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420 comments

Sounds like... (4, Funny)

nuclear305 (674185) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673417)

Someone has been watching too much Back to the Future.

Nice to see some tech details instead of just pretty pictures though.

Slashdotted, here's the Google Cache (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673488)

http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:FiCMnb9IkuUJ:ww w.linuxjournal.com/article/7403+How+I+Feed+My+Cats +with+Linux+%7C+Linux+Journal&hl=en&client=firefox -a

Linux has come a long way (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673512)

Going on fifteen years, and it's come far enough to feed a fucking cat. Congratulations, fanboys.

Re:Linux has come a long way (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673640)

Don't knock it; it feeds at least a handful of programmers as well.

Re:Sounds like... (5, Funny)

Asgard (60200) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673529)

Or from another TV series:


Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
Cat: Fish!
Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
Cat: Fish!
[...]


Microsoft is coming out with this too... (5, Funny)

PHPgawd (744675) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673596)

In order to stay current with all Linux features, Microsoft Feed (tm) will be bundled with the next major release of Windows.

The early insider-only reviews contain the following highlights:

  • The feeder dispenses 70kg of food at a time no matter what size cat you have.
  • Users of the feeder must use Microsoft CatChow (tm) or an authorized, licensed, compatible cat food (MS-ALCCF). Non-Microsoft licensed cat foods "may" cause your cat to crash.
  • The feeder contains hidden, Microsoft-only APIs to connect to Microsoft LitterBox (tm) and Microsoft ScratchingPost (tm). These products will be available early next year.
  • To show Microsoft's committment to open standards, any kind of water may be used with the Feeder product, although Microsoft may "extend" the Water Standard anytime in the future in incompatible ways.

How sad (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673422)

how sad. if this wasnt possible using windows, or even dos! i mean hey, my digital camera uses dos so i bet it would be possible to use dos to feed some stupid pengu^Wcats. but no, linux zealots have to mention it: "we're even able to feed our cats using linux!!!!!!!11"

I want chicken, I want liver... (5, Funny)

ShatteredX (788982) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673426)

Linux, Linux, please deliver~

The real deal (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673669)

I got this from a verified source who's in the know:

Long story short, michael was canned for his abusive and egotistical personality.

Rob's been building a list of complaints by users about michael's abusive patterns but he never acted on it. Well, michael managed to bitchslap one of Rob's old college buddies' accounts along with a couple of paid accounts, word eventually filtered down to Rob, and he had kittens. He convinced michael's OSTG manager to track him down and drag him into a conference call.

Rob laid down the law and started reading off complaints and michael raised his voice, saying that if Rob had a personal problem with him that he didn't need to go over his head and involve his manager in it.

During the shouting match, michael's editor flag was revoked. He was in the admin area at the time and he noticed.

At this point he went totally ballistic and started screaming about how this was why he moved, to get away from "arrogant elitist bullshit". (this is a direct quote.. michael actually did move from New York to Canada to protest George W. Bush's inauguration in 2001. Andover kept him on since it was only an all-remote job anyway.)

michael's manager ducked out of the call to page (read: wake up) Hemos (overseas on business) to three-way him into the call, to try and calm everyone down.

There was some more shouting, and michael's manager told him that things aren't working out well, and that he's going to recommend that his employment be terminated.

michael just hung up, and that was the end of the call as well as michael's employment with OSTG.

Feeding time (5, Funny)

mesach (191869) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673429)

I thought that feeding time was the only time that most cats paid any attention to you. Why on earth anyone would want to take that away I will never know.

Re:Feeding time (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673538)

I got the BSD version. My cat started acting weird so I took it to the vet. He said it's dying...

Re:Feeding time (5, Funny)

lrucker (621551) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673652)

There's also book-reading time. I suspect the real reason ebooks didn't take off was that it's harder to hold an ebook in a position where the cat doesn't block it.

Cat feeder (4, Funny)

cyberfunk2 (656339) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673430)

I'd ask if this was completely nessicary, but knowing the forgetful habbits of nerds...

Hell I'm suprised fluffy aint dead already.

cat food /dev/cat (5, Funny)

delire (809063) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673431)


there, i said it

Re:cat food /dev/cat (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673471)

You forgot to redirect it... looks like you're eating the cat food yourself!

cat food > /dev/cat

Re:cat food /dev/cat (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673560)

The cat food, and the cat itself!

FISH! FISH! FISH! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673439)

..I've been fished to death!

OK, so my only question is... (5, Funny)

oGMo (379) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673444)

What does it feed the cats to?

Re:OK, so my only question is... (5, Funny)

AndroidCat (229562) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673561)

The bit at the top said something about a python! (The FA is /.'ed and there's a brandwidth seller's ad right under that. Hmm.)

