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Patriot Act Game Pokes Fun at Government

ScuttleMonkey posted more than 8 years ago | from the can-i-play-as-the-government dept.


The Miami Herald is reporting that a new game based on Monopoly is taking a crack at Patriot Act and what creator Michael Kabbash describes as the curtailed freedom that has resulted. From the article: "The object of the game is not to amass the most money or real estate, but to be the last player to retain civil liberties. 'I've had people complain to me that when they play, nobody wins. They say "We're all in Guantanamo and nobody has any civil liberties left," he said. 'I'm like "Yeah, that's the point."'"

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Yay for wasting time... (0, Flamebait)

DorkusMasterus (931246) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959066)

Sure, it's funny...

But if these people would have spent a little more time working with their representatives, or mobilizing petitions, or SOMETHING that actually affected the political systems, they might actually have what they want. Now, they've got a much talked about game, and rights are still just as infringed-upon. Yay for you.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959124)

You're absolutely right. Because if there's one thing this administration has shown they value above all else, it's that they're doing the will of their constituents.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (0, Redundant)

Aranth Brainfire (905606) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959128)

Yes, because publicity has never helped anything, and is terribly easy to get without doing anything at all except whine.

How about Yay for raising public awareness? (4, Insightful)

TripMaster Monkey (862126) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959135)

One of the most troubling things about the current situation is that your average Joe Sixpack has no idea how far the current administration has gone in their efforts to decieve them and strip away their inalienable rights. Once they're properly appraised of the situation, they're usually pretty damned mad about it.

Getting the word out is one of the most important ways we can fight this assault on our liberty. The people in power thrive on ignorance. Anything that deprives them of that is positive.

I'd like to add one more thing... (5, Insightful)

AnonymousPrick (956548) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959244)

I think it's also this perceived liberal vs. conservative, us vs. them, or the "bipartisanship" of America. As soon as a viewpoint is labeled "liberal" or "conservative", it immediately polarizes many people. But when you actually dig down into the base issue, beyond the hyperpole and mindless rhetoric, I usually see some common ground - a big swath of it.

It's the "sound bite" media that's really doing us in. And "they", the media, are doing it because that's where the money is. There's no profit in being rational, careful, insightful, and just using common sense. Sensationalism has overtaken the media. Trying to get the issues past that, well, is impossible. Let's face it, folks want the sensationlized version. They want to feel superior to the "stupid" people who have a different opinion from theirs.

Re:I'd like to add one more thing... (4, Insightful)

harrkev (623093) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959379)

I agree. And as far as partisanship goes, both are bad in different ways. Liberals tend to tear away at the 2nd amendment, and the current conservative administration has chipped away at the fourth and fifth. I happen to be quite fond of all ten of them. As an American, I should not have to pick-and-choose which amendments are the most important to me.

Re:I'd like to add one more thing... (1)

heinousjay (683506) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959992)

There's a lot more than 10 amendments, although I assume you mant the Bill of Rights. I happen to like quite a few of the amendments that came afterwards, like the one that ended Prohibition.

Also, while the terms 'liberal' and 'conservative' are, generally speaking, the accepted nomenclature, I think by this point in time we can all acknowledge they don't apply to the dominant US political parties at all. It's just Democrats and Republicans now.

After all, what's so conservative about eliminating privacy?

Re:I'd like to add one more thing... (1)

Shihar (153932) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960811)

If you really want to get old school in terms of what a "liberal" is, Libertarians are the only "true" liberals left. They believe in traditional liberal economies (free trade, open market) and liberal society (an open society, free speech, fuck whoever you want, exc). I call myself a moderate libertarian, but just for shits and giggles I like to call myself an old sk00l liberal just to confuse the kiddies.

Modern day American political parties irritate me. I get the choose between some nuts who think that Jesus, capitalism, complete fiscal irresponsibility, and a surveillance society all go together, or I can pick the nuts who want more socialism, a liberal society, a nanny state, complete fiscal irresponsibility, and a kinda-sorta surveillance society. Shit, most of that stuff is contradictory even within the party. Every time I hear a "conservative" talk about fiscal responsibility I want to smack him in the face.

Bah. I am happy with how I vote each and every year. I vote libertarian. Would I really want those crazy bastards to win? Hell no. They have their head shoved very far up their ass when it comes to reality. That said, I sure as shit don't want a Republican or Democrat to win. Better to just vote "fuck you" and hope and vain that one of the party moves to a more moderate libertarian position.

Re:I'd like to add one more thing... (-1, Troll)

MBraynard (653724) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959433)

Classic dumbass you are.

Note that no one actually discussess these alleged rights that are being violated/lost OR anyone who has actually lost them.

And also note how a majority of both parties voted for the patriot act - BOTH times! It just passed the Senate with 84 votes.

You are all morons.

Re:I'd like to add one more thing... (4, Interesting)

smellsofbikes (890263) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960015)

My boss calls himself 'fairly conservative' and I call myself a left-wing lunatic. And guess what? on almost every issue that the two of us think really matters right now, we're in 100% agreement: free speech, privacy, civil liberties, and general government-intervention-in-private-life. When we talk about this we decide that we would've been at completely opposite ends of the spectrum when Carter was in office but by now we're almost indistinguishable in what we'll be voting for next time around. Now if only someone that actually encapsulated what we want was going to be running, but that's probably not going to happen.

Re:I'd like to add one more thing... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960661)

Now if only someone that actually encapsulated what we want was going to be running, but that's probably not going to happen.

Out of interest, what rules the Libertarians out for you? Their economic policies?

Re:I'd like to add one more thing... (1)

smellsofbikes (890263) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960895)

Yeah, and most of the Libertarians I know are, personally, self-interested jerks. Which is too bad, coz the general tenets seem good. Guilt by association, I guess.

Not a waste (4, Insightful)

Red Flayer (890720) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959150)

And if more people become aware that there is a brewing problem with attrition of their rights, how is that a waste?

What's more beneficial to the bottom line of a popular movement -- one individual sending a letter, or one individual getting two people to send a letter? Or how about one individual making 1,000 people 0.2% more likely to write a letter?

Few people want to talk about civil liberties at the water cooler during their afternoon break. This game is interesting enough to be water-cooler fodder, which is a good thing -- raise awareness of the issue.

Re:Not a waste (1)

DorkusMasterus (931246) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959800)

I hear what you're all saying. (In fact, I'm choosing this one in response, because it seemed like one of the few that really said something and not just "yeah, well you're stupid.")

Just allow me to clarify, however. I totally understand the value in raising public awareness. However, almost anyone will say that they recognize that civil liberties are infringed with the Patriot Act. But they can't do a damn thing about it. In fact, the way our system of government DOES work (whether you hate it or not) is by choosing representatives to sit in congress that you feel will promote your brand of justice, your brand of what is right, and your brand of liberty.

If you don't like who's in office, then vote. Stop whining. Stop trying to be ironic. Stop trying to "rally the people" because all you're doing is making noise (and no, not you Slashdotters, I'm speaking in general. Although we do tend to make a lot of noise).

I guess I'm just sick of people complaining, without using the system we already have in place, to effect change. The reason the system is broken now, is because of mass ignorance of the process. If people in general really hated Bush, then how did he get elected? Because those who did hate Bush didn't get out to vote. If people hate the patriot act, then you should call your congressman/woman today, and tell them that you WILL NOT VOTE for them again, should they side with the Patriot Act. Trust me, enough people do that, they'll listen. They want votes. They want money, but without the votes, the money means nothing. They'll come around.

Re:Not a waste (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960383)

I'm confused. First you say:
Stop trying to "rally the people" because all you're doing is making noise . . .

Then you say:
The reason the system is broken now, is because of mass ignorance of the process.

It seems to me that "rally[ing] the people" and "making noise" are reasonable ways to combat mass ignorance. Do you have ideas for educating people that don't involve making noise?

Well, here's why I don't like it (1)

Moraelin (679338) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960794)

Because while it may seem great when 1 nerd reaches 200 people with his propaganda, it's a two-way road. The shafting that's the mainstream media can extend just as well to games.

And for what? Chances are that anyone who actually plays something this monumentally stupid and non-fun is already doing it for the preaching part, so it's all just preaching to the choir. You won't get too many _normal_ people playing an idiotically designed game where every step is a 50% "game over, you got sent to prison" chance.

