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Britain's First Jedi Member of Parliament

timothy posted more than 9 years ago | from the sad-funny-or-just-bizarre dept.

Star Wars Prequels 1165

earthlingpink writes "In his maiden speech to the House of Commons, the Hon. Member for Copeland, Jamie Reed MP, announced that he is a Jedi: "as the first Jedi Member of this place, I look forward to the protection under the law that will be provided to me by the Bill" (the quotation is a fair way down the page; search for 'Jedi,' not surprisingly). How long before we have a Congressional equivalent?" Update: 06/29 23:15 GMT by T : Reader JE_Hoover adds a correction: "Although the previous MP for Copeland was the Hon. Member for Copeland, the current MP for Copeland is not a member of the privy council. Debretts make it all clear."

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The Force is *retarded* with this one... (5, Funny)

TripMaster Monkey (862126) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943117)


This whole Jedi religion [scaryplace.com] dreck has now officially gone too far. To those misguided simpletons out there who insist on calling themselves 'Jedi knights', I offer you this chance to prove yourselves:
  • Just build a lightsaber. A real one. That's all.

What's that...you can't? Don't have suitable raw materials, you say?
OK...that's fair...how about this, then:
  • Force choke me. From where you are right now. Go ahead...it's OK.

Are you doing it? I'm not feeling anything...

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (3, Funny)

Umbral Blot (737704) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943144)

Did you misplace your sense of humor today? Did a jedi hit you as a kid?

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (5, Funny)

eggz128 (447435) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943181)


Did a jedi hit you as a kid?


I think you mean "Youngling". :)

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943193)

It's more a rejection of conventional religion. See the review of the UKs 2000 census - according to the stats the UK has more Jedis than Jews.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (2)

Master of Transhuman (597628) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943332)


Yeah, but how much MONEY do the Jedis have? That's the REAL "Force"!

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (4, Insightful)

91degrees (207121) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943197)

Well, okay... But first you have to challenge any christian to turn water into wine without any special apparatus.

Most "Jedi" are simply making a statement that belief in the force is no more rational than belief in any other religion.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943234)

what Christian has ever claimed that they could turn water into wine?

there are a lot less rational things than Christianity.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (1)

wo1verin3 (473094) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943256)

>> what Christian has ever claimed that they could turn water into wine?

What Jedi ever built their own light sabre? I always figured they had a weapons guy....

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (2, Funny)

lowe0 (136140) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943279)

I consider myself a level-headed individual who is above arguing the minutiae of a fictional universe.

But in this case: man, did you even SEE the movie?

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (3, Informative)

Conspiracy_Of_Doves (236787) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943299)

What Jedi ever built their own light sabre?

All of them. It's part of their training.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (1)

Nytewynd (829901) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943306)

This has to be sarcastic. (I hope)

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (4, Interesting)

Rosco P. Coltrane (209368) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943341)

A certain famous one claims to have produced fish out of thin air, and also cured paralysis and blindness amongst other unprovable, highly dubious things.

By the way, I can't help noticing that verified religious crooks of recent centuries past have claimed to be able to perform those very things, only they were exposed as fraud.

So for me, claiming to believe in a Jedi creed is no more ludicrous than being a Christian. Also, watch this post be modded down promptly as a troll, which should tell you something of the power of long entrenched religions.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (5, Funny)

homerules (688184) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943252)

Most Christians, if not all, do not believe they are Christ. On the other hand most Jedi think they are Luke Skywalker.

Wrong Claim (5, Insightful)

Mr Guy (547690) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943301)

Not really.

It's entirely different to claim to believe in Jedi and to claim to BE a Jedi. According to the books I've read and the movies, a Jedi is capable of performing these actions. They all have their "talents" but to be a Jedi you have to be able to manipulate the force in some tangible and demonstrable way.

The water to wine thing doesn't hold. It's not a commonly held dogma (leaving backwoods ministers from crazyville out) that Christians are given controllable powers. If they were claiming to be Jesus, on the other hand, by all means, ask for proof. Thomas did, and got to stick his fingers through the nail wounds.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943199)

You organized-money-religion-whore go and hide in your church your chruchfreak and pray to that naked man that I don't track you down with my AT-AT and give your little-sorry-ass a good spanking you fubar moron.

