Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Wealthy 'Cryonauts' Put Assets on Ice

ScuttleMonkey posted more than 8 years ago | from the is-this-fad-still-around dept.

Technology 538

Carl Bialik writes "'You can't take it with you. So Arizona resort operator David Pizer has a plan to come back and get it,' the Wall Street Journal reports. Pizer is one of about about 1,000 members of the "cryonics" movement who plan to put their bodies on ice soon after death so that in the future, medical advances can save them. A small, wealthy subset of these cryonauts is exploring ways to leave their money to themselves. 'With the help of an estate planner, Mr. Pizer has created legal arrangements for a financial trust that will manage his roughly $10 million in land and stock holdings until he is re-animated,' the Journal reports. 'Mr. Pizer says that with his money earning interest while he is frozen, he could wake up in 100 years the richest man in the world.'"

cancel ×

538 comments

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

Or.... (5, Funny)

suso (153703) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536085)

he could wake up in 100 years the richest man in the world

Or he could wake up in 300 years in sick bay with no money at all.

Re:Or.... (1)

scaryjohn (120394) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536093)

Curse you for stealing my joke!

Re:Or.... (-1)

KrON (2656) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536100)

You can never go wrong with ST:TNG humor.

Re:Or.... (0, Redundant)

megacia (534566) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536098)

I, for one, welcome our wealthy, frozen overlords.

Re:Or.... (1)

topical_surfactant (906185) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536106)

That episode was on G4 three nights ago. One of the worst, IMO.

Re:Or.... (1)

suso (153703) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536139)

Yes, I agree. I thought about popping it in to watch it again but then I thought about it and decided it would be a waste of 45 minutes.

Interesting idea, but then, its a first season episode.

Re:Or.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536111)

He could never wake up, and $10M will sit for eternity accruing interest. Sounds to me like somebody has seen one too many Futurama episodes. I bet his PIN is the same as a pizza and a coke at Panucci's Pizza.

Re:Or.... (1)

freeasinrealale (928218) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536147)

phones his bank: how much am i worth? bank teller: $300 trillion... operator comes on line: that'll be $10 trillion for three minutes... - there are three kinds of people in world - those who are good at math and those who aren't

Re:Or.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536240)

Actually I was thinking more along the lines of ...

Waking up in a bath tub full of ice witha note on his chest advising him to get immedite medical help

Re:Or.... (3, Funny)

TheWanderingHermit (513872) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536291)

I was wondering if anyone would even want to waste the time to revive him at all. The world could be too overpopulated, or they could be fed up with cryonauts. Or the economy could have shifted so much he has no current currency.

Or he could wake up in 30 years, travel back in time, start a company to rival his first one, get frozen again, wake up 30 years later (again), marry someone who was a kid when he knew her before, and live happily ever after on the royalties from both his competing companies.

Re:Or.... (4, Funny)

SmurfButcher Bob (313810) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536295)

...or he could wake up in 300 million years, only to discover that Cockroaches do not USE currency.

You read it here first (4, Interesting)

Rude Turnip (49495) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536087)

Three words for you my friends: tax evasion scam.
Good night.

Re:You read it here first (4, Funny)

Cutriss (262920) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536104)

Like Hotblack Desiato?

Re:You read it here first (2, Interesting)

Al Mutasim (831844) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536175)

It does seem to be a way to avoid estate taxes. However, I doubt most people are doing it for this reason. The article suggests that the "so-called dynasty trusts" are typically used to "pay out funds to a person's children, grandchildren and future generations" and do not need to have anything to do with cryogenics. You can get the tax scam without the cryo.

These people are doing it to avoid the dread of death. I don't think it should be legal. What if everyone who died just tied up their assets this way? We would have a "Trustee Economy" (you read it here first). This would not be good. Trustees are not motivated to optimize the use of assets the way owners are.

Re:You read it here first (1)

gordo3000 (785698) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536236)

actually, most of the time, they are. remember, most Trustee's earn a raw percent on the value they add to the portfolio they are managing. It just happens to be that a lot of money that used to have different risk profiles will all start tohave the same risk profile. Not good or bad, just different.

Re:You read it here first (1)

Al Mutasim (831844) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536335)

There can be good trustees, and it's easy to imagine ways to incentivize trustees to improve the chances of good management. But in the end, trustee motivation does not match the owner motivation. The owner of an asset gets all the benefits of good use of the asset. At best, a trustee gets a small percentage.