But it just starts a slippery slope that can lead to some big money muscling into this kind of territory and out-shouting the lone millitant nerd by orders of magnitude. And:

1. Let's be honest and start with the selfish reason: in my playing time, I don't give a flying fuck about it all. That's the time when I relax, forget about it all, and only care about shooting the next bear in WoW, not about politics, economics, whatever. It's the time where I _lower_ my stress levels, not the time to get someone to try to get me more frenzied about some point on their personal agenda.

There are already too many people competing for time to tell me what to think. All over the TV, radio, newspapers, billboards on the way to work, etc, I'm bombarded by basically being told what to think. Heck, even at work, the memos come around telling me again, what to think. I quite like having some time to myself when I actually get entertainment, not propaganda. I'm _not_ looking forward to games becoming yet another battle-ground for lobby groups, special interests, and PR spin-doctors competing to spoon-feed me their own version of The One True Way.

2. Because I find it all insulting. There's something inherently insulting in an attitude saying basically, "I know you're too retarded to use your own brain. Here, forget about using that stupid little brain of yours, let me tell you exactly what to think and how to view this problem." That's the underlying attitude of all these busibodies and zealots -- ranging from Jack Thompson, to religious zealots, to the local "back in my day the grass was greener" nostalgiac, to whatever -- trying to tell you what to think: they think everyone else is just too stupid to evaluate a problem on their own, or to have a list of priorities of their own. And I find that insulting.

Doubly so when it's from people who aren't qualified to discuss it anyway. People who can't balance their grocery expenses tell me exactly how I should view balancing the economy. People who can't even fucking find France or Iraq on a map, tell me exactly what I should think about them or about the US presence there. People who can't even deal with a new guy at work, tell me about how whole countries should deal with each other. Etc. Hello? So someone utterly incompetent and unqualified is trying to call me even more stupid than that?

3. Because it's just not fun to play such idiocies. Look at the description in the very summary here. Everyone who actually expected a game and gameplay -- as opposed to pre-existing zealots looking for something to reinforce their zealotry -- _complained_ about it. Unsurprisingly, because it violates several principles of good game design, starting with: don't create "bang! you're dead!" situations where the player suddenly loses for no fault of his own and without any chance to react. The thing doesn't just give gameplay a secondary role, after preaching, it outright deliberately tries to not be fun to illustrate a point.

4. Because I quite like choosing games purely on gameplay reasons, and not on which side did the publisher align with. I can just see a future in which MS games just serve to preach that outsourcing is good and monopolies are good for the economy, Vivendi games just preach that the USA sucks, EA Games got paid by some lobby group and preaches a third thing, Sony games a fourth, and Nintedo gets yet another party's or lobby's money to carry their message. And where you end up choosing games and companies based on whose message they carry. (Better not buy games from those supporting the Republicans or Democrats or whatever. Buy your games from these other guys which may make crap games, but carry the political message you want to hear.)

And you know what? Fuck that. There are too few _good_ games already, and I quite enjoy being able to pick from all publishers. I _don't_ want to have to choose based on political message too.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959162)

SOMETHING that actually affected the political systems

That'd require having lots of money, considering that KBR would be expecting refunds from all the people they bribed to get the contract to build all the new prisons the government will be keeping us in.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959187)

Yeah, because working with your 'representative' really does effect meaningful political change. At least this distraction from representative democracy's fatal flaws is amusing.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (4, Insightful)

Red Jesus (962106) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959189)

But if these people would have spent a little more time working with their representatives, or mobilizing petitions, or SOMETHING that actually affected the political systems, they might actually have what they want. Now, they've got a much talked about game, and rights are still just as infringed-upon.

Do you really think that if these people had petitioned their representatives, the Guantanamo/Patriot Act/everything else issues would be solved? I used to write letters to government officials when I was in high school, but that didn't accomplish much. Right now, we need to educate the voting public about the serious issues facing them. And the gamemakers did exactly that.


Re:Yay for wasting time... (2, Insightful)

Red Flayer (890720) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959432)

"I used to write letters to government officials when I was in high school, but that didn't accomplish much."

That you are aware of. It's hard to realize you are having an effect when there is no tangible evidence handed to you.

Just as important as educating the voting public is attempting to affect the decisions of our lawmakers. It does no good to educate the public if none of the public is telling the lawmakers how we want them to vote.

Removing someone from office because we didn't like their decisions is too late -- it's just a form of censure. You've got to get them before they pass laws you don't like.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959197)

You know, in the time you took to post that comment you could have done something constructive, like work on a cure for cancer. But you wasted it on Slashdot. Yay for you.

This is how you affect the system (3, Interesting)

Gogl (125883) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959239)

Have you ever written a representative or senator? Ever gotten anything besides a standard intern-generated-and-stamped form letter? The only people who actually have access to politicians are big donors, and they're generally part of the system and part of the problem in the first place.

Petitions are nice, but the real way to raise awareness is to go to the people, not the politicians. If a game like this can raise awareness, more power to it. At the very least, it made some newspapers, and now Slashdot.

So don't dismiss it so quickly: I would say the creator of this game has already done more than you to bring about change. Awareness is important.

Re:This is how you affect the system (1)

Red Flayer (890720) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959287)

I agree with your response to the OP, but I'd like to point out that letter-writing is more effective than you think, particularly in large numbers.

BTW, I've received non-generic responses from several legislators -- particularly on the local level, but heck, Sen. Bill Bradley called me at home to discuss a letter I'd written him (ages ago, of course). Plus, it was one of the first political letters I'd written.

And some of those local politicians may eventually move up the chain -- so building a relationship with them on the local level can be surprisingly effective.

Re:This is how you affect the system (1)

Lars T. (470328) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959942)

If you want to see how fucked up politics in the US have become, you have to look no further than the recent Washington State Vegetable debacle.

Re:This is how you affect the system (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960806)

Or the recent State of Florida vegetable debacle...

yup, goin' to hell for that one.

...and you know this how...? (1)

phorm (591458) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959252)

And you know for sure this is true? Moreover, you know that they haven't, in fact, petitioned the government? There's nothing that says just because you do one thing you to make an impact can't (or haven't) done another as well. Personally, I think it's a lot better than the usual sit-on-your-@ss-and-take-it method most people have, as it might help spread awareness.

On the other hand, I don't see the game lasting long as it probably infringes on varying aspects of monopoly...

Infringement (1)

metamatic (202216) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960181)

Monopoly isn't privately owned. It was developed as a 'folk' game by Quakers, and was in the public domain. Parker Brothers engaged in fraud in an attempt to get a monopoly on it, ironically enough--but they failed. [] for the story.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (2, Interesting)

UNIX_Meister (461634) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959267)

Having been one of those who not only has written dozens of letters to many elected officials, protested, mobilized my neighbors, started website communities, and even created two movies. I think that the right thing to do *is* to create a game like this to get the word out. The average person doesn't care about politics, but a game like this is something that will spark interest. The only way to get our rights back is to influence a large number of people. The game will influence a large number of people.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (5, Insightful)

hey! (33014) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959585)

I rememeber hearing Mel Brooks interviewed after his film The Producers was made into a broadway play. The interviewer asked him how it was that he, a Jew, felt it was appropriate to make jokes about Nazis.

Brooks responded that you can't fight a dictator by getting up on a soap box. Dictators are, by nature, natural spell-binders, and you'll never outdebate them. But what you can do and what works is to make them look ridiculous.

So, in this case you paint the administration as a bunch of goose stepping blockheads who are besotted with fascism. It's not the way our system is supposed to work, but it's the way politics works.

Re:Yay for wasting time... (3, Insightful)

Guppy06 (410832) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959591)

"But if these people would have spent a little more time working with their representatives,"

Those representatives are in gerrymandered "safe districts." They don't have to care, they're the government.

Nothing to see here... (5, Funny)

Evil Closet Monkey (761299) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959077)

Slashdot provides its own brand of humor as I attempt to load the story and receive the following error:

Nothing to see here, move alone.

(or something to the effect) But a quick reload showed that "The Man" did not in fact supress the story.

Re:Nothing to see here... (4, Funny)

jamie (78724) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959190)

Your internet connection has been traced. Agents will be arriving at your door shortly. Please surrender quietly.

