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Medical Students Profile Middle-Earth's Gollum

CmdrTaco posted more than 8 years ago | from the he's-gotta-be-in-my-family-tree-somewhere dept.

Lord of the Rings 164

An anonymous reader writes "Several medical students and a lecturer in 'old age psychiatry' have written up their analysis and final diagnosis of Gollum in the British Medical Journal. Other readers note the possibility of metal toxicity from the One Ring in their Rapid Responses." Hopefully everyone has had a few days off to 'Research' this by watching RotK's extended cut.

cancel ×

164 comments

Inspiration (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185294)

Maybe they saw him [ebay.com] and decided to shake that family tree to see what falls out!

Lead poisoning! (3, Funny)

mOoZik (698544) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185295)

It was lead, I tells ya! ;)

Site's melted. :(

Re:Lead poisoning! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185315)

The most important question is "WHO THE FUCK CARES?!".

And why would you waste time and money on an "extended" version of a movie you've already seen about a book you've already read? God damn people are stupid and desperate. OMFG MUST SPEND ANOTHER $75 TO SEE THE FOUR MINUTES I DIDN'T GET IN THE THEATRICAL VERSION! OH NOES!!!!oneoneone!!!leven!!!!

Re:Lead poisoning! (0, Offtopic)

msh104 (620136) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185366)

the extended "return of the king" is over 40 minutes longer... well worth your money if you ask me.

Re:Lead poisoning! (1)

mOoZik (698544) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185410)

I didn't mean to suggest otherwise. The site was Slashdotted before I could even check it out, thus my tongue-in-cheek suggestion of lead poisoning. :)

Re:Lead poisoning! (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185332)

Still no cure for cancer. Glad the LOTR fanboys with the power to make a difference are focusing on important issues. What next, a deep analysis of Lord Vader's life support system?

Re:Lead poisoning! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185383)

Glad the LOTR fanboys with the power to make a difference are focusing on important issues.
Yeah, there's been like a tsunami in Asia and stuff.

Medical people please profile: +1, Interesting (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11186119)

for democracy's sake, the world's most dangerous and inarticulate "leader" [whitehouse.org]

Thanks and happy holidays,
Kilgore Trout, CEO

it's not loading (-1, Offtopic)

PastaLover (704500) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185296)

This must be one of the fastest /.ings in the history of /.

Re:it's not loading (1)

bird603568 (808629) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185310)

i would have to agree there 3 replys and its down. Maybe they can but an award on there site? Can somnebody get a google cache up?

Re:it's not loading (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185695)

You must be new here.

Moll.

Old News (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185297)

This was on Fark ages ago.

First Post!!!!! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185299)

I love a hot jewish girl, suck it!

that was quick (-1, Redundant)

sailforsingapore (833339) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185319)

NOOOO...come back, my precious... /. effect in full force today, I see. That might be a record.

Wow (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185322)

I'm glad our educational system has progressed to the point that students can get acclaim for watching fantasy movies and devoting their time to "studies" of this kind. The human condition is so much better off now. Thank you very little.

Re:Wow (2, Insightful)

spikexyz (403776) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185336)

Yes, cause students should spend every second on serious study. That's the way to stay sane.

Re:Wow (3, Funny)

Bastard of Subhumani (827601) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185399)

Yes, cause students should spend every second on serious study. That's the way to stay sane.
Difference is that these days you can major in things that 10 years ago were hobbies - you know, that you did after class.

I mean, Master of Arts in Klingon?

Re:Wow (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185522)

why not? It was created as an actual language.

Now, I would have a hard time paying for my sons education if his goal was to achieve a Master of Arts in Klingon, but who are we to tell others what their degree should be?

Re:Wow (0, Offtopic)

Edie O'Teditor (805662) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185771)

but who are we to tell others what their degree should be?
Taxpayers?

Re:Wow (2, Insightful)

yuri benjamin (222127) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185963)

OTOH, studying Klingon or Quenyan as part of a linguistics degree could be a useful mental exercise.

