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691 comments

Wet Cement (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541064)

Cause it would stick to every key.

Some times it's a real shame. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541124)

For a subject like this, I'm almost rooting for the GNAA trolls to get here first. Because, "Jiz" really was the non-linear solution many were no doubt hoping for.

Re:Wet Cement (5, Funny)

jcuervo (715139) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541150)

Which one's the Every key?

Re:Wet Cement (5, Funny)

hwoolery (443338) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541173)

Hand lotion... oh wait, things we were eating near the keyboard. What, like you haven't done any one-handed surfing lately?!?

Ramen (4, Funny)

TheKidWho (705796) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541065)

Ramen is bad to eat over a keyboard... poor poor keyboard. At least it tastes like spicy chicken!

Re:Ramen (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541190)

God, you're such a disgusting brown-nosing lamer.

first (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541066)

first

Pamela Jones EXPOSED (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541067)

Exclusive: Who Is 'PJ' Pamela Jones of Groklaw.Net?

Pamela Is A 61-Year-Old Jehovah's Witness Who Lives In A Shabby Genteel Garden Apartment In Hartsdale, New York

By: Maureen O'Gara
May 7, 2005 09:15 PM

A few weeks ago I went looking for the elusive harridan who supposedly writes the Groklaw blog about the SCO v IBM suit.

The now-famous opinion-shaping open source leader Pamela Jones, aka "PJ," doesn't give conventional face-to-face interviews. Never has, near as anyone knows. All communication is virtual. Only one person in the world has ever claimed to have met her - in the pressroom at LinuxWorld in Boston complete with a Pamela Jones badge - and described her as a fortyish reddish-blonde who giggled a lot.

[Photo: May 7, 2005 12:37 PM - 304 North Central Avenue, Hartsdale, New York. The last known address of Pamela Jones, as the superintendent of the building calls it, Ms. Pam Jones.]

Oh yeah? Wonder what cold crème she uses.

Pamela Jones is a 61-year-old Jehovah's Witness who lives in a shabby genteel garden apartment in desperate need of an interior decorator on a heavily trafficked commercial road at 304 North Central Avenue in Hartsdale, New York. Hartsdale is in Westchester and Westchester is IBM territory.

See, even though Groklaw treats cell phones like they were Kleenex and changes its unpublished numbers regularly, one number it left with a journalist led to this flat and - wouldn't you know it but - some calls from there had been placed to the courts in Utah and to the Canopy Group so obviously this just isn't any Pamela Jones.

Pamela has lived in apartment 1A for 10 years at least, according to the super, who says he's watched people move in, have children, and the children marry and move away.

Now, this isn't your usual anonymous New York apartment. It's practically a self-contained village where the super goes for the old ladies' groceries when there's snow on the ground and people know each other's business.

[Photo: May 7, 2005 12:41 PM - 304 North Central Avenue, Hartsdale, New York. The last known address of Pamela Jones.]

But the super didn't know much about Pamela except that she had a computer, worked at home (maybe sometimes) for a lawyer, was "paranoid" - his word - and "sensitive to smells."

He remembered how he was cleaning paintbrushes one day and she came running down the stairs screaming "Fire."

She was also missing and had been for weeks.

Nobody there knew where she was.

She had up and disappeared one day, and the super was worried about her. He said her son had dropped by and he didn't know where she was, and that some strange man that "nobody knew," as the super described him, had tried to get into her apartment while she was gone - the Medeco lock she had had installed on her door - something nobody else in the complex seemed to feel a need for - was more expensive than the door. But, as it happened, the super said, she had just sent in her rent in an envelope postmarked Connecticut.

Like an episode out of "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego," the trail led to 10 Bittersweet Trail in Norwalk, Connecticut, 24 miles away. Sure enough, parked in the driveway was Pamela's car, just as the super had described it, a dark gray '90s Japanese number with a bunch of Jehovah Witness pamphlets tossed on the backseat.

The woman at the house, Barbara Jones Sharnik, told a disjointed story. She didn't know Pamela, Pamela hated her, Pamela wasn't there, Pamela left her car there because it got bumped, Pamela left her car there because she left town, and so on.

Afterwards Barbara called the cops, and then the cops called the number we left with her and the cops said that she was Pamela's mother and that Pamela was on the run and had shacked up with her mother because she had gotten "threatening mail" weeks before and that she had just gotten spooked again because "people were getting hurt around [my] stories" and had lighted out for Canada.

