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Dear Microsoft Windows ...

timothy posted more than 9 years ago | from the oh-darling-how-could-you dept.

Windows 617

SpaceCanary writes "I recently read this open letter to Windows and I think it's pretty funny. The guy writes a letter to his OS as if he was breaking up with it. It's a bit strange, but finally more people are starting to see the light and moving away from Windows. The writer chronicles his relationship with the versions of Windows and finally is able to move on in the end."

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funny ? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387000)

not really...

Re:funny ? (-1, Redundant)

Tribbin (565963) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387015)

That it's slashdotted with only one post, I think it is.

Re:funny ? (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387031)

you must be new here... anything that is M$ bashing is funny here!

Re:funny ? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387169)

How is this offtopic?

Dear Microsoft Windows (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387002)

I LOVE YOU.

XXOO

CmdrTaco

Re:Dear Microsoft Windows (2, Funny)

Tribbin (565963) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387065)

You spoofing bastard!

Will the real CmdrTaco please that up?

Mr. Torvalds

FP (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387004)

whore

Dear Internet, (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387007)

Dear Internet,

I wish you weren't filled with self-righteous idiots who can only express themselves in manifestos, open letters, and rants. I wish people knew how to write meaningful criticism instead of half-hearted sarcasm.

Sincerely,
John Q. Irony

Re:Dear Internet, (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387060)

I'm TrackBacking my blog to this post. Anyone have a Permalink?

Re:Dear Internet, (1)

das_katz_socrates (641745) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387085)

I agree with all the self rightous out of the way the pornographers would have it all to themselves.

Re:Dear Internet, (4, Funny)

mabu (178417) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387141)


Dear John Q. Irony

We understand how important it is for people to feel someone listens when they offer comments and suggestions. As a result, we've developed this automated attendant to help process your inquiry.

Thank you very much for your letter. Your letter is important to us. But first please check our knowledge base, F.A.Q., and unofficial message forums. If this fails, fill out the 3-page customer service ticket at http://internet.com/cust/level1/sectionA/form1a.cf m

If this fails, you can speak to a customer service representative but please make sure to do so during standard business hours in the country of Pakistan, and have Java, ActiveX, Flash, Quicktime and the latest version of IE before you visit the user support area.

Thank you. We do care.

- Internet Inc.

Wrong moderation (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387145)

It should be -1 redundant.

/.ed (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387008)

Something tells me his server still uses Windows though...

Re:/.ed (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387142)

You mean you actually tried to RTFA?

Re:/.ed (4, Informative)

southpolesammy (150094) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387201)

Actually, it looks like Linux....

Netcraft output
---------------
Linux Apache 29-Feb-2004 69.5.25.92 FUTUREQUEST INC

MOD PARENT UP! EXEMPLARY POST! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! (1)

MondoMor (262881) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387251)

That comment was both witty and completely unpredictable. You should've logged in to post it so that you could bathe in the +1 moderation points you so richly deserve.

Thanks to you and posters like you, this site is a relevant and innovative utopian ideal that puts the lie to the argument that Lunix nerds are unfunny, emotionally-stunted zealots.

Bravo.

Dear Windows... (4, Funny)

bobbis.u (703273) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387009)

Well, I bet he doesn't have a real girlfriend to write the letter to! If he does, he probably spends more time with his OS (or should that be SO?!)

Re: Dear Windows... (4, Funny)

MooseByte (751829) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387161)


"Well, I bet he doesn't have a real girlfriend to write the letter to!"

And future dating prospects are equally bleak when women find out he ended the affair to pursue his newfound love and infatuation with a slightly oily flightless bird that smells of herring.

(They sure are cuddly at night though...)

SC? (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387012)

SC == SpaceCanary? I think so.

You found your own letter pretty funny? Thanks for sharing.

Re:SC? (1)

sik0fewl (561285) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387309)

I think I speak for just about everybody when I say I think he's the only one.