Re:Nothing to see here... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960772)

For gawd sakes, this is no longer funny people. FIX SLASHDOT! Save us from the stale "Nothing to see here jokes!"

Priceless (3, Funny)

TripMaster Monkey (862126) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959096)

I'm downloading this right now...looking forward to playing it with the in-laws next Sunday.

Here's one of the 'Homeland Security' cards:
According to FOX News, your criticisms of the President during wartime make you "guilty of granting aid and comfort to our enemies";
Roll the dice to see if you are GUILTY OF TREASON
A roll of even = not guilty; a roll of odd = guilty - sentenced to GTMO

Absolutely priceless.


Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959116)

Answer me TMM.

Re:Priceless (3, Funny)

Krach42 (227798) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959165)

This post has been labeled sedicious... please report to your local terrorist detainment camp, and allow them to re-educate you to be a Proper Patriotic American.

You commy filth piss me off... *gets a whisper from an aid in the ear* Oh... I mean, you TERRORIST filth piss me off...

Re:Priceless (5, Funny)

JamesonTheIrish (961868) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959364)

I'd like to see a card with: "You break your leg falling from the top of a Abu Ghraib-style ass pyramid. Pay $200 in doctor fees."

Re:Priceless (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959661)

Speaking as a liberal, TMM, you're the kind of obnoxious twat who turns America off to our message. Please learn to be less annoying.

Re:Priceless (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959762)

It does not take TMM to turn people away from liberalism. The fact that it is egoism turned into a political movement does enough.

Re:Priceless (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960152)

And what of the fact that conservatism is homophobia, racism, and Bible-thumping disguised as politics?

Re:Priceless (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960444)

First liberals were too communal and sharing. Now they're too individual and amoral. There should be a grand meeting of all conservative anti-intellectuals in which it is offcially decided which baseless stereotype they're going to use. Of course, Bush hasn't given them divine permission so it's probably not going to happen.

Re:Priceless (1)

roguenine19 (901001) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960032)

But is it fun to play?

Download location (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959125)

The game can be downloaded here [] .

We're doomed! (-1, Troll)

MaWeiTao (908546) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959212)

Yeah, we're losing all our civil liberties but some guy is still free to openly criticize the government without fear of the FBI showing up on his doorstep.

What is going on in China is an example of a lack of civil rights. Some guy calling people who criticize the government unpatriotic isn't an example of someone trampling on your rights. It's an example of that person exercising their right to free speech, just like anyone else is free to do. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean the guy should be censored.

I'm not necessarily defending what the US government is doing because I myself think some of it is wrong. I just can help but think that people are blowing things out of proportion and there are too many who seem to want free speech provided it's consistent with what they themselves believe.

If the government gets away with things its the fault of the citizens for caring more about crap like American Idol than they do what their politicians are up to. Then again, Europeans generally seem to be better informed and they have even less say over what their governments are doing than Americans, but that's a whole other story.

Your line of reasoning rang a bell (5, Insightful)

MarkusQ (450076) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959311)

Yeah, we're losing all our civil liberties but some guy is still free to openly criticize the government without fear of the FBI showing up on his doorstep.

Your line of reasoning rang a bell. Where did I hear it before? Oh yeah, I remember:

First They Came for the Jews

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

-- Pastor Martin Niemöller

You are confusing "going away" with "gone"; just because at sunset there is still more than enough light to read by, you can not conclude that daylight is not going away, and should not draw comfort from the fact that it isn't as dark as it is somewhere else on the planet.


Re:Your line of reasoning rang a bell (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959575)

I think the "Yeah, we're losing all our civil liberties" part was supposed to be sarcastic.

Re:Your line of reasoning rang a bell (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959708)

Except if that poem had been written in the US today it would read:

First they came for the... well, I'm sure they will come for some group.
And I did not speak out
because I was not a memeber of that group... that I'm *sure* they're just getting ready to come for, right now. I'm sure. I think I can hear them, yeah.
Then they came for the... oh dang, what's that other group they don't like again?... Oh well, they'll come for them too.
And I did not speak out
because I was not one of them... wait, I'm *not* one of them?... I though I was being oppressed here? My 'civil rights trampled' and all.
Then they came for the... oh damn. I have to get a third group or this thing'll be too dang short and it'll ruin the effect. Ummm... not to self: put third group here.
And I did not speak out
because I was not [insert third group].
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

Well, what fucking brilliant literature that is.

Re:Your line of reasoning rang a bell (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959841)

What group are they going after? Please let us know. Is it the Jews? Have they come after the Jews? What about the communists? I saw a bunch at a Cindy Sheehan rally the other day. They're still around. What about trade unionists? My uncle is in a union. They're still around.

Please name one group that fits your example. The problem with ignorant liberals is they're really good at preaching but can't produce a single real live situation that fits their fantasies of a fascist nation. Your words are nothing more than emotional triggers that aren't based anywhere near reality. It sounds damn good but it makes no sense when you actually look at the facts.

People who don't want to be spied on, for one. (1)

FatSean (18753) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960031)

You know, like me. I don't want my gov't spying on me with no paper way to determine in the future if something bad was done.

Bush wants this, because the curent wiretap rules allow him to spy for days before getting the warrant. The only reason I can think of for Bush not using this system is that he doesn't want anyone finding out that he is spying on people who are not a threat.

I smell a filthy no-login Freeper!

Re:Your line of reasoning rang a bell (2, Interesting)

jackbird (721605) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960052)

Unfortunately, the facts are highly secret. However, the fact that those facts are secret (warrantless wiretaps, indefinite detention, gag-order search warrants, secret unaccountable no-fly lists) is extremely disturbing, because I have yet to hear a plausible scenario under which those things are necessary that is congruent with the rule of law under our constitution.

To answer your question directly, however, right now they are going after the Muslims (if the story of Jose Padilla doesn't outrage you, you need to have another look) and the poor (dismantling welfare/public health/education/affordable housing/manufacturing base, and building jails to handle the results).

Re:Your line of reasoning rang a bell (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960448)

How about dead beat dads, loose your job, owe $2500 and administratively loose you right to travel (no drivers licence, no passport,moving to another state is flight). In california prostitutes become registerd sex offenders for life. How about gun owners and smokers, hot rodders and xbox modders.

This is America... (0, Troll)

Cryptnotic (154382) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960284)

They haven't come for the Jews.
They haven't come for the Communists.
They haven't come for the trade unionists.
And they haven't come for you.

Maybe you wish that they had, so that your message would have more meaning.

Re:This is America... (4, Insightful)

Tim Browse (9263) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960401)

They haven't come for the Communists.

Ahem. []

Or did you just mean not recently?

Re:This is America... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960511)

That's right, McCarthy put thousands of Communists in prisons. Over the following decades more and more 'subversive' groups were rounded up and interned...

Or, you know, that *didn't* happen.

Unless you count an overzealous, but arguably correctly directed campain to root out spies *that were actually there* as "comming for the communists" then you've got no point.

It always amazes me how people like you are always willing to bend the meaning of anything to suit your beliefs. It's summed up in one phrase: "I've made up my mind, dont confuse me with the facts."

Re:This is America... (0, Offtopic)

nasch (598556) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960527)

So.... you're saying McCarthyism was appropriate, Constitutional, not a violation of civil rights? Or are you saying something else?

Re:This is America... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960410)

The fact is, "they" ARE coming.
They're coming for muslims.
They're coming for the homosexuals.
They're coming for abortion providers.
They're coming for environmentalists (Greenpeace? Terrorists? Puhleeze).
They're coming for leftist protesters.
They are wiretapping private citizen's domestic telephone conversations.
They are restricting your right to free speech.
They are rigging elections.
Soon enough, they'll come for you, if you ever open your eyes. Keep em shut, agree with everything you're told to think, and you'll be "safe."
Yes indeed, they are coming.

I may sound paranoid, but I consider myself a student of history. Here's hoping I never get the chance to say, "told you so!"

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross. -Sinclair Lewis, 1935

Re:We're doomed! (4, Insightful)

bahwi (43111) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959677)

Yes! Look that way! At China! Now THEY have it bad! Don't look here! No! You can still criticize us! Look over there!

Oh! Got a law passed. Haha, no you can't criticize us! Good job paying attention to China.

