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Episode III Opening Crawl Released

michael posted more than 9 years ago | from the war! dept.

Star Wars Prequels 609

moggyf writes "The official Star Wars website has revealed the opening crawler text for Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, currently scheduled for a May 19th, 2005 release."

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

Okay, did anyone else.... (2, Informative)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504294)

... click on this article and get "Nothing to see here, move along..."?

Re:Okay, did anyone else.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504376)

a-yup.

No, but... (5, Funny)

paranode (671698) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504391)

It did say "This isn't the story you're looking for" at which point I had an uncontrollable urge to say "Move along, move along". That was weird.

Re:No, but... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504518)

A long time agao...
War was beginning.

Captain: What happen ?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal.
Captain: What !
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Captain: It's you !!
Cats: How are you gentlemen !!
Cats: All your base are belong to us.
Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say !!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Cats: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
Operator: Captain !!*
Captain: Take off every 'Zig'!!
Captain: You know what you doing.
Captain: Move 'Zig'.
Captain: For great justice.

Re:Okay, did anyone else.... (3, Funny)

Basehart (633304) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504512)

I wonder if with all the last minute stuff going on at Lucas Film right now, whether anyone would notice if they forgot to make the opening titles crawl up the screen and just stuck that gif up there by accident.

That would really put a dent in the look and feel of Star Wars III.

Worst Star Wars ever? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504524)

I'm pissing my pants with anticipation.... ... this just MAY be the worst Star Wars ever.

Re:Worst Star Wars ever? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504553)

I don't know, episodes 4-6 were preetty shitty.

/me hands over the nails (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504295)

....for the coffin.

Yoo hoo (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504297)


Wow, 5 stories in a row from Mikey and not one was submitted by Roland Piquepalle.

Bill
What the FUCK is this SHIT?

In Case Of Slashdotting (5, Funny)

American AC in Paris (230456) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504298)

In case of slashdotting, here's the original GIF:

47 49 46 38 49 61 35 02 DC 02 C4 00 00 E0 E0 E0
F0 F0 F0 10 10 10 D0 D0 D0 A0 A0 A0 30 30 30 20
20 20 90 90 90 60 60 60 50 50 50 70 70 70 B0 B0
B0 40 40 40 80 80 80 C0 C0 C0 00 00 00 FF FF FF
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 21 F9 04
00 00 00 00 00 2C 00 00 00 00 35 02 DC 02 00 05
FF 20 04 8E 64 69 9E 68 AA AE 6C EB BE 70 2C CF

[Lameness Filter encountered. Post aborted.]

In case of /.ing (1, Funny)

Shadow Wrought (586631) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504299)

"it was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

Re:In case of /.ing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504447)

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times ... 'blurst' of times? You stupid monkey!"

Thank goodness for the Internet (5, Funny)

Staplerh (806722) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504301)

Maybe this means that I'll see the Opening Crawl for Episode III before that poor bloke who started camping out in front of the theatre about a month ago!

Hope It's not Another Kid's Movie (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504467)

I hope that the new Star Wars movie actually appeals to adults. If it is just another shoot-em-up robo movie, then I would be seriously disappointed. Such a movie would be no different from Voyager or Enterprise. They suck and are sucking.

... support human rights in Tibet [phrusa.org]

Re:Hope It's not Another Kid's Movie (2, Insightful)

PriceIke (751512) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504563)

May I suggest Battlestar Galactica [scifi.com] as an alternative. Sci-fi for grownups.

Oh Dear. (2, Funny)

bburton (778244) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504308)

I just pissed my pants from excitement.

General Grievous? (3, Insightful)

10Ghz (453478) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504309)

*sigh*

Re:General Grievous? (5, Funny)

Xpilot (117961) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504324)

Yeah, he's the 2nd cousin twice removed of General Protection Fault.

Re:General Grievous? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504431)

Now, THAT is funny.

Re:General Grievous? (3, Funny)

artemis67 (93453) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504435)

He's related to Major Fubar, isn't he?

Re:General Grievous? (4, Funny)

UWC (664779) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504443)

And Colonel Panic. Or something.

