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Ballmer Babies Banned From iPods and Google

CmdrTaco posted more than 8 years ago | from the thats-one-way-to-slow-the-competition dept.

554

Valah writes "In a recent Fortune interview with Steve Ballmer, the newer kinder Microsoft CEO is not only ready to take on the videogaming, search, music download and mobile markets - but he's also laying down the law in his own house. Steve says that his kids are not allowed to use Google or have an iPod."

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Would a different approach be better? (5, Insightful)

Mattygfunk1 (596840) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018015)

I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod.

I'd take the other approach - if they choose rival manufacturers then study first hand why they do so.

First hand experience can tell you a lot more than market research sometimes, and might just give future MS products an edge.

Re:Would a different approach be better? (5, Funny)

masklinn (823351) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018052)

Whoa, study? It's Steve Ballmer we're talking about, if he as much as SEEs his kids anywhere near iPods or within 20m of a computer displaying a Google page it'll be Chair Throwing time, he'll Fucking Bury(TM) them. He's done it before and he'll do it again. He's going to Fucking Kill(TM) his children.

Re:Would a different approach be better? (5, Funny)

thatguywhoiam (524290) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018198)

Whoa, study? It's Steve Ballmer we're talking about, if he as much as SEEs his kids anywhere near iPods or within 20m of a computer displaying a Google page it'll be Chair Throwing time, he'll Fucking Bury(TM) them. He's done it before and he'll do it again. He's going to Fucking Kill(TM) his children.

Yeaaaarrrgggghh! Honor me, children! HONOR MEEEEE! GIVE IT UP FOR MEEEEEEEEEE yeaaaaaar

You know what you need? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?!
DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE *cough* DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE
*hacking paroxysm* DISCi... *pants heavily* its all about the DISCIPLINe children... jesus.... fucking.. dis.. I... I.... *collapses in a puddle of sweat and desperation*

Re:Would a different approach be better? (5, Funny)

Golias (176380) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018214)

I think you people are being too hard on the guy.

He's just talking about believing in his product enough to feed his kids his own dog food.

Wait. That came out wrong...

Re:Would a different approach be better? (5, Funny)

aborchers (471342) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018056)

I think this is great. Knowing how kids typically react to this kind of thing fom parents, we can be virtually assured they will rebel against MS as adolescents and grow up to be Linux developers!

 

Re:Would a different approach be better? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018126)

And gain 500 pounds, an unprecedented affinity for greasy fat foods, and assured virginity for life! Fuck the man! Linux all the way!

Re:Would a different approach be better? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018239)

Amen to that, brother! Fucking idiot lunix developers. See you at the Klan meeting tonight?

Re:Would a different approach be better? (5, Funny)

Machina Fortuno (963320) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018159)

Just like all the pastor's kids who became coke dealers, right? Hahaha, I do think this is pretty funny honestly though. But really... with a dad like that, who cares if you have an iPod or not. They could probably twist him arm into getting their own Vista backdoor! :P (hold shift and eat a pretzel during boot, and Vista all Vista code will tranform into a robot ready for your command)

The difference between a monopoly vs competitive (4, Interesting)

ron_ivi (607351) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018089)

And that summarizes the difference between a monopoly and a competitive landscape.

In a monopoly, you're best off using

  • fear (if I catch you using Google I'll throw a chair at you)
  • and uncertainty (but can you really trust Google? It runs some free OS which can never scale as much as our expensive one) and
  • doubt (but a small company like Google, will they be around next year?)
to keep your users.

Balmer knows this, and he's practicing it on his kids.

Exactly! (4, Interesting)

Infonaut (96956) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018115)

I'd take the other approach - if they choose rival manufacturers then study first hand why they do so.

Knowing your enemy is certainly preferable to willful ignorance.

Imagine Ballmer as a military commander: "No, I'd rather not examine the captured enemy secret weapon. From now on, all captured equipment shall be ignored! Any soldiers who say anything about the superior capabilities of the enemy equipment shall be placed in one of the suicide squads. Carry on, men! Carry on!"