Re:SC? (4, Funny)

lukewarmfusion (726141) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387334)

That was my first thought. Shameless.

In other news... ...my mom thinks I'm handsome. ...I think I'm hilarious. ...when I drink, I become a better singer.

Lynching niggers (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387017)

IS GOOD FOR AMERICA!!!!!!

voted for deletion (0, Offtopic)

clarkie.mg (216696) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387076)

we should have a "voting for deletion" feature in /.

Well (1, Interesting)

sulli (195030) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387019)

More people are moving away from Linux [slashdot.org] , too. Will we see their Dear Tux letters?

Re:Well (2, Interesting)

yagu (721525) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387116)

More people are moving away? More people are moving away than towards Linux? More people are moving away from Linux than are moving away from Windows? More people are moving away from Linux than moving towards Windows? Sheesh. Your "thesis" needs work. You've basically stated nothing.

That said, should I see a Dear Tux letter somewhere I'll post it on /..

Re:Well (0, Flamebait)

rokcathang (796778) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387211)

Ha. We're all proud, I'm sure your high school teachers think very highly of you. Here's a hint: A statement of fact does not and never will consist of a thesis, since a thesis by definition is a belief, not a fact. However, this does not invalidate facts and their power of argument.

Don't you have a test to study for?

first +1 post? (1)

bmalnad (808193) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387021)

If I had visual studio and the .Net framework on Mao OS X, I'd throw away all of my other computers.

Re:first +1 post? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387089)

Mao OS X?

Dear bmalnad,

I noticed you misspelled "Mac." You replaced the "c" with an "o." I formally request you stop drinking.

Sincerely,
Some anonymous coward

Re:first +1 post? (1)

DavidLeblond (267211) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387109)

It may not be Visual Studio, OR .Net but you could always try Mono.

When I got my Mac I said the same thing... that I couldn't get rid of my PC completely because I had just gotten a fresh copy of Visual Studio .NET and I still wanted to tinker with it.

Haven't booted the PC since... (of course thats not saying Visual Studio sucks, its certainly more mature than Xcode... but not booting Windows is worth it.)

Re:first +1 post? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387192)

Yeah... but 1/10th the develepment studio is just not really going to cut it...

And if you are really serious about development, then it is well worth booting windows to use. I develop for Windows, Man and Linux and I do about 95% of my development of all cross platform code on Windows. The tools are head and shoulders above anything else.

Then I boot Linux and turn on the mac when it comes to doing final test and debugging only.

Re:first +1 post? (5, Funny)

das_katz_socrates (641745) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387123)

If I had visual studio and the .Net framework on Mao OS X, I'd throw away all of my other computers.

Mao OS was that the one the chinese were developing?

Paperclip response (5, Funny)

suso (153703) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387022)

Hey (*dink* *dink*), it looks like you're trying to write a letter.......

Re:Paperclip response (1)

AdolChristin (694990) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387186)

OH, ARGH! Not a Microsoft Office assistant joke. That's like, the worst kind of humor!

Re:Paperclip response (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387245)

Errrrr, why did you bother posting that comment at all?

Re:Paperclip response (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387220)

What the f**k did you call me clippy? Dink dink?!? That's it, we're through!

Re:Paperclip response (1)

suso (153703) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387264)

No no no. The (*dink* *dink*) is the sound the paperclip makes when it taps on the glass of your monitor. Words enclosed in ** implies an action or sound.

Paperclip response XP (5, Funny)

Anonymous Custard (587661) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387244)

Hey (*dink* *dink*), it looks like you're trying to write a letter....... [Help me] [No thanks]

(click "No thanks")

Okay, you don't want my help! Should I close?

(click "yes")

Okay, I'll close. Bye! Shall I do a little dance as I go?

(click "Hell, no")

Come on, I love dancing! Pleeease?

(click "Do you want to find out how many times you can bend a paper clip out of shape before it snaps?")

Hmm, you make a persuasive argument. I think I'll just close now.

