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How Zombies Work

Zonk posted more than 8 years ago | from the braaiiiiinss dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 189

Tsaroth writes "Just in time for everyone's Halloween fantasy, a horde of undead minions to collect candy for you; HowStuffWorks.com has just put up a new article about How Zombies Work. From Haitian zombies, to Dawn of the Dead it's more fun with corpses than you've ever had, hopefully." Ewww. From the article: "It happens in just about every zombie movie -- a throng of reanimated corpses lumbers toward the farmhouse, shopping mall, pub or army base where the heroes have barricaded themselves. The zombies aren't dead, but they should be. They're relentless and oblivious to pain, and they continue to attack even after losing limbs. Usually, anyone the zombies kill returns as a zombie, so they quickly evolve from a nuisance to a plague."

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May I be the first to say... (1)

Mateito (746185) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902354)

Braaaaains!
Braaaaains!!
BRAAAAAAINSSS!!!!

Re:May I be the first to say... (4, Funny)

j_kenpo (571930) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902453)

Just beware of the zombies that chant:

scroootum

scoooootuuuum

SCROTUM

They can have my brains if they leave the family jewels alone

Re:May I be the first to say... (1)

dmaxwell (43234) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902548)

Sir, I wish I had mod points. +5 f'ing hilarious.

Re:May I be the first to say... (3, Funny)

Kickboy12 (913888) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902614)

More proof that zombies are flaming homosexuals.....

Oh, wait... wrong meeting.

Re:May I be the first to say... (1)

use_compress (627082) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902663)

No, you may not be the first to say that. Look at the department the article was filed under.

Again? (1)

Raseri (812266) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902357)

I guess Zonk loves Zombies. To each his own.

Re:Again? (1)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902393)

Only on Slashdot would somebody hit the reply button after reading the headline, but not the summary.

Re:Again? (1)

tritonic (801760) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902585)

Someone clearly needs to send the link to Bill Gates [slashdot.org]

This is no joking matter, people! (4, Funny)

Saint Aardvark (159009) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902364)

A recent report shows that Philadelphia is completely unprepared for a full-scale Zombie attack [theonion.com] ! From TFA:

Federal Undead Management Agency spokesperson Dr. Sheena Aurora downplayed the ZPI report, arguing that zombies move slowly and can be easily overpowered. Aurora advised citizens to look over their shoulders frequently, adding that a large shopping mall can serve as a "long-term, even fun" refuge from zombies.

Such assertions alarm zombiologist Olivier Baptiste, who calls FUMA's information "hopelessly outdated."

"Dr. Aurora's claims are based on decades-old zombie models," Baptiste said. "Widely released evidence from recent years clearly shows that zombies can run just as fast, if not faster, than a living human."

Added Baptiste: "That FUMA trains its field agents to shoot zombies in the torso, rather than the head, demonstrates just how out of touch the government is."

/me scurries to secured basement...

al Queda has the Necronomicon! (1)

khasim (1285) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902433)

Terrorist forces are preparing to unleash an unholy wave of destruction as our own re-animated dead become their soldiers of conquest in America!

Petey the Pistol reminds you "Destroy the brain"!

Do YOU have what it takes to defend America against a brutal onslaught of corpses?

*Petey the Pistol is a registered trademark of the NRA. Blades do not run out of ammo.

Re:al Queda has the Necronomicon! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902690)

al Queada zombies would be no match for Ash.

(... Sound of chainsaw hand revving up ...) "Let's see how YOU like losing your heads! Give me some sugar, baby!"

Re:This is no joking matter, people! (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902568)

Only a total retard would confuse Pittsburgh and Philadelphia...or maybe a zombie.

That's Pittsburgh... (1)

Jack Nickel-ass (926795) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902639)

Philadelphia (which is coincidentally where the Governor hails from) has a much higher Zombie Preparedness budget. Philly would no doubt be able to stave off a zombie attack reasonably quickly, with teams of shotgun-toting farmers ready at a moments notice.