Re:Wow (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185381)

Get a freaking life. I bet you complain about everything.

Re:Wow (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185402)

So...you're British, eh? Or just like to complain?

Re:Wow (5, Interesting)

cenonce (597067) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185477)

My wife is a psychology professor. One of her class exercises in Abnormal psychology is to have students "diagnose" a charcater from a movie. She says it helps students get interested in the topic to be able to write about a movie in which they are interested. Sure, she gets the standards: Norman Bates from "Psycho", Jack Nicholson's character in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and Glen Close from "Fatal Attraction". But she has recently gotten Jake Gyllenhall's character from Donnie Darko. I don't think she has gotten a paper on Gollum yet.

BTW, since the site has been blasted by Slashdotters, I can't get read it, but her guess is that Gollum has dissociative identity disorder. I'll be interested to see what the article says.

Re:Wow (1)

lawpoop (604919) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185620)

"But she has recently gotten Jake Gyllenhall's character from Donnie Darko"

How hard is that? There are several scenes in the movie where he's with a psych[ologist|iatrist], and one where she even diagnoses him for his parents. I guess you could say that, as the audience, we see things that he may not tell his shrink. On the other hand, according to the movie, he clearly has no mental problems whatsoever; he's just the animated dead, gotten off of God's uh, line, and he has to get reality back in order. See? Simple.

Re:Wow (2, Interesting)

hchaos (683337) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185778)

BTW, since the site has been blasted by Slashdotters, I can't get read it, but her guess is that Gollum has dissociative identity disorder. I'll be interested to see what the article says.

The site seems to be back up, but for those too lazy to read the article, the final diagnosis is schizoid personality disorder.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (in the article, referred to as multiple personality disorder) was ruled out because his two personalities are aware of each other and are present simultaneously and have conversations with each other. In DID, only one personality will manifest itself at a time, and the personalities are unaware of each other.

Schizophrenia was ruled out because he does not show evidence of delusions.

Re:Wow (3, Funny)

vsprintf (579676) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186029)

. . .the final diagnosis is schizoid personality disorder.

Unfortunately, the diagnosis comes too late to help poor Gollum who refused to seek professional help and died during the commission of a theft. Let this be a warning to all who suddenly develop a taste for sushi and flashy jewelry to seek help from your local Elf immediately.

The Conclusion: (1)

schtum (166052) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185872)

"Gollum displays pervasive maladaptive behaviour that has been present since childhood ... His odd interests and spiteful behaviour have led to difficulty in forming friendships ..."

Wow, that sounds a lot like me, and nearly everyone else who reads Slashdot, I'd bet. He is ultimately diagnosed as schizoid [mentalhealth.com] . Raise your hand if you can honestly say you don't exhibit at least 3 of those symptoms.

Re:The Conclusion: (1)

Nasarius (593729) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185990)

Yeah, I'd say the last four criteria probably describe a lot of /.ers. But, IIRC, mental illness of any kind is a matter of degree (severity). Many may exhibit some of these symptoms, but not nearly to the degree of a true schizophrenic.

Re:The Conclusion: (2, Informative)

budgenator (254554) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186260)

One of the things that make your first psyc clinical so challenging is how normal the patients are, not how abnormal.

Re:Wow (2, Funny)

RenaissanceGeek (668842) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185529)

Hello! These are MEDICAL students! An EXTREMELY important part of their field is the ability to arrive at diagnoses when presented with a set of symptoms. (It's so important that Discover magazine devotes one of its montly columns to the narration of a tricky medical diagnosis: it's called "Vital Signs.")

And who says that those symptoms HAVE to come from firsthand observation? If they did, no doctor could ever phone up a colleague for a consultation, or derive any worthwhile conclusions from reading a patient's chart.

