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How to Destroy Your Computer

CmdrTaco posted more than 15 years ago | from the so-thats-how-ya-do-it dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 129

Dan's Data writes " Destroying your own computer is every user's right and is the pattern of behaviour expected by the manufacturer s and, especially, repair personnel, whose very livelihood is put in peril by those users who perversely persist in correctly upgrading their equipment." Just read it. Its funny.

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BOFH (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928083)

Finally one of the most secretly hidden secrets of the BOFHs is being revealed! Aren't you happy?

Apple logo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928084)

That Apple pays them for advertising.

destroying your computer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928085)

Do they really? When I get close to a MS machine, they seem to work better, in hopes that I'll put linux on them even faster. For instance, my bosses machine performs well for me, but not for her. I keep telling her that if I put linux on there, it would never mess up. She still doesn't believe me, even though she's happy to ask me to fix her computer again.

Apple logo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928086)

...and, right below that (the link to win an iMac), there's a link to win a 500MHz Pentium III.

And not far below that, a link to a PC crisis line. So what's your point?

Plugging the motherboard cables the wrong way. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928087)

I've plugged the motherboard cables in the wrong way, and had no permanent damage occur to the machine. The power supply just wouldn't do anything in that configuration. Drive power cables, on the other hand, are quite another story (tried to make a Y cable, but inverted the wiring).

486 rotated? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928088)

I've but in my 486 rotated such that the text is oriented backwards (wonder why they did that.. to burn the clueless users like me, i guess :)), and all it did was not boot..

Static is your friend... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928089)

Woaah, that same thing happend to a friend of mine. Tons of white smoke cam out o' the back of his computer case. He said His PC speaker's wire was being pinched or something. Is this a common thing, pc speakers catching on fire?

Apple logo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928090)

Hmm... I think that site may have something to do with computers. This is BAD.

destroying your computer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928091)

I earn hefty commissions when replacing expensive parts such as Apple SYSTEM boards (take that you Apple tech support WANKERS!!!!). I heartily recommend that suggestions in this article be followed to the letter.

Static is your friend... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928092)

My uncle recently bought a computer from Dell and his computer caught on fire one night so he sent it back and they "fixed" it and a couple of weeks later it caught on fire again.

Another way to destroy your computer: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928093)

try popping out your bios chip, turning it around and replugging it in. 20 seconds later, touch it and if your skin on your finger melts off, smile and grin.

The death toll mounts (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928094)

Thank god for anon posting... I couldn't tell this otherwise:

10 3c509 NICs
2 486 motherboards
2 686 motherboards
3 15" monitors

all rendered non-functional and in the case of 2 monitors and a motherboard, rendered alight...

If you cut out the power switches on the machines and twist the wires together, make sure to tape them so as not to have them weld themselves to any grounded metal they touch... Circut breakers are also a nice thing to have... and it's probably not good to stack things so close together that they'll touch when knocked over by a violently spasming tech...

Virus alert (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928095)

That happened to me too, according to Dell this is caused by the virus Melissa.











(Can you spell s-a-r-c-a-s-m ?)

My smoke story (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928096)

I once made smoke come out of a "very important" computer -- the Netware
file server for a certain medical company that I better not name. My boss
and I were upgrading the motherboard, and somehow I managed to plug the
speaker wire into a live power connector. A few seconds later, it started
smoking as the insulation around the fire started burning. Poof! It was
quite a cloud. We got a fire extinguisher for that room the next day. :-)

My boss laughed at me and still teases me now and then when I'm programming,
"Hey _____, wanna come over here and plug in a speaker wire for us?" D'oh!
I don't think I'll ever live that one down.

BTW, except for the melted insulation, the machine worked fine afterwards
and the poor suckers are still using it as their main server. If only
they knew...

screws type (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928097)

First of all the guy mentions all these weird screws. Personally, I've opended up a whole bunch of computer cases (Apple, Commodore, Gateway, Sony, Packard Bell, Compaq, and a few others) and all of the screws are flat head.

It must depend where you are from. All the computer cases I've seen (IBM, Apple, Compaq, HP, Sun) used different type of screws head.

E-Mail to newbies everywere. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928098)

Watch the fun begin.

Apple logo on Honda Civic (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928099)

A guy in my apartment building has a decked-out Civic with every performance part sticker in the world on it, including, for unknown reasons, an Apple logo on the inside of the hood (over the engine).

Virus alert-Win98 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928100)

Are you certain it wasn't because of Windows being installed?