Too late! Already attacked American Idol! (5, Informative)

antdude (79039) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902881)

The Daily Texan [dailytexanonline.com] (with gross photographs) reports on Thursday outside the Frank Erwin Center [uterwincenter.com] , a horde of zombies attacked the "American Idol" [idolonfox.com] auditions. No one was hurt.

The zombies, 15 fake-bloodied actors in all, lurched out from under the IH-35 overpass and shuffled toward the Erwin Center, where they encountered the pop-star hopefuls.

Most of the 100 or so young people gathered outside had just been rejected by the "American Idol" review board, and they were talking, singing and waiting for rides home when the zombies arrived. "Braaaaaaains!" the zombies said. Nick Muntean, a UT radio-television-film graduate student who organized and participated in the zombie horde, added, "Television rots your braaaaaaains!" The pop-star wannabes were largely unimpressed.

Seen on Blue's News [bluesnews.com] . I wonder if there are video clips of this!

i have a problem (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902365)

Dr._Brian_G._Gilmartin-Syhness_&_Love.pdf

a pdf that highlights it

Howstuffworks. (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902372)

Next up: how elves, fairies, and eskimos work!

Re:Howstuffworks. (1)

slavemowgli (585321) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902409)

You may think it's funny, but the article is actually (to stay within Slashdot terminology) quite interesting and informative.

Ack... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902379)

Another Zombie story - it's like the Night of the Living Dead around here.

In other words, a typical geek Friday night.

Zombies! (5, Funny)

Trikenstein (571493) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902380)

Got these guys [fvza.org] on speed dial (just in case...)

Re:Zombies! (1)

miyako (632510) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902898)

actually I think These Guys [zombiehunters.org] may be more useful. Remember they are the world's premier non-stationary cadaver supression task force!.

I thought... (2, Funny)

Elitist_Phoenix (808424) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902381)

I always thought it started when you hadn't properly disabled the DCOM service!

Re:I thought... (3, Funny)

saskboy (600063) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902735)

Tell me about it. I forgot, and next thing I knew there was this undead guy trying to sell me a larger penis.

Zombie Simmulator (4, Interesting)

John Harrison (223649) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902382)

http://www.sothisisacomic.com/Zombie/zomb3.html [sothisisacomic.com] has an implementation of a zombie invasion simmulation and shows infection progessing through a city and the efforts of the military as well. An excellent resource for those seeking to better understand zombies.

Re:Zombie Simmulator (3, Informative)

Quinn_Inuit (760445) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902476)

That's based on something by Kevan, who also did the Zombie-based MMORPG Urban Dead [urbandead.com] .

Re:Zombie Simmulator (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902509)

I know Flash is the enemy of the people, but this is a nice little flash rendition of the zombie simulator idea [tomwalsham.com]
You can also change all of the settings, be a zombie hunter, as well as a zombie. Not much of a game, but the reactions of the people are good.

My Wifes a zombie (4, Funny)

Alex P Keaton in da (882660) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902384)

My wife seems like a zombie in bed sometimes. How can I get her to watch more porn?

Re:My Wifes a zombie (3, Informative)

zoloto (586738) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902441)

porn, ala visual cues won't work on women as effectively as it does for men. men are turned on with visual cues, women are more auditory/emotional.

Try talking to her.

Re:My Wifes a zombie (1)

Mateito (746185) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902478)

women are more auditory/emotional. Try talking to her.

Or look for porn with a love story and a decent soundtrack.

Re:My Wifes a zombie (1)

Alex P Keaton in da (882660) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902501)

All my porn has a plot- thats the difference between the $5 porn and the slick $25 vivid porn.
[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude]
Sherry in 'Logjammin': [on video] You must be here to fix the cable.
Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
That's my friend Sherry- she just came over to use the shower....

