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Things To Do Before You Die

CmdrTaco posted more than 9 years ago | from the what-happened-to-sex-on-an-airplane dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 675

Lu Xun writes "A group of British scientists has brought some meaning to our lives by providing a list of 100 scientifically-oriented things to do before you die. The suggestions include 'joining the 300 Club at the South Pole (they take a sauna to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F) or learning Choctaw, a language with two past tenses - one for giving information which is definitely true, the other for passing on material taken without checking from someone else.'"

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Fp (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952659)

at long last. I have not failed it. One down.

Re:Fp (0, Offtopic)

Zork the Almighty (599344) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952727)

How is that offtopic ? It's #84 !

I'm not complaining... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952779)

84 wasn't get a FP modded to +5. I'm golden baby.

Riiight ... (4, Funny)

spellraiser (764337) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952662)

The suggestions include 'joining the 300 Club at the South Pole (they take a sauna to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F

'Things to do before you die' is a very apt term for this, I think.

Re:Riiight ... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952684)

Dont forget multiple orgasmns and cloning your pet.

Re:Riiight ... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952789)

RTFA you idiot mods

Re:Riiight ... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952832)

From the article:-

Extract your own DNA by spitting gargled salt water into diluted washing-up liquid and slowly dribbling ice-cold gin down the side of the glass. Spindly white clumps which form in the mixture are, basically, you

A much simpler way to do so was described in the parent post. Though a single event will probably be sufficient.

Re:Riiight ... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952716)

A list of 100 things to do before you die? On /.? Is one of the first ones to "finally RTFA"?

The hardest part (3, Insightful)

Hoi Polloi (522990) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952735)

The hardest part might be convincing the NSF to let you go to the South Pole research station just so you can run around naked.

I wonder if they go barefoot too?

Re:The hardest part (2, Funny)

The_Mr_Flibble (738358) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952812)

At those temps I don't think it would be hard for long.

Re:The hardest part (2, Funny)

Hoi Polloi (522990) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952862)

Actually at those temps it would be fozen solid.

Re:Riiight ... (5, Funny)

levik (52444) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952823)

How about yelling: "You'll never get away with this!" while slowly being lowered into liquid hot magma?

Re:Riiight ... (1, Funny)

fitten (521191) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952877)

The suggestions include 'joining the 300 Club at the South Pole (they take a sauna to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F
'Things to do before you die' is a very apt term for this, I think.


I think that particular thing was the last item on the list.

Choctaw (1)

Metteyya (790458) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952667)

About the second past tense - now I know what does "C" in SCO stand for!

Re:Choctaw (1)

The_Mr_Flibble (738358) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952741)

Halito, Chim achukma?

Brief primer... (3, Informative)

Short Circuit (52384) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952750)

I saw this article in The Mysterious Future, so I googled up this [angelfire.com] brief page with Choctaw examples.

Personally, I'd like to see some of that grammar come into common usage. At least, on Slashdot.

In Korea... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952670)

only old people do 100 things before they die

Or have a new species named after you (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952678)

Homo Anonymi?

In Korea, (-1, Redundant)

loconet (415875) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952683)

dying is only for old people.

Judging from their "successes" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952711)

with bridges and malls, I might be inclined to disagree...

Re:In Korea, (-1)

leonmergen (807379) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952807)

Ok, this does it. I'm editing the Slashdot subculture [wikipedia.org] page! :)

Anyone have more info (4, Interesting)

antifoidulus (807088) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952689)

on the whole donating your car to crash tests thing? (It was listed as one of the things that you can decide to have done to your corpse after you leave this realm) What kind of research do they do with actual corpses as opposed to crash test dummies? Are the corpses that much more useful? Who has to mop up after the test is done?

Re:Anyone have more info (0)

icke (661710) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952765)

I think it is so they can work out how human bodies decompose when left outside. So the forensic guys can work out when they were dumped and so forth.

Re:Anyone have more info (1)

TopShelf (92521) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952858)

You're referring to a different item on the list. Playing "Crash Test Dummy" and "the CSI Home Game" were two entries...

Re:Anyone have more info (4, Insightful)

Aumaden (598628) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952853)

The dummies can show how bones will behave in a crash and possibly to some extent internal organs. They cannot show how the skin will respond (eg, will the airbag give you a split lip or facial abbrasions).