Re:Would a different approach be better? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018121)

iNovation? iNovation? Where is my chair....

Re:Would a different approach be better? (4, Funny)

w3weasel (656289) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018132)

That is NOT an elephant hiding behind that tree... it's not there.
-- S. Balmer

MS thinking (3, Interesting)

gr8_phk (621180) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018162)

"First hand experience can tell you a lot more than market research sometimes, and might just give future MS products an edge."

Clearly he doesn't care about his kids opinion of Google. Microsoft believes only in the positive feedback of a strong market position - we're popular because we're popular. By forcing his kids to use MS instead of Google or Apple, he's just doing his part to convert the masses one at a time. He thinks Microsoft just needs to reach a critical mass and they'll come to dominate whatever market they want - product quality is not an issue. This is backed up by the history where inferior MS products beat out supperior competition just because they got on more desktops. Remember when Gates told the folks at Apple he didn't need a superior product? So long as he could deploy to the IBM compatible world he'd capture the market.

That old philosophy clearly still exists.

Re:Would a different approach be better? (1)

rewinn (647614) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018212)

On the plus side: his kids are learning how to hide their googling from Authority.

so, he has his kids brainwashed (5, Insightful)

yagu (721525) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018019)

From the article (emphasis mine):

Do you have an iPod?

No, I do not. Nor do my children. My children--in many dimensions they're as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod.

Well now I get a sense of where the inability to know the market comes from. Get a clue Ballmer -- to best compete with your competition you get to know them intimately.

Your strongest plan to defeat you competition is to know them as if you were them!

The only other plausible way to unseat a king is to have so much money and power and control of other resources that you can bludgeon him, beat him mercilessly until all of his resources are gone and you can take the ... Hmmmm. Never mind.

Re:so, he has his kids brainwashed (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018075)

>>The only other plausible way to unseat a king

...is to take his throne and throw it across the room while yelling "I'm going to fucking kill that king!"

Re:so, he has his kids brainwashed (1)

garcia (6573) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018096)

Survival of the fittest. Google is *the* search engine that returns the *best* results. If he's going to limit his children to a search engine that sucks (i.e. MSN) then his kids won't be as well informed as those that are permitted to use Google.

This is like a father telling his children that they are only allowed to use Encyclopedias from 2001 instead of the 2006 edition.

Re:so, he has his kids brainwashed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018144)

There's always dogpile... That's one loophole I see.

Re:so, he has his kids brainwashed (1)

rmadmin (532701) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018099)

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. :)

Re:so, he has his kids brainwashed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018119)

Well now I get a sense of where the inability to know the market comes from. Get a clue Ballmer -- to best compete with your competition you get to know them intimately.

Your strongest plan to defeat you competition is to know them as if you were them!

Perhaps too much of the opposite is happening at Microsoft; look at the Search.msn.com [msn.com] homepage - it is horrid, I couldn't stand to use it myself. My guess is if Microsoft engineers weren't doing all their searches through Google, it'd probably look better.

Re:so, he has his kids brainwashed (5, Insightful)

_xeno_ (155264) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018152)

I'm gonna take a wild guess that Steve Ballmer is, in fact, capable of joking, and that his kids aren't really forbidden from using Google or iPods, but instead really are Microsoft supporters. It's not really unheard of for kids to be fanatical about things their parents are involved in.

I expect that Ballmer's kids really are "brainwashed" in the sense that they believe in their dad and the company they work for. I doubt they've been actually forbidden from using it, they'd just rather use the tools their dad makes.

I know I've heard plenty from my father about how the projects he works on are the world's greatest... I'm tempted to name names, but I think I'll pass for now.

If you can't beat em (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018025)

If you can't beat 'em, ban 'em, eh?