[Photo: May 7, 2005 2:24 PM - 10 Bittersweet Trail in Norwalk, Connecticut. Mom's house, where PJ's car was last seen on this driveway.]

Odd, the subject of my stories - or any stories - never came up during our brief interview. I was just looking for Pamela.

That left Pamela's son, Nicolas Richards, who, as it happens, had been in the software business in Manhattan until - why, my goodness - things seem to have come a cropper right around the time Groklaw came into existence.

Nick and his ma were apparently involved together in Medabiliti Inc, an ISV, because one Pamela Jones with a Westchester phone number (914 761-7423) and a Medabiliti e-mail (pjones@medabiliti.com) was down as the director of public affairs on a Medabiliti press release dated April 14, 2003.

Nick, as it happens, has written under his own byline on a Groklaw sister site, GrokDoc, giving advice on technical writing. Nick and his wife Andrea live in fancier digs than his ma on East 76th Street off First Avenue, a neighborhood where apartments go for a couple of million bucks.

Now, according to one of Pamela's neighbors and fellow Jehovah's Witness, being a Jehovah's Witness is pretty much a full-time job in and of itself. Witnesses also don't usually get involved in worldly affairs.

So, is this story-spooked 61-year-old Jehovah's Witness with religious tracts in her backseat also the 90-hour-a-week writer of the voluminous PJ diatribes or is she a victim of identity theft?

TO BE CONTINUED...

In-N-Out Burger!!!!! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541068)

I would say the In-N-Out 16 x 16 burger would be no fun over a keyboard: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/TexasBurger Guy/InNOut/inout_big.jpg [photobucket.com] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/TexasBurger Guy/InNOut/inoutreceipt_big.jpg [photobucket.com]

Re:In-N-Out Burger!!!!! (1)

artifex2004 (766107) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541143)

I would say the In-N-Out 16 x 16 burger would be no fun over a keyboard: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/TexasBurger Guy/InNOut/inout_big.jpg [photobucket.com] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/TexasBurger Guy/InNOut/inoutreceipt_big.jpg [photobucket.com]


He forgot to make it animal style, so he could get the whole thing cooked with mustard, then have pickles, more spread, and grilled onions all over it. I can't imagine not ordering it animal style, unless you also wanted it to be protein style or flying dutchman style, either of which would be too messy of a combo.

Vended Hot Chocolate (1)

jobsagoodun (669748) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541071)

I killed a laptop with this - not on the keyboard, but knocked the cup over on the desk and capiliary action sucked it up through the little vent holes where it set to work on dissolving the tracks on the MB quicker than I could yank the battery out.

You live and learn!

Re:Vended Hot Chocolate (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541175)

You live and learn!

Well, you live anyway.

Worst food? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541072)

My mother's cooking. Worst. Food. Evar.

Re:Worst food? (1)

eclectro (227083) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541195)

How could you say that about mommy?! My mom could cook a brick and I would be grateful.

Hot Grits (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541073)

(nt)

Cheetos! (4, Funny)

carlivar (119811) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541074)

Cheetos!

Orange fingers + keyboard = orange keyboard.

It's not recommended to lick off the orange powder from your fingers either since that makes your keyboard full of either saliva (best case) or an orange paste (if you do a poor job licking).

Re:Cheetos! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541100)

You should have saved this comment for you -1 troll account. It's going to shoot jump on +5 insightful like Paula Abdul on fresh meat.

Slow news day? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541075)

Slow news day

CowboyNeal... (5, Funny)

aendeuryu (844048) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541076)

This should be a poll.

Worst option: Cowboyneal.
Best option: Breasts!

Spilling breasts on a keyboard? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541099)

Sounds like it would be really hard to type like that.

Re:CowboyNeal... (4, Funny)

One Childish N00b (780549) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541106)

Breasts are often the worst option to do anything with over a keyboard - the woman they're attached to tends to get pretty pissed you won't quit posting to /. long enough to play with them properly!

it's impossible to eat it without wearing it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541077)

chilli dog with cheese

mmmm.. pancakes and.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541080)

maple syrup.

Easy. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541081)

Boggers. Once you get one of those in there, you gotta open it up and scrub it out.

cheese on crackers (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541082)

you get oily fingers and crumbs in the keyboard

Doritos (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541103)

Like the cheetos comment slightly higher - doritos contain some kind of cement like powder which when combined with the oils on your fingers produce some mild perma dye - I once got this glue like orange substance on the seat of my car (was driving wearing a nice suit and didnt know where else to wipe my hand) the orange stain is still there!... if you eat them over a laptop expect to find bits of them for the next 18 months in the keyboard.