Re:Paperclip response (3, Funny)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387310)

Clippy: "It looks like you're trying to write a hate letter [theregister.co.uk] . Please select from one or more of the following hate styles:"
[X] Nazi
[_] Bagdad Bob
[X] SCO Lawyer
[_] Lisp geek forced to use Java at work
[_] Satan

So he's coming out of the closet, finally... (0, Flamebait)

MondoMor (262881) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387026)

Leaving Windows is like going Gay (Mac) or Asexual (Linux). Have fun in the sexual fringes, writing-a-letter-to-your-OS-guy.

Slashdotted already (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387029)

maybe he's running a windows server

So what's new? (1, Troll)

Skiron (735617) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387035)

Anybody could have wrote that letter (AOL users excempt).

Re:So what's new? (0)

j1bb3rj4bb3r (808677) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387112)

I'm not even going to touch this one...

Dear Borg (1, Funny)

nycheetah (172069) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387039)

Dear borg...I mean Micro$oft....
No, wait, dear Borg$oft...

Ummmmm. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387041)

Slow news day?

goodbye server (2, Funny)

wattersa (629338) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387043)

Inaccessible, oh well. Is it on IIS? ;-)

The idea reminds of Microsoft Wife [infolanka.com] , a joke that made the rounds years ago.

Slahdotted (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387048)

In 3-2-1

Dear Server, (5, Funny)

wikdwarlock (570969) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387049)

I'm sorry to have left files on you that were posted to /. We had some great times, you and I... sharing files w/ people all around the globe. I noticed that you started to glow red and smoke, but thought this was just a signal of your burning passion for me. Alas, I can now see that the pressure of servicing so many other people has taken its toll on you and you've succumbed. I'm sorry to see you go. Sincerely, Joe User P.S. You will receive a bill for the burnt hole in my carpet.

Someone needs to (5, Funny)

AbbyNormal (216235) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387050)

write an Obituary for this guy's webserver.

"IT was a spunky server, full of life and function, however the Good Lord deemed it necessary to remove this server from this world with an act of Slashdot".

Dear webserver (5, Funny)

putch (469506) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387052)

see you in hell.

Wow... (5, Funny)

JoeLinux (20366) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387054)

A dear John letter to an OS. Reminds me of when I had my last Pascal class on a VMS/VAX system:

Dear VMS:
You have tortured my life for the last time. I hate you with a pure and perfect hatred. Your renaming of my files is maddening. Your syntax is arcane and pointless. I would prefer attempting to cluster 500 Windows ME systems.

It's not me, it's definitely you.

Re:Wow... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387185)

As someone who has moved from Linux to VMS for some server operations, I wonder what exactly you dislike so much about VMS? If by arcane you mean directory syntax: logicals, especially appropriately partitioned to groups/system/user/process/etc., are a lot less unwieldy than environment variables and the one-hierarchy-to-rule-them-all(except-when-we-igno re-one-of-the-n-standards) system. *What* renaming are you referring to? Have you even *tried* VMS clustering? I'm not a VMS zealot - I've barely used it for more than a few months - but it has to be the most unappreciated non-academic OS still under development.

Re:Wow... (3, Funny)

Procrastin8er (791570) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387292)

Can you give your ex my number? We went steady for quite a while many years back, until I was lead astray by a sexy girl named Windows. Since then I have discovered that, despite her good looks, Windows is unstable and unreliable and pretty much a bitch. I long for the steady, reliable VMS I took to the prom. my number is 1-800-VAX-/VMS

Re:Wow... (5, Funny)

bourne_id (812415) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387311)

Quote: I would prefer attempting to cluster 500 Windows ME systems.

I tried to visualize attempting such a feat. My brain rejected the idea totally, much like a coredump. I now have a headache for my heresy...

JMD

quickest slashdotting? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387057)

what's the record? Them darn paid subscribers nuked the thing before us plebes had a chance to laugh at it.

