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White Lies Help Stressed Computer Users

Zonk posted more than 9 years ago | from the working-is-hard-apparently dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 333

An anonymous reader writes "Simple tricks allow one to appear to be hard at work in the office while actually forwarding calls, e-mails and instant messages to your mobile phone. One can backdate e-mails through rolling back a computer's built-in clock or use background phone noises to concoct convincing excuses not to go to work."

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333 comments

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WHA?! (5, Funny)

b0bx13 (743667) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085892)

People are lazy?!

Re:WHA?! (1)

guzugi (688311) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085895)

maybe so. but they like to work, right?

Re:WHA?! (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085969)

no, people are lazy, they just like to collect a paycheck. Sometimes I think people work harder at not working then actually doing the work.

How to use this to make workers look bad (4, Insightful)

Travoltus (110240) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085901)

Stuff like this could become the first direction all fingers point when a company goes down.

So much for it being because a company's product got beaten out by a competitor, or because its leadership embezzled it into the ground, or creative accounting.

Everyone now will be looking for the back office Richard Pryor type (I forgot the name of the movie) as a scapegoat.

American workers are already being called the laziest in the world (by conservatives, mind you) while statistics show them to be among the most productive (overall, if not per hour). If we're such collective goof offs then why are we so productive?

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (0, Flamebait)

dakkon1024 (691790) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085916)

America is hated, like bill gates it hated. The further you climb, the bigger the magnifying glass gets.

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (1)

Travoltus (110240) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085938)

We're more than Bill Gates. We're more than Bush.

As an American I apologize for both of them.

Oh, and Linus is from Finland but he came to America. *grin* We're DEFINITELY proud of him! And Richard Stallman, too :)

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086300)

As an American, I apologize for Richard Stallman. I don't apologize for Gates or Bush, I just disavow any connection.

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085940)

Yes, in my country we call this tall poppy syndrome.

Is it just me...? Or did someone else troll...? (0, Offtopic)

Uber Banker (655221) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085972)

See subject.

Productivity is not measurable (2)

fraxinus-tree (717851) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086001)

or, at least, not when you compare between different businesses, cultures or payments.
So, american (resident) workers are lazier, compared to, well, the mexican workers in the same company, same position and for the same particular task.

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086021)

American workers are already being called the laziest in the world (by conservatives, mind you) while statistics show them to be among the most productive (overall, if not per hour). If we're such collective goof offs then why are we so productive?

If America is so productive, why does it have such an enormous balance of trade deficit?

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (1)

Travoltus (110240) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086074)

Offshoring.

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (4, Informative)

kryten_nl (863119) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086030)

Everyone now will be looking for the back office Richard Pryor type (I forgot the name of the movie) as a scapegoat.
Superman 3 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086393/ [imdb.com]

American workers are already being called the laziest in the world (by conservatives, mind you) while statistics show them to be among the most productive (overall, if not per hour). If we're such collective goof offs then why are we so productive?

Because:
  1. You don't have as much vacation days as Europeans
  2. Minimum wages are so low and without a wellfare state, some people have to work two jobs just to get by.
  3. You have this collective 'Best <insert noun> of the world' attitude

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086119)

How are 'conservatives' saying American workers are lazy?

Such stupidity.. What do you get all your information from 'Air America' or something?

I bet you think that 'conservatives' like raping babies and love poluted air.. as long as it makes them a buck, too.

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086160)

American workers are already being called the laziest in the world (by conservatives, mind you)

Would you mind telling us which conservatives have said that, and provide links to back it up?

Conservatives are morons (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086199)

American workers are already being called the laziest in the world (by conservatives, mind you) while statistics show them to be among the most productive (overall, if not per hour).

If conservatives had their way they'd abolish things like statistics (and learning in general) then state conjecture about 'lazy american workers' as fact and vehemently deny that it was otherwise while spinning it back on liberals as a form of 'commie pinko' support of the working class.

Just remember it's the hard, intelligent, innovative real Americans outside the quasi-work of politics that do all the work in business, industry etc. that supports these asswipes, gives them a forum to air their views and made America such a great nation in the first place.

Re:How to use this to make workers look bad (1)

stigpalm (615408) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086256)

I'm not sure about productive but you Yanks appear to work a shitlaod of hours

Yeah... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085905)

A (semi)-respected publisher puts out a book on how to shirk actual work?