In fact, I once read a rather interresting passage in a novel about a retired physician who intended to spend his declining years diagnosing the maladys of the characters from great works of literature. The example given is from Hamlet. In Act III, Scene IV, Hamlet kills Polonius, and proceeds to hide the body. According to what I read, it could be derived from Hamlet's responses in Act IV, Scene I to queries as to the body's location (e.g. "if you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up the stairs into the lobby.") and others that Hamlet had hid the body in with the King's chamber-pot (to mask the smell of rot), and it was unlikely to be found accidentally, as the King suffered from constipation.

Unfortunately, I believe that the novel was borrowed, as I can't find it on my shelves.

Re:Wow (1)

RenaissanceGeek (668842) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185596)

Gah. I return my volume of The Complete Shakespeare to the shelf, only to find the novel that I failed to name above:
The Cunning Man [barnesandnoble.com]
by
Robertson Davies

HIPAA Violation! (5, Funny)

Average_Joe_Sixpack (534373) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185323)

Revealing Gollum's private medical information constitutes a violation of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996.

Re:HIPAA Violation! (2, Interesting)

pe1rxq (141710) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185346)

Does that act cover the medical information of the deceased to? (Lava stream usually are kind of lethal....)
And if it does is there a maximum time limit? (This is supposed to happened a long time ago)

Jeroen

Re:HIPAA Violation! (1)

stienman (51024) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185646)

(Lava stream usually are kind of lethal....)

Lava is more dense (higher mass per volume) than Gollum. He should have floated only partially submerged in a tortured agony.

Oh, and HIPAA doesn't cover any creatures other than humans, so Gollum is unprotected by this act anyway.

-Adam

Re:HIPAA Violation! (1)

Catbeller (118204) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185860)

Ah, but Gollum was a hobbit, and Tolkien once, during a commercial break, told an interviewer that hobbits were humans. Short and furry footed, but still of the race of men. HIPAA applies specieswise.

Re:HIPAA Violation! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185377)

Heh :). Nice one--wish I had mod points right now!

Not Entirely Accurate, Anyway (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185404)

Actually, the diagnosis is not entirely accurate [zenbuzz.org] .

And... (2, Interesting)

Doc Squidly (720087) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185437)

and it would also violate the Privacy Act of 1974 [usdoj.gov] .

Re:HIPAA Violation! (2, Insightful)

Yonder Way (603108) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185494)

That's a very American-centric joke. Considering this was done in the UK, not nearly as funny.

Re:HIPAA Violation! (4, Interesting)

jabuzz (182671) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185567)

In five days time due to the wonders of the Freedom of Information Act there is no such thing as privacy in medical records in the U.K. any more - period. Want full disclosure of Tony Blairs recent operation, then it's all yours provided you cough up the money.

Re:HIPAA Violation! (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11186261)

Absolute nonsense.

Practices will have to supply anonymised info on their population and practice guidelines etc. Patient personal data WILL NOT be available. Any healthcare personnel releasing this information would be subject to action by their professional regulators, as they always have.

Gollums equipment (4, Funny)

Xpilot (117961) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185328)

My friend and I theorized that under that dirty little loincloth of his, Gollum probably doesn't have much of his manhood left, having shrivelled up and dried off after centuries of disuse. Maybe we should write it up and send off our theory to the British Medical Journal too. I'd feel so erudite seeing my name published there.

Re:Gollums equipment (1)

blahbooboo (839709) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185544)

He probably didn't have much manhood to start with...he was, after all, a hobbit! :D

Re:Gollums equipment (2, Funny)

afd8856 (700296) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185572)

not likely. Imagine Golum being a voyeurist. He has invisibility, has a lot of time to burn, what else can he do than polish his "ring"?

Re:Gollums equipment (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185691)

So he lost his "Precious" in more ways than one?

Re:Gollums equipment (2, Insightful)

Bloater (12932) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185726)

The Gollum CG model is anatomically correct... There is a scene in one of the films where you see his wee willy winkle.

