have what I value today.

It's a little different, like in your case, where the internet creates work for you. When I had a tech support job, I wanted weeks away from a phone and email. Why? Because when that stuff arrived, it was more unpleasantness. But what about when it's all good? What if my phone rang with freelance job offers?

I think about others out there as well. Some people are looking for love. Some people are looking for information about their particular interests. All good things.

Eh. I guess I'm only responding because of what Slashdot's summary of the article said. Yeah I wanna be on the net constantly, but gimme a break, if I hadn't done that I wouldn't be at the job I love right now.

Re:If only I could. (1)

Feanturi (99866) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338180)

Honestly, I would give anything to get away from the Internet for two weeks. A disconnection, though probably disorienting for a couple days, would be so pleasant.

Been there, done that, loved it to pieces, would gladly do it again. Did not give a rat's ass about tech, computers, the net, any of that, while climbing around in a 40,000 year old canyon for several days. Do it, you will remember it forever.

diversify your income (2, Interesting)

KalvinB (205500) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338214)

I run a very reliable (see netcraft result) [netcraft.com] web-server that I can and do happily ignore for long stretches of time.

While I'm stuck working part time as a programmer to pay the bills (a nice gig that allows me to make my own hours while I'm going to school), I've got a web-site that is beginning to show promise as a way to get a decent amount of residual income. The sections that bring in the most revenue are the sections I havn't touched in months. So it's not something I must do constantly.

I'm also making money on the stock market. I'm not getting rich yet, I'm young enough to do proof of concept and risk hundreds of dollars to learn. Once I get financially situated in a real job then I can drop more money on the market to try to increase that income stream.

And when I get out of school, I'll be a high school math teacher making me as free from computers as I want to be. It'll be a hobby and a teaching tool (math demonstration scripts, class sessions in MP3 format, notes, homework assignments, etc) but not a necessity. It's the not being a necessity part that keeps programming interesting.

The trick is to either maximize residual income (so you can work less at a real job) or focus on shifting careers to something that doesn't require a computer constantly.

It's just a matter of figuring out where you want to be and figuring out how to get there.

I don't want to spend my life in front of a computer so I'm not going to.

Ben

Appropriatelly posted well after midnight (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338041)

at least in this part of the world.

Symptoms (5, Insightful)

Pretendstocare (816218) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338042)

"...withdrawal and feelings of loss, frustration and disconnectedness..."

Can't being on the internet all day/night cause this to happen with your real life? or is that just me....

Re:Symptoms (1)

cakefool (801210) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338055)

it passes - embrace /. mmm

Re:Symptoms (4, Insightful)

PacoTaco (577292) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338083)

Maybe those feelings are caused by our soulless consumer culture and the Internet is just a way for people to avoid dealing with them.

this is why i mangage my habit (2, Insightful)

j14ast (258285) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338049)

Like Louis in the second ring world book I take time off the wire for maintnace such as sleep, food and exercise, if for no other reason is that by living longer I may have more time to be online!!

why,yes i was jokeing...

Baudrillard strikes again. (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338051)

Baudrillard was predicting this in 1981 in Fatal Strategies at least, and problably before that no doubt. "Must we put information on a diet?" (13, Semiotext(e))

Light (4, Funny)

Un0r1g1nal (711750) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338053)

<patient>ooooooo whats that big see through thing
<doctor>we call that a window
<pt>urghhh M$ windows
<dr>no no, this is a REAL window, look no leaks

Bout time some of us took a walk outside I think, go walk in the countryside where we cant even get wireless for our laptops :P

Re:Light (2, Funny)

gatesh8r (182908) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338090)

EEEEEEEP Noooooooooo.... please GOD NO! I remember the LAST time I went to "the countryside" -- that big blue room with those brown pillers with... GREEN on top... and the carpet was strange!

Re:Light (0)

msim (220489) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338106)

Sorry to say this, but it sounds like you may need a holiday.

Re:Light (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338112)

what's with the guy hobbling down the hallway in crutches
we call him a gimp
urghhh GIMP
no no, this is a REAL gimp, look it's fully functional

OMG! (-1, Redundant)

Gentlewhisper (759800) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338054)

2 weeks without slashdot?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo.....