Coke (4, Interesting)

Gribflex (177733) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541083)

Every time I spill Coke on my keyboard (yes, it's happened more than once) I've had to replace the whole thing because the coke at away at the circuitry. When I clean off the soda, the solder and wiring come with it.

Pepsi (4, Funny)

rve (4436) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541130)

I can confirm that Pepsi is at least as good as Coke, possibly better, at ruining keyboards.

Re:Coke (1)

anttik (689060) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541184)

I pick Coke too as it destroyed my fine Logitech keyboard as well after only one small spill, only 0.5 liters. Now I'm using a "hama" keyboard and I hope I'll spill some Coke on it soon so I get a good reason to buy a new one...

Mango's (2, Interesting)

dink353 (747249) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541084)

My vote would definatly be a mango. The stickyness gets everywhere and combined with the fact that they are VERY juicy, you are left with one large sticky mess. Ever spill a nice can of pop on your keyboard? Same thing.

Good fruit though. :)

This is news? (3, Funny)

MrEcho.net (632313) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541085)

This is news? Hell people, just look down for a sec and see for yourself.

Should be obvious: (4, Funny)

jcuervo (715139) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541086)

Spam. :-)

Re:Should be obvious: (1)

One Childish N00b (780549) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541122)

Of course, SPEWS are also pretty bad things to get on a keyboard too - the chunks of carrot gum the keys right up, and the acid does horrible things to the lettering.

1 Litre of Chocolate Soy Milk (1)

Mr. Flibble (12943) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541088)

1 Litre of Chocolate Soy Milk on your keyboard requires a large amount of time in the college chem lab using distilled water to remove the "deposits".

(I used tap water to start, distilled to finish)

Congealed Chocolate Soy Milk is bad. Worse even than how people view it in its un-congealed state.

The letter Q still does not work properly on that keyboard...

Re:1 Litre of Chocolate Soy Milk (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541212)

As a precaution, I have decided never to drink chocolate soy milk, ever.

-B

Without a Doubt (3, Interesting)

under_score (65824) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541091)

Orange Juice is the most insidious. I spilt OJ on my Dell laptop keyboard. Then I took the extreme measure of using water to wash it out (I didn't take the keyboard off the laptop as I didn't know I could). Everything seemed fine for a few months. Then, gradually, one-by-one, keys started to get sticky. Eventually, about eight months laters, my keyboard became unusable and I had to replace it.

Re:Without a Doubt (2)

eobanb (823187) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541159)

I can confirm this. A friend of mine spilled half a can of Sprite into her keyboard. She turned it over and let it dry out, and it seemed fine, but within a couple of weeks the slash key (and a couple other keys) simply went rock solid. I had to put most of my weight on the key to get it to go down. I can't really explain it.

Re:Without a Doubt (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541203)

Or at least, you can confirm that a different product has a different effect, well done.

Re:Without a Doubt (1)

maharg (182366) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541165)

yes, especially freshly squeezed, from the orange you are eating whilst typing !!

Why am I even wasting my time reading this? (0, Troll)

b5turbo (850656) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541094)

They must be running out of topics to right about when they start writing about how food ruins a crappy $15 keyboard...who cares.

Re:Why am I even wasting my time reading this? (5, Interesting)

One Childish N00b (780549) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541186)

Indeed, why are you wasting your time reading this?

Lighten up, it's humour - granted, /. should probably have a Humour section (perhaps with Python-style cartoon banner instead of the usual logo) so you can disable it in your preferences, but personally, I'd much rather read this than another story about RFID, Google or Steve Jobs scratching his ass in a particular way.

You want serious 'News for Nerds'? There's plenty of other stories on the front page - you could try; - NASA's Plans for the Future [slashdot.org] ,
- Open Source Java? [slashdot.org] or even
- ASIMO and Research Celebrated in Brussels [slashdot.org] -
hey, how about that?

Just because you don't want to read it doesn't mean others don't - some of us are slogging through the early hours of cube life and want a little comic relief about how Johnny Slashdotter once destroyed his computer with a kiwi fruit.