Re:You read it here first (1)

MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536319)

"Three words for you my friends: tax evasion scam."

He freezes himself shortly after death to evade paying taxes...?

Or..... (1)

Jeff Benjamin (528348) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536097)

Mr. Pizer says that with his money earning interest while he is frozen, he could wake up in 100 years the richest man in the world. '"

Or, in the event that there is a market crash or the country in which his bank resides in collapses, the dumbest man in the world.

Re:Or..... (1)

Radak (126696) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536115)

Alive is alive, which he'll be and you won't be. Who's the dumb one now?

Re:Or..... (1)

jbrader (697703) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536180)

Says who? Maybe in the meantime someone will have perfected a life-extension treatment and I'll have been around making money the whole time.

Re:Or..... (2, Insightful)

Ucklak (755284) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536323)

I would imagine that in a hundred years time or more that the normal abundant viruses and other microorganisms that are bent on destroying the human body would probably take out his immune system immediately upon reanimation or drying out or whatever you want to call it. Of course you could put him a 'bubble' or quarrantine but if you don't have an evolution of antibiotics, his system would most likely shut down upon an infection.

The cold and flu that you and I shrug off today would kill our great grandparents (at an age of young adulthood) in an instant because of sex and diversification. Just a natural evolution process.
Viruses evolve and his immune system won't, that's the point of having kids. Hell, the next batch of kids may be immune to this current avian flu and we ourselves may be immmune to some ancient avian flu.

One Word (1)

everphilski (877346) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536182)

Diversification

What will actually happen is..... (4, Interesting)

EGSonikku (519478) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536101)

Duh, he'll just wake up in a few hundred years after his consciousness is transferred into the memrouy wiped body of a convict, and recieve RNA memory injections and learn to pilot interstellar world seeding ships.

Re:What will actually happen is..... (1)

Gertlex (722812) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536164)

Exactly... except I can't remember if that was Asimov or Niven that wrote that (or another that I forgot...)

Re:What will actually happen is..... (1)

Buzz_Litebeer (539463) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536188)

Nivens World out of Time

Re:What will actually happen is..... (1)

tachyonflow (539926) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536184)

Duh, he'll just wake up in a few hundred years after his consciousness is transferred into the memrouy wiped body of a convict, and recieve RNA memory injections and learn to pilot interstellar world seeding ships.
Yeah, it's all fun and games until you wake up to a facist society that is fed up with corpsicle slackers. In other news, I hear that theft of interstellar world seeding ships is at an all time high...

Re:What will actually happen is..... (1)

mellon (7048) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536208)

Yeah, sure, next thing you're going to tell is is that he's going to be bit on the toe by a cat that's a snake. That's highly unlikely. More likely his organs will be harvested and his assets taken by the state. If he's lucky they'll keep his brain frozen, but that's unlikely - it'll be considered a waste of resources.

Re:What will actually happen is..... (0, Troll)

kakashiryo (866772) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536312)

Wait. What? THIS IS MODDED INTERESTING?

I can't beleive people actually thought this is possib....

Oh yeah. This is Slashdot.

Old joke... (5, Funny)

SiliconEntity (448450) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536102)

David Pizer wakes up in the future and calls his accountant to find out how his account is doing. "Good news!" the man says. "Your ten million dollars has grown to almost one billion dollars!" David is ecstatic and they talk a minute more. Suddenly the phone chimes. "Please deposit one hundred million dollars for the next three minutes..."

Before any says... (2, Insightful)

Eightyford (893696) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536105)

Before anyone says that this guy is greedy and should give the money to charity, I'd like to point out that there's little chance that he will come back to life unthawed, and if he doesn't spend the money it makes us all just a tiny bit richer.

Re:Before any says... (1)

Phoenixhunter (588958) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536120)

You mean the banks richer, right? (or possibly the state his is a resident of, his lawyers, or possible a distant relative who hires an attorney to argue that this guy will *always* be a popsicle).

Re:Before any says... (3, Interesting)

c_forq (924234) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536161)

The banks yes, but also everyone that uses the same currency as him. Taking that much money out of circulation should help increase the value of the bills in your wallet right now.

Re:Before any says... (2, Interesting)

Eightyford (893696) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536247)

The banks yes, but also everyone that uses the same currency as him. Taking that much money out of circulation should help increase the value of the bills in your wallet right now.