Re:My Wifes a zombie (1)

tepples (727027) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902550)

Or look for porn with a love story and a decent soundtrack.

Does "Eyes Wide Shut" count?

Re:My Wifes a zombie (2, Funny)

Chaotic Spyder (896445) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902915)

women are more auditory/

Or turn the volume up....

Re:My Wifes a zombie (1)

Rellik66 (596729) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902547)

Does sleeping with zombies make you a necrophiliac?

Or, is there some other term for sleeping with the undead?

Song Lyrics - Zombie Jamboree (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902601)

My wife seems like a zombie in bed sometimes
Back to back or belly to belly, you don't give a damn when you're undead allready.

Song Lyrics - Zombie Jamboree

Safty (3, Funny)

thesupermikey (220055) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902385)

Everywhere i go i make sure that if a Zombie busts in i am ready.

1) Look for exits and ways to block them.
2) make sure that there is aways blunt objects or shot guns
3) if there is a shot gun, and there is less that 10 shells. Give the gun to the weakest member of the party. They are goign to die frist, and there is little a gun with that few shots is going to do
4) what zombie moves everychance you get. Take notes on what goes right and what goes wrong.

Re:Safty (1)

Digi-John (692918) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902739)

No, don't give the gun away. A good shotgun makes an excellent club after you've expended all of the ammunition. Of course, if you happen to find a mace or something, use that *after* shooting as many zombies as possible... don't want to come too close to those creeps.

Re:Safty (1)

front (159719) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902887)

"3) if there is a shot gun, and there is less that 10 shells. Give the gun to the weakest member of the party. They are goign to die frist, and there is little a gun with that few shots is going to do."

I'll hcoose a gnu with a fwe shots if at lla possible... it'll give me tmie to scramble into a lcoked closet and hdie while the geek hreos come to the rsecue... eventually.

cheers

front

Fool Proof Zombie Survival Plan (4, Insightful)

fadeaway (531137) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902386)

Position yourself above the ground floor of a structure, then promptly demolish stairs leading to said floor. This technique will thwart both classic Romero style oaf-zombie, as well as the current new fangled fast and flighty zombie.

Problem: supplies. (1)

khasim (1285) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902461)

So you'll survive the initial attack. Eventually you'll run out of supplies.

Instead, get a boat and plan on eating a lot of fish for a while.

Do zombies continue to decompose? Will they, eventually, turn into animated skeletons?

Re:Problem: supplies. (1)

phil4 (666912) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902944)

Instead, get a boat and plan on eating a lot of fish for a while.

What about the zombie fish? You will be fighting them off day and night.

Problem: lots! (1)

BlackMesaLabs (893043) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902619)

What happens when the zombies trying to get you are trampled by 1000's of other corpses? they will pile up you know! Don't worry. Just use an unpatched windows box as a decoy!

Re:Fool Proof Zombie Survival Plan (4, Funny)

kakos (610660) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902823)

Or if you're so fortune to go up against Dalek zombies, you don't even have to demolish the stairs.

Zombies? (3, Funny)

Trogre (513942) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902398)

If I'd wanted to know how Zombies worked, I'd examine the logs of one of my many 0wned windows boxes over the net some time.

Oh, you mean real zombies!

Shaun of the Dead (1)

MBCook (132727) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902404)

The movie critics on a local radio show in my town keep a list of questions about zombies: like why are they always so stupid? Quite entreating.

But I'm writing to tell everyone of my favorite zombie movie: Shaun of the Dead [imdb.com] .

It is hilarious. Two stoners wind up in the middle of a city full of zombies and decide to be action heros. But it doesn't work out quite perfectly. Check it out this Halloween.

Re:Shaun of the Dead (1)

UserGoogol (623581) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902804)

They're not stoners, they're slackers. There's a difference.