Shame on Slashdot for not having a humour section you can block in your Preferences, but shame on you for not only assuming that an article titled The Worst Foods to Eat Over a Keyboard was going to be an accurately-calculated technological critique, but for then wasting even more of your time by bothering to post a comment about "who cares?". I'm here, in a cube-farm, being bored to tears by the most tedious job you can possibly imagine and I'd like to thank /. for bringing a little smile to my Monday morning - trust me, some of us need the humour fix.

Re:Why am I even wasting my time reading this? (5, Insightful)

scoopr (849708) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541226)

How about a $2000 laptop? You wouldn't still care?

feces (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541096)

Feces. Definitely the worst. Impossible to get out. Makes typing hell, as with each tap of a key, the smell of poop comes wafting out of the keyboard. ohhhhh, food? Well I suppose Dorritos are pretty bad. Yeah, dorritos.

Corpophagia (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541109)

it's what's for diner.

Maybe what we need (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541097)

Is a more lightweight, disposable version of those plastic keyboard covers. It would be a membrane thin and flexible enough that it wouldn't interfere with your typing, but which could be thrown out at the end of the day. It would also, conveniently, protect your keyboard from wayward food particles and corrosive finger oils.

I can only assume that if making such a thing were easy it would have been done by now.

Re:Maybe what we need (1)

nkh (750837) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541168)

It would be a membrane thin and flexible enough that it wouldn't interfere with your typing

Thin, flexible, does not interfere with se... I mean typing, and throwable: condoms! lots of it...

I only agree with one of those (2, Informative)

polysylabic psudonym (820466) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541098)

The flake bar could be disaterous - I've had electronic equipment destroyed by chocolate before!

But seriously, add in likelyhood of the food being eaten over a keyboard and top of the list of most dangerous foods would have to be potato chips (what I think USofAmericans call crisps).

Twisties == death to keyboards.

BTW. easiest way of cleaning them is pull off the keys,turn the board upside down and shake. To pull off the keys using common office equipment, take a paperclip, straighten it, bend it into a U shape about as wide as a key, put a small hook on each end of the U, pointing inwards. The hooks can be made by bending the paperclip around the shirt clip of a pen. Slip the open end of the U over a key, engage the hooks underneath the keycap and pull.

Laptop keyboards are often most easily de-keyed with a butter knife (pref. without butter)

not food but very bad (4, Interesting)

xonen (774419) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541104)

smoking, and ashes, although not food, are the worst. my keyboards may have survived incidental coffee and other drinks, but my smoking habits costs me about 3 or 4 keyboards/year, especially the area from tab/escape to 4/'r' gets damaged (i smoke 'left handed'), causing keys to lock in the end...

Re:not food but very bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541117)

I am not about to coment on the bad habit that is smoking (I plough through at least 10 tabs a day) but seriously dude - buy an ashtray!>. using your keyboard is just dumb :) if you want I will post you one of the little foil ones that they have round the corner at my local greasy spoon.

Re:not food but very bad (1)

eobanb (823187) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541187)

In addition to the OJ above, I've seen this happen. A friend of mine runs a 24/7 internet coffee shop, and almost everyone who hangs out there smokes. He has five or six PCs but he replaces parts of them all the time. The amount of smoke those PCs endure over time is absolutely insane. It might not seem possible, but consider that there's about 15 lit cigarettes within about 30 feet of the PCs 24/7/365: the fans have gotten clogged, the motherboards short out, the CD drives start to jam, and the keys on the keyboards start to get stuck.

Re:not food but very bad (2, Funny)

myowntrueself (607117) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541215)

And believe it or not but some people still don't accept that passive smoking harms *people*

IBM Model M (5, Funny)

carlivar (119811) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541105)

I scoff at the notion that food can interfere with my keyboard. I'm not sure nuclear war would interfere with it. It is the best keyboard ever made... an IBM Model M [modelm.org] .

Jelly? Perhaps today's puny, mushy keyboards would stop working properly when confronted with some measly jelly. My keyboard laughs and keeps on clickety clacking along in data input perfection.

I'll stop using it when they pry it away from my cold, dead fingers. If I ever can't interface it with future PCs I may have to stop buying new computers.

Re:IBM Model M (2, Funny)

artifex2004 (766107) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541153)

I scoff at the notion that food can interfere with my keyboard.


Try bits of stinky cheese with mayonnaise. After a couple of weeks, it'll stink so bad you'll want to toss it.

Re:IBM Model M (1)

carlivar (119811) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541162)

I scoff at the notion that food can interfere with my keyboard.