Death By AGP (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928101)

I almost pissed my pants when the picture tube exploded while I was playing!

Sounds like an ad for an over-the-top video card...game play so intense that...

Monitor Destruction HOWTO-ouch (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928102)

Hey what about the other periphials?
Howto destroy a laser printer.
Run that film that they use to make overhead transparancies thru it.

Genius HD destruction (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928103)

A couple years ago, I attempted to install a hard drive with the computer running. I was lazy, to say the least. Anyway, it's a bit like that old board game Operation.. if you have steady hands you can pull it off. I didn't have steady hands that day. I swung the drive too close to the power supply and a visible spark jumped from the drive to the power supply casing, destroying the drive. I use that drive as a bedside coaster, now.

Death By AGP-Overdrive. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928104)

Now we know why the XF86Config Howto warns people that they can destroy their monitor with incorrect settings.

Testing labs. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928105)

People who work at those testing labs have all the fun.

Simplest and best way to destroy a computer.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928106)

Even worse it messes up your wallet.

ribbon cables (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928107)

A better way to do this is to very carefully shave the key off of the connector on the cable. That way if you kill it accidentally, all you need to do is get another cable.

Steven

Someone said, "But, everyone's doing it."
And I replied, "That's the best reason not to."
- S.K.

A friend of mine got his computer destroyed by ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928108)


... these 3 FBI looking guys. They riddled his new PIII full of bullet holes. My friend had been trying to locate some guy named Morpheus.

Apple (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928109)

Well one of the things I liked when working on apples was that you didn't need tools to open them up and work on them.

On the subject of which... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928110)

http://www.dansdata.com/comics/comic0001.htm

Power Connection to Motherboard (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928111)

Actually, at one time they were. You'll notice that on the power supply connectors there are a few tabs, and the tabs are arranged differently on each connector. The motherboard power connector is supposed to be keyed, my old 286 is that way. They only way you are going to get the connectors wrong on my 286 is if you force them. But nowdays most aren't. That's cost cutting for you. :( At least you can't goof the new ATX connector (at least not without some effort).

Of course, my 286 is from the days when they actually put some effort into building the computers. It only weighs about 40 pounds. ;)

Stephen

"Any time."
--The predator in Aliens vs. Predator on the Atari Jaguar

"Hotswapping" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928112)

Hotswapping components is such a rush man.
Damage list:

2 socket 7 motherboaords
a 15" monitor
my last eisa grapichs card (last week, my 486 is now officially dead...this was done by hotswapping a monitor, and shorting the card, cool!!)

I also run my power supplys "naked" to increase air flow in the case, thats an accident waiting to
happen...hee hee hee

My story (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928113)

During my old development, I managed to completely blow up a 486 in the following way. It's still my favourite: it's so efficient. I simply tried to put a probe into one of the ISA bus slot and slipped it. I heard "puff", I smelt something, and I found that the thing won't work. By trial and error, I know that the MB, the CPU, the display card and the IDE card are all non-functional.

After some investigation, I've found that I simply shorted -12V into one of the data bus signals.

110V220V (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928114)

I once flipped the 110V/220V switch at the back
of the power supply.

It didn't work out very well, and that blue smoke didn't smell too good either.

I've always hated screws. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928115)

They just get in your damn way. They never fit the one screw driver you have and if they do, the head has been so badly deformed by your previous attempts to unscrew them that you can't open them anyway. The best thing in that situation to do is chop the head of the screw either by force with ordinary plyers or with a knife. Then you have to hope you can pull out the rest of the screw with plyers!

Don't get me started with computer cases, I must have cut myself a thousand times on those and bent a couple of harddrives trying to get them to fit in.

why aren't computers user-friendly? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928116)

i have a harddrive that i can't remove from my puter because the screws are fubar.

why are the insides of a computer so frustrating?

Apple - upgrade hell? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928117)

The 8500 and 9500 are/were a pain... But the tight confines of a Gateway tower (either the metal case or the fluffy plastic case) aren't much better.. As for Apple upgradability what do you say we look at a couple more recent models?

Ever tried a 9600??
Push a green button on the top, remove the side of the case, lay the box on it's side, unplug the power cord, flip two little green plastic levers, SWING the power supply and the drives out of the way, and insert the DIMM(s) into one of the twelve slots.. The beige G3 models use essentially the same case (actually it's the 8600 case and has room for one 3 PCI cards in the lower portion of the case), and the b&w G3's look appear easier..

