Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Microsoft's New Mantra - It Just Works

Zonk posted more than 9 years ago | from the we'll-see-when-we-see dept.

Windows 985

bonch writes "Fortune has a story about Microsoft's new philosophy--'It just works.' Jim Allchin details various planned Longhorn features to meet this goal, such as auto-defragmenting in the background, the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously, and the new ad campaign Microsoft is running to get people excited about Windows. Mentions are also made of the competition from Linux, OS X Tiger, and Google."

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

Unbelievable (5, Interesting)

BWJones (18351) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316628)

Wow. Cannot Microsoft even come up with their own mantras rather than copy [apple.com] others? Come on now guys, this is pathetic, but I guess nothing is new under the sun. Seriously though, even now, I still own a bit of stock in Microsoft and I've been to the campus a number of times, so from the annual reports I get, along with friends who work there, I know Microsoft can/should be able to do better than this. (Or can they?)

There are absolutely some capable folks there, so what is the problem? Why must you (almost) always use Apple as a source for inspiration? There is a reason that I moved my investments in Microsoft stock to Apple stock three years ago, and you are doing nothing to make me want to reinvest in Microsoft. Is marketing that out of control up there? Jim, come on now, I've met you and you are one smart guy. Finding the above link to Apple took me all of two seconds in Google and this statement from the article: "Jim Allchin, Microsoft's group vice president for platforms, looked at my Apple PowerBook and smugly pointed out that the number of copies of Windows sold this year will be more than all the Macintosh computers used worldwide." really worries me. It shows an arrogance that is not going to serve you or Microsoft well.

This is gay. You are gay. Here's the article: (0, Redundant)

Fecal Troll Matter (445929) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316646)


Microsoft's New Mantra: 'It Just Works'
Windows guru Jim Allchin talks to FORTUNE about Microsoft's next version of its operating system, Longhorn, revealing some of its features for the first time.
FORTUNE
Thursday, April 21, 2005
By David Kirkpatrick

David Kirkpatrick
Microsoft's New Mantra: 'It Just Works'
Identity Thieves Spying on Your WiFi?
Meetup and Cyber Rabble-rousing
Cisco CEO on U.S. Education: 'We're Losing the Battle'
iPods Make the World Go Away
Archive
Gates vs. Google: Search and Destroy
Gates vs. Google: Forget Windows
Apple's 'Tiger' to Stalk Rivals April 29
How Big Can Apple Get
Advanced Micro Devices
Apple Computer
Intel
Microsoft
Send to a friend
Print
Current Issue

Jim Allchin, Microsoft's group vice president for platforms, looked at my Apple PowerBook and smugly pointed out that the number of copies of Windows sold this year will be more than all the Macintosh computers used worldwide. By the end of 2005, he proudly noted, over 730 million people will be using Windows. "Business is good," he said, as he began to quickly page through his elaborate PowerPoint presentation. For the next hour and a half, in a stuffy Manhattan hotel room last week, Allchin gave me a fast-paced, enthusiastic lecture on Windows' latest updates, which will be released later this month, and on its next major version--Longhorn, which won't be released until the end of 2006.

Allchin, a wiry-built 54-year-old who has been in charge of Windows for almost a decade, is admirably blunt about his own frustrations using the current operating system. It annoys him, for example, that the adjustments necessary to move a laptop from a work to a home network aren't obvious. Longhorn, he said, will make that process easy, along with many other common tasks. If you want a Longhorn machine to automatically configure itself so you can work in a coffee shop, it will. If you put in a DVD, the volume will automatically adjust and the video will just start playing full screen. "You shouldn't have to spend a lot of time struggling with things," Allchin said, adding that the number one design goal for Longhorn has been: "It just works."

As Allchin detailed Longhorn's many features, publicly disclosing some for the first time, he noted that many will be "under the covers." Which means, for example, Longhorn will automatically clean up, or "defragment," your hard drive, if it is required. You won't even know it's happening. "There will be lots of little goodies for home and work," he added. Many of which will be focused on security.

Much has been made in the computer press recently of the surprising similarities between Longhorn and Apple's upcoming new Macintosh operating system, Tiger. (See Peter Lewis's recent column, Apple's 'Tiger' to Stalk Rivals April 29.) The bottom line is that both will make finding items in our ever-increasing digital stores of information and entertainment much easier. Longhorn doesn't just show you an icon for a document, for example, but rather an itsy-bitsy picture of the first page. If you have a really good monitor--and eyesight--you could even read the numbers in that spreadsheet. You also will be able to put files simultaneously in different folders, and find the one you want with much more ease than you can today. Microsoft's research shows that the average corporate employee spends about 20% of her time on the PC simply looking for items. "We're trying to go beyond search into what we call 'visualization and organization,'" said Allchin.

But Longhorn won't be released for another year and a half. In the meantime, Microsoft has to contend with Apple's Tiger as well as with Linux's open-source operating system. Linux is making significant inroads into Microsoft's markets, especially on servers. And many people, including me, consider Apple to have a superior operating system. But Allchin doesn't seem to be worried. He didn't even show much concern over Google's incredible rise, even though, as my colleague Fred Vogelstein describes in his cover story in the current FORTUNE, Gates vs. Google: Search and Destroy, Bill Gates is increasingly troubled about that company's inroads into software territory that Microsoft has historically owned.

