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Recent Solar Flare Could Disrupt Communications

CmdrTaco posted more than 8 years ago | from the my-communications-have-flared-up dept.

Communications 216

w98 writes "CNN has reported that the 4th largest solar flare in the last 15 years may disrupt communications. "Significant solar eruptions are possible in the coming days and there could be disruptions in spacecraft operations, electric power systems, high frequency communications and low-frequency navigation systems," says the article."

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Excellent! (4, Funny)

TripMaster Monkey (862126) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512389)


This ought to provide a good excuse for various network problems for a few weeks.... ^_^

Re:Excellent! (4, Funny)

Tackhead (54550) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512515)

> This ought to provide a good excuse for various network problems for a few weeks.... ^_^

Attention, troops stationed in New Orleans. Execute Order 66!

lol (4, Funny)

Idealius (688975) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512537)

Who are the jedi?

The looters?

Re:lol (0, Redundant)

Thud457 (234763) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512579)

Have they found out who's jamming radio communications in New Orleans yet?

Or was this one of them rumors you hear on the internets?

Re:lol (4, Funny)

Tackhead (54550) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512682)

> > > > This ought to provide a good excuse for various network problems for a few weeks.... ^_^
> > Attention, troops stationed in New Orleans. Execute Order 66!
>
> Who are the jedi?
> The looters?

"Yes, Lord! We need reinforcements, it's like a scene from Star Wars Galaxies down there!"
- NL-421

Seriously, I hate to duck a BOFH reference, but you know someone's gonna try and work the communications disruptions into a Katrina conspiracy theory... or use the expected communications disruptions as cover for a real conspiracy... or perhaps Karl Rove has a machine that can cause a solar flare, which is what he's using to disrupt communications as part of the metaconspiracy. Or all three, because making up non-falsifiable hypotheses is fun!

And on that point, I can only say "Ha Ha, Only Serious". The reason conspiracy theories have "legs" is precisely because looking for conspiracies (real or imaginary) is fun. Our brains evolved in an environment where the ability to outguess our fellow primate band members was an extremely useful survival trait. So not only is inventing conspiracy theories fun, it's fun for a very good reason.

So trust the Computer. The Computer is your Friend. Because it's not paranoia when they really are out to get you. (Confused yet? Good!)

Voyager needs the Jedi: termination shock region (1)

CDMA_Demo (841347) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512718)


Remember the Voyager mission? Every couple of years, deep space exploration vehicles experience the fists of fury from our very own yellow star. Check this out: Blast Wave Blows Through the Solar System [nasa.gov]

The solar wind clashes with the gases in interstellar space leading to ripples that can interfere with our communication with voyager and other such ships. The current flares will catch up in a couple of years but before that the voyagers would have experienced something else too. Read this: Voyager Enters Solar System's Final Frontier [nasa.gov]

O/T: Please DoS this phisher (-1, Offtopic)

RallyDriver (49641) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512712)

The following trojaned PC is hosting a load balancer for a network of phishing sites:

http://65.162.56.73/ [65.162.56.73] [65.162.56.73]

Spam is being sent out sending people to that IP, which in turn redirects to a selection of trojaned PCs all across the US.

If you have resources, please DoS port 80 for him.

The ISP whose network it is on has already been contacted, but they are being slow to act.

Re:Excellent! (2, Funny)

NewWorldDan (899800) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512715)

Personally, I'm waiting to hear how this is a result of Bush's environmental policies.

On the other hand, the 4th largest in the last 15 years. Wow, that's quite a record and part of a very disturbing trend no less. Time to move to the hills and hide in a cave.

Re:Excellent! (1)

Alex P Keaton in da (882660) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512736)

Har- don't laugh. I know I will use it for an excuse to not call people back, or to do the fake call drop on my cell. "I didn't hang up- it was the solar flares..."
Low frequency products: Soap, Condoms
High Fequency Items: Lube, Dirty Magazines...
This is a more serious issue now that many of us (18-35) don't have land line phones, just cells.

