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Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards

michael posted more than 9 years ago | from the real-soon-now dept.

Businesses 406

l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."

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Linux HOWTO (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289739)

Figging
-------

A peeled ginger root, shaped like a slender butt plug, inserted into the anus without lubrication of any kind. The ginger juices cause pain and extreme horniness. The person belonging to said anus become twitchy, jumpy and very lively. The effect lasts for about 20 minutes or more depending on the freshness and strength of the root. The root can also be applied directly to the clitoris or inserted into the urethra. Just be sure the sliver can be retrieved. Also, after peeling the ginger, wash your hands afterward because ginger juice in the eye just plain hurts like a mother fucker and is not fun or horny inducing in any way!

My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289749)

Seriously. Does anybody actually use the beta/alpha version of it for anything? RMS has been promising it for such a long time.. especially after Linux took the GNU team by surprise.

Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289785)

I'll show you vaperware [pogmania.com] (fapperware?).

Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289838)

The defining characteristic of vaporware is that it does not exist. If something exists but is not widely used, or is not at all used, or is used but is flawed, then it is not vaporware.

GNU Hurd is clearly not vaporware, as you can go and get a copy if you should so desire. The intelligent content of your post, by contrast, would be a good example of vaporware.

Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290072)

I have a leaked copy of the source code to Duke Nuke 'em Forever. It doesn't do anything near to what it was supposed to do. It is in no way vapor! Anyhow, I'll share it here for all to see:

/* forever.c- FIXME: This file is not completed yet */
#include <stdio.h>

int main ()
{
/* Comment out below line before release -EDW */
printf ("Duke Nuke 'em Forever v0.001 Alpha Release\n");

/* Uncomment out below line when game is written */
/* main_loop (); */

return 0;
}

Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289863)

You knew something was amiss with GNU/Hurd when one of their major milestones was a write-only filesystem.

Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (1)

m50d (797211) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289917)

Yes. A friend had a fileserver running on it. More importantly, it is definitely non-vapor, in that the code is there and does work.

Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (4, Informative)

The_Dougster (308194) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289992)

I have it installed on my system also, although I don't recall booting it anytime recently. It does boot though. It has X, you can compile programs, I think it runs Emacs, it definately runs vi, there might even be a couple games ported to it now. It's a turtle, but definately not vaporware.

Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290037)

Well, I used the recently announced new Debian/Hurd CDs [slashdot.org].

Competition is a good thing. Once the long-predicted death of BSD, it'll be nice that Hurd's around :)

HP (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289750)

For their lack of helping their customer with all their discontinued technologies (HPUX, PA-RISC, Alpha, Itanium workstations, Bluestone software)... I guess not really vaporware, since HP totally canceled them; but customers who originally bought stuff from them didn't really expect to be left out in the cold like that.

Itanium workstations in general (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289773)

Intel should qualify in their own right.

Where? (4, Funny)

AtariAmarok (451306) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289756)

Where's my Atari 1450 XLD? Still waiting....

Re:Where? (4, Interesting)

crow (16139) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289795)

Oh, boy, did I ever want one of those.

If you look very closely at some of the photos in Creative Computing or Compute! you'll see that the alleged 1450XLD had a nameplate on it calling it a 1250XLD. My guess is that there was another earlier project that was canceled, and since they didn't have any of the new ones ready, they used photos of the old one.

Apparently there were a few 1400XLs that got out, but there's as rare as an 815.

Re:Where? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289844)

Where's my Atari 1450 XLD? Still waiting....


It's right next to my 65816 based Atari 800, which is directly to the left of my Falcon 040.

Re:Where? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290096)

It's behind all the stacked up copies of AmigaOS 4.0

I remember when these awards came out last year, I bitched about AmigaOS 4.0 not being out. Must have been fifty Amiga zealots came out and jumped on my comments because "developers have their copies now!" "a preview version will be out soon!" "Amigaones have been out for years now!"

Yeah, well, hardware without an OS isn't much use, especially when the only alternative OS to put on it is Linux, and that's been about the only option for the last 2 and a half years use of an Amigaone. Could have bought a better PC, earlier, and still been running Linux on it just the same.

Developers having their copies is meaningless. Apple's developers have Tiger, and that's not getting machines to consumers.

Now Amigaones come with a preview AmigaOS 4.0 that's still unfinished, almost usable, but also still buggy & limited.

I predict we still won't see a new AmigaOS 4.0 final release within the NEXT 12 months either. Been saying that for 4 years now.