Re:General Grievous? (4, Funny)

jcostantino (585892) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504507)

Isn't his son Corporal Punishment?

Re:General Grievous? (5, Funny)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504493)

I'm surrounded by assholes!

Re:General Grievous? (2, Funny)

Khakionion (544166) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504562)

And nephew to Constable Flagrant System Error.

Re:General Grievous? (1)

pezpunk (205653) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504329)

hahaha! you took my post =(

Re:General Grievous? (2, Funny)

grub (11606) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504348)


And his thugs Sergent Bodily and Captain Harm.

Re:General Grievous? (5, Informative)

dstewart (853530) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504489)

From the Star Wars Databank [starwars.com] :

"General Grievous was developed for Episode III as a powerful new villain on the side of the Confederacy. The initial instructions that Director George Lucas gave the Art Department were very open-ended: "a droid general." From that vague direction, the artists developed a lot of explorations, some purely mechanical, some not, for the look of General Grievous."

He can be seen here [starwars.com] engaged in heated battle with Earthworm Jim.

Duh! (2, Funny)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504543)

Re:General Grievous?
*sigh*

Why 'General Grievous?'? Because General Electric was already taken!

rimshot

General Grievous? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504311)

My god, how fucking stupid can Lucas get?

Re:General Grievous? (1)

LEgregius (550408) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504418)

I think he just showed us, but then, that may just be scratching the surface.

Re:General Grievous? (3, Insightful)

lpangelrob2 (721920) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504456)

So I'm guessing that you're one of those people that 25 years ago said, "Skywalker? How cheesy is that? Does he even think he's a native-American tribal hero?"

Or are we again doomed to a thread where all that is holy and righteous was that which was Star Wars 4, 5, and 6. :-p

Wrong Tack (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504533)

You have it all wrong -- while the first two movies were pretty good, Lucas' stories and new characters are just getting progressively dumber.

Darth Sidious? General Grievous? What's next, Senator Poopyhead?

Re:General Grievous? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504561)

6 coasted for a long time of the surprise of 4, and the strength of 5. In RotJ all that really stands up are parts of the final space battle, and the scout bike chase.

Well I don't know... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504461)

But if one of us forks over ten bucks to see the end of RoTK +1 glowing sword, -1 ring of power and two gay dudes intead of hobbits I bet we can find out.

Re:General Grievous? (1)

eln (21727) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504500)

MAybe he's portrayed as a tragic figure. I mean, come on, with a name like that, he's obviously doomed from birth to be a bad guy in a cheesy sci-fi film.

Re:General Grievous? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504540)

It's his movie (for children, by the way). You don't own it. You're not obligated to watch it. Stop whining.

thanks... (3, Funny)

phyruxus (72649) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504313)

but meesa wait for the broadcast.

Not again! (2, Insightful)

wjames (579137) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504317)

Why does it sound like the story line to Episode I? Seriously, Kidnapped (Captured) Political Figure, Jedi go save her. They dont need to use the story line from Episode 4 all 4 times.

Re:Not again! (1)

TheNextBigThing (849842) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504353)

GL is a big parrallel story fan. I've got a bad feeling about this.

Re:Not again! (1)

Metzli (184903) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504465)

Why not? People paid to see it three times, why would anyone expect them not to pay to see it four times?

It's funny, everyone I knew went to see Episode I because it was Star Wars. Then, they went to see Episode II while saying, "There's no way it can be a lame as Episode I." Now, they're planning to see Episode III while saying, "The prequels _have_ to get better or at least show some tie-in with Episode IV."

Personally, I'll go see it just to see how far Lucas will stretch this out just to make a buck. IMHO, he should've simply stopped with Jedi....

Back to the Future (4, Insightful)

TFGeditor (737839) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504318)

Is it just me, or does the whole "back to the future" approach somehow degrade the Star Wars saga? The new stuff has nifty effects and all, but it just doesn't have the "feel" of the originals.