Get Ready For Apocalyptic Physics! (3, Funny)

geomon (78680) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512394)

The same process that creates Coronal Mass Ejections will finally free humanity from the constraints of energy dependency! Charles Cagle, friend to everyone on sci.physics and sci.physics.fusion has created an unlimited energy supply [singtech.com] patterned after CMEs.

But beware: you must never show disdain for the New and Apocalypic Physics! Disbelievers will be CONSUMED by the fires of the sun in a mighty CME that will lay waste to those who do not follow Brother Charley!

Re:Get Ready For Apocalyptic Physics! (3, Funny)

ErikTheRed (162431) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512460)

Oh come on! You know that major solar events like this are a direct result of the Bush Administrations callous disregard for the environment! They want more global warming so that they can pass emergency measures to further reduce the Bill of Rights and enslave America! Haliburton! Haliburton!

Re:Get Ready For Apocalyptic Physics! (0, Troll)

StarvingSE (875139) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512584)

Parent said Bush is bad! Mod +1 Insightful!!!

Kooks unite! (1)

October_30th (531777) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512486)

That is just so wrong. See Electric Universe [the-electr...verse.info] for the real truth about the sun and solar flares...

Re:Kooks unite! (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512528)

Don't you realize that Sun could make a lot of money if they broke free from the constraints of the algorithm and instead used an asynchronous, signal-based architec--oh wait, wrong type of kook.

Re:Get Ready For Apocalyptic Physics! (1)

egypt_jimbob (889197) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512524)

Chuck may have some problems when he discovers His Noodly Appendage [venganza.org] has been tampering with the data.

A comunitcations disruption can mean... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Crowhead (577505) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512395)

...only one thing - invasion.

Re:A comunitcations disruption can mean... (1)

Gadgetfreak (97865) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512599)

Hmmm. The news reports did say the Mexicans were sending some troops to New Orleans...

Re:A comunitcations disruption can mean... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512681)

Yes- because 500 mexican troops will tip the scales with the 11 million illegal immigrants Mexico has already "given" us....

Re:A comunitcations disruption can mean... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512605)

At least in your previous post [slashdot.org] you spelled 'communications' correctly..

Re:A comunitcations disruption can mean... (1)

Anonymous Crowhead (577505) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512628)

It was so far down, plus got modded flamebait, I felt justified in reposting it.

Re:A comunitcations disruption can mean... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512679)

Well, I think it was funny both times. The flamebait was uncalled for :)

Caused by ... (-1, Troll)

waynegoode (758645) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512397)

I wonder if Cindy Sheehan and others will also blame this on the policies of the Bush administration, the way they did [thepoliticalteen.net] with Katrina.

Re:Caused by ... (0, Troll)

geomon (78680) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512419)

I thought Republicans belonged to the "Party of Personal Responsibility(tm)".

I guess that only means responsible for the good stuff?

Re:Caused by ... (2, Insightful)

Rycross (836649) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512726)

Yes because I'm sure that Bush really could have reversed decades of environmental damage caused by previous administrations in a matter of 5 years. This is assuming that global warming even "caused" Katrina in the first place, which is doubtful.

Re:Caused by ... (3, Insightful)

geomon (78680) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512852)

Yes because I'm sure that Bush really could have reversed decades of environmental damage caused by previous administrations in a matter of 5 years.

The point to my comment was that, regardless of the circumstances surrounding an event in the history of an Administration, it is *always* the responsibility of the sitting President to respond to a disaster. Whether the disaster was worse because of some problems from a previous Administration is irrelevant to the people who are suffering through it. The fact is that you take the job of President to accept responsibility, not dodge it.

And I don't engage in debates of Democrats are worse than Republicans because I find them both to be two sides of the same bad penny. Bush is the President and has been for four years. Any attempt to dodge responsibility for anything that happens on his watch is just political grandstanding. It *is* his responsibility. The fact that Republicans have been preaching to the rest of America about taking personal responsibility for their actions makes his attempt to dodge it now all the more hypocritical.

This is assuming that global warming even "caused" Katrina in the first place, which is doubtful.