Re:OMG! (4, Insightful)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338196)

"2 weeks without slashdot?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo....."

I was about to post how great it'd be to get away from Slashdot for a couple of weeks... then I realized I volunteered to visit.

Crap. It's just like smoking. >:I

I couldnt do it. (4, Funny)

nmoog (701216) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338066)

Im just using this stupid monitor and keyboard until I can get google embedded directly in my eyeballs. I really rely on that sucker.

I was just doing some MENSA puzzles, thinking "man, these are sooo easy". Then I realised I was just googling the answers.

I dont know what I'd do if I had to think for myself for 14 days.

It all depends on where you are... (5, Interesting)

vilain (127070) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338067)

I was in a class for 12 days in Hawaii and didn't miss my net access at all. If I hadn't been with the instructor who wanted to check her email during a day off at a nearby Internet cafe, I wouldn't have bothered. All I had was 132 spam messages anyway.

Now, taking away my books for two weeks would be another matter...

Re:It all depends on where you are... (1)

msim (220489) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338200)

138 spam messages, 12 days? man i get that many per DAY.

I know others that get 10,000spams a day, unfortunately due to them running a buisness they can't change. :-(

Re:It all depends on where you are... (2, Interesting)

JiffyJeff (693994) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338201)

Funny that you mention Hawaii and not having net access...

As a software engineer in Maui, I find that Internet access is easier to get here than just about anywhere else on earth (except maybe San Fran). Sure we have some "dead" areas, but if you were taking a class then I'm pretty sure you were in an area with at least a few sources of broadband connectivity.

Hawaii is a hub to several trans-pacific fiber-optic connections. If you call Australia from California, you're probably talking through us.

Lawsuit time...YEY!!! (5, Interesting)

DigiShaman (671371) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338069)

What's next? People sueing TimeWarner or AOL for getting them addicted?

It WILL happen sooner or later. And at the very least, expect the attept to be made.

Ya, call me cynical. But do I have a reason not to be in this age of "$$$ Jackpot Justice $$$"?

When I'm online... (5, Interesting)

slumpy (304072) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338072)

I feel confident, secured, and empowered.....if only this translated to real life.

gibbering uncontrollably? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338073)

what a headline, however the words "gibbering uncontrollably" were used to describe a smack-head, not the individuals who were deprived of the internet....

a real test (4, Funny)

scottking (674292) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338076)

wanna really see them twitch?

take away their cellphones too.

Re:a real test (1)

pdamoc (771461) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338258)

Dude, that's not a test, that's a cruel and unusual punishment.

And the advert finishes with..... (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338079)

"Ask your doctor about Intergain for withdrawal and feelings of loss, frustration and disconnectedness during inconvient internet movements. Not to be taken while eating, drinking, breathing, typing, sleeping, driving, upgrading or patching. May cause excessive borrowing of toys from children. May also cause a desire for a girlfriend with a 300 baud modem and an 8 bit computer."

I'm affected too... (5, Funny)

NathanM412 (750512) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338082)

I was going to criticize this article as over-exagerated until I realized that I was reading Slashdot at 3:45am because I was having trouble sleeping. Oh well, what can you do?

Re:I'm affected too... (1)

dj42 (765300) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338144)

I had a couple of lucid points until I read this....(3:13 a.m. here...)

gibbering (1, Funny)

Bromrrrrr (166605) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338086)

one begins gibbering uncontrollably

Are they sure these people didn't have an Internet connection?

Interesting (5, Interesting)

I7D (682601) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338089)

I can relate. Freshman year of college (4 yrs ago) I could't have the internet for historical preservation reasons. I'd been addicted to it before I had to lose it, so it sucked at first. I got better grades, got more work done, made a bunch of friends, went out..., but when I got the net back, even though i was sort of better off without it, mentally I was like "ahhhhhh, i'm connected again"

I'm not so sure... (1)

venomkid (624425) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338096)

Whenever my cable net goes out, I feel like I've suddenly just awakened. I go read, I do things around the house, go outside... it's a pretty startling change.