Re:Back to the Future (4, Funny)

dr_dank (472072) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504373)

Is it just me, or does the whole "back to the future" approach somehow degrade the Star Wars saga?

Agree. SW jumped the shark when Yoda said "tree you make like and get out of here!".

IS this spelled right? (1)

SirChris (676927) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504321)

Episode III REVENGE OF THE SITH War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere. In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate. As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor....

Revenge - Return (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504327)

Who wants to bet that the real name will be the Return Of The Sith, just like Jedi wasn't a "Revenge" movie?

Re:Revenge - Return (1)

nightznoe (626458) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504466)

It was changed from return to revenge then back to retun again because as a Jedi, you're not suppose to take revenge. It's all about that holier than thou thing the Jedis are supposed to be...but there is no reason a bad guy can't exact revenge

Spoiler (5, Funny)

TheNextBigThing (849842) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504328)

Annikin becomes Darth Vader!!

NOOOO!!!!!!! (4, Funny)

paranode (671698) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504349)

That's not true, that's IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

Re:NOOOO!!!!!!! (1)

mog (22706) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504423)

don't you mean unpossible?

Re:NOOOO!!!!!!! (1)

Delirium Tremens (214596) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504457)

Unconceivable.

Re:NOOOO!!!!!!! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504504)

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Capitalization (4, Funny)

Mekabyte (678689) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504331)

Separatist Droid Army and not SEPARATIST DROID ARMY?

Well... (1)

gustgr (695173) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504335)

As expected, not very exciting IMHO...

Re:Well... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504382)

and yet you post about it...

Sneak preview of Wookie Commander (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504344)

Doesn't it figure, those furries got some sneak previews of the Wookie Commander outfit. [fursuitsex.com]

spoiler- (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504346)

Anakin is Darth Vader!

Re:spoiler- (2, Informative)

TheKidWho (705796) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504389)

No, I am your father.

War! Huh! Hey! What is it good for? (5, Funny)

Chagatai (524580) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504347)

Absolutely nothing!

Seriously, with the way the new crawl starts with the word "War!", Lucas just might have replaced it with "Ass!" or something else asinine.

Crawler Text in case of /.ing (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504355)

Episode III
REVENGE OF THE SITH

War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by
the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are
heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader,
General Grievous, has swept into the Republic
capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine,
leader of the Galactic Senate.

As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee
the besieged capital with their turgid hostage,
two Jedi Knights and a brave but clumsy Gungan
warrior lead a desperate mission to rescue the
captive Chancellor....

Re:Crawler Text in case of /.ing (1)

rsteele19 (150541) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504445)

If you can read this,
you don't need glasses.

Typos above (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504481)

Misspelled as "sith". Please correct ASAP.

Re:Crawler Text in case of /.ing (1)

cplusplus (782679) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504502)

"...and a brave but clumsy Gungan warrior lead a desperate mission..."
Are my hopes and dreams coming true? Is this the part where Jar-Jar finally dies?

Re:Crawler Text in case of /.ing (5, Funny)

Bonker (243350) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504520)

Episode VI
THE RETURN OF THE HYPE
Money! Lucas' Fanbase is crumbling under
the onslaught of bad film after bad film.
Theree are people camping out for Episode
III, but everyone thinks they are just
kinda sad.

In a predictable move, Lucas Arts has
announced dozens of new action figures
and marketing tie-ins. Ronald McDonald has
been Kidnapped and is being replaced by
Yoda, C-3P0, and Chewbacca.

As the general geek community attempts
to brace for another soul-crushing
dissapointment, Jar Jar Binks threatens
to taint yet another gasping breath of
a dying franchise...

"There are heroes on both sides" (2, Insightful)

manifoldronin (827401) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504361)

I guess that leaves the door open for whatever the upcoming Lucas Arts games.

Re:"There are heroes on both sides" (1)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504439)

I guess that leaves the door open for whatever the upcoming Lucas Arts games.

Sure, but the question on everyone's mind is, will Lucas Arts Games acquire exclusive rights to Premiership Soccer or NHL Hockey before returning to writing games about jedis, droids and lightsabre duels.

