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Get RSS Feeds on Your Toilet Paper

CmdrTaco posted more than 8 years ago | from the raising-the-bullshit-detector dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 247

0110011001110101 writes "A crazy new product out of Taiwan seems to be aimed at the feed dependent of us out there. The 'rsstroom reader' is a bathroom gadget that prints news feeds onto your T-P - that's right, your TOILET PAPER! The best part is the "biometrics" toilet seat that'll figure out who you are based on your weight and prints the news you want - not your roommates tabloid garbage. Going to the rsstroom will never be boring again! Heres a close-up image of this new gadget."

cancel ×

247 comments

The Island (2, Insightful)

biocute (936687) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212836)

Just like Ewan McGregor's urine is used to determined what he can/cannot eat on that day.

You would think that with technology this advanced (the Taiwanese one, not McGregor), yet we can't put a feasible breathalyzer in the car and determine if a driver is under the influence or speeding.

And what happens when these toilet paper with Slashdot RSS clogged up the toilet?

Re:The Island (5, Funny)

cpn2000 (660758) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213018)

And what happens when these toilet paper with Slashdot RSS clogged up the toilet?

Well, it means you've just slashdotted your toilet.

Re:The Island (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213069)

WOW, you can determine if someone is speeding with a breathalyzer.... golly, that's the coolest thing ever.

Re:The Island (2, Informative)

Mutiny32 (932593) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213078)

Actually, they can put a breathalyzer in your car. A friend of mine's next door neighbor had one in her car that would not allow the car to start if she had alcohol in her system. Yes, it was court mandated.

Re:The Island (1)

Pantero Blanco (792776) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213082)

"You would think that with technology this advanced (the Taiwanese one, not McGregor), yet we can't put a feasible breathalyzer in the car and determine if a driver is under the influence or speeding."

I don't think technology is really the issue there... It's a combination of lack of resources and fear of an indignant public. I wouldn't want to drive a car with a device like that in it (excluding rentals, the protection of which could be a legitimate use of the device).

Best Use For Toilet Paper: +1, Creative (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213124)


is Shitheads-For-Crime [whitehouse.org] .

Thanks in advance.

Judicially,
Kilgore Trout, M.D.

FAKE! (5, Informative)

Emrikol (21551) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212839)

I call fake! It looks exactly like a Zebra XI [google.com] printer, with a nice photoshop job! FAKE FAKE!

Re:FAKE! (1)

nb caffeine (448698) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212878)

I thought it looked awful similar to (larger) label printers. I guess, if you want to wipe with the paper that comes out of those, more power to you.

how do you print on TP? (1)

EccentricAnomaly (451326) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212990)

to print on a decent grade of TP would be quite a feat...

Re:FAKE! (3, Interesting)

MankyD (567984) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212895)

Right. You'll note that if you look at the inside of the supposed TP roll, it's not your standard brown paper tube (nor does it resemble one at all.)

Re:FAKE! (1)

biocute (936687) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212896)

I also believe it's a fake, because with a printing machine this big, they might as well hang some traditionaly toilet paper on it, and use this machine to output something on a LCD display.

Re:FAKE! (1)

waif69 (322360) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213109)

You can still make it a lot smaller, the thermal printer idea seems like a waste. Use regular TP and install a LCD to the biometric seat to display the RSS stories.

It's a CONCEPTUAL product (4, Informative)

winkydink (650484) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212930)

From TFA:

[note: the rsstroom reader(TM) is a conceptual product by dj spyhunter]

I'm not sure how one would fake a concept.

Re:It's a CONCEPTUAL product (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213169)

Ah, Slashdot posting non-news stories as news! I never would've thought...

Re:FAKE! (1)

kludgist (930004) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212936)

Also, I can't find the company (Yi Tien Electronics) on the web.

Re:FAKE! (4, Funny)

newell98 (539530) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212956)

From TFA: [note: the rsstroom reader(TM) is a conceptual product by dj spyhunter]

Slashdot takes one step closer to becoming The Onion...

Re:FAKE! (3, Funny)

whitehatlurker (867714) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213189)

Slashdot takes one step closer to becoming The Onion...

Woo-hoo ... oh, you meant that as a bad thing. Sorry.

Re:FAKE! (2, Funny)

AKAImBatman (238306) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212989)

Too bad. I was just getting a kick out of misreading the summary:

The best part is the "biometrics" toilet seat that'll figure out who you are based on your weight and prints

I wonder what prints they're talking about...