Try bits of stinky cheese with mayonnaise. After a couple of weeks, it'll stink so bad you'll want to toss it.

That interferes with me, not my keyboard.

Re:IBM Model M (4, Funny)

Ford Prefect (8777) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541166)

I saw an elderly IBM PC at a riding stables once. Basically the whole machine from the monitor down was filled with powdered horse-shit.

Still worked fine, of course.

I've no idea if it was a Model M keyboard attached, but I wouldn't be surprised...

Re:IBM Model M - You got it! (1)

scsirob (246572) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541177)

Guess what I'm typing this message on?!? Yep, a Model M. Totally indestructable.

If, and only if, it would ever start failing by undefined gue from multiple types of 15-year old food, I'm sure I can just dunk it in a bucket of soapy water and get another 15 years out of it.

Problem with IBM Model M keyboards (5, Funny)

John Seminal (698722) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541233)

They make LOUD clicking sounds. No way you could use one at night if you have a family. Nobody could sleep. Plus, if you have a smart wife, she can count the clicking and know what website your beating off to. Seriously. That is how I got busted.

{click}-{click}-{click}{click}{click}-{click}-{cli ck}{click}-{click}

Wifey: God Damn it Bill, I told you, no more teens!

{click}{click}-{click}-{click}{click}{click}-{clic k}

Wifey: Or transvestites!

{click}-{click}-{click}-{click}{click}-{click}

Wifey: That's better, read the news.

glazed doughnuts (1)

goat_of_wisdom (555727) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541108)

They're not so bad to eat over a keyboard, but when you get the frosting on your fingers and try to type, it isn't pretty.

The Worst Foods to Eat Over a Keyboard (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541111)

Hell, I eat all kinds of stuff at my computer. It's like a buffet of little scratch 'n sniff samples. Take the "4" key for example. Hmmm...

*scratches key with fingernail, sniffs*

Yup, pizza sauce.

And what of the left "shift" key? *moistens fingertip, applies to key, sniffs*

Sri Racha--it's good with burritos.

You insensitive clod! (2, Insightful)

Mister Impressive (875697) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541112)

I use an IBM Model M, the cockroach of keyboards, not only can it withstand the worst of worsts in food, but it can survive nuclear war!

Well.... (1)

cloudkj (685320) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541115)

Not exactly food, but the sticky icky by-product of too much pr0n and the one-eyed monster...

Re:Well.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541216)

hey, to the pr0n stars like Kobe Tai it is a sort of food..

V8 (1)

Rhinobird (151521) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541118)

I spilled a V8 on my keyboard, now it's covered in red V8 crust that won't come off.

Which reminds me...never shake a V8 after you've opened the can.

Noone here has mentioned! (5, Funny)

seymansey (654465) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541123)

Sperm! Everyone gets that over their keyboards, right?

Re:Noone here has mentioned! (4, Funny)

Stephen Williams (23750) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541204)

Because we're talking about food. Although I think you just put me off mayo for life.

-Stephen

Re:Noone here has mentioned! (2, Funny)

antdude (79039) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541219)

You eat/drink sperm? Yuck. :X

Re:Noone here has mentioned! (2, Insightful)

DrXym (126579) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541232)

I just bet you work in a call center too.

A solution (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541128)

Man I should be a high priced consultant.

Here is a what a quick Froogle search came up with.
Keyboard Condom [hooleon.com]

cheetos (2, Funny)

ErichTheWebGuy (745925) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541131)

I've chunked through more keyboards eating Cheetos. Not only do the crumbs fill in the voids between keys rather quickly, but you also get that nasty orange residue on the keys. Needless to say, I no longer eat Cheetos while coding! I now try to stick to things like M&M's and Skittles.

sandwiches with dutch crunch bread, no question (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541132)

at least no question for me.

What the...??? (1)

Atario (673917) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541133)

"Rice Bubbles"?

Last I checked, they were called "Rice Krispies". (Or, if avoiding trademarks, "puffed rice".) Where did "rice bubbles" come from?

Re:What the...??? (1)

MasterSLATE (638125) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541178)

Ahh, is that what rice bubbles are supposed to be? If so, then I guess its for copyright reasons? Who knows.. Also, what the hell are flake bars? Sounds like a bar where people with dandruff hang out.

Re:What the...??? (2)

One Childish N00b (780549) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541229)

Ahh, is that what rice bubbles are supposed to be? If so, then I guess its for copyright reasons?