Re:Gollums equipment (1)

Kalak (260968) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185817)

That is way more information than I needed. And a picture I don't want to see.

Re:Gollums equipment (1)

yuri benjamin (222127) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185970)

There is a scene in one of the films where you see his wee willy winkle.

Please excuse me while I go and gauge out my eyes. *shudder*

Re:Gollums equipment (1)

ZeeExSixAre (790130) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186389)

Maybe someone can sell off his penis for more than the $40,000 an American urologist paid for Napoleon's penis: here [carleton.ca]

star wars & neurology (5, Interesting)

cbnewman (106449) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185329)

my neurology professor gave a lecutre about neurologic disorders in star wars. the most interesting part was the observation that yoda may have suffered from William's Syndrome [wikipedia.org]

Re:star wars & neurology (1)

lawpoop (604919) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185418)

Oh, is that what causes people to have a lifespan almost a millenium long?

Re:star wars & neurology (1, Funny)

zephc (225327) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185446)

from the page: "...mental retardation coupled with an unusual facility with language, a love for music..."

So... it... must-be-named... after-William....... Shat-NER!

Re:star wars & neurology (2, Funny)

Erik Hollensbe (808) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185662)

No, that would require acting in iambic pentameter.

Re:star wars & neurology (1)

Scrameustache (459504) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186094)

yoda may have suffered from William's Syndrome

It makes you green, with 3 fingers?

Er.. Not Paranoid (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185330)

Does it still count as paranoinia if you are right?
They reckon Gollum was 'feeling' persecuted by being watched by The Eye of Sauron - classic schizo fantasy elements in our world but in Middle Earth in fact true. -
Now if only they Dentists would take me seriously when I tell him the MPAA are monitoring my downloads through my fillings.

I don't know about Gollum... (4, Funny)

Pecisk (688001) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185339)

but web site diagnosis is clear: slashdotted.

Re:I don't know about Gollum... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185698)

What I want to know is... why doesn't slashdot get slashdotted?

Erm.. (0, Flamebait)

Turn-X Alphonse (789240) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185351)

He's a fictional character, who was written by a guy who can no longer talk. So you can't tell WHAT is wrong with him, because we have no evidence of it.

So untill we can revive corpses, lets stop being silly.

Re:Erm.. (5, Insightful)

sailforsingapore (833339) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185367)

Let the students have their fun. I'm sure this study was done with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Re:Erm.. (4, Insightful)

blike (716795) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185395)

No need to get your panties in a wad, they're not "being silly".

No one is saying that the author intentionally characterized Gollum with a certain disorder in mind. It was an excercise in psychiatry. If a human presented with these signs, this is how they would approach it.

Don't ba a (-1, Flamebait)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185501)

dork.

Man, you must be a riot at parties... or would be if you were ever invited.

Re:Erm.. (1)

Bastard of Subhumani (827601) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185510)

So untill we can revive corpses, lets stop being silly.
I'm a dead man of Dunharrow, you insenstive clod!!!!!!

My personal conclusion... (4, Insightful)

Faust7 (314817) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185375)

Gollum suffers from a severe case of being a book/movie character with behavior patterns that may have some similarities to real-world ailments, but which are ultimately artificial constructs of Tolkein's/Jackson's minds and therefore fruitless to "research." :D

Re:My personal conclusion... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185392)

Oh Wah...you party pooper. Why don't you go kick your dog and beat your wife and kids.

Re:My personal conclusion... (1)

TheLoneCabbage (323135) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185450)

Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you!

Re:My personal conclusion... (1)

DrEldarion (114072) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185479)

Thank you, Franck.

Re:My personal conclusion... (2, Informative)

biobogonics (513416) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185480)

Gollum suffers from a severe case of being a book/movie character with behavior patterns that may have some similarities to real-world ailments, but which are ultimately artificial constructs of Tolkein's/Jackson's minds and therefore fruitless to "research."