Choctaw (3, Funny)

roman_mir (125474) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952690)

or learning Choctaw, a language with two past tenses - one for giving information which is definitely true, the other for passing on material taken without checking from someone else.'" - I think /. moderators already speak in Choctaw, too bad most of them only learned the second past tence.

Obligatory Fight Club reference (2, Interesting)

bigdady92 (635263) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952691)

Operation Mayhem Drone1: "BUILD A HOUSE!"

OPMD2: "PAINT A PICTURE!"

Re:Obligatory Fight Club reference (0, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952831)

Self portrait, but you were close...

A la Austin Powers (5, Funny)

savagedome (742194) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952694)

"Threesome with Japanese twins"

Amen.

Re:A la Austin Powers (0)

weeboo0104 (644849) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952863)

Been there. Done that.

Missing from the list (2, Funny)

Hoi Polloi (522990) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952706)

Getting first post on a Slashdot comments page.

Looks like I can't die yet.

How not to impress your partner (0)

sshtome (771249) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952707)

" With a little practice - carefully explained - you may also be able to achieve multiple orgasm, "

Ok, the explanation is what makes you orgasm? Geek maybe, but isn't that going a bit far?

Re:How not to impress your partner (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952839)

I'm sure many /. readers achieve multiple orgasms... 2, maybe 3 before they die - yeah, they're mostly rather young so I think it's statistically possible.

In Korea... (-1)

tod_miller (792541) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952708)

In Korea only old people join the 300 club before they die...

In the UK "joining the 300 Club" is more to do with a quantitative analysis of your sexual prowess...

I am in the mile high club though! well I didn't check the tv screen or ask the attendant, but I am sure it was a valid endeavour on my part!

Re:In Korea... (-1)

Timesprout (579035) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952813)

I am in the mile high club though! well I didn't check the tv screen or ask the attendant, but I am sure it was a valid endeavour on my part!

I'm sure it was a valid endeavour on your part but masturbation does not count.

Re:In Korea... (-1)

DrWho520 (655973) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952825)

You are aware entering the mile high club involves two people, correct? I mean, you are posting to slashdot, afterall...

Re:In Korea... (-1, Offtopic)

tod_miller (792541) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952861)

Yes, I am also a member of several other closer to sea level clubs, including the below sea level club, well, mostly below, some was still out, had to breath (although for one part I couldn't breath)

anyway, In Korea, the mile high club is only for old people.

300 Club? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952709)

Meh. I'd rather do two-a-day tryouts for the Mile High Club.

I got something on my mind... (-1, Troll)

bersl2 (689221) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952714)

but I'll get trolled halfway around teh Intarweb for actually telling anybody. Meh.

Uh, threesome? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952715)

Where's "get laid by 2 hot chicks at the same time"? Hello?

Re:Uh, threesome? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952756)

Beer commercials, and pornos. It's that rareified realm abdicated by science. Eternal, unreasoning, hope.

Re:Uh, threesome? (2, Funny)

koi88 (640490) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952788)

Where's "get laid by 2 hot chicks at the same time"? Hello?

Whoa! This is /. Let's start slowly, like cracking the password to a porn site.

your new here (1)

Prince Vegeta SSJ4 (718736) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952805)

are you not?

Re:your new here (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952827)

actually since you didnt catch the office space refference Im thinking your new here.

Things to do. (1)

kaos.geo (587126) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952718)

The common saying goes "Plant a tree, have a child, write a book" before you die. I think reading the lists is ok. Taking it seriously..Is seriously wrong ;)

Re:Things to do. (5, Funny)

oexeo (816786) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952849)

> The common saying goes "Plant a tree, have a child, write a book" before you die.

I'm impotent, allergic to trees, and have lost the use of my right hand. Thanks for making me feel good.

Time Enough for Love (1)

Short Circuit (52384) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952720)

Looks like Minerva isn't going to be the first to compile a list of experiences, afterall. :)

A must do (0, Offtopic)

FlashGordon_CyberDud (703530) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952721)

Read every single article and comment on /.