Allchin did have a lot a lot to say about a major change that is coming to Windows this month. Rather than running just on computers that process 32 bits of data at a time, the new version will run on chips that process 64 bits. For Allchin, this is a very big deal for businesses and individuals. The reasons are technical, but the bottom line is that 64-bit computers will be much faster. They should also be more secure. With Intel and AMD, the world's major chip suppliers, moving to 64 bit, Allchin predicted that by the end of the year all chips sold to computer companies for servers will be 64 bit as will about half of all chips for desktop and laptop PCs. By the end of 2006, he said, "it will be hard to find even laptops that aren't 64-bit enabled." Longhorn will work on 64- and 32-bit computers.

A major ad campaign slated to start in coming weeks will trumpet the notion that you can do many great things using Windows. Allchin called it a "celebration." But the company will launch an even bigger campaign next year in support of Longhorn. "We'll put massive emphasis on this in terms of marketing and dollars," Allchin told me.

Windows is only getting started, as far as Allchin is concerned. As Internet-connected devices proliferate, the software will become even more pervasive, going well beyond its historic roots on the PC. "If it's got arithmetic logic on it, then I think our software should be targeting it," he said confidently. By that definition, there's barely a digital device that's excluded.

For all the advances that Microsoft and other computer companies have made in recent years, and despite the fact that PCs are central to many of our lives, it's still hard to use them. So it was reassuring to hear the main guy responsible for making their software predict that the situation will improve soon. I hope that he's right when he says that future systems will "just work."

In next week's column, I'll take a look at Microsoft Office's trajectory. I talked to Jeff Raikes, who is responsible for that ubiquitous piece of software.

And finally, a clarification: In last week's column, I didn't sufficiently emphasize that the key to protecting your home wireless network is to use a password. My own problems only began when I sneaked onto a neighbor's unprotected network.

Questions? Comments? E-mail them to me at dkirkpatrick@fortunemail.com

Get David Kirkpatrick by e-mail

Re:Unbelievable (4, Funny)

TripMaster Monkey (862126) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316740)



Microsoft: proudly stealing from Apple since 1983.

Re:Unbelievable (2, Insightful)

b17bmbr (608864) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316770)

Microsoft: Where do we want to steal from today?

Re:Unbelievable (3, Insightful)

RzUpAnmsCwrds (262647) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316744)

"Wow. Cannot Microsoft even come up with their own mantras rather than copy others?"

Because, as we know "It Just Works" was invented by Apple.

It's not like the phrase returns 150,000 hits on Google or anything. And Linux distros like Ubuntu certainly haven't used that phrase to describe their OS.

Re:Unbelievable (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316746)

here is the google link: "it just works" [google.com] with lots of OS X hits. here is the link for the microsoft PR guys: "it just works" [justfuckinggoogleit.com]

Why? (5, Funny)

Senjutsu (614542) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316807)

Because stealing from Apple just works.

Re: stocks (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316814)

Microsoft is a bad buy simply because they have little room left to grow. Buying Apple three years ago was a smart move much along the lines of buying Microsoft shares in the late-80s.

Re:Unbelievable (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316842)

I agree.

Microsoft is either working hard on their green stuff [buydutchseeds.com] or they just are pathetic :)

Re:Unbelievable (5, Insightful)

0x461FAB0BD7D2 (812236) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316849)

Copying and assimilating software and companies has worked for them so far. Why should they start innovating?

Every marketing dept knows that innovation means risk. Risk could mean loss, and at a time that Linux and Mac OS X are on the rise, it's a risk they can't afford to take. So they're going with what's tried and tested.

They have a strangle-hold on the desktop market. They just need to make sure people don't switch to other OSes by offering them just enough.

Interestingly, their motto might as well have been "It's just enough". At least it's original.

It just won't work (4, Funny)

s1283134 (660354) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316636)

If there was truth in advertising.

Re:It just won't work (5, Funny)

tomhudson (43916) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316702)

Worse, they're now "featuring" an problem from way back in the DOS days - cross-linked files in corrupt directories:
he ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously
If you can't fix it, feature it.

Seriously, is it THAT hard to get people to understand symlinks?

Re:It just won't work (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316732)

To be fair, microsoft has symlinks already, they are just called shortcuts. What they are talking about here is hard links, which unix has been doing for decades also.

Re:It just won't work (0, Flamebait)

tomhudson (43916) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316777)

Then there's this:
Longhorn doesn't just show you an icon for a document, for example, but rather an itsy-bitsy picture of the first page.
Gee whiz, nice to know that eventually Windows users will be getting some of the desktop features linux users already have. Soon Windows may even be ready for the desktop (not MY desktop, but maybe someone's, preferably someone I don't like).