The 7200/7600/g3 desktop cases are also a joke.. Press two buttons on the front of the case, slide off the case, flip two lever, SWING the drives and the power supply out of the way, and insert the DIMM(s) into one of the 4 slots (3 on the g3).

On 8600/9600 machines:
Now that we've covered RAM, what do you say we look at upgrading the processor?
Push a green button on the top, remove the side of the case, lay the box on it's side (it easier to see what you doing) carefully remove the processor card (looks similar to a PCI card), and push the upgrade card into place. The new card could have multiple processors, such as duel 604e chips or a 400Mhz G3 processor.

There's something very appealling about owning a machine that can be upgraded rather than replaced ever year or two.. The funny thing is, I haven't had any problems playing Unreal on my two year old 9600/233 and don't see a real reason to upgrade...

My favorites... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928132)

A friend decided his hard drive was too loud. What's the best way to fix a loud hard drive? Open it up and oil it... Needless to say, the hard drive didn't work for much longer.

Later on, he bought a CD-ROM drive. He found it didn't work, and called me to help him. He told me that he had plugged one of the plugs in backwards. I told him that that wouldn't break it, and looked inside his computer. I was wrong. He apparently managed to force the 4-pin power cable in upside down (first chipping off the plastic on both sides).

One that I did: I was trying to reverse-engineer the 3-pin CPU fan plug on my motherboard. I was measuring the voltage between 2 pins, and my hand slipped. I shorted +12V to 0V. Fortunatly, Epox had stuck a fuse on the fan plug, so instead of frying my whole motherboard, I only fried the fan plug (which is now plugged into one of the two other fan plugs).

- pm

hmm... grinning is not enough (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1928133)

I sometimes thought about buying a t-shirt
with the letters " JUST DESTROY IT " on it
and then wear it at work . . .

Now, there is my MESSAGE :

YES, READ THIS ARTICLE ! DESTROY IT !
CRASH YOUR DAMNED COMPUTER YOU DONT LIKE ANYWAY
THEY ARE JUST THERE TO OPPRESS YOU -
AND TECHIES DONT NEED SLEEP -
HELL, THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO WORK AT NIGHT
THE WHOLE WEEKEND THROUGH . . .
DONT CARE IF THEY WHINE AND BEG -
THEY WANT TO SUFFER ! LET THEM SUFFER REAL HARD
DESTROY YOUR COMPUTER NOW,
SMASH IT BURN IT HURT IT . . . .
WIPE ALL FILES ON YOUR HARD-DISK OUT
ALL OF THEM
TRASH theonlycopyofmyphdthesis.doc NOW !
TECHIES JUST WAIT FOR THAT . . .
AND DONT FORGET TO COOMMMMMPLAAAAIINNNNN !!!!!
AS ALWAYS THE TECHIES ARE AT FAULT
NEVER THE OS . . . THEY JUST PRETEND !
WINDOWS WOULD NEVER SELL THAT GOOD IF
IT WOULDNT BE THE BEST OS OF THE WORLD -
TECHIES ARE UNFRIENDLY - THEY USE A STRANGE
LANGUAGE NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND ALWAYS WANT
TO LOOK AT YOUR PRIVATE FILES . . .
AND THEY TELL YOU IF YOU SMELL !
PUT THEM TO TEST NOWWWWW !
DESTROY IT ! BURN THE SUCKER !

. . . thanks. Everything is fine now.

Im happy and dont want to hurt anyone.

I worked for three years in tech support.
If I ever meet Bill Gates, I swear I will
bite his tie off -

You can quote me on that.

Short-circuit the Power supply (1)

Kirth (183) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928134)

In the days of 80486, I had a 80386 which I used
as linux-server. Since I needed another serial
port which the board did not provide (actually,
even the first serial was on an ISA-Card), I
plugged in another card, turned on the machine
and - nothing. Not even the ventilator of the
power supply started. As soon as I removed the
serial card, it began to work again. Obviously,
something on the card was able to produce a
short-circuit which not only affected the board
but the power-supply as well. Weird.

The machine worked for several months as server;
had an Adaptec 1542 controller and was later
replaced with an 80486. With this 80486 I lost
two harddisks. The first had a headcrash during
a weekend. When I came back, the thing made an
awful noise, was very hot and refused to do
anything. So I replaced it and opened the disk.
Looks very nice on my shelf, with the marks. The
other disk I lost was due to inactivity. The thing
had been working for months until I took down the
machine for about an hour for a hardware-upgrade.
After that, it didn't work anymore. I guess it
was a crack on the circuit which widened while
the disk cooled down.