It's well known that medical students often go off on far out diagnostic limbs (particularly when doing self diagnosis). Hence the old medical proverb "When you hear hoofbeats think of horses, not of zebras."

My diagnosis of the students: (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185391)

Idiots.

Metal toxicity? (4, Interesting)

RenaissanceGeek (668842) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185403)

Hmmm. Could the ring have been made of a gold/mercury amalgamation? That WOULD explain it's being maleable enough to fit fingers of different sizes.

Now, to figure out just what alloy that it was that the embedded scrollwork was made from which would glow red at a temperature below the melting point of the amalgam (something with phosphorous in it, perhaps?)....

Re:Metal toxicity? (1)

Rosonowski (250492) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185426)

That, or it was magic.

Failing that, it might have just been a poor fit on everyone but Sauron.

Re:Metal toxicity? (1)

Monkey Angst (577685) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185828)

In the films, it did show (although very subtly) the ring changing sizes after it was removed from Sauron's gauntlet and held in Isildor's hand.

Re:Metal toxicity? (1)

Have Blue (616) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185803)

It's not just "below the melting point"- the Ring does not seem to absorb heat at all. It's at or below room temperature after being in a fire for several seconds. Maybe the scrollwork is made of the same stuff as those "magic" coffee mugs? :P

Re:Metal toxicity? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185923)


I'm glad to see people trying to figure out why a magical ring which turns its wearer invisible can fit any size finger.

Re:Metal toxicity? ;-) (1)

Scrameustache (459504) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186050)

That WOULD explain it's being maleable enough to fit fingers of different sizes.

Does it explain its malevolance, slipping off fingers at the worst possible moments, or refusing to come off when it would be best if it did?

I didn't know mercury was sentient...

Re:Metal toxicity? ;-) (1)

Artifakt (700173) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186228)

Malable, sentient & malevolent?
It's that stuff the T2 was made out of, Duh!
Forget going to Mt. Doom, we'll just take it to the particle accellerator torus at Orthanc.

Reminds of of an old Styx tune .... (4, Funny)

Luscious868 (679143) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185408)

"Too much time on my hands...."

Reminds me of an old Dusty Springfield tune .... (1)

Zims Manson (629080) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185451)

"I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself"

Re:Reminds of of an old Styx tune .... (2)

dswensen (252552) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185901)

Yeah, why don't these medical students published in the British Medical Journal get lives?

Re:Reminds of of an old Styx tune .... (1)

fisheye1969 (842355) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186150)

Unlike you of course who is too busy to bother with this kind of nonsense... :P

Check google news for clips (5, Informative)

bishr (262019) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185472)

Google news has a few articles about it - here's clips from the original article via other articles on google. By the way, slashdotting a medical journal is a bad thing - I'm a medical student and I rely on these resources to guide or double-check decisions, or to keep up to date.

"A space occupying lesion such as a brain tumour is unlikely as his symptoms are long standing. Gollum's diet is extremely limited, consisting only of raw fish. Vitamin B-12 deficiency may cause irritability, delusions, and paranoia. His reduced appetite and loss of hair and weight may be associated with iron deficiency anaemia. He is hypervigilant and does not seem to need much sleep. This, accompanied by his bulging eyes and weight loss, suggests hyperthyroidism. Gollum's dislike of sunlight may be due to the photosensitivity of porphyria. Attacks may be induced by starvation and accompanied by paranoid psychosis. ... On initial consideration schizophrenia seems a reasonable diagnosis. However, in the context of the culture at the time it is unlikely. Delusions are false, unshakeable beliefs, not in keeping with the patient's culture. In Middle Earth, the power of the ring is a reality. The passivity phenomena Gollum experiences are caused by the ring, and these symptoms occur in all ring bearers. Gollum does not fulfil the ICD-10 criteria for the diagnosis of schizophrenia.

The presence of two personalities, Gollum and Sméagol, raises the possibility of multiple personality disorder. ..."