Bingo! I had a friend once who saw the movie Dead Presidents and he could not understand that printing money and giving it away would be a bad thing. On a side note, I was shocked recently when I found out that the US government or Alan Greenspan or whatever does this very thing.

Re:Before any says... (1)

qbwiz (87077) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536308)

Sometimes they do that, sometimes they sell their store of bonds on the free market to lock up money. It's a balancing act.

Re:Before any says... (1)

chromatic (9471) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536327)

Taking that much money out of circulation...

How does investing it take it out of circulation?

Re:Before any says... (1, Interesting)

GigsVT (208848) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536330)

If he spent that money, the companies and people he bought products from would be richer (as would all their suppliers), and he would get a product that he enjoyed more than the idea of having that much money in the bank. Win-win.

The economy doesn't work if no one spends money.

Re:Before any says... (1)

datacaliber (202682) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536154)

Great. I'm looking forward to the check in the mail.

Unthawed? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536189)

Does that mean... frozen?

Re:Before any says... (1)

Millenniumman (924859) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536196)

Well, if I was him, I would have it keep earning interest indefinitely as long as he was still alive and if he died, in an accident or something, the money keep earning interest, but have much of it spent on statues of him. I'd have the statues continue to be built indefinitely, perhaps moving to the moon and Mars when space runs out on Earth.

Re:Before any says... (1)

fiendy (931228) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536238)

Of course he's greedy, he's figured out a way to consume electricity even after he's dead. Regardless that he's paying for it, he's found a way to consume in excess.

STTNG (5, Insightful)

Profane MuthaFucka (574406) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536108)

Reminds me of the Star Trek Next Generation episode where they wake up people who were frozen. The doc cured them, and one guy wanted to check on his stocks. They thought he was nuts, because why would you need stocks when you could just ask the replicator for anything you wanted?

Re:STTNG (1)

LurkerXXX (667952) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536210)

Replicators can make Orian sex slaves? Sweet!

Re:STTNG (1)

kosmicki (770049) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536272)

That's what holosuites are for ya idiot. ;) If that was me, I do believe I would have locked myself in one if they did not have parental controls. "What do you mean a Starfleet Holosuite can't do that?! "

Although that might explain why they always seemed to do such boring stuff in them on the show... On the other hand, if you just saved an entire planet, maybe you do just want to mountain climb for a bit...

Comical ethics of advance technology... (4, Interesting)

creimer (824291) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536126)

There was a horror comic in the early 80's that has a story that I still remember.

A rich man who was dying had enough money to develop the technology to put himself on ice until medical technology was advance enough to cure his disease. He wakes up about 50 years later to find out that medical technology did indeed advance greatly over the years. But there was no cure for his disease. Instead, he was revived so the doctors could harvest his limbs for the veterans of the last World War who lost their arms and legs. Since he was beyond cure, the doctors figured his limbs were still useful to humanity. Advance technology rendered the rich man a basketcase.

Re:Comical ethics of advance technology... (4, Funny)

RickPartin (892479) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536244)

Thanks for spoiling an obscure movie from the 80's that I've never of and will never watch. Jerk.

Re:Comical ethics of advance technology... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536275)

Great. That's like the one I read when I was a kid (some 30 years ago) in which a rich old dude decided he could cheat death by replacing parts as they wore out. The doctors replaced blood, organs, finally putting his brain into a humanoid machine. Then they replaced his brain with a computer, and threw the brain away.

Did he live forever by this process? You tell me.

Re:Comical ethics of advance technology... (1)

slavemowgli (585321) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536280)

There's also a science fiction short story dealing with this subject matter - I don't recall all the details, really, or even who wrote it or what the title was, but it involved one guy who had been frozen for some reason and was later on thawed again. The story chronicled how he struggled to fit into the new world - one he wasn't born into, wasn't familiar with, and ultimately couldn't fit into.

One thing I do remember and that might help to identify the story was that he was sentenced to death at some point for something he did; he was executed, too, but later on woke up again, and was told that even though he had died, he had been resurrected as well - apparently, this was the norm in that society when a death penalty was carried out. He hadn't known about this before, though, and had freaked (of course).