It's an addiction, to be sure. But I usually feel pretty damn good once it's gone. The only pressing problem is that I know if I don't check my mail for a few days I'll have to wade through a deluge of spam.

Re:I'm not so sure... (1)

Ford Prefect (8777) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338137)

Whenever my cable net goes out, I feel like I've suddenly just awakened. I go read, I do things around the house, go outside... it's a pretty startling change.

A more interesting variation is when your network connection works fine, but your (only) monitor is very much dead. This has happened to me. However, I still managed to telnet into a BBS and post messages, having inadvertently memorised all the necessary key-presses.

Thinking about it, I should have printed out some man-pages and got Festival [ed.ac.uk] up and running...

re: (1)

akarnid (591191) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338107)

Erm I just returned from my 2 week vacation and I just reconnected, and I don't feel any withdrawal at all. Pretty biased study if you ask me.

Doesn't surprise me in the least. (1, Flamebait)

John_Allen_Mohammed (811050) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338109)

We're talking about americans, they're worthless to begin with. Should it come as any surprise that the information highway gives them a sense of empowerment ? It shouldn't. Just feed these people a plate of self-esteem in a pill called Prozac and they'll feel better about their sorry lives.

I just spent a month up north fishing Georgian Bay with my brother. We didn't bring cell phones, pagers, laptops, nadda, zip. Did either of us experience withdrawal symptoms ? No. Personally, I didn't even think of a computer till the third week and that was only for a fleeting moment.

Re:Doesn't surprise me in the least. (0, Offtopic)

John_Allen_Mohammed (811050) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338198)

HaHa, go ahead and mod my post as flamebait. For once the mods get it right. Doesn't matter because every comment I post on slashdot is -1 to begin with, thats what happens when your Karma is "terrible."

The Karma whoring bitches can envy my position and my lack of need for this false community. But that's why the above mentioned people would be jittery and foaming at the mouth if they lost access to this online shit-hole called slashdot.org.

"Disconnected"? (3, Insightful)

Pantero Blanco (792776) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338110)

I'm online a good bit of the time...but when I'm away from the Internet for more than a few days, I don't get some strange emotion called "Disconnected". That would imply that I'm away from part of my body or mind.

I do feel a bit annoyed that I can't talk with friends who aren't physically near me (I don't have a cell phone), and it's inconvenient when I want to look something up, but that's about it. I really don't see how someone who mostly just chats when they're online could get "addicted" to the Internet.

It's the beginning of singularity (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338119)

Where humans willingly merge with technology to create one giant entity

Experiment Cuts Off Online Junkies from Internet (2, Funny)

Hudjakov (552632) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338120)

I thought this kind of experiments were illegal since World War II

Hi my name is John (4, Funny)

l0ungeb0y (442022) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338128)

I'm an Webaddict.I didn't see it at first, how it hurt my family and loved ones. I didn't care to think about the people I'd rob to pay my subscription fees to the porn sites. And there's so many porn sites, soon the 7-11 wasn't enough, I had to hit the Shell stations and the Stop 'n Go, one morning I was real desperate and hit up the Krispy Kreme and I even took all the change in the big styrofoam cup, heh... I still can't forget the helpless look on that guys face. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was because majormellons.com had just become a thing called a port hole or something... 35 brands of big busty broads... I ... I just couldn't help myself or something... yeah... and so much tit, more tit than you'd ever seen before, soon I was at 200 subsrciptions to all these other port holes and I was like the tit god of the frikken universe! All those girls at my finger tips, mpegs, jpeg galleries, live web feeds! All of it Mine MIne MIne!!! I was a real live electronic sex god! Whoooyah muthfukahhh! A sex god!!!! You hear that? A real live electronic sex ... mmmmfhhhhhh ... sex godmmmpthhhhh....