What caused you to come to the conclusion that it is doubtful that Katrina is caused by global warming?

Re:Caused by ... (1)

CmdrTaco (troll) (578383) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512424)

That attention whore is trying so hard to regain the spotlight.

Re:Caused by ... (1, Funny)

winkydink (650484) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512425)

Don't be ridiculous.

It's obvious to the most casual observer that the solar flare is caused by global warming, which in turn, is caused by the Bush administration. :)

It looks like a bad one... (3, Funny)

winkydink (650484) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512400)

from the looks of the picture on CNN's site, we're well and truly screwed.

Take a look at the LASCO or SXI images -- (2, Informative)

oneiros27 (46144) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512469)

MDI just showed a spot ... I have no idea why CNN thought that was a good picture.

EIT's in the middle of a bakeout, so you'll want to take a look at the SOHO/LASCO [nasa.gov] images, or GOES/SXI [noaa.gov]

See the NASA press release [nasa.gov] for more info.

Yeah wrong picture (1)

p3d0 (42270) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512473)

I think that's a transit of Mercury.

Vulcan (1)

benhocking (724439) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512512)

I think it's a transit of Vulcan [wikipedia.org] ! (For those unfamiliar with the rich history of Vulcan, you should really follow the link.)

And here's an even badder one! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512690)

Wow, and the picture [cairfl.org] on CAIR's site is even more impressive! Groovy!

MOD PARENT DOWN! (goatse pic) (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512709)

somebody shut that troll up.

Great... (4, Funny)

kaellinn18 (707759) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512404)

Cue a bunch of slashdot posts with people getting cut off in the mid...##KR2F@F@$F$ {NO CARRIER}

Re:Great... (4, Funny)

GweeDo (127172) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512499)

Why do you always assume people will post that? Some of us have oth...##KR2F@F@$F$ {NO CARRIER}

Re:Great... (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512552)

Why not truncation? Why only the "No Carrier" type? What's wrong with

Re:Great... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512753)

Because that's what happens to people who forget to preview before submit. It saps all the humor out of it when you're thinking they're an idiot.

Northern lights? (4, Interesting)

infolib (618234) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512433)

What's the chance of seeing them?
I live on 56N12E

Re:Northern lights? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512509)

Just north of Copenhagen? Pretty good chance. Just look, uh, north.

Re:Northern lights? (3, Informative)

jeffmeden (135043) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512530)

If you were on the spaceweather.com mailing list... You would know that the CME was from the sun's eastern limb and unlikely to produce aurora borealis for you to see (since you're at 56N), but since its an extremely active sunspot it could produce ejections in a few days that will hit the earth delivering some good auroras to watch.

I'm impressed (4, Funny)

Neurotoxic666 (679255) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512436)

Power outage? Communication disruption? On CNN?

Hey, I'm surprised they haven't used the T word yet =)

Re:I'm impressed (2, Funny)

Thurmont (712483) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512545)

The sun hates us for our solid surface and heavy elements.

Re:I'm impressed (1)

Ziviyr (95582) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512790)

Damned corona-heads are out to crash a soler flare into our planet again?

I hope we designed our ozone layer better this time...

Re:I'm impressed (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512623)

Hey, I'm surprised they haven't used the T word yet =)

What does Ted Turner have to do with this?

goldilocks and the three bear^H^H^H^Hfrequencies (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512437)

high frequency communications and low-frequency navigation systems

Thank God I only use medium-frequency products!

Re:goldilocks and the three bear^H^H^H^Hfrequencie (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512756)

I seriously doubt that. Medium frequency communications consist of radio communications sent between 300 kHz and 3 MHz. The only technology the general public uses in this range is the AM broadcast band. FM broadcast is very high frequency. 802.11b/g, cell phones, most cordless phones, satellite radio, and FRS radios are ultra high frequency. CB radio is high frequency. Satellite tv, 802.11a, and some cordless phones are super high frequency.