"There is no disorder of the form of thought. He uses neologisms such as "triksy" and "hobbitses." Gollum has nihilistic thoughts, believing that he is a murderer, liar, and thief; although there is some basis in fact for this and he shows little guilt or remorse. He is preoccupied with, and deeply desires, the ring. He has obsessive thoughts but no compulsions, though he would do anything for the ring. He is hostile towards Frodo, the current owner of the ring. He has paranoid ideation about Sauron ("the eye is always watching") and about Samwise Gamgee ("the fat hobbit... he knows"). Gollum has difficulty controlling his thoughts and actions, exacerbated by prolonged contact with the ring. As Gandalf and Frodo have similar symptoms in the presence of the ring, we can attribute this somatic passivity to the ring. There are features of dissociation. Smeagol has separated his personality and is now Gollum as well."

"Gollum displays pervasive maladaptive behaviour that has been present since childhood with a persistent disease course. His odd interest and spiteful behaviour have led to difficulty in forming friendships and distress to others," she said.

"He fulfils seven of the nine criteria for schizoid personality disorder, and if we must label Gollum's problems we believe that this is the most likely diagnosis,"

Wiki entry on Schizoid [wikipedia.org]

Re:Check google news for clips (1)

Bastard of Subhumani (827601) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185528)

The presence of two personalities, Gollum and Sméagol, raises the possibility of multiple personality disorder. ..."
Next up: possession of two (2) legs strongly suggests a biped, claims report.

Re:Check google news for clips (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185582)

Most apes have 2 legs but aren't bipeds ;)

Re:Check google news for clips (1)

stimpy (11763) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186328)

Cows and horses have 2 legs, also...

Re:Check google news for clips (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185693)

Also a medical student and can confidently say that slashdotting the British Medical Journal is for a couple of hours is not going to harm many people. Its for social health science, teaching and news rather than cutting edge medical research. I can't imagine anyone relying on it to make urgent clinical decisions.

dfdfdffd (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#11185484)

dfdffdfddfdffddffddfdfdfdfdfdfdf

Without reading the article, my immediate thought (1, Insightful)

ylikone (589264) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185500)

is that gollum is a obsessive compulsive, paranoid schizophrenic. Am I right?

Re:Without reading the article, my immediate thoug (1)

FuzzzyLogik (592766) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185579)

actually.. you miss the fact that he has split personalities... which if i recall correctly is called Dissociative personality disorder... throw that in there too...

Re:Without reading the article, my immediate thoug (1)

budgenator (254554) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186335)

No the personalities can directly communicate ruling out Dissociative personality disorder. The ring allways struck me as parasitic in nature, feeding of the current owner's normalicy and promoting it's own agenda; but I'll admit a certain symbiotic element in that it prolong it's host's lifespan. So it would seem more like a possesion rather than an illness.

Re:Without reading the article, my immediate thoug (1)

Xformer (595973) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185606)

Not to mention dissociative personality disorder.

Of course, being under the influence of an embodiment of evil for 500 years may have those effects... who knows?

Chronic Masturbation Syndrome (-1)

gelfling (6534) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185506)

Brought on by acute No Girlfrienditis.

dioxin (0, Offtopic)

fuck_this_shit (727749) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185537)

that ukrainian dude looks like a pudgy gollum by now

Trusts them not, those doctorses (0)

ilsa (197564) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185840)

Hello! Has it occured to these medical geniuses in the making that Gollum is not human? That his physiology and biochemistry might be naturally very different from what their textbooks suggest is "normal"? Unless these people also happen to have degrees in veterinary science and xenobiology, any "conclusions" they reach is pure conjecture.

Oh yeah, and if that weren't enough, Gollum is fictional.

In the immortal words of a thousand Fark headlines, "Still no cure for cancer."

Re:Trusts them not, those doctorses (0, Offtopic)

wheany (460585) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185903)

You suck.