An old idiom goes, you don't have to be better than someone else to make it, you have to be the best. So no, what's going on in China is important, but you have to ALWAYS look and see what is going on here.

And there are far more civil liberties than "The right to free speech"

Re:We're doomed! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959776)

Name one civil liberty that you have lost during this administration. Please. Name just ONE. Tell the world which of your guaranteed constitutional rights that you can no longer do because of the Patriot Act or whatever. Remember, it has to be a guaranteed right. You're not allowed to say things like "Smoking bans took away my right to smoke!" because smoking is not a guaranteed right. It's a privilege.

I'm so sick of mindless ignorant fuckheads repeating the same damn paranoid propaganda and refusing to actually list an example.

Re:We're doomed! (1)

G)-(ostly (960826) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959832)

The president of the United States has exercised the power to secretly arrest and detain American citizens without charge, access to a lawyer, or due process rights.

That's ONE. Never mind the torture, spying, and the fact that the president was elected against the will of the people in 2000. You only asked for one.

I'm so sick of mindless ignorant fuckheads...

That's okay, I'm sick of people like you who can't have anything approaching a slightly intelligent conversation. Go back to your moonshine, Bubba, there's nothing for you here with the durned lerned librawl posters from mas-a-choose-ettes.

Re:We're doomed! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959954)

lol that's funny. The people don't elect a president. The electoral college does. You losers are incapable of understanding how the voting process works in this nation and decided to take the matter to court where you (of course) lost and you're still crying about it I see. You can get a majority vote from the people and still lose. It's really not a very complicated fact. You should learn about government before complaining next time so you don't look like a total ass.

Terrorists are taught to claim torture every chance they get. If you want to believe the enemy when he says we were big ol meanies to him then I guess you can be an enemy sympathizer. I bet you're Muslim too huh. Guess what? This is war you idiot. Oh, and the Abu Garaib pictures? I've seen the exact same things done during frat hazing. Humiliation is not torture numbnuts. Torture is being trapped under a block of cement from the WTC while you slowly bleed to death. You side with the enemy though so you can't comprehend that. Oh no we can't feel bad for Americans! Americans are evil! Long live Bin Laden!

I guess you think it was wrong of the President to block the media from reporting on Japanese balloon bombs during WWII also. OMG! Freedom of speech! OH NOES!

Please get with reality.

Blah Blah (2, Funny)

G)-(ostly (960826) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960449)

<politics type="conversation" location="internet">
Fanatical Bushtard: loffle prove it numbnuttzorz!111oneeleventyoneone

Liberal and/or Moderate and/or anybody still grounded in reality: [Intelligent, meaningful rejoinder]

Fanatical Bushtard: ErrrrErrrrhurrrrrdurrr NUH UH FUCK YOU FAGGOT!!!1111

Yea, yea. Blah blah. Go felate Karl Rove some more you overstuffed NASCAR inbred. Bush could be standing in front of you biting off the heads off small children and you'd still get down on your knees and grovel like you were looking at God Himself.

You asked, I answered, you're clearly a child who should be doing his homework, so get back to work. I'd like to think that not everyone from your generation is such an imbecile, otherwise I'm going to starve in my old age.

Re:We're doomed! (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960547)

That's the best you can do? This is all you've got?

Making fun of people for pointing out that since the electoral college votes are based on the popular vote, a successful challenge to the Florida vote would have changed the electoral votes cast by their college members and thus the election (while telling them that they should study government)? Making the same old tired claim that having sticks shoved up your ass and having your balls electrocuted is just "humiliating" (If gay sex is "only" humiliating then why is the President so gung-ho about banning it)? Making the most pathetic attempt to link Iraqis to 9/11 that I've seen (insert stats about Saudi participants, and the fact that until we kicked him out, Saddam was busy gassing bin Laden's Kurdish friends)?

reporting on Japanese balloon bombs during WWII also.

Funny you should mention the last war America ever declared.

Please get with reality.

Reality? The reality is that our administration held an American citizen without trial for years (and don't give me some "terrorists have no rights" bullshit, since even the government has quit calling Padilla a terrorist). The reality is that we have a secret no-fly list that prevents those awful terrorist infants from ever setting foot on a plane. The reality is that our government freezes citizens' accounts for paying down credit card debt on the chance that Mastercard is secretly a front for a terrorist organization or drug cartel.

Do you have a real rebuttal?

Re:We're doomed! (1)

0xdeadbeef (28836) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960028)

Rights are not a gift given by a government. They are assertions, part of the contract with government, and define the line which crossed justifies rebellion.

The control of government power is a check to make sure rebellion is never necessary. Broad surveillence powers with no oversight are a threat against the people.

The secret do-not-fly list of American citizens. You lose.

Re:We're doomed! (2, Informative)

Qzukk (229616) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960044)

Name one civil liberty that you have lost during this administration.

The 6th Amendment. []

Re:We're doomed! (2, Insightful)

Qzukk (229616) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960773)

Tell the world which of your guaranteed constitutional rights that you can no longer do because of the Patriot Act or whatever.

Also, The Ninth and Tenth Amendments. Every power the government claims for itself that is not mentioned in the Constitution is one that has been stripped from the States and the People respectively.

Others mentioned the no-fly list. People claim that I have no right to fly (see also: 9th Amendment), I claim that the United States has no right to prevent me from flying. If you find this in the Constitution, let me know. "Interstate commerce" doesn't count, as the no-fly list applies even on intrastate flights.

Others mentioned elections. Elections are specifically delegated to the states, with the exception that Congress can choose the election date. Someone (you?) claimed that the Florida election was "lost", however, the SCOTUS cancelled the recount before a statement could have been made as to who "won" or "lost".

Re:We're doomed! (4, Informative)

G)-(ostly (960826) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959811)

The president has claimed that he has the power to declare any living being, American citizen or not, an "enemy combatant". He has further claimed that enemy combatants are neither covered by United States civil law, nor the Geneva conventions, and he has exercised his power to secretly detain them, without charge, indefinitely. Once detained, he has denied these people rights to an attorney, the right to a trial, and even the right to see the evidence against them.

It wasn't until the court stepped in and slapped him down that some of this changed.

At which point it was quickly made clear that the judiciary is the tool of evil leftist terrorists. This has resulted in people ranging from terrorist right wingers to elected lawmakers calling for the judiciary to be either outright collapsed, or made a pawn subject to the whims of the Congress (in fact, right wing terrorists even publicly called for the Supreme Court justices to be assassinated). This call has been furthered in relation to preventing them from exercising the power to rule on cases involving discrimination against gays, and in relation to cases such as Terri Schiavo's where it was determined that there was no grounds for the government to interfere in the legal rights of Mr. Schiavo.

Furthermore, please note that George W. Bush is yet another individual "elected" to the presidency against the will of the people.

On top of all that, Mr. Bush has authorized the NSA to go ahead and secretly wiretap, with no public access to information, anybody he deems requires wiretapping. Mr. Bush requires no justification, as there's nobody to stop him.

But, don't worry. I'm sure that's not really that bad, and that it's just a matter of things being "blown out of proportion".

Re:We're doomed! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960871)

If a guy is firing a gun at an American soldier, he's a fucking enemy combatant. No fucking trial needed. If the guy firing that gun isn't wearing a uniform, he doesn't have *any* rights if he's captured - torture, castration, disembowlment, slavery, it's all fair game under the Geneva Convention. No government in all Earth's history has ever put up with brigands.

Re:We're doomed! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959835)

without fear of the FBI showing up on his doorstep.

Except even that is no longer true anymore. While (as far as anyone knows, since if they had "disappeared" someone they certainly wouldn't be around to tell us) they haven't actually arrested anyone over things they've said (unless you joke about burning bushes, which is an offense to good humor [] ) there is the occasional visit from the secret service or the FBI (typically recanted a few days after they've posted their story on the internet). The thing is, these people are very busy and have very important things to do like investigating $6000 payments to Mastercard, so just saying "LOL Bush sucks" on a public forum isn't enough to get their attention. You've gotta at least suggest that the president should get a smallpox vaccination []

Re:We're doomed! (1)

fm6 (162816) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959887)

A slight grammar lesson: "losing" is not the same as "lost". It comes first.

Re:We're doomed! (4, Insightful)

PhreakOfTime (588141) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960155)

Moderate, or respond? RESPOND!