Zombies ARE Dead (3, Informative)

Hulkster (722642) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902406)

As George Romero showed in Dawn of the Dead [dawnofthedeadmovie.net] zombies are dead ... but they keep coming back to life. Kinda like the inflateable Frankenstein that web surfers keep trying to kill. [komar.org]

More like a Slashdot dupe (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902598)

Slashdot. Our stores are like the Energizer Bunny - on a bungee.

What's the current over/under on any one story getting reposted, anyway? 13 hours and 4 minutes?

Zombies (2, Funny)

MarkRose (820682) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902413)

Killing a zombie with a severe blow to the head is too much work. My preferred way is with kill -9 pid.

Unless, of course, they are vegetarian zombies. I have lots of grains to spare.

graaaiiiiiins... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902732)

Graaaaiiiins!

lol (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902419)

L1nux users are just like mindless zombies.

Murrr... Open... Source. Grah... Linus...

Hmm.. (1)

bhsx (458600) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902430)

These days I'm not sure which comes in first more often. Fark often has Slashdot submissions, and they are clearly marked so. Lately it seems that lots of stories/links are showing up on Fark first! Since both sites are basically the same functionally, with a comedy vs. geek thing, I'm not sure it even matters. Just something that I was going to write a joke about until I realized I'm not funny (check my last link for example).
Anyway, when I first saw this on Fark I was hoping to get more of a The Serpent and the Rainbow breakdown of the drugs/herbs/poisons involved in the Haitian voodoo practices. Then I realized pretty much everyone is going for the whole Halloween thing now and ditching "real" articles.
Oh well, time to hit the bottle.

Re:Hmm.. (1)

Zathrus (232140) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902532)

I was hoping to get more of a The Serpent and the Rainbow breakdown of the drugs/herbs/poisons involved in the Haitian voodoo practices.

RTFA. The first few pages talk about the history and "science" behind zombies.

I found it to be well written, interesting, and humorous (the last portion, which talks about zombies in pop culture). And it even references the fact that you can download the original Night of the Living Dead for free from http://www.archive.org/ [archive.org] !

Printable (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902437)

The printable version [howstuffworks.com] has it all on one page. Repeat after me: the web isn't print. There's no reason to split this into 6 pages.

Only in an (old) Zombie movie... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902448)

...can you see our heroes run like hell away from the zombies, yet it always seems that their slow lurching pace still brings them closer and closer...

And their proximity always affects a newfound auto's ability to start with one turn of the key.

Incidentally, a co-worker of mine was one of the extras in that zombie movie shot at the mall. But he ended up on the cutting room floor. Strange, he always looked like he never took off the makeup...

Don't worry, Bill has the answer (1)

dedeman (726830) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902454)

I think these [slashdot.org] guys know how zombies work, and how to fight them.

Easy to prepare (1)

Eli Gottlieb (917758) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902467)

In order to prepare for a zombie attack one needs two things: The Zombie Survival Guide [amazon.com] , and of course, a holy symbol. Or is that vampires that need a holy symbol? Anyway, I've got my Jewish star ready!

Re:Easy to prepare (1)

bfischer (648685) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902749)

Make it a Jewish Throwing Star and you should be set.

Excellent book - I loved it.

Not undead (5, Funny)

zuvembi (30889) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902483)

We prefer the term living impaired, Thank You very much.

*ahem*

I almost forgot.

BRRRRaaaainnnzzz!!!

Re:Not undead (4, Funny)

Coneasfast (690509) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902552)

BRRRRaaaainnnzzz!!!

dude! you're totally in the wrong place! go look elsewhere.

Re:Not undead (1)

JonWan (456212) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902655)

dude! you're totally in the wrong place! go look elsewhere.

Nah, lots of brains around here. They should be real tender too, they don't get used much.

Re:Not undead (1)

darkonc (47285) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902839)

For the modern geek zombie, the correct cry is:
Need more CPUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuus!

The urge to see it all washed away (5, Interesting)

Y-Crate (540566) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902489)

I've noticed in recent years that a lot of people I meet secretly harbor very intense apocalyptic fantasies.