Just works.... they way they tell you it should. (5, Insightful)

ivan256 (17499) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316639)

If you put in a DVD, the volume will automatically adjust and the video will just start playing full screen. "You shouldn't have to spend a lot of time struggling with things," Allchin said

How long will I have to struggle with it to figure out how to turn that off?

Re:Just works.... they way they tell you it should (5, Insightful)

Teddy Beartuzzi (727169) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316687)

No kidding. I hate automatic stuff. Don't move my frickin' icons, I put them there for a reason. Don't hide those menu commands, I like to know what my options are. Don't hide the programs that are running...

Re:Just works.... they way they tell you it should (1)

Blue-Footed Boobie (799209) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316784)

Not to mention having your files in multiple "folders" (they are Directories, dang-nabbit!!) is a nasty idea. I don't care what OS it is.

Re:Just works.... they way they tell you it should (3, Interesting)

prefect42 (141309) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316853)

I think the OS *should* support hard linking though. If I really want to organise my files that way, so be it. Same way I'd rather windows defaulted to symbolic linking rather than shortcuts.

Re:Just works.... they way they tell you it should (1)

Shkuey (609361) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316874)

This is a good example of Microsoft making products for the lowest common denominator.

Frankly, it is a good thing in their home products. Many of my friends call me to ask how to do ridiculously simple things as make a DVD play full screen.

Where I take issue with this is in their professional products. When I buy XP home I expect handholding, but when I buy XP Professional I want the OS to assume I know what I'm doing and disable by default most (all?) of these annoying features.

sorta (4, Funny)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316640)

"It mostly kinda sorta works."

or

"Eventually, when Longhorn ships, it may actually work."

So yeah, don't buy anything else until then, cuz that wouldn't make sense!

or... (4, Funny)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316686)

"It just works as designed." (you poor bastard)

Re:sorta (1)

doc_pez (878235) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316826)

The still sell Microsoft Works? What version is it up to now?

Sounds like (-1, Flamebait)

nurb432 (527695) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316642)

FreeBSD and OSX.

They both 'just work'..

Nothing new really (3, Interesting)

Synli (781075) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316643)

such as auto-defragmenting in the background

Windows XP auto-defragment as well (if enabled).

Re:Nothing new really (1)

Bob MacSlack (623914) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316725)

Are you sure that's not the commercial defrag program? I've never seen that option in the basic xp install.

Re:Nothing new really (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316778)

Well, he said "if enabled". Everyone knows "enabling" Windows to do something useful is $29.99 per feature.

Well I gotta say (5, Funny)

paranode (671698) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316644)

That's definitely a step up from the Linux mantra: "RTFM noob".

:)

Re:Well I gotta say (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316738)

That's definitely a step up from the Linux mantra: "RTFM noob"

This got a Funny 4 rating?! I can't imagine why, since that's exactly how I've been treated.

Re:Well I gotta say (2, Funny)

jaydonnell (648194) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316797)

"This got a Funny 4 rating?! I can't imagine why, since that's exactly how I've been treated." That IS why :)

Re:Well I gotta say (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316867)

While I do see the humor in it, I would think that Linux advocates who want people to switch to it would give more friendly encouragement and help.

Pressure (2, Insightful)

CallFinalClass (801589) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316645)

So, they're feeling pressure from MacOS X. Good. Very good.

Re:Pressure (1)

Procrastin8er (791570) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316751)

Somehow I find that a little hard to believe. They want you to think that, so they can create the appearance that they are not a monopoly.

Typos (4, Funny)

dauthur (828910) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316653)

Oops. I think someone had on Dvorak or something when typing "crashes".

Advertising (3, Informative)

thegamerformelyknown (868463) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316655)

From what I understand, the advertising campaign Microsoft is launching (it's quite large too) has absolutly nothing to do with Longhorn. They are simply addressing XP.

wtf?? (4, Funny)

macaulay805 (823467) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316657)

the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously

Finally, a windows eq to ln -sf!

Re:wtf?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316717)

Indeed, only with two decades delay.

Re:wtf?? (1)

sinfree (859988) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316756)

That actually sounds a little scary. Isn't that what shortcuts are already?

Oh cool (1)

Shut the fuck up! (572058) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316660)

Aliases! Symlinks!

Alternative slogans... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316663)

'It works, just' - any others? :D

It Just Works (5, Interesting)

grahamlee (522375) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316664)

Or, It Already Works For Someone Else So We'll Pinch It:

auto-defragmenting in the background HFS+

ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously symlinks, Smart Folders

the new ad campaign Microsoft is running to get people excited about Windows Maybe that does indeed Just Work. No-one ever got fired for choosing a Microsoft (although there are places where that's beginning to change).

Re:It Just Works (1)

emidln (806452) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316779)

No, but a guy at my work was laughed at. We still screw with him for suggesting that we base our new micro software on wince. Heh, that shit wouldn't even fit in our RAM, let alone the cost of licensing it. Plus, I don't even think it is certified for automotive applications.*

*I may very well be wrong on that last regard. Too lazy to google.