Like any of you losers works anyways.

Back in my day, we had to walk 10 miles uphill in the snow wearing a sun dress, just to submit our punchcards to the mainframe guy! And you complain about a little typing.

-- Lost the password to my two-digit uid.

Re:Yeah... (4, Funny)

dalutong (260603) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085936)

you think that's bad?

my commute was uphill BOTH WAYS!

Re:Yeah... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085996)

...and you tell it to the kids of today and they *won't* believe you...

Re:Yeah... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086010)

You can always say that your private mailserver only sends out emails every day at noon. But, punched out by the flu as you were, you didn't remember that when you sent the email 07:30 that morning.

There are millions of excuses, but I think one's better off with the truth. "Sorry boss, but I'm really burned out these days, can I please have a couple of days off?" is much better than if your PHB notices that you've been lying to him every monday for several months.

Re:Yeah... (1)

YeEntrancemperium (869619) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086011)

Back in your day, you had clean air.

Re:Yeah... (2, Funny)

noidentity (188756) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086129)

A (semi)-respected publisher puts out a book on how to shirk actual work?

Unfortunately the book's pages are blank because the author was applying the tactics when he was supposedly writing the book (and the editor the same, otherwise he would have noticed).

Why?!!! (1)

Agret (752467) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085908)

"One can backdate e-mails through rolling back a computer's built-in clock."

Why aren't the message times marked by the SMTP server itself? Even then, why does the SMTP server accept e-mails from the past?

Re:Why?!!! (3, Insightful)

yiangocy (607636) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085924)

Yes, the messages are stamped by the SMTP server itself. The article really should not be taken seriously. I was surprised that it was published by Reuters to be honest.

The SMTP server accepts email from any time -- you can be from a totally different timezone remember.

Also, did anyone else notice this at the end of the article?:

(Additional reporting by Duncan Martell in San Francisco, Reed Stevenson in Seattle and Kevin Krolicki in Los Angeles)

It took so many people to write that?

Re:Why?!!! (5, Funny)

Living WTF (838448) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085933)

> Even then, why does the SMTP server accept e-mails from the past?

Yes, that's ridiculous! Imagine it would also accept a fake sender address...

Re:Why?!!! (1)

germanStefan (766513) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085957)

Well sometimes you send e-mails from fake addresses. Its a necessity...think about all the times you get e-mails from a website. Those usually are all faked from's as often they want you to reply to someone other than the web server's user account. I do it all the time. In fact, I have a few forms on my website, all which when e-mail people are from "different" addresses. So when they reply to the generated addresses they reach real people, not the apache user account.

I've thought about rejecting e-mails from the future or way in the past as well as from non resistant domains, but in the end its better just to deliver it all instead of getting complaints from customers saying they didn't get an e-mail. So just deliver everything and hopefully the anti-spam solution will flag it...but atleast the customer will get it.

Re:Why?!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086217)

Those usually are all faked from's as often they want you to reply to someone other than the web server's user account. I do it all the time. In fact, I have a few forms on my website, all which when e-mail people are from "different" addresses. So when they reply to the generated addresses they reach real people, not the apache user account.
That's why there's a "Reply-To" field.

Re:Why?!!! (4, Informative)

wfberg (24378) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085934)


Why aren't the message times marked by the SMTP server itself?


They are, just look for the Received: header. Some software (Outlook) makes it hard to look at these headers, but they are there.

Even then, why does the SMTP server accept e-mails from the past?

Because of the store-and-forward nature of SMTP. In a typical situation, your mail is first delivered to your local SMTP server and then sent to the remote SMTP server. And some sites have complicated setups with multiple servers even within their own organization forwarding the messages a few times. Since delays and downtime can creep in a few places, there's no good reason to deny "old" messages. Although unlikely dates are usually flagges by anti-spam software as being suspicious.

More generally, SMTP doesn't try to check the authenticity of message headers or content in any way. Which is why you can also "forge" the From-address, etc.

Re:Why?!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085939)

Most SMTP servers do put the time into their RECEIVED header. Sometimes however these are hard to interpret and tech-unsavvy users never get to see these headers anyway, so they can't tell an inter-SMTP delay from a tweaked source time. On the other hand, it's like the "my dog ate the homework" excuse. It doesn't work very often before the recipient wises up.