Re:Trusts them not, those doctorses (1)

petrus4 (213815) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185930)

Words truly cannot express how much I (and I'm guessing a very, very large portion of the rest of the world's population) despise this particular usage of the word hello.

While we're on the subject of the Lord of the Rings, I tend to think people who use/encourage such linguistic mutilations should be legally required to learn the Black Speech of Mordor...because that way if they really want a language to mutilate, that one is sufficiently ugly already (of course, it was designed to be) that in that case it wouldn't matter.

Learn a greater appreciation for, and usage of, the English language, you unlettered Philistine. If you were to do some serious research you would probably discover that it is substantially different from the bastardised pathois which you customarily utter.

Methinks Caesar is rolling over in his grave. In the case of the Americans, culturally speaking it truly is a scenario of the barbarians themselves having formed their own empire.

Re:Trusts them not, those doctorses (1)

man_ls (248470) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186136)

You, sir, have murdered the Queen's English.

To the gallows!

Re:Trusts them not, those doctorses (1)

sailforsingapore (833339) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186187)

In the immortal words of a thousand Fark headlines, "Still no cure for cancer."

...And yet, you are sittig here cracking wise about it. So, for the moment, let the medical student have some fun, unless you are planning to get up from the computer, stop reading /. and go save the planet.

Pointless because of the ring? (1)

Lord_Dweomer (648696) | more than 8 years ago | (#11185922)

While I completely understand the purpose of the study, I don't think it is useful to match Gollum up to any disorders that we recognize today. Why?

Because we don't know the effects of the ring psychologically. We have some vague descriptions, and we get to see some of the results, but nobody has a clue how that thing works etc.

Gollum is *way* older than 587! (5, Interesting)

Weaselmancer (533834) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186177)

Ok, even by Slashdot standards this is going to be a seriously geeky post. Prepare yourself - you have been warned.

Gollum is at least 969 years old, and probably a whole lot older. Proof follows.

In the Silmarillion, there is a quote in "Of The Rings of Power and the Third age" that goes as follows:

...the One Ring was indeed found again, by a chance more strange than even Mithrandir had foreseen; and it was hidden from Curunír and from Sauron. For it had been taken from Anduin long ere they sought for it, being found by one of the small fisher-folk that dwelt by the River, ere the Kings failed in Gondor;

Gollum found the ring while there was still a ruling king in Gondor, before the reign of the Stewards.

The reign of the Stewards began in TA 2050, after the death of King Eärnur [masterliness.com] at the hands of the Witch-King. So we know that Gollum had the ring before TA 2050.

The ring was destroyed in TA 3019. That makes Gollum at least 3019-2050=969, and that's only if he found the ring on the very day the Stewards claimed Gondor.

The Third Age begins with the defeat of Sauron by the Last Alliance. The earliest Gollum could have found the ring would be the day Isuldur lost it (TA 2), so he could be as old as 3019-2=3017.

So Gollum is somewhere between 969 and 3017 years old. Splitting the difference makes him probably around 2000 or so. In any event, he's a lot older than 587.

So how's that? Geeky enough for you? =)

My Diagnosis: One Ring Addiction Disorder. (2, Insightful)

meldroc (21783) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186254)

One thing that was mentioned in the movie commentaries, but not mentioned in the medical journal reports is that the One Ring, along with other mystical phenomena, provides sensations of euphoria to its bearer. Also, if a bearer is deprived of contact with the One Ring, he experiences symptoms akin to withdrawl. All bearers of the One Ring experienced these symptoms, but because Gollum had possession of the Ring for over five centuries, his symptoms are extreme. So, on top of Antisocial Personality Disorder, Dissociative Personality Disorder, as well as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I would have to diagnose Gollum with addiction to the One Ring, and have him checked into a substance abuse treatment center as soon as possible.

House (3, Funny)

DJTodd242 (560481) | more than 8 years ago | (#11186381)

When asked for comment, Dr. Gregory House muttered something sarcastic and hobbled away.
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