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Patron Saint of the Internet

Hemos posted more than 15 years ago

The Internet 208

Quite a number of people have been writing with the news that the Catholic Church is considering naming a patron saint of the Internet. The strongest current contender is St. Isisdore, an 8th century Spanish saint, with is created with making one of the first databases - a 20 volume encyclopedia.

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Re:thats nifty? (1)

vermiculture (14963) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850235)

Damn.....now religion is putting it's soiled hands upon our pristine enviroment? Is nothing sacred?

OLIPN (1)

Paul_Taylor (38370) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850236)

How about Our Lady of the IP Network? Would this make cracking a sin? Can we start an inquisition agains Windoze lusers? CONVERT! CONVERT!

Re:Ever lived in Belgium? (1)

deanc (2214) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850237)

Actually _every_ day celebrates the memory of a saint. Most days celebrate the memory of several saints, so there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, commemorated over the ages.

-Dean

Re:Saint IGNUcius! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850251)

St Christopherus keeps your car from crashing,
St IGNUcius your computer..

Re:You gotta... (1)

Ace_ (44146) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850252)

The problem with birth control is that it separates sex from the act of creating new life. This goes against natural law. This is also the problem with homosexual relations (note: the Church doesn't say homosexual inclinations are evil, it says homosexual relations are wrong). This is ALSO the problem with abortion.. Please don't try to tell me that you honestly think sex was intended for pleasure (that just happens to be a wonderful side effect :). -- A practicing Roman Catholic

Actually, there *is* a patron saint of television. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850253)

St. Claire of Assisi is television's patron saint. Apparently she was gravely ill during a mass she wished to attend. As she lay in her bed, she saw a vision of the church service projected onto her wall. This was, of course, back in the 13th century, before they had RealVideo.

Trippy.

Why not? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850254)

Heck, if the Catholic Church wants to its point
hat into the ring. Sure!

I bless you in the name of
the motherboard
the daughter card and
the holy web post!

Actually, the image boost would be helpful.
Plus the good vibes.

When your server meets the bloat code of the
Microsoftalypse, who are you gonna call?
St. Torvalds
Arch Bishop Malda?
Good God! IT'S THE BISHOP!

My sig's praire for $.02

Re:You gotta... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850255)

oh you're no fun!

Re:Saint IGNUcius! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850256)

Well the church is even more aggressive spreading their software than RMS..

Re:BBC News == Supermarket Tabloid of the Internet (1)

Ace_ (44146) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850257)

Actually the patron saint of students is St. Joseph Coupertino (spelling?)

Re:GOD? (1)

godel (15830) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850258)

Try www.god.org, www.god.net, and www.god.ca. They all exist, and I'm sure there's others....

---Jason

Re:St. Turing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850259)

Not possible. He was gay.

Re:Saint IGNUcius! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850260)

Another License - CPL? :-)

thats nifty (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850263)

kinda cool that everything is evolving to keep up with the internet.... too bad we can't name a god or two of the internet for the greek/roman cultures..

GOD? (1)

Mondongo (43895) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850265)

Who has http://www.god.com ?

Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

-stax (34630) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850269)

Lets name our own patron saint of the internet. Well, i guess we'd have to name a few saints first... Cybersaints.. Pascal comes to mind, any others?

You gotta... (0)

fuerstma (15683) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850271)



Gimmie a break. How about giving birth control a swing before we time warp all the way into the 90's and the Internet?

Re:GOD? (1)

scrutty (24640) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850273)

There's no website - prolly on the list of potentially offesive domain names

Hoorah! (2)

Stargazer (4144) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850274)

It's nice to know that in light of recent events in the United States, the Catholic Church doesn't consider the Internet to be a cesspool of paganism and various other Bad Things. (Note that I'm talking from the view of the Church here.)

And we _all_ know that if anything needs a patron saint right now, it's the Internet. An omnipotent God just doesn't cut it when the backbone goes down. We need somebody who really cares.

(All in the name of good humor, folks. :) )

  • Stargazer

Re:Saint IGNUcius! (1)

SkyWriter (12677) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850276)

Heh, the patron saint of sea monkeys, lawn mowers,
and convenience stores.