Not the "Oh wow, Threads [imdb.com] was some crazy shit, imagine that happening" or some religiously motivated desire to bring about a biblical event, but a genuine sense of "Go on, fuck it, let the zombies rise, let the plagues spread and if I'm lucky I can ride it out."

When the fake news reports appeared regarding a disease in Cambodia that briefly animated the dead, the most common first reaction I encountered by those who believed it to be from a reputable source was "Fuck YES". For a moment, I was aghast, and then I realized part of me was whispering the same thing.

Zombies in Reality (1)

drijen (919269) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902502)

Sorry no pertinent links, but there are ways to create a zombie in real life. Certain african tribes possess a poisonous powder, that when blown into an enemy's face will cause convulsions, and then a deep coma. When the victim awakens, all of his/her high level mental facilities are gone, and is only able to accomplish teh simplest commands: kill, walk, etc.

All of this was depicted in a grand series of b-rated movies, but this stuff does have scientific foundations. This information has deep roots in African lore, as well as some of the darker Christian texts. While none of this can be proven conclusivly, the point is - its possible :)

Re:Zombies in Reality (5, Interesting)

Mistshadow2k4 (748958) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902625)

Do a search on Clairvius Narcisse. Still not conclusive proof for the zombie drug, but the facts are: the man was supposed to be dead and buried when he turned up 18 years later. It took him months to recover from near-catatonia and he claimed to ahve sold as a zombie slave. He was afraid to go home for some time after that because he believed his brother was involved in what happened to him. After his brother died, he finally re-united with the family who thought he's been dead for 20 years.

The story of Clairvius Narcisse [abc.net.au]
Wikipedia entry [wikipedia.org]
Passage of Darkness [webster.edu]

Perfect subject to research for Halloween, huh?

Slashdot is like reading Fark 8 hours earlier (1)

loomis (141922) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902503)

I keep seeing things taken from Fark.com on Slashdot more and more often. This was posted on Fark at 1:25 PM here: Zombies [fark.com] . Is this site simply becomming a place where the more interesting Fark articles get a second printing?

Friggin press release (0)

Lord_Dweomer (648696) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902506)

I'll save you guys the trouble of looking at the site....its just a press release to try to drum up some Halloween traffic with what amounts to an article about the history of zombies and what people thought caused it. Nothing to great.

Don't Forget: The Zombie Anti-Defamation League (5, Interesting)

xeoron (639412) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902507)

While on the subjuct: The Zombie Anti-Defamation League [ookee.com] has their own take on the nature of being a Zombie. Most of it is very funny. The sections on Flesh Eating Virus (such as, "doing ministry work"), Practical Zombriety, General Faq ("4. Are Zombies dangerous? - No, no, no, no, no! Well, maybe. If vexed. Are the living dangerous? ...), Zombie Spirituality, and Brain Eating ( "...Yes Zombies eat Brains, but only on certain holidays or under special circumstances. This practice's origin is twofold: Practicality and the teachings of Zombie Jesus....") are worth reading.

The man page states the following:
" Our mission is to act as a consciousness raising guide to counter the lies, misrepresentations, exploitation of Zombies by the Vitalist Machine of Propaganda that is Hollywood and "Popular Culture" in the world.

Too long have our Zombie Sisters and Brothers been represented as mindless aggressive flesh eaters, bent only on the destruction of the Living. The Truth, as is so often the case, is very different.

Please take time to explore our site and learn the Truth about Zombies. Here, the true causes and conditions of Zombiedom will be explained and the lies will be show for what they are.

Rise and Fight the Vitalist Hate Machine!"

Not what I expected (5, Funny)

earthforce_1 (454968) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902520)

I was expecting an article describing how home PCs are attacked and turned into remotely controlled spambots.

Funny Hell! Wrong Mod! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902883)

Seriously, I did too.

