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Brain Controlled Computing a Reality

samzenpus posted about 10 years ago | from the really-hands-free dept.

Biotech 299

pchernyakov writes "Cyberkinetics Neurotechnology Systems told attendees at the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation annual conference that a 25-year-old quadriplegic with wires run from 100 tiny sensors implanted in his brain and out to a computer can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy."

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Let me guess... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517794)

Slashdot is going to say:

Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

What does Captain Pike think? (5, Funny)

DeezyChee (587489) | about 10 years ago | (#10517800)

*blink* *blink*

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (4, Interesting)

networkBoy (774728) | about 10 years ago | (#10517938)

Do I have to be disabled to get this?

I've long held that if someone were to come to me with the offer to wire up a fibre interface to my brain I would be one of the first in line to get wetware / hybrid / augmented computing / whatever installed in my head.

-nB

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517975)

Uh, whatever dude. Meet me at midnight in the parking lot behind the stadium. Bring a screwdriver, pickax, some cat5, a coupla ICs and $10000 cash. I'll give you your "wetware implant".

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (4, Insightful)

Mysticalfruit (533341) | about 10 years ago | (#10518019)

I think I'd be a late adopter after all the kinks have been worked out of the wetware/software interface. You know, the terrible seizures, adware/spyware being uploaded into your ceriberal cortex so your driving along and suddenly you get a big popup right in your field of vision and you crash your car, etc.

Early adoption = not the plan (4, Insightful)

sam_handelman (519767) | about 10 years ago | (#10518064)

The joke is in reference to the expanded pilot episode of the original Star Trek. Turn in your membership card, former nerd #774728.

There are always some wrinkles to be worked out of the first generation of any new technology.

Getting the latest generation of graphics card and finding that it somehow interferes with playback of my old .viv movies is a nuisance.

Getting the latest generation of cyberware and finding that it causes epileptic seizures in combination with the interference with my cordless phone? Rather more than a nuisance.

All things considered, I'll let the parapelegics handle the alpha testing for all this stuff, thank you very much.

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (1)

savagedome (742194) | about 10 years ago | (#10518005)

*blink* *blink*

Like this! [about.com]

Amazing. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517802)

1st post? :)

Re:Amazing. (1)

sammyo (166904) | about 10 years ago | (#10517883)

It would be the first post if you'd had a direct connection. None of this wimpy keyboard crap, I'm getting one of those!

Re:Amazing. (1)

BoRegardless (721219) | about 10 years ago | (#10517918)

Hey I've got some miniature drill bits to get those extra 100 holes in your head! Got some novacaine around somewhere.

Hmm... (4, Funny)

ZeroPost (792045) | about 10 years ago | (#10517808)

Sounds like it's time to break out the tinfoil hat...

Re:Hmm... (1)

skadus (821655) | about 10 years ago | (#10517991)

Doesn't aluminum cool better?

Re:Hmm... (2, Interesting)

Nos. (179609) | about 10 years ago | (#10517998)

See I'm thinking, once we can get to the point where you can output text, I want to hook this up to some weird people while they're sleeping and leave a text editor open. We'll start the next bash.org - dreamquotes.org

almost (1)

genner (694963) | about 10 years ago | (#10517813)

Still need to cut back on the wires and get the pong paddle moving a little faster. This isn't really anything new.

Re:almost (1)

raitchison (734047) | about 10 years ago | (#10517930)

I've been saying for years that a neural interface will be practical, even commonplace in our lifetime. The phrase "keyboard? how quaint!" won't be a line from a movie to our kids.

Look to Science Fiction, will we "jack in" and physically plug in to a computer/network (with our interface installed during childhood) or will computers be able to interface with a more indirect connection?

Re:almost (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517937)

I can tell you whats new ! My perception of "genner" being a negative arrogant dweeb.

Re:almost (1)

genner (694963) | about 10 years ago | (#10518106)

Nah, everyones believed that for years

I, for one (3, Funny)

unassimilatible (225662) | about 10 years ago | (#10517820)

welcome our new wired quadriplegic overlords.