Re:It Just Works (1)

danheskett (178529) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316830)

Too large for the RAM? I have about 50 embedded devices running WinCE that clock in under 300kb.

files in more than one dir at once (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316667)

wow! microsoft discovered hard links! And I bet they'll market it as amazing new technology!

wha~? (2, Funny)

blew_fantom (809889) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316668)

waitaminnit... isn't this apple's mantra??? apple = microsoft??? *gasp* bill gates = steve jobs??? OMG! the sky is falling! the sky is falling!!!

It just works... (2, Funny)

lilmouse (310335) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316670)

and if you can figure out what the h*ll it's done, then you're ahead of the game! If you can undo it, then you'll be ...a god.

--LWM

I laughed, I cried... (4, Insightful)

Upaut (670171) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316672)

Reading this article, it does have its moments to consider: Allchin, a wiry-built 54-year-old who has been in charge of Windows for almost a decade, is admirably blunt about his own frustrations using the current operating system. It annoys him, for example, that the adjustments necessary to move a laptop from a work to a home network aren't obvious. Longhorn, he said, will make that process easy, along with many other common tasks. If you want a Longhorn machine to automatically configure itself so you can work in a coffee shop, it will. If you put in a DVD, the volume will automatically adjust and the video will just start playing full screen. "You shouldn't have to spend a lot of time struggling with things," Allchin said, adding that the number one design goal for Longhorn has been: "It just works."

Funny, my Powerbook G4 has been doing this for years. I guess Microsoft will be downplaying that a bit further down...

Much has been made in the computer press recently of the surprising similarities between Longhorn and Apple's upcoming new Macintosh operating system, Tiger. (See Peter Lewis's recent column, Apple's 'Tiger' to Stalk Rivals April 29.) The bottom line is that both will make finding items in our ever-increasing digital stores of information and entertainment much easier. Longhorn doesn't just show you an icon for a document, for example, but rather an itsy-bitsy picture of the first page. If you have a really good monitor--and eyesight--you could even read the numbers in that spreadsheet. You also will be able to put files simultaneously in different folders, and find the one you want with much more ease than you can today. Microsoft's research shows that the average corporate employee spends about 20% of her time on the PC simply looking for items. "We're trying to go beyond search into what we call 'visualization and organization,'" said Allchin

Right. I got Panther to do this with a little tweaking, and from what I read, Tiger may be doing something similar. Talk about innovation...

For all the advances that Microsoft and other computer companies have made in recent years, and despite the fact that PCs are central to many of our lives, it's still hard to use them. So it was reassuring to hear the main guy responsible for making their software predict that the situation will improve soon. I hope that he's right when he says that future systems will "just work."

Great. Fantastic. *Applause* But I don't trust it. I've heard this before. Until I see some increased security before they attempt to make their UI as beautiful as Mac OS X, I'm not even going to bother giving them the time of day.

Microsoft's 'innovation'... (1)

mojoNYC (595906) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316825)

will be to bring the features that Mac users have been using for years to the 730 million Windows dupes, er, users worldwide!

didn't they do the same thing with 'Plug and Play' a few years back?

Re:I laughed, I cried... (1)

emidln (806452) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316841)

""Much has been made in the computer press recently of the surprising similarities between Longhorn and Apple's upcoming new Macintosh operating system, Tiger. (See Peter Lewis's recent column, Apple's 'Tiger' to Stalk Rivals April 29.) The bottom line is that both will make finding items in our ever-increasing digital stores of information and entertainment much easier. Longhorn doesn't just show you an icon for a document, for example, but rather an itsy-bitsy picture of the first page. If you have a really good monitor--and eyesight--you could even read the numbers in that spreadsheet. You also will be able to put files simultaneously in different folders, and find the one you want with much more ease than you can today. Microsoft's research shows that the average corporate employee spends about 20% of her time on the PC simply looking for items. "We're trying to go beyond search into what we call 'visualization and organization,'" said Allchin""
"Right. I got Panther to do this with a little tweaking, and from what I read, Tiger may be doing something similar. Talk about innovation..."
You know, KDE has done this for a long time too. Is Apple ripping off KDE and in turn being ripped off by MS? Noooo!

It Just Barely Works. (4, Funny)

Spankophile (78098) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316675)

Or maybe:

I Just Works.
Barely.

Re:It Just Barely Works. (4, Funny)

PaxTech (103481) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316803)

The motto should be : "It Just Wroks." Then a few years later they can issue a patch.

Welcome to Microsoft, where nothing can possiblaye go wrong.

It Just Reboots (3, Informative)

millermj (762822) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316680)

...or if you prefer, it just crashes.

I've got too much experience with Windows to consider it for an enterprise environment.

In other words... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316681)

...it just works the way Microsoft wants it to...

OT: How to be l33t (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316683)

OT, but interesting, considering the subject matter.

1. What is l33t?

l33t means elite, the "best of the best". For some people, the n00bs, l33t and n00b means nothing. If you do not understand n00b and l33t, you are a n00b. n00bs are not allowed to read this page, go away!