SpaceWeather. (5, Informative)

hot_Karls_bad_cavern (759797) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512445)

Here you go. [spaceweather.com]

Solar flares? But what about _lunar_ flares! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512534)

Here you go! [irishmedicalnews.ie]

On the convenient excuse for jammed coms (1)

Haiku 4 U (580059) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512451)

What a good excuse
for the communications [nfshost.com]
breakdown. Censorship?

Re: 4th largest solar flare in the last 15 years (4, Funny)

TaleSpinner (96034) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512470)

Damn that global warming! Now it's screwing up the sun!

Re: 4th largest solar flare in the last 15 years (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512779)

Everyone's got it so backwards and its really amusing. Global warming is caused by solar warming. This is directly related to the actions of previous democratic administrations, like Bill Clinton. Some like it hot, what can you do?

No really, check out:
http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/sun_output_0 30320.html [space.com]

FTA:
Willson said the Sun's possible influence has been largely ignored because it is so difficult to quantify over long periods.
End FTA;

As is the CO2 output and the temperature trend over the last few thousand years, which you would need to do to trend climactic conditions with a reasonable amound of accuracy to see where we are *really headed.

It's only been measured accurately for around 20 years, as has the sun's output. Coincidence? I think not.

Amazing how the solar warming trend is conveniently ignored by the birkenstock crowd when talking about this issue.

FTA:
The new study shows that the TSI has increased by about 0.1 percent over 24 years.
End FTA;
That doesn't sound like a lot, til you consider the temperatures we are talking about. and:

FTA:
A separate recent study of Sun-induced magnetic activity near Earth, going back to 1868, provides compelling evidence that the Sun's current increase in output goes back more than a century, Willson said.
End FTA;

from http://www.montana.edu/wwwpb/univ/acton.html [montana.edu] :
For decades, scientists have known that the surface of the sun is about 6,000 degrees Celsius while the corona soars to several million degrees.
end from;
6000x.001=6 degrees every 24 years. Since 1898, that's over 25 degrees C, many many more during periods of high activity. If the earth's temp management is as fragile as the GW crowd says it is, this has to have had at least some effect.

This change is inexorable, unstoppable. While global warming may, arguably, be influenced by people, solar warming, is not, and long term, no matter what we do, we can't stop it. As stars age, they get hotter...

l8,
AC

Kind of late... (5, Insightful)

josecanuc (91) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512484)

So these flares cause electromagnetic activity that occurs pretty quickly. According to the cnn.com article, their source was NOAA's Space Environment Center, and they handily included a link to said department.

According to the information at NOAA, the effects from this event will end by the morning of Sept 8. In other words, it's all over now, if you wanted to prepare.

Now, along with these often comes CME (coronal mass ejections), but this event wasn't facing Earth, so there won't be any of that material heading our way.

I have to ask what good it does for CNN to post this information as though it is an alert to prepare, rather than as an after-the-fact notice?

Re:Kind of late... (2, Informative)

Bob(TM) (104510) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512630)

A couple of points to keep in mind, however ...

* the active region will be on the disk for a couple of weeks and will most likely continue being very active.

* CME's can range in speed and have a delayed effect on the geomagnetic field. Granted, emissions at that point on the disk may not be well positioned for effect, there can be considerable delay in generating storm conditions. It can take many hours - it's a long way.

Re:Kind of late... (1)

josecanuc (91) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512674)

It kind of sucks then that CNN's article did not mention that with this historically-active region becoming earth-facing, we might see more of these in the near future.

I'm basically fed up with news these days...
I would wonder if CNN has any space geeks on their payroll whose job it is to say "hey, this doesn't say what happened in the most accurate way." It matters to some...

Re:Kind of late... (1)

josecanuc (91) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512697)

Nevermind. I'm a dope. The short article does mention future activity to be on the lookout for.

Re:Kind of late... (1)

jangobongo (812593) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512639)

They may have believed it was news-worthy due to the flare being the fourth largest within the last 15 years, especially for for those who like to follow science (like Slashdot's nerds?). Add to that the fact that this could just be the start - "Significant solar eruptions are possible in the coming days..."

Also, while it may not have been aimed at earth, it could possibly have been aimed at any number of space probes that have been sent into space. Does anyone know?