And now... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10518046)

Let the great Pong stadiums be built for the amusment of the masses!

Porn (5, Funny)

athakur999 (44340) | about 10 years ago | (#10517825)

So this means I can surf with NO hands on the keyboard? Think of the possibilities.

Re:Porn (4, Funny)

retro128 (318602) | about 10 years ago | (#10517969)

That's the whole problem isn't it? Now I don't know if all the porn popups I'm getting are being caused by my new neural interface or spyware.

Soothesaying (1)

knapper_tech (813569) | about 10 years ago | (#10518052)

The great catastrophe of the neural interface: Spyware will be uploaded to our minds, eventually enslaving the entire developed world to a teenager in South Korea.

Re:Porn (1)

Lord_Dweomer (648696) | about 10 years ago | (#10518010)

You jest, but I think this will be what brings this kind of mainstream. I mean, lets say the neural interface is well designed and functional enough that you just slip a little cap on and it can read your commands.

Some of the easiest commands to implement will be to scroll a webpage, move the cursor, click the link, and then possibly implement some basic browser functions such as opening a new tab, going forward, or going backwards.

The INSTANT they make a plugin that can do this, I guarantee everybody with one of these suckers will be using it for porn.

Re:Porn (1)

metlin (258108) | about 10 years ago | (#10518029)

Yes, think of the possibilities for pranks :-p

Wire it up to a dog or something, and I'm sure you'd not exactly like what you'd be seeing ;-)

On the other hand, if you do... I pity the people you live with.

yeah (3, Funny)

Anubis350 (772791) | about 10 years ago | (#10518102)

now I can drink coffee, get my work done, and masturbate while browsing for porn

ahhhhh, watching the karma burn

Re:Porn (1)

Wind_Walker (83965) | about 10 years ago | (#10518120)

Think of the possibilities

I'd much rather NOT think of a Slashdotter doing that. But I understand some people are into that sort of thing...

Great! (3, Insightful)

freeze128 (544774) | about 10 years ago | (#10517829)

Now connect it to a robot, and have a virtual human.

70% (0, Redundant)

mark1348 (812035) | about 10 years ago | (#10517832)

Hey that's better than yo momma!!

Re:70% (-1, Flamebait)

style7711 (535582) | about 10 years ago | (#10517879)

I played your mom to 70% capacity.

Not so great... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517834)

I can beat this guy at pong 90% of the time!

Re:Not so great... (1)

genner (694963) | about 10 years ago | (#10518083)

That means yourin the top 30% of people who have played him.

Really? (4, Funny)

SansTinfoilHat (759207) | about 10 years ago | (#10517835)

and play Pong with 70% accuracy

Damn, I can't even play Pong with 70% accuracy.

Now just hook it up to some robotics and... (5, Funny)

retro128 (318602) | about 10 years ago | (#10517844)

Can this [pip.com.au] be much farther behind?

Birth of Cybornetics... (4, Interesting)

koa (95614) | about 10 years ago | (#10517971)

It is interesting, however because even though your reference was most likely meant to be humerous. I would submit that something like this would be somewhat akin to the birth of flight or even similar in many ways to SpaceShipOne in the pioneering first steps toward commercial spaceflight.

Quite possibly even an eventual route to the elusive "fountain of youth" once machines can be manufactured to mimic human bodies. Because if you think of it- a human body is nothing more than a fantasticaly complex machine.

But when... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517848)

will the machine think back?

Another article on the subject... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517849)

Can be found here [zoy.org] .

Pong? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517850)

Talk about unethical medical experiments.

The new peripheral (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517852)

So, are quadrapalegics plug-and-play compatible? And how long until we get a linux driver?

Yeah but (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517853)

How well does he do with Halo? I don't need any more competition.

I for one (0)

sjalex (757770) | about 10 years ago | (#10517862)

welcome our new cybernetic paraplegic overlords.