2. Being l33t

l33t is all about pretending to be superior even though the obvious truth is that you are a geek who will probably never get a date. l33t people are not easy to spot, because they are never outside. Night after night they sit in front of their b0xen doing hacking and phreaking and most importantly coding, and this is the reason they sleep all day.
3. How to be l33t

* Learn what eggdrop is and how to use it. You need lots of eggdrops.
* The more shells you have, legal or not, the more l33t you become. All those shells should be used for running lots and lots of eggdrops. Also, shells can be used to hide your IP and identity when hacking the pentagon and d dosing RIAAs web server, both popular l33t activities.
* Why do you need eggdrops? Don't ask.
* You should be connected to four irc servers at all times. On irc, you should
o Say "heh" a lot
o Leet peope don't say lawl, roffle, roffluhmao or guh guh
o Additionally they don't say stoofoo thux or kuhpluhz
* x86 is not enough. You need to use more than an x86 processor. dse

4. l33t food

What you eat when no one is looking is totally unimportant. What is very important, is that your workspace, wherever it may be, is filled with empty pizza boxes and empty bottles that previously contained something with lots and lots of caffeine.

that is not my work station btw

5. l33t terms

To really become l33t, you need to learn and understand the l33t language.

* box: Every computer is a box. Your computer is not a "Pentium" or a "Dell" or anything like that. It's simply a box. Like the eggdrops, you need lots and lots of b0xen. Why, when you are the only one who will be using them and you only got two arms and eyes? It's obvious. The more boxen, the more l33t.
* OS: Your favorite OS is Free BSD, even if you are using some Linux flavor. Saying things like "I prefer Gentoo Linux on my desktop but use Free BSD on my server" is good. Saying "I only use Windows to play games but I'm really a Linux fan" is very stupid and bad and will make everyone call you a n00b forever.
* pr0n: what you watch on your 21 inch display while you jerk your 2.1 inch pecker, for the most l33t this is the most exercise you will get all day
* 0wned:
1. what happens to n00bs, RSA, DOD and the RIAA's "b0xen", for the l33t the physical equivalent of this is being anally assaulted with pine combs
2. what you do to windows and lindows b0xen
3. what is bound to happen sooner rather than later if you are using Internet Explorer
* b0xen: plural of box .. see above
* fork bomb: code or commands you should be aware of but never ever execute because they will totally lock your system. Tempt n00bs (but never recommend) to run things like :() { :|: & } ; :.
* whore:
o foo> anyone have ebooks on php with mysql?
o bar> Sams.Teach.Yourself.PHP.MySQL.And.Apache.In.24Hour s.eBook-LiB, Premier.Press.PHP.Fast.And.Easy.Web.Development.2n d.Edition.eBook-LiB, MASTERING.PHP.5-JGTiSO
o foo> bar: could i whore it?
o bar> sure
o walmart> whore it
o walmart> hahahhah
* r00ted (badly mis-spelled rewted), refer to 0wned.

6. Your Internet Connection

All the boxen you administrate use IPv6 only, but are still able to access the old Internet through a IPv6 to IPv4 proxy running on your firewall(s). This is done by using Trick Or Treat Daemon (DNS proxy for 6to4) and Portable Transport Relay Translator Daemon (enables connections between your internal IPv6 hosts and the outside IPv4 world).

7. l33t programs

On your quest for l33t-dom, you must learn everything about the following programs:

* BNC (BouNCe) is used as a gateway between you and your IRC Server. psyBNC is a popular BNC. You need this for two apparent reasons:
1. You can present yourself as linda19@sex.is.only.onestepcloser.org on #teenchat and talk about your dark secrets using thisis@fake.info.tm.
2. evil bastards can not trace your local IP. They can, however, pressure your shell provider to rat on you.
* Eggdrop An IRC bot extensible with C or Tcl.
* Screen (manual page) is a full-screen window manager that multiplexes a physical terminal between several processes. This means you can ssh login to a remote computer, start screen, start a process (like the irc client irssi), detach screen and logout. The process continues to run and you can log back in later from any location and reattach the screen.
* tcpdump (manual page) A Tool for network monitoring and data acquisition
* nmap (manual page) A tool for scanning RIAAs webservers for open ports. Can also be used to check your own security.
* iptables (manual page) & ip6tables (manual page) to protect yourself against evil people

You should be running the latest, no, upcoming versions of all software, all with a ton of special fancy patches you claim will give you a very important advantage when it comes to increaseing your shareholder value.

Your kernel is 2.6.45-test22-prerelease or similar.

7.1. Required Gentoo Programs

Gentoo users should have atleast these programs installed:

emerge gentoolkit genlop ufed mirrorselect screen tcpdump nmap

8. News sources

You must read:

* LinuxReviews Newswatch
* Slashdot.org
* The Register .. and atleast 5 blogs.

9. The Desktop

You don't need a desktop. Your environment should be a plain old shell on vt1. You consider "GUI" over-rated. Since you are so good at configuring your kernel you have frame buffer support for your new graphics card using a patch googled up from some dark cellar. You play your movies with mplayer and music with mpg321.