BableFish (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673447)

Hmmm.... I could have used something like this in the HHGTTG text game.

Litter box (5, Funny)

lsmeg (529105) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673451)

So can you also set up a cron job to clean the litter box?

Re:Litter box (1)

ari_j (90255) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673500)

You can, but /dev/null isn't available. And even if it were, we know from experience that "cat /dev/random > /dev/null" is a futile exercise, at best.

Re:Litter box (2, Informative)

wattersa (629338) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673586)

> So can you also set up a cron job to clean the litter box?

No need for cron even-- just get Litter Robot [litter-robot.com], the self-cleaning robotic litterbox! It looks futuristic...oddly like one of those pods from 2001: A Space Odyssey. But does it run linux?

Re:Litter box (4, Funny)

ari_j (90255) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673610)

self-cleaning robotic litterbox ... does it run linux?

I don't know, but as long as nobody makes a Beowulf cluster of them, I'll be happy.

How did they get away with it! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673456)

Every time I use a CAT in Linux my files change.

the world needs more vets.... (2, Interesting)

rivj0r (815503) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673457)

It amazes me how few people realize that to have a healthy house cat you should be feeding it nothing but biscuits and what it hunts itself. An automated fish dispenser. Bet the cats fat, lazy and losing its teeth.

Re:the world needs more vets.... (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673525)

Not all of us live in houses infested with rats and mice though.

Re:the world needs more vets.... (1)

rivj0r (815503) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673601)

Heh! True that...

Luckily Sir Isaac Newton invented the catflap. A truely astounding invention. Douglas Adams says so. :)

Re:the world needs more vets.... (1)

Joe Tie. (567096) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673670)

Luckily Sir Isaac Newton invented the catflap.

Sounds a bit like a regional dialect thing. I took your earlier mention of housecat to mean a cat who never leaves the house.

Re:the world needs more vets.... (1)

AndroidCat (229562) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673606)

There were frequent mice in my old 12th floor apartment to keep the cat amused. After Mishah passed away, it took the mice a couple years to figure out she was gone, and then Holy Frack! they got bold!

Speeking of cat feeding... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673458)

There's a new Cringely for those looking for stuff that matters...

Cats... (1)

Space_Soldier (628825) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673459)

I have 3, and these egotistical bastards only give you attention when they want, not when you want. One of them is extremely friendly when the bowl is empty. Other than that, he sleeps all day.

Overkill. (2, Funny)

David M. Sweeney (105063) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673461)

Hardware hacking and Python? Pfft. All he had to do is this:

% cat < /tmp/tastyFish

What are they teaching young admins in college these days, anyway?

Re: Linux-based cat feeder (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673464)

Meeeeow

First post

More fish please or I shred the furntiure

something that feeds off cats (5, Funny)

pyrrho (167252) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673475)

and it runs linux!!!

finally a solution to the feral cat problem! Open Source ROCKS!!!

and I think my dog will love it... she doesn't seem that fond of cats.

what? read the article? excuse me... I only read titles... I'm American! If you don't get the meaning in that title... that's your bad.

anyway... cat eating robots... my god what will they think up next!?

This would be useful... (1)

canofbutter (843238) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673477)

I can see a lot of use for a system like this. Not so much day-to-day, but there are times I'm on vacation, traveling for business, working strange hours that throw off the "feed cat" routine, etc. Being on something like Linux (or anything I could ssh into) would be really nice so I could dispense food manually when I was away.

Cat door (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673478)

And for those of you who are sick of getting up to open the door for your feline friend, you'll be happy to know that problem [quantumpicture.com] has been solved as well.

Word choice (4, Insightful)

ari_j (90255) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673481)

I understand that the submitter is just confused between dispense [m-w.com] and disburse [m-w.com], but I know for a fact that I never want a fish, yummy or otherwise, dispersed [m-w.com] in my home.

insightful? (4, Funny)

pyrrho (167252) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673634)

I thought it was funny.

from a slashdot perspective it's insightful... a lot of geeks just went... "good point... perhaps I should modify my fish dispersal plans"

Just another way.. (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673482)

..to get more time with your computer and ignore the only other living thing(s) in your household?

Re:Just another way.. (3, Insightful)

Kozar_The_Malignant (738483) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673614)

The quickest way to find a cat in my house is to sit down at the computer. Within 30 seconds there will be a cat on the keyboard.

My encounter with the founders of xxxchurch.com (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673485)

Mike Foster and Craig Gross, founders of the deceptively christian anti-pornography website, xxxchurch.com, as well as thegoofballs.com, are very entertaining individuals. While that may not come as any sort of suprise to those who are already aware of their exploits for the Lord, the following may be.