Re:Kind of late... (1)

Idealius (688975) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512640)

ah-ha!

You know I live in Colorado at more than a mile above sea-level and the last two times a solar flare was belatedly announced on Slashdot I had cell phone calls drop the day they were to have occurred multiple times.

I wonder if higher elevation significantly affects the probability of a solar flare disrupting communication with a cell phone tower.

I couldn't see that it would, probably just a coincidence.

Maybe it has to do more with the mountains in combination with solar flares.

NOAA Article (4, Informative)

Gadgetfreak (97865) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512485)

NOAA [noaa.gov] also has an article, [noaa.gov] with pictures and a movie, too.

FEMA (2, Funny)

fr3nch_com (913407) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512491)

Now they have an excuse to screw up even more.

In other news... (0, Flamebait)

suitepotato (863945) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512496)

President Bush was immediately blamed for the eruption as a result of not signing the Kyoto Accords and according the UN sources the possibility of sanctions was being investigated to raise money to repair the damage done to the sun by the imperialist USA. Slashdotters cheered like drunken revolting French mobs around a guillotine and began burning pictures of Bill Gates in a display of drunken ignorance of who was being blamed for what today.

Unfortunately, the story included a very artistic rendering of an orange instead of a dramatic, albeit stock, solar flare image. [cnn.net] It's just somehow not as dramatic and motivating that way...

Re:In other news... (0, Offtopic)

ArsonSmith (13997) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512649)

You joke, but the Kyoto Accords were created just to prevent this sort of thing. Of course the US just spit in the face of the rest of the world, again, and now we will all suffer from the suns outburst.

Damn GWB, Damn him to hell.

Re:In other news... (2, Insightful)

Rycross (836649) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512677)

The Kyoto Accords were made to prevent solar flares?

...

Re:In other news... (2, Funny)

ArsonSmith (13997) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512765)

With all the pollutants that are being pumped maliciously into the skies eventually float up to the Sun. As the sun orbits around the earth it scrapes through this layer of filth and causes damage to it. This damage will eventually erupt into a solar flare. This is the primary cause of global warming.

Re:In other news... (0, Offtopic)

dfn5 (524972) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512672)

President Bush was immediately blamed for the eruption as a result of ...
But seriously, do we not live in the 21st century? When the hell is GWB going to get off his ass and construct a tin-foil hat for the planet? This is totally unacceptable.

4th largest solar flare in the last 15 years (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512507)

I told ya... it's that climate change thingie!

Re:4th largest solar flare in the last 15 years (2, Funny)

Cat_Byte (621676) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512706)

This story is a dupe. I'm pretty sure I've seen it at least 3 times in the last 15 years. Besides if you watch Southpark you would know that global WARMING couldn't possibly bring on an ICE age.

Not All Bad (2, Funny)

Dr. Mu (603661) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512521)

At least while we're standing on our roofs yelling into our cellphones, "Can you hear me now?", we can be enjoying the spectacular aurora borealis.

Biggest. Flare. Ever. (3, Interesting)

MisterLawyer (770687) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512523)

The biggest flare ever [nasa.gov] recorded was on April 2, 2001.

This led to the coolest desktop picture ever [nasa.gov] (2400x2400, about 1 meg, be sure to wear sunglasses).

Cool quote FTA: "Luckily, the flare was not aimed directly towards Earth!"

Please. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512772)

These [hubblesite.org] are the best space-related pictures ever. This [hubblesite.org] is pretty good, too. Another [hubblesite.org] .

The sun is just a single, average star. Deep space is where the real beauty lies. I think it's interesting that some these pictures are actually billions of years old. Imagine if some intelligent civilization out there is marveling at new pictures of our galaxy starting to form billions of years ago.

I blame the Republicans (1)

Phurd Phlegm (241627) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512525)

Global warming is even affecting the weather on the sun! It's a joke . . . ah say . . . it's a joke, sun.