For the force is with me.

End of story.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (5, Insightful)

Aggrazel (13616) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943210)

The jedi religion is just as real as any other, IMO, except perhaps better written.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (1)

Ralph Wiggam (22354) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943211)


Technically, a good Jedi couldn't "force choke" you.

If someone could stand on one hand a lift a few rocks I would be impressed.

-B

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (1)

lcsjk (143581) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943239)

LightSaber??? Whoa!! I thought they were saying lifesaver! No wonder I did'nt get the jokes!

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943243)

Just turn one drop of water into wine. Just one. And do it in front of me, not some reporter from the National Enquirer.

See? All religions are pretty much the same.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943292)

Yeah, because every Christain believes they can turn water into wine.

Wait, no, maybe they believe in someone who can, instead.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (1, Insightful)

an7ron (846004) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943257)

what are you? a christian? let's see you pray and make one single thing happen.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (5, Funny)

mbrewthx (693182) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943281)

I find your lack of Faith disturbing!!!

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (1)

PakProtector (115173) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943291)

Seriously, TripMaster. Why the hell can't they join a real religion, like Discordianism [principiadiscordia.org] ?

Those freaks.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one... (2, Funny)

TripMaster Monkey (862126) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943327)


Hey! As a Discordian, I find that offensive.

Or mabye I dont.

First post (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943118)

First post! :D

Yeah, but what kind of Jedi is he? (3, Informative)

WebHostingGuy (825421) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943119)

Jedi Academy Student [lucasarts.com]
Jedi Programmer [delphi-jedi.org]
Jedi Religious Member [explorefaith.org]

And did he use the Official Jedi Name Generator? [xach.com]

Re:Yeah, but what kind of Jedi is he? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943162)

Cast off your old name! Your Jedi name isIBEVI CRMAI of the planet imodium!

Find your Jedi Name! [xach.com]

Re:Yeah, but what kind of Jedi is he? (2, Funny)

techfury90 (806273) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943298)

Cast off your old name! Your Jedi name isIBEVI CRMAI of the planet imodium!
Sounds a bit constipated.

Scared (5, Funny)

islandrain (888578) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943120)

Am I the only person who doesn't see the Jedi belief system flawed? I could only imagine the devestation to the republic if this became popular.

Yes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943206)

You are the only one.

There is nothing to see here. (5, Funny)

dstewart (853530) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943121)

This is not the article you are looking for.

Re:There is nothing to see here. (1, Redundant)

repruhsent (672799) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943176)

This isn't offtopic; it's an obscure reference to Star Wars ep. IV (remember the part where Obi Wan "convinces" the guards that these aren't the droids they're looking for?).

Slashdot mods: YOU ARE FAGGOT PIECES OF SHIT.

Re:There is nothing to see here. (4, Informative)

TripMaster Monkey (862126) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943230)


This isn't offtopic; it's an obscure reference to Star Wars ep. IV

It's hardly obscure...it's probably the most heavily quoted/referenced line from episode IV.

Don't blame the mods...they're on crack...they really can't help themselves.

Re:There is nothing to see here. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943269)

Do you do anything other than post on slashdot?

FUNNY (1, Insightful)

Mr. Underbridge (666784) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943215)

godalmighty, there should be a sense of humor test for mods.

They'd already controlled it. (1)

Musteval (817324) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943124)

I can't say this is too much of a surprise. The Jedi already had a stranglehold on Parliament, and actually having a member IN it merely seals the deal.

Nothing for you to see here. Please move along. (3, Funny)

Silverlancer (786390) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943127)

This is not the congressman you're looking for.

Re:Nothing for you to see here. Please move along. (4, Funny)

s20451 (410424) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943203)

At first I thought it was ridiculous to openly espouse a hokey religion invented by a science fiction hack. But then I realized, it sure helped this guy [imdb.com] ...