You do know that american idol was taken directly from a EUROPEAN TV SHOW called pop idol?

Trying to call the american public 'stupid', along with saying that somehow the abuse of power commited by certain individuals in the US governemnt is to be blamed on the general public shows me all I need to know about your line of reasoning. Otherwise, can you support your argument with something other than straw? Using the phrase 'some people say', or 'some believe', and then countering with your own statement, is a horribly wrongly overused style of debate. You may have heard of it, its called setting up a 'straw man'. The only purpose of which is to knock down, making you look like you are actually debating something.

You believe leaders to be god like figures who are destined to rule over the 'unwashed masses' who dont know any better.

Blowing things out of proportion? warrantless wiretaps, detainment wihtout legal representation, arrest without being informed of your crimes, media used for propaganda, and now PHYSICAL warantless searches as well. Exactly at what point do you think it would be appropriate to stand up for yourself? When the boot is already on your neck?

I hate to tell you, but you ARE necessarily defending what the government is doing. Saying you are 'not necessarily' defending it is to soften your language to fool yourself into believing your own words. Unfortunately, subjective thought matters little to objective reality. Looks like you fooled someone else beside yourself though, as you were marked as 'insightful'. I wonder if it was one of those guilty, stupid, uncaring americans who modded you as such? Maybe it was one of those 'enlightened' Europeans who are smarter because they made 'pop idol' a smash hit in europe first?

Believe it or not, you are advocating fascism. Stop trying to put makeup on a pig and telling me it is beautiful.

Re:We're doomed! (1)

dbIII (701233) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960762)

fear of the FBI showing up on his doorstep
The FBI are conventional law enforcement and use conventional law enforcement methods to extract information that will leave you sane and physically undamaged afterwards. It's the other agencies you have to worry about, the ones that don't appear to be acountable anymore. The French experience with Algeria showed that once you have unaccountable agencies taking extreme measures overseas they may take extreme measures at home.

Live action version (4, Funny)

MarkusQ (450076) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959241)

Looks like a diverting way to spend an evening. My question though: I've heard some talk of there being a MMRT/LA* version and I was wondering if anyone had any information on how to opt out?


* Massively Multi -Player Real Time / Live Action

Re:Live action version (1)

Guppy06 (410832) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959883)

"Live action?"

"I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!"

Re:Live action version (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959974)

Move? (to Mars...)

Mourning a genre (3, Interesting)

Y-Crate (540566) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959253)

The glory age of political games has long past, and hardcore fans of the genre such as myself have found ourselves lacking in new titles. You won't find successors to Conflict: Middle East Political Simulator [] , Hidden Agenda [] and Shadow President [] made these days. In the past decade, we've seen only a tiny, tiny handful of games in this genre, one of which is the original Tropico - which if you install the expansion pack, is quite a fun game that lets you examine all kinds of political systems by implementing them yourself without restriction. If you have a Mac, Simbabwe [] is certainly worth your attention (and it's free!)
"Welcome to Simbabwe, where the property is already owned and the houses built and you compete to burn and dispossess them. Bounce around the map plundering farms, denying grain silos to opposition supporters and robbing the community chest."
Political sims are truly the best ways to combine entertainment and education, and I sincerely hope that some indie developers reading this looks over some of the older games I've linked to and is inspired to develop a cross-platform title, as there isn't much to choose from right now.

Re:Mourning a genre (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959791)

Did you miss that guy advertising his Democracy game in every second story?

Re:Mourning a genre (1)

Y-Crate (540566) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959948)

"Did you miss that guy advertising his Democracy game in every second story?"
Actually, I did. Looking into it, I discovered that it's not cross-platform, and doesn't function under emulation, so I can't do much with it.

Anyone who plans on releasing a shareware game should seriously consider the Mac side of things, as we are probably the only group of users who can be counted on to keep a shareware developer solvent.

Re:Mourning a genre (1)

cliffski (65094) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960265)

*that guy* has a mac version currently in development.

Re:Mourning a genre (1)

Y-Crate (540566) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960464)

Oh, excellent. :)

Could I trouble you for an ETA and the knowledge of wether or not it will be a Universal Binary? From what I've seen, I pretty much plan on buying it the first second it's available.

stupid nerds (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959275)

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These search terms have been highlighted: look at how fat you are
(Male Gain story)
By fa12345
Mark grabbed his substantial belly with both hands. Since his girlfriend Janey left for college, he'd promised himself to take ten pounds off his 260-pound frame, but it wasn't going so well. In fact, he'd actually put on weight since she left. He missed her, and in her absence found himself eating lots of "comfort food." He now struggled to button his jeans under his gut; he promised himself to go on a diet and lose some weight before he visited Janey at school.

Meanwhile, Janey sighed and looked at a picture of Mark on her bulletin board. How handsome he was, with a head of thick brown hair, intelligent eyes, and a tall frame. And he carried his weight so well, with a delicious belly and the beginnings of a double chin. At 260 pounds, he wasn't a small guy, but she still wished he were bigger, maybe 300...350...did she dare to dream of more?

She'd never told him how much she wanted him to put on even more weight, but she'd tried to get the message across. She gushed over how much she loved his body. She stroked his belly during lovemaking, saying how hot it was. At meals, she'd subtly encourage him to eat more: "Oh, you can't be full *yet*!" She'd say, urging him to clean his plate, or "I bet you can eat a *few* more," with a challenging glint in her eye. She'd talk about her favorite fat actors, emphasizing their sexiness. But he either didn't believe her, or didn't want to gain weight. She tried to give up the dream, but it never disappeared entirely.

Looking at the picture of Mark, Janey had an idea. She scanned it into her computer, then signed online. She found one of her favorite webpages, a gallery of pictures of enormously fat men. She downloaded a favorite shot into her photo program, of a man holding up his shirt to reveal his huge breasts, giant stomach, and love handles. She took the head from the Mark picture, and put it on the fat body. She made Mark's face more jowled, and added a third chin. There!

Janey surveyed the results, and felt herself grow warm. She'd done a good job, and it actually looked like her boyfriend had gained at least a hundred pounds. The idea of making love to *this* Mark, his blubber bouncing against her, made her incredibly hot. She masturbated right then and there, imagining how his rolls of fat would feel under her hands. She put the picture up as the wallpaper on her computer, so she could look at it anytime. Janey could hardly wait for Mark's visit in a couple weeks.

On the day he was to visit, Mark stepped on the scale, wincing. Every time he'd tried to diet, it had only made him hungrier, and his consumption of junk food had actually increased. He looked at the scale and groaned: 275. Great. She was going to take one look at his fat ass and lose all interest. Half his clothes didn't fit anymore, and the rest were straining at the seams. And they'd only been apart for two months!

Discouraged, Mark went into his bedroom and tore open a bag of chips. He munched away, and wondered what to do. He thought about his girlfriend, and it occurred to him that maybe she wouldn't notice. She'd put up with his extra poundage before, and sometimes he even thought...she *liked* it. But no, that's silly. How could she, he thought, unbuttoning his tight khakis for comfort. He reached for more chips, to find that he'd finished the bag. Oops, he thought, guiltily hiding the chip bag in the garbage.

Janey couldn't wait for Mark to get there. She kept looking out the window for his cab from the airport. She'd cleaned her room and stocked it with all sorts of goodies, and was wearing her prettiest lingerie under her sexiest dress. Finally, she saw him pull up, and ran to the door. "Sweetie!" She shouted, throwing her arms around him. "Come in, come in!"

Mark paid the cabbie and they went inside, climbing the stairs to her room. Janey noticed that Mark was breathing pretty hard just from walking up the stairs, which excited her. Maybe he'd gotten more sedentary after she left.

As the door closed, he grabbed her and kissed her. "Oh, I've missed you," he murmured into her hair. They embraced for a long, long moment, then she pulled back and held him at arm's length to look at him.He seemed to have put on a little weight, to her delight. He had a clear double chin, and the buttons on his shirt were straining.

"You look great," she said honestly. "I really missed you, too." Mark blushed, glad she hadn't said anything about his recent weight gain.

"I have a little problem, though," said Janey. Oh no, thought Mark, here it comes. She's disgusted by me.

"I have a lab right now, and I forgot all about it," she said apologetically. "There's a no-absence policy, and I have to go. Will you be okay here for a couple hours?"