Not a problem! (4, Funny)

The-Bus (138060) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018026)

Considering Google's willingness to appease the biggest government censor (China), I don't doubt that Google will also censor itself in Ballmer's home, if IPs were given out. And another th--

WAIT... Steve Ballmer has human children?!?

Off-topic (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018076)

Let's leave China out of this.

Re:Not a problem! (1)

'nother poster (700681) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018107)

WAIT... Steve Ballmer has human children?!?

Well, thta's his story and he's sticking to it.

OB Office Space (4, Funny)

schon (31600) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018153)

"[...] chicks dig a dude with money."

"Well, not all chicks."

"Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do."

Re:OB Office Space (4, Funny)

MustardMan (52102) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018227)

I was more thinking of a different office space quote....

"fuckin... children would have hooves"

He performs anticompetitive maneuvers on his kids? (1, Funny)

Too many errors, bai (815931) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018028)

Does he throw chairs at his kids as well?

Re:He performs anticompetitive maneuvers on his ki (2, Funny)

bubulubugoth (896803) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018080)

Sure!!! that was the pavlovian educational brainwashing method of his childrens' brain...

Ipod -> Chair -> pain
Google -> Chair -> pain

That'll work (4, Insightful)

illtron (722358) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018032)

Telling kids what they're not allowed to do/have will certainly make them stop wanting to do/have whatever it is. It'll work for sure.

On the other hand, if the alternative is being thrashed about like a rag doll by a sweaty man-ape...

Re:That'll work (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018048)

Telling kids what they're not allowed to do/have will certainly make them stop wanting to do/have whatever it is. It'll work for sure.

Hello, fellow Catholic school alumnus!

Ah, excellent: (5, Funny)

Vengeance (46019) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018033)

Another generation of the wealthy and clueless.

No Google, indeed... Similarly, I do not allow my children to use 'legs'.

The sleeping giant goes on the offensive (1)

towsonu2003 (928663) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018034)

with a huge chair I suppose...

Babies: But dad it's cool \\:D/
*chair flies over*
Ballmer: I'll be back

Oh my... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018038)

Ballmer has reproduced?!

Chairs (0, Redundant)

truthsearch (249536) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018040)

But they're allowed to throw chairs, right?

In other words (1)

gelfling (6534) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018041)

No NON Microsoft products in his house.

Well. (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018042)

They had better, or else they get the Chair.

And in other news (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018043)

Ballmer found out that MS has a Linux lab and raised the stock price of office furniture retailer Office Depot by 20%.

He's rich enough (1)

benjjj (949782) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018044)

He's rich enough to get someone to custom-build him an iPod from scratch and slap an MS logo on the back. As for Google, his kids have serfs to do their internet searches, using windows live or whatever's hot at the moment.

But... (4, Funny)

J05H (5625) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018045)

But... Dad!! All the other kids are doing it!!

This guy is a world-class IDIOT (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018046)

The board needs to cut him loose. Seriously. He is nothing but a liability to Microsoft at this stage, especially in light of the recent "appearances count" stories. What is less offensive to customers in the long run? Stallman's dreadlocks and sandals, or Ballmer's chair-throwing, iPod-banning, and monkey-dancing?

Ballmer seems to be trying to turn Microsoft into some kind of Stalinist personality cult, only without the personality.

Rubbish joke #358 (0, Redundant)

whirlibulf (911135) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018047)

I bet the kids are too scared of the chair-throwing to buy an ipod.

Behind The Curve (5, Funny)

Steve B (42864) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018049)

Microsoft is about to roll out new versions of Windows and Office.

This must be some new definition of "about to" with which I have not been familiar....

Brainwashing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018053)

The interesting part about this quote is that Ballmer implies he had to brainwash his children in order to get them to use Microsoft products.

at least he admits it's brainwash (1)

whysanity (231556) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018055)

I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod.

Of course, this speaks nothing of groupthink [google.com] .