Re:Nothing for you to see here. Please move along. (1)

Alex P Keaton in da (882660) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943312)

How long before we have a Congressional equivelant?
We had one, from the Mahoning Valley in Ohio. He is currently in Federal Prison. James Traficant, D, representitive from Ohio. He completed his speeches with the phrase "Beam me up Scotty." He wore an amazingly bad toupee with sideburns, and wore leisure suits on the House floor. He was a Democrat who voted with the Republicans.

Rawr! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943135)

As a Sith, I must protest this!

Hmmm (0, Redundant)

Bonzor (856075) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943143)

Imagine a beowulf cluster of him!

Needless to say (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943150)

The farce is strong in this one.

Read his speech I did (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943151)

Here is how he introduced himself in the house of commons today:

"Mr. Speaker, yes, Jedi I am"

Answer (5, Funny)

Spy der Mann (805235) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943152)

How long before we have a Congressional equivalent?

Oh, but we have. Problem is... they're all Siths. And the greedy kind.

Don't worry (1)

isotope23 (210590) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943236)

Emporer Palpatine will be along shortly
to dissolve the Senate.

They get Jedi (5, Funny)

MECC (8478) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943155)

"How long before we have a Congressional equivalent?"

They get Jedi, we get Sith...

Re:They get Jedi (0)

WebHostingGuy (825421) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943208)

They get Jedi, we get Sith...

Now that's funny.

Re:They get Jedi (5, Funny)

BiloxiGeek (872377) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943258)

Please use a spell checker next time. I think what you meant to post was:

They get Jedi, we get Shit...

Re:They get Jedi (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943280)

Only Sith deal in absolutes.

Re:They get Jedi (1)

MrTick (754591) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943321)

Like the dyslexics always say... Sith Happens.

perfect... (1)

Stir (446728) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943156)

We already have an Emperor and a Vader. Before long we'll be ready for a rebellion.

Re:perfect... (1)

robertjw (728654) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943285)

And a Death Star. Woo Hoo!

Oy vey (4, Funny)

MAXOMENOS (9802) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943158)

As if there wasn't enough lunacy in Parliament.

Re:Oy vey (1)

Jonny_eh (765306) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943250)

At least they can prove someone's not a Vulcan by doing a blood test.

So when will we have... (1)

rminsk (831757) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943164)

So this has clear the way to have our first Starfleet member of Parliament. This is a great day indeed.

Good for him (5, Insightful)

Richie1984 (841487) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943165)

I'm glad that he's paying attention to this ridiculous bill by showing how daft the implications of it would be. Hopefully, along with Rowan Atkinson's [bbc.co.uk] recent attack, the bill will be defeated

Re:Good for him (5, Informative)

ettlz (639203) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943295)

Spot on. For those posters who don't understand, this MP isn't making a mockery of Parliament or taking the mick. He's pointing out stupidity in currently proposed legislation that would make a crime of "incitement to religious hatred". A lot of people here in the UK are quite rightly worried that this will put religions (which, let us not forget are lifestyle choices and private members' clubs) beyond questionability, and allow New Labour to cry "yoink" on yet another freedom.

In other news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943170)

Jedi MP also admits he is immature and needs to grow up and move out of his parents' basement

They Voted Him In (1, Flamebait)

millahtime (710421) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943172)

This gives immense insight into the type of people that get voted into Parliment. The voters are either oblivious, don't care, don't know better or maybe they are also members of that movement.

Either way, the next time the British Parliment critizes something in the world I will be rethinking where they are coming from.

Re:They Voted Him In (2, Funny)

ShelbyCobra (134614) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943246)

This gives immense insight into the type of people that get voted into Parliment. The voters are either oblivious, don't care, don't know better or maybe they are also members of that movement.

Or perhaps they have a really twisted sense of humor...

Does Darth Hillary count? (4, Funny)

ScentCone (795499) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943173)

Or maybe Count Obama?

Somehow "Master Kennedy" just doesn't have the same ring to it. And "Darth Delay" is only slightly better than "General Grievous"

Re:Does Darth Hillary count? (5, Funny)

Ralph Wiggam (22354) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943253)


I think Darth Frist and Lord Cheney sound good. Grand Moff Rumsfeld has a nice ring to it, too.