"low frequency navigation" (4, Interesting)

SuperBanana (662181) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512531)

"and low-frequency navigation systems"

I'm not positive, but I believe they're referring to ADF beacons, which are not used very much these days, except to confirm VHF beacons, and ADF technology is not terribly reliable (receivers can be fooled by lightning, for example.) Pilots are told to listen to the received audio carrier (which I believe contains a morse code sequence) to make sure they have a valid signal.

Given that GPS was relatively popular in planes even 15 years ago (before they had ILS-certified GPS systems, so GPS has only become more popular) I can't see this being a problem except for some parts of the general aviation community which haven't chosen to install GPS panel-mount units or at least buy a handheld unit.

I suppose they could also be referring to LORAN/LORAN-C (used mostly by boats, save during WW2), but...jesus christ, I hope nobody's still relying on LORAN...maybe as a backup to GPS, sure...but...yikes.

Re:"low frequency navigation" (1)

Red Flayer (890720) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512768)

"'and low-frequency navigation systems'

I'm not positive, but I believe they're referring to ADF beacons"


What about cetacean navigational systems? Why don't they care about the whales?

Re:"low frequency navigation" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512799)

Believe it or not, ADF is still used. Sort of.

A large number of aircraft instrument approaches are based on ADF navigation. Most, though not quite all, of these approaches allow the use of an approach certified GPS as a substitute.

However, not every plane has as an approach certified GPS, as they cost beaucoup $$$$$. A $200 handheld GPS from the camping store, or even a $1000 handheld GPS from the pilot shop, cannot be legally used.

But, the ADF, just like BSD and Apple, is certainly dying.

Re:"low frequency navigation" (1)

mdmarkus (522132) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512813)

Actually it just means they look at the map less often than w' high frequency navigation.

5th largest in the last 30 years! (2, Informative)

eMago (267564) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512542)

Not only the 4th largest in the last 15 years, but also the 5th largest in the last 30 years, which is from the beginning of measurements in 1976:

http://www.spaceweather.com/solarflares/topflares. html [spaceweather.com]

There have also been reports, that the 10cm radio flux with 27000 sfu has been even greater, than that of the 04/11/03 event.

Roll Humping (1)

repruhsent (672799) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512546)

So, I was banging Kathleen Fent last night and we decided to try something a little different. We decided to play "Hump the Roll."

It's very easy, really. You start by finding a fat bitch. This was easy with me, since as everyone knows, Kathleen is a fat bitch.

Next, you take her clothes off. If you have a sensitive stomach, you might want a barf bag for this part, as there is probably a lot of flesh that you won't want to see. Kathleen has many many square yards of flesh, stretching over her big fat body. I took her clothes off but I dry heaved a little. If I would have ate before doing this (as I'm sure she did) it could have been very messy.

Next, you find a roll. This isn't too difficult, if you picked out a fat bitch (and you did, since that was part of the directions). I picked one on her stomach, right where the skin creases from her navel (at least, I think that's her navel, as with fat bitches, the only way to tell is to roll them in flour and see if the spot is wet; if it's not, it's her navel).

This step is optional. If you would like, you can spread your favorite lube in the roll. This is mostly for the comfort of your partner. I didn't do this, as I don't really give a shit if she enjoys it.

Now, begin like it's your regular hump and grind that mother like there's no tomorrow. I did, and a few times I slid too far down and almost poked a hole in her gut. Oh well. I blew it all over her and had a nice child mix pool going on in her navel.

Lastly, if you're like me, put your clothes back on (I only pulled it out of my fly to do her) and leave. Let her clean the mess up, I say.

Enjoy this new sport! Let me know how it works out for you, and perhaps we can refine this new sexual move.

BOFH Excuse Generator (3, Informative)

pete-classic (75983) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512547)

BOFHs everywhere rejoice!

-Peter

fantastic (1, Funny)

tont0r (868535) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512562)

isnt this how the fantastic four were made? people hanging out in space and WHOOPS! SOLAR FLARE IN YOUR FACE! now you are made of rock.