Re:I for one (1)

sjalex (757770) | about 10 years ago | (#10517884)

or rather, quadraplegic, yeah

That's just what I need... (1)

jangobongo (812593) | about 10 years ago | (#10517865)

... to be permanently hard-wired to my computer.

The Headaches (5, Interesting)

tholomyes (610627) | about 10 years ago | (#10517873)

Will this make the headaches better or worse?

Re:The Headaches (1)

Hinhule (811436) | about 10 years ago | (#10517926)

Imagine being connected to your computer when it suddenly gets slashdotted. I would say worse.

Re:The Headaches (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10518012)

Not just headaches, nosebleeds too. Not to mention the government holing you up in a lab and keeping you pumped full of suppressing drugs until you daughter breaks out and burns the joint down.

neither (1)

Anubis350 (772791) | about 10 years ago | (#10518124)

but your g/f will have more of them :-P

wonderful accomplishment! however... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517874)

Not being an expert in the field, I can only help to wonder: If brains can successfully control machinery, whats stopping machinery from controlling brains (nervous system, psychologically etc..)

Re:wonderful accomplishment! however... (1)

Kinkify (818557) | about 10 years ago | (#10518011)

I'm no scientist, so don't quote me on this, but I think it's because brains are more complex than computers. Humans can control computers without any problem (we did build them after all) but we don't even understand everything about the human brain ourselves yet, let alone be able to teach a computer how to figure them out. I'm sure you could hard wire a brain to do certain things, such as twiching your finger or move the arm a bit, but you wouldn't be any sort of Johnny Quest-style remote controlled zombie robot. Or at least not anytime soon.

Where do I sign up? (1)

bigtangringo (800328) | about 10 years ago | (#10517878)

The line starts here!

Applications of this technology (1)

gsasha (550394) | about 10 years ago | (#10517885)

Are far beyond helping the disabled.
Think driving, mouse pointing, surgery. And to top it off, computer games and [almost the same... ;) ] jet fighter pilots.

Re:Applications of this technology (2, Insightful)

Doc Ruby (173196) | about 10 years ago | (#10518057)

Everyone separated by distance from the subject of their work is disabled, if by meters, miles, or a few inches of glass. Necessity is the mother of invention, and the needs of the conventionally disabled are driving augmentation for all of us. The resulting increased capacities might make all of us, prebionics, look roughly equally disabled.

How about.... (4, Insightful)

HBI (604924) | about 10 years ago | (#10517890)

wiring it up to an electric wheelchair?

Wireless, perhaps?

Robotic arm on said wheelchair?

Seems they aren't plumbing the feasible current possibilities yet, and i'm not even talking about artificial legs and arms. Yet.

Re:How about.... (1)

UWC (664779) | about 10 years ago | (#10517916)

I figure it would be best to test out the interactions in the relatively controlled environment of a computer, rather than sending the subject out in an electric wheelchair with a robotic arm and uncertainty of performance levels.

Re:How about.... (1)

HBI (604924) | about 10 years ago | (#10517966)

True, but I think we've already seen the possibilities of artificial eyes run by electrodes directly implanted into the brain, for instance, and that a couple years ago. Seems like practical application of this technology is going to be another 10 years away by the speed of things, and it's sad because if it works now, it could benefit people...now.

Re:How about.... (1)

UWC (664779) | about 10 years ago | (#10518017)

As you note, the progress does seem pretty slow. I have to wonder if all of these researchers are recreating the wheel with these projects. Maybe there are obvious drawbacks to each of the methods used so far and the researchers are looking for more efficient or effective or safer methods.

Re:How about.... (3, Informative)

HBI (604924) | about 10 years ago | (#10518109)

I keep thinking that a 'human bus connector' would be a good idea, once you've identified the areas of the brain most conducive to electrode implantation for control purposes, you create a standard connector and tolerances for the controls. Identify motion axes that can be trained. Create a computer that hooks into the bus connector (mounted in the most logical place, perhaps behind the neck?) and allows the user to train using the motion axes in a therapy environment, then move them up to the vehicle that can provide mobility, a grasping hand and communications.