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

rwarfield (27024) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850278)

How about Babbage or Von Neuman? Bob

What about Al Gore? (1)

eyeball (17206) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850279)

What about Al Gore?

Re:Torvalds invent internet? hahahah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850280)

Al Gore invented the internet. Get it straight.

Okay, all silliness aside, Torvalds had nothing to do with the invention of the internet. That happened before he was conceived, as a matter of fact.

Re:God know... (1)

homebrewer (2857) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850281)

Saying that the Catholic church is now what it was hundreds of years ago is like saying that Latin and Church Latin are the same thing. They are not.

The internet, as well as many other things are a result of human inginuity. Clearly not all people believe this, but I believe that human inginuity is not something we made, but something we were given. I am confident you will disagree with me, and I throroughly don't mind at all.

How long has there been a Vatican Political agenda. Not long, the Vatican has not been a soverign nation until this century. This has been very good. It has made some official separation between the Italian political arena and the Church. Clearly, after hundreds of years of the Roman Catholic Church, it will be a while before the Italian part has a chance to fade. The Catholic Church is OLD. When you have been around long enough, people will sometimes do really dumb things. This is no exception. I hope that other people are more forgiving of your decision making, than you are of organized religion.

I am not exacly sure why I responded...knee jerk reatcion I guess. Not so much the aspect of faith, but the historical half-truths and bitter spin you put on the topic. Clearly, your convictions are deep-seated and I am not trying to "win you over." I'm just thinking and letting my fingers click away until I feel better.

This is Slashdot; you can do that.

Internet Saints Up a Couple Levels (3)

GenlyAi (42133) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850282)

This list got buried in the thread hierarchy, so I was jonesing for my 15 seconds of fame:

St. Marconi of Unlimited Bandwidth

St. Turing the Mystic

St. Hopper of Transubstantiation of Bugs

St. Ada the Inscrutable

St. Stallman of Hoofed Mammals

St. Torvalds the Flightless

and from Jimhotep:

St. Tesla the Enabler

Big deal. There's lots of patron saints. (3)

Norman Lorrain (11572) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850283)

See [catholic-forum.com] for yourself.

St. Isidore's already listed.

Re:St. Turing (2)

Stephen Williams (23750) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850284)

So? St. Mary of Magdala was a prostitute, and they canonized her. (At least, I think she's a saint. There are about a gazillion different Marys in the Bible. I might be confusing her with a different one).

John Postel? (1)

mwillis (21215) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850285)

Just wondering.

For those who speak spanish... (1)

Tto (52964) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850286)

Jaculatoria....

San isidro de Sevilla, sabio y escritor, Que mi correo no traiga un virus destructor...

St. Linus? (1)

EnderWiggnz (39214) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850287)

Well... i do know that there are a couple of things that are necessary before one becomes cannonized...

The miracles are probably pretty easy to take care of. Anyone who can understand kernel level code obviously has some divine powers...

but they also have to be dead, and i dont think that anyone wants to make linus a martyr right now.

Now Bill Gates... maybe if we sacrificed him....

St. Vidicon of the Cathode (1)

Bryan Andersen (16514) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850288)

It should be St. Vidicon of the Cathode...

Unfortunatly I'm drawing a blank as the the series of books that's from, or what the real anme of the character was.

What about Saint Dogbert? (1)

Brazilian Geek (25299) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850299)

Hey, isn't Dogbert the patron saint of something? I have blown-up of that cartoon around here somewhere!!

whoa! (1)

drwiii (434) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850300)

What's next, naming Judas the Patron Saint of Microsoft?

There has been no official statement from Rome (2)

Ace_ (44146) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850301)

"There has been no official statement from Rome ... "

This is very signifigant. Unless there is an official statement from Rome, this is just a rumor. I'm not saying it won't happen.. I'm just saying that it's not definite yet. At all.

Re:thats nifty (1)

hohakkar (56870) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850302)

The god-side is pretty much covered by Hermes/Mercurius. The greeks were smart enough to give their gods generic tasks so they can easily adapt to changing technology.

The use of the 'net for distributing pornography and quasi-legal purposes also goes pretty well with the characteristics of Hermes.

Re:Patron saint? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850303)

> The church is trying to embrace modern technology, when it can't get rid of it's old,
out-of-date, nonsensical values.

Sounds pretty Microsoft..