Re:A must do (1)

ghost509 (457002) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952818)

Read every single article and comment on /.
and try to get rid of bad karma

#include "a_life.h"

Korean has two tenses for certainty (3, Interesting)

ibpunk03 (676151) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952723)

IIRC, Korean has "two present tenses" for certainty - one for events that the speaker knows to be true, and on that they are not 100% certain of. IANAKS (I am not a Korean speaker)

Re:Korean has two tenses for certainty (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952776)

In Korea, korean is only for old people.

err wait a minute...

Middle Finger (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952724)

The list, compiled by New Scientist magazine, suggests booking to see Galileo's middle finger (preserved in Florence)


When I came back from seeing this during the summer, noone believed me. Now I have somewhere to point them to...

Things To Do Before I Die (5, Funny)

koi88 (640490) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952725)


take a sauna to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F

Introduce the Celsius system to the US

Re:Things To Do Before I Die (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952796)

The 131 Club?

Re:Things To Do Before I Die (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952847)

Which sounds a lot like The 151 Club, and after belonging to that club back in college... Oh the memories of much pain...

Re:Things To Do Before I Die (1)

moranar (632206) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952809)

The guardian is an English newspaper. The scientists mentioned are most of them English, too. They are supposed to use the SI already... Go figure.

Re:Things To Do Before I Die (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952828)

Go figure : Oh, OK. They use Fahrenheit because you get a groovily round number that way.

Re:Things To Do Before I Die (4, Funny)

xs650 (741277) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952840)

Somehow the "166 2/3 club" lacks the pizzaz of the "300 Club"

no way (1, Funny)

Prince Vegeta SSJ4 (718736) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952844)

then it would only be the 166.66666666666666666666 club. Doesn't sound as cool.

Re:Things To Do Before I Die (1)

donscarletti (569232) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952869)

AFAIK all the countries with a claim on parts of Antarctica officially use either Metric or SI. But the question remains, who in their right mind would want to join the 167 club when there are more impressive clubs on offer with the same entrance criteria?

Or: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952876)

Learn everybody to use Kelvin

Re:Things To Do Before I Die (1)

bynary (827120) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952878)

Problem is, it's already been done. We just choose not to use it.

Wrong List... (1, Funny)

blcamp (211756) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952733)


The suggestions include 'joining the 300 Club at the South Pole (they take a sauna to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F)


Wrong list... I think that's from "100 Things To Do When You've Lost Your Sanity."


Become a diamond (5, Informative)

amigoro (761348) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952734)

Become a diamond. LifeGem of Chicago, Illinois, the book reveals, will take a few grains of your cremated remains, subject them to high pressure and temperature, and you will emerge from the process, 18 weeks later, as a sparkling one-carat diamond

Here's there website [lifegem.com]

From the site:

What is a LifeGem?

A LifeGem is a certified, high quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique and wonderful life.

The LifeGem provides a way to embrace your loved one's memory day by day. The LifeGem is the most unique and timeless memorial available for creating a testimony to their unique life.

We hope and believe that your LifeGem memorial will offer comfort and support when and where you need it, and provide a lasting memory that endures just as a diamond does. Forever.

Moderate this comment
Negative: Offtopic [mithuro.com] Flamebait [mithuro.com] Troll [mithuro.com] Redundant [mithuro.com]
Positive: Insightful [mithuro.com] Interesting [mithuro.com] Informative [mithuro.com] Funny [mithuro.com]

Re:Become a diamond (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952773)

Personally, I'd prefer to have my cremated ashes mixed with resin and turned into something useful like the ultimate PC case mod.

Re:Become a diamond (1)

mtgarden (744770) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952784)

Definitely the best suggestion of the bunch. Of course, I am not certain that I can see my wife wearing the diamond after I am gone.... I can't see anyone wanting to keep the diamond knowing that it used to be a person.

Re:Become a diamond (2, Funny)

tod_miller (792541) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952792)

http://www.lifegem.com/secondary/gallery/Lifegem_g allery_main.htm

Gallery, funny - they don't have before and after pictures....

How in the... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952826)

How am I supposed to do this BEFORE I die?!

Re:Become a diamond (1)

koi88 (640490) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952845)


and you will emerge... as a sparkling one-carat diamond

Hey, many slashdot readers might even emerge as two or 2.5-carat diamonds!
Isn't that wonderful?
For the first time my wife would be happy I'm so... big.