The advantages of this would be that as new hardware is invented, the brain electrodes wouldn't need to be re-implanted and the new hardware could simply take advantage of the existing control interface.

It's been a dream to regrow spinal cords. This provides a technological end run that while not 100% desirable, gives them a far more mobile and productive existence than would otherwise be possible.

A new level of NWS Browsing is coming (0, Redundant)

eseiat (650560) | about 10 years ago | (#10517892)

I can just imagine sitting in a board meeting, company VP giving some web-based presentation of company growth and stock volume, when suddenly some S&M Gay Pr0n site pops up out of nowhere, with the boss displayed for everyone to see. Oh man, this is going to be awesome!

Can we say... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517893)

That this will mean the end of repetitive motion syndrome?

I'm all for it! Sign me up!

Actually, he could use this to control his limbs (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517900)

If anyone was actually thinking instead of attempting to be witty and clever with idiotic responses, you would have thoughtfully theorized this 25 year old cripple to be able to control his prosthetic legs and arms.

Just a thought from a non-cowardly anonymous lurker.

Fiction to reality.. (1)

Gentlewhisper (759800) | about 10 years ago | (#10517903)

Michael Crichton's "The Terminal Man"

Eventually this guy will go nuts and start commanding things to kill people :P

Re:Fiction to reality.. (5, Funny)

NetNifty (796376) | about 10 years ago | (#10517970)

If he is really a "terminal man", we can just telnet to him if something goes wrong.

Re:Fiction to reality.. (1)

JWW (79176) | about 10 years ago | (#10518140)

Trying...
telnet: Unable to connect to remote host: Connection refused

Uh-oh. ;-)

Original thought keyboard? (1)

suso (153703) | about 10 years ago | (#10517910)

Back in '98 I remember reading an article about one of the guys working on these research teams and made a headband that enabled him to type ~30 words/min. What happened to that device?

Sweet! (1)

ivan256 (17499) | about 10 years ago | (#10517914)

Now all they need to do is figure out how to keep the brain alive after the body is ready to die and we can be essentially immortal! It's got to be way easier to extend the life span of just one organ when you don't have to worry about keeping the rest of your body alive, right?

I hope that isn't the "slippery slope" they're talking about not going down.

Re:Sweet! (1)

PitaBred (632671) | about 10 years ago | (#10518129)

Go watch Ghost in the Shell :)

Get yer Tin foil hats here! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517922)

Now it will only be a matter of time before we will figure out how to make the computer control brains...

Of course this is already happening in Soviet Russia (where Computing Controls Brains!)

I'm gonna add a few extra layers to my tinfoil hat and go down into my lead sealed bunker where I'll be safe...

Uh oh... (1)

g3000 (799075) | about 10 years ago | (#10517925)

How fun would it be to deal with a virus, a worm or excessive spam...in your brain.

Re:Uh oh... (1)

KitFox (712780) | about 10 years ago | (#10518136)

For the standard "Funny" factor...

Now we're that much closer to having the Agent Smith virus be real!!!

For the Serious Factor...

It currently only deals with taking information out of the brain and using it as input. The information back into the barin is received by other senses (Visual, auditory, etc), ie, looking at the computer screen and seeing that you did, indeed, manage to open the email. We're not talking about pumping information directly through wires INTO your brain. Just getting information out.

yikes! (4, Funny)

mrpuffypants (444598) | about 10 years ago | (#10517928)

open e-mail

His first email? INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS! PLEASURE WOMEN!

sigh. kinda makes you wish that email had never even come around...

(Jordan, if you see this...GET BACK TO WORK! =]

Re:yikes! (2, Funny)

josh3736 (745265) | about 10 years ago | (#10518134)

(Jordan, if you see this...GET BACK TO WORK! =]

Actually, I just installed BO2K on your machine.

Please stop wasting company time on Solitaire and Slashdot, then I'll get back to work.

--Jordan.