Hmm.. if Bill buys him popehood, he could
declare Windows infailible :-)

Re:You gotta... (1)

szo (7842) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850304)

Please don't try to tell me that you honestly think sex was intended for pleasure (that just happens to be a wonderful side effect :).

Of course it is intended to be pleasure (intended by who? I have to think you believe in a god), or else nobody would do it! It's just a simple fact of evolution! So when the humans reached a level of intelligence, connecting the sex with the babys, they also began to control it. See the bible, Onan for example!
Szo

Re:God no... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850305)

We're a product in spite of the Catholic heritage certainly not as a result of it.

I suppose that the renascence and enlightenment which gave birth to modern science just came out of nowhere -- a complete freak of history which occurred in spite of centuries of catholic-inspired anti-intellectualism. Western science, mathematics, technology, computers and the internet could just as easily have come out of Hindoo, Bhuddist or Animist cultures.

This pleasant little fantasy seems to be popular among those who can't stomach the fact that their precious computers would not exist were it not for the intellectual foundation laid down and preserved by Jewish/Christian/Moslem religions. Take a history of science course and come back when you know something.

Re:God no... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850306)

>Oh dear God no

Does anyone else see the irony in your calling on God for help in order to slam Him?

>There's is no room for God here.

I didn't realize that was in the InterNET ByLaws(tm). I'm so glad you've taken it upon yourself to tell us all the rules.

Re:You gotta... (1)

rwarfield (27024) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850307)

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate.

SAINT BILL??? (1)

KingBob (33381) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850308)

Why not???

The patron saint of the blue screen perhaps?

Re:BBC News == Supermarket Tabloid of the Internet (1)

nmarshall (33189) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850319)

no we dont, but it can make you feel better....
if the Vatican offends you, just pray to BOB, or Discordia, Cthulhu, etc...
it's all in good fun... :)
nmarshall
#include "standard_disclaimer.h"
R.U. SIRIUS: THE ONLY POSSIBLE RESPONSE

Re:Patron saint? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850320)

The Bibles are man-made. But the content isn't.

Top X Lines Uttered by the Internet Saint (5)

RimRod (57834) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850321)

1) "May all your segmentation faults be benign"

2) "That'll be 20 Hail Marys and 5 lines of assembly code"

3) "Thou shall not covet thy cubicle neighbor's video card"

4) "And God shall smite thee by sending a power surge through your CPU"

5) "God is compassionate, my child...everyone is tempted by the Fruit of the Tree of Microsoft once or twice"

6) "And Apple begat Macintosh, Macintosh begat the PowerMac, and PowerMac begat iMac..."

7) "And on the Seventh Day, Torvald created Linux. And Torvald saw that it was good.

Re:St. Turing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850322)

Yes, but St. Mary of Magdala _repented_ and quit being a prostitute. Christianity doesn't require you do be perfect from cradle to grave. The keyword is _forgiveness_

(Sadly, too many Christians loose sight of that.)

Re:St. Alan? (1)

IIH (33751) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850323)

Say that too fast, and it sounds like "Stalin" :)

--

Re:St. Vidicon of the Cathode (1)

Mr. Punch (58068) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850324)

I haven't read it in quite a while, but that has a Canticle for Leibowitz sort of feel to it.

Re:Patron saint? (1)

davedavedave (27890) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850325)

The content is badly translated and subjective to the writer's and translator's opinions and bias's.

Anyway, this is the wrong place for a spiritual debate.

Re:God no... (1)

0xdeadbeef (28836) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850326)

I've never taken a history of science course, but I see some flaws in your reasoning:

You neglect the influence of the ancient Greeks on those religious cultures, and on modern cultures despite the religions.

You imply that the religions are responsible for the intellectual foundation of Western society. Wouldn't it be more accurate to say the church scholars are responsible for it? It is the nature of those who would choose that life to treasure knowledge and history, regardless of religious teachings. With religion so dominant, where do you think academic-minded people would gravitate?

Now consider this, where is the scientific method in this religious tradition?

The internet and religion (3)

Ray Dassen (3291) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850327)

The internet is an equalising communication medium. As such, it's a place where catholics, atheists, muslims, hindus, gnostics, buddhists, pagans, agnosts etc. can all openly and frankly discuss their beliefs and convictions among themselves and each other.