There have been lots of articles lately on Zombie machine spawned issues.

Logically one would expect someone to dissect how these zombie networks work?

I know its been done, and I should just search for it, but hell this is news for nerds I come here for my nerdly news.

Need help. (4, Funny)

Fallingcow (213461) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902526)

I'm currently fighting off a zombie attack, so I don't have time to RTFA.

Could someone please summarize the part about how to kill them?

Also, how do you treat a zombie-bite wound? Band-aids, some neosporin? This one on my ankle hurts like a bitch, and it's starting to go kinda numb around it.

K thx bye.

Re:Need help. (2, Funny)

Bullet-Dodger (630107) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902757)

Just run it under a cold tap.

what do we want? (5, Funny)

philo_enyce (792695) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902540)

what do we want?
brains!
when do we want it?
brains!

Don't Panic (1)

NiTr|c (130325) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902542)

Ah yes, the number one rule in any situation, including Zombie Self Defense. Don't Panic. Rule two is, of course, always have your towel!

ZOMBIES RULE! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902555)

http://www.rodargent.com/ [rodargent.com]

Zombies are evil (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902567)

I wonder if this has any relation to Mr. Brain's recent denouncement of God [blogspot.com] .

Zombie Survival Guide (3, Informative)

flogger (524072) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902578)

Nothing taught me more about the Zombie Survival Guide. [zombiesurvivalguide.com] It is a great book, humorous in its subdued delivery and content. Great stuff!

Be Careful! (4, Informative)

miyako (632510) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902590)

For the few of the who actually RTFA I would suggest taking extreme care. The article makes many false statements about the undead hoards and may lead some into the false idea that they were prepared for a zombie outbreak. For the record, a Zombie is a corpse which has been infected with the virus Solanum. The bites are infact 100% contagous. The rough time from a bite to full transformation is 15 hours, although this varies based on how close to a major vein or artery the bite occured. The bite leads to apparent death, followed by rising no more than 2 minutes after initial death.
A zombie can only be stopped by destroying the brain. This is usuallly accomplished through the use of a bullet. Fire can effectively destroy the brain- however be aware that setting a zombie on fire is not a sure thing, often times the fire will go out before destroying the brain, and in the mean time the flaming zombies will catch fire to the surrounding areas. .22 caliber bullets are often rarely effective for fighting zombies as they lack the power to penetrate a skull from a distance. Air rifles are useless. Shotguns are often ineffective as they spread the blast over a large area. If you find yourself in the midsts of a zombie outbreak also be sure to avoid fully automatic weapons. It only takes 1 bullet to the brain to stop a zombie, and a fully automatic weapon can encourage the wasting of bullets. The sound will also have a tendancy to draw the undead from the surrounding areas. Often times a blade such as a sholin spade or a sword can be highly effective. A blade never needs to be reloaded.
A few more tips should a zombie outbreak occur:
Always be prepared, stay in good physical condition and keep a supply of food, water, medical supplys and weapons on hand.
In a zombie outbreak other humans may be as or more dangerous than the undead.
Should people start evacuation you would be better off to wait until the roads have had a chance to clear if you are going to be using a vehicle, however using an automobile is often a poor way to travel when a zombie outbreak occurs as you will likely find streets block and lacker manuverability. Dirt bikes can be useful in helping you speed away off road but the sound can draw in zombies and they require gas. Your best option is a bicycle.
For more information read The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks [amazon.com] (Link is not a referer link).

Re:Be Careful! (1)

drakethegreat (832715) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902608)

When I saw the title I thought it was about zombie machines. Just goes to prove how geeky I truly am! I guess I need more Halloween spirit.

joke.... (5, Funny)

zeroclash (735824) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902602)

Whats a vegetarian zombie say?

GRRAAAAIINNNSS ;)

Re:joke.... (1)

Jim Haskell (162156) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902826)

What does a zombie plumber say?