And with that... (2, Insightful)

JasonUCF (601670) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504365)

And with that, the final raping of your childhood memories of Star Wars is now nearly at hand. Grab your wallet, grab your glasses, and grab your ankles.. May is coming sooner than you think!

Can someone explain something(s)? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504386)

Is Dooku good or evil? Which is the Empire and which is the Rebellion? Is Dooku on either one of those?

Which side (Palpatine vs .Dooku) is the one that gets Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers?

Since Palpatine is the Emperor, how can he be on both sides?

I've seen Episode II a bunch of times, but frankly, I can't figure it all out. This isn't a troll, I'm curious. (Posted anon. out of attempt to maintain some geek cred.)

Re:Can someone explain something(s)? (1)

slungsolow (722380) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504419)

Dooku is evil, and he is more than likely the current apprentice to sidious. Anakin takes his place after Dooku is disposed of.

Re:Can someone explain something(s)? (5, Informative)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504479)

Is Dooku good or evil?

Evil. It's the laughing at wholesale destruction and killing the Jedi that gives it away...

Which is the Empire and which is the Rebellion? Is Dooku on either one of those?

The (Old) Republic becomes The Empire. The Rebellion hasn't started (because it has nothing, yet, to rebel against). Dooku is on the side that will become The Empire.

Which side (Palpatine vs .Dooku) is the one that gets Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers?

Palpatine and Dooku are on the same side. They are both Sith (i.e. evil).

Since Palpatine is the Emperor, how can he be on both sides?

Palpatine is creating a war situation to allow him to seize tighter control and disband the senate. This is a fairly unoriginal trick amongst politicians (see Margret Thatcher in the UK and George W. Bush in the US for real life examples - although they were both a bit less blatant about it). Palpatine's minions are running the separatist movement, under his orders.

I've seen Episode II a bunch of times, but frankly, I can't figure it all out.

It's not exactly complicated...

Must RESIST ... must resist .. whimper (5, Funny)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504390)

Look. Look.
See. See.
Look. Look. Look.
See. See. See.
See Anakin. See Anakin turn. Turn Anakin turn.
See Jedis. See Jedis die. Die Jedis die.
See Palpatine. See Palpatine rule. Rule Palpatine rule.
Look. See Darth Vader. See Amidala. See Amidala give birth and hide children. Hide them Amidala.
See Amidala die. Die Amidala die.

There's so much to see.

Count Dooku? (1)

AviLazar (741826) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504398)

ugh, no wonder he is evil, what a terrible name "Hello Dooki...i mean dooku"

Twist (1)

TheNextBigThing (849842) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504401)

I just want to know what the twist is. Will GL make everything the way we expect like Annakin allies with Sith, becomes vader, get in a fight...etc. Gotta be something more. I hope.

Revised Crawl (5, Funny)

FunWithHeadlines (644929) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504412)

REVENGE OF THE LUCAS
Cash! The production house is crumbling
under attacks by the ruthless
Sith Lord, and Slashdot fanboys.
There are whiners on both sides.
Ennui is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the
fiendish droid leader, General
Lucas, has swept into the
Hollywood capital and kidnapped
famous movie critics, and leaders of
the big studios.

As the exhasperated Slashdot army
attempts to flee the onslaught
of PR pushed by bought-for flaks
two Jedi Knights lead a
desperate mission to rescue the
captive franchise...

Just when you thought it was safe . . . (1)

Captoo (103399) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504414)

Don't let the MPAA find out that you viewed the crawler text on-line. They'd freak!!!

asking for your opinions (1, Interesting)

greechneb (574646) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504416)

So for someone who hasn't seen all of the Star Wars series:

Should I wait until this comes out, and then see the 6 in their intended order?

Or should I forget all the prequels, and just watch the original three?

Or watch the original three, then the prequels?

I'm curious what the general concensus is. I've just never watched them, except for the original star wars once. (Now that I've shocked everyone, what's your opinion?)

At this point? (1)

Farrside (78711) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504483)

Watch all three Matrices in order... you'll get better value.