I guess Amigas really were ahead of their time. Longhorn is only just now copying their eternal beta periods!

Damn right .. Still dont know what a TIVO does (1)

sundru (709023) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289758)

Vaporware ..damn rt i still dont know what a TIVO does thats so different from any other service. :-)

Sarge (4, Funny)

gihan_ripper (785510) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289775)

Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.

(But I still want it now!)

Re:Sarge (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290108)

You can have it now. It's just not Officially Released yet.

Slashdot Deserves One Too (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289777)

Horrid HTML, ugly color schemes, terribly biased, opaque, convoluted moderation system.

Taco did say they were working on wholesale changes, right? He's been musing about fixes and changes for years, yet this place looks EXACTLY the same as always.

At least get your damn pages complaint!

You troll you. (2, Interesting)

AtariAmarok (451306) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289799)

Seriously, the Slashdot visual design ranks among the best, except for that category that immitates the "Aqua" look of white letters on a very pale background (cannot be read). If you want very bad, go to aintitcoolnews.com To read that site, you need to copy and paste text into a text editor.

Re:You troll you. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290052)

Funny, I consider Slashdot to be the Aintitcoolnews of the tech world, both in content and in antiquated visual design.

"Ranks among the best?" Are you kidding?

Re:You troll you. (1)

Reignking (832642) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290100)

Absolutely -- I was looking for something on Batman Begins, and IMDB didn't help much. So, I checked out aintitobnoxious yesterday, for about 1 minute. I couldn't wade through all of the crap...

Say what you will about /. design... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289806)

But at least it's not as bad as Aintitcoolnews.

That site is arguably second only to IMDB when it comes to movie information, and it STILL looks like a geocities (are they even around anymore?) site.

Re:Say what you will about /. design... (2, Funny)

Thud457 (234763) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289957)

Re: Aintitcool

Talk about vaporware! Interestingly enough, the site has news of a new Buckaroo Banzai book coming out. Where's "Buckaroo Banzai vs The World Crime League"?!!! That's got DNF beat by an order of magnitude!

Re:Slashdot Deserves One Too (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289870)

You're right. We should all switch over and start using your news feeder. What's the URL for it?

If you don't like it here, feel free to leave.

Re:Slashdot Deserves One Too (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289895)

If you don't like it here, feel free to leave.

... says the Anonymous Coward. How noble: defending Slashdot, but not if it means revealing yourself.

Re:Slashdot Deserves One Too (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289970)

by Anonymous Coward on Friday January 07, @13:58 (#11289895)
[...]
... says the Anonymous Coward. How noble: defending Slashdot, but not if it means revealing yourself.


Irony is delicious.

Re:Slashdot Deserves One Too (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289996)

Maybe I don't bother to register for an account. Why should I? Either way, my point remains the same. I read Slashdot and I enjoy it. Those who don't enjoy it are welcome to go somewhere else. Nobody's forcing them to stay.

Re:Slashdot Deserves One Too (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290093)

You never had a point. People can freely criticize all they want, even if they--gasp--don't have their own newsfeeder. It's called public opinion, and if you don't like reading it, take your own advice and skip over their comments. Nobody's forcing you to read them. Next.

Absolutely! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290069)

Because you can't criticize anything if you don't have your own custom alternative! Opinions and user reaction just don't matter.

Way to make a good product, there.

Re:Absolutely! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290110)

Criticizing the design would be better done in a kind of "suggestion box" or, perhaps, by emailing the designers. The people who complain about it in the forums seem to be under the delusion that the Slashdot designers/maintainers meticulously read every comment of every article.

He wasn't complaining to the designers, he was complaining to the rest of us. We have no means to fix it, all we can do is find a better alternative. He didn't suggest one.

Article Text (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289784)

Save on pagination, view the printable version: http://www.wired.com/news/print/0,1294,66195,00.ht ml

Or...

--------------------

Vaporware Phantom Haunts Us All
By Leander Kahney

Story location: http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,66195,00. html

02:00 AM Jan. 07, 2005 PT

Year after year after year, tech companies promise spectacular products that twinkle and shine in demos and press releases, but slowly begin to fade and dim as the promised release dates near.

Welcome to the shadowy, spectral world of vaporware, a product purgatory where goods are promised, but not delivered.

Now in its eighth year, Wired News' annual Vaporware Awards celebrate all the wonderful gewgaws of 2004 that sadly never saw the light of day. And 2004 was a very good year for vaporware. A vintage year, indeed.