Your IRL desktop should have LOTS of monitors even though they are all running CLI.

10. The Server

Your servers definitely should not have any desktop or X or at all remotely GUI or user-friendly software installed at all. In fact, all servers should be headless (=no monitor). Your server should only be connected to power and as many Ethernet cables as possible, simply drop silly gadgets like keyboard and mouse.

The servers are running Free BSD. Even if you are using Debian or Gentoo or some other Linux distribution you should tell people you are using Free BSD. Remote users can't tell the difference anyway.

11. Am I the most l33t person out there?

No, you are NOT. nux is. And lude. Again: Not you. You are nothing but a phony n00b.

* lude: not if you intend to rotate them on a regular basis as well... for 25 servers and 80 workstations ;)
* You are talking to the wrong hombre
* * lude admins 40 switches and 950 servers

Other acknowledged leet people include invisible evil, mina, BigJoe, thrasher7, kitchen, ShALLaX, ivern and andi. Again: Not YOU (unless you read your nick during the last 10 seconds).

To finish up your leet lesson, please read The Counter-Strike Bible
12. When can I brag to my friends that I'm le3t?

Never. The truly l33t would never say it or even consider themselves as l33t. You are 1337 when people, without being asked or bothered about it, tells you that you are.

time to update my list (5, Funny)

FidelCatsro (861135) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316684)

So far we have
Free as in costs money
Advantage as in same later
and open as in closed

We have a new entry
It just works as in windows.
Quite inkeeping with the rest of the publicity statments i belive

Rephrasing (4, Insightful)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316690)

Longhorn doesn't just show you an icon for a document, for example, but rather an itsy-bitsy picture of the first page.

konqueror has done this for a while... I'm not terribly versed in GUI file managers for X, but I'd presume that other programs do it as well... I guess their new mantra is just a reincarnation of their old mantra "Steal other people's ideas and then charge for it!"

Rather than running just on computers that process 32 bits of data at a time, the new version will run on chips that process 64 bits.

To rephrase: "Windows will finally catch up to the rest of the world and be compatible with emerging technology, a practice that Microsoft is loathe to indulge in (see Internet Explorer)."

"If it's got arithmetic logic on it, then I think our software should be targeting it"

Another rephrasing: "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile." - Jim Allchin, addressing my TI-86.

Re:Rephrasing (1)

the_2nd_coming (444906) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316840)

Rather than running just on computers that process 32 bits of data at a time, the new version will run on chips that process 64 bits.

a more appropriate rephrasing:

"We know there is no benefit to the home user but we want to sound better"

Re:Rephrasing (3, Interesting)

TCM (130219) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316860)

Longhorn doesn't just show you an icon for a document, for example, but rather an itsy-bitsy picture of the first page.

Is it just me or does anyone else see a whole new can of worms (heh) open up here? So by default all files are processed by some code even if you just want to see what files are there? Great.

It Just Works ... (1)

phoric (833867) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316694)

... except when it doesn't. Or, 'it just works' when we come out with service pack 38 in a couple years.

Is it April 1st again? (2, Funny)

sinfree (859988) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316697)

First we hear that the Opera CEO is going to swim the ocean... and now that Microsoft will "just work." What's next?

Re:Is it April 1st again? (0, Offtopic)

ettlz (639203) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316846)

SCO want a hearing with Judge Judy.

It Just (Barely) Works (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316703)

Ok, there's more than one interpretation.

Too much to hope for (1)

whackco (599646) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316704)

But I was really hoping that Longhorn would be the real revolution to how the graphic interaction is played out between the user and computer.

I was really hoping for a 3D desktop environment and draw option built into longhorn. I know there are 3rd party tools, but to build it right into the foundation for speed etc would be cool.

I'm just tired of staring at a 1D LCD environment... I was submersive damn it! and a flying car...

Re:Too much to hope for (1)

the_2nd_coming (444906) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316792)

first off, an lcd is 2 dimensional.

second, Enlightenment started the OGL driven desktop and OS X made it usable. Longhorn will take it perhaps a step further than tiger, but as of right now I do not see that, I see Tiger having a full 3d accelerated and gfx card composited GUI. MS defiantly has some different flash with it (turning windows to the side is cool and all, but needed? but OS X and E are where the revolution happened. MS is playing catch up.

Re:Too much to hope for (1)

whackco (599646) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316857)

I was actually hoping for something closer to a very refined version of SphereXP desktop.

But VERY refined....

Re:Too much to hope for (2, Funny)

thegameiam (671961) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316865)

You have a 1D LCD? is it tall or wide? ;)

-David

That's a dangerous mantra to spout (1)

yorgasor (109984) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316705)

I can just see this blowing up in their face, just like Unbreakable Oracle. It should be fun to watch.

Re:That's a dangerous mantra to spout (1)

CrackedButter (646746) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316839)


Yes it is fun, its like watching the bit in Fight Club where Jack realises he is Tyler Durden. Tyler does everything Jack wants to do and more but won't handle the responsibilty himself until the end. Apple is Tyler Durden and Jack is Microsoft.
So when Microsoft realise they are Apple its because they have no identity and simply do what they really hope to do in their R n' D powerhouse, erm excuse me, I mean Apple!
My metaphors suck but what the hell!