Wikipedia (1)

LegoEvan (772742) | about 10 years ago | (#10517929)

Imagine the possibilities with some (shrunken) WiFi tech! Hearing things read to you in your earbud, as you request information about them in Wikipedia, or anywhere for that matter.

Politicians will have far scarier debates, as they all find the examples they need on the spot.

I could pass all of my 8.012 tests with Mathematica

Nobody would need to think about stuff!

Now, can I have the computer feed info directly into my brain? Like, say, programming my dreams? That'd be freaking sweet.

My childhood dream... (4, Insightful)

Andorion (526481) | about 10 years ago | (#10517932)

I'm more interested in using brain-implanted computers to shift the communication paradigm - imagine being able to instantly and wirelessly communicate with anyone, the increased bandwidth and throughput from regular spoken or written word would be phenomenal.

Pong (1, Redundant)

centauri (217890) | about 10 years ago | (#10517934)

Heck, I have full use of all my limbs and I can't play Pong with 70% accuracy. Maybe I should get these implants.

Captian Cyborg Coincidence? (1)

bigtangringo (800328) | about 10 years ago | (#10517944)

Is it just me or is it a coincidence that this was in Warwick, also the last name of Captian Cyborg [kevinwarwick.org] .
Read The Register [theregister.co.uk] for more info on Capt. Cyborg. I guess they can't make so much fun of him anymore :(

Re:Captian Cyborg Coincidence? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10518004)

Why not? It's not as though this limited success makes anything he rants about any more logical or believable.

Not to mention that he himself seems to have the technical skills of a 15-year-old to go with a 20-year-old's ego.

Long overdue use of technology (4, Insightful)

syrinje (781614) | about 10 years ago | (#10517946)

This combination of medical science and computer technology is long overdue in its use in improving the quality of life of people afflicted with different kinds of motor function degradation.

One possible reason why such advances seem to take longer than for the pacific tectonic plate to move a mile is the hemlock cup with its swill of politics, corporate greed, litigation and religion. Between them, they throw up enough obstacles in the path of medical advancement - sometimes justifiable on ethical grounds - but mostly to advance to their own selfish power plays.

Makes one wonder though what the side-effects would be though - would the procedure be safe for someone like Stephen Hawkins? Would the hundreds of electrodes somehow kill something off making time travel impossible? (oh! wait - he already reneged on that ....). But seriously, some study into the invasiveness quotient of this would surely be welcome.

As a parting thought - is any one else surprised that Pong made it to the top 3 list of things to do?! whatever happened to pr0n!?

Obligatory sign-off - its futile - you will be assimilated.

Re:Long overdue use of technology (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10518020)

I'll make this simple:

You're a dick.

Use thalamus in brain. (1)

Thinkit4 (745166) | about 10 years ago | (#10517954)

Both our senses and our volition emerge from our thalamus. We should be going to the source, and eventually make a cyberthalamus that hosts sentience in an engineered machine.

oooh... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517959)

pretty soon, you know, people will be interfacing with high tech super-computers, or alternately, Dells running the latest version of Windows XP Brain Edition!

Think of the possibilities: spyware that actually forces you to buy the product!

Okay... (1)

Sophrosyne (630428) | about 10 years ago | (#10517976)

Just let me know when they can do this without cracking my head open.

I dunno... (1)

ajservo (708572) | about 10 years ago | (#10517978)

I smell superman 3 in all this...

Imagine CS (1)

Man in Spandex (775950) | about 10 years ago | (#10517979)

Playing pong at 70% accuracy, I can't think to imagine if we hook this technology and make him play CS what the end result would be.

Either a nonstop madness of headshots or a teamkilling madness by grenading his teammates cause he's getting "bs" from the team.
.
sign me up!

Gamers? (1)

thesandtiger (819476) | about 10 years ago | (#10517981)

and play Pong with 70% accuracy

Hope they update punkbuster.

bRA in c0NT**RoooledDD *@ (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10517994)

iM **@@ usIBNg iT N0|w! w00RKds GGgreaAA**t!