I don't remember how the story ended (it's really been a while), but I think the author had a point: would you even *want* to wake up a few hundred years into the future? Suppose that someone from the Renaissance had been frozen and would be thawed today - do you think they'd fit in? The technological changes would already be overwhelming, but the cultural changes are probably an even bigger problem. You might learn to adapt, but ultimately, you couldn't be happy, and even if you really *were* the richest man in the world, all that you could do with your riches would be to try recreate the world you lived in and which doesn't exist anymore.

Rule against perpetuities (5, Informative)

Peyna (14792) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536128)

The rule against perpetuities [wikipedia.org] should probably stop this in most states. The point of it is to keep property from being tied up and being useless for long periods of time. I think it's probably a moot point until they actually manage to unthaw someone and then keep them alive for more than a second or two.

Re:Rule against perpetuities - Unthawed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536235)

Unthawed == re-frozen, no?

Re:Rule against perpetuities (1)

ThreeE (786934) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536253)

If he is investing the capital while he's on ice, it's hardly useless. Since he is generating a return, someone is using the capital. The idea of keeping property from "being tied up and being useless for long periods of time" sounds like a euphemism for theft. If I want to stuff $10M under my mattress for 1,000 years it's my own damn business you commie pink ass.

Re:Rule against perpetuities (2, Funny)

Elminst (53259) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536278)

Rule against perpetuities??

Then how do you explain the f'ed up Copyright system??

Re:Rule against perpetuities (1)

coscarart (522354) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536293)

The rule against perpituities only applies to future interests in land, not to trusts. Do you have any idea what you are talking about?

Doubtful legality (3, Insightful)

Raindance (680694) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536129)

I'd suspect that the legal status of someone that's, well, legally dead would be rather iffy. And for good reason- why should we set aside economic power for inactive (and potentially never-to-be active) members of our society? I think the burden of proof that this should be possible lies on them.

There's also things such as Adverse Possession that could throw a wrench into things. I'd recommend that any 'cryonauts' conceive of any post-death, pre-revival arrangements to be tentative at best.

Re:Doubtful legality (4, Insightful)

timeOday (582209) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536273)

I'd suspect that the legal status of someone that's, well, legally dead would be rather iffy.
I'm reminded of the Pharoahs of Egypt, who wanted so badly to "take it with them" that they were buried with great riches and even their own (living) servants. Fast forward a few thousand years to the explorers/theives who plundered the remains. There nobody around to protect whatever ownership rights the mummies thought they had over their loot.

All I can say is, let it go. You don't own anything in perpetuity, not even the water and dirt your body is made of.

huh? (-1, Offtopic)

Lehk228 (705449) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536130)

since when did YRO stand for "whatever the fuck we post here regardless of relation to your rights online"

Re:huh? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536245)

Yeah, this obviously belongs to the "Your rights offline" section.
Editors, relocate!

re-animation *after* death? (1)

icepick72 (834363) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536131)

Since he would have recently died before being frozen, he can wake up in 100 years and be the crappiest-feeling richest guy on earth! They say money can't buy everything.

The only real winners are the lawyers (1)

Belseth (835595) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536132)

Hope he hasn't got any greedy family members. The lawyers will end up with it all when the jackals decend.

Re:The only real winners are the lawyers (1)

cpt kangarooski (3773) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536179)

Sounds good to me.

Family members (4, Insightful)

RedWizzard (192002) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536133)

This scheme was mentioned in at least one of Niven's books. It didn't work - surviving family members took the estate to court to get at their rightful inheritance. I think that's a pretty likely outcome. Another likely outcome is that the estate management will embezzle it (it's not like you can watch them closely when you're dead). It's also possible the government might decide to seize it, if it's a tempting enough target.

Re:Family members (2, Interesting)

pmancini (20121) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536282)

The estate could claim that his state of inanimation does not constitute death and that the freezing process is part of a long medical procedure.

Of course his greedier heirs would then have themselves frozen with orders to be revived when he wakes or is declared dead!

Yeah, sure, how will check up on these people? (1)

lawpoop (604919) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536144)

So your trust fund has guardians. Big deal. What are you going to do, audit them? You're frozen.

The funds will be slowly leeched until you finally thaw and die, and at that point someone inherits it.

Also, if there is any kind of "$#!+ hits the fan" scenario, the government will confiscate these trust finds to finance the war. Again, you will thaw and die.