Message from the past (5, Funny)

Lord Dimwit Flathead (668521) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085942)

Hello, I am sending this into the future from 1908! How are you? I hope things are well in the 21st century! Anyway, I just wanted to say "hi". I'll let you get back to maintaining your underwater habitat and defending the Earth against the Martian aggressors now.

This message was sent from planetary node Alpha-7 at 15:27 on March 17, 1908.

Re:Why?!!! (3, Funny)

pha95mlb (716234) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085959)

why does the SMTP server accept e-mails from the past?

Cause it's so much simpler than accepting e-mails from the future.

I hope IT guys know the dangers of changing times (1)

usurper_ii (306966) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086144)

I once changed the system clock on a computer by accident. It managed to lock me out of a critical app, heavy on the DRM, and caused me to have to spend 30 minutes to an hour online with the key-gods to get me back into the app. I can think of other problems caused by a date change, as well, especially in a corporate environment.

If the goal here is stress relief...messing with the clock may not be the right direction to head in!

Usurper_ii

Backdate e-mails (4, Informative)

baadger (764884) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085911)

"One can backdate e-mails through rolling back a computer's built-in clock"

Unfortunately "Received:" headers add their own date e.g.

Received: from mta02-winn.ispmail.ntl.com (mta02-winn.ispmail.ntl.com [81.103.221.42]) by mx2.messagingengine.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id xxxxxxxxxxxx for ; Sun, 17 Jul 2005 03:56:09 -0400 (EDT)

Re:Backdate e-mails (1)

Living WTF (838448) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085964)

Noticing that would require someone who knows about mail headers, which would probably be the guy who backdates his email ...

Re:Backdate e-mails (3, Insightful)

tero (39203) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085986)

..or the companys mail/sys/netadmin, once The Boss gets irked enough of the "network delaying important work" all the time.
After that.. well, you can kiss your job goodbye..

Re:Backdate e-mails (5, Insightful)

BiDi (853932) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086061)

Do you think that bosses know how to check e-mail headers? 90% of them only know how to start Outlook if the icon is sitting directly on the desktop.

So, my mail server went down for several hours. (1)

b00m3rang (682108) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086097)

It happens.

Re:Backdate e-mails (1)

fimbulvetr (598306) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086292)

Thunderbird displays the "Date" field for messages.
It uses the Timestamp from the MUA of the sender. Don't ask me why. I often get spams from Jan, 1969 and they end up way at the bottom of all my emails. When I get the 2008 ones, they end up at the top. And when someone reinstalls Windows XP I can tell, because they always forget to set their timezone incorrectly.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not hard to fool some people...

interesting, mr. spock! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085912)

it seems slashdot it anti-work ethic today. oh, i must be new here!

people have been lazy long before tech (5, Interesting)

ibanez16 (241869) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085919)

People have always been finding ways to cheat work. Whether its longer breaks, sleeping in the bathroom, yeah i know people who have done it, or god knows what else. My favorite though is the george costanza's method, building a bed under your desk to take naps in.

God i've thought about it myself a few times......

Re:people have been lazy long before tech (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085930)

have u seen a real programmer's workplace? some actually have sleeping areas underneath desks and have drapes they can pull across to keep the light out. of course these weren't created to cheat working, but actually because you practically live there. i saw this on G4 when they were showing Gran Turismo 4 programmers.

Strewth! (1)

baadger (764884) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085976)

Slashdot needs to commission a documentary on the habits of these elusive slashdot "real programmer" [google.com] while in their natural habitat.

Anyone happen to know if Steve Irwin's up for he challenge?

Re:Strewth! (1)

fimbulvetr (598306) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086326)

Outback guy [on TV]: I've got to be careful. So what I'm gonna do is sneak up on him and jam my thumb in his butthole.

Stan: Holy crap, dude!

Outback guy [on TV]: If I get bit out here, I'm 200 kilometers from the nearest hospital. I better be real careful jamming my thumb in his butthole. [jumps into the water and wrestles the croc] Oh boy he's pissed of now!

Kyle: Go dude go!

Outback guy [on TV]: I'm gonna jam my thumb in his butthole now. This should really piss him off. [he
jams his thumb in] [the croc makes a noise] Oh yeah that pissed him off alright!