"new features" (1)

shadowzero313 (827228) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316708)

You can see the contents of a file without opening it! I can right now, thanks to switching from windows to archlinux. Plus it was free, as opposed to the "free" upgrade to longhorn if I was still running windows.

Re:"new features" (1)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316786)

arch rocks =]

Now I've seen it all. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316713)

"It just sucks" would probably be more accurate.


Still, Kudos to the Microsoft Marketing team - it seems you CAN polish a turd!!! LOL ROFL etc


I'm getting a "long horn" for longhorn already!

Re:Now I've seen it all. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316873)

You haters just can't stand the fact that your precious Linux can never compete with the true hackers at Microsoft.


Fact is, people still use Windows (and pay for it) even though Linux is free. Hell, if you can't even give it away surely its time to give up and go home.

Software patents... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316715)

the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously

Now, if Google were evil, they'd have patented the 'labels' feature of Gmail, and would sue Microsoft for copying that feature here.

More likely, although Google came out with it first, Microsoft will probably get a silly patent for this instead, in spite of the prior art of ln, Gmail labels, etc. ...

The actual motto (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316723)

It Just Sucks.

File in more than one folder at once? (4, Funny)

pmbuko (162438) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316726)

>ln /foo/bar/say_it_aint_so ~/say_it_aint_so

"It just works" on other OSes already (1)

imnoteddy (568836) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316733)

Jim Allchin details various planned Longhorn features to meet this goal, such as auto-defragmenting in the background

Like OS X already does.

the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously

Like the symbolic links every flavor of UNIX has had for about 30 years.

an astute comment from reader of TFA (5, Interesting)

yagu (721525) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316734)

For those who don't read beyond the end of TFA... a great quote (with attribution): First, from TFA a quote from Allchin re the current state of affairs in XP vs. what Longhorn "will" deliver: Allchin: Microsoft's research shows that the average corporate employee spends about 20% of her time on the PC simply looking for items. Then, the comment from a reader: Rod Shuffler 04/22 10:55 An interesting article. Does that 20% non-productivity figure that Allchin quotes get factored into TCO arguments?

New feature? (5, Funny)

minotaurcomputing (775084) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316736)

"the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously"

Is it just me.. or do all OSes do this? I have thousands of files, all in different places, all at the same time... right now.

-m

i can see .. (1)

demon411 (827680) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316739)

i can see all the spoofs with "it just doesn't work" with pcitures of bsod. My guess is we'll see SP12 with longhorn with all the fixes they'll need to put in it.

What about... (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316748)

So they realized the just couldn't pull off the security thing, and have decided to move in another direction?

Defragmenting "just works"? (2, Informative)

base_chakra (230686) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316752)

Jim Allchin details various planned Longhorn features to meet this goal, such as auto-defragmenting in the background

Here's something that works: implementing a file system that doesn't require constant defragmentation [namesys.com] .

spyware (4, Funny)

Electric Eye (5518) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316755)

*raises hand*

Gates: "Yes. You there with your hand up."

Me: "Mr. Ballmer? Mr. Gates? What about spyware and virii on the Longhorn platform?"

Bill: "As our slogan says, 'It just works!'"

Me: "Oh."

Misclassified article... (1)

gmuslera (3436) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316757)

.. with that title, i would tried to post it under "Is funny, laugh" category.... or correct a bit that mantra, addint to "It just works... " things like "for ten minutes", "until spyware/virus/etc decides otherwise" "as doorstopper" "as a blue background" and things like that.

Well, is a mantra, nirvana is not so far, paradise is close to it, and then we reach the final meaning of that phrase: "is a miracle if It Just Works"

defragging in the background??? (4, Interesting)

advocate_one (662832) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316760)

how about having a filesystem that doesn't suffer from fragmentation in the first place so you don't have to waste processor cycles defragging it!!!!!!!

Trojans, Viruses, hacks.. (1)

E IS mC(Square) (721736) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316767)

well, they all will not have to be modified much from Windows xyz to Longhorn..

They will "just work"..

It just works, if... (2, Funny)

EnronHaliburton2004 (815366) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316771)

If it will 'just work' in the future, we would see some of the 'just working' in Windows XP.

But noo....

But sometime you need to scroll down a list, no... the other list. Yeah, that one. Select 'properties'-- what? No, right click on the icon, and select 'properties'. And then... no wait it's not here. Click 'cancel'. Ok, now click 'cancel' again. Now, hit the 'x' in the upper right hand corner of the screen.

Now go to "start: settings: Control Panel", click on "Users Accounts", click on "change account", click on your username. What? No, I don't know why they have a .NET password in here. Yeah, it has something to do with that "Windows Messenger" that keeps poping up in then system tray. Now click on 'Change my name", and then change your name.

Sometimes it just works.

They have a right to say it, but... (1)

SeventyBang (858415) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316773)

...only if it's working first. And we know the track record. Wasn't there a story the other day about Microsoft licensing beta software [and making that acceptable]?