Dear Slashdot... (5, Funny)

kkovach (267551) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387058)

Ahhhhhh! I'm on fire! Ahhhhhhh!

- Web Server

Article Text (4, Informative)

LanMan04 (790429) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387059)

Dear Microsoft Windows,

In retrospect, this letter should be of no surprise to you. For years now I have stood by you despite the terrible things people have said. We have always managed to work through our serious problems but too many things have been swept under the table. I do not think I can stand (idly) by you any longer.

What's that? No, another service pack will not help, not this time. I remember when we met, a warm April day, in 1992. For years I had been hearing about you, about your graphical user interface, innovations, and problems in the courtroom... I had seen you here and there, but it was not until that fateful day, April 6, that our relationship became serious. Though you had changed with the times, never like this. I was almost knocked off my feet when I first saw you. Right then I knew it, you had to be mine. Who else could offer me what you could? I wanted, no, I needed, your TrueType font support, your video playback capability, your color screen savers...

As time progressed so did my needs. Our affair took its next serious step on August 24, 1995. At the time I thought our happiness would never end. You brought me places I never thought possible. How could I refuse your Plug-and-Play cabability or your TCP/IP stack? I mean, you gave up your best friend, DOS, so our relationship could progress unhindered. It hurts me to look back at us, two starry-eyed lovers wanting nothing more than each other's company.

Then it almost all came tumbling down. June 25, 1998. What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? You changed, like in 1995, but not like I thought you would. Still clinging to your DOS kernel, like a small, lost child clutching its teddy bear. Where was the OS I had learned to love? You feebly proffered USB support, DVD playback, and a Quick Launch toolbar, but you were beginning to mix with a bad crowd. With that invasive Internet Explorer. I knew about what happened... You let him access your Explorer. I thought that was something special between us.

Though we had a bit of a falling out afterwards, my love was rekindled after February 17th, 2000. You were once again new- Professional- just like I thought you could one day be. I knew you were once again stable, not like back in 1998, and that you were the only OS for me. I remembered what had drawn me you you in the first place- ease of use, speed, your stunning looks, your compatibility. I remember saying, "I hope things never change because I love you the way you are."

I thought that what we had meant something- your transformation in 2000 seemed to cement that. I know now that I was wrong. By Sept 17 you tried to change for the Millennium. I saw right through you- trying to settle down and fit in better with the 'home-user'. Did you think I would love you more because of a few cosmetic changes? I was not impressed with the full-color icons, fancy skins, or your new media player. I thought what we had was deeper than that. Luckily you gave me a choicer, I did not have to choose the new you, the old version would be fine. I know you meant well but you just shouldn't have done that, especially with the '1998' episode so fresh in my mind.

By October 25, 2001 more changes had come. Everyone told be how great the new you would be. I got so tired of hearing about how up to date, easy to work with, and slick looking you had become. That was all I could take. You changed so much that I didn't even know you any more. I really dug some of your new features but the old you, the you from 2000, could have done all this. So why did you have to change at all? I didn't want to upgrade you or make you into something you were not.

Well, like I wrote, I have reached my limit. Its going to take more than an automatic update to fix our relationship. I just don't feel like I know you anymore. For example, do you know what I found on the computer a few days ago? Spyware! I wonder who let that in...

Windows, I know you will try to change, but I have been hurt too many times. You should know that I have been seeing someone else for a few months now. She is fun, easy going, and will do something for me that you never even considered, share her source code.

I don't know what else to say- we had a good run, but now its over. Pack up your Media Player, your browser, hell, take Minesweeper if you have to. I am sure see each other from time to time but I know one thing, I'll never again have to depend on you.

Yours no longer,
S C

Re:Article Text (-1, Flamebait)

LanMan04 (790429) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387317)

Why did I get modded down from 5 to 4? Not informative enough for you? =)

Re:Article Text (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387346)

1992?!

Damn. Am I the only person in the world who stuck with DOS until 1998? I only moved to Windows when it was a necessity and then moved to linux almost the same year.