-B

No Jedi Congressmen (1)

Aumaden (598628) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943174)

Sith Congressmen

I think this goes to prove (0, Troll)

winkydink (650484) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943175)

that Britain's island gene pool needs an immediate injection of diversity.

Just one thing (1)

eclectro (227083) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943178)

How long before we have a Congressional equivalent?

But aren't Jedi supposed to be good??

Oh no.... (1)

Mad_Rain (674268) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943180)

I know what all the supporters of this person are thinking:

"It's as if millions of voices cried out "D'oh!" and suddenly smacked themselves on the forehead with the palm of their hand"...

WHAT!? (0, Offtopic)

BlueWaldo (651162) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943182)

WHAT!?

dont ridicule it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943184)


Ron L Hubbard did ok, Tom Cruise however.....

Congressional equivalent? (1)

bobalu (1921) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943188)

Pay any attention to the last election much, didja?

You can't get elected to a school board in the US if you're not the "right" religion.

Of course there's always California...

Re:Congressional equivalent? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943229)

Those pesky Americans, always choosing who they want to be elected. It would be much better if we could just tell them, no?

What The... (1)

creimer (824291) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943189)

Jedi...? We need no stinking Jedi here! We need leaders who serve the people in the government. We don't don't need anymore self-righteous idiots running around the talk shows swinging their color-of-the-month light sabers. Bah... What's next? A Sith Lord running for President?

Re:What The... (1)

halltk1983 (855209) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943235)

Kerry already ran! ;-)

Re:What The... (1)

Homology (639438) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943307)

We don't don't need anymore self-righteous idiots running around the talk shows swinging their color-of-the-month light sabers. Bah... What's next? A Sith Lord running for President?

You mean this one [whitehouse.org] ?

While it is unlikely that a Jedi will run... (1)

monopole (44023) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943195)

I would suspect that a large proportion of Sith lords are already present in the current administration.

Re:While it is unlikely that a Jedi will run... (1)

halltk1983 (855209) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943277)

"Always two there are. No more, no less."
How can there be a "large proportion"?

Jamie Reed MP on theyworkforyou.com (4, Interesting)

InsomniaCity (599389) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943204)

Here is Jamie Reed's MP page [theyworkforyou.com] on My Society's [mysociety.org] excellent TheyWorkForYou project.

And here [theyworkforyou.com] is the screen scraped debate, that you can comment on like a blog.

Hansard: A New Hope (1)

Tackhead (54550) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943218)

> Mr. Jamie Reed (Copeland) (Lab):
> Furthermore, as the first Jedi Member of this place, I look forward to the protection under the law that will be provided to me by the Bill.

Mr. Han Solo (Corellia) (Reb):
Listen, Mr. Reed, hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side.

Greedo (Tatooine) (Hutt):
free-boo-blee~fttz~Solo wise. Solo speak truth. Lucas speak false. Smuggler from Corellia shoot first. Still not having paid campaign donations, mind you.~ftttzgrbl~

... I hope Jedi has a second meaning... (1)

KD5YPT (714783) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943220)

Okay... either the word Jedi have a difference meaning before George Lucas used it... or that guy is on crack and watches WAY too much Star Wars... or maybe an attempt at a joke. ... I hope its a joke.

Insult! (4, Funny)

t'mbert (301531) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943221)

This is an absolute insult to those of us who hold religious beliefs. Now the faiths of Christianity, Judaism and Muslimism are on par with something made up in a movie!

Re:Insult! (2, Insightful)

wk633 (442820) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943297)

Honestly not sure if you're joking- but if not then it raises an all important point that one person's religsion is another person's wackiness. Wicca is a serious religion for many people, but is still viewed as 'wacky' by a large part of the US population. Whatever you think you know about Wicca, people who are serious Wiccans deserve the same protections that you do as whatever you are.

Re:Insult! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943323)

As opposed to something made up in a book.

Re:Insult! (1, Troll)

shish (588640) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943338)

the faiths of Christianity, Judaism and Muslimism are on par with something made up in a movie!