[the scamps cheer]

Re:people have been lazy long before tech (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085967)

Sleeping in the bathroom? Sure, if that's what you want to call it...

You're in the wrong job. (5, Insightful)

onion2k (203094) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085920)

If you're resorting to lies and trickery to avoid the work you ought to be doing, then you should quit. If your job is so bad, don't carry on with it. Find one you actually like, that you enjoy, that isn't something you want to avoid. You'll be a lot less stressed and you'll find life a whole lot easier.

Re:You're in the wrong job. (4, Insightful)

Travoltus (110240) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085945)

Except then there would be the problem with paying rent. For most people nowadays, an enjoyable job is not one that pays, or at least pays well. Unless you start your own business and all that, of course most businesses fail in the first year.

But yeah, lies and trickery on the job are not cool, either by the workers or by the executive officers...

Re:You're in the wrong job. (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086063)

"But yeah, lies and trickery on the job are not cool, either by the workers or by the executive officers..."

The difference is that when I get caught, I get fired. When executive officers get caught, they retire with millions via a severance package.

Re:You're in the wrong job. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086112)

Your right, but remember that massive personal debt problem. You need that crappy job to;
Pay off that house you can't afford,
the Cars you dont need;
your significant others car,
The Boat, Pool, spa,
to send your kids to overpriced private "schools".
etc.

People are tied to their jobs as they would be screwed if that lost their employment.

As Confucius says.... (2, Insightful)

Emperor Stalin (898971) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086128)


"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

setting back clock does nothing (4, Interesting)

germanStefan (766513) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085922)

While setting back you clock may fool some people, it wont fool anyone who knows about the "header" of an e-mail. A quick peek there and you find all the timestamps of each email server that passed the email along. If there is a "huge" gap inbetween when it was send form "localhost" and the first mailserver...something is up.

Also this doesn't work if one uses webmail where one would have to reset the server's time.

NOT that I don't resolve to such trickery once in a while. Most of our boses won't read the header of a message, and only the true geek has his e-mail viewer set to e-mail source instead of the nice outlook (evolution for me) display. If your cubicle is in a public place, virtual desktops comes in handy. gaim open on desktop 1, quickly move to desktop2 with source code open when you hear footsteps... or for the windows fans, alt tab to a full screen program where you have "actual work" open...

I would be interested in what other slashdotters do, I'm sure we have some pretty original ideas.

Re:setting back clock does nothing (1)

NickFortune (613926) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085995)

NOT that I don't resolve to such trickery once in a while. [...] If your cubicle is in a public place, virtual desktops comes in handy. gaim open on desktop 1, quickly move to desktop2 with source code open when you hear footsteps... or for the windows fans, alt tab to a full screen program where you have "actual work" open...

And if you only do it once in a while, you may well get away with it. Just be aware that it gets pretty easy to spot if someone jumps for the same key combo every time you approach their desk.

Just because no one's said anything, it doesn't mean they don't realise what you're doing. Nor does it mean they will remain silent if you keep it up.

That said, I had one colleague who used to do the same thing on the command line. He'd keep a vi session in the background, editing this program he'd had checked out for about three months. In the forground, he'd mess around, waste time, or do the crossword in the paper. When the boss asked what he was up to, he'd just type "fg" and say, "well, I'm still working on program foo.ca here..."

How he got away with that one, I will never know.

Re:setting back clock does nothing (1)

germanStefan (766513) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086002)

heh, oviously one shouldn't spend all day doing nothing. work should occupy almost the entire amount while your at work, but sometimes you hit a bug you can't fix and need time to think or relax...and if someone notices...use 3ddesktop pager program to switch between virtual desktops...usually it gets a "wow, cool" reaction from the non techies when they see things rotate and zoom in and out : )

Counter productive (3, Funny)

91degrees (207121) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085923)

This seems likr a lot of effort to go through to not do nay work.

Re:Counter productive (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085955)

Yeah.. try fixing other people's retarded code all day, and then say that.

High technology? Doubtful. (4, Funny)

stoph ct (899877) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085931)

High-technology tricks once seen as the purview of hackers

Such as actually using the features included in your e-mail client and changing your time settings? Amazing high technology hacker tricks. *rolls eyes*

Nothing new... (0, Offtopic)

Randseed (132501) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085943)

*sigh* Nothing new here. Move along now.