My name is David Rockwell. I'm a former christian, black male, and I'm 19 years old this year. I met Mike and Craig at one of their demonstrations in Atlanta, Georgia, in 2001. After hearing them give their speech, I spoke with them for a short time afterwards. We instantly hit it off, and decided to continue our discussions at their hotel room.

Our discussion had been as rational as you could expect; they're very firm in their beliefs. Things took a shocking turn shortly, however.

After about 20 minutes of discussion, Mike looked at Craig in kind of a sly fashion, and swiftly pulled a small plastic bag out of his coat pocket. It took me a moment to realize that I was looking at marijuana (I'd never seen it up close before). Mike then asked Craig for a liter, and asked if I smoked. I said no, and wanted to protest, but these two individuals are very persuasive people, and I felt I couldn't refuse. They both puffed on a metal pipe that Mike had, and passed it to me. I desperately did not want to do drugs, but I did anyway. We continued to pass it around a couple of times.

I eventually expressed that I'd never smoked marijuana before, and that I was feeling very paranoid and nervous about it. Mike and Craig noticed my tension, and started to calm me down by expressing how it was actually okay according to scripture to smoke marijuana, because of some bogus facts they conjured up about how it isn't harmful at all to your body, thus not in violation of any commandments. In my degraded mental state I fell for their logic, and was calmed, especially when we started talking about Christianity again.

At this point however, I was starting to notice that the ideas they were expressing were very much not Christian ideas. They started talking about how it was okay to be homosexual, that it wasn't a choice, and that God loved them just as much as a heterosexual, and even blessed their disgusting lifestyle! At this point I was very agreeable, making me consider that they slipped something in my drink (we were drinking leftover punch from the demonstration).

Finally, Craig turned to Mike, in such a manner that a boy will look at a girl when he has feelings for her, leaned in, and kissed him on the lips. By this point I was so petrified that I was in this room with these hypocrites, these liars, that I started shaking uncontrollably. The look after they noticed this suggested that Mike and Craig both sort of realized they'd crossed a line. I expressed that I wanted to leave. They both were trying to get me to promise them that I wouldn't tell anyone, and I reluctantly agreed.

The guilt since then has been eating me up inside. I can't trust anyone, or what they say, and this has caused me to question everything I believe in, including my own faith in the Lord. I've been very lost for the last couple of years, trying to find my way in this world, and I felt I had to make clear the hypocrisy of these individuals. If God is up in the sky, may he bless us all.

Jesus wants me for a turd beam (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673486)

"a device that would automatically disperse a yummy fish at specified intervals."

I'm reading this on Valentine's day. Alone. And this news excites me.

Dear God, why was I even born?

Re:Jesus wants me for a turd beam (0, Offtopic)

pyrrho (167252) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673499)

you have not been born, these are just your hallucinations within the womb, it gets much weirder.

Cat fish? (4, Funny)

Tackhead (54550) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673489)

> A little hardware hacking and Python scripting can get you a device that would automatically disperse a yummy fish at specified intervals

Bah. On my system, cat [zevils.com] and fish [zevils.com] come preinstalled.

So all I need to do for the specified interval bit is add a line to my crontab that looks something like this:

1 * * * * "cat /usr/local/bin/fish | twofish | blowfish > seuss.fish"

Food in tin cans (5, Funny)

saddino (183491) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673505)

This reminds me of the old UNIX joke:


$ cat "food in tin cans"
cat: cannot open food in tin cans


Of course, BSD's "cat: food in tin cans: No such file or directory" doesn't have quite the same effect.

i'd be more impressed... (1)

RoadWarriorX (522317) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673507)

if you made a cat litter cleaner that picked up all my cat's sh*it, bagged it and throw it out in the morning trash... using linux!

smells good... (1)

St. Arbirix (218306) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673524)

A little hardware hacking and Python scripting can get you a device that would automatically disperse a yummy fish at specified intervals.

Throw in a little Slashdotting and the fish is cooked to perfection!

The cat ate the server... (1)

daniel23 (605413) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673527)


maybe she thought it would be so much cooler if the food server handled requests properly.

Regular intervals... - sheesh! Humans just don't know how to do such a simple thing like make a cat happy!

Dispersing (5, Funny)

pbalzac (463452) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673535)

a device that would automatically disperse a yummy fish

Over how wide an area?

Re:Dispersing (1)

Artega VH (739847) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673616)

The summary said over a specified interval. So obviously the computer has some sort of catapult-like device attached. No doubt the python script calculates the angles and force required to put the specified interval between the fish puree.

Cats (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673552)

I don't want to start a holy war here, but what is the deal with you cat fanatics? I've been sitting here on my sofa in front of a cat (a sealpoint siamese) for about 20 minutes now while attempting to get it's attention away from a bug on the floor. 20 minutes. At home, with my labrador cross, which by all standards should be a lot dumber than this cat, the same operation would take about 2 minutes. If that.