Not only were there plenty of vaporous products floating about -- several companies are fast heading for the hallowed halls of vaporware fame.

Companies like Valve, TiVo and 3D Realms Entertainment have been nominated year after year, sometimes for the same elusive product, sometimes for different wares. But one thing doesn't change: These tardy firms continue to over-promise and under-deliver.

Take 3D Realms, the (so-called) publisher of the long-awaited Duke Nukem Forever. After years of waiting, in 2003 we gave the company our Lifetime Achievement Award just to get it off the list.

Nonetheless, readers this year still sent in scads of votes for the AWOL product, so many it might have been the winner. Still, it's worth quoting some amusing barbs.

Readers dubbed the game Duke Nukem (Taking) Forever, Duke Nukem Neverever, Duke Nukem Whenever and Duke Nukem If Ever.

"NASA has planned, designed, developed and successfully landed a rover on Mars in the time this game has been in development," wrote reader Ray O'Neill. "So much for deadlines."

Adam Smith noted the game is a joke even to its own creators, who issued a spoof ship notice in December. "Obviously taunting the fans has become a great source of fun for the boys down at 3D Realms!" he said.

Sean Christmann said, "Duke Nukem is a legend now. It's gotten to the point where even if they do release the game, people might reject it simply to keep the vaporware lore alive."

We sent 3D Realms a note congratulating the firm for qualifying yet again for a Vaporware title, and invited it to submit a short victory speech. We haven't heard back. (We haven't heard from any of the other winners, either).

And so, based on the votes of Wired News' readers, here -- in reverse order -- are the bottom 10 vaporware products of 2004:

10. Alienware's Video Array

Alienware's Video Array is a high-end bit of hardware and software that allows video cards to run in parallel, dramatically boosting performance.

Or so the company says. Alienware promised the technology in Q4 2004. Needless to say, it's still off-planet.

Reader Adam Black said, "So, Alienware bashes Nvidia's SLI (a competing technology), then jumps on the bandwagon, and now their 'amazing' technology is nowhere to be found? I could have sworn Q4 2004 doesn't mean 2005!"

Sean Pelletier said, "They showcased at E3 this year that was supposed to crush Nvidia's SLI.... What a joke! It never showed up because it never worked!"

Trevor Fuller said simply: "Completely vapor."

9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz

Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8.

"I guess scaling to 10 GHz was BS from the spinmeisters after all," noted reader Mikko Ruskola. "Well, it sounded too good to be true anyway."

"Intel flopped on this one, and now in this category -- just like any other -- Intel is following AMD's lead," said Chad Meirose. "It is about time that AMD gets the public credit that they deserve, and Intel (who also makes great products) is shown for what they really are, a PR behemoth."

8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz

Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.

In response, Justin Evers submitted a "Reading from the Book of Apple, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20":

"Then did St. Steve raise on high the Holy G5 of Cupertino, saying, 'Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine Dell enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the renderings of lambs and toads and tree sloths and fruit bats and orangutans and lickable icons.... Now did the Lord say, 'Thou in 12 months, thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the GHz and the number of the GHz shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two-point-five, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the GHz, be reached, then thine will be great and powerful in my sight, however if thou shall have more than one button on thou mouse, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff thine's life.'"

7. Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms

Valve wormed its way off this year's dishonor roll by finally shipping the long-awaited Half-Life 2. But worry not, the company's still on the list with Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms, a team-based actioner that's been missing in action since '99.

"It seems that when they called this game the 'warfare of the next century,' they meant it would be coming to store shelves next century," said reader Christopher Meacham.

That doesn't deter retailers. James Morgan noted EBGames is selling the game with an "appropriately sliding release date," despite the possibility the date may keep sliding.

A reader called Mr. Cheech said the last official news about the title was posted to Valve's website Jan. 23, 2001.

"Soon we're going to have to send in archeologists and historians to see what they can recover from the ancient lost language used on their website," he said.

6. Gran Turismo 4

Gran Turismo 4, the latest installment in Sony's wildly popular racing series, was supposed to allow PlayStation 2 racers to chase each other over the internet.

"Rabid fan" Seth Daam noted the game was originally promised in mid-2002. Then it was postponed to late 2003. Then early 2004. Then simply 2004. Now it's "the January-to-March window" of 2005.

"This title has been in development forever now, and a simple Google search reveals its impressive (and maddening) release history, dangled in front of this fan's greedy fingers like a carrot on a string," Daam said.

"Twelve more months of delay and they could release it for the PS3," said Peter Waldrab.