Re:Yeah, sure, how will check up on these people? (1)

RickPartin (892479) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536307)

"The funds will be slowly leeched until you finally thaw and die, and at that point someone inherits it. "

One small correction: You must be legally dead before you can be frozen (in the US at least). Anything else would be considered assisted suicide.

Re:Yeah, sure, how will check up on these people? (1)

lawpoop (604919) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536336)

Well, doesn't that open a legal pandora's box?

So, you are legally dead if you are frozen. If you are legally dead, and then revived, is our legal system prepared to handle that? Especially if you are revived some 50 years later.

"Yes, your honor, I was dead, but now I am alive again, and I want my things back."

I think a lot of cases would have to be decided to understand how to handle someone who comes back.

Re:Yeah, sure, how will check up on these people? (1)

WhiteWolf666 (145211) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536325)

No, actually, many trusts run on their own quite nicely.

Why? A properly maintained trust *is* a business in and of itself. It's lifetime employement for the maintainer and a host of other people. You don't need to kill the Golden Goose, you just need to keep it going.

Ideally, the maintainers of the fund for "The Frozen" will plan on freezing themselves, as well. It's something that would keep running indefinitely.

H.G. Wells did it (3, Informative)

246o1 (914193) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536149)

In "When the Sleeper Wakes," a guy is in a coma for a thousand years, wakes up and his money has taken over the world. Highly recommend it, but that's because I like Wells a lot.

Re:H.G. Wells did it (1)

Scarletdown (886459) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536220)

In "When the Sleeper Wakes," a guy is in a coma for a thousand years, wakes up and his money has taken over the world. Highly recommend it, but that's because I like Wells a lot.


Thanks for the reading tip. I just found that story at Project Gutenberg and added it to my collection of stuff to read when I go to Afghanistan next month.

http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/775 [gutenberg.org]

How to get rich quick. (1)

Danga (307709) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536152)

1) Get wealthy people to give you their money when they die so you can invest it for when they return.

2) Pay someone to accidently leave the door to the freezer full of people open over the weekend.

3) PROFIT!!!

I know they aren't put in a freezer, it just added to the joke.
Seriously though I wonder what would happen to the money if something catastrophic happened and the bodies were ruined.

Sorry, it's not a joke (1)

jpardey (569633) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536211)

The second step is always "?"

Re:Sorry, it's not a joke (1)

Danga (307709) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536289)

So what are you the joke nazi now?

Re:How to get rich quick. (1)

mscnln (785138) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536237)

1) Get wealthy people to give you their money when they die so you can invest it for when they return.

2) Pay someone to accidently leave the door to the freezer full of people open over the weekend.

3) PROFIT!!!

Ahem... aren't you missing a step?

Meanwhile in Applied Cyrogenics ... (4, Funny)

slashbob22 (918040) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536158)

"Terry: Welcome to the world of tomorrow!
Lou: Why do you always have to say it that way?
Terry: Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called showmanship? Come, your destiny awaits!"

Futurama Pilot

Or better yet.... (1)

boarder8925 (714555) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536310)

FRY: My God, it's the future! My parents, my coworkers, my girlfriend--I'll never see any of them again! {pause} Yahoo!

Life imitating art (1)

McFadden (809368) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536174)

Wasn't this also the original plot for "Red Dwarf" - the BBC SciFi sitcom. Dave Lister a 3rd class technician on a Mining Corporation spacecraft gets put into suspended animation as a punishment for smuggling a cat aboard the spaceship. Something goes wrong on the ship and he isn't re-animated (the crew disappears). He wakes up 3 million years later and discovers he left 2 pence (or some equally trivial amount) in a bank account and from the interest accrued is now the richest man in the universe.

Re:Life imitating art (1)

Lord Maud'Dib (611577) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536214)

Isn't it several billion years? Also the cat has evolved into a humanoid life form with a religion based on Lister being their god and they all want to go to the mythical land of Fiji.

Death, taxes, and taxes after death (1)

Landshark17 (807664) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536194)

If this becomes a widespread practice, the government will find some way to tax the assets you leave for reclaiming.