When I last month replaced the server with a new
one, I remarked another interesting fact: break
off one wing of the processor-ventilator and it
not only makes a terrific noise but also vibrates
heavily. I guess the board wouldn't honor that
if running for a long time.

Speaking of weird hardware-damage: Did anyone else
ever have a processor _glowing_? I had that with
an AMD x86, 80 Mhz. A cable was touching it, so
the plastic melted. On the processor there was
that spot with the plastic on it, which began
to glow afterwards, even after removal of the
cable. The socket was molten, the processor broke
into two parts when I removed it.

Frightening times (1)

Bobort (289) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928135)

Yeah, I tried frying a 486 by plugging it in wrong. There are a whole hell of a lot of wrong ways to plug a 486 in wrong (at least the one I had--there was an extra "ring" of pins in the socket). Damn thing still works...

Methods of destruction (1)

Bobort (289) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928136)

They don't make much mention of shorting various points on the motherboard to ground while the machine is running. I found out (on an already-broken machine) that shorting CPU pins to the case can have all manner of interesting and wierd effects. It's kind of hard to find ones that do any real damage, though. Oddly, most of them will do a hard-reset. It's pretty damn fun, in any case :)

Genius HD destruction (1)

shogun (657) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928137)

Heh you're lucky that you aren't also a coaster as well now. Although I'm guilty of working on computers with the power on quite a bit. Disconnecting hard drives usually doesn't affect the computer at all, unless its trying to access them at the time... Yanking out an active NIC is another matter altogether though...

Death By AGP (2)

gavinhall (33) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928139)

Posted by kenmcneil:

The best I've been able to do is destroy an older monitor with my new PII 400MHZ, 128 MB, and AGP 2x (w/ 8 megs) while playing a game of Unreal! I almost pissed my pants when the picture tube exploded while I was playing!

Frightening times (1)

demon (1039) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928140)

Apparently you've not worked on some of the recent Compaq systems that have those damned Torx-head screws. It's damn impossible to get the right size Torx-head driver to fit those stupid things.

Why would you want to destroy your computer? (1)

KnightStalker (1929) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928141)

A better question is, What kind of idiot would mock the author when he hasn't read the article?

Monitor Destruction HOWTO-ouch (1)

Paul Jakma (2677) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928142)

i've seen that one....

and they had the cheek to phone up and ask us to fix the printer under guarantee!!!

the mess a transparency makes when it goes through a printer fuser is pretty cool.. :)

Frightening times (1)

slothbait (2922) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928143)

>Second, on an old gateway 486 my roommate put the >power supply cables in wrong and turned it on. >Nothing happen. He simply switch the cables and >it worked fine. Maybe it was a good motherboard.

I've attached power supply cables backwards as well. My system did nothing and nothing was damaged, but it scared me half to death. I will forever have "black cables go on the *inside*" etched in my mind. Also, one of my friends accidentally put a 486 CPU in at a 90 degree angle from the correct position. He was lucky: when he powered up the system, nothing happened, and nothing was hurt. Again, though: it scared the hell out of us.

And all the PC screws I've ever seen have been basic Phillips heads.

--Lenny

//"You can't prove anything about a program written in C or FORTRAN.
It's really just Peek and Poke with some syntactic sugar."

Blue Sparks: Frightening but cool. (1)

slothbait (2922) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928144)

This is no fault of my own, but...

About four months after I bought my current monitor, the display went inexplicably dead. After a day or so, whenever I turned on the monitor, 2-inch long blue sparks would shoot out of the power supply in back, scorching my table and making impressive crackling noises. I showed it to my friends and they all agreed: it was seriously cool.

It was still well within warranty, so I shipped it back to Princeton with a nice note about the lightning. A few weeks later, I got it back, all fixed and fully functional. The note attached simply said: "resoldered power supply...".

I don't know if the electrical arcs hurt anything internally, but I'm still happily using this monitor 2 years later, so...

--Lenny

//"You can't prove anything about a program written in C or FORTRAN.
It's really just Peek and Poke with some syntactic sugar."

Monitor Destruction HOWTO (2)

dattaway (3088) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928148)

About bodily fluids in a computer... I had a cat that got a little sick on top of the monitor.