He was so relieved she hadn't mentioned his weight, he smiled. "Yeah, it's no problem. But hurry back, my little student! We have lots of catching up to do!"

"Thanks," she said, and kissed him. Was it his imagination, or did she brush her hand over his stomach? Hmmm. "Make yourself at home, there's the TV, and there's lots of food in the mini-fridge." He wondered if that was a subtle dig, then chided himself for being obsessed with weight.

"I love you, bye!" He called as she sidled out the door. He went to the computer, figuring he'd check his e-mail. As it loaded up, he was astonished at the computer's wallpaper. It was a picture of him, but it was like looking in a funhouse mirror! He was triply chinned, and his meaty arms held up his shirt. What he was revealing was two enormous breasts, and a vast blubbery belly that hung far over his huge pants. He was so big that even his hips and butt were fat!

Mark sat back, bewildered. As he looked closer, he realized that she'd put his head on a different body, but why? She hadn't known about him putting on weight. And this version of himself would weigh at least 400 pounds! Mark tried to imagine himself that breathtakingly fat, and found the idea too strange to contemplate.

Mark considered more seriously the idea that maybe, just maybe, his girlfriend actually wanted him to get fatter. She *was* always baking and buying him treats, and trying to get him to eat more. She *did* rub his belly lovingly all the time, and say how much she loved his body, chubby though he was.

Janey was pretty shy about her fantasies, and this one was so strange, he could see why she never brought it up with him. But Mark had an idea of how to see if she wanted him to put on weight.

Mark turned off the computer, and turned on the T.V. He opened the mini-fridge, and pulled out some ice cream, some pudding cups, chocolate milk, and some leftover pizza. He located a spoon, and dug into the ice cream. Good thing he was hungry--he made short work of a pint of ice cream, three pudding cups, a carton of chocolate milk, and three pieces of pizza. His stomach ached, but he was willing to deal with a little pain for this experiment. He opened Janey's pantry, and was happy to see a box of Pop-Tarts and a bag of chips. He started in on those, eating much slower but still managing a bite every now and then. He left the empty containers by his feet, so she could see how much he'd eaten, and didn't bother to brush the crumbs off his distended stomach.

Janey hurried back from lab, anxious to see her Mark. She opened the door to her room, and her eyes widened at the sight: Mark sat on the bed, crunching a handful of chips. An astonishing number of empty food containers were laid neatly at his feet, and it looked as if he'd cleaned out her fridge AND pantry. The buttons on his shirt were hanging on for dear life over his bloated belly, which was covered with food crumbs. There was a smudge of chocolate on his cheek. He looked up at her and smiled, brushing his greasy hand on his pants.

"Hi, honey!" He said brightly. "Had a little *BURP* snack while you were gone." Here was the piece de resistance, he thought, and pushed his stomach out as far as it would go. Two buttons exploded off his shirt and his stomach peeked through.

Janey stared, openmouthed, her pussy growing warm and wet. Little snack? He'd eaten enough for three people, and he practically looked pregnant, with his stomach hanging over his waistband. It was so hot. " sure did," she said. She kneeled on the floor in front of him, and kissed him hard. Mmm, he tasted like sugar and salt. "You are SO HOT," she said, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and laying him back on the bed.

"Be gentle," he warned, "I'm really full." She deftly removed his shirt without disturbing his belly, but his pants button was trapped under a roll of fat. He undid the pants and slid them off. She pulled off his boxers, and his erection popped out from under the big belly. She slipped out of her dress, and he sighed his approval at her lacy bra and panties. Then she took those off, and they had the hottest sex they'd ever experienced.

Janey was nearly frantic with desire. She kept moaning, "God, look at you, you're so hot," and running her hands over his belly. As she came, she grabbed his love handles and squeezed. "Aaaaugh!" She screamed, her eyes closed. It was such a sight, he came shortly thereafter. Afterward, they lay close together in her narrow bed and he figured he had his answer. Janey wanted him fat, really fat. And if it would improve their sex life this much, he was all for it.

Janey didn't say a word, but there was a clear difference in Mark during his visit that weekend. At meals, he ate without apology, and when he claimed to be full, she'd egg him on. "Surely you can eat just one more bite," she'd say, smiling sweetly. Instead of protesting as he would have before, Mark would just smile back, clean his plate, and then have dessert, too! Watching him ingest thousands of calories at each meal was so arousing, Janey and Mark did little other than eat and screw that weekend. It was wonderful.By the end, Mark was using two safety pins to hold his pants closed, since there was no chance of buttoning them.

Janey kissed him goodbye, savoring the feeling of his slightly-bigger gut between them. "This weekend was much too short, sweetie," she said regretfully. "I hope I get to see a lot more of you at Christmas!"

Mark wondered if she realized her pun. A lot *more* of him. He decided not to mention it. "Oh, definitely, babe," he promised as he got in the cab. "I love you!"

Janey walked back to her room, musing over the wonderful weekend. What had piqued Mark's appetite so much? She hoped he wouldn't lose weight at home, but she wouldn't be there to encourage him, either. Oh, well, she thought. It was nice to see him pigging out for a weekend, anyway. Maybe I can encourage him to keep it up over the phone, she thought.

As soon as Mark got home, he went shopping for food. As he piled his cart high with both food staples and fattening treats, he planned a sort of reverse diet. By Janey's Christmas break, he'd have broken 300 pounds, at least, he decided. And since he'd put on a couple pounds just that weekend, he could definitely do it. It was only October, and he had nine weeks.

He plunged headlong into a decadent lifestyle. Since he worked from home, it was easy. Three giant meals a day, and plentiful snacks. He worked mostly on computer, so he sat most of the time. He stopped his sporadic visits to the gym, and spent his evenings watching TV and snacking.

Occasionally, he'd go out for a meal with friends, but it got embarrassing as his appetite grew. "Dude, are you going out for sumo wrestling?" One of them asked him as he finished a huge steak and ordered a banana split. "Your girlfriend goes away, and you start packing on the pounds!" He went with another friend took him out to the movies, and he actually found it difficult to squeeze into a seat.

Janey noticed that every time she called, he seemed to be eating. "Sorry, hon," he'd say, "Just finishing up dinner."

"Oh, what'cha eating?" She'd say innocently, hoping it was fatty and decadent.

It was. "Oh, one of those family buckets from the fried chicken place," he'd say.

Family bucket! "Wow, you were hungry, huh?" She'd say, secretly thrilled. "That's good, don't want my strong man to waste away while I'm gone!"

"No chance of that, babe," he'd say, slapping his gut to watch it jiggle. "I'm going out for ice cream later." He could hear her breathe a little faster on the other end of the line, and smiled. He had weighed in at 285 that morning. She wouldn't know what hit her by Christmas.

He became a fantastic cook since he lived alone, creating huge feasts for himself, and alternating his own cooking with fast food and restaurants. He was such a quick study, he asked his mom what he could make for Thanksgiving that year (he always spent Thanksgiving with his family, three states away).

"Honey, you cook?" His mom said, astonished. "I never thought I'd see the day! Well, can you make pie?"

He laughed. Pie was one of his favorites, and he could eat more than one at a sitting. "I'll make a couple, Mom." Maybe he could use his newfound interest in cooking to explain his increased girth. It wouldn't be easy, last time he'd been at a family function he had weighed 260, and Thanksgiving morning he weighed in at 298. His pants size was increasing in leaps and bounds, and he found himself shopping for clothes almost as often as he did for food!

At Thanksgiving dinner, Mark tried to keep his dinner a normal size. He loved turkey with all the fixings, but didn't want to alarm people by taking thirds and fourths of everything. After everyone had gone off to watch football, Mark polished off most of the leftovers. He ate so much that he felt dizzy and had to go lay down.

As he lay in his old bedroom, unable to see over his huge belly, Mark imagined what Janey would have done if she were there, watching him eat slices of turkey, handfuls of mashed potatoes and stuffing, a dish of cranberry sauce, and nearly a whole pie with whipped cream. He imagined her spooning gravy into his mouth, cooing, "Oooh, just think how fat this'll make you! That belly's going to hang down to your *knees*!" The thought was so arousing that he masturbated, enjoying how his arm slapped against his fat stomach and made it quiver. Being fat was a great sensual pleasure, he thought, and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning he weighed himself, and lo and behold, 300 pounds. And it was only Thanksgiving! Just imagine what he could do by Christmas!