Jesus Christ (1)

110010001000 (697113) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018057)

Slashdot, he was JOKING. Do you need to slam everything about "M$"? So stupid. BTW, Linus has said that he doesn't allow his kids to use OSX or Windows, just Linux. What do you think about that?

This just means... (1)

kuwan (443684) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018059)

This just means that his kids do use Google and they do have iPods.

Its OK (1)

Astronomypete (794675) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018060)

Its ok as a balance, my 4 kids, only have Linux installed on their computers, with Google set as their home page and 2 of them have IPODs.

Poor kids (1)

JFlex (763276) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018063)

I foresee future Microsoft employees being raised. *sigh*... those poor kids. They'll never know what it's like to use a technology that actually works. Well, another one bites the dust I guess.

Uhmm... so what ? (1)

FlyingSpank (589824) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018065)

Fortune, and some other magazines is just an equivalent to the Playboy centerfold for CxO's etc .... this a fluff piece.

It may as well read ...

I prefer throwing charis
I like dancing like a monkey
I make my children do things that look good in print.

Reality is .. so what.

Another karmic positive way of looking at it is :

Assuming away the bluster .. if MS's offerings were good enough .. would this step be needed ?

Feh. Why dont they run the toilet paper Ballmer prefers... it might generate better discussion

This once again proves my theory that (1)

Dishwasha (125561) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018070)

Steve Balmer is a facist pig (sorry David Hasselhoff I'll get you next post).

My children will inherit billions... (1)

geoffrobinson (109879) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018071)

they hire live cover bands to follow them around 24/7 while feeding them grapes by hand.

Re:My children will inherit billions... (2, Funny)

Red Flayer (890720) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018182)

"they hire live cover bands to follow them around 24/7 "

That's so middle-class. Real billionaires hire the orginal performers for their kids, not cover bands.

Fortress Microsoft (1)

WindBourne (631190) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018074)

I wonder how soon software businesses will realize that MS will be cutting them out as well, once they get to a set size. It is apparent that MS will go to great lengths to take any dollar that they can.

While I dispise MS for what they do, I also admire them for how they can take their products and push them.

I've got my kids brainwashed and pissed off (4, Insightful)

digitaldc (879047) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018077)

but he's also laying down the law in his own house. Steve says that his kids are not allowed to use Google or have an iPod."

Ahh when will parents EVER learn? If you forbid something, it just makes the kids want it more.

Coming soon, Ballmer's kids eventually end up working for Google, Ballmer buys an Island, sets up a wireless Windows-only network that blocks anything Google, and rules it by Windows-only voice commands from atop his throne.

just another reason (2, Funny)

DennisInDallas (309656) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018078)

I usually can't work up a lot of pity for the obscenely rich, but it's really got to suck to be a little balmer - for so many reasons

Jokes overheard in the workplace... (4, Funny)

RyoShin (610051) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018081)

"I wonder if Steve would only allow chairs that would be easy to throw, or have chairs so heavy that they couldn't be thrown. It depends on how he wants to raise his children, I suppose."

"Maybe his real motive for not allowing iPods is so that the kids won't throw them. Those things are expensive!"

"If you think Steve's tantrums are bad, wait until you meet his kids."

I'll be here all day. Try the veal.

lameness filter can suck my cock (1)

black mariah (654971) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018082)

zzzZZZZOOOOOOOMMMMMMMmmmm That's the sound of the joke flying over the head of practically everyone here.

Ballmer Babies Banned? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018083)

I think the article title is wrong.

It should say "Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers"

Uhm... (1)

X3J11 (791922) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018086)

"but at least on this dimension I've got my kids brainwashed"

Do you really trust someone who claims he "brainwashed" his kids? Oh wait, who does this guy work for again? Yeah, my bad, never mind.

It may work for a while... (2, Funny)

theheff (894014) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018087)

until those rebellious teenage years... although I have to admit that a google query is a lame display of disrespect.