Obligatory Quote (5, Funny)

Living WTF (838448) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085950)

"I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."

Marx predicted this (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085954)

The article describes instances of alienated workers using technology to get out of slaving at their their boring, meaningless jobs:
"Instead of being a slave to technology, you can master it, you can make it look like you are working when and where you are not," said Marc Saltzman, 35, the author of "White Collar Slacker's Handbook" published in June.

Saltzman says computer trickery has become mainstream as the not-super-tech savvy people seek ways of coping with a 24x7 work culture and the increasing inability of people to dodge uncomfortable questions in an era of "always-on" broadband, mobile phone and instant messaging connections.

"Just because you can be reached everywhere doesn't mean you have to be in touch all the time," Saltzman said in a phone interview. "The question is how do you turn the tables?"


It should be pointed out that this high-tech slackery and the widespread phenomenon of downloading music and other media are two aspects of a single process.

What is happening is workers, reduced in today's "service economy" (subservience economy would be a better term) to little more that soulless drones, are rejecting the labor and property regimes imposed upon them by the ruling classes.

Another instance of this historical turn is the acts of so-called "terrorism" taking place more and more often at present.

While these acts are clearly atrocities, and those who perpetrate them must be stopped, it is only a matter of time before the masses wake up to the fact that religious extremism is a mere superstructural stand-in for a more direct oppostion to the capitalist-imperialist system, their true downpressor.

Thus the global proletariat will eventually unite in opposition to the dehumanizing system of oligarchichal imperalist capital that today crushes so many spirits.

Resistance is taking many forms these days. These are times for those who desire true human liberty to be optimistic.

Re:Marx predicted this (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085977)

::mumbles::

Bingo!

Re:Marx predicted this (4, Interesting)

Oligonicella (659917) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086113)

Did Marx predict the plethora of corruption and dictatorial suppression that is the very hallmark of communism? Or perhaps the almost complete and utter collapse of the various contries economys?

MOD UP (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086245)

Parent makes a good point. I realise how bad todays system with corruption and amoral capitalism, but I also realise on the other hand some of us in the west have also never had it so good. The thing is humans in social situation are going to try climb the dominance hierarchy anyway they can. I think it's even been shown in game theory that anyone who cooperates will always swap to competing if another actor starts competing. You can't stop it. It's sad and it sucks.

Me personally, I'm a 'disgruntled idealist' who has tried to find ways to come to grips with such things. A good quote that comes to mind was from the military strategist John Boyd.

"One day you will come to a fork in the road. And you're going to have to make a decision about what direction you want to go." [Boyd] raised his hand and pointed. "If you go that way you can be somebody. You will have to make compromises and you will have to turn your back on your friends. But you will be a member of the club and you will get promoted and you will get good assignments." Then Boyd raised the other hand and pointed another direction. "Or you can go that way and you can do something - something for your country and for your Air Force and for yourself. If you decide to do something, you may not get promoted and you may not get the good assignments and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you won't have to compromise yourself. You will be true to your friends and to yourself. And your work might make a difference." He paused and stared. "To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That's when you will have to make a decision. To be or to do? Which way will you go?"

Kids these days... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13085958)

What ever happened to good ol' fashioned drawing eyes on your glasses so it looks like you're awake?

Why? (4, Insightful)

Chasuk (62477) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085978)

From what was described in the article, I don't understood how the "cheating" took any less effort than something novel like... doing the work.

That's like friends I have who shorten "thanks" to "thnkx," because it saves them time. They're right! Wow, in 50 years, they might have saved enough time to watch an episode of South Park!

Re:Why? (1)

photon317 (208409) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086087)


The difference is that cheating can be engaging and entertaining to your brain, whereas most white-collar jobs these days are mind-numbing and pointless. But hey, society pays better for sitting on your ass in white-collar-land than it does to get out and do some real work, so that's what those who can will do.

their ignorance is your bliss (5, Insightful)

FoxAche (875082) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085980)

I like surfing the web with Lynx under Cygwin with the colors set to grays. To the average person who walks past it looks like I'm working. They think I'm doing some work using the command line. As the IT area in my office is too full I'm sitting in accounts where they have no clue what you are doing, but had I opened a web page in a regular browser it would look bad.