Commas (or unintentional lack thereof) are a wonderful thing. :-)

Re:FAKE! (1)

toleraen (831634) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213002)

And here I was all excited that I might not have to bring my lappy into the bathroom anymore

Re:FAKE! (4, Insightful)

OverlordQ (264228) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213013)

from the raising-the-bullshit-detector dept.

It's Funny. Laugh


As if you couldn't tell already?

Re:FAKE! (1)

phonex98 (686395) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213135)

i call RTFA directly from the article "note: the rsstroom reader(TM) is a conceptual product by dj spyhunter"

Retaliate by slashdotting his server (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213138)

Fakers must be punished. Everyone must try to visit his site. Do it over and over for the next few days.

Re:FAKE! (1)

llvllatrix (839969) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213185)

I wonder how difficult it would be to actually make one...hmmm...would I be a Linux fanboy if I woke up one morning and installed Linux on my toilet?

What a shitty idea (4, Funny)

winkydink (650484) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212844)

Well, the content of most rss feeds does befit the product.

Forget RSS feeds. (5, Funny)

Seumas (6865) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212845)

I have a better - and far more fitting - idea. Blogs on toilet paper.

Re:Forget RSS feeds. (1)

B3ryllium (571199) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212954)

Most blogs have RSS feeds. In fact, I think they've helped popularize the format.

Re:Forget RSS feeds. (1)

Seumas (6865) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213012)

I'm not sure that's accurate. At least, the first part of it. I recall seeing an article on Slashdot awhile ago that most webmasters don't even know what an RSS feed is. And I'm sure we've all been to plenty of sites where we thought "I'm going to add this to my RSS reader", only to find that we can't find an RSS link anywhere... not even a crappy ATOM link.

Re:Forget RSS feeds. (1)

B3ryllium (571199) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213163)

A few, I admit; however, Livejournal and Blogspot support RSS, so doesn't that cover most of the collective blogging environments? :)

Re:Forget RSS feeds. (4, Funny)

leamas (537377) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213035)

So rather than call it bog roll, we can now refer to it a blog roll?

Re:Forget RSS feeds. (1)

laemas (231722) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213050)

Damn it, that was me. Stupid nicks that are the same except fopr 1 transposed letter....

Patriot Act Renewed (0, Troll)

CmdrTaco (troll) (578383) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212850)

NT

People won't want this (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212854)

Too much concern over viruses and back doors.

Slashdot on the Pot (1)

mkw87 (860289) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212855)

What I've always wanted!

Re:Slashdot on the Pot (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212966)

Mod up parent!!!

Re:Slashdot on the Pot (1)

kermitthefrog917 (903403) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213061)

The question is... does it run Linux? Hides in the bathroom... realizes it runs Windows and is instantly compromised by his hacked toilet paper dispenser...

CICO (4, Funny)

Soko (17987) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212856)

How apropos, given the state of most content on the Web.

Crap In, Crap Out.

Soko

Re:CICO (1)

kermitthefrog917 (903403) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213023)

CRAP... in traditional GPL recursive naming system
>br> C crap
R RSS feeds in an
A advanced
P product

On your mark... (1)

Jhon (241832) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212857)

Get set... GO!

Que the "Anal fissures due to allergic reactions to ink" lawsuits.

RSS on toilet paper? (5, Funny)

plover (150551) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212862)

RSS on toilet paper?

"No shit?"

Re:RSS on toilet paper? (1)

giel (554962) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213122)

Yeah... It's called podcasting.

Afraid of link. (4, Funny)

hal2814 (725639) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212867)

I'm kind of afraid to click a "close-up" image of a device that's used on the toilet. It's not a picture of a live demo is it?

Re:Afraid of link. (4, Funny)

flood6 (852877) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213178)

If you've been reading slashdot comments for a while you shouldn't have any problems. With all the tubgirl and goatse images that get posted in here, seeing even the fattest, harriest of men engaged in a "regular" bowel movement shouldn't even make you blink.

Looks like a Zebra printer (1)

jacobcaz (91509) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212869)

Does this put into perspective the quality of most RSS feeds maybe?

Also, does this look like just a modified Zebra printer to anyone else?

This is going too far (4, Funny)

qwijibo (101731) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212871)

I used to have a terminal in my bathroom, so I understand the motivation to be close to information. However, I have to draw the line at buttometric technology, that's just wrong.

Guilt. (2, Funny)

Pillowthink (823672) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212874)

It would seem that feelings of guilt may spawn from wiping yourself with your favorite feed. Of course, if ever one became fed up with hearing the latest stupid news from one's roommate, a very powerful point could easily (and comfortably) be made.