Why shouldn't it sound like a breakup letter? (5, Funny)

neuro.slug (628600) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387061)

After all, using Windows is like being with someone who:

- Only lets you do things with her approval
- Requires money once in a while to 'upgrade' her features
- Doesn't allow you to even think about seeing anyone else besides her

And to top it all off, you end up contracting a dozen or so STDs even though she says that she always uses protection.

Damn, that was my first wife to a "T"... (3, Funny)

the_rajah (749499) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387191)

except it only took one STD from her to call it quits.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Mark Twain

It's a Marriage of convenience anyways... (4, Insightful)

bADlOGIN (133391) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387315)

Lets face it. Most people stick with Windows because it's there and it takes effort to get something better. Get a major PC manufacturer to start shipping some dual boot systems and see how well it fares...

Re:Why shouldn't it sound like a breakup letter? (1)

southpolesammy (150094) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387338)

Also, "whenever the littlest thing goes wrong, the whole world comes crashing down around her..."

Wait, lemme guess... (2, Interesting)

njfuzzy (734116) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387064)

Slashdotted before the first comment again?

Here's a crazy idea. Maybe Slashdot itself needs a caching system. If linking to an article, the default could be to make a cache and link to that.

I know everyone is proud of the Slashdot effect, but shouldn't it be more of an embarrassment than a point of pride?

Re:Wait, lemme guess... (0)

wikdwarlock (570969) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387098)

This must be your first day here, right?

Re:Wait, lemme guess... (2, Informative)

Talian (746379) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387176)

Pleace read the FAQ. [slashdot.org]

Re:Wait, lemme guess... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387323)

do you always come up with these brand new fresh ideas? You're quite an innovator!

Right on! (5, Funny)

tgd (2822) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387071)

It's a bit strange, but finally more people are starting to see the light and moving away from Windows.

Yeah, because everything you see written on the Internet can be extrapolated into assumptions about the general population.

And you thought goatse was just one freaky guy...

Dear Linux... (0, Flamebait)

MSFanBoi (695480) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387077)

You've never worked for me before, you do nothing that my current OS cannot do just as well, you don't work with all my current software, and I don't have 10 hours to futz around with settings to get you to work well with my video card and monitor, as well as mouse, DVD burner and TV tuner. Linux, your are nothing more than a waste of time and supported by a bunch of bozo's full of hot air and FUD...

Jonesing on XP (1)

erick99 (743982) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387078)

Dear Windows, I suspect we are in a co-dependent relationship. I feel obliged to continue. I have enabled M$ with my money and Windows has me addicted to the lazy way of computing. So, I am Jonesing on XP. It's not so bad - as long as I use a clean syringe for each reboot.

So... (5, Funny)

tunabomber (259585) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387079)

Was Windows cheating on him and allowing some script kiddie to access its private parts or something?

Dear Windows (1)

jstrain (648252) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387088)

Please don't succomb to a slashdotting. Never mind...

Dear Windows... (5, Interesting)

scowling (215030) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387108)

You let me run the games I want to play, the industry-standard word processing and publishing software I need to use in my job, and haven't crashed on me in months. While your security is questionable, at least I know that there is some accountability in your design.

I'll be home by 5.

Reminds me... (5, Interesting)

SimianOverlord (727643) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387114)

Of a readers letter I really enjoyed from The Register UK IT mag. It was an answer to an article about Microsoft saying basically they get too much stick. Managed to track it down via Google: Enjoy, if it's your thing.

..

"Microsoft simply makes some fairly mediocre software and charges a lot for it."

No.

Microsoft deliberately designs software that is inherently insecure and refuses to fix the fundamental design flaws no matter how bad the outcome is.

When Microsoft merged IE and the desktop, almost ten years ago now, I immediately acted to get IE and Outlook banned at work. Why? Because using the same APIs to operate on trusted (local) and untrusted (email, internet) objects makes every program that uses those APIs responsible for determining, independently, whether an object is trusted or not.