137 (5, Funny)

T-Kir (597145) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952737)

and solve the mathematical mystery of the number 137

To join that 'elite' group you need to insert another 3 in the middle.

;-)

I live in the Choctaw nation (Oklahoma) (3, Funny)

tacokill (531275) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952742)

Good luck learning to speak Choctaw. If you look *real* hard, you might find someone who speaks Choctaw -- but chances are, they are too busy running the casino to teach you anything useful.

Pick of the List (5, Funny)

Jakhel (808204) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952746)

Pick of the list

Extract your own DNA by spitting gargled salt water into diluted washing-up liquid and slowly dribbling ice-cold gin down the side of the glass. Spindly white clumps which form in the mixture are, basically, you


You know, there are easier, and much more fun, ways to create clumps of white goo that contains your DNA.

Can you say (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952747)

"shrinkage"?!

Great list (1)

Icarus1919 (802533) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952749)

The list is a pretty good one, especially the one about turning yourself into a diamond after you die. I can't help but wish they had included a link to the list, or told us if it was going to be published.

Re:Great list (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952850)

If you buy New Scientist magazine this week (ie before Thursday 2nd December) then you'll find the book attached to the front of it...

Before I die... (4, Funny)

LittleGuy (267282) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952752)

... I plan to discover the Secret to Immortality.

Re:Before I die... (3, Funny)

nharmon (97591) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952799)

Live forever, or die trying.

Running naked on a pole.. interesting (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952753)

"then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F"

Why the *FUCK* would I want to do that??

Re:Running naked on a pole.. interesting (5, Funny)

LittleGuy (267282) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952787)

"then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F"

Why the *FUCK* would I want to do that??


I really *shouldn't* be telling you this but....

There are rumors that, at the Pole, there are nubile virgin maidens ready to pleasure any /.er who runs naked in their direction....

Use your excreta... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952755)

Use your excreta to enter the amazing world of the dung beetle. Much more basic but just as fascinating for some. If you are ever caught short in the open, says New Scientist, turn the accident into an opportunity by lingering nearby and watching what happens. "It won't take long for the beetles to appear, scuttle boldly up to your deposit and begin rolling balls of it away, head-butting it and pushing it with their forelegs." Reassuringly, it gets used as food and a beetle breeding nest

I tried this in the food court at my local mall, but security showed up before I saw any beetles.

The Lanuage isnt that weird.... (2, Interesting)

Botty (715495) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952759)

Maybe someone can clarify why this Chocktaw(sp?) is so cool....but Spanish has two past tenses, preterite and imperfect. One for an event that happened once, at one time, and one that could continually be happening, or the start/end point is not certain. (My explanation is a bit hazy im not a native speaker).

Plus for every tense you have... past present, future, conditional,etc. there is the subjuntive that expresses desires and doubts. It seems to me that the argument for learning this language is rather weak as I can get a handful of confusion from Spanish, not to mention im sure there are alot more languages like this ;)

DNA extraction with spit & gin (2, Interesting)

haluness (219661) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952760)

The method to extract DNA seems pretty neat. Can anybody explain what the gin is doing?

Dung Beetle (1)

wooby (786765) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952766)

Use your excreta to enter the amazing world of the dung beetle. "It won't take long for the beetles to appear, scuttle boldly up to your deposit and begin rolling balls of it away, head-butting it and pushing it with their forelegs."

Watching insects tinker with my poo just doesn't make my list of things to do somehow.

No, thanks.. (1)

fforw (116415) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952767)

I'll do all that after I die.

I know! (0, Troll)

oexeo (816786) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952774)

Tell your family and friends you're getting much better, and the doc says you have a 100% chance of pulling through. You should see the look on their faces when you croak, they'll be laughing so hard, that they totally forgot your deceased dead carcass collapsed on the floor

Was that sick? sorry.

Diamonds...and rust (1)

yetanothermike (824215) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952782)

Morbid question: Can you make a diamond from someone from Sierra Leone's ashes without it being considered a conflict diamone? There sure is a lot of corpse talk in that article for things to do BEFORE you die. Do they know something we don't?