Imagine a Microsoft World (1)

Alien54 (180860) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018088)

(cue John lennon)

Imagine all the people .....
It's easy, if you can ....

(etc)

Relevance? (4, Insightful)

Mayhem178 (920970) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018090)

I have to say that the summary given for this article isn't at all representative of the article as a whole. That being said, I have to say this. How Ballmer deals with his kids is a private matter. It should stay a private matter, and he should have known this. As CEO of a company like Microsoft, he should know that his private home practices are not justification of his proposed business models.

If he doesn't allow his kids to use Google or have iPods, that's his business. He shouldn't make it ours. That kind of preachiness can come back to bite one in the ass.

Brainwashing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018094)

He did to his children and he's trying to do to the rest of the human kind as well, hehe.

Lou

And I thought my parents were bad.... (1)

OxygenPenguin (785248) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018102)

My parents always wanted to control everything in my life, too. They didn't allow computers for a while, because they could potentially induce pornography, etc.

However, my parents never took away 2 of the greatest cultural phenomenons in the last 2 years, simply because they are competitors with you. I know that my dad's tool shop would rather me not use the other company's competing tool, but they don't stop me from being curious and knowing the customer.

Ballmer needs to stop being an absolute control freak...I can't believe he's even letting it bleed into his family life.

I wonder if he screams "Developers! Developers!" at his kids, too...

Child abuse (0)

thehubbell (928572) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018104)

Some would consider this child abuse. I wonder they use google they have to sit in the naughty chair. Third time they get the chair thrown at them.

Re:Child abuse (3, Insightful)

everphilski (877346) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018235)

It is a sad world when not having an iPod is child abuse.

You can't be serious (1)

kuzb (724081) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018118)

I don't know how anyone can even take that quote seriously. It's more likely a joke ballmer made that the journalist took out of context for his own benefit. I mean, think about it.

Ballmer Babies? (1)

dr_dank (472072) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018120)

Sounds like a hellish offshoot of Muppet Babies.

Baby Balmer: Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVLOPERS!!!!!!!!!

Nanny: Is everything alright in here?

Baby Balmer: Yes, Nanny.

I think it's safe to say he has emotional problems (4, Insightful)

Nijika (525558) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018122)

I've been saying it for years, a company's attitude starts at the top. If he wasn't a moron, he'd be letting his kids use these things, and then he'd be observing them and quizzing them on why they like them. He has his own marketing team, right there in his house, but he's more content to control than to learn and discover. Well, -shrug-, that's why MS will be MS until he and Bill are gone. I feel sorry for the micromanaged offspring though.

There's a fine point of parenting here... (2, Insightful)

Sierpinski (266120) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018123)

The best way to get a child to do something is to tell them they're not allowed to do whatever it is. (Especially if you don't give them a good (or any) reason.)

I'm not talking about using Reverse Psychology on them either. I prefer to educate them and let them decide for themselves what is best. If they're old enough to use a computer and Google/iPods, they are probably old enough to decide for themselves what they feel is a better product/service. Good 'ole Dad is just ushering in another reason for rebellion. Sometimes children need to be treated like children (because they act like children, of course). If you want them to act like they're older, you have to treat them like they're older, which means respecting them. Outlawing a competitor's website is ridiculous. If anything it should inspire him to want to create a better website so his children will WANT to use Microsoft's search instead of Google. I just think he's going about it in the wrong way.

This is probably good for Apple and Google (1)

chia_monkey (593501) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018125)

Just as parents that are too strict on things such as a social life, sex, alcohol, etc end up having kids that are rampant on the respective scenes, I think this would be pretty damn funny if Ballmer's tactics had the same effect on his kids. Rather than curtail their use of Google and iPods, his kids will probably sneak off at night to "Google parties" and "iPod raves", be a part of the "Underground iPod Movement" (not like there really needs to be one) and end up being the top contributors to iPod accessories and features and some day work at Google.

Viva la chair-thrower!!!