Rates (1)

(1+-sqrt(5))*(2**-1) (868173) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212875)

Question is: does the rate of dispensation equal or exceed wiping's rate?

Amazing Invention - No Really It Is (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212877)

Now if only they could sell a color laser version they'd really be in business.

Re:Amazing Invention - No Really It Is (1)

saskboy (600063) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213090)

The colour laser version only prints 4 squares per minute. And it doesn't work if your toilet runs Linux.

But they have a working OpenBSD driver, go figure.

conceptual (1)

slashrogue (775436) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212879)

The link itself says it's just a conceptual product. Actually reading the article submission before posting it to /. FTW

Re:conceptual (1)

TubeSteak (669689) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213085)

That would be the editors' job.^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H

Oh the potential... (5, Funny)

sarlos (903082) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212886)

Hack your neighbors wireless connection and feed false information to their RSS printed TP. Imagine the fun you could have. Program it to tell your neighbors wife she's fat and needs to lose weight. Program it to insult your neighbor's husband's manhood. There's so much potential here it is staggering...

Not an Original Work (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212887)

This is clearly not an original work; I can already get RSS feeds on Slashdot.

It must be said (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212888)

I, for one, welcome our new RSS feed underlords

I dont know (1)

pkvon (899533) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212893)

about ur anus, but I sure am not letting any ink near mine.

GIMP toilet paper (4, Funny)

ettlz (639203) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212894)

And to think that just today someone asked me why The GIMP has a toilet-paper template. Now I know why! For that printer!

No shit! (1)

Browzer (17971) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212897)

Cool!

Attention Gadget Nerds! A Holiday Message! (0, Troll)

Asshat Canada (804093) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212898)

At this, the most joyous time of the year, our thoughts turn to others in need.
Well folks, I am in need of something!
A break from all your fucking nerd bitching and whining. Time to take a shower, comb the crust from your neck-beard and get the fuck outta the basement.
It's called a date! Get one!
Fuckin nerds.

Ahhhhh... (0)

gasmonso (929871) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212900)

Pardon my english, but wiping my ass with printer paper doesn't sound too appealing ;)

gasmonso http://religiousfreaks.com/ [religiousfreaks.com]

Re:Ahhhhh... (1)

OverlordQ (264228) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212979)

put your shitty site advert in your sig

Re:Ahhhhh... (0, Offtopic)

gasmonso (929871) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213129)

Shouldn't you be in church or something?

gasmonso http://religiousfreaks.com/ [religiousfreaks.com]

Waste? (1)

spurtle15 (899792) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212902)

Wonder how much toilet paper is going to be wasted by people who just want to read and not wipe. Or for those who do wipe, all those ink stains on a person's buttox.

Guess where the referring link is (1)

eieken (635333) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212917)

Wipe 2 times to access referring url.

Oh Shit! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212922)

That's really all I have to say on the subject.

Finally a reason to subscribe to.... (4, Funny)

doublem (118724) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212929)

Well, at long last I have a reason to subscribe to the White House RSS feed...

Serious question (1)

RootsLINUX (854452) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212932)

"The best part is the "biometrics" toilet seat that'll figure out who you are based on your weight and prints the news you want - not your roommates tabloid garbage."

Sounds fishy to me. Its not like we weigh the same every day (some people like myself can fluctuate up or down 5 pounds a day). And of course when you are doing your business, that's going to change your weight too. It seems like this "identification" system would only work well if all the members of the household are of significantly (10lbs or more?) different weights.

Re:Serious question (5, Funny)

errxn (108621) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213027)

I was thinking the same thing. Perhaps the solution would be to install an iris scanner which has been modded to do pattern matching on the user's "brown eye".

I've always wondered... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212934)

I've always wondered with stuff like this, and originally the Bin Laden toilet paper [about.com] , is ink really good for your asshole?

Crap! (1)

Talrinys (888624) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212941)

Well this brings the definition of crappy feeds to an entirely new level. Seriously, i don't see the real use of this, probably costs like shit(no pun intended), and think how weird guests will look at you!

Great, now I will NEVER get to use the bathroom (0)

digitaldc (879047) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212943)

"Going to the rsstroom will never be boring again!"

I don't know about you, but I listen to poodcasts when I am in the lavatory.

Meh (1)

Eli Gottlieb (917758) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212945)

I really don't know why I would want to pay tons of money so I could read Slashdot on the toilet.

what is (3, Funny)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212947)

What means this word 'arsefeeds'?