Re:their ignorance is your bliss (1)

springbox (853816) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086250)

That's good. I ssh into the systems at work to work with vim most of the time so I can get away with using things with colors like naim and people can't tell the difference.

Tricks (4, Informative)

Ratbert42 (452340) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085981)

I know plenty of guys that leave their desk set up so you'd have no idea they left for the day. A jacket on the back of their chair, a cup of coffee next to the keyboard, an open document, keys on the desk, etc.

One I discovered is that you can take a full-sized screenshot and use Windows XP's built-in slideshow screensaver to display that as a locked screensaver. Hide your clock, take a shot of a Word document, and your locked, idle PC looks like you're in the middle of work.

Re:Tricks (1)

danila (69889) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086139)

Why not just disable the screensaver and leave a document open?

Liability. (3, Insightful)

vhold (175219) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086168)

If anybody was on to you, they could sit down at your desk and do some nefarious things under your network login and you'd be ultra hosed.

Sure, you could pretty much no matter what with physical access to the machine, but not locking up at night would practically be inviting it.

Fight Club (0, Offtopic)

KrisCowboy (776288) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085984)

Start your own Fight Club and have fun. Screw the work. Screw the boss. Screw all that sh!t you buy even though you don't need it. If this is your first night of Fight Club - you got to fight. And this is a damn offtopic post.

Re:Fight Club (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086116)

Looks on-topic to me...

No thanks (4, Funny)

iamdrscience (541136) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085985)

There's no way I'm working that hard to avoid working. I'll goof off the old fashion way, thank you very much.

Re:No thanks (1)

noidentity (188756) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086111)

But this is open-source! You can reuse the instructions freely.

Misread that for a moment (4, Funny)

FidelCatsro (861135) | more than 9 years ago | (#13085997)

Was out to go buy myself a few grammes of coke

Re:Misread that for a moment (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086014)

Ticket to ride, white line highway
Tell all your friends, they can go my way
Pay your toll, sell your soul
Pound for pound costs more than gold
The longer you stay, the more you pay
My white lines go a long way
Either up your nose or through your vein
With nothin to gain except killin' your brain

You've got to love Grandmaster Flash.

These days... (0, Offtopic)

Neticulous (900423) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086000)

Its all about the money... "Hey, this blogging thing could make me money if I spend 30 minutes spare time writing up random stuff!" REAL bloggers dont do it for the money, dont even have ads, and just do it to give visitors information about their personal life, or information on whatever the blogs topic is. If there were a new form of "blog" that didnt have ads, and werent meant to create revenue those would be the "blogs" to visit IMO.

Isn't tabbed browsing great? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086130)

A bit confusing sometimes, though...

Re:These days... (1)

blahplusplus (757119) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086216)

It takes time to write blogs, many peoples blogs if you look at the amount of crap they post simply must take up a significant portion of their time to write, so it's not exactly wrong for bloggers to attempt to make money through ad revenue when in actual fact if they can sustain it there is no reason they shouldn't attempt the smart thing to do.

replacing stress with guilt? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086008)

could work eye gas?

even more useful, although you are not likely to see it in amongst the 'stuff that matters':

breathing properly. for some reason that doesn't get a lot of press. could be because there's no phonIE monIE to be made on it? nothing to click on? no patentdead invasion of privacy payper liesense hypenosys to go with it?

from a related post:

corepirate nazi execrable costs outweigh benefits (Score:mynuts won, free again?)
by already_gone (848753) on Friday July 08, @08:57AM (#13012644)

as there are none.

fortunately there's an 'army' of angels, coming yOUR way

do not be afraid/dismayed, it is the way it was meant to be. the only way out is up.

the little ones/innocents must/will be protected.

after the big flash, ALL of yOUR imaginary 'borders' may blur a bit?

for each of the creators' innocents harmed, there is a debt that must/will be repaid by you/us, as the perpetrators/minions of unprecedented evile, will not be available.

beware the illusionary smoke&mirrors.con

all is not lost/forgotten.

no need to fret (unless you're associated/joined at the hype with, unprecedented evile), it's all just a part of the creators' wwwildly popular, newclear powered, planet/population rescue initiative/mandate.

or, is it (literally) ground hog day, again? many of US are obviously not interested in how we appear (which is whoreabull) from the other side of the 'lens', or even from across the oceans.