Good thing it was shut off while I was at work. When I was home, I turned it on, the screen had a slight flicker. I smelled something burning, but could not determine its source. It got real bad. That is when I discovered the smoke. When the cover was off, I had to scrape the shit off the high voltage section. It looked like it was close to catching fire...

A friend found a great way to destroy a 27 inch TV. Water a plant on the top when the tube is nice and hot. The neck will crack. That TV was a good source of parts for many projects.

shorts. (1)

zempf (4454) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928149)

I shorted my motherboard once, and the only ill effect it had was that it caused Windows to take 25 minutes to boot. Anyway, once it booted, it ran fine, but it took quite a while to get to that point. Weird stuff.


-mike kania

Death By AGP (1)

myconid (5642) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928150)

Sounds realistic....
Stan "Myconid" Brinkerhoff

Frightening times (1)

myconid (5642) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928151)

I had a 486SX server motherboard (32 simm slots, 10 isa slots..) that I hooked the cables up to wrong.. it kinda went pop.. never worked again..
Stan "Myconid" Brinkerhoff

Another way to destroy your computer: (1)

jmpvm (6160) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928152)

I once had a professor from the local community college bring in a computer that him and his students built with our parts (I worked at a small computer retailer). He said his keyboard port was bad, because it told him the keyboard was locked when it was not. I opened up the computer and he had the power for the 1/4" FLOPPY DRIVE plugged into the keylock pins on the motherboard.

The kicker: This guy teached a intro to computer hardware class.

Using Xfree to destroy a monitor (1)

enterfornone (7400) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928153)

I had a Linux book that reconed it was possible to set up Xfree to cause a monitor to burst into flames. Never tried it myself tho.

My only concern (1)

SEE (7681) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928154)

My only concern is that an intelligent user may be able to use the information in this article to avoid destroying his computer. I accordingly urge everyone to e-mail the author to revoke his article until it can be effectively stripped of all information that may help such a user.

My apologies (1)

SEE (7681) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928155)

My apologies. I forgot "intelligent user" was an oxymoron. Please ignore the previous post.

Other tips along these same lines... (1)

MAXOMENOS (9802) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928157)

Overclocking

Overclocking is an important part of any computer upgrade, because it makes your chips go much faster. However, you have to be careful when you overclock because sometimes, overclocking a chip can cause it to work incorrectly or damage it.

I learned this lesson many years ago when I overclocked my 286 chip to 300 MHz. (That's 286 MHz, right?) Well at this point the chip stopped working.

Computer chips work on blue smoke. I know this because when the blue smoke left the 286, it didn't work no more.

Another way to destroy your computer: (1)

Tycho (11893) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928159)

Another way to destroy hardware is to find some way to put the power cable for a hard drive upside down. There is something about 12 Volts that 5 Volt components just don't like one bit. What's also great about this is that the hard drive won't spin up and one might wonder if the power cable wasn't put in properly. Oh yeah and the smell isn't too pleasent either. :)

I've also done some really stupid things in my life like adjusting a potentiometer with a metal screwdriver on a monitor with the case off and the monitor on.

Apple - upgrade hell (1)

jago (12761) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928160)

Hah!
Ever try installing ram in a 9500?
First you need a flathead to open the case, then you must remove every single pci card (not easy in a fully loaded Pro-tools system) and the processor daughterboard.
Then you have to unplug all the cables to the logic board (motherboard to the rest of us)and remove the fiddly little plastic assembly that holds the leds and power button (i think you need apple authorised fingers to do it properly).
Then you use a philips head screwdriver to unscrew the logicboard, and slimpy slide it out (harder than it sounds, (lots a little plastic clippy things))
Then you pop in the ram, and do it all backwards to re-assemble.
Remove the motherboard to upgrade the ram. Someone was thinking.......

Howto destroy a MB (1)

ZuG (13394) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928161)

The best thing I probably ever did was trying to force RAM into a simm slot by pushing it in vertically (don't ask me what i was thinking). Not only did I break the cheap plastic the holds the ram it, but I shorted out my motherboard as well.

He makes it sound so easy (1)

JamesHenstridge (14875) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928164)

With all the computers I have put together, I have never been able to break the computer while the case was off. Maybe I didn't use enough force.
In climates like here in Perth, leaving a fan disconnected (or if it stops) will do a lot more damage.

Over the years, I have destroyed two network cards -- one through overheating (the computer was in a room with bad ventilation and it was 40 degrees C outside. There was smoke comming out through the fan) and two by lightning, a motherboard (it was a long time ago, but I know a capacitor exploded), and a few other components.