Does it deliver... (1)

creimer (824291) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212949)

I'll buy one only if it will re-order the TP and have it delivered to my place. Could also use one for paper towels. Seems like I run out of paper towels faster than TP, even though I eat and poop at the same rate. Go figure.

Finally... (4, Funny)

jvl001 (229079) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212962)

Finally, I can now read /. RSS headlines that are worth the paper they are printed on!

Remove dupes by tearing out a square (or more)!

Ugh. Already slashdotted (1)

MikeyTheK (873329) | more than 8 years ago | (#14212967)

You have got to be kidding me. This just hit the front page and it's already slashdotted. Bummer. I wanted one for my pr0n

Huh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212977)

So archeologists of the future will have to go through our shit?

Oooo, porn! (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212984)

Think about it, what better place to get porn than the toilet?

weather on toast more palatable (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14212999)

I would prefer to get information from my toaster than my toilet paper, at least that is more appealing. See
this link [bbc.co.uk] for a prototype of a toaster that screens icons indicating the day's weather forecast.

I thought the new trend is (1)

hdd (772289) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213005)

just bringing your wifi enabled laptop?

On a more serious note, i bet the printing cartridge on this baby must cost a fortune, since it has to be resistant to water, fading, and smudges.

News to wipe your arse to (1)

DoddyUK (884783) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213008)

Anyone know where I can find an RSS feed for the Daily Mail [dailymail.co.uk] ? :)

RSS (2, Funny)

waterlogged (210759) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213010)

Real Simple Shitification.

I guess... (2, Funny)

hackstraw (262471) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213016)


I have to chase the article down the toilet with the server, the printer, and the RSS feed!

Yuck!

Any mirrors?

Re:I guess... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213070)

Ummm ... are you sure you want to see that in a mirror? What kind of sicko are you???

RSS?? (1)

SmellTheCoffee (808375) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213021)

Shit!!! It doesn't come out...I mean my RSS feed.

Picture Mirror (Karma Whoring) (1)

Vicsun (812730) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213024)

Maybe it's because I'm torreting Linux ISOs, but both the picture and the article seem to be displaying at atrocious speeds. Here [imageshack.us] is a mirror of the picture. I guess you can use Mirrordot [mirrordot.com] or something for the article, but honestly, who reads the article?

This feels... (1)

schlichte (885306) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213036)

all most as intrusive as the screen over President Skroob's toilet.

mirror (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213042)

Image is getting /.'ed. Here are the mirrors of the product image [nyud.net] and the story [nyud.net] .

Bill O (3, Funny)

saskboy (600063) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213048)

The only blog feed worth wiping with is Bill O'Idiot's from Fox News.

It has the bonus effect of being a puff of hot air to dry your bottom.

Who cares? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213062)

As far as I am concerned, they can put their RSSTP where the sun doesn't shine.
Oh, wait a second...

What about porn images? (1)

Marthirial (903605) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213083)

The same tissue to clean up the deed also can inspire you to get there? humm. Perfect crime.

CrapTop (1)

tedgyz (515156) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213098)

This is really weird. Just before reading this article, I came up with the idea of a "CrapTop" - a laptop computer for the bathroom. I was reading an article and had the urge to purge, but I couldn't bring my 'puter with me.

Of course, if you have seen the Seinfeld episode at the bookstore, you know the dangers of having your CrapTop "tagged" as infected. :-)

I thought the future was "Three Seashells" (2)

MondoMor (262881) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213101)

"MondoMor you have been fined three credits for posting on Slashdot."

Viruses from reading somebody elses slashdot? (1)

aphaenogaster (884935) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213125)

Always, always remember to flush.

Dear Slashdot editors (1)

DigitalHammer (581235) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213134)

It's too early for April Fool's. :(

Photo-Quality? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14213137)

Like quilted Charmin doesn't cost enough already; now we have to pay for glossy...

New RSS feed needs (1)

griffjon (14945) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213143)

Now, this could really be a big seller if asciipr0n.com starts publishing RSS feeds...

Wow, just what I've been looking for in my life... (1)

tpjunkie (911544) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213158)

I hope the ink is hypo-allergenic..

How perfect.. (1)

cwest (66027) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213164)

for a critique of John Dvorak's columns. "Your column is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me".

I AM CORNHOLIO!! (5, Funny)

peterpi (585134) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213167)

I need TP.
For my bunghole.

Bringing new meaning to the question... (5, Funny)

DaedalusLogic (449896) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213173)

Who reads this shit?

M$ TP (1)

DiGG3r (824623) | more than 8 years ago | (#14213188)

I would gladly wipe my rear with TP that has M$ news on it.
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