Adding insult to injury, Sony said in November that the game's online component would be dropped.

"I am tired of waiting," said Donnie Morrow.

5. ATI's Radeon X800 series of video cards

ATI Technologies' high-end X800 series of video cards shipped at the end of the year, according to a December press release. Or did it? No one seems able to get hold of them, especially the X800 XT Platinum Edition, unofficially renamed the "Phantom Edition."

"(ATI) says they launched, but no one except reviewers can seem to get a hold of them," said Reverend Love. "WTF? Vaporware."

In addition, the X700 XT also seemed hard to get hold of, unless you were reviewing it for a gaming magazine.

"If you know anyone who believes that ATI's Radeon X700 XT cards actually exist, tell me about them. I have some real estate on the moon that they may want to buy," said Pablo Barros.

4. TiVoToGo

TiVo scored a Vaporware gong in 2003 for the HDTV version of its digital TV recorder, and just squeaked in this year with TiVoToGo, which allows recorded shows to be loaded onto laptops.

TiVo announced the service at CES in January 2004, and released it Jan. 3, 2005. That was cutting it very close, TiVo! And the product still doesn't support the Mac or DVD burning!

Reader Crystal Hurst said, "I've been waiting for TiVo's stinking TiVoToGo feature all year!... I love my TiVo, but this sort of string-'em-along attitude of TiVo's is really getting to me! I want my TiVoToGo and I want it now."

Miles Langmacher said, "Maybe we should start referring to TiVo as 'ToDo.'"

3. Microsoft's Longhorn

Microsoft's successor to Windows XP was originally promised to ship in 2004, though the company subsequently pushed the launch date to 3015 or something. Obviously, Microsoft won't be able to finish the code until it's had a peek at Apple's forthcoming Tiger.

Bill Restemeyer suggested it be renamed "Longwait."

The company also cut a core feature, a new "revolutionary" file system called WinFS.

Steve Story said, "WinFS has been vaporware for over a decade, and recently a delay of many more years was announced. (2008 has been bandied about.) Somewhere, Microsoft programmers are spending their entire careers on a single piece of vaporware."

Steven "Harley" Davidson said, "If Microsoft keeps on pushing back the dates for Longhorn and removing features from it, they might as well just promise to bundle Duke Nukem Forever with the OS."

2. CherryOS

In October, a hitherto-unknown Hawaiian company, Maui X-Stream, rocked the tech world with news of CherryOS, a Mac emulator for Windows PCs that supposedly ran wicked fast and cost only $50. The software was offered as a download, but the stampeding hordes of closet Apple lovers at Slashdot crashed the servers before anyone could get it.

Then the company quickly withdrew the software, a move that was followed by allegations of fraud and plagiarism. Maui X-Stream promised CherryOS would be reborn Nov. 25, and when that failed to materialize, pushed the date to Q1 2005.

Wired News' readers weren't very kind about this one. Most felt -- perhaps uncharitably -- that CherryOS is a nonexistent product or, at best, a copy of the open-source Mac emulator, PearPC.

"I will eat my left toe if this software gets released," said Wayne Bloss.

"CherryOS -- if not an outright scam -- is the biggest steaming pile of vaporware in my lifetime," said Curt Meinhold.

Marty Gittins said: "CherryOS -- this stinks all the way to vaporware hell."

"We will probably see a cure for death before we see a true platform emulator," said Tony Lunde. "It's still a pretty interesting idea, though."

1. Phantom Game Console

Infinium Labs' elusive games-on-demand console, the appropriately named Phantom, is climbing the Vaporware charts. Last year's No. 3 entry, the Phantom is this year's most vaporous product. Way to go, Infinium!

Matthew Szymczyk said, "By the time this thing ever comes out, we'll have solved the chicken-and-the-egg question, colonized galaxies, cured disease and famine and, most importantly -- moved on."

Reader Derek Chatwood said, "You quoted me last year for the awards; you could go with the same quote this year: 'Not a more aptly named product in the world. The Phantom is a scam. It will never be anything more than maybe a couple of old Dells shoved inside repainted Xbox cases to fool some gullible press or second-round investors.'"

Chatwood noted that even the FAQ on Infinium's website is "Coming Soon!"

Bob Marietta said, "Infinium Labs' Phantom is the quintessential textbook definition of vaporware. This undelivered product has been lingering around for years now.... The company has been surrounded by a cloud of lawsuits, website revamps and even a stock scandal. A website with a large cult following has even sprung up to follow the story."