DRRAAAAAIIINNS.

In the great words of George Carlin... (1)

cr@ckwhore (165454) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902603)

... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable!

Dupe (2, Funny)

Smallpond (221300) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902605)

There was just an article on how MicroSoft fights Zombies [slashdot.org] . Oh, wait.

Vegetarian zombie (1)

ndogg (158021) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902626)

PETA has a vegetarian zombie comic book character:
Zombie Kid and Jim Mahfood [peta2.com]

Is there anything stranger out there?

Special time/space distorting powers (1)

Nazo-San (926029) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902634)

Really, zombies aren't so frightening except for their absolutely amazing ability to just shamble along slowly dragging their ruined feet and yet, somehow the frightened heros running from them with all their might can only stay JUST ahead.

Kuro5hin got here first (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902641)

I for one welcome... (1)

Brad1138 (590148) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902645)

Our new Zombie Overlords!

I think there leaders name is Rob.

The problem with Zombies... (1)

stox (131684) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902657)

is that they don't work. Visit your local DMV for a clear demonstration.

I know how Zombies work.... (1)

Brad1138 (590148) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902662)

I mail stuff often at the Post Office.

Braiiiinnsss......... (1)

rathehun (818491) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902675)

As a member of the Undead Horde [kevan.org] , let me be the first to post this. Join usss...

kthx,R.

For one terrifying moment... (1)

waferhead (557795) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902696)

For one terrifying moment I thought /. was posting a detailed article on how spam zombies work, and how to detect and kill them.

Nevermind, back to the pre-halloween stuff.

Some of us are vegetarians... (1)

Foxxz (106642) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902702)

You insensitive clods! We enjoy

Graaaaiiiinnnnsssssss!

-Foxxz

Uhh... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#13902713)

...and how is this relevant to "News for Nerds. Stuff that matters." ?

Am I alone or .... (1)

Allnighterking (74212) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902724)

Did anyone else think that this was a same day dupe of the article about M$ doing Zombie testing to combat spammers?

Magic Zombie Power Source? (1)

seven of five (578993) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902728)

I always wondered why, if most of 'em don't have anything to eat, why they don't just slow down/pass out after a few hours? What makes 'em go?

On Slashdot, public relations articles are king. (1)

Futurepower(R) (558542) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902765)

Quote: "Science: How Zombies Work"

On Slashdot, zombies are science. The Slashdot article also advertises How Stuff Works.

Cars That Make Their Own Fuel [slashdot.org] are science, even though the cars are fueled with heavy blocks of Magnesium. The article also advertises an "investment opportunity" that seems fraudulent to me.

On Slashdot, Pillows that attack you while you sleep [slashdot.org] are science. (To me, that's far scarier than zombies.) The article also advertises an opportunity to contribute money to a "charity" that benefits pharaceutical companies.

On Slashdot, Men are more intelligent than women [slashdot.org] . The article advertises a university researcher.

On Slashdot, new methods of data compression [slashdot.org] can compress data much more than mathematics says is possible. The article advertises a company's press release.

On Slashdot, It is possible to get huge quantities of oil from shale [slashdot.org] . The article advertises Shell, and a scheme for further corrupting the government that could pay the corrupters billions of taxpayer money.

Re:On Slashdot, public relations articles are king (1)

Creepy Crawler (680178) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902925)

Please, somebody mod the anti-semetic douchebag down.

(for anti-semetic comments, read his first link... Enough for me.)

zombies, balderdash! (1)

swschrad (312009) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902914)

there are no zombies. the political-types that lurch around violating laws and abusing the people are not zombies, they are just naturally gray and stinky ;)

Animators, Inc to the rescue? (1)

Buran (150348) | more than 8 years ago | (#13902940)

I think calling Anita Blake would be a good idea right about now. Sadly, she's probably off screwing Jean-Claude again. (Which makes me wonder how long it will be before "How Vampires Work" appears!)
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