Re:At this point? (1)

greechneb (574646) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504521)

I already did that, and I should have stuck with just the first one.

Re:asking for your opinions (0, Troll)

lucabrasi999 (585141) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504492)

I would suggest that you don't watch ANY of them. Honestly, they just aren't worth it. And, this is coming from someone that went to the theater multiple times when Star Wars first came out.

Re:asking for your opinions (1)

SpartacusJones (848951) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504496)

I'm kinda jealous of you- I think it would be interesting to be able to watch them all for the first time in order (number wise, not production-wise).

Re:asking for your opinions (1)

hencethus (750090) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504510)

Watch the original trilogy (the original versions if you can find them on VHS or something), then only watch the prequels after you've tried really hard to resist.

Re:asking for your opinions (1)

grub (11606) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504527)


Should I wait until this comes out, and then see the 6 in their intended order?

My thinking, and I'm no Star Wars fanboy, is that you should watch Ep IV, V & VI then I, II & III as stand alone trilogies. Trying to make sense of what Lucas has done makes a mockery of IV-VI.

You have no valid option (1)

texasfight (833973) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504528)

The only proper way to experience Star Wars was to watch the original, unbastardized Trilogy in a movie theatre. Unless you can find someone that has squirreled away a properly maintained print, this will never be possible again.

Your next best option is to find someone with the original 3 movies on laserdisc.

Stay away from the remakes and the new movies like you would avoid a bus-load of MPAA attornies infected with the plague.

Re:asking for your opinions (2, Funny)

Metzli (184903) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504541)

Watch IV, then V, then VI. Unless you're _really_ bored and/or inebriated, skip I and II. We'll see about III, but I'm not holding my breath....

Re:asking for your opinions (1)

Fr05t (69968) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504555)

Holy crap greechneb where the hell have you been!? In my oppinion if you haven't seen any of the movies I'd wait until 3 has come out then watch them all start to finish. The ep 1-3 will suck more and more, then 4-6 will seem that much better. It would be like eating your own crap for a month then sitting you down in front of the finest steak and potatoes the world has ever seen!

Re:asking for your opinions (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504557)

Watch the orignals, and that's it. All the "new" ones suck big ass. Really, they really are much worse than episodes 4-5-6. I expect the coming ep3 will be no surprise.

The original (1, Redundant)

numbski (515011) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504441)

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the Old Republic was
crumbling away, rotting from the corruption and treachery
within. Power-hungry technocrats and wealthy bureaucrats
maneuvered and bribed their way into office, while one am-
bitious senator plotted to destroy the Jedi and rule the
galaxy.

Hoping to restore virtue and the remembered glory of the
Republic, the High Council of Senators dispatched the Jedi
Knights - protectorate of justice in the galaxy - on a
quest to retrieve the lost Kaiburr Crystal. They believed
that the small diamond-like object (which intensified the
power of the Force) would unite the disaffected among the
people and would destroy the corruption around them.

However, within their Council, the evil Senator Palpatine
had other traitorous designs. Foreseeing that the Crystal
would secure his position as Emperor, Palpatine deceived one
of the Jedi Knights and sent him to acquire the Crystal.

good grief (2, Insightful)

WormholeFiend (674934) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504442)

General Grievous is described on the star wars site basically as a cyborg, not a droid.

Or do they mean he's the general of a droid army?

These people need good writers, that's for sure.

Re:good grief (1)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504539)

and what about his name? "grievous" is as bad as "sleazebaggio"!!!

and dooku has been used before, i think... so his name might not be new (im no expert on star wars here), but dooku is a pretty lame name as well. like "evil mr dookie head! rawr!"

i guess the poor material on the writing side stems from the fact that lucas hasnt seen any of the other kurosawa films yet =p

Some real news about Revenge of the Sith (1, Flamebait)

mustangdavis (583344) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504451)

Anakin gets even with Count Dooku - and cuts off BOTH of his hands - before cutting his head off

Obi-Won Kenobi kills the Jedi hunter, General Grievous - who can use three or more light sabers at one time, with the General's own blasters. The General's light sabers are trophies from Jedi he has slain in the past.