Tim Harwood said, "The only thing they seem to produce is lawsuits."

"Any used-car salesman can slap together a shonky PC and market it as 'the world's greatest and most powerful video game console,'" said Matthew Green, "but only Timothy Roberts and his band of henchmen were able to drum up all the hype, lies and lawsuits that have kept hundreds of people like me entertained throughout year."

End of story

Apple and IBM should share credit (3, Insightful)

Logic Bomb (122875) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289802)

I think it's fair for Apple to be on the list with the 3 Ghz claim, though they should have shared the honor with IBM. After all, Apple was just going off whatever they were told by IBM's R&D folks.

Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (1)

FatherOfONe (515801) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289985)

Are you sure that someone at IBM told Apple that?

They probably said something like "We could scale this chip up to 3GH by the end of the year if needed." Which ment something like "If you build a new fab, and invested BILLIONS of dollars we could probably get this thing up to 3Ghz."

At least we have a G5 laptop though :-)

Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (1)

catalupus (695072) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290033)

Dunno about anywehere else, but at my place of employment, we want to see manufacturable silicon before we even design 3rd party products into our designs, let alone announce to the public.

Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290035)

If it was the first--or the only--time Apple had been "overly optimistic" about themselves and their products, I would cut them some slack.

But it's a bi-annual thing. Apple misses ALL their ship dates; for example, "G5's shipping now" = 4-6 week wait; "new iMacs in 3 months" = iMacs in 6; "iTunes Canada by November" = iTunes Canada in December.

You have to remember that Steve Jobs is a marketer/salesman first and foremost. He's selling people on him and his products.

Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (1)

johnpaul191 (240105) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290097)


the iTunes issues are purely a legal snag. nobody can tell what will happen when a bunch of lawyers go at it....... well we can guess time delays will happen. the technical aspect of opening iTMS in another country/region is minimal. if Apple sells online there, they could set up the store in no time.

it seems most of Apple's delays are component shortages. they try to keep things under wraps so they do not fall prey to other glitches. i guess in the past they also would try to time releases for MacWorlds or other big events instead of calling for a media event just to release something new.

Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (1)

mbbac (568880) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290113)

Steve was so unlucky on that one. The one product he pre-announces turns out to be vaporware.

My favorite quote: (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289803)

Somewhere, Microsoft programmers are spending their entire careers on a single piece of vaporware

That must be depressing...

Re:My favorite quote: (3, Funny)

MPHellwig (847067) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289864)

Mine was near there: Steven "Harley" Davidson said, "If Microsoft keeps on pushing back the dates for Longhorn and removing features from it, they might as well just promise to bundle Duke Nukem Forever with the OS."

Re:My favorite quote: (4, Funny)

Omega (1602) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290103)

My favorite is:
Microsoft's successor to Windows XP was originally promised to ship in 2004, though the company subsequently pushed the launch date to 3015 or something. Obviously, Microsoft won't be able to finish the code until it's had a peek at Apple's forthcoming Tiger.
Ahh, saying what we're all thinking... :)

What is the min delay for vaporware? (4, Interesting)

shawn(at)fsu (447153) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289821)

#10 lists the product from Alienware that was supposed to be delivered in Q4 2004 (If I read it right). My question is this: How long must something be delayed to be considered vaporware? Obviously products like Duke Nukem and the Phantom qualify but what is the minimum amount of time needed?

Even if I was mistaken on #10 I still would like to hear what you all think.

Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289918)

I think it's a quality issue, as well as a time issue. Per the description, it's not so much that Alienware missed an Q4'04 deliverable date, but they're not close. i.e. they've pulled out of commits to demo at tradeshows and such. It's not just late--it's STILL nowhere close to done.

Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (1)

Ansonmont (170786) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289979)

I would say a one quarter delay doesn't really make it vaporware, just a bit late. We'll see if it transitions to true vapor status though.
-A

Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (2, Insightful)

ShamusYoung (528944) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290036)

As I've always understood it, "Vaporware" refers to products that do not exist, and are thus all "vapor" and hype. Once you show a demo or have a working model that does what you claimed it would do from the outset, it ought not be called Vaporware, even if it has been delayed.

DNF is a great example, since after a decade we havn't even seen a working demo, a gameplay video, or even any (recent) screenshots. I think labeling products as "vaporware" when they are just late is a bit unfair. Many products miss ship dates and experience delays, but it takes a special kind of bastard to start a marketing campaign before they've even written a line of code or built a prototype.

Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (1)

aztektum (170569) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290111)

Other than Longhorn and Valve's new TF game, all these products at some point were supposedly going to be on shelves in 2004. I wouldn't say this list is a "Most Vaporous of All-Time" thing. Just the biggest entries promised in 2004 that never materialized.

enlightenment dr 17 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289825)

was n't that suppose to be out last year?

Yes, I am Karma whoring. (5, Informative)

Ssbe (614884) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289831)

10. Alienware's Video Array
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
7. Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms
6. Gran Turismo 4
5. ATI's Radeon X800 series of video cards
4. TiVoToGo
3. Microsoft's Longhorn
2. CherryOS
1. Phantom Game Console

Longhorn (3, Interesting)

mislinux (828556) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289899)

I went to the movie theater to watch the 2nd Matrix movie the day it came out (so that tells you about the time it was) and there was a guy running Longhorn on his laptop. Me and an ECE friend of mine went over to ask him about it. He was raving how great it was and blah blah blah. My friend asked him, "So what's different about it, beside the GUI?" And this guy was like, "Um...it is just neat, and you don't have it." Cause it was without the new file system (which won't be on longhorn anyway) and without a ton of stuff. But it did look pretty...pretty confusing. Stuff was everyone. The desktop looked like a dumping ground. Taskbar at the bottom. Some kind of toolbar on the side, similar to Mac's toolbar at the bottom, and then some other media toolbar. Just cluttered. And so we asked him to show us some stuff. There was nothing. So I was thinking about it. All it really didn't have was the newest Media Player and the new file system. Well now you can download the newest media player and they aren't adding the new file system, so I guess in 2006, they will release basically the same version that guy had back two years ago. LOL!!

Re:Yes, I am Karma whoring. (1)

Valafar (309028) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289999)

The only one that doesn't make sense is #5. I have an x800.. So unless I'm in an alternate universe, that's a bogus claim.

Re:Yes, I am Karma whoring. (1)

NinjaFarmer (833539) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290148)

What they are talking about is the ultra high end x800 XT Super Plus Plus and better cards that no one has ever seen except for the press release.

Bah! (4, Funny)

OECD (639690) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289836)

They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!

Re:Bah! (4, Funny)

gstoddart (321705) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289946)

They're not
really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!


No. Honestly. A friend works work them and he assures me they'll be handing out the awards real soon now. ;-)

This years winners are.. (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289847)

And this years price for the "Worst Article and Poor journalism" -award goes to... Wired!

Also special commendation on "How to build a website almost rivaling Geocities in how horrible it looks like" -award goes to Wired!

Kind of sad: Alienware?!? (4, Insightful)

revery (456516) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289848)

Apparently your product is now vaporware if it slips a quarter. I think by that definition every computer game I've ever played has at some point been vaporware...

--
Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.

Company Lifetime Achievement Award (2, Interesting)

gmuslera (3436) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289852)

This year they should give that award to Microsoft. 3DRealms are there just because Duke Nukem Forever, a single vaporware product, but Microsoft still making big merits since more than a decade ago (the WinFS in particular have a history that goes back to '94 and maybe earlier) and with most of the "big" announced features.

Also could be fit in the "vaporware" realm some of their claims, i.e. the "safe" feature is strongly attached to any of their products, be windows 95, internet explorer from the firsts versions, office, servers, etc).

Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award (3, Funny)

Timesprout (579035) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290024)

Actually using this logic Desktop Linux wins hands down. Every year its arrival is trumpeted yet we still wait.

Based on user submissions, eh? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289867)

WAAAA! Your promised me I could buy $piece_of_crap by Q4 2004. Its already January 7th of 2005! Oh, the humanity!
IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT! !IWANIT!!IW ANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!! /spoiled brat mode

who cares...

Re:Based on user submissions, eh? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290030)

Reminds me of P2P piracy defenders.

Phantom (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289869)

After the article mentioned that the Phantom FAQ is MIA, I looked at the features page and found:
Non-proprietary development platform (Windows XP® Embedded ) - Does not require developers and publishers to incur any additional development costs.

Alienware SLI Isn't Out? That's News to Me... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289896)

The Alienware SLI is out, and it's been out for quite some time! It works great, too. It's just a bit pricey. Wired, get your stories straight!

How 'bout one for the Censorware Project? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289900)

Domain-stealing whore Michael Sims fails once again to return the Censorware Project to its rightful owners! Good work, asspony!