I and every security administrator I knew wrote Microsoft telling them this was a horrible idea. Nothing. They ignored the security community and went on to actually build IE in to the next release of Windows so you couldn't leave it out, as part of their game-plan to try and outflank the DoJ.

I didn't know what the result would be, but I knew it would be bad. I did what I could to discourage our users from running IE and Outlook, and waited.

We didn't have long to wait.

When the Melissa virus showed up, I thought, "OK, this should let them know they've got a problem. They'll pull out IE and settle, and we'll be able to secure Windows again". Boy, was I naive.

Here we are, it's 2004 instead of 1996, and there are still weekly exploits found in IE, Outlook, Windows Media Player, programs that use the MSHTML control. Get rid of that and you'd cut the virus problem by a factor of 10 or 100. 90-99% of the time spent fighting and cleaning up after viruses should be billed directly to Redmond, and because they did it to illegally avoid complying with the agreement they had with the DoJ, there should be criminal charges on top of that.

Microsoft doesn't merely charge a lot for mediocre software, they deliberately and knowingly force people to chew up lifetimes fighting a problem that should not exist, and they do it to win a little extra market share for a secondary product that they don't even charge money for.

Dear Windows (1)

multiplexo (27356) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387119)

...I also couldn't take the way that you couldn't handle the traffic from /. readers when I posted one of my rants on the web. The whole point of posting these rants was to get noticed, but I couldn't do that since you were so easily slashdotted.

Co-dependency... (2, Interesting)

the_rajah (749499) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387138)

I'm trying hard to break the relatioship off, but here at work there are those pesky old DOS programs that I still need to cross-assemble 8085 code for legacy hardware that still has useable life in it and old DOS based schematic programs that generated the drawings for that hardware back in the 80's. Oh and then there's the in-circuit emulators from the 80's that run with DOS interfaces. {{sigh}} At least I can go home at night to my own computer that runs SeSE 9.1, my new true-love. Shhh, don't say anything to my office Windows machine, though. It hasn't yet figured out that it's been dual booted.

The author is a lucky guy that he was able to get out of that abusive relationship.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Mark Twain

You know .... (1)

dep01 (730107) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387140)

You know you've written something GOLD when someone else finds it and submits it to slashdot... Ahh, to be among the web gods...

Can't get to site (3, Interesting)

UrgleHoth (50415) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387143)

Seems to be /.ed

But I'm making the change at home. I have a family, so I have to consider non-geek computer needs. I've ordered the imac G5.

Now, for the mac users out there, what would you use in place of virtualpc?

Re:Can't get to site (1)

kylector (650096) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387344)

I believe there is a port of Wine for MacOS X. What do you need virtual pc for, anyway? Replace all that old software if you're taking the plunge. Are you just trying to run office? Much better alternatives than VPC (such as office mac or AbiWord, OO.org, etc). Are you trying to run some obscure app only for Windows? You'd be surprised--there's probably a port or clone of it for MacOS X or at least in linux land somewhere, and you can probably run it using Apple's X11. Get Fink Commander, it will help you with many X11 related pieces of software.

Drivers are why I stay with Windows (1)

tepples (727027) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387150)

If a fellow doesn't know how to drive, and he depends on his GF as a driver, then how could he continue to get around after breaking up with his GF?

hmmm... (1)

5m477m4n (787430) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387154)

My only hope is he was trying to be +5 funny. Otherwise it sounds -5 loser... He's either got a good sense of humor, or needs to get out more.

Dear Slashdot (4, Interesting)

NoInfo (247461) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387157)

In retrospect, this letter should be of no surprise to you. For years now I have stood by you despite the terrible things you have said about Microsoft. We have always managed to work through our serious problems but too many things have been swept under the table. I do not think I can stand (idly) by you any longer.

What's that? No, another DOOM3 review will not help, not this time.