Smoke? (1)

AmirS (15116) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928165)

Heh, me too, lots of white smoke being expelled by the fan. Jeez, the speed at which I hit the power-off button...

There was a good reason though -- I was experimenting with making my own joystick with two potentiometers and a couple of microswitches. I had a load of wires plugged directly in to the little holes in the female joystick port on the SB card in my PC.

Made a little adjustment, plugged of the wires back into the wrong hole, and cay you say "short circuit" :) -- well it was a long time ago when i was young

ribbon cables (1)

Nater (15229) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928167)

Very recently (this last week I believe) I had a ribbon cabling problem that just wouldn't go away. I took a closer look at the cable and drive, and it turns out the ribbon was keyed the wrong way. I had to gouge out part of the socket to plug in the miskeyed ribbon...

...I haven't had to match up the red wire with pin 1 in years!

Simplest and best way to destroy a computer (1)

cale (18062) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928168)

By far the simpilest and easiesy way to destroy a perfectly working piece of computing power doesn't even involve opening the case. All you have to do is install M$ Windows 98 :)

I have found that the best way to make any perfectly good computer unusable and worthless :)

surprised the article didn't mention that

Why would you want to destroy your computer? (1)

Martian Moon Landing (18084) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928169)

Back when I did hardware, my favourite job was kicking in the CRT before scrapping monitors, I LOVED that pop.

RAM (1)

Martian Moon Landing (18084) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928170)

In my last job, I was doing a RAM upgrade on an pre-war 486 (Gulf War, obviously), the box had 1Mb, in 4 256K SIMMS, I removed the old SIMMS, and the clips, which more attached more on hope than anything else, broke.

I plugged the new SIMMS, sat them up, and repeatedly rebooted the PC until it found all its RAM.

I then put the computer on a little pedestal between two desks and jammed the desks against it so that it didn't move.

If the computer stayed where it was it would be fine, if the moved?

Don't tell the users, that the thing

dead? (1)

MikeTurk (18201) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928171)

The site seems to have been /.'ed. Unfortunate [netcraft.com] . There is a mirror here [rr.com] .

Mike
--

dead? (1)

MikeTurk (18201) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928172)

or not. It's acting OK now. Now I need to figure out why I couldn't get through earlier...maybe it was the idiots @ RoadRunner again...

Mike
--

Tooless cases and torx screws... (1)

Bald Wookie (18771) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928174)

I cant help but comment on the irony of not needing a screwdriver to open the case, and not being able to do anything inside with one. Every Compaq I've opened has had some sort of screwy backplane setup, chinese puzzle box drive bays, and their own crazy form factor. If you want do destroy a computer, destroy a Compaq. But at least do it right, chainsaws, sledgehammers, and flamethrowers are the minimum recommended tools. I dont want to have pieces to put back together.

Power Supplies (1)

Hamshrew (20248) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928175)

Since my last major upgrade in September, I've fried my motherboard twice(once by mucking around with KBPO, once by moving it 4 feet to the left... never did figure out what happened there), and I managed to catch my power supply on fire by overloading it(HINT: a 235Watt can't push 240 Watts). And that's just MY computer. You don't want to know what my sister's done to hers!

Thats funny (1)

mjg (21046) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928176)

In reply to your statement about screws, I've had a couple of Commodore Amigas... One of them had not flat-head screws, but very soft aluminium posidrive screws, which I proceeded to completely strip when using a much larger phillips screwdriver. Eventually they got so bad I had to cut slots in them with a knife and undo them using those.

And that certainly wasn't the worst thing I did to that computer... soldering wires directly onto an edge-connector, cutting tracks on the motherboard.. it lasting a surprisingly long time considering. :-)

The other Amiga, fortunately, had standard phillips screws.

destroying your computer (1)

MindStalker (22827) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928177)

Accually, inladen in the humor of it all the article accually is a very good do's and don't for the person who is looking into doing an upgrade themselves. Very good suggestions, like being careful shorting out the bottom of your hardrive, while its sitting on your chasis, is usually something a person learns the hard way. Or are you accually not wanting people to read this so you can keep your job -grin- heeh jk

Power Connection to Motherboard (1)

theCoder (23772) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928178)

This kind of struck home (among other things :)

When connecting an older style, "AT" power supply to a motherboard, the two-part power connector offers a marvellous opportunity for destruction. Make sure at all costs to avoid the plug configuration shown below.
This configuration, with the black wires towards the centre, will cause the computer to work perfectly. Reversing the two plugs so that the red wires are towards the centre will, gratifyingly, destroy the motherboard.