As he finished cooking breakfast, the phone rang. Janey, calling from her grandmother's house. "How are you, hon? I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, babe, I've been awake for a while. But haven't had breakfast yet, so I can't talk too long--I'm STARVING!"

Janey paused. Then, coquettishly, "You can eat breakfast while you're on the phone, if you want. Just tell me what you're eating, so that I can pretend I'm with you, okay?"

"Sure, babe. Well, I'm starting off with cinnamon rolls and coffee..." They kept talking, he kept eating, and as they talked, he ate a plate of cinnamon rolls, a four-egg omelet, a pile of bacon, a bowl of fruit and cream, and several donuts. Of course, he only told Janey about the cinnamon rolls and the fruit...didn't want to give away the surprise!

Janey was thrilled, on her end of the phone. Mark had never been much of a breakfast-eater, and now he was eating something as rich as fruit and cream! Surely he could have put on a couple pounds while she was gone.

During the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Mark made his final preparations for Janey coming home. He bought her gifts (mostly online, because walking through the mall was too much exercise), bought himself some stylish "fat clothes," and bought a big water bed (no way he and Janey could both fit on his old one). And, he ATE.

It became a challenge to see how many calories he could take in and how few he could expend each day. He started having his gigantic grocery orders delivered to the house, as well as many of his meals. He found a way to mix 2,000-calorie weight-gain shake mix with several other ingredients to make something both tasty and *very* fattening. He'd started to get winded just getting out of his new waterbed in the morning, both due to his sedentary nature and his rapidly acquired extra poundage. Mark ate from morning to night--he'd spread an array of goodies around him where he sat working, and when those were gone, he'd make some more.

Finally, the day he'd waited for came--Janey called to say she was home and wanted to see him. He asked her to come over at 7:00 that night.

Janey wondered what he was planning, that he needed the extra time. She waited on pins and needles to see her handsome boyfriend all day. She did her hair, bought new lingerie, painted her nails, and put on a Christmas-red dress. Finally, she drove over to Mark's house, her heart pounding with joy.

When she got to Mark's there was a sign on the door that said, "Come in, Janey." The door was unlocked, so she did. The table was set for two, with candles and everything. The house smelled delicious. "Hello?" She called out.

"I'm in the bedroom, love!" Shouted Mark. "Just getting dressed!"

"Can I come back?" Janey called.

"Yeah, I need some help, anyway!" Mark called back.

Janey walked down the hall and opened Mark's door. Oh, wow. The whole thing was filled with candles, and Seal was on the stereo. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness, she gasped. "Oh my god, Mark."

He grinned. "It's the same thing I was wearing when I came to see you in October, but I'm having some trouble getting into it." Janey could see why. His face was much rounder, and he really did have three chins. The buttondown shirt barely allowed for his much-fatter upper arms, and the only button he could do up was the top one. Two fat breasts with big nipples pushed out throught the opening, and under that...oh, my. His stomach stretched out a couple feet in front of him, hanging down to his upper thighs. It was dimpled and jiggling. His rolls hung over the sides of his boxer shorts several inches. The pants couldn't even get all the way over his thighs and newly-flabby wide ass, not that it mattered. They were at least six inches away from buttoning. He pretended to struggle with the pants some more, and turned around so she could see that he'd ripped the seat out of his boxer shorts. He was sweating and panting with the effort of putting on these much-too-tight clothes. The effect was breathtaking.

As Janey stared, openmouthed, he smiled and walked over to the bedside table, where there was one piece of pizza left in a box that had at one time held a large pizza. He picked it up and began to eat. "Boy, that's hard work. I guess I've put on a few pounds since I wore these things last." He smiled to show that he was joking.

"Did you eat that whole pizza?" Janey squeaked. She just couldn't get over the wonder of her Mark, so gloriously fat.

"Baby, I can almost eat *two* whole pizzas," bragged Mark, grabbing one of his love handles and shaking it. His whole gut rippled in response.

Janey could take it no longer. She ripped off the comically small shirt to feast her eyes on that huge, gorgeous gut. She grabbed his breasts and squeezed. "Wow, these are amazing." Then she ran her hands over his massive torso. "But this is the best of all. Look at how FAT you are!" She made him take off the pants and boxers, and looked at him in all his naked, jiggling, stretch-marked glory.

"Oh, Mark, you are immense!" She said joyfully. She pressed herself up against his soft stomach, and they kissed insatiably. They fell back on the waterbed, and his whole form rippled in response to the mattress' motion. He tore off her clothes, and they had incredible sex. In the middle of it, with Janey on top, riding the waves of Mark's belly, he said, "Want me to be on top?"

Janey bit her lip and nodded. And with gravity pulling all his fat toward her, he looked even bigger. "You ready?" He said. As he entered her, and put his weight on her, she felt deliciously crushed. She could barely breathe under his new heaviness, which was incredibly exciting. She felt that tremendous gut, those flabby breasts, pressing on her. She tried to reach his butt with her hands, and couldn't get there.

She was in ecstasy. "Oh, Mark..." She whispered.

"Oh, I crushing you?" He panted.

"Ohhhhh, yes, with that huge, fat body! And I love it!" She screamed as she came. He came too, and rolled off her, so that she could breathe.

As she cuddled up to Mark's sweaty flab, Janey ran one hand idly over his belly.

"Do you like it?" Said Mark, knowing that she did.

"Oh, Mark, I love it! You're gorgeous! How big are you, anyway?" Said Janey, smiling.

Mark was excited to tell her. "322 pounds, as of this morning."

"Since October? How? Mark, that's 62 pounds!" She was astounded.

Mark thought. "Well, I put on 15 before I came to see you, 2 that weekend, and 45 after that."

"Were you trying to put on weight? I love it, but why?" Janey asked.

He looked at her pretty eyes. "I put on 15 without trying, and then when I saw the doctored picture of me on your computer I put two and two together..."

Janey blushed. "Oh my gosh! And you gained 45 pounds so that I'd find you more attractive?"

"Well, you have to admit, the fatter I get, the more of an animal you are in bed." He chuckled, and his fat rippled.

"You are gorgeously fat. But you know, you're still not as fat as that picture on my computer..." She said teasingly.

He grabbed the half-piece of pizza on the nightstand and started munching away. "Not yet, baby, not YET!" He said.

Re:stupid nerds (3, Informative)

KingBraden (959219) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959503)

I know this is offtopic, but I just read the entire thing. I wanted everyone out there to know this was not funny, nor was it clever, Do not do what I just did.

link to the site (0, Redundant)

swatthatfly (808033) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959361)

Just in case you're wondering, the link to the website is here: [] Oh, and this is a board game not computer game. You can download and print the board/cards/rules etc and play it. The game is not for sale and it doesn't have a license from Hasbro.

It doesn't need a license from Hasbro (1)

metamatic (202216) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960215)

Hasbro don't own Monopoly. []

The first one to say... (4, Funny)

CanSpice (300894) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959385)

..."the only winning move is not to play" gets smacked.

Re:The first one to say... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14959612)

You just did.

Re:The first one to say... (4, Funny)

ahem (174666) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960613)


Re:The first one to say... (2)

robberbarron (171029) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960640)

I see you are familiar with "Global Thermonuclear War"?

Police State, anyone? (5, Interesting)

kingsmedley (796795) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959628)

This game sounds eerily similair to Police State, a game that was developed in the 1960's and inspired by life in the Soviet Union. The goal was a little different - you were trying to become the Soviet Premier (basically, the only person with any rights) while avoiding being denounced by others and sent to Siberia. The game board was even vaguely Monopoly-ish (in appearance, not in play).

If you're curious, you can see the game here. []

For the love of Pete... (1, Redundant)

PFI_Optix (936301) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959817)

...could someone PLEASE finally tell me what civil liberties are threatened by the PA?

I've been hearing about this for five years or so now, but it's always this vague "oh no they're taking our civil liberties". No one ever actually states the real problem.

When did it become so difficult to actually inform the people, rather than just spout the equivalent of sensationalist headlines? It's hard to be worried about the PA when I haven't been affected by it at all and no one who tells me I should worry can tell me specifically why.