Rice Bubbles is also the name of a cereal in Australia, much the same as Rice Krispies. As the article is from ZDNet Australia, I'm inclined to think the article means those rather than anything else. Also, what the hell are flake bars? Sounds like a bar where people with dandruff hang out

A Flake bar is a Cadbury's confectionary consisting of a long stick of flaky chocolate that crumbles slightly when you bite into it (Flake bar on Wikipedia [wikipedia.org] ).

They're very popular here in Britain, and apparently in Australia too. You probably have something similar wherever you are, but they are beasts to get out of keyboards, especially if your keys are non-detachable.

Re:What the...??? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541197)

markets other than your own, you american-centric fool

Re:What the...??? (2, Informative)

Wade Tregaskis (696280) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541201)

I've never heard of Rice Krispies, but Rice Bubbles are a very common breakfast cereal in Australia. They are exactly as the author describes them in the original story, so I suspect they're also available in the U.S.A.

Im sorry but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541137)

Jizz?

Coffee (1)

Spacejock (727523) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541138)

I drink a lot of the stuff, and I have a split-level computer desk with a wide, pullout shelf for the keyboard. I've often caught the mug with a headphone/mouse/usb cable and almost hooked it all over the keyboard.

Then there's the issue with coffee spray. I've yet to propel meatballs or spaghetti or pizza in quite the same way.

What I do with my keyboard... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541141)

Take it apart and clean it every six months or so.

Unscrew what can be unscrewed, and lever the keys off with a screwdriver. Clean the under-key area as well as everywhere else with some window cleaner (or whatever solvent you have around) and clean the keys one-by-one in warm, soapy water. Then let everything dry (a hair dryer set on a cool setting can speed things up with the main part of the keyboard) and put everything back together again.

By the way, if you're unable to put together a keyboard layout from memory, I suggest taking a couple of quick pictures of your keyboard with a digital camera - at least that way you won't be left wondering which key goes where.

YORGURT!!!! (1)

Rooked_One (591287) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541144)

I HATE YORGURT even with strawberries...

sory, I had to.

Keyboard cleaning (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541149)

No matter what got into your keyboard, unless it's wet and was damaged beyond repair, you can just disassemble the keyboard and clean all non-electric parts with water and detergent. The keyboard will look like new, if you remember where all the keys go.

Zolpidem (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541151)

Zolpidem [rxlist.com] is the worst, everytime I take one at the keyboard, I always wake up the next day with the weirdest posts imaginable at the forums I frequent.

Another tip for washing: (2, Interesting)

SolitaryMan (538416) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541154)

If you are about to wash a keyboard with some dishwasher or washing powder -- don't forget to use some antistatic agent. Otherwise in just a couple of days your keyboard will become dirtier than ever.

Potato Chips... (1)

KrisCowboy (776288) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541155)

Damn chips get struck between the keys.

Who needs to bother? (4, Insightful)

t_allardyce (48447) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541161)

This article is way out of date, most keyboards aren't worth money anymore - they're disposable items. I buy a new one every few months because keep smashing the old one's - its a great tension relief, especially for Windows. Just find a cheap brand of keyboard that you like the feel of and keep buying the same one, theres no need for this fancy crap.

Smoking (2, Insightful)

tezza (539307) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541167)

Not a food per se, but something that is orally administrered whilst typing.

After a few months, tap out the keyboard.

You can see you're not going to be able to validate Moore's law into the distant future.

There are worse things you can get on your keyboar (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541170)

There are worse things you can get on your keyboard than food. Remember that next time you borrow a computer from someone of the male sex, especially if their computer is primarily located in their bedroom.

Festival toilets (5, Interesting)

el_womble (779715) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541171)

There was program on the BBC the showed how potentially dangerous eating at your desk is. They took samples from the journalists desk, and a toilet from Glastonbury Festivals after it had been used/abused for three days (think steaming pile of shit and piss). There was nearly 100x more dangerous bacteria on the desk than on the toilet seat.

Read this while eating (1)

Zakabog (603757) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541174)

I just got back from White Castle and decided to check slashdot while I'm eating. Thought it was pretty funny that this article was on top. The worst thing I manage to eat over a keyboard is anything with crumbs, they get all over your keyboard and inside it, and if it's greasy (like potatoe chips or white castle) it's even worse. I don't usually spill drinks on my keyboard and I don't think I've ever done that. Except I spilt some fruit punch on my friends keyboard once (on his laptop too.) He just took apart the thing and cleaned the keyboard, his keys are still a bit sticky and his laptop is a few years old.