I remember when we met, a warm April day, in 1999. For years I had been hearing about you, about your terrible green HTML of death, Open Source advocation, poor social skills, web server obliteration, and problems raising money... I had seen you here and there, but it was not until that fateful day, April 6, that our relationship became serious. I was almost knocked off my feet when I first saw you. Right then I knew it, you had to be mine. Who else could offer me what you could? I wanted, no, I needed, your Cowboy Neal polls, your Insightful comments, your great techno music [mattie.net] ...

As time progressed so did my needs. Our affair took its next serious step on August 24, 2001. At the time I thought our happiness would never end. You brought me places I never thought possible. How could I refuse your IOCCC results or your Napster articles? I mean, you gave up your best friend, financial independence, so our relationship could progress unhindered with OSDN. It hurts me to look back at us, two starry-eyed lovers wanting nothing more than each other's first posts.

Well, like I wrote, I have reached my limit. Its going to take more than mod points to fix our relationship. I just don't feel like I know you anymore. For example, do you know what I found on the site a few days ago? A dupe! I wonder who let that in...

Slashdot, I know you will try to change, but I have been hurt too many times. You should know that I have been seeing someone else for a few months now. She is fun [moveon.org] , easy going, and will do something for me that you never even considered, oust the president.

I don't know what else to say- we had a good run, but now its over. Pack up your Beowulf cluster, your SCO stories, hell, take slashcode if you have to. I am sure we'll see each other from time to time but I know one thing, I'll never again have to depend on you.

Yours no longer,
N I

For more Open Letters.... (1)

BlueThunderArmy (751258) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387173)

McSweeneys.net has a section titled "Open Letters to People or Entities Unlikely to Respond." This is longer than the typical McSweeney's letter, but with the same sensibility. Check it out for a laugh.

I'm sorry (5, Funny)

numbware (691928) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387181)

Windows, I'm sorry about my affair with Linux. If it will make you happy... I wasn't root. You know I'm your only admin. What? Everyone you know is your admin? By default? What are you, some kind of whore?! This is over! (Stomps out of room crying).

Spyware... (3, Insightful)

Ogrez (546269) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387216)

For example, do you know what I found on the computer a few days ago? Spyware! I wonder who let that in...

You did... surfing porn sites and clicking YES on every popup asking you if you wanted to install gain/gator/cometcursor/mysearch...

You can blame IE, you can blame Microsoft... but in the end... the real admins know... BLAME THE USERS!!!

People *are* moving away from Windows. . . (5, Funny)

Sialagogue (246874) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387217)


Just last week I read an article where Microsoft's consumer OS market share has been continually dropping -- down from from a 6 year high of 108 percent to 105 percent just last quarter.

The Microsoft rep that lives under the sink in my kitchen was quick to strike back, however, telling me that the drop came only as a result of survey companies no longer screening for "dirtbag hippies and Communists."

I'm hopeful.

linuxxx (2, Funny)

dotslasher_sri (762515) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387232)

She is fun, easy going, and will do something for me that you never even considered, share her source code.

hmm so afterall linux is a she :p

Did anyone else cry when reading that? (1)

soybean (1120) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387250)

I guess I'm a little emotional, but seriously, that was sad. :(

You know what.. (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387255)

I am really sick of windows bashing getting such great treatment on /.

Show some journalistic integrity. How in the fuck is this "News for Nerds"? What makes you think that this is "Stuff that matters"?

If I write an open letter to linux talking about what a pain in the ass it is to install, and how its delivery method is confusing for non-technical users will that get a nod on the front page? Will exploits found in microsoft get the same ambigious headlines that linux (or any other unix based OS) gets when their exploits are discovered?

Stop the bias and show some balls.