So what? (1)

catdevnull (531283) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018128)

His kids probably also have cloven hooves and pointy bifurcated tails...

brilliant (1)

mackil (668039) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018130)

I recently attended a Microsoft Technet seminar where the speaker let it be known that the official rule at Microsoft is that no employee is to use Google, only the new MSN search engine. Not allowing his children to use Google or have an iPod is just as brilliant. Nevermind the fact that Google has the most relevant searches (for now), while MSN has the worst (of the major engines). So not only are his kids going to have a hard time doing research for anything, but his employees will as well. Funny stuff...

cognitive dissonance (2, Funny)

Geno Z Heinlein (659438) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018136)

Steve says that his kids are not allowed to use Google or have an iPod.

Agggh, the pain... can't decide how to karmawhore... call Micro$oft evil... make fun of Ballmer... Norman, coordinate!!!

Brilliant (3, Insightful)

mellonhead (137423) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018138)

Which means:

1. They used google and were told to stop.
2. They never used google but were told never to start.
3. Bought an ipod and Steve got rid of it.
4. Asked for an ipod and were told no.

Either way, the genius is admitting that either his kids tried these products or he knew they were so superior that he had to do the preemptive strike to stop them.

What an idiot.

Actually, I'll vote for 5. He's a buffoon that needs to pound his chest on a regular basis (not to mention toss chairs) to seemingly make himself look like a tough guy and is making the whole thing up.

Again, if so, what an idiot.

wow (1)

hangingonwords (581642) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018145)

great post. just more cannon fodder for the anti-microsoft zealots out there... it's okay though, i'm not allowing my kids to ever use linux. and if i was president of the world, i'd abolish linux all together.

if having bad karma means i'm not like everyone else on slashdot, then i'm going to hell.

A bit anal retentive are we? (1)

smooth wombat (796938) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018151)

He's brainwashed his kids not to use Google or an iPod? What next? They can't use Firefox or Opera?

What happens when his kids visit their friends who have an iPod or who look up info using Google? Do they leave the room or do they wash their eyes and ears out with bleach afterwards?

It appears the recent decision to push back the release date of Vista isn't tied solely to the problems with the code. The real answer might have something to do with the jumping monkey.

If my dad... (2, Insightful)

WormholeFiend (674934) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018154)

If my dad was as rich as Ballmer, I could think of at least a few other things to do besides googling for stuff and using iPods.

He claims innovation... (2, Insightful)

MyDixieWrecked (548719) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018166)

Think you can you crack the iPod market?

It's going to take an innovative proposition. In five years are people really going to carry two devices? One device that is their communication device, one device that is music? There's going to be a lot of opportunities to get back in that game. We want to be in that game. Expect to see announcements from us in that area in the next 12 months.


But the market is already doing this. Apple is already in on this. First with the ROKR phone (which was horrid) and now with the SLVR. In the near future, with holographic storage [slashdot.org] and other miniaturization, we'll be seeing phones with 30gb to 300gb+ capacity in no time.

He's saying to look for announcements in the next 12 months. I think in 12 months, the market is going to be vastly different from now. More phones will have mp3 playing features. higher capacities.

But I forgot. M$'s definition of "innovation" is to follow everyone else. ;)

Next on Slashdot... (1)

d.corri (952075) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018167)

In a couple of days: Ballmer Babies Banned From Eating
In a week: Ballmer Eats Babies

No Google at all? That's harsh! Ballmer is such a monster.

Just what Steve needs in his home... (1)

RoadWarriorX (522317) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018169)


closet Googlers!


(cue Pyscho music)
shriek, shriek, shriek....

Perfectly understandable: (1)

e**(i pi)-1 (462311) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018175)

He doesn't want them to watch this google video [google.com] on their ipods.

Seriously.... (1)

sholden (12227) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018177)

What a dickhead.

What's he going to do when one of his kids decides to follow a different religion? Have a different secual orientation? Cheer for a different sports team?