Oh, GOOD. (1)

OccidentalSlashy (809265) | about 10 years ago | (#10518009)

Now Slashdot can be slashdotted by geeks thinking they are going to get first post.

To put it in perspective (0, Flamebait)

interstellar_donkey (200782) | about 10 years ago | (#10518023)

well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy.

So now the disabled are able to function at the exact same level as me while drunk.

Just to be sure, get me a fifth of whiskey and a pong setup, and we'll see who wins.

But how many degrees of freedom? (5, Insightful)

StateOfTheUnion (762194) | about 10 years ago | (#10518035)

can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy

The quote really sounds impressive the way they wrote it, but it seems like the patient is using only three degrees of freedom in their control.

Use the mind to make the paddle go up . . . use the mind to make the paddle go down . . .

Use the mind to make the channel go up . . . Use the mind to make the channel go down. Use the mind to switch to volume and repeat . . .

Use the mind to select next email . . . Use the mind to open the email . . . Use the mind to close the email.

I count three degrees of freedom . . . This is no different than the guy that was wired up to use his mind to scroll through and select letters to write emails. It sounds good when one says he can play pong, check email and and control a TV, but the truth is that I think that using the mind to control with three degrees of freedom has been done before. This just sounds better because they framed the control in terms of some common tasks.

RTFA PLEASE... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10518137)

Obviously you didn't read the article.

The techonology allows for scanning of only 100 nuerons at a time. Every square millimeter of headspace occupies about 100,000. We're way off. So obviously he can only do so much, right now.

Dick. Ignorant cock fucker.

Fagbait.

Wanker.

What's the server address... (1)

marko123 (131635) | about 10 years ago | (#10518036)

so I can play pong against him online?

Controlling a fighter jet... (1)

tdsotf (316796) | about 10 years ago | (#10518040)


"DARPA envisions a day when a fighter pilot, for instance, might operate some controls just by thinking."

But will the pilot have to think in Russian? Firefox [imdb.com] .

Human Computing (0)

cephyn (461066) | about 10 years ago | (#10518044)

I mean imagine a Beowulf Cluster of these!

So what are you waiting for? (1)

EdZ (755139) | about 10 years ago | (#10518053)

Stick the damn chip in my head already!

Really? (1)

scorp1us (235526) | about 10 years ago | (#10518058)

What the fuck have I been using to accomplish tapping on these damn keys?

what makes the brain so powerful (3, Interesting)

Brigadier (12956) | about 10 years ago | (#10518066)



this is what makes the brain so powerful. it builds itself as needs be. The neurons that form pathways to move yrou hands, can just as easily learn to manage other body parts. I remember my sister who is a research scientist showing pictures of nuerons before and after trials. where they would paralyze a rat in a certain area then the rat woudl learn to walk with it's limited capacity. then looking on the nueeron pathways that formed in responce to learning the new task was incredible.

70% Pong Accuracy (4, Funny)

aardwolf64 (160070) | about 10 years ago | (#10518073)

can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy

I can do the first two easily enough, but he's got me beat on the 70% Pong rate...

Imagine.... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 years ago | (#10518075)

A beowolf cluster of human brains.

The Matrix (1)

abertoll (460221) | about 10 years ago | (#10518085)

And I thought it was only a movie. This is too scary to be true.

I can't even image what kind of "thoughts" you'd have to think to get a mouse pointer to move. How do you learn to send the right signals?

Maintenance procedures (1)

Alien Being (18488) | about 10 years ago | (#10518090)

Remember to mount a scratch monkey [mv.com] .

Wireless??? (1)

mwilli (725214) | about 10 years ago | (#10518094)

When will it be 802.11G capable? Once that comes out count me in!

Dupe! (1)

Mike Rubits (818811) | about 10 years ago | (#10518138)

Boy, I thought Slashdot was getting bad with dupes, but they had this one back in the 80s!

http://www.atarimuseum.com/videogames/consoles/2 60 0/mindlink.html

(Yes, this is supposed to be funny)
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