Preemptive strike against negative mod points: This is NOT a troll, I'm honestly asking for information. In five years of reading stuff like this, no one has ever pointed to specific items from the PA that directly threaten my liberties. I tend not to believe anything I read on the web unless the author can support it.

Re:For the love of Pete... (5, Informative)

CompSci101 (706779) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960078)

Well, for instance, the Fourth and Fifth Amendments are pretty soundly trashed by the PATRIOT Act.

The surveillance powers granted are in direct circumvention of the Fourth Amendment, whereby a judge must be asked for a warrant for law enforcement to conduct any action against a citizen. The argument against is that informing the "Terrorists" of what is going to be searched/siezed in advance (which is what the Constitution requires) is inexpedient. The problem being that, if you're not a terrorist, you're pretty much screwed and have no recourse because any warrants issued (if they were issued at all -- see the National Wiretapping problem) were issued in secrecy and to talk about them is a crime according to other sections of the PATRIOT Act.

The Fifth Amendment is violated because the actions law enforcement takes deprive you of due process. You're not allowed to see the "evidence" against you until you've been exported to Egypt for "questioning" and returned.

Basically: the whole reason the Fourth and Fifth Amendments exist -- to protect citizens against overreaching Executive law enforcement powers -- is trampled by the PATRIOT Act.

Please see: The Bill of Rights []

Re:For the love of Pete... (1)

N1AK (864906) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960175)

I'll take your post at face value, but will pre-warn that as a Brit my knowledge of the patriot act is somewhat limited. Now first may I start by saying simply because something doesn't effect you, doesn't mean you should be for it. Anti race, religion and sexuality law making could be an example of this. However how 'could' or 'does' PA effect you: Well thanks to 'sneak-and-peek', you might never know it's being used against you. Whenever you borrow a book from a libary (if you do that kind of thing) then you can bet that that information goes somewhere, so just hope its nothing contentious. And even I have heard of people being visited by homeland security for borrowing books (and no not terrorism hand books). Add to that the harm the large number of innocent people of none American origin have come to: "By my count, based on government-released figures, they've detained over 5,000 foreign nationals in antiterrorism-related initiatives," says David Cole, a Georgetown University law professor and author of the forthcoming book "Enemy Aliens." "The government has treated thousands of people as suspected terrorists who turned out to have nothing to do with terrorism." I know I would be furious if one of my loved ones was locked away without trial simply for their skin colour. - Surely the greatest quotes extol the virtues of freedom regardless of cost. No great man ever said, make me safe, give me a prison and put me inside.

Re:For the love of Pete... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960199)

The 4th Amendment is a nice example. Sneak & Peek searches, Warrantless searches, the list goes on.

Re:For the love of Pete... (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960205)

...could someone PLEASE finally tell me what civil liberties are threatened by the PA?

The rights to privacy and due process, for example, are directly threatened. The PA circumvents many of the traditional checks against government, especially in the so-called "sneak and peek" provisions. Politicians and pundits who support the PA frame it as if law enforcement already knows who's guilty and who's innocent, and the guilty clearly deserve no civil liberties. Skeptics believe (like the majority here on slashdot) that the dangers posed by terrorism do not exceed the dangers posed by a corrupt government.

Re:For the love of Pete... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960894)

"Skeptics believe (like the majority here on slashdot) that the dangers posed by terrorism do not exceed the dangers posed by a corrupt government."


Re:For the love of Pete... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960409)

Well lets see, as other has said the fourth and fifth ammendments are trashed. One reason why you dont know why its so bad is, when the DHS comes for you they dont tell anyone I've never even heard the Patritot Act being used in the newspapers. Were supposed to be concerned about terroists but the only thing the PA can do anything about are domestic terroists. (how is our laws going to do something in another country) They use their sneak and peak powers to arrest drug dealers. They keep track of your library books. Also somehow when the PA was up for reneweal they couldnt get a majority to pass it, but now they add some Meth provision to it and everyone but 10 honorable men vote for it. This new provision effects everyone in the United States who gets sick. If you want to buy any cold or allergy medicine well you better hope your over 18 and you better be pretty fucking sick unless you want to be put on a drug dealers list for no reason. In closing you boil a lobster by slowly heating up the pot, if you just dump it into boiling water it will jump right back out.

Offtopic, but (1)

Eightyford (893696) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959892)

Does anyone know of an online monopoly game or even a good download with ai?

Obligatory Grammar Post (1)

Odin_Tiger (585113) | more than 8 years ago | (#14959966)

Anybody notice that the game rules / cards seem to randomly use 'lose' and 'loose'?

Re:Obligatory Grammar Post (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#14960566)

Yes, I noticed that and it ticks me off. "Lose" is a word we've known ever since we started playing Candyland. "Loose" is a word we've known ever since we started tying our shoes. Other than random freak typos, there's no excuse for a native English speaker to get these words confused. That goes double for this board game, which could have quickly and easily been checked for spelling and grammar.

Good. (4, Insightful)

TheNoxx (412624) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960056)

You know, more games should (no, not kidding) have political leaning and teach people about the political situation of today, and the history of American meddlins in the middle east. Maybe, just maybe, people will become aware of what their tax dollars have done to their fellow man in impoverished countries, and just maybe, with enough people, a few small but key changes could come about.

I always give a great deal of respect and support and love to people who try to keep an eye on the government, and even more when they have a sense of humour about it. The reality of the situation, for all citizens, is kinda like a parent trying to keep an eye on a really mischevious kid who likes to steal your stuff and money and beat up other kids, but instead of an unruly pubescent child, you have an army of secret agents and powermongers to try and keep from running amok.

Bad (1)

Moraelin (679338) | more than 8 years ago | (#14960537)

"You know, more games should (no, not kidding) have political leaning and teach people about the political situation of today, and the history of American meddlins in the middle east."

I.e., instead of games I should get pure propaganda.

And not even that, but some nerd's unilateral lopsided own One True Way in which everyone should think. Forget about thinking for yourself, let Mr Game Designer tell you exactly what you should think about economics, politics, ecology, etc. Never mind that he isn't actually qualified to talk about any of those subjects, and never got any actual education or training in those fields. He's not any more qualified than your average cabbie or barber talking about how to balance the economy when they can't balance their bank account, but don't mind that. No siree, don't let such things as "education", "expertise" or "reviews by qualified peers" (qualified and peers in that field, that is) get in the way of being taught the One True Way to see a problem. Trust Mr Game Designer. He's read something vaguely on that topic in a blog once, so he's qualified to tell you what to think.

You know what? No, thanks. If I want information, I'll take it from someone who has a Ph.D. in that field, not from cabbies, barbers, game designers, and other completely unqualified people talking out of the ass.

And either way, it's still propaganda. Where have we heard that before? Oh, right, there was this Chinese game discussed right here last week: Learn From Lei Feng Online [] . Let some propaganda spin-master tell you what to think. E.g., how dangerous the capitalist spies are and how you, as a good Chinese citizen, must unmask them and thwart them at every turn. (I.e., go tell the police when one of your friends says unpatriotic stuff already. They're probably a spy working for those capitalistic pigs.)

Does it sound like disgusting propaganda yet? Well... what makes you think I'm happier to hear _your_ propaganda?

Whatever happened to the idea that a game is just entertainment? If I play a game, it's just to waste some hours unproductively and hopefully in a fun way. If I wanted to spend it taking sides and shouting pro- or anti-government slogans, I'd go to some party's meetings instead. It's that simple.

Being force-fed propaganda isn't a game, and isn't fun. Being preached at isn't fun. Having the game punish me for stuff out of my control, just to illustrate someone's own agenda, isn't great gameplay. It's that simple.

Even the idiot discussed in his article, what did his friends tell him? Right. "I've had people complain to me that when they play, nobody wins" Ah-ha. They complained. I.e., they weren't finding it fun to play.

What's his answer? "I'm like "Yeah, that's the point."" I.e., his goal wasn't to make a fun game, his goal was just to shove his personal ideology and agenda down people's throats. No, that's _not_ the whole point of game design.

In a nutshell, no, I don't think we need more games like that. I think that what game designers should be doing is design a good _game_ and devote more time to _gameplay_. If you need to sacrifice gameplay for any other agenda points, then that's your clue that that point doesn't belong in the game.
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