Using a search engine... my god... that man has problems.

Against everything (1)

TechAdd (963866) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018178)

I guess he means not to use product or service of the companies who does not like MS. Phew ... what would happen to his kid ... huh ...

Ballmer reminds me of Dick Cheney (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018186)

Ballmer reminds me of Dick Cheney...anyone else has the same feeling?

 

Brainwashing and flying chairs (1)

dyfet (154716) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018187)

I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod.

How rather sad actually that he looks at it that way. Of course maybe he uses aversion therapy with them; it's better not use google or an ipod than being hit by a flying chair...

lol... (1)

BewireNomali (618969) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018188)

... that means his kids are fucking reviled at school. lol.

Ballmer is an interesting anti-Gates personality. I don't think his penchant for the public eye does anything to improve the company's public image. MArketing is so important to monopolies that they really can't afford to be embodied by a raging behemoth.

This just proves it (1)

bloko (888358) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018204)

I knew this guy was fucking insane.

My thoughts (1)

hrieke (126185) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018205)

1st response- who cares?
2nd response- At least they're using their own products, so the short comings will get noticed (hopefully).

Just say "no" to iPod (4, Funny)

Megane (129182) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018209)

...because as we all know, the iPod is a "gateway product" that leads to hardcore product usage, such as OS X, Linux, and the psychedelic effects of BSD.

But there's a way you can help. Talk to your kids about products and teach them why non-Microsoft products are dangerous, and can lead to a life of crime.

Did you know that Steve Ballmer recently got interested in photography? But he had a problem when he ran out of supplies, and he started shouting "Developers! Developers! Developers!"

Oh my god!!!! (3, Funny)

pandrijeczko (588093) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018210)

You mean someone has let Ballmer REPRODUCE????

i call bullshit. (1)

macsox (236590) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018211)

you're trying to tell me that somehow they spend their entire lives without using the most popular search engine in the history of the internet? google's inescapability makes this pretty hard to swallow.

i think ballmer is trying to make a point to the reporter. REPORTERS! REPORTERS! REPORTERS! REPORTERS!

apple viruses (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018217)

Banning his kids form using Google is just silly.

However, banning his kids from using iTunes is just common sense. iTunes is the worst virus to hit the Windows platform since Norton/Symantec.

I would not let my kids anywhere near a windows PC with iAnything. I'd let them have a mac sure, but keep those apple viruses like iTunes and Quicktime away from windows installs if you have any sense at all.

Dialoge from the Balmer house... (5, Funny)

Tyger (126248) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018218)

"What are you hiding from me there?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. It's an iPOD isn't it. You have a ****ing iPOD!"

"No, it's pot! I'm doing drugs."

"Don't give me any of that. It's an iPOD. You know that we don't use iPOD in this house. And what's that on your computer? Let me see your screen."

"It's just porn, dad!"

"It better be. If I catch you looking at Google one more time, you're grounded for LIFE. Now go smoke your pot and watch the porn like a good boy."

brainwashing your kids (1)

Petronius (515525) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018221)

wow! The guy brags about brainwashing his kids. I'd hate to see what he does to his employees.
oh, wait...

I can see it now... (1)

pigs,3different1s (949056) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018226)

I can see it now, at whatever private school the Ballmer children attend:

"My dad is billionaire Steve Ballmer; so it's not important for me to know how to use a good search engine!"

Blah. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15018228)

I submitted this story ages ago. And it got rejected. Brilliant...why do I bother..

Overstatement? (1)

jareth-0205 (525594) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018230)



Microsoft is about to roll out new versions of Windows and Office.


Hell, that's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it? There's still atleast 9 months assuming no more delays!

New Logo For Steve (1)

Zebadias (861722) | more than 8 years ago | (#15018232)

Could we have a flying chair logo for SB topics thus getting the 'joke' over and done with?

It would be a good replacment for 'borg'

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