No change there then...</militant atheist flamebait>

Re:Insult! (5, Funny)

Narchie Troll (581273) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943339)

+1 Funny, use of word "Muslimism"

Also: there's been a religion based on sci-fi books [scientology.org] for decades.

Too Much Competition Here... (3, Funny)

OmniGeek (72743) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943224)

Clearly, the Congresscritters in the US will never go Jedi, as they're already devotees of the Book of Bokonon. This can be seen by their tendency to speak in foma, or as the rest of us call them, "reassuring lies." ;-)

maybe its a race between the sci-fi religions! (1)

deft (253558) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943225)

put down your money now.

will it be a jedi congressman first?
or will it be a scientologist first?
(cue tom cruise bouncing around)

both "religions" spewed from sci-fi... so why not a race to the white house from the pages/silverscreen?

We've already had Mormons (-1, Troll)

The Wicked Priest (632846) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943342)

Mormons are the prototype for "sci-fi religions". They believe that God is an alien.

Congressional equivalent (3, Insightful)

91degrees (207121) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943240)

You have to realise that the British don't take anything too seriously, especially politics and religion.

In the US, I suspect a politician making light of religion in this way would upset a lot of people in The Bible Belt.

RTFA (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943261)

Okay, did anybody actually read the article? Did anybody bother to check the background?

Or did people not even think that he was making a satarical attack against the new bill that Labour are seeking to impose?

I read it, and then instantly saw the humour in it. Or did no one else think to read between the lines.

Again, the slashdot community attempt to do the javelin and 100m sprint events together.

How long before we have one? (1)

GPS Pilot (3683) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943266)


A long time, I hope. Serving in Congress is serious business (or at least it ought to be). Not the place for people who fantasize about fictional religions invented by second-rate movie directors.

Just because you say you are, doesn't mean you are (1)

varmittang (849469) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943274)

Doesn't he need to prove himself in front of the councel or something before he can just call himself a "Jedi". And where is this "councel" he proved himself too. Also, doesn't he need a master under which he trained. He can't just go around anouncing this stuff, he must stick to the order of things.

A far more readable link... (4, Informative)

david.given (6740) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943278)

...is available at the TheyWorkForYou.com page [theyworkforyou.com] .

If you read some of the rest of the debate --- surprisingly good stuff, provided you skim it and don't get bogged down in the interminable speeches --- you'll realise that the statement was in the context of a debate on the Racial And Religious Hatred Bill, now undergoing reading for the second time. I'm not entirely sure why the hon. Gentleman saw fit to follow it up with a rather long lecture on Cumbrian history, that was only brought short by his running out of time and the Speaker cutting him off...

And where are the Sith in this (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943286)

How soon until we see Sith loard as religion or offical state title

ahhahah jedi religion (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943303)

and they call scientiology a cult....... i mean come on people, if you invent a religion at least you should screw people with it, thats the fun of it... the science wackos do it..... this jedi shith is not a real religion, i dont get it. Oh and they also need an enemy..... theres not a good religion without an enemy..... they need siths.... w0w, i have an image of kofi anan with darth maul facial art and im almost scared....... maybe they can lure him into something less evil than the un so they have an equally faggot nemesis to screw with.....
i see business here

A US Sith lord (0, Troll)

jzarling (600712) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943304)

Isnt VP Cheney a Sith?

Why Not? (1)

Master of Transhuman (597628) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943305)


Most of the religious nutcases we have in Congress today are far loonier than this guy.

Some of these morons allegedly actually CROWNED the Reverend Sun Myung Moon in an official ceremony in an official US government building!

Can this Jedi loon beat that?

Aleister Crowley had the right idea: "The Christians to the lions!"

This will call for a filibuster. (1)

lcsjk (143581) | more than 9 years ago | (#12943310)

I hear the Republicans are gearing up to filibuster before letting e Jedi have a seat!

a sad day in politics (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943322)

This is pitiful. PITIFUL.

When will people wake up to reality?

Not a REAL Jedi...is it? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#12943340)

Wait...England has Jedi's running their country? How can this guy be a Jedi and get through a whole speach without the wooden delivery and a quick "May the force be with you" at the end? I don't buy it.
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