If the catholic church were to declare a patron saint for the internet, that means the church either does not understand the internet, or that there may be hope yet for it to become less of a conservative patriarchal hierarchical institution.

Mary of Magdala (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850328)

Who says she was a prostitute? She was supposedly unmarried. You are getting popular interpretation mixed up with fact.

I'm sure the sexual practices (and other lifestyle choices) of Saints have little to do with their Sainthood. We know basically nothing about how most of them lived. There were no tabloid magazines back then to expose every detail of private life.

Re:Internet Saints (2)

suds (6610) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850329)

Why is everyone forgetting the only one St. Postel ?

Actually, there *is* a patron saint for cars (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850330)

Actually, there *is* a patron saint for cars -- at least, there is for hot rodders: St. Christopher. He is featured in many Robt. Williams paintings and many rodders, regardless of religious affiliation, display the St. Christopher cross from their rearview mirror.

Re:Whatever happened to... (1)

bishop42 (29231) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850331)

C'mon, everybody knows Kibo is the god of the Internet.... You think he'll just settle for sainthood?


I wonder if he'll see this post...

Re:Whatever... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850348)

It might sound crazy, but shouldn't the Patron Saint of the Internet be the man who invented the Internet--Torvalds, Linus Torvalds?

Hm. I can just see Linus introducing himself a-la James Bond: I'm Torvaldus. Linus Torvaldus.

Arch Angel Gabriel (1)

lameland (23851) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850349)

The arch angel Gabriel is the patron saint of Telecommunication,
wouldn't the Internet fall under that?

Re:Patron saint? (1)

Markvs (17298) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850350)

Out of date? Why? Because it's the 90's? Well, it was the 90's 100 years ago and it will be the 90s in another 100. The church's values are not the point of debate. You're talking about a religious organization that stretches the globe, has 1.1 BILLION adherents, and has existed for nearly 2000 years.

I personally am GLAD the RCC moves slowly. Society needs an anchor, a set of ideals that keep it civilized. Imagine had the church gone pro-eugenics in the 1900s. Many of us would no doubt be dead. (unless you're PERFECT in every possible way. Yeah, right). Et cetera.

The point is that the church is actually very good about keeping up with the times, all things considered. Why NOT a patron saint for the 'Net? It HAS kept up with modern technology... ever go to the Vatican website? Remember the flood of fax machines, computers and other stuff the church smuggled into Poland during the Reagan years?

Santa Tecla (1)

webcrafter (175) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850351)

We Catalan netizens already have a patron saintess: Santa Tecla (check http://www.antaviana.com/capella/ [antaviana.com] ). Her name, Tecla, means key.

Re:Whatever happened to... (2)

Ray Dassen (3291) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850352)

I'm no expert on voodoo (and neither is William Gibson I suspect), but from what I recall of Gibson's sprawl trilogy, "Legba" is a class of (semi)divine beings, rather than the name of a particular one.

Can someone refresh me on this one?

Re:You gotta... (0)

el_nino (4271) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850353)

Please define "natural law". Just because most animals have sex only for procreation, does that make it a natural law? If most people "choose" to use a proprietary OS, does that make it a natural law?

If I like having sex for non-procreational purposes, who are you, or anyone else, to tell me that is wrong? Yeah, define "wrong" while you're at it. If you mean wrong as in "not the way god intended it", then I'll be happy to disregard that argument, unless you can convince me that god created sex first.

Pleasure is not a side effect of sex - sex as a means of procreation wouldn't be viable without pleasure.

/El Niño

Arch Angel Gabriel (1)

lameland (23851) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850354)

The arch angel Gabriel is the patron saint of Telecommunication
(really, look it up!) . Wouldn't the Internet fall under his domain?

Re:God no... (1)

homebrewer (2857) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850357)

Yup,

The fact Algebra came out the Moslem world is unlikely a freak of nature.

I find it ironic that Newton concluded that being able to describe all physical movement with five simple equations was evidence of God.

Re:You gotta... (1)

bishop42 (29231) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850359)

Sex is pleasurable simply because there would be no reproduction without it. When you REALLY think about it it is a really sloppy, barbaric process that if you were in your right mind you would never participate in.