Don't forget to turn off the light! (Red Dwarf) (5, Funny)

Artega VH (739847) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536198)

Reminds me of this little sequence from Red Dwarf:

Holly: They're from the NorWEB Federation.
Lister: What's that?
Holly: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
Lister: Me? Why? What for?
Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
Lister: You what?!
Holly: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
Lister: Did I?
Holly: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
Lister: Yeh, they go mouldy.
Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
Lister: Why NorWEB?
Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds!! You're kidding!
Holly, wearing glasses, nose and moustache: April Fool.
Lister: But it's not April!
Holly: Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot jape like that underneath me hat.

h2g2 (1)

gijoel (628142) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536201)

Mr Pizer will be dead for the next 100 years for taxation purposes.

My tired little brain aches for the cold sleep of a cyronics chamber.

Larry Niven wrote about this (1)

zuhl (202285) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536221)

And in his future, it didn't work out so well for the "corpsicles."

Their heirs either made of with the dough or society cut them up to use as recycled parts (organ donation).

That's probably not the future the "cryonauts" would like to hear about. Corpsicle is a way better word than cryonaut anyway, and probably more descriptive, since won't their cell walls burst when frozen?

and the offspring? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536227)

If he thinks his kids aren't going to pull the plug after 5 minutes he's nuts!

Nothing New Here (1)

twitter (104583) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536229)

We all know that Elvis is still alive. Oh yeah, don't forget to pay royalties if you paint his image on black velvet.

Hmmmm, Thank you, thank you very much.

Scary (5, Funny)

tmandry (710511) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536232)

You can't take it with you. So Arizona resort operator David Pizer has a plan to come back and get it.

Does anyone else think this sounds like a bad horror movie?

As long as (1)

ScaryFroMan (901163) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536239)

As long as he doesn't waste it on the last anchovies in the world, he'll be fine.

Cryogenics and impotency. (1, Funny)

CyricZ (887944) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536241)

My greatest fear would be getting frozen, and then being successfully thawed, except that the freezing process leads to permanent impotency. Frostbite of the cock, one might say.

Then again, I have not sustained, let alone maintained, an erection in a couple of decades. So maybe getting cryogenically frozen wouldn't be that harmful after all.

Re:Cryogenics and impotency. (1)

heinousjay (683506) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536292)

Would you like me to mail you a bottle of viagra and the pornographic magazine of your choice? Modern science has declared you don't have to slink limply into the good night.

Hope he doesn't leave any lights on... (0, Redundant)

bravehamster (44836) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536242)

HOLLY: They're from the NorWEB Federation.
LISTER: What's that?
HOLLY: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
LISTER: Me? Why? What for?
HOLLY: For your crimes against humanity.
LISTER: You what?!
HOLLY: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two
    half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
LISTER: Did I?
HOLLY: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three
    million years?
LISTER: Yeah, they go mouldy.
HOLLY: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's
    surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank
    account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the
    world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years,
    nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
LISTER: Why NorWEB?
HOLLY: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here
    for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
LISTER: A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding!
HOLLY: (Wearing a Grouch-Marx glasses-nose-and-moustache) April Fool.
LISTER: But it's not April!
HOLLY: Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot
    jape like that underneath me hat.

The easiest way. (1)

Reeses (5069) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536246)

It seems to me that the easiest way to do this is to freeze yourself, hopefully in a way that your DNA won't degrade. Once cloning technology is viable, have yourself cloned, and leave your money to your eventual clone.

If mind transfer technology is available, then do that, but that might be a ways further off.

Y'know (1)

ilyanep (823855) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536256)

I bet that once this becomes a viable and popular option, banks will suddenly start putting limits on interest (or something like the fact that interest stops while you're dead).

Why am I thinking of The Time Machine? (1)

Scoldog (875927) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536258)

"Like some 1,000 other members of the "cryonics" movement, Mr. Pizer has made arrangements to have his body frozen in liquid nitrogen as soon as possible after he dies"

I for one, welcome our new defrosted Stupid-Age overlords

So, he'll be dead in this time, but hoping that future generations will be able to provide life?

I think he's hoping for storyline of "The Time Machine" to come true. I'd LMAO if this shmuck gets Frankenstien'ed instead!

this works? since when? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536268)

when you freeze a cell (single cell of your body) the water molecules will freeze, expanding the cell untill its walls break. just freezing this guy would kill him... let alone save him... test it with a daisy and liquid nitro

You don't have to be rich. (4, Interesting)

f1r3br4nd (16047) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536269)

Perhaps rich people are the ones worrying about preserving their assets for the future, but I don't want people to get the impression that you have to be rich to be a cryonicist.

That mistaken assumption [alcor.org] is what caused me to take so long to take the plunge.