In addition, during this attention seeking attempt, my children's attention is also held by the cat. And everything else has ground to a halt. Even trying to get the remote from my partner fails.

I won't bore you with the laundry list of other problems that I've encountered while dealing with other cats, but suffice it to say there have been many, not the least of which is I've never seen a cat that fetches as much as it's canine counterpart, despite the cat's faster ambulatory system. My terrier with one ingrown toenail runs consistently faster than this siamese at times, as the cat is often completely asleep. From a productivity standpoint, I don't get how people can claim that the cat is a superior animal.

Cat addicts, flame me if you'd like, but I'd rather hear some intelligent reasons why anyone would choose to use a cat over other faster, cheaper, more affectionate animals.

Re:Cats (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673621)

I'd rather hear some intelligent reasons why anyone would choose to use a cat over other faster, cheaper, more affectionate animals.


Because the meat is tastier and better marbled than dog, easier to hunt than rabbit, more tender and less gamy than raccoon, and you can use the fur to line your cold-weather gear. And they're so trusting - you can line up a cat in your rifle's sights and the little moron will walk right up to you as you pop him in the forehead with a .22 Hornet.

Red Dwarf says cat wants many fish! (5, Funny)

fermion (181285) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673553)

Machine: Hello. How can I help you?
Cat: Fish!
M: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
C: Fish!
M: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
C: Fish!
M: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
C: Fish!
M: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
C: Fish!
M: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
C: Fish!
M: Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
C: I will!

cats, like basement trapped boys, have little else to do than figure out how to hack the machine.

Humph. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673556)

Sounds fishy to me.

What a mess... (1)

jnicholson (733344) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673562)

I really hope he built a limiter into the device on the other end. When the /. crowd gets a hold of the link to the feeder, look out...

This is silly (1)

daveo0331 (469843) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673571)

Cats are perfectly capable of eating in moderation. If you're going away for a week, leave your cats enough food and water for a week and they'll be fine.

What would really be useful is a version of this that dispenses dog food.

Re:This is silly (1)

tekiegreg (674773) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673612)

hmmm explain this to my cat (though I think she has an eating disorder)...

Honestly my cat will try and eat whatever we put in front of it, until it overeats and barfs it all up. If I tried what you suggested I'd probably come home to find all that food converted to barf and a cat still looking for more food...so for me this cat feeder is a kinda neat idea (however I have a not-so-geeky automated one already to handle this problem).

Re:This is silly (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673667)

Yep, there's something wrong with your cat alright.

Peronsally, (5, Funny)

robyannetta (820243) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673589)

Personally, I'd like to see one of those robotic self-cleaning litter boxes hacked with their own version of linux. Think of the possibilities!

You can program it to a solenoid on the front door. If someone opens the door, the robotic scooper is automatically put in "turbo" mode, rakes and shoots a sandy shit at you at 50mph. Hacking. It's just not for coffee machines anymore.

MOD PARENT UP! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673633)

I laughed my @$$ off at this post.

The more obvious choice (1)

JonLatane (750195) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673599)

Jeez, if you're gonna be running it on your cat feeder, shouldn't you be using NetBSD? Or is it more horsepower than you need? :P

What if? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673600)

What happens if the cat doesn't eat the fish at the same rate that they're dispensed? A pile of rotten fish for the owner to dispose of when he/she gets home?

Prepositional playfulness... (5, Funny)

Colz Grigor (126123) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673609)

I've heard of feeding cats to pythons, but this is definitely the first time I've read about feeding cats with Python!

::Colz Grigor

Absurd (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673624)

The item serves well as a caricature of most "embedded Linux" stories here. This problem could be solved with a microcontroller that costs at most couple of dimes, with a few K of code. Using Linux (with a multi-meg kernel and umpty-megahertz processor) is an absurd waste of resources for this application, and a offense to decent engineering sensbility.

Is it really a good idea to project an image of I-don't-care bloatware, Linux-uber-alles insensibility, Linux just because it's Linux despite the application?

Kramer (1)

ChickenBlood (812039) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673627)

Turn off the alarm clock before going on vacation.


Otherwise your neighbors will short out your power with a paper clip and then have to feed the cat through the crack under the door.

Linux based cats? (1)

Turlian (859450) | more than 9 years ago | (#11673632)

But my cat isn't linux based. Any time I try to open its source it scratches the hell out of me.

brat cats (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673651)

i live just outside town, and people inside town when they dump their unwanted cats they end up around my house, i taken to feeding them, but after the cats eat i shew them away for the day because if they hang around the back yard they would kill birds that come to visit my bird feeders, this is a daily routine...

Poor kitty... :S (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#11673658)

The poor cat is gonna starve since we slashdotted it...
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