Well, most of us wouldn't...

Interestingly enough... (2)

lenthe (14112) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850361)

Before the pope declared birth control wrong in the 60's he made an advisory council (probably of bishops) which actually concluded that birth control was NOT wrong. The pope didn't take the council's advice, however. Also, the Church has made formal mistakes before. For example, the Spanish Inquisition, selling of indulgences, and the placing of Galileo under house arrest for the remainder of his life for saying that the Earth revolved around the sun (holy sh*t, he was right!).

I'm not declaring my stance on birth control here. I'm just saying that nothing is set in stone, not even what the Catholic Church teaches.

--Another practicing roman catholic/linux geek

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

ChrisGoodwin (24375) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850368)

I've heard Thomas Jefferson referred to as the patron saint of the Internet.

Commercial organization? (2)

Stephen Williams (23750) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850369)

www.god.com? Heaven is a commercial organization? Guess that explains where all the cash I've dropped into collection plates over the years has gone ;-)

God no... (3)

z1lch (35931) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850370)

Spokesman for the Catholic Media Office Tom Hallwood said: "There are patron saints of many things, so why not let the Internet have one?

Oh dear god no. I'm happy being a heathen without further indoctrination from a fucking organised religion as Catholicism which has traditionally been responsible for the alientation, persecution of many people advocating doctrines which did not fall with in the Vatican's political agenda.

There is no room for God here. We're a product in spite of the Catholic heritage certainly not as a result of it. If I want to pray it sure as hell will not to be what I am told is permissable by a body which murdered and desicrated scientists, philosophers, astronomers, witches...

I recant!

Whatever... (0)

metalman (33387) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850371)

It might sound crazy, but shouldn't the Patron Saint of the Internet be the man who invented the Internet--Torvalds, Linus Torvalds?

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

homebrewer (2857) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850373)

Hey,

I have a St. Jude medal I sometimes wear when I code. He's the patron saint of lost causes, my code sometimes needs all the help it can get :)

Re:Whatever... (1)

Microlith (54737) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850375)

no, Torvalds is GOD. Vinton Cerf is the saint of the internet.

Course, we don't really need the catholic link...

BBC News == Supermarket Tabloid of the Internet? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850377)

Patron Saints have usually been assigned to a persons' position in life (St. Thomas Aquinas for students) or some kind of a problem to pray for (St. Jude for lost causes)

There isn't a patron Saint for TV or automobiles.. Is this patron Saint for the Internet really true? Do we really need to pray for guidance from the Lord when MCI is having network probelms?

Help for Crashing??? (1)

NutZac (18515) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850379)

It is a good idea and might be able to help us all when we are about to crash.

How absurd. Try using Apache, instead.

Whatever happened to... (2)

jabber (13196) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850381)

Kibo??

And for that matter, Legba?

Though I suppose Isidore is appropriate for his accomplishments. Glad to see the Vatican is more techno-savvy than the extreme right-wing.

Patron saint? (0)

davedavedave (27890) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850383)

Why the hell would we want a patron saint of the internet? The church is trying to embrace modern technology, when it can't get rid of it's old, out-of-date, nonsensical values.

90's? try the 1900's first, then work up to the 90's.

Honestly, a patron saint of the internet? OK, and the point of this is what exactly?
_______________________
All Bibles are man-made

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

achim (3513) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850388)

I heard Al Gore saying he is the saint of the internet. :-)

Ia! Ia! Shub-Internet! (3)

Sloppy (14984) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850389)

The church has no idea what peril they are entering; they live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that they should voyage far. Sending your prayer packets to this so-called "St. Isisdore" only helps to draw attention to both the source and destination addresses.

"But whose attention?" you ask. Well, perhaps it would be better to ask "What's attention?" There are impossibly ancient hungers that lurk out there, furtively waiting in the dark until the comm satellites are right. And when the time comes, it will be both swift and agonizingly slow at the same time. A swift tentacle probing here, a ping packet there, and then you will be beset by the true horror: Shub-Internet, the black beast of the 'Net with a thousand bastard processes!

We already have a patron ... thing. (I guess calling it a "saint" wouldn't quite be right, huh?) Better to leave well enough alone, and pray (quietly to yourself, where nothing can snoop your prayer) that the dawn of Its era comes long after you are safely in the grave.