"And now we'd like to introduce another new member, Neville"

Re:Hi my name is John (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338216)

Dude! I thought you were kidding, but then I saw your portfolio [musecube.com] and realized that you probably weren't :-|

Okay, you probably were. Those are real live girls, so maybe it's not all that bad yet :-p

You know you're reading /. too much when (5, Funny)

teamhasnoi (554944) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338129)

You're posting, at 3 am. to this story.
You have over 2200 posts.
You mod your pals +5 Funny and -1 Troll. In real life.
You constantly Profit! from ???
You can imagine a beowulf cluster of sandwitches.
You wonder if linux can run on your girlfreind.
You snicker at the last one, because you don't know any girls.
You can spot a goatse link from a mile away.
You are no longer shocked by goatse.
You still can't figure out why /. changed to a non-number karma system, if pageviews make them $$$, you probably bought the new server which you constantly stress.
You never get mod points.
You know all my posts are hilarious.

Re:You know you're reading /. too much when (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338160)

You're posting, at 3 am. to this story.
Nope, it's 10:23

You have over 2200 posts.
1869

You mod your pals +5 Funny and -1 Troll. In real life.
You constantly Profit! from ???
You can imagine a beowulf cluster of sandwitches.
You wonder if linux can run on your girlfreind.
You snicker at the last one, because you don't know any girls.
Nope, it's lame.

You can spot a goatse link from a mile away.
True

You are no longer shocked by goatse.
Also true, I'd even say it's funny as Hell !

You still can't figure out why /. changed to a non-number karma system, if pageviews make them 3979$, you probably boug
ht the new server which you constantly stress.

I am not sure I care about this lame one.

You never get mod points.
I do not want some.

You know all my posts are hilarious.
In Soviet Russia, maybe.

Re:You know you're reading /. too much when (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338251)

The only thing funnier than a joke is when a geek takes his time to answer all things that was said in jest :-)

Re:You know you're reading /. too much when (1)

metlin (258108) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338234)

Hahaha, I was agreeing with you until I read -

You wonder if linux can run on your girlfreind.

Girlfriend? Now I know you were kidding. Liar.

Cold turkey isn't the answer (1)

Ronald Dumsfeld (723277) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338138)

As far as I can tell they've just expected people to carry on their lives as normal, minus Internet access. That isn't going to work. If there are no other changes to the person's environment/lifestyle then they're left with a gap where they'd use the Internet for recreation or socialising.

People should try avoiding the Internet when they go on holiday (you know, go outside, expose yourself to the daystar, etc.). If you can manage that, then perhaps you can cut back on Internet usage in day-to-day life too.

I'm out of place. (1)

DiscordOfFive (778099) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338139)

I'm starting to think I don't belong on /. I mean, whenever I get a new girlfriend (disqualifier #1), I generally stay away from my computer for days, if not weeks, at a time (disqualifier #2).

Re:I'm out of place. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338161)

Yes, yes you are.

phh, 2 weeks? (1)

Deanalator (806515) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338146)

I visit my parents for a couple hours a week, and I'm pretty antsy by the end because they have dialup and I have a 5M or so line where I live. Ive been spending about 16 hours a day online though (2 hours eating 6 hours sleep).

You should see when they cut off my connection for a couple days for MPAA violations, I pretty much live in the linux lab (open 24 hours for cs students), or just wander the streets with my laptop hopping from network to network.

Nerd-free holidays (1)

DrHyde (134602) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338153)

Oh good, this means that I can go away on holiday to remote places and be confident that I won't be surrounded by anti-social nerds.

Human rights? Amnesty International? (2, Funny)

Vo0k (760020) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338164)

How can they conduct such cruel experiments?!
They want to ban cloning humans, they protest nuclear technology development, yet they allow such inhuman monstrosities to happen! I'm shocked and disgusted!

All the loops! (1)

johndoejersey (679948) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338166)

From article:

"I haven't talked to people I usually talk to and have been tempted to go on instant-messenger because I feel out of the loop,"

"I'm starting to miss emailing my friends - I feel out of the loop"

Are these people not aware of telephones, or good old hand written letters?

Re:All the loops! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338210)

I know neither the phone number or snail mail address of most of my online friends. Why should I?

Do you know how to send people a telegram in case the phone dies, or the snail-man goes on strike?

Cold Turkey For A Week (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338168)

I'll be going cold turkey next week since I'm going on holiday.

I think I'll just miss the sense of community I get from various forums I visit on the net (such as slashdot). But to be honest I'm looking forward to a compleate break from computers for the week since I spend the whole day at work on them, then most of the evening when I get home.