If only I had know that when I was putting together my new Linux box :) Fortunately, there was no damage, the computer just wouldn't turn on. All I can say is that someone wasn't thinking when they made it so you can switch the two conectors...

My favorite... (1)

Red XIII (24385) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928179)

was my flatmate... He wasn't doing anything unusual - in the middle of a quake2 DM. Suddenly the picture shrunk to a dot, then expanded back. Then it did it again. Then it shrunk, more slowly this time, to a dot, and blinked out. We were looking at each other, slightly confused, when it made a loud-ish bang, and a big puff of smoke billowed out of the back.

Oddly enough, it didn't do much, after that...

-r13

Static is your friend... (1)

erb (24536) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928180)

This has nothing to do with static.

It seems that on many (most?) PC motherboards, one side of the speaker connector is constantly at +5V relative to the chassis, not 0 as you might expect. I once managed to destroy a speaker by mis-connecting it across the +5 side of the speaker header and one of the ground pins for one of the LEDs, and leaving it that way for a while before realizing there wasn't any sound.

Destroying stuff is fun! (1)

Ricky Ratboy (27411) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928181)

And have you noticed that when they decide to destroy a computer they are almost guaranteed to destroy the monitor first, or even only....isn't that like killing the messenger?

Monitors have rights, too.

Apple logo (1)

bafful (27467) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928182)

There's an Apple logo on the left side of that page. Any conclusions to be drawn from this?

Smoke.. Fire.. Pop.. (1)

larsl (30423) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928183)

I managed to split a processor in half messing with a compaq 486 lacking proper indication of chip corner alignment. Sloppiness is okay when the subject is a dumpster-dive-recovery.

Why would you want to destroy your computer? (1)

N3MCB (30591) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928184)

Some people are required to destroy their computers - at my place of employment we spend a lot of time developing appropriate methods. I actually enjoy the rare occasion when I get the pleasure of destroying some equipment (usualy security has all the fun).

Static is your friend... (1)

a.out (31606) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928185)

For some reason (??) the black wire on my pc speaker decided to short out one day. Fire + Computer == BAD. Lot's of smoke, really bad smell, mental breakdown. It's a horible experience knowing that your baby is on fire.

"more human than human, that's our moto" -BladeRunner

Simplest and best way to destroy a computer.... (1)

rippy (31757) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928186)

Accually, it makes your wallet more neat and tidy, with none of that green paper left in there to mess it up.

Destroying stuff is fun! (1)

PovRayMan (31900) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928187)

Hey hey, I'm all for destroying stuff. However, at any point in a movie or tv show, when I see a character destroy a computer I immediatly become heart broken. Computers have feelings too you know. I think I should start a A.D.C.H.(U.I.H.L.I.)P.F.A. club.

(That's Anti Destroying Computers (Unless It Has Linux Installed) Prevention For America.)

Yep, Just another waste of time organization that has a bunch of single-minded people with little to no thought in their head besides selfish ideas.

Just another weird rant by a weird guy.

---
Jon Berube
PovRayMan
---

Destroying stuff is fun! (1)

PovRayMan (31900) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928188)

I have no problem with Linux, and I know for a fact it IS better than any microsoft OS. I meant was that destroying computers can be fun, but NOT fun if it had Linux on it. Guess I should have been more explicit the first time, eh?

---
Jon Berube
PovRayMan
---

My turn to chime in... (1)

nosaj (31960) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928189)


The worst I've done is fried an LED display, trying to screw it back into place while the computer was on, after adjusting it to show some strange Mhz amount.

But I didn't learn my lesson quickly enough, as later that very same day, I was screwing something back into the case, again with the computer on (how else?). The screw jumped out from under the screwdriver, and landed on top of the modem... one coruscating electrical bolt later, my computer had rebooted. Fortunately, nothing got fried. Needless to say, I've been very careful since. :-)

Thats funny (1)

Tekhir (32379) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928190)

A few of the things are true but man I almost fell out of my chair reading that article.

First of all the guy mentions all these weird screws. Personally, I've opended up a whole bunch of computer cases (Apple, Commodore, Gateway, Sony, Packard Bell, Compaq, and a few others) and all of the screws are flat head.