Sincerly,
A. Nonymous

Dear Windows (0)

Eudial (590661) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387285)

I can't take it any more, you've ruined my life,
therefore i've decided to ... ?

sigh (1)

dioscaido (541037) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387289)

How to write an anti-MS manifesto a) critique features long since fixed/patched (blue screens, constant reboots, security vulnerabilities) b) attribute your inability to set up windows correctly to a fundamental flaw in Windows (i.e. - You can't bother to remove your user account from the Administrator group, but still whine when you get spyware) There are great reasons to use Linux over Windows. The anti-M$ crowd really needs to lay off the innacuracies or misrepresentations.

Moving to Apple ! (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387295)

Check out the amazon computer top sellers [amazon.com] - 8 out of the top 10 are Macs. I was pretty surprised to see this a few days ago, and it's been like this since then. The new iMac is a hit, and that's no surprise - look at what the x86 competition is offering - an iMac look alike [amazon.com] , priced about the same. Seems nice from this angle, but then look at it from the side [amazon.com] . Bulk.

Ugh (2, Interesting)

mlylecarlin (552855) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387313)

Dear Linus, Bob Young, Michael Cowpland, Patrick Volkerding (god it's like kissinger said about europe, I don't know who else to add)... *et all*,

DVD ripping is too hard under linux. Make me some useable software and I will **** you instead of ****ing Bill Gates.

Thank you,
mlylecarlin

Loser (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387321)

Haha, what a loser.... *continues reading /.*

This is stupid... (4, Interesting)

phaetonic (621542) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387322)

I work with UNIX full-time at work, specifically Solaris and HP-UX. I have been "driven up the wall" by the various errors Solaris and HP-UX have caused me, which includes not sleeping all night to fix a problem that I felt was a UNIX-only issue. I've also had problems with Windows, but I usually delegate the task of fixing Windows boxes to someone else. My poiint is every OS when used extensively can and will give you some pain. Sometimes I feel like the whole Windows vs. Linux thing is like the republicans versus the democrats.

Just a rant with karma to burn..

Breaking up with the hot chick to date the nerd? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387326)

Just like a /. reader...

Breaking up with the full featured OS to hang out with guys trying to figure out your new love...

Dear Apple (-1, Troll)

stratjakt (596332) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387327)

My ass is sore and bleeding every morning. The doctor informs me I'm now HIV positive, and blames my chronic iPod use and unending man-on-man sodomy.

Bye Forever
Linus Torbolds

AHHAHAHAH get it! A leter to appel! Appel are fagz! ROFOloL!!!!oneone1

Submissions like this are the very reason trolls are so necessary.

my next computer will be a mac (3, Interesting)

m_dob (639585) | more than 9 years ago | (#10387337)

Yup, after 10 years of puppy-like devotion to Microsoft, I've decided that Macs live up to their promises so much better than Windows PCs do. They have a modern, powerful operating system. I just don't get the same feeling using PCs.

I have always looked out for quality - using Firefox at the moment, and it's come to the point where the Mac is the only quality package out there. I don't want to have to wait 3 years for another buggy OS.

Sorry Microsoft. We had some good times.

Yawn (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10387350)

You know, I *like* windows. I like the applications that are available for it, I like the snappiness of it, I like that everything works with it, and I like all the free software available for it ;). Sure, security is a problem, but for a home user if you just don't do stupid things (attachments) and take necessary precautions (AVG, Ad aware), then all is well.

I'm not against Linux. I've played with it. But it's just too hard, too incompatible. I'm not against the Mac either, but it's too limited when it comes to some industry/profession specific software. I've also tried using Firefox, and just got frustrated when I would go to some sites that wouldn't work right. I know there's a plug-in to "open in IE" but come on. I tried OpenOffice, but it's slow and what's the point when Office is free anyway? I'm supposed to whip up a quick and simple database in MySQL or PostgresSQL? Yeah, right. Plus, I exchange documents with a lot of people, and I don't want them thinking I'm some crackpot by sending them stuff that just doesn't work right. (They have reason enough as it is.)

Mind you, I'm just saying for me and my needs Windows works fine. Obviously, where security or reliability are more important, Linux or Mac would be the way to go.
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