I don't get why Intel and Apple are on the list (2, Insightful)

antifoidulus (807088) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289903)

for not meeting their projected processor speed targets. Granted, they were over-hyped but the real reason they did not meet the targets is because both Intel and IBM ran into a lot of unforseen roadblocks when they went to 90 nm technology. I would hardly call that "vaporware".
Unlike Duke Nukem Forever, they were both going into uncharted waters, and it's really no surprise that they didn't make it to their destination as fast as they had wanted to....

Re:I don't get why Intel and Apple are on the list (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290127)

I agree. Aiming for 4GHz and "only" hitting 3.8GHz is nothing to sneeze at.

What clock speeds to their competitors chips run at again?

They Forgot (1)

JamesP (688957) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289904)

I think that copy protection scheme that said the CD "contained no Vapourware" shoud have been awarded something.

Hey, at least they DIDN't have Vapourware.

x800? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289909)

Why are the ATI X800 series cards considered vaporware? IF they are....what the hell is running HL2 in the computer then.

TivoToGo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289913)

Of course the funny thing is, Tivo just announced TivoToGo's launch and I've got the updated server tool on my PC, ready and rarin' to go.

Of course, the nesc. software update still hasn't been pushed to my Tivo unit...

And I still have to buy a frellin third-party codec in order view the Tivo files on my comp... ...maybe I spoke too soon about it not being vapor.

Re:TivoToGo (1)

echocharlie (715022) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290077)

According to Tivo Newsletter 62 which I received yesterday:

TiVoToGo Has Arrived!
So you want to transfer your recorded programs to your PC so you can watch them anywhere, right? Done! As part of your regular paid TiVo service subscription, all TiVo Series2? boxes -- except those with DVD recorders -- will be automatically updated through a scheduled rollout process to include TiVoToGo?, a brand-new home media feature only available with TiVo service! Remember: you'll need to have your TiVo box connected [p0.com] to your home network for this feature to work.
  • In fact, some of you may have it already. You can find out if you've received the new software update here [p0.com].
  • If you haven't but are jonesin', add your name to the priority list [p0.com] so we know you're ready-and-waiting.
Learn more [p0.com] about the TiVoToGo feature.

Coming soon! Build your own media library by burning TiVoToGo transferred shows to DVD with the purchase of Sonic's MyDVD software. TiVo subscribers can try it free on or around 1/15/05. Sign up [p0.com] now to be notified when the free trial is available.

More Useful Links:
TivoToGo [tivo.com]
Tivo Newsletter subscription [tivo.com]

IFLB's stock price.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289931)

Infinium Labs stock has been all over the place, was almost at 1.50 after rumors it would be displayed at MS and NVidia booths, now way down the past two days -- so is it really vaporware?

Elite 4 (1)

The_Dougster (308194) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289950)

David Braben and Frontier Development Inc., have been dangling this tasty morsel before us poor space sim fans for some years now.

What is it about the unlucky version 4? Duke Nukem 4ever -- Elite 4(ever)? Maybe version 4 should be skipped entirely by software developers.

Four is unlucky... IN JAPAN! (1)

tepples (727027) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290074)

Maybe version 4 should be skipped entirely by software developers.

A Japanese word for "four" is shi, which sounds like the word for "death". Japanese fear of four [tripod.com] seems to parallel American fear of thirteen, where American casinos often do not offer any gambling on the unpopular thirteenth floor of a building.

My nomination (0, Offtopic)

bonch (38532) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289952)

The much-promised "new moderation system" we hear about every year in Taco's journals. ;)

Soundtrack issues (1)

DxM02r (780059) | more than 9 years ago | (#11289988)

I secretly think Duke Nuke 'Em has been waiting for the forthcoming Guns and Roses CD as it's soundtrack...I blame Axl...

WinFS (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11289997)

WinFS surely would have deserved a mentioning on it's own. I mean, how long has MS been promising something like it? Wasn't it even supposed to ship with Win2000?

Maybe an other livetime achievement award is necessary.

Radeon x800 Mac Edition... (1)

Trurl's Machine (651488) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290004)

...is to be showcased at MacWorld San Francisco next week, at ATI's own booth [macworldexpo.com] (#2217). Personally I'm more anxious to see it that all the alleged "headless eMacs" and "80G iPods". I'm not sure if you can call it vaporware, it was rather a product that missed its deadline for a couple of weeks (and since it was mid-December, availability was delayed to early January).