Choctaw (1)

arhavu (701524) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952786)

Hmm, and I was considering learning Haskell, a language with monadic I/O...

Actually, though, the difference described in the summary, between the past tenses, isn't actually a distinction of tenses, but rather of modality (or mood, in some writer's terminology). From the description, it seems Choctaw would have a distinction between past and non-past, at least, and a distinction between believed-to-be-true and hearsay (a distinction of evidentiality). Sort of like English distinguishes past and present and two aspects. That is, two one-bit distinctions, making for four different combinations: I eat, I have eaten , I ate, had eaten. Not to mention all the other aspects of verbal systems...

The full Messier list (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952797)

My "science" goal before I die is to work through the Messier catalogue. Unfortunately, I'm in the Southern Hemisphere, so it's not as easy as it sounds.

Choktaw (4, Interesting)

wowbagger (69688) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952803)

I wonder how this shapes the thinking of a native Choktaw speaker - for example, if George tells Fred something using the "definitely true" tense, will Fred be more likely to swallow it without thinking than if the "uncheck third-party" tense were used?

And if so, would that mean that an unscrupulous person would be more likely to use the "definitely true" tense?

Would marketing types use it exclusively?

Re:Choktaw (1)

bersl2 (689221) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952872)

IMO you have the causation in reverse.

I'm going in... (1)

GillBates0 (664202) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952814)

Use your excreta to enter the amazing world of the dung beetle. Much more basic but just as fascinating for some. If you are ever caught short in the open, says New Scientist, turn the accident into an opportunity by lingering nearby and watching what happens. "It won't take long for the beetles to appear, scuttle boldly up to your deposit and begin rolling balls of it away, head-butting it and pushing it with their forelegs."

...or rather out. I shall videotape the event and post it on this thread shortly. Keep posted! Science rocks.

So (1)

TheJaff (714004) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952819)

The suggestions include 'joining the 300 Club at the South Pole'

Anyone else imagined trying to get it up while balancing on a 300 foot pole in -50C ? No.. ok ill be going back to work then.

ops! (1)

maggern (597586) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952833)

Some of those things should be called:
Things you do right before you die.

:-D

#101: See the shock wave on an airplane wing (5, Interesting)

G4from128k (686170) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952835)

If you sit over the wing of most jets, you may get to see the shockwave that forms during high-speed flight (above about Mach .8 or so). It is visible in one of two ways. First, if the sun angle is just right, the shockwave will cast a shadow on the wing that is a faint span-wise line of darkness and brightness. Second, if you are sitting in just the right location (about in the middle of the wing) you can see the shockwave by looking for visual disturbances (like a fault line in your vision). Sighting along a line of rivets or the edge of the wing or the wingtips, you can sometimes see a cleft that wavers. (For extra credit, one can also find a smaller shockwave on the engine nacelle about 6" to 12" back form the leading edge by sitting in line with the front of the engine and watching for a visual fault line in the ground scenery passing just above the engine.)

As the plane goes faster, the shockwave is pushed back toward the trailing edge. As the plane slows, it moves toward the leading edge. And during turbulence, the wave will flutter.

For most of you.. a girlfriend.. (1)

nurb432 (527695) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952836)

Ok, so its a joke.. laugh...

Space anyone? (2, Insightful)

Sviams (708968) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952846)

I guess I'm one of the weird types who would be quite content to die after getting the opportunity to go into space and see our world from an elevated perspective...

Language with two past tenses (2, Interesting)

Ivan Todoroski (132826) | more than 9 years ago | (#10952859)

or learning Choctaw, a language with two past tenses - one for giving information which is definitely true, the other for passing on material taken without checking from someone else.

For what its worth, my native language, Macedonian, has two past tenses almost exactly like the above: one for things you personally witnessed, and the other for things you don't know first hand but think are true.

I find this quite natural. Imagine like having a separate past tense form for "she was there" as opposed to "she supposedly was there".

99 things left to go. :)

How about... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952865)

sex?

like I always say... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952868)

The scientists also offer five things to get organised for your remains after death. These include...having the carbon in your ashes turned into a diamond.

Live hard, die hard...

Being on /. and all... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#10952879)

...getting laid?
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  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>