Super Flare - IMAX-Does anyone remember SolarMax? (3, Informative)

Piewalker (777952) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512566)

Does anyone remember in the IMAX documentary Solarmax where a super solar flare is mentioned? If I remember correctly, a super-duper solar flare is long overdue, and it has the potential of wiping out our entire satellite fleet. Also, here you can find a more detailed account of the recent solar flare than the AP article that appears on CNN: http://space.com/scienceastronomy/050908_solar_fla re.html [space.com]

YO MAMMA HO (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512568)

Your mom could distrupt communications, bitch. She screams so loud during sex it goes into other frequencies and causes interferance, what a whore.

The Bush/US Bashing Thread (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512601)

Please use this thread to blame America, Bush, and his Administration for the flare... in typical Slashdot fashion...

0H N0! W3'R3 D00M3D!!111oneone (0, Redundant)

bibibibi (913431) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512602)

Get me some tinfoil hats, you scaremongers.

Here we go again (3, Funny)

Ryosen (234440) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512604)

In related news, oil jumped $5.50 a barrel today on speculation that the disruption to cell phones, caused by the flairs, would prevent people from checking GasBuddy.com as they drive around town looking for who has the cheapest gas. Congress is expected to wave its arms in helpless frustration, shouting out "Oh, look, An Eagle!"

Additional Flares May Be Coming (2, Informative)

north.coaster (136450) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512611)

According to spaceweather.com [spaceweather.com] , the sun spot that trigged this flare just became visible after transiting the far side of the sun for the past two weeks. Explosions later this week and next could produce some lovely September auroras.

Damn right it is (0, Redundant)

m50d (797211) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512613)

Took me the best part of two minutes to load this discussion page, and getting a reply page took anoø!%$^$@£ NO CARRIER

This is just scare mongering! (0, Redundant)

Cro Magnon (467622) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512615)

I'm not having any problems with !@#$ [NO CARRIER]

Dammit ... (1)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512638)

I knew I shouldn't have bought that satellite phone just yet.

Oh noes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512653)

run!

How long does a flare-up last?

It's the end of the world as we know it... (1)

Networkink*Man (468175) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512655)

First Katrina, then the lump in Oregon. Now solar flares?!

Apocalypse Now!

Bush's fault !!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512670)

First he whipped up a hurricane and slammed it into the Gulf coast, now this. I'll bet he caused these flares so he can hide his secret communications with the oil companies...Bastard.

Huricane Relief Workers (1)

RalphBinaca (703952) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512700)

It's already disrupting communications. Got a call from one of our Emergency Management staff helping out in Mississippi and he said "all" technology was down. It lasted about four hours and affected their satphones and wireless broadband. Ironically, they started working as soon as he got me on my cellphone...and yet again, I look like a God. :)

it would explain (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512702)

that rumor about jamming communications near New Orleans.

FEMA to develop plan to deal with solar flares (1)

WillAffleckUW (858324) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512710)

In an announcement next Wednesday, FEMA director Ima Doofus announced that FEMA was ready to deal with the massive disruption a week later than the event. "We had a really important golf game. Watch this drive."

In related news, the country of Belgium recently overtook the US in the size of their economy ...

. laugh, it's a joke .

On the other hand (1)

snowwrestler (896305) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512730)

It is helpful for getting that ringworld back into position.

CQ DX (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512740)

CQ DX CQ DX on 2 meters SSB.....

I for one welcome our Solar [%!Z$L (2, Funny)

WillAffleckUW (858324) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512752)

[NO CARRIER]

It's more like this (4, Funny)

robyannetta (820243) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512820)

Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Ray: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.
Venkman: Exactly.
Ray: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.
Egon: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston: The dead rising from the grave.
Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria!

Pull my finger! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13512840)

And watch out for toxic gas coming from Uranus!

Perminant Disruption (1)

OzPhIsH (560038) | more than 8 years ago | (#13512851)

Imagine there was a perminant, or at least very long term disruption of these systems. How would we cope? Are people working on alternative forms of communication, electrical, and other systems that are immune to these kind of effects? Just how long would it take humanity to recover? Would it even be possible? Or would such a challenge simply encourgae us to find better, different means to implement the functionality of those systems?
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