This is starting to sound like the MMORPG business. which have no qualms about putting a box on the store shelves and continuing to work, making "patches" (of several hundred MB) available when people start connecting.
And these bozos are raking money in, hand-over-fist. No one can begrudge someone success like Evercrack [sic], but when they're raking in the money, you'd think they'd put the boxes on the shelves for free. Just like drug dealers, the first one is free.
"Does it work?" has been the line of demarcation and "work" has a definition which changes every time the direction of the wind changes.

And as the old .sig goes: "The day Microsoft makes something which doesn't suck is the day they make vacuum cleaners."

hey, wait a minnit! (2, Insightful)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316781)

Doesn't this imply that "it" doesn't yet work? That's the same thing as saying it's broken, right?

Counter-Productive (1)

XMetal2001 (850766) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316787)

This is the "mantra" that drives me crazy...I don't want things to just work, Because my, Microsoft's, my neighbor's, and your opinion of working are all probably very different. Just working means I have to spend a lot of time "un-working" things.

numbers (1)

swilde23 (874551) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316789)

smugly pointed out that the number of copies of Windows sold this year will be more than all the Macintosh computers used worldwide

I think he meant to say "the number of security patches"...

But seriously though, if M$ has done their homework then there is a possiblity that they could get a number of things right. They didn't get as big as they are by consistently putting out bad software. Eventually people would have caught on if all of it had been crap.

This should have the desktop-linux folks worried (1)

grasshoppa (657393) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316790)

Shit that just works? That's revolutionary in the computer industry, software in particular.

Honestly, I'm thinking the linux desktop is dead in the water ( remember folks, you heard it here first! ). We may have a decent linux desktop take over the world someday, but I doubt it's anytime soon.

If MS *CAN* just make it work, and keep it secure, then they'll be one step closer to having me as a backer.

Linux already does this (0)

MobyTurbo (537363) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316808)

"Auto-defragmenting in the background"

Come on Microsoft, make a filesystem that doesn't need defragmenting like *nix.

"File in more than one folder simultaneously"

Symlinks or hardlinks, finally. Welcome to the '80s.

Ad campaign

Well, luckily IBM has conducted a pro-Linux campaign, but, unlike Windows, Linux doesn't need an ad campaign to suceeed.

better slogan (3, Funny)

ch-chuck (9622) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316813)

From just reading the register a few minutes ago, the slogan, "70 Percent Fewer Reboots" sounded pretty good to me.

It does work... (2, Insightful)

Dethboy (136650) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316820)

Until it blows up. Or your software contract expires. Or we decide it's time to 'upgrade'.

Then you are on your own.

you'll never even notice it... (2, Funny)

fanblade (863089) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316833)

From TFA: "Which means, for example, Longhorn will automatically clean up, or "defragment," your hard drive, if it is required. You won't even know it's happening."

So you mean Longhorn is going to make the incessant ticking and whirring of my hard drive less annoying? I seriously doubt it.

Compatibility (2, Funny)

demon411 (827680) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316834)

Well I am hoping all the win 9x/2k/xp software I use now will work on longhorn. Like will IE 7.0 be compatible with all the spyware I have for IE 6?

The scary part (1)

notext (461158) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316838)

to me is the fact that all these people have trouble finding files. I could understand once in a very long while needing to use a search to find something but these people who are spending 20% of their time finding stuff is crazy talk.

And if you're using firefox... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316863)

the $%*$ article Just Doesn't. Can we say 'microsoft patsy'?

Great Job Advertising (4, Interesting)

geomon (78680) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316868)

For Apple.

They have done more to market for Apple in the last few weeks than they realize (or maybe they do realized).

Every comparison of features is with something already released under the current OS X, or is a feature that will be in the next release of OS X (slated soon?).

I guess I don't get what Microsoft's strategy is for this campaign. Is this the Microsoft "Me Too" campaign?

I would love to see the sales numbers for the next OS X release. We could see some increase in sales due to Microsoft owners realizing that there is another OS in the market that works at least as well, if not better, than XP.

Maybe Gates owns a bunch of Apple stock and is hedging his bets.

This is a 'Good Thing' (5, Interesting)

RobRancho (569680) | more than 9 years ago | (#12316876)

In reality, as cute as it may be to point out the 'imitation' going on here, it might be better to look at the renewed (finally!) competition taking place. For years, Microsoft has been relatively reluctant to do any serious innovation in OS development, instead focusing on the issues that were generating the most complaints. Think about it, from Windows 95 through Windows XP, what major innovations have been introduced?

Now, however, that Mac OS has been making big strides and an ever increasing number of people have started to look at it as a viable alternative (even in my small-business workplace!), Microsoft has seemingly started to take the competition seriously. This is a Good Thing!

Competition always benefits the consumer, and prior to the last couple years, there *was no competition* in the desktop OS category.

Mantras (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12316879)

"Fortune has a story about Microsoft's new philosophy--'It just works.'

My mantra... 'no it doesn't'

Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?