vote with (what's left in) yOUR wallet. help bring an end to unprecedented evile's manifestation through yOUR owned felonious corepirate nazi life0cidal glowbull warmongering execrable.

we still haven't read (here) about the 2/3'rds of you kids who are investigating/pursuing a spiritual/conscience/concious re-awakening, in amongst the 'stuff that matters'? another big surprise?

some of US should consider ourselves very fortunate to be among those scheduled to survive after the big flash/implementation of the creators' wwwildly popular planet/population rescue initiative/mandate.

it's right in the manual, 'world without end', etc....

as we all ?know?, change is inevitable, & denying/ignoring gravity, logic, morality, etc..., is only possible, on a temporary basis.

concern about the course of events that will occur should the corepirate nazi life0cidal execrable fail to be intervened upon is in order.

'do not be dismayed' (also from the manual). however, it's ok/recommended, to not attempt to live under/accept, fauxking nazi felon greed/fear/ego based pr ?firm? scriptdead mindphuking hypenosys.

consult with/trust in yOUR creators. providing more than enough of everything for everyone (without any distracting/spiritdead personal gain motives), whilst badtolling unprecedented evile, using an unlimited supply of newclear power, since/until forever. see you there?

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

Workers pretending to work? (1)

postgrep (803732) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086009)

Oh noes! A new epidemic!

White lies? (2, Insightful)

Heliode (856187) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086015)

When I read the title, I thought it was about the kind of white lies you tell users who get stressed out with their computer, in order to not make it too technical for them. "The big yellow 'E' was the source of the naked women who scared little timmy. Now when you want to get to your internet, just click the red fox on the blue ball. That's your internet now. Also, the blue bird with the envelope will get your mail for you now." Or when you try to hold your laughter when a user walks up to you and proudly declares he bought a "harder disk" for his movies, and just say "really? Thats cool." (pretty hard that one, though)

WHITE lies? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086040)

White lies are supposed to be the small, harmless lies you use to reduce friction when interacting with others. Things like saying "I'm doing fine" in response to "How are you", or "No, honey, that dress doesn't make you look fat."

What is so white and harmless about just pretending instead of doing the work you're paid to do?

Another ad on /. (2, Informative)

LBt1st (709520) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086041)

Seemed more like an ad for a book. I'll admit I only read half TFA because you need javascript enabled just to view the 2nd page. -Kevin

I suppose you could (4, Funny)

DynaSoar (714234) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086043)

You could spend a lot of time and effort avoiding working.

But that's work. A true slacker wouldn't. Nor would a true slacker write a book about it, or read one.

A REAL slacker wouldn't even bother to fini

When you're already there, it's too late! (4, Funny)

6Yankee (597075) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086059)

Far better to avoid going to work in the first place. If I'm going to slack on company time, I'd rather do it at home, or at the beach, or pretty much anywhere but work, thank you very much. And low-tech solutions are usually the best - the ones where you know some 1337 sysadmin isn't going to be able to dig up evidence against you.

My favourite low-tech solution, like so many good ideas, was invented in desperation. Beautiful sunny day, and I was supposed to go and cook hamburgers in a sweltering kitchen which was in an airport terminal - and the terminal was essentially a massive greenhouse. No way. There's really only one way to guarantee getting out of work when your work involves food, and that's to have food poisoning or diarrhoea. But everyone gets the shits when the sun comes out. No problemo.

I prepared a squeezy bottle, filling it about two-thirds full of water, cleared the route to the toilet, and put the lid down. Then I went back into my room and called in sick.

"Hello, is that Gav? ... Sorry, Gav, I'm not going to make it in... diarrhoea, I think it was the fish I had last night... Gav, I know every other bastard has called in sick already, but I'm - hold on!" With that, I ran, phone in one hand and squeezy bottle in the other, along the hallway, burst into the bathroom, flung the seat up with a clatter, sat down, pointed the squeezy bottle between my legs and down into the pan, squeezed it and groaned like hell. Squeezing and releasing the bottle would result in a wonderful mix between high-pressure-liquid sounds and farting sounds, which echoed around the pan and in turn the bathroom. Acoustically, it was perfect.

Finally, gasping, I said, "Gav, you still there? ...Sorry man... yeah, you're right, I'd better have tomorrow off too."