Crackers and pussy. (1)

Seumas (6865) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541179)

Crackers are impossible to eat without corrupting your keyboard, eventually. And eating pussy is hell on it as well. It takes one hell of a can of compressed air to get those curlies out.

Types of food (2, Interesting)

splitterbob (878646) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541180)

I think it's better to go with types of food rather than individual foods. Here are my top 3:

1. Food that can crumble into small pieces that are hard or hardens because when they get stuck under the keys u can't really push down on the keys to type anything. Sometimes shaking it will make it go under other keys. Will have to spend a while removing the key caps and cleaning. Chips, bread crumbs, etc.

2. Sticky foods, or foods/drinks that turn sticky when dried up. Examples are soda water and BBQ sauce. When u spill coke and don't clean it all up, it's going to dry and turn sticky, thus trapping in foods in #1.

3. Stinky food....I eat stuff sometimes by dipping in fish sauce. when that stuff gets on the keyboard it's hard to get rid of the smell unless u do a full blown cleanup

Keyboard and food? (1)

sigjuice (769539) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541194)

Please be serious. I wash my hands with soap before I sit down at my white Apple keyboard.

Fuck ZDNet (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541198)

Why link to a ZDNet poll? Why not just run a Slashdot poll? If the eds are thinking this is a hot idea that they just have to try why not run it as a Slashdot poll?
If it's about ZDNet having run it first and so now owning the "copyright" to this poll (WTF?) then just wait two hundred and fifty years and run it after their copyright expires.
Seriously though, screw those bastards. ZDNet is such a whored out media oganization it is pathetic. They're little more than a propoganda machine for anybody who wants to pay for an ad staged as news and follow it up with a dozen opinion pieces sucking the same cock. They're the Fox network of IT media.
Linking to them for a poll topic? Shit. The news is really slow these days.

Yogurt (1)

eraser_0000 (704867) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541199)

Yogurt is the absolute worst.
Of course it never stays on the spoon and the second you put the cup down with the spoon in it you know the thing will tip over.

BEER!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541207)

The bottle just gets harder and harder not to spill on the keyboard...

Sad to say....vomit (4, Funny)

MrAngryForNoReason (711935) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541208)

Not a food per se but a friend of mine has destroyed several keyboards when late night post-pub gaming has turned into uncontrolled vomiting.

(And yes an actual friend opposed to a scapegoat alter ego.)

Re: Food on Keyboard (2, Interesting)

AliasMoze (623272) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541209)

Though I have spilled an entire cup of coffee right on a keyboard before, spilling food directly on a keyboard isn't the danger. The danger/annoyance is getting food on your fingers, then having to type. When I eat at the computer, I eat left-handed and type with my right. Anybody else do this?

I really won't get any more ridiculous than one-hand typing, because let's face it - it's geeky to an ugly degree if you can't leave the computer for the ten minutes or so it takes to eat. Fatass.

Big League Chew (1)

Catlord (305320) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541210)

Big League Chew shredded bubblegum killed my Vic-20. *sob*

model m (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12541214)

i dont have this problem... oh yeah I use a model M!! type hard or go home

$5.99 Keyboard (3, Interesting)

John Seminal (698722) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541221)

I have had it since I don't know when. I got it out of the bargin bin. I have spilled soda over it, katch-up from fries, accidental sperm from unexpected ejaculation, mayonnaise, just about any food product has come in contact with it. Some nights, I can hear the keys clicking from mice crawling on it licking off whatever food residue is left. And I have even beat the keyboard with 2 clenched fists after dissapointing emails (girls breaking up, getting fired from work, etc). And my cheapo bargin bin keyboard works like a charm. Never any problems.

Meanwhile, I know a guy with an ergo-centric, never going to get carpal tunnel syndrome, wierdo layout with the keyboard split, that he paid $59 for. He has to replace it every 18 months or so. He even has a no food or drink policy in his computer room. And nobody can type on it, not even him.

Keyboards are one of the few things with computers where cheaper is better. Save the extra money for ram.

Smoking (1)

pfafrich (647460) | more than 9 years ago | (#12541223)

Not really food, but it can damage keyboard. Lots of my keys have timy little melt marks where a hot bit of ash has fallen.
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