Anakin turns on Mace Windu when Mace goes to face Palpatine/The Emperor. Mace dies by falling out of a window after the Emperor fries him with lightning.

Yoda gets pwned by the Emperor

Qui-Gon Jin comes back as a ghost and explains the true nature of the force to Yoda after he loses his fight with the Emperor.

Anakin and Obi-Won fight each other with blue light sabers.

Obi-won chops off Anakin's other real hand and both of his legs.



Now there is some news about RotS!


Create your own in Blender (1)

ch-chuck (9622) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504453)

It's not too hard to make your own SW crawl in blender, just make some 3D text with a stary background and run a camera pointed at an angle down it, render. S'fun.

Converts to gull blown screener (2, Funny)

Linker3000 (626634) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504468)

It may only be a crawler when you first look, but I've just ordered this wonderful image enhancer sticker from an online store - the sticker's only about 1.5" by 2" and according to the spec it's manufactured from "advanced, outsized nanoparticles fused with filings from real phase inverted plasma conduits", and when you stick it on the side of your monitor you can see a full length screener of the film.

Here's a spoiler for you... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504476)

You will die alone!

I like to think I'm not the only one.. (1)

Tepshen (851674) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504485)

... That is actually going to ignore this movie. I refuse to give lucas and other assorted madmen one more dollar for the previlage of being dissapointed. Any weakness will be shored up by howard the duck rentals.

In case Slashdotting (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504490)

Episode III
REVENGE OF GEORGE LUCAS

Profit! Skywalker Ranch is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Rust Lord. There are dorks on both sides. Money is everywhere.

In an all-but-stunning move, the fiendish droid director, George Lucas, has swept into the Movie realm and kidnapped anything vaguely interesting in the plot.

As the idiotic producers attempt to get away from the box office with their shameful plot, two Midiclorian Wh0res and an unfunny Gungan warrior lead a desperate mission to rescue the Star Wars series....

obligatory simpsons reference (4, Funny)

Class Act Dynamo (802223) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504501)

I would be remiss in my duties if I did not bring up the Cosmic Wars crawler text.

The Gathering Shadow

It is a time of uncertainty. The
empire's ambiguous tariff statutes
mandate close reexamination of
galactic import quotas. Interim
Princess Agoomba has co-chaired
a subcommittee to draft amendments
to existing trade policies

Meanwhile, regulatory agencies
are being heavily lobbied by a
consortium of mercantile interest
groups and their suppliers to
streamline loading restrictions for
class C cargo vessels. The shipping...

Parody (1)

boschmorden (610937) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504506)

In long, long time ago, galaxy far, far away. War was beginning. Obi-Wan: What happen ? Anakin: Somebody set up us the bomb. Yoda: We get signal. Obi-Wan: What ! Mace: Main screen turn on. Obi-Wan: It's You !! Palpatine: How are you gentlemen !! Palpatine: All your base are belong to us. Palpatine: You are on the way to destruction. Yoda: What say you !! Palpatine: You have no chance to survive make your time. Palpatine: HA HA HA HA .... Yoda: Take off zig every !! Yoda: You know you doing what . Yoda: Move 'zig'. Yoda: For just great.

STAR WAR!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11504517)

Well it goes something like this...

Episode III
REVENGE OF THE SITH

Bore! ...

blah blah

Just crap...

The transition to anime.... (1)

jdgeorge (18767) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504531)

Each premise becomes more and more wacko.

Each character becomes more two dimensional.

Seriously, I'm expecting nothing but dramatically colored animation with lots of shocked expressions.

If the writing is like anime (not good anime, mind you), the sets are completely animated, the acting is like anime....

To quote somebody from the upcoming movie (you know somebody's going to say it):
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Not palpable? (1)

texasfight (833973) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504558)

What if Palpatine does not want to be rescued...

It is just me (4, Funny)

calbanese (169547) | more than 9 years ago | (#11504560)

Or does anyone else think that Lucas should spice up Episode III with some breakdancing?
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