I resent this! (1)

elecngnr (843285) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290005)

For the CherryOS award, the Wired article stated:

In October, a hitherto-unknown Hawaiian company, Maui X-Stream, rocked the tech world with news of CherryOS, a Mac emulator for Windows PCs that supposedly ran wicked fast and cost only $50. The software was offered as a download, but the stampeding hordes of closet Apple lovers at Slashdot crashed the servers before anyone could get it.

I resent being called a closet Apple lover....I am in fact a flaming Apple lover.

Duke Nukem Forever? (1)

El_Smack (267329) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290021)


DN4 would be nice, but I'm still waiting for a *working* copy of BattleCruiser 3000 AD.
Working being the operative word here.

In other news.... (2, Funny)

mstefanus (705346) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290031)

Alienware CPU with Intel Pentium 4 4GHz, 2 ATI X800 video cards with Alienware Video Array enabled, running Microsoft Longhorn bundled with Duke Nukem Forever & Cherry OS (Capable of emulating Power PC G5 3GHz) will be available shortly* in computer stores near you...

*) Time is relative

P.S.: There are rumours that if you buy two, you will get the Phantom console for free.

Vaporware? (4, Insightful)

Titusdot Groan (468949) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290044)

Alienware slips by a quarter? Apple and Intel under deliver by a few hundred Mhz?

They were *really* stretching to get this list to 10 ... I guess things are pretty good in the world of vaporware given the bottom 3.

Alienware and 4MHz Pentium (2, Interesting)

91degrees (207121) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290049)

Okay, these are both a little late, but isn't it a little unfair to call them vaporware? I mean, we can expect to see them eventually (at least the 4MHz CPU), and a delay of about 3 months is nothing like the delay we've suffered waiting for the Phantom. They wouldn't have qualified for these awards if their release date was Q2, and they just came out. Surely an annual award should wait for at least most of a year for a delay.

Alienware.. (1)

Loco3KGT (141999) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290056)

Seems to me that giving a vaporware award to something due out in Q4 2004 is a bit harsh. "Shit happens".

It is official: Amiga is dead (1)

tmk (712144) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290068)

Kast year was AmigaOS 4 vapourware number 9. This year there is still no release of the new OS for Amiga, but it is not on the list anymore.

When Amiga can not even produce vapourware, the legend is gone.

AmigaOS 4 now has a 3rd public beta in the wild (1)

amigabill (146897) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290141)

Uhm, OS4 beta is available to the public now. So is an update. And so is a second update as of December. So while it's not a "final" release, the public beta is being used by people who have an AmigaOne motherboard. (PowerPC CPU, PCI, AGP, USB, PS.2 keyboard/mouse, etc)

So with normal people not in the private beta program using AmigaOS 4 now, it may not qualify for this list anymore? I'm not sure what the nitty gritty details of public beta vs final release are...

WMD ? (2, Funny)

Blarfy_Snarflepoop (541822) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290087)

They were promised - and no one's seen them!

Huh? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290112)

So Kerry was lying when he was bitching in the last week of the election about dangerous WMDs that were there but were taken?

Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! (4, Insightful)

Anita Coney (648748) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290109)

How long does it really take to make a 3d game when you're using someone elses engine?! First, it was supposed to use the Quake 2 engine. Then it switched over to the Unreal engine. It must have switched again because the Unreal engine is ancient by any standard.

My guess is that the owners of 3D Realms have enough money where they just don't give a rat's ass.

Does anyone here actually work for 3D Realms?! What's going on over there?!

Book of Apple, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20 (1)

inertia@yahoo.com (156602) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290125)

"Then did St. Steve raise on high the Holy G5 of Cupertino, saying, 'Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine Dell enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the renderings of lambs and toads and tree sloths and fruit bats and orangutans and lickable icons.... Now did the Lord say, 'Thou in 12 months, thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the GHz and the number of the GHz shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two-point-five, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the GHz, be reached, then thine will be great and powerful in my sight, however if thou shall have more than one button on thou mouse, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff thine's life.'"

Irony (5, Funny)

patonw (747304) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290129)

Would anyone find it ironic if Wired hyped their vaporware awards for an entire year and didn't come out with one that year?

Where is whereisphanom.com? (1)

Hrodvitnir (101283) | more than 9 years ago | (#11290140)

Did we just slashdot whereisphantom.com through Wired?

Slashborg: You will be assimilated into our everlasting quest to bring down small websites.

VALVE? Not! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11290147)

Did the article submitter even RTFA?! Valve was NOT a winner this year... obviously Half-Life 2 shipped in Q4 2004.

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