Re:Patron saint? (1)

davedavedave (27890) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850390)

Why NOT a patron saint for the 'Net?

I think the question is better as why? What purpose will it serve?

1.1 BILLION? Yeah, so, lots of people use M$ Windoze, doesn't mean it's a good thing, just mean they've been brainwashed.

The Vatrican has a linux kernel site (2)

cthonious (5222) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850391)

Did you all know that? the first time I saw that, it freaked me out.

It's funny to tell newbies they can download the latest linux kernel from the vatican's ftp site.

Here! The Greek Pantheon (2)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850392)

On Dec 11,1998 , Seth McQuale posted the complete pantheon on c.o.l.misc, Message-ID:

I was not able to fit the whole post in the Reply form (how do you do that?). For now here is an excerpt, but it well worth the effort fetching the original article from UseNet:

-Eos (goddess of dawn): goddess of the bootstrap processes (lilo, Drive A:, BootManager, boot.ini, IO.SYS, etc).

-Nyx (goddess of night): goddess of shutdown -h, screen blanking, and Jolt.

-Morpheus (god of dreams): god of vaporware.

-Muses (nine sisters, goddesses of respective arts and sciences): goddesses of Yahoo, and related Internet directories; goddesses of multimedia and multimedia plugins.

-Hestia (goddess of the hearth): goddess of servers and standalone units; patron of proxy servers and (with Aesculapius, see below) firewalls.

-Titans (various important, antecedant gods): Ada, Babbage, Turing, Hopper (goddess of _software_ programming**), Thompson, Kernighan & Ritchie, GHades (giving the devil his due), and many more.

-Ares (god of destructive war): god of flamers and flaming; also, patron god of all that is M$; god of Doom, Quake, etc.

-Pan (god of flocks & shepherds): god of NNTP; also, along with Demeter, protects databases; patron god of tarballs and PKWare.

-Hymen (first name, "Buster"; god of marriage): patron of device drivers; god of application suites (MS Office, Corel WP suite, StarOffice, etc.); god of Java.

-Eris (goddess of strife & discord--she began the Trojan War): another patron of Usenet; goddess of software copyright infringement. li>-Priapus (god of fertility): god of Internet; patron of the viruses that work by loading up one's ha unending Usenet strings and cascades; god of software bloat; god of AOL & MSN disks.

-Hermes (messenger of the gods, also, patron of thieves, highwaymen, and, I believe, of commerce): god of spam.

-Athena (goddess of wisdom, and all that is noble in war): (with Tux)Linux; patron goddess of GNU.

-Aesculapius (born mortal, deified as god of Medicine): patron god of Unix gurus; god of UPSs, spike protectors, firewalls, etc.

-Chaos: god of random # generators; patron of trolls; god of Error 404.

Re:Actually, there *is* a patron saint of televisi (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850394)

Are there saint for the other technological revolutions? Such as the steam engine?

hmmm... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850395)

...why does one Onion article [theonion.com] come to mind?

Perhaps the Church is merely coping with its relative marginalization from the glory days of when it had serious power in the temporal realm as well as serving as a spiritual influence...

St. Taco! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850397)

Because Stallman's already an arch-angel, complete with halo.

Re:Patron saint? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850399)

Assuming your figures are correct:

Please note that 1.1 BILLION is about 25% of the world population (last I checked). It might be even less by now.

Ethnocentricity has no place on the internet.

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

scrutty (24640) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850407)

Surely it would have to be Al Gore ?

Re:Whatever... (1)

teepee (47012) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850408)

Heathen...

EVERYONE knows the internet was invented by none other than Al Gore!

This is an accepted fact! Just ask him.

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

CJ Hooknose (51258) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850409)

Patron saint of the Net? No idea; the Net is still so new that it's hard to tell. Canonization takes a long time IIRC, at least 30 years, and it just hasn't been that long. Imagine the early Christians saying, "So let's get this saint thing going," half an hour after the crucifixion.

We could, of course, nominate Al Gore. :-]

Other cybersaints immediately come to mind. Babbage (Analytical Engine) and Turing (self-explanatory.) Continuing the Catholic analogies, we could just about beatify Ken T. and Linus right now....