I had to buy some factor 50 sunblock so I didn't have an awkward tan to explain, but by God it was worth it.

Re:When you're already there, it's too late! (1)

markild (862998) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086127)

Beautiful.. Just beautiful! :D

Re:When you're already there, it's too late! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086167)

lol. Clearly you should be promoted to an executive level position. Or perhaps Congress. That kind of bullshitting talent shouldn't go to waste.

The Culture of Lying (1)

Blancmange (195140) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086071)

It's really scary that some people feel the need to go all Cathartic and use the term "White Lie" as if they meant it. Jo Hos go as far to call their lies Theocratic War Strategy. I'm starting to suspect that it's really true that hardly anyone in (the densly populated parts of) the U.S.A. can't cope with life without lying at least once or twice a day?

Lies are poison. People to habitually tell even small lies are doomed to have or to continue to have really crappy lives. No divine justice entity required.

Re:The Culture of Lying (1)

kmmatthews (779425) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086221)

I'm sorry, were you trying to say something comprehensible?

:)

Re:The Culture of Lying (2, Interesting)

CHESTER COPPERPOT (864371) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086272)

There was a book [amazon.com] out recently called the cheating culture [cheatingculture.com] . I highly recommend it as it points out the cheating is a systemic problem in all levels, from school to business, and that it's pretty damaging to long term values. It also points out interestingly enough that in a lot of other countries such widespread cheating would lead to a revolt however in America the poor can cheat just as much as the rich. So everyone gets into a self perpetuating mindset of 'everyone else is cheating so why does it matter' thus continuing the vicious cycle.

Smoke and mirrors (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086086)

For years now, machines are increasingly doing what people used to do.

An acre is about what one man with a horse and plough, can plough in a day. A man with a tractor and plough, can plough thirty times that in a day, with ease.

Design it, build it, then deliver it - the rest is information.

We now have machinery to process that information. This machinery is called a computer.

The information is:- What do we need? Where do we need it? Is the quality of what we need correct and are we getting value for money?

Things do not need to be sold, all that needs to be done, is the information of what we need and how to obtain it, needs to be collated.

All the people who travel to work to sit in front of a computer, waste a collossal amount of time and energy - they could sit in front of the self same computer at home. All the immence amout of time and energy that offices consume is wasted energy. All the time and energy building offices is wasted energy, all offices do is process information nothing else.

Perhaps the real reason it is so easy to pretend to be at work is it was not really work in the first place.

George Costanza's First Law (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086090)

Always pretend to be annoyed. People think you're really busy when you look annoyed.

This is why companies fall (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086101)

and people blame management all the time... tsk tsk tsk

I waste my employer's money the old fashioned way (5, Interesting)

museumpeace (735109) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086106)

I used to rename all the executables for my playthings to the application names for editing, compiling, archiving and so on. [Its good to have privs.] If they sniffed my processes, I look like I'm bustin my hump for 'em

Very interesting viewpoint (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 9 years ago | (#13086117)

From the article:
Saltzman says computer trickery has become mainstream as the not-super-tech savvy people seek ways of coping with a 24x7 work culture and the increasing inability of people to dodge uncomfortable questions in an era of "always-on" broadband, mobile phone and instant messaging connections.

Is he sure about this? I would like to think otherwise. Isn't it a fact that Albus Dumbledore and
Aragog die in the new Harry Potter books?

how is this news (1)

root-kun (755141) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086136)

ive been doing this shit to get out of work for 5 years or so :p

Tip for mobiles in the UK (4, Informative)

caluml (551744) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086158)

Tip: In the UK, forward your mobile to a friend, and get them to forward back to you. Anyone dialling either of you will get the "network error" message.

Oh, that's easy (1)

springbox (853816) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086229)

Where I work people don't care if I'm working at any given moment. They just care if I get stuff done -- eventually -- as in a reasonable amount of time. Whee. If people really wanted to waste time at work I'm sure they would have figured out a few tricks on their own by now.

What?? (1)

RWerp (798951) | more than 9 years ago | (#13086314)

He cited a recent case of nine-year-olds who scanned dollar bills into a computer, printed out the fakes and used them to buy snacks at their school's cafeteria.

This only proves that cafeteria staff was composed of idiots. It doesn't take a genius to tell the difference between a genuine bank note and a computer printout.
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