I think I need more of a real life social life to help get away from what ever addiction I have :)

Civilization is doomed (4, Insightful)

Feanturi (99866) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338173)

"We couldn't plan a weekend getaway," confirmed Kim V, presumably from the house in which she had been imprisoned since the web embargo.

So Kim's parents, nor her grandparents, were ever able to go anywhere for the weekend? How in the hell did we as a species ever get this far, that we can suddenly become a bunch of helpless twits? Christ it's amazing, that in such a short time, humanity has gone so far backwards, head firmly planted in ass, as to be generating shit like this. I do take the article to be something of a joke, I mean it *has* to be.. Fuck, this is crazy, I have to stop drinking while reading this site...

internet users feel confident,secure and empowered (2, Funny)

bushboy (112290) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338181)

"internet users feel confident,secure and empowered"

Hmmm, I always wondered why my voice has taken on a booming quality and how instead of sticking to the shadows when walking, I now stride confidentally down the street waving at everyone I meet.

And that's just when I'm online !

I always knew this internet thingy was good for you and now I have my proof !

It's So True (1)

lakiolen (785856) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338187)

If I am unable to connect to the wireless service provided by my school whenever I have my laptop out, I feel as though I'm shut off from the rest of society. If I can't access the interent while working on my laptop, I can't get any work done. I've tried, but I always end up doing something else. -Average College Internet Addict

Why the hell would I want to give up the Internet? (5, Funny)

lewp (95638) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338191)

All of you people are so interesting.

Convulsions and mouth foaming (1)

DanglingDongle (798400) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338193)

I strongly advise printing out http://www.thetoque.net/031118/internetdown.htm/ [thetoque.net] in case of just such an emergency. It could be the difference between life and death. DD

How did they exactly deprive.... (1)

novakyu (636495) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338212)

...the subjects of Internet?

Lock them up in their own house, cut their phone/cable? (In that case, are they sure that the withdrawal symptom is due to withdrawal from Internet or from fresh air...who am I kidding?)

Or were they just relying on the subjects' integrity and sense of honor to hold up against the overwhelming withdrawal symptoms? And did they really expect the subjects to be honest about it, if they slipped up?

IDK, but something smells fishy here. This sounds just like the M$ report that says total cost of ownership for linux is higher than M$ servers.

Or this is just a big joke and /. editors are a part of it.

I did my own experiment (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10338213)

Last summer, my Linux firewall got 0wn3d when I neglected to update my WuFTP daemon. As a result, I had to bypass my firewall box and plug my main machine directly to the 'net. Well, I was too lazy to fix the Linux box, and lo and behold after a couple days my Windows box was 0wn3d too, this time with a spam trojan. Shaw Cable disconnected my modem due to the spam, and I was left trying to figure out a way to get updated virus tables on my box with nothing that would reasonably connect to the internet.

During that week, I was without the internet that occupied me some 12 hours a day. I didn't become incoherent, or babble, or anything. I became productive. I made myself breakfast every morning. I cleaned my apartment for the first time in a year. I even organized my tape collection, went through my old papers, and finished a model starship that had spent 7 years in drydock.

So it isn't as serious as this study leads it to believe. Likely they didn't get people who had internet COMPULSIONS (they aren't addictions, which require actual physical or chemical dependence) like myself, but rather people with out-and-out internet PATHOLOGIES. There's a world of difference between something you like so much you don't usually give it up (X-box, internet, TV, sex, rebuilding an engine) and something that you irrationally can't live without.

We are Borg (2, Funny)

matt_martin (159394) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338218)

Please, plug me back into the collective - I feel alone, empty, when away from it...

If you leave the internet.. (1)

mumblestheclown (569987) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338244)

If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways
With hours left time on our sides
Now it's fading fast
Every second every moment
We've got to--we've gotta make it last

props to those who get the joke, and jeers to those who mod this down because they don't

airplane quote... (1)

Festering Leper (456849) | more than 9 years ago | (#10338249)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit:
smoking.
drinking.
sniffing glue.
amphetamines.
using the internet.

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