Internet Saints (1)

GenlyAi (42133) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850410)

St. Marconi of Unlimited Bandwidth

St. Turing the Mystic

St. Hopper of Transubstantiation of Bugs

St. Ada the Inscrutable

St. Stallman of Hoofed Mammals

St. Torvalds the Flightless

Patron Saint (2)

lar3ry (10905) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850411)

[OBJOKE]
Al Gore was rejected because he isn't Catholic, and even if he gets elected, he'll only have one miracle to claim. [smile] This really seems like joke material. I had to check the date to make sure it wasn't April 1.
[/OBJOKE]

This really seems like joke material. I had to check the date to make sure it wasn't April 1.

All kidding aside, does the internet really need a patron saint? Maybe so. You see, this may actually help some technophobes overcome their instincitve Luddite fear of the net (remember the kids being "talked to" because they admitted to playing DOOM?). The technology can be seen as being "blessed" as it were, by the Vatican.

For its part, the vatican has been keeping tabs on the internet, with a web presense. Actually, only the Church of Scientology comes to mind as being more net savvy, although the stories associated with the Scientologists are usually negative with respect to the net.

The presense of the Vatican may be even more beneficial, as the internet currently has an image problem (maybe rightfully so) as being awash with pornography, weapons how-to's, and other negative things. Its nice to know there is a major organized religion that may actually champion this technology and help get it seen as acceptable for families, etc.

--

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

bushido (23357) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850412)

this seems a little more appropriate, less religious and more in tune (i hope) with the spirit of the internet.
although, sometimes i could use some extra luck when i'm trying to find something on the 'net...
never hurts to have god on your side...

A great choice, IMHO (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850413)

The Internet has always produced an overwhelming riot of new connections and fantastic stimulation; it was created in the wake of the Sixties by a bunch of longhairs, among others. Check the Lycaeum [lycaeum.org] for the identity of the plant teacher that our neighbors to the South call "San Ysidro"! ;)

-A very anonymous coward; we're still a very medieval mob, after all :(

Ever lived in Belgium? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850414)

I'm a heathen too, but raised Catholic so I _thought_ I knew all the saints. BAH! After living in Belgium, it turns out that there are at a minimum 52, because every week or 4 days they had another "Saint whoever's" day. Couldn't get any work done.

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

-stax (34630) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850415)

I have a St. Jude medal I sometimes wear when I code. He's the patron saint of lost causes, my code sometimes needs all
the help it can get :)


I'm not a believer, but i always carry a St. Jude medallion on me in my wallet. An old peruvian friend gave it to me.

Re:Patron saint? (1)

MacJedi (173) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850416)

well it turns out there are patron saints for nearly everything from 'the patron saint for victims of volcanos' to 'the patron saint for tv repair men'

and no, im not kidding...

Baron Samedi (1)

GenlyAi (42133) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850437)

"Hired man... there is a sick girl in my house. I hear the dice being tossed for her bloody dress."

I tried to remember the rest, but I think this says it all.

Re:GOD? (1)

red_dragon (1761) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850438)

Every so often, I see trucks from some freight trucking company that calls itself "G.O.D." rolling down the Turnpike, "G.O.D." standing for "Guaranteed Overnight Delivery". It gives you some sense of relief when you look thru your rear view mirror and see this big ole semi tailgating you and the first thing you notice is a big sign that reads "GOD", 'cause maybe God is driving that truck.

So, who knows? They might get the domain name, they got a reason for it after all...

St. Turing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 15 years ago | (#1850439)

I always thought Alan Turing should be the patron saint of something, especially given his treatment at the hands of the heathens. The patron saint of decryption, maybe? I'd pray to him each time I download a bunch of keys from distributed.net... "c'mon Saint Turing, daddy needs the $1000 prize!"

Re:Patron Saint by the Pope?!?! (1)

gavinhall (33) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850440)

Posted by CanSmegWillSmeg:

How about Ada Lovelace?

L8r Days & Waves....

Re:Internet Saints (1)

Jimhotep (29230) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850441)

St. Tesla the enabler

St. Alan? (2)

Stephen Williams (23750) | more than 15 years ago | (#1850442)

Surely he'd be "St. Alan"? It seems that saints tend to be referred to by their first names.

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