I'm a grad student, I make 20k/year, and I have a cryo contract. As a full-time student I pay $199 annually and my life insurance policy ($90k coverage) premiums cost about $1k per annually. If I wanted to, I could have taken out a term life insurance policy and I'd be paying in the low hundreds, but since by definition this is an arrangement you'd want to make for the duration of your life, I thought it would be better to lock in a good whole life insurance rate while I'm still young and healthy. Plus my policy has a safety margin of $10k over the $80k neurosuspension fee [alcor.org] .

And that's me, a starving PhD student. Some of you people with real jobs can fund your cryo policy, and toss some money into a trust fund for yourself, and have some left over for charity and heirs.

Cryonics is a long-shot, but unlike many other beliefs about life after death, it doesn't contradict the observed laws of physics. I don't ridicule those beliefs or take any action to restrict them, no matter how alien to my way of thinking they may seem. I therefore expect a free and pluralistic society to reciprocate this courtesy toward my own beliefs.

Re:You don't have to be rich. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14536294)

I'll freeze you when you are dead for only 150 a year.

Instant (4, Insightful)

RickPartin (892479) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536271)

The one cool thing about freezing yourself that no one seems to mention is the process, if successful, will seem instant to you regardless of how many hundreds of years you're out for. Thinking of it that way makes it seem way more appealing. It's like a crude form of time travel.

Mr Pizer, please wake up now... (5, Funny)

rmpotter (177221) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536276)

... You've been frozen for 150 years, but your Cryo company went under about 80 years ago. Actually that company has been bought and sold a number of times. You actually spent a few weeks in a meat locker in Chicago until a new facility could be found. Unfortunately we were legally obligated to dip into your "inheritance" to pay for emergency cooling and relocation. You still have a few dollars left, but after converting them into American Yen, it looks like you will have to go back to work. Mr Pizer? Are you listening to me? Ah... yes, where is the rest of your body? Well, you see after the last market crash the Cryo industry was forced to make a few, um, cutbacks. What now? Well, Mr. Pizer, you've lucked into a wonderful Brave New World, you know. You've been assigned to the circus with all the others. You'll be pulled by trained monkeys round the ring on a special cart along with the other heads. It doesn't pay all that well, but it will keep the feeding tube flowing and cover any back taxes owing. And it does make the children laugh! Mr. Pizer? Now don't be angry with me Mr. Pizer...
 

Who would want you? (2, Interesting)

bhhenry (83946) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536277)

Funny to see this article so soon after viewing Final [imdb.com] , a movie about a man who wakes up in a mental ward after being cryogenically frozen and then finds himself a ward of the state in more than one way. Or the Philip K. Dick story I just read about a man who travels into the future, but isn't worried about making his way, because he is a doctor, and society can always use a doctor, right?

Seriously, if the technology worked as planned, what would you do after being thawed? Go back to grade school to catch up on the basics? Would any of your skills be useful to anyone? Unless you were a popular historical icon, who would want to bother with you? An archeologist or historian?

Add to all of this the fact that the population of Earth is already expanding at an alarming rate.

Once those trusts get big enough... (1)

JumperCable (673155) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536298)

...I finally see a cure for Social Security problem. 100% Social Security Tax on the dead. They are going to need it once they are revived.

So... Even if we do get enough advances medically (2, Insightful)

timothyf (615594) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536302)

So... Even if we do get enough advances medically to do this, tell me why on earth would we /want/ to revive someone so selfish and materialistic as to want to do this? Sorry, couldn't help myself.

decisions (2, Insightful)

wall0159 (881759) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536314)

The difficult part would have to be deciding when to cut one's losses with life and be frozen. Persumably, if he waits until he's actually dead, it might be too late...

"I figure I have a better than even chance of coming back," he says. *laughing* based on WHAT?? Just goes to show - wealth doesn't corrolate with intelligence.

(personally, I reckon his chances are more like 42%... ;-)

Reality cheque (2, Funny)

HermanAB (661181) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536321)

As Robert Heinlein put it: "If you invest a substantial sum of money at a good interest rate, compounded monthly, it will eventually be worth nothing."

Has to be said... (0, Offtopic)

TheDugong (701481) | more than 8 years ago | (#14536322)

In Kore^H^H^H^Hthe USA, only old people use cryogenics. Sorry.
Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>