Second, on an old gateway 486 my roommate put the power supply cables in wrong and turned it on. Nothing happen. He simply switch the cables and it worked fine. Maybe it was a good motherboard.

destroying your computer (1)

PhoneMonkey (32729) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928192)

I do tech support as well and I can say two things:

1) User's don't need the help, they know all this already

2) If the users had this, they wouldn't read it anyway

destroying your computer (1)

area51 (33155) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928194)

My problem is...I know how to fix computers but MS machines seem to freeze in fear when they see me...

destroying your computer (1)

area51 (33155) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928195)

Maybe I am just putting Linux on too many of those computers "Designed for Windows 95"

One Liquid they forgot to mention... (1)

Kastagir (33415) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928196)

Crystal Light. That stuff is lethal!

Right Nate? :)

Kas

--

How to destroy a Sparc (1)

redemption (33688) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928198)

Well I had an old pizza box sparc,
and it only had a Com Terminal as there was no video card.

One day a guy I know gave me one he had lying around cool, me thinks. I put it in, put a monitor on it and fired up the machine.

Of course, nothing worked. I eventually got so frustrated that I stabbed it with a screw driver.
BANG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fried the card, but the sparc was ok.
phew!!!!!!!

Found out later that the reason the "spare" monitor was lying around, was cos it was broken too.

Another way to destroy your computer: (1)

insomniac (33758) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928199)

Sticking an AGP card in your PCI slot

Why would you want to destroy your computer? (1)

EricHeinz (34163) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928200)

What kind of idiot would write an atricle like that?

incomplete article (1)

Energy Flow (34311) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928202)

Geez, I tell you, this article doesn't begin to
tell some of the important do's and donts to keep an intact computer. They don't even metion the hazard of urionation, and defication directly on the power suppy, or processor. Don't forget hitting your machine repetedly with large hard objects, and then proceeding spray arisal air freshioners all over glowing oblects when you start to smell burning silicon... I tell you, there are some things that really should be added...

Craters (1)

Halster (34667) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928203)


A friend of mine showed me the most brilliant thing I have ever seen!

And old 486 motherboard had shorted out somewhere and burnt a gaping hole through the board itself. The funny thing is, that it'd only damaged half of the RAM in the machine, two SIMM's worked fine and the other two were screwed.... go figure!!!..


Plugging the motherboard cables the wrong way. (1)

Blackwulf (34848) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928204)

I have had a friend who decided that plugging in her new power supply would be much easier than waiting for the resident geek to do it for her later that evening. She told me that it was difficult to plug it into the motherboard, but she finally got them in, but sparks flew when she plugged in her computer to the wall. I looked and the reds were inward.

This wound up not only destroying the motherboard and power supply, but also destroying all of the devices she had in there (HD controller, video card, sound card, etc - it was an old 486).

Then, of course, she yelled at me for breaking her computer. Denial is always the first step...

destroying your computer (1)

Mazurbul (35820) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928206)

As a tech support guy who gets paid by the hour instead of by the job, I implore the general public to ignore this heretical article as it cuts into my valuable quake playing time.

Please please, if you don't know what your doing, don't open up your computer, or even look at it wrong. (Don't understimate the look, I, as a good techie, only have to open the case to fix computers, they're scared of me) looks are powerful.

ribbon cables (1)

Kento (36001) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928207)

Keyed ribbon cables!? What else have I been missing!?

Destroying stuff is fun! (1)

Iamsleepy (37588) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928208)

Hey whats your problem with linux?! Linux can beat windows 98 (or any other microsoft product) any day! If you think windows is better than linux than you got problems! Even if it has windows on it you should not hurt the computer! it is like killing some one bacasue they cew a specific type of gum. Poor computers! P.A.C.K (people against computer killers) Iamsleepy

Another tale of the clueless user.... (1)

shatterblade (38097) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928209)

I have yet to see it, but I've heard a story about a user who brought their computer in complaining that the built in cup holder doesn't work anymore. It took the tech a second to figure out what the person was talking about, but you can imagine his the expression on his face when he did.

:)

Steven

"Television is the retina of the mind's eye."
-From "Minds Eye", on the Tempest 2K soundtrack.


One Liquid they forgot to mention... (1)

leb (106240) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928210)

Crystal light? I found a much better way to destroy your computer is to turn it on end and spoon in oatmeal and honey. Once you think you can't get any more in, violently jab the spoon into your floppy drive. . .

Josh

hmm... (1)

topdogg (200755) | more than 15 years ago | (#1